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Hermione Granger is given one chance to prevent a horrifying future in which Voldemort won the war.
Damn, this was dark and depressing but I enjoyed it all the same. Maybe enjoyed is the wrong word, the content itself was disturbing but you wrote it so well.
The atrocities that Voldemort could have committed if Harry had died in this are the ones I think definitely had potential to happen in canon in that situation. The fact that you had different methods of torture and killing for the characters sadly made this more believable. Of course Bellatrix would want to take her time, there would be assaults, and all the rest. By mentioning that different Death Eaters were involved in different people's demises and using their preferred methods it made it darker because you could see just how many people were involved in the atrocities.
I don't want to contemplate what happened to characters you didn't mention... Luna, Neville, and the like. :(
And it sounds funny after all this, but happy holidays!
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What’s the worst that could happen? After a fun evening at a Muggle pub on the last night of their Christmas holiday, Sirius Black learns the hard way. Of all his brilliant ideas, this one really took the biscuit. “I’m done with Muggle birds, I swear it!”
OMG. This is so different from the other one-shot I read but I think I needed it after that depressing one!
I couldn't help but laugh at poor Sirius. Of course he would be wasted and decide that it was a good idea to do karaoke. Of course he'd pull his friends along with him. And of course he'd decide that it was a good idea to hook up while he was drunk. The fact that he did not understand piercings was funny, but the fact that he liked it was all well and good. Until the revelation. I had assumed that the girl he was with cut him, possibly due to an unusual piercing. I was not expecting the revelation that he had gotten one. I'm just glad that I already know what that one is so I don't have to Google it. Yikes! He must have been very drunk to agree to that.
I do appreciate the fact that Sirius Black got tricked by a Muggle.
As I said before, I enjoyed this story as well. The fact that the two stories were basically opposites and both good is an impressive feat. The comedy seemed very natural and in character for everybody, which I find hard to pull off so kudos on that.
Hope you enjoy your holiday(s). =) - R
James swallows his pride.
1st place in ScorpiusRose17 and dreamgazer220's Lyrical Quote challenge
I was not sure what year this was set in at first, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was before their OWLs. Most stories from this time period have Lily and James as very over the top, love vs hate, so it is nice to see a story where they interact with each other as acquaintances.
The Marauders keeping track of the number of rejections James has received made me feel bad for the poor guy. Nothing quite like your best friends betting on your happiness and or embarassment.
The ending was so sweet. Her potentially developing feelings ages before accepting a date and being unable to resist some charm from a good loailing guy is relatable. I also like that you showed how her friendship with Severus differed from BFFs to... however you would describe it at the end. The change there rather than it being a sudden thing was also nice, in the opposite way.
The summary said you felt like you couldn't write Marauders, but I disagree. This was very enjoyable and I would not have guessed you weren't super comfortable with these characters.
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Petunia Evans imagines life at Hogwarts.
First place in beyond the rain's click and drag challenge :D
Review copied from HPFF, now that I realize you're here too:
It sounds like this was for a fun challenge and you did a great job with an unusual assortment. Petunia, the sorting hat, and imagination don't seem to go together at all but this story seems perfectly plausible. Of course Lily would have written home after her sorting and of course Petunia, who wanted to go with her sister, would imagine what things would be like if she was a witch, too.
The more genial Petunia seems more plausible here, I believe. You can tell that she is still jealous of her sister, but it is more subtle. The anger and confusion and feeling of being thought of as "less than" are all woven in naturally. The way Petunia thought of all the things she would have done better than Lily - sitting straight, listening to the hat - illustrate how she is having a hard time with why her sister was accepted into the school but she was not granted the magical skills. The desire to be like Lily (Gryffindor) but to also be seen as as good as, if not better, than her sister sounds very real. As somebody with a sister a couple years younger who was my best childhood, I don't doubt that I would have reacted like this if we were in the Evans sisters' shoes.
I love the concept of writing the villaneous, morally wrong characters before they were so bad. It is very sad knowing where she ends up, neglecting her nephew out of spite for her sister, but it is made worse knowing that she was not always so bad and was unlikely to really grown resentful of her sister at first.
Oh, I almost forgot - the descriptions of the houses Lily gave Petunia were hilarious. Picturing Severus Snape in the movie star house got a good laugh out of me.
First and foremost, I must applaud you for tackling the potential issues with time travel head-on in this chapter. By addressing the possible issues rather than forgetting them before the character has even gotten settled you give me faith that it isn't a convienent way to get a ship you want in.
If she changes things by revealing Peter is literally and figuratively a rat, she could mess with her time so severely it would be impossible to get on the previous track. At the same time, how could she not want to save Harry the trouble of living with the Dursleys? The impact that making Snape not a Death Eater and not having the impact on the prophecy could also be huge. There are so many different ways this could go, from minor changes to her having a huge impact to not changing a thing (although I would say that's unlikely).
I'm glad you said on the forums that you have an idea where this is going, because there are so many things up in the air that it could get unwieldy if you tried to pants it. I'm looking forward to meeting other characters we know soon. The fact that it seems like we are going to do that in a way that is NOT the typical compartment-on-the-Hogwarts-Express trope is also a nice surprise.
I started reading this and had a sense that I'd seen this chapter before. A quick look on HPFF and not only had I read the first chapter, but I'd reviewed it too! Since these comments are more or less what I was going to say now, I'll copy & paste:
I'm here for our review swap! I noticed that this story was actually on my reading list, so I figured that there was no better time than the present to start reading it.
Despite the fact that they are a little cliche, I can't help but have a soft spot for time travel stories because there is so much potential when you mix people we know and/or have heard of from various eras and trying to figure out how they would interact with each other.
Your characterization of Hermione is very good. I like how you had her recognize that Ron and Harry do not always see eye to eye with her and the fact that she can be more open minded then them. And, of course, having Dumbledore pulling the strings despite being dead fits so perfectly because he really did do that in canon. If he had a special time turner that could go back far enough, I can totally imagine him using it to try to change the way the wizarding war progressed in the mid/late 1970s.
The fact that you made sure to show the effects of going back and time in such a short period, both physical (vomiting and dizziness) and psychological (going back nearly 22 years to when your friend's parents were younger than you) is a nice touch.
I enjoyed this first chapter and am interested to see where you take it. Thanks for the review swap to prompt me to start it now. =)
Ahh, her reaction in the last paragraph is perfect. Did she always teach Snape that, having learned it from Harry who learned it from him, or was he supposed to learn it later? Did she change something or is this like in PoA? It will be interesting to see the truth.
Since I've read a few chapters without reviewing, I want to say that I find it really interesting that you placed Hermione in Ravenclaw. The Sorting Hat obviously strongly considered it the first time around so she fits, but how much was her wanting to avoid temptation to spill the beans to the Marauders & Lily? It provides an interesting twist on most time travel fics, where she fits in so well with the Marauders. Her reaction to Sirius here is so opposite of what you usually see (even in your other story!) which is really cool and pulled off quite well. I hope to see more positive interactions between her and characters we recognize in the future.
I like that even though you know who the love interests will be in the story that they are not being shoved together quickly. Not having people fall all over the new student is nice.
Like I said previously, Hermione's inner conflict is well done. Her thinking over everything and trying to avoid giving into temptation to fix (or "fix") everything makes this bittersweet, since I can't help but WANT her to save Sirius, Remus, Harry's parents, keep Amelia Bones from being murdered, etc.
Also, Lockhart and Rita Skeeter!? *shudder* Now that is a couple you can't help but want disappear never to be heard from again!
How did I read nine chapters today? That is a testament to the story like none other. Clearly, I have been hooked and am eager to find out what happens next. It seems like so much has happened already (this begins the same week it started!) but we have covered so much ground (nearly 40k in!). I have a feeling this is going to be a monster story when all is said and done, so I appauld you for your massive undertaking. It is certainly not easy, especially when you realize you still have so much to go and oh God why does it seem like you aren't making progress. (No? Just me?)
The characterization in this is still great. You have managed to remain true to characters who are often reduced to one- or two-trait figures who lack all complexity. At the same time, you have managed to sneak some humour in as well. Poor Amelia Bones... not behaviour one expects to see from the Head of a Department!
I hope to see more friendly (and not-so-friendy) faces in the future. =)
Of course I had to continue this for the holiday gifts.
Progress! The hissing of "scarab beetle" and the offer to help Hermione show that her efforts may finally be paying off. After so much disdain aimed her way, something so small is really a relief. Going back in time with no success (or cross-generational boyfriend) would be a pity.
The memory to a time in Order of the Phoenix was great. The fact that young Remus and middle aged Remus had such similar comments makes me think I may have an idea of the impact she has. That, or Remus is just consistently himself with similar opinions.
I think there was an interesting take on the Mudblood incident here. Hermione's belief that he should be forgiven for the mistake is one you don't see often. Perhaps it is because she knows how much of an impact it has on his future and what he does for Dumbledore, but it is unique. It also poses an interesting hurdle for her future relationship with Amelia and the others.
I think you are handling potential time travel issues quite well. Hermione's determination to do or not do something because she knows the dangers of messing with time are addressed well rather than used simply as an excuse for an unusual pairing to be possible.
Me again with another review.
Hermione's panic at possibly having to return to her own time at that moment is very telling. She may be stuck in this time, but the idea of going back no longer is as tempting as it was at first. Could it perhaps be feelings for a certain Slytherin future professor?
The balance between the two is nice here. The fact that Snape actually gets Hermione's to help him is huge. Even as an adult he is not that type of person and he did not show himself to be much of one to ask for help as a teen either, so this was a nice way to show the changing relationship through actions.
I cringed at Hermione's comment about the animagi. What if her push to not get them registered was what made it all happen... Peter living as a rat, Sirius's escape from Azkabam, even Rita Skeeter's reporting!? A dangerous thing to meddle with, indeed.
Again, you're doing a great job with the slow relationship progression. It feels very true to character and - bonus! - keeps the suspense and tension building nicely.
Hope your holiday season is treating you nicely so far. - R
I have so many chapters to catch up on!
Oftentimes in fic the description of characters’ clothing serves little to no purpose. Here, I felt like it fit. I think a good part of that was that you didn’t try to shove the characters into our ideas of what is fashionable when this story was set in 1976. Amelia’s bronze, bell-sleeved dress fit into that look very well. The part about Hermione was a bit cliché (“curves in all the right places”), but it gets its point across.
The lack of Marauders really let us get to see other characters. The interactions that Hermione is having with her fellow Ravenclaws is nice to see. They tease her about her relationship-or-friendship with Snape enough that you can tell that they really, really do not like him. At the same time, they aren’t making fun of him (or her) to the point where I don’t believe that she would continue to remain friends with them. The full moon wasn’t actually at the end of October, but it is such a minor detail that basically no one will know unless they have written a novel in the Marauder’s sixth year. (So… just me haha.)
I love seeing Snape out of sorts due to Hermione. He is so stoic all the time in canon that it is a nice change.
The Hermione/Lily/Snape thing feels real. Snape is kind of jealous and kind of worried, it seems. How much does Hermione know about what he said? Do she and Lily have something up their sleeves? Will Hermione’s opinion of him change? I could almost see all those thoughts going through his head as they discussed the relationship between the two girls.
Dancing Sev!? Isn’t he just full of surprises!
I really liked the last part of the chapter. Lily trying to defend somebody is so in-character. Hermione being all defensive because she is falling for him works too. They both are true to what we know of them from canon. In a strange way, they are both trying to do right for other people even though they have conflicting ideas of what that might entail and what should and should not be forgiven. And they now don’t get along!? This is NOT what you usually see in time travel fics. Definitely a nice twist.
I am reminded again why you won a FROG for this story. :)
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After the Battle at Hogwarts, Voldemort remains at large. Dumbledore has chosen to send Hermione to the year 1977, where she must prevent certain events from taking place, save the Marauders' and Lily's lives and defeat Voldemort before he becomes too powerful. Falling in love with Sirius Black is just a perk... or inevitable disaster.
I'd like to thank my wonderful beta for my rewrite, motherconfessor! ♥
Marauder time travel? How could I resist? I'm a sucker for sixth and seventh year stories so this is right up my alley. I can't wait to see how Hermioke will adjust to a new decade, new friends when she knows their fates in her world and who they became, and the war. And, of course, romance.
One thing: at the start of the story there is "sjw" which I assume is suppose to be "she".
Ah, her reaction to the guys! Sirius in particular, I like the way this is going. The fact that she is having to try so hard to keep her head straight and remember her mission - feign ignorance, befriend all the Marauders and Lily, pretend she doesn't know about Peter's betrayal or the others' deaths - makes me feel for her. I hope it gets easier for her as time goes on.
I can see this going several different ways, but that uncertainty makes me want to keep reading. :)
Me again! I powered through all six chapters today so I thought I'd let you know my thoughts so far. (And everybody appreciates reviews.)
I have read my share of time travel stories over the years (cough decade cough) and I am really enjoying yours. I like the way you have written James and Lily not as enemies or a total love/hate relationship going into seventh year. Her getting along with Remus especially makes sense and it's nice to read the guys without totally over the top personalities.
Im looking forward to seeing how Hermione reacts to not-Professor Snape in the next chapter. Should be interesting!
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Dobby, a free elf, receives the best Christmas present he could have asked for.
Written for Marshal's 'Tis the Season Challenge
This story got me. A bit of Dobby fluff was just the thing I needed today. The fact that it was Christmassy fluff where he doesn't spend Christmas alone and gets a job where he is treated right makes it all the better.
I know that we learn from canon that he and Dumbledore had an unusual bartering situation, but it was much funnier to read it here. To have the boss want to pay and give much more time off than the employee is quite funny. Silly Dobby. The fact that simply having a day off and being treated right was good enough for him is bittersweet, but I'm glad he and Dumbledore managed to come to an agreement where Dumbledore convinced Dobby to take a bit more pay. And, of course, Dobby getting gifts hand-knit by the most talented wizard alive was great.
Gorgeous Banner by mockingjay@TDA | A gift for the lovely beyond the rain
for·tu·i·tous- fôr too ə dəs/
happening by accident or chance, rather than design
I'm not sure what's come over me lately. Evidently, AUs and time-travel have caught my attention lately since I'm reading a lot of them on the archives this week. And another Snamione... I don't think I really tried this before, but I figured "sure, why not!"
First of all, I'm glad the prologue didn't have me missing something. Like an entire prequel. It got my attention so I want to see how they go from the "10 months previously" to that.
I'm glad Hermione and Neville get to learn to teach together. Even though they both have issues with classroom management being so young or mistaken for younger (which I can relate to, during my time in teacher's college I was pegged as a high school student a few times) they get to go through it together.
And hearing about the early days as Potions Master... that's tough. I never really thought about the fact that his earliest students would have been in the lower years when he was finishing up Hogwarts. Some may even have memories of the pantsing from OotP and the "Snivellus" thing probably was hard to shake. You do an excellent job at humanizing him and making him into a complex character, rather than just the hated teacher.
"Your mother was very brave."
"She passed the spot where Fred died..."
Why!?!? Ugh, those lines got me. I mean, obviously she would have had a big impact on people's memories of the war and something like that never really leaves you. Living in the place where so many friends and family died would be tough, even for somebody who had been doing well with nightmares more recently. Anyway, I found those two lines in particular especially effective at driving the point home. You never know just how much has changed in stories like this and poor Fred, still killed in the final battle. :(
The last part was sweet. He was right, nobody would believe her if she told them that not only did Severus Snape have a soft side, but that he was capable of making jokes. Maybe Harry would believe it in the books since he had seen memories in the pensieve, but here? She'd be on her own.
You are doing the gradual, slow-build thing very well again. (*Snape voice* OB-viously.) There are only snippets that are spaced fairly far apart, but they do enough to drive the changes home that it doesn't feel disjointed or unnatural. For somebody who seems to feel a need to over-write and cut, it's very impressive.
This chapter hit just about all the bases. What an emotional roller coaster.
Her parents were killed after she brought them back. Probably by people who were still Voldemort sympathizers. Why don't you just shove the knife in a little deeper Meg? I said the last chapter had a couple lines that really tugged at my heartstrings but you have outdone yourself here. This is just depressing. Thinking about this and then getting half her body frozen makes it natural that she assumes somebody has snuck into Hogwarts, but the truth is better.
A kiss! Romance! But oh God, that's gotta be awkward for her at the end. Eek. Poor Hermione.
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Sirius Black learns how to be woman's best friend for a few days.
I was expecting this to be a story of his time on the run from Prisoner of Azkaban to the beginning of Order of the Phoenix, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was from when he was sixteen and left home. I have a soft spot for Sirius around that time (obviously) so this story was right up my alley.
Sirius’s worry that she would somehow recognize him as an animagus was funny. But, at the same time, it did make sense. He was obviously already on edge after the blow-out with his mum and worrying about what to do for the next few days so anything could be perceived as a threat. I’m glad he found a nice human who loved dogs to help him. The part about her dog made me sad though (and yes, I realize it was a fictional dog!).
One thing I really enjoyed about this was that Sirius seemed to be come more dog-like and less human-like the longer he spent in his animagus form. For example, his referral to cats as “dastardly creatures” made me laugh. The sneaking onto the couch when nobody was around to tell him otherwise was also so much like a real dog that it seemed like he was really getting in character. (Or maybe just comfortable, who knows!)
Him leaving was sad, but him going back was perfect. It is something I can see Sirius doing, since he was obviously more complex than he is often portrayed in fan fiction. His worry that ten pounds might not be enough for two coffees in the mid-‘70s was funny, while him dumping all his Muggle money in the tip jar pulled at my heart strings. <3
OH MY GOD THE ENDING! HE WAS SNUFFLES ALL ALONG! LOVE. (I may be a touch over-enthusiastic about dogs. Especially dogs named Sirius.)
Happy holidays! :)
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She may have been a Ravenclaw, but Julianne Savona was anything but the model student. Between Quidditch, failing Transfiguration, and dealing with unofficial family members, it seemed like everything was already as hard as it could get. But she could not have been more wrong...
Transferring reviews from HPFF, since I enjoyed this story!
I am a big fan of Marauder era stories, so I just had to check this one out when you said you would like reviews on it.
First things first, I would like to say that I really enjoy the way you have made it clear that Julianne is not your stereotypical Ravenclaw and that she struggles in a subject. Especially given how difficult Transfiguration is, this seems like a natural fit for her character. The talking in the library has already helped make her seem like a more well rounded character than many Ravenclaws in fic, so kudos for that.
The fact that you also brought Quidditch into it was a nice touch. Showing the competitive spirit between houses other than Gryffindor and Slytherin is a nice touch.
I'm interested to find out exactly what happened between Lily & Julianne in the past to cause such a cool relationship. (Also, nice twist of the usual Lily's-friend-likes-Sirius plot!)
I love breaking the Ravenclaw stereotypes because there is so much more to being intelligent than just doing well in school. Obviously there are going to be a lot of studious Ravenclaws, but there are also going to be those who are smart in different ways. Highlighting that difference between Ivory and Julianne is especially fun, since Ivory is what everyone pictures when they think of a Ravenclaw.
Quidditch is just such a fun plot to write. And considering how hard these kids go with just House points, there had to have been a ton of rivalry between all the Houses, even Hufflepuff.
Hehe, everyone has really seemed to like the disagreement between Lily and Julianne Originally, they were going to be close friends, but after edits and rewrites and years between versions of this story, Julianne somehow became close to James and she and Lily seemed like they were much to similar to be friends, at least as first.
I'm so glad you like this! Can't wait to hear what you think of the rest!
Review transferred from HPFF.
Hi. I'm here for our review swap.
You did a great job at incorporating the darker aspects of what was happening in the wizarding world at that point into this chapter. The mentioning of the war in one of the earliest paragraphs tied the entire thing together nicely, since you returned to that at the end. You managed to show not only what the Slytherins were doing but the fact that most of the students (at least the older ones) were keeping track of the news from outside the school. Bringing in a student who Julianne knew and who was a relatively recent graduate did a good job at showing the effects of what was happening.
I love the way you portrayed James and Sirius here. All too often they are shown as rule breakers without a lot of other depth, but you made them even seem somewhat responsible when they were discussing the proper use of Quidditch supplies and the importance of safety. (Which, to be fair, is much more important when you're fifty feet off the ground than it would be on a basketball court!) James in particular was established very well here. Showing the long relationship he had with Julianne and his patience with trying to explain Transfiguration in a way that she got better showed a side of him that all his friends (and future Order-mates) knew and loved. Julianne's faith in him and stating that he liked Lily for Lily rather than as a possession like Snape helped make him seem much more human than he often appears in fics.
One thing I might suggest changing is the repetition of the word "practice" near the end of their Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. It is repeated frequently over the course of a few lines and switching it up once or twice would lead to a better rhythm.
This is something relatively minor but I have to say that I love that you incorporated Greta Catchlove and the surname MacFarlan into this. Using such minor, random names from the Harry Potter Lexicon or whatever other sources have them is brilliant. Most people probably don't notice this but as a huge Marauder nut myself (who happens to have Greta and a MacFarlan of my own in my novel) this made me really appreciate the amount of research you put into this.
I'm interested to see how this story goes and how far you take it. (The end of sixth year? Graduation? The Potters' deaths?)
I enjoyed this. Thanks again for offering to swap! =)
Hey, Rhaenyra! Thanks for doing the swap :)
It's really important to me with this story particularly that the war be as prominent as I could make it. Especially given what we know about these characters after the graduate, the war has a really profound effect on all of them. Having it start off by just looking at the obituaries in the daily paper.
I've probably said this to you before, but I absolutely love James to death, so having him act like an actual human being came really easily. I've always thought that he had a outer shell of arrogance, but on the inside, he's really just a big softie and genuinely cares about every single one of his friends.
Hehe, I'm glad you like the little bits of canon. When I get writer's block, I tend to research and brainstorm, which as led to an entire list of characters that are either canon or related to various canon characters who I can use in Daily Prophet obituaries and anything else I might need them for.
As for how far the story is going to go, if everything goes right, this will cover fifth through seventh year and then some they graduate :)
Glad you like the story so much! I'm excited to see what you think of the rest of it!
She knew. She knew he was lying. She knew why he was lying. She knew exactly what had happened. And she knew exactly what she had to do about it. But it wasn't fair.
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I don't think I've read this one before. Their interactions were so sweet. The fact that this was all before they were dating makes it extra adorable. The angst that Lily felt when she thought James was doing everything for her was a great sign of how much she cared for him.
His participating and unwillingness to back down from what was right, even though he didn't have to be involved in the Muggleborn/pureblood mess showed love, but also compassion. So often that part of James isn't shown in fics. Yes, he loved Lily but he (and Sirius) put their lives on the line when they could have just sat back and kept their heads down, never being targets themselves.
No? I'm glad you've gotten to it now, it's definitely one of my favorites. I think this is the closest thing to canon that I've written. Definitely how I imagine their relationship playing out. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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The media always gets the story wrong.
Cheesy fluff with overplayed tropes? Yes please!
I enjoyed the interaction at the beginning with Poppi and James. I appreciate a female lead who can hold her own, so her stepping in to domestic disputes (regularly, apparently) and not letting James be hit in the back was a good start. Her snark to him about him potentially being a serial killer or wanting to follow her home was a bonus. James, on the other hand, is somebody I want to learn more about. We get the basics of him but you leave enough questions to keep the reader intrigued: who exactly is Eva? Why did he take her to his parents' place?
Seeing Ginny turning into Molly made me laugh. Of course she was willing to take in a stranger, do their laundry, and invite them to spend time with the family. She fits right in with her parents. The fact that Poppi recognized how odd it is but that it didn't seem like the first time it had happened in the Potter-Weasley clan makes me wonder just how many times they've opened their doors. It is a nice change from the paranoia of their youth.
The last line was cute. It also brings the promise of more hijinx and awkwardness next chapter, which is good with me.
I have not read a lot of Next Gen and very little with James II, so no matter how cliche this is all pretty new to me. =)
It's Hallowe'en and, bereft of jobs to do for the Order, the Marauders are getting bored. So what better to break the monotony than a little prank on the inhabitants of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place?
**Winner of the HPFT Gryffindor common room Hallowe'en challenge.**
Here to leave you a holiday review.
I can't resist a Marauder fic and am always struggling on how to write their pranks, so I needed to check this out. I know you said that you wrote it quickly, and maybe more detail would have been nice, but I was not disappointed. The inspiration from a Muggle legend of a Halloween haunted house with a magical twist was great. And putting it to the test against Sirius's parents was great.
I like how you made it clear that Peter was not an imbecile and was still involved at this point. The fact that he and Remus knew the term "zombie" but the purebloods didn't and had to relate it to Inferi was very smart. The mention of Padfoot as a grim was a nice tie in to PoA and the rat form animagi finally came in handy.
I felt bad for poor Kreacher in this and - to an extent - even Regulus and Orion. Wallburga really was a piece of work. It was nice to see her being made uncomfortable in her own home. Even if she was back to her usual pain in the neck ways by the end of the story.
Thanks Rebecca!! I'm still not convinced by this story but I think you hit the nail on the head - it needs more description. I probably should have mentioned we had a word limit for the challenge, and cutting it down was rather difficult. Put another way, this is probably a 3000 word story in a 2000 word body. Sigh.
I was quite pleased when I came up with the idea for Grimmauld Place as a haunted house, as it did seem like something these boys would do. As for the zombie thing, I'm glad you liked it because I was pretty proud of that one - they are pretty much the same as Inferi so having the pure bloods not know that term was fun. As for the Blacks, well I do admit to just getting a vague idea and running with it, personality wise. Sirius talks about his mother much more than his father in the canon. This could be just because of the portrait in Grimmauld Place, but I did get the feeling she had a fairly dominating personality regardless. So that was how I chose to show that.
Thanks so much for the review!
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"James, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"
HPFF Best Canon Ship Golden Paw Award (2012)
Ahh it's so sweet and fluffy!
I have read my fair share of James/Lily over the years. (Or more than my fair share, if I'm being honest.) They're my OTP so the chance to read a collection of one-shots on them is too tempting to resist. I'm always looking for a fresh perspective and characterization that I like and this definitely meets that requirement.
First and foremost, I want to say that I like how you show the change from sixth year into seventh year in the first two stories. All too often you see Lily still hating James - if she ever truly did - at the start of 7th year. Going from loathing to getting pregnant in 2 years seems ridiculous to me, especially for a teenager, so I'm a big fan of the 6th year maturing and friendship building.
The twist here of Lily asking James out for the final time was great. James is consistently the one to ask her out in stories, but it makes a lot of sense that he would do it very irregularly or stop altogether after the OWL incident. To have Lily decide that yes, she is interested in James and would like to date him is a nice change from the ordinary.
The banter between them was well done. I could picture them saying and doing the things you wrote as I read it. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this.