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A Niffler of a trick by ShazaLupin

Rated: All Audiences • 5 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star
Summary:

1 Care of Magical Creatures Class + 2 Mischevious twins = a whole load of fun.


1st place in Gray Raven's 'What's the lesson for today' challenge.


Reviewer: caomoyl Signed
Date: 08 Jul 2017 Title: Chapter 1: A Niffler of a trick

**Transferred from HPFF** (apologies about me being so picky when I wrote this 3 years ago. idk if any of it still applies)

 

I loved this little one shot! It was definitely something I can see Fred and George doing to their fellow students. 

I felt that you characterised them all very well so it fit with the images in my head of them. It's one of the things I find hardest with writing but you did a very good job with it.

I did notice that on two occasions, you used the incorrect form of 'their'; once right after the split and and the other time is when you said about Fred and George having tears down their cheeks. You also seemed to only capitalise Gryffindor when Ravenclaw also needs to be capitalised. 

One last thing is your use of apostrophes. You've used them quite a bit when using the plural form of the word (such as "he rounded on the Gryffindor's.") which doesn't require the apostrophe. You only need it when contracting a word or if the word is possessive (i.e. The Gryffindor's gold, because the gold belongs to the Gryffindors)

All of that aside, I really did love this! Good job with it!

-Amy