Hi! My name is Rose and this is my author page. I'm adding stories from other sites and writing a new next gen novel. Watch this space.
Here's my original review:
You do a great job showing how Hermione processes through grief and that she's coming to terms with the battle. I like that her mind is on Snape - I can imagine that learning the truth about him was a major shock. I love the idea of Dumbledore as the all-knowing yoda for the HP world and that he would of course know that Hermione woudl find Snape's death tragic and give her a way to prevent it.
It's incredibly brave of her to go into the past on her own. I do think Hermione woudl have been keen to change and prepare (even if it was just a little). Did Dumbledore charm the time turner to go back to a specific time? Hermione's activated by physically turning the pendant to go back a certain amount of time.
I love that Dumbledore is perfectly polite to her when she appears in his office. :D
After reading this again, I think you've done an amazing job through editing this and have made the narrative very moving and dramatic. It was those things before but now it's even more wow-ing.
here's my original review:
Despite being quite groggy and out of it, Hermione is exceptionally quick on the uptake with Madam Pophrey and qualming her worries with Hermione's health. You write Dumbledore's actions and speech extremely well. He's thoughtful and enigmatic. The reactions Hermione has are spot on as well. She's so thoughtful, confused, and yet poised. I like the show her conflict at wanting to warn people who she knows will die. I'm interested to see how she grapples with that in the future. I also like that she's thinking through what this means for her present day self - are there two of her in the future!??! I could see her having such an intereting reunion with Ron just days after the battle.
Your descriptions of Ravenclaw tower are wonderful. It makes me want to go there more than ever. It seems so lush and comfortable.
adding to that:
I love everything about your narrative. You've really taken Hermione's thoughtfulness and just amazing desription to make the story feel real and genuine. I'm so glad to be rereading this.
my original review:
Hermione's over-plannner tendency certainly comes out in this chapter. I can't imagine how hard it would be to not get noticed as a 'new' student at Hogwarts. You do a really good job showing how Hermione tends to think through plans and alternatives to those plans.
I really liked her trip to Hogsmeade and meeting Rosmerta. I'm glad she was able to change her perspective on the bartender as she did dislike her for so long in the future. I enjoyed your characterization of Rosmerta - I can see her being concerned for her patrons and just as kind as you wrote her. I liked that she had a vested interest in Hermione's safety and that she considered the conversation with Hermione more of a relief than a job duty. Being 19 and working in Hogsmead could get very lonely.
I almost died too when Hermione ran into Bellatrix and Lucius. That would be quite the unpleasant shock. I wonder if they have a death eater meeting there.
It probably will help that she doesn't look quite the same in this as she does in the future but I'm glad you didn't completely change her looks (or go for a supermodel!hermione thing).
Ah! it's Lockhart!! I heart him to pieces even though he is quite inept. Man, having the sobering knowledge of the future would be so difficult when seeing all these bright and youthful faces.
Her first observations of the Marauders are very well done. She knows them but is still getting to know them at this time. Remus' description is just so sad - a stark contrast to the grown man.
how does dumbledore have a niece? Is niece just the polite way to say vaguely related? :D
Hermione's attempt to help Snape was quite interesting. I'm not at all surprised he was rude afterwards, well, ungrateful at least. I am a bit surprised Hermione didn't expect to have to build a slow relationship from the start. Snape isn't really cuddly and I'm not sure how much she'd expect him to change from teenager to adult. I would have expected Snape to at least have other death eater friends around him at the table. But, yeah, he might think Hermione is a bit weird for staring at him. And I could see him being mustrustful of anyone new in his life.
Ooh, Amelia! I'm so happy you had her in here at Hermione's new friend. She's so lovely. Boy oh boy, Sirius does lay it on thick. I can only imagine how uncomfortable this is for Hermione - you do a good job showing how his persistant flirting would just be horribly awkward. Imagine what Harry would say if he saw that. :P I love that Amelia is unmoved by Sirius' attempt to flirt with Hermione and that Hermione also seems disinterested. it seems like she almost didn't like him. And, yeah, Sirius is quite arrogant too.
Rita + Lockhart - I totally ship them now. What an annoying couple they'd make. I imagine they're qutie popular with their good looks and ambitious plans for life. It was sad for Hermione to meet so many people whose lives are either over or in shambles by the end of the second war. :(
I am incredibly excited about Hermione and Amelia being friends. They seem like they'd get on well and it's just nice that Hermione can rely on someone. Ooh, and her warning about Snape was very interesting - I wonder what past misdeeds she knows of.
I really love how you have Dumbledore in this chapgter. Something about his tone and diction is just perfect.
so much to comment on in this chapter. this might be out of order but so is my brain. :P
I wonder what a light load would have been for Hermione. The thought made me laugh a bit - it's probably for the best that she signed up for a lot of classes. I do think it would be a bit weird if Hermione knew her way around really well on her first day. At least Flitwick's map reminded her to be a bit lost.
Snape is so mean and suspicious (though the last part I get). I'm not surprised he jumped to the idea that Hermione might be in with Sirius on some prank - but it is sad that he's had enough experience to make him think any girl showing interst in him is just in it for a prank. :(
Then there's Sirius. I get why Hermione isn't giving him an inch with his advances but I feel like she's truly dislikes him (not just his idiotic teenage behavior). I wonder how wounded Sirius' ego really is. Once again, I love how good of a friend Amelia is. She makes me wish I had a friend like her. Ha, meeting James can't have been easy. I love that he was their to highlight Sirius' humiliation. :D That seems very fitting for them.
Edgar and Otto seem interesting as well. I'm starting to think it'll be very hard for Hermione not to make an impression on her classmates.
I was so happy to see you putting Remus and Lily together as friends. I've always done that as well. I feel like they'd have a lot in common once Lily got past who he was friends with. haha, Remus is such a good friend to try to upsell James to Lily. I also love that Lily extended her friendship to Hermione - that especially reminds me of Harry.new comments: I don't have much to add that I didn't say last time other than I'm really enjoying getting a good re-read in :D
I can't blame Hermione for feeling overwhelmed at this point - it's such a change to be back in time and she has such a difficult task in front of her. Your commentary on Sirius maturing while in Azkaban is quite interesting. I tend to think he stopped maturing in Azkaban though he grew more somber.
Hermione's advice in potions was indeed interesting. I wonder how many of the HBP suggestions she'll come up with? I was also a bit surprised that Slughorn didn't mention Lily as the other top student, as he raved about her at least to Harry. Slughorn also seemed a bit patronising which fits well with his character. I don't really like him and you've captured all the reasons why I don't like him.
You make the Ravenclaw CR sound really amazing. I wish I could have gone to school there. I appreciate that they're not just all nerds but that school is a focus for them. I also wonder about the little teaser you put in about Lockhart and Skeeter putting on a show - are they pretending to be into each other for social gain?
Remus is perfect in this. I love that he not only apologizes for Sirius but is so used to it that it's second nature for him. I hope he and Hermione can be friends. I thought the hallway scene with James and Sirius finding Remus was adorable. I wonder if they were using the map (though I doubt they'd whip it out to fact-check what remus was saying). Ooh, and, I totally ship Amelia/Remus now. Thanks. :D
The realization hermione has at the end is interesting. I wonder if she'll be less worried about her impact on the future as her going back has and will keep changing stuff. I feel like her experience with Sirius in PoA would have been enough to understand that. Anyway, excited for more!
I KNOW I COMMENTED ON THIS BEFORE BUT GAH, SLUGHORN'S COMMENT ABOUT HERMIONE GETTING SNAPE'S HELP IS JUST GAHH. Also, I don't know how Hermione is surprised that Snape is kind of a jerk to her without cause. That is exactly how he is as an adult too.
I love that Otto wanted to use Sirius harrassing Hermione as a way to get him out of quidditch.
I love the information Hermione gets from the time travel book, basically giving her free reign to interact with an attitude that she's meant to be there. It's kind of mind-blowing to think about the time travel paradox for too long (so I won't :P) but I like how you wrapped that up so Hermione doesn't have to keep worrying about it.
Remus and Hermione's chat is so so so adorable. I do love the young, carefree Remus you have in the chapter. Then again, it makes me sad to compare him to the extremely broken and weary man that we see in OotP and HBP. :'( I did get the feeling in OotP that Sirius perhaps knew Amelia kind of well which would have happened if she and Remus dated. Amelia's reaction to Hermione's friendly gossip is sweet. I'm really excited to have them explore some sort of relationship together.
Man, Rita is quite the nosey person. Her passion for news and gossip is quite evident even as a teenager. I wonder if she'll keep prying after this (probably) and if that'll get Hermione into any sticky situations.
DADA had me laughing with Hermione trying not to be bored and not master the spell too fast. At least she was able to impress Snape in the lesson. I wonder how long it'll take them to have meaningful contact. I really admire how different you're able make your characterizations of Hermione and her relationships with various students. I can't keep diverse characterization of the same person in my head (or writing).
Hermione has some real sass with Rita. I kind of hope she outs her as an animagus but that would be difficult to do without blowing her cover. I just love Remus so much. He's so gossip-y and cute.
Yay for some progress in this chapter. If you didn't have some soon I was going to stage a protest :P I really felt for Hermione at her being overwhelmed by the magnitude of her mission and questioning why she'd do it. She really brings up a good point about how they did win but I feel like stopping the second war from ever happening would be such a good thing to have happen. She really is alone there too - I mean, she can't tell Amelia what she's going through or trying to do. *hugs poor Hermione*
I really love Snape here - showing concern for her but also not wanting to admit that he felt concern at the same time. I'm going to want to strangle him at some point, aren't I? Hermione's attitude with him is great - while it'd be fun for them to just fall in love but I do like the angst of two people trying to come together.
Sirius and James cracked me up (at least at first) with their sneaking around under the cloak. I kind of felt like they were a bit tweedle dee and tweedle dum there but it was hilarious. I do wonder how often Snape thought he heard James and Sirius in the past and shrugged it off as his imagination being overactive.
Whyyy is snape so... well, okay, he was just jinxed and that can't put him in a good place but whyyy?!?! does he have to react like him. :( :( Good fighters or not - it's so upsetting that he hit her with sectumsempre (though it seems to not have been intended for her). I was so glad McG got there. I'm also glad Snape used his healing spell thing on her to help out.
What? A party in Ravenclaw tower?!?!? I'm jelly but also not surprised
As much as I love Snape's concern, I do have to wonder if he's fronting in class/when people are around so he doesn't seem weak or what made him suddenly less callous towards Hermione.
Also, I <3 the moment with Hermione and Snape at the end
okay, first new review on HPFT!!!
I can't believe what a party house Ravenclaw is. :-o Like, seriously. We were a bit more tame when I was in Ravenclaw Tower. :P
Going back to the beginning -- I'm not surprised Remus told Amelia about Snape hexing Hermione. And they are all correct that he's not the best person to know. I do wonder what Hermione's rush is about getting to Snape asap. I mean, her task will take time so week in hospital isn't a complete set back.
I am glad Severus visited but gah, i'd pay for insight into his thoughts because he's so confusing. Hermione and Snape are so infuriating that I don't know if I should lock them in the same room or keep them apart. :P
I feel bad that Hermione has to put up with Slughorn again. I mean, he's so pompous and annoying. At least he'll give her access to Snape - for whatever that's worth <_< I am interested to see what they can make ouf of doing this for an entire month together.
And, really, back to the partay. o.o They need a chaperone. haha. At least they all had fun before dying young.
I'm glad Hermione decided to study Snape before approaching him again. That's more of the forward thinking Hermione I like to see.
It's sweet that Snape was watching her enough to notice she was about to mess up her potion. That really says a lot about his attention to detail even if he acts otherwise. hahaha, I like that she teetered from attractive to not ungly. That's definitely a shift.
okayokayokay -- the Remus and Sirius thing from OotP and HOLY COW. THEY REMEMBERED HER?!! I'm kind of freaking out and really really curious when they put that together and what they talked about. Are they the ones that told Dumbledore she'd end up going back??!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS
From Hermione's perspective, I get why she's excited about Snape but, wow. Amelia is def. right to be concerned. I would be if I were her and my new friend was was all into someone on his way to being a death eater. I'd be on the verge of a hardcore intervention. And, even though we know all that we know about Snape's redemption, I still question Hermione's answer about forgiving him.
Yay! Their not a date/study session. I like how obsessed Hermione is and how much she dismisses her feelings for him as being legit feelings. At this point I can see how it'd be a bit murky to her but I also feel like it's obvious how she feels. I felt so bad for Snape, feeling like he had to check that Hermione wasn't some grand prank being pulled on him. I really like how they connected over the bullying until Snape got all annoying with not wanting her sympathy. gah <_<
also, ouch. Hermione is a bit harsh wtih Sirius. :( Maybe I should go comfort him. ;)
Amelia is such a good friend, stopping Hermione from beingn a creepy stare person. I can see why Hermione is quite distracting to the other students - she's bound to be ahead of them when she's already completed that year of study.
And, gah, the cliffhanger is what got me going last night and kept me up for an extra hour + reading :P
I'm 0% surprised that the cliffhanger was just to make me upset before. :P I can't be angry because that'd be the hot calling the kettle black with messing with my heart.
I like Dumbledore's reflection over how much he puts on someone as young as Hermione -- I wonder how he'd react in '76 knowing what he put Harry though at a younger age!
Dumbledore was being very frustrating with his answer -- I mean, it's not hard to just open with a solid probably. gah.
I'm so curious where you're going with the animagus conversation. It seems like you're planting a seed for something important. I'm excited to see how that pays off later.
I loooooooooooooved Severus asking Hermione to help her study and the entire final scene with them. Him being late, her annoyance, psych, it was because he MADE THEM LUNCH. Okay, he got the house elves to make them lunch. Still. Snape is kind of sweet with her and I'm waiting for everything to blow up.
Lovely chapter! I'm glad you got hot seat so I'd have to come back for more sss.
Banner by justlikemagic at TDA -- Beta'd by Jane_Volturi -- Written for the Original Character Challenge
My name is Saleena Blackwell and, whether I like it or not, I was born to be a leader. I have spent the last 30 years of my life running away from my past because I did not want it to become my future. But it seems that all is catching up with me now, as I find myself back in the last place on earth I ever wanted to be… my home.
Hello my dear!
I'm stopping by with a late hot seat review. I haven't read your story where Saleena is introduced but that didn't stop me from enjoying this story. The entire tone is very mystic and feels like I'm reading a rather well established character. You have Seleena's and Carla's voices down pat. I mean, it sounds like they're alive and complex which is hard to get through in a one-shot when you're writing OCs.
I really like the power/family dynamic in this story. I'm reminded of other dynastic stories I've read where there's a shift in power and the tension that causes. This makes me want to read the story that this is set in because there's so much going on that I'm curious about and is probably talked about in the larger stroy. Even without reading the story this connects to, I feel this was still a great standalone story, even without the broader context.
Harry struggles to have 'the talk' with James.
I loved this. A lot. I laughed. Loudly.
I wondered, after your tweet about the socks being based on your ex, if the techniques Harry uses to get Ginny interested in sex are as well. Harry annoyed me in this but I think you intentionally kept his annoying idiosyncrasies from ootp and beyond. I'm one of those horrible people that was just fed up with Harry by the end of dh which is why I made him grow up a lot before I could write about him. Anyway. Even though I found him annoying, the story is hilarious. I couldn't get over the socks. Mostly because it's a non starter for me. Then they kept coming up which was prefect.
Ginny, bless her for enduring so much. I'm guessing Bill and Charlie took care of walking in on Molly and Arthur. Times like this I'm glad my parents were divorced.
Ron = amazing. I want to be friends with him and Hermione. I cracked up at her being a lightweight gossip. Also, I loved the joke about Voldemort giving Harry the talk. There's a hilarious scene playing in my head about it. I'll see if I can write it for you.
Back to Ron. I loved his comments about Neville and how much Harry wanted to avoid saying he needed advice. Dudley was priceless. He was more together as a parent with this and I laughed so hard when he tried to explain things to Harry.
The ending with James already knowing what's what and the socks just slayed me. For real. I didn't know I needed to read this until I read it.
Oh wow! I'm fangirling over this review. I can't believe it. I love your writing. I never thought in my wildest dreams that you would read one of my stories and let alone like it!
The socks are the only thing! Ha-ha. My ex used to never take his socks off and complain his feet would get cold. I couldn't believe it. Such a turn off. Just get naked man! I used to take them off if I could reach them...in...err....certain positions lmao. Horrible. I never experienced anything like that before him. The other guys I was intimate with had no problem getting undressed or taking their socks off. Probably TMI but he also didn't like to take his shirt off and it wasn't like his body was bad or anything like that but he was just that lazy. You know now that I think about it I think I'm the only one that was ever completely naked. THIS REVIEW RESPONSE HAS GONE INTO AWKWARD TERRITORY.
Harry annoys me sometimes too. I actually find him difficult to write, which is why he always comes off as annoying, whiney or funny but only as long as Ron is around. I just feel like Harry has this quirks about him so the sock thing is offically head canon for me. Just like his nimble hips and being a good cook. Bill and Charlie probably did walk in on their parents. They did after all have a handful of children. Or at least they probably heard their parents which is disturbing in its own way!
Ron I love! I love writing him so much. He comes off as this loveable doofus each and everytime I write him. Even when he's trying to be serious he has this quality about him that makes any situation a bit lighthearted. Dudley was so fun to write! I like the idea of him as this stuffy parent that knows his stuff.
Oh boy, thank you for this wonderful review. I appreciate it tremendously. :D I'm so happy you liked my story!
I'm here from the stasff review thread.
I've read a few Rolf/Luna stories before. I really like how you go into the changes in Rolf's life when he had kids and take a hard look at how that's not an easy change for most people. I can imagine it was especially difficult considering how free his life was prior to kids. His moodiness is a little aggravating -- you hit an emerging trope with the bored husband/father who relies on his wife for making life entertaining. Usually movies show this type of guy as bored to the point of infidelity or abandonding his family. I can't really see Rolf going to that extreme.
I laughed quite a bit at the twins being a happy mistake, especially with Charlie's spin on the situation.
It was interesting that they could apparate across the ocean. It might just be my head canon but I thought apparation didn't work as well over great distances (or that it was more risky).
Rolf's dad and that entire conversation felt very on point for the family theme of the story. It makes sense that Rolf has resentment towards his father and doesn't want him around his kids but it's also so perfect that Luna wants to give him a chance at redemption. I really liked her point about Rolf not really knowing his father after all the time they've spent apart.
The ending was rather humorous with the Aurors from MACUSA arresting them and Newt being there to help them out of a jam. I did notice that "Newt stepped in and reduced the charges almost to nothing. " appears twice which might be a copy/paste error.
Overall the story was cute and interesting. I got confused at a few points because of how fast the story moved and just how many locations, actions, and topics were in the story without a lot of time/focus on any of them.
Perri Laughlin had a weakness and her name was Raven Reyes.
I'm here from the staff review thread. I'm not familiar with the 100 so I hope my review is still meaningful. I think the whole alienation from everyone else is really well conveyed here. I like how you describe the PTSD-ish feelings Perri has and that it's really hard not to fear even if there's not a current danger.
I like how you describe Perri being able to go into places she wouldn't be able to if she weren't a doctor. The combination of role based privledge and being a social outcast is super interesting to me.
From the reaction Perri got from Raven... it sounds like they have a history or a future history (I... made that term up).
Your description of them picking up together in that lovely awkward but kind of romantically tense silence is awesome. It's not too much action but not too much describing -- just a good balance of filling in the scene, capturing the mood, and conveying the unspoken stuff between them.
I love that you ended with a little teaser for more to come between them
I've seen the truth now.
And so this is my final goodbye to you.
I here for the hot seat. I love reading stories where Hermione leaves Ron - it's always seemed like a very believable outcome for them. The letter projected pain and the years of hurt that Hermione experienced. I'm very curious what preceeded this letter and broke Hermione's resolve to stay together. I'm very curious about the difference between Ron and Hermione at the start of their relationship because Hermione says she was innocent at the beginning.
My only real criticism is that the reference to bullet/gun feel very muggle and not an analogy Hermione would use. Does this tie to a longer story? I'm very curious to read more about r&h up to this point.
10-minute vignette. Regulus has concerns about his impending future at a party celebrating Bellatrix and Rodolphus' union. Narcissa comforts him.
:-o I came by to see what story of yours I wanted to nominate and I found something new!!
I love how sweet and complex this story is. I always felt like being a pureblood would be so lonely, especially in the Black family. Narcissa and Regulus' closeness is just too perfect. Now I'm curious about a whole bunch of new ideas -- like Narcissa's reaction to Regulsus' death and if they were both a little anti Voldemort at various points.
I also really like how Sirius' estrangement from the family impacted Regulus. More often than not people write that there was not love-loss between them but I like the idea of having Regulus miss his older brother, no matter thier arguments.
I'm sad at the ending, knowing what the future holds for the two of them and that death will separate them. :(
(Actually, I wrote this for an old HC in 2014, but it has been shaken out, cleaned up, and edited to bits.)
After working out my headcanon for Regulus in Everto, I then had to spin a headcanon for him outside that universe, and this is what happened. I'd imagine that life would be lonely for Regulus, especially, with his brother abandoning him (even before Sirius ran away, distancing himself from Regulus through school) and if not with his friends, he'd be by himself in the Black household. Giving Regulus a friend in both verses does wonders for him as far as his character development, but I've noticed the major difference between the two verses is who the friend is. Narcissa's in a similar boat as Regulus, so while they work wonderfully as friends and can lean on one another for support, they aren't strong enough together to openly defy their families. This, of course, works much better canonically.
Anyway, I'm glad you liked this! I really enjoy writing little character vignettes -- they help me work out my headcanons here and there. Someday, maybe I'll actually get around to filling out some headcanons on the archive.
*squish* Thanks for the lovely review and the nom! :D