Bravery comes in many different forms, even for a Ravenclaw like Rose.
CTF - Transferred from HPFF
Hello! I'm on the hunt for a flag but I couldn't be in a better story to hunt for it, I love next gen so I'm happy! yay! So i'm reading out of order so sorry about that!
So, I love the fluff in this chapter, it really works for me as a reader to have this scene so goregously fluffy!!
Scorpius is so cute in this chapter, I'm loving how supportive and excitable he is! It's so new dad behaviour! baby is going to be very lucky to have him around! the way you write him is so beautiful here, my heart is basically bursting as I'm so in love with him rn. he is the star of this chapter for me though maybe it should be the baby or even Rose. don't care, love scorpius!
I think you do a great job with the characterisation for Rose too, I love how Rose is still really sassy and sarcastic even while her head is in a toilet! ha ha! she's obviously a really strong character.
it's quite late on the story for her to having her 13 weeks appointment which makes me feel like I've missed quite build up to these scenes but it's really nice to see them as a couple in a good place for these scenes.
I just can't get over the fluffy feels for this chapter. you've captured all the first time emotions for this scan perfectly I think. I think the next chapter may prove to be more dramatic though! xo
It's me again! Woo. So I totally have been meaning to read this for a while so I thought I would make a start now as such a good opportunity has presented itself!
So I really love the first sentence. It instantly grabs my attention as to what is going to come for the rest of the chapter, it's a good hook. I like how you've done the set up for the story. I thought all the little details about how the Auror office works is so clever and I'm sure that it's all from your own head canon so it's awesome that you've put all these carefully thought out little touches into the chapter because it really helps with realism and setting that scene of what Sirius' life is like.
I never thought too much about how Sirius found out about Regulus's death but honestly it's probably a really important point in Sirius' character development so it's interesting that you're going to explore and develop this event within the story. I think as always you know your character well so I found his quick reaction to be very true to his character but your charactersation of Sirius is always spot on because you know/like/understand him. I thought this was a really strong set up for a wider story and hopefully I'll be back soon to explore this story more! Keep up the good work!
- Abbi xo
Hey Abbi <3
Yeah, basically everything about the Auror's office is from my own headcanon. I'd say that stuff is by far the most challenging part of writing this story - figuring out how the Ministry and its departments actually function!
I'm really glad you thought this was a strong first chapter, and as always, thanks for the Sirius compliments ;) It's always lovely to get a review from you, so thank you for stopping by! <3
I'm here for gryffie tag! I'm so pleased to make it back to this to review it!
I'm always in awe about your characterisation of Sirius. It's just how much you know him. You could put him in any situation as you would know how he acts. it's so natural, everything about Sirius' emotions in this chapter feel so realistic. your own Sirius head-canon seems to fit seamlessly to the canon-Sirius.
The first scene is just lovely, sometimes writing romance isn't about the big gestures but a bit little moments that make up a relationship. These scenes are so beautifully written, not over done but you get a real sense of their relationship and how close they are. I'm so happy that Sirius has the support from Remus.
I love how Sirius wants to go to the Order Meeting that his loyalty (and probably desire for some normality). Dumbledore's words/warning is pretty intense and really highlights the danger of the war. I just have to say though I love Sirius' biting words here - ‘hey, I was wrong after all, genocide is great and also I'm straight now' - just love that savage reaction, it's great! Great chapter Kay! :D
- Abbi xo
Awww I love to hear that people like the way I write Sirius <3 It makes my heart happy!
I'm also happy to hear that you liked the first scene. I'm kind of fumbling around a little with my portrayal of Remus/Sirius as a couple in this story, because I'm not used to them being in the background, in a way.
Thanks so much for the lovely review, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter!
Transfer Review from HPFF.
So I'm really loving the internal conflict for Hermione in this chapter. It must be really difficult for her so I totally feel for her in a very real way. The story is really gaining speed at the moment. It's been really great pacing not too quickly either which I find very believeable for the characters you've chosen to work with. I can't really get over how good the portryal of severus is. He is such a complex character I really believe that you're doing him justice. I know that this going to be just a masterpiece when it's complete.
I feel like this chapter is really setting up what's going to happen in the next phase of the story with the conversation with slughorn (which love because the characterization for him so just so spot on!). I'm very excited to see where this is heading because obviously somewhere exciting! All the stuff with the potion is awesome, I love how well you've fixed elements of Canon into the story. It's little details like this that really set apart great writers from good writers.
I have my eyes firmly peeled for a new chapter of this especially with that cliff hanger!!
Btw. CTF :)
this whole chapter is a huge *squeeeeee*
it's so cute, I really love it. I honestly couldn't really imagine putting Snape into so much fluff and it working so well. I'm so impressed that this seems like a really big chapter for their relationship which is exciting. you can see how romantic you've made this and I honestly love that it's a Christmas chapter that is really happy and fluffy like in novels often Christmas is a time to inflict pain on characters but it was so lovely!
I think it's so in character for both of them about how embarrassed they are by 'sleeping together', it's awkward but it's rather realistic that they don't have everything figured out. I enjoyed that aspect. you have done an amazing job especially in this chapter at creating this snapshot of this 'first love' type of relationship (even if it's unusual situation aha). I love all the layers of this story because you have so much going on in it but it's really perfectly balanced.
"Promise you'll always be with me."
His arms tightened around her. "Forever," he said with his lips against the crown of her head. < awww, this is dead cute, I just fall in love with this couple even more. I can't wait to see where you're going with this story Meg now. it's a really exciting point within the story!
- Abbi xo
Stunning banner by bittersweetflames@tda
Bruises do fade after a while,
but while they’re there,
they hurt like hell.
I'm here for our review swap and always a joy to be here too! So I had trouble picking something from your page but I decided on this because I thought the pairing was interesting. I haven't seen a lot of Emmeline before so I wanted to see what you did with her.
So, I enjoyed seeing 'that night' or the effect of it from another point of view, it's really interesting. So you open with them waking up like normal, you really set up a good background for their relationship so you get the sense of who they are as couple. I love the strong but dreamy character that you've created for Emmeline. She's so thoughtful which I really like about her.
There are lots of lines that I really enjoyed but I really liked "Which means you just spent an exuberant amount of money on sweets for James." - I just loved this because it feels just funny and slightly childish which is really good contrast to the rest of the story. I just liked it because it seems very much like marauder-que like they're big kids. OMG, I adore baby Harry with the Marauders and James as a parent, I love the fluff but it makes me so sad though. why doesn't this have a happy ending?!
The last bit is heartbreaking but you write it so well, the thought process and the way which she reacts. I think this last bit is when Emmeline's character really comes alive and the strength she has is stunning. The end two sentences of this one-shot are perfection, I love the ending as a slightly hopeful one? you have a beautiful way of writing, there is always so much emotion in what you do which is such a credit to you. I loved this and I'm glad that I picked this one because it's been a fantastic read.
- Abbi xo
Dedicated to FireOpal/Epikoinos
2017 Golden Chalice Award Winner: Best Description; Hufflepuff December 2016 Story of the Month
Inspired by You Don't Own Me by Lesley Gore for toomanycurls' challenge | Banner by .amaris
I'm young and I love to be young
I'm free and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please
- A Hannah Abbott Story -
So Capture the Flag - Transfer for HPFF
I'm really liked this little chapter, I think it's cute that Hannah and Ernie are together though I'm obviously getting too out of touch with the stories as the first Ernie I thought it was the knight bus driver?! ha ha. that'll be a different relationship all together! So Hannah and Ernie and they live together etc..this is quite unexpected from the first chapter I think.
I love their relationship, it's so comfortable and fun like they know each other so well. the dialogue I felt was pretty natural. I can image myself and my partner having similar conversations. I read the first chapter too. It's so impressive that you can create and building these relationships in such a little amount of words yet they still feel really developed.
I love how cheeky this relationship is, Hannah seems very happy so what's going on with Susan in the first chapter then? it's like a bubbling mess of emotions...it's interesting, very interesting!
your chapter does very clearly refer the lyrics that you've chosen for. I've been reading a lot of angsty lately so this is quite a nice little change. they're happy at least for now...? who knows what's going to happen! xo
Haha, I never considered that Ernie might be considered for the Knight Bus driver XD
I am really glad that you think that both of the relationships feel really well developed. I think the key to this is not giving a lot of backstory, but making the moments we see be very grounded and intense and real - a lot of context can be gleaned from that.
This story is all about exploring polyamory, and while Hannah is not polyamorous at this point, I wanted to create that sense in the readers’ minds in these first chapter by showing how natural it can be for her to be very happy with two different people.
The chapters for this fic were entirely inspired by the song lyrics and the tone of each chapter inspired by the tone of the song, so they make great supplemental listening ;)
Thanks for the review!
So I've only read a few chapters of this but I really love how easy it is to read. I'm really interesting to see where this story is going. I think you've done a wonderful thing where you say so much in your stories but you use few words to do it. you're able to get across so much emotion and give the reader will the information that they need without over doing. you still manage to get some really stunning imagery to, my favourite in this chapter is 'the sunlight dancing playfully against her wavering chestnut hair'
I thought this was a really nice chapter and Susan addresses some really interesting issues within it. it's interesting to know that it is Susan whos teaches Hannah about her way of living You put it forward to such simple terms so I can see how it makes so much sense to Hannah now. you use the word 'beautiful' a lot witin this chapter and I think it's really good word to use that really does sum up this chapter. I'm really looking forward to seeing more about Hannah and Susan's relationship. I love how cute and fluffy this story is. I'll be back <3
- Abbi xo
I don't believe it, I was shipping Hannah/Ernie in previous chapters but what?! this chapter, first Ernie shuts her down when she's trying to talk about something important to her then he kisses someone else? WHAT. WHAT. NO WAY.
I'm getting really attached to Hannah as a character so much, can you tell? your ability to say so much in such a small amount of words is so impressive. I really feel for Hannah in this chapter, I don't like Ernie's attitude at all because it's not how you treat equals.
I do really like Hannah's thought process in this chapter though, from her claiming 'monday is practically a weekend' and what 'act she should put on today', it is little things that build up her character and make her seem to real and likeable you know?
great job, I can't wait to read more! :)
- Abbi xo
Beautiful banner by cat! @ TDA
"Friends til the end, remember?"
2015 Diadem Finalist: Best LGBTQA+ || 2016 Diadem Finalist: Best LGBTQA+ Character - Parvati || 2017 F.R.O.G.S. Nominee: Best Minor Character- Parvati || 2018 F.R.O.G.S. Nominee: Best Family/Friendship- Lavender/Parvati
So I just had to check out this story because I'm currently writing Lavender/Parvati so I'm now mildly obsessed with them. I'm feeling pretty intimidated after reading this, I managed to read all the chapters you currently have up and I'm so impressed by this. I adore the way you've written snapshots into their relationship, how realistic that everything has come across.
From the very first chapter, I really enjoyed the scenes when Lavender was there to comfort her about being in difference house than Padma and they instantly made that bond. Parvati's emotions through those little scenes were great, you wrote her as a smaller child really well and your writing really how much she has develop as person/character through out the series so I thought that was really impressive. I think the bracelet was so cute and I assume that scene will be important in future chapters like when Parvati mentions she still has it in the later chapters.
I thought the scene in chapter 2 was so realistic because I can't count the amount of times I've been at sleepovers like that. Poor Parvati being put up on the spot like that, it's funny she said Harry considering in the later chapters we attended the yule ball with him. I thought one of the things that I enjoyed most about this was how you worked all of this into canon. I thought the emotions of the Yule Ball scene were really great with your explanation that Lavender had always liked Ron and the arguments between them about Padma. I really felt for her when all she wanted to do was dance with Lavender and her panic about Lavender guessing that she had romantic feelings for her. I think that I like that it wasn't all so over dramatic that it seemed so real you know?
My heart was basically breaking when Lavender was hurt in the Battle of Hogwarts when Parvati was trying so hard to tell her how she felt before but it didn't happen. I'm rooting so much for Parvati to be happy here, you've done an ace job with her characterization as I've totally invested in her now. You must finish this? Is it already finished at HPFF? My emotional well being relies on it! You've done an amazing job at writing a brilliant down to earth coming of age story. I've read a lot couple of other pieces of yours from before I joined hpft and I loved them all.
How long awaited was this chapter? You left it on such a cliffhanger and I was really clueless about what you were going to do with it next. I don't think I would have come up with this chapter ever though!
I love protective Padma, you've created a really nice bond between the sisters. I think you do a really great job at presenting that in a realistic way without Padma being in this story lots. The sisterly bond is very clear.
This is so bittersweet because I'm really glad that Parvati and lavender chat about it because it would be such a shame to lose their friendship. As well as the romantic aspect you've created a really special bond/friendship between them which is just as important as that romantic chemistry that you've also been building for them which is part of what makes this story so special and likeable. You've done a lovely job of Parvati's mixed emotion in the chapter, its presented so well. They feel so raw and real.
I can't wait to see where you're going to take thiscstory from here? Is there going to be a fluffy ending? I don't know at this point but it's so engaging!
- Abbi xo
Banner by Callisto @ TDA
Hi, I'm Lyra Saige Malfoy! You recognized the last name (I tried and failed to pretend I was adopted). As you can probably imagine, being a Malfoy is dreadfully hard work. From warding off weird stares to dealing with your brother and his boyfriend snogging at the breakfast table, things get tough. Which is why I resort to my Gryffindor spirit, and brave it out. Let's just hope things don't fall to pieces!
Capture the Flag - Transfer from HPFF
So, I thought your main character, Lyra is so strong like she's got such a clear voice and she's crazy but I totally love this! It was really strong opening chapter because you've give any information without over loading the reader but also got my interest/attention.
I think Lyra is so believeable as a teenager, she's got a great inner monologue which is really fun. I love that albus and scorpius are together, I do love a bit of scorbus, no lie. they're beyond fluffy here too. Another thing I love about this! I've been reading too much angst recently!
So, your relationships are so great already. I'm totally enjoying the banter between the siblings. it's believable and engaging for it. it sounds like conversations I might have had with my brother when we were younger. I really like the relationships with her family which seems to be really strong and loving, it's nice.
I like that you had Lyra going off and talking about one subject like her friends then coming back to present. I imagine she is a bit scatty by the way you use her inner monologue here. I'm very interested but Lyra is going to be getting up to in this story! good job at developing some strong and promising characters within this chapter! ;D XX
banner by darth vader@TDA
Mum Friend (n.)- the one friend in the group who is always taking care of and looking out for everyone else; the responsible one
Unfortunately for designated mum friend Lyra Stebbins, she is about to find out that always taking care of everyone else comes with its own set of problems.
2017 F.R.O.G.S. Nominee- Best LGBTQA
I'm here for our review swap! yay!
So, I've been a fan of this story for a while so it's awesome that I've grabbed the opportunity to review it properly because I've really enjoyed what you've been doing with it so far. I think it's a really original plot line to explore.
So the best thing about this story is your OC, Lyra. I've been really impressed since the first chapter about her characterisation, you pretty much nail everything about her. she comes across with a really strong voice of her own which is really important for creating a believable and likeable character. it's something that you really pull off well. I think you've managed to even in 5 chapters make Lyra quite a layered character. I think one that you can relate to. So in this chapter, you did a really good job of exploring her thoughts and feelings about not going out. It was quite important for Lyra to refuse because she's normal always there as it's difficult thing for her to say no. it's complicated thought progress for her. It's really interesting internal battle that you've created for her and it feels raw and realistic.
I'm also enjoying Lyra being a career girl and stuff, I love interaction with her co-workers and her sarcastic comments and banter is also really well written. I'm a sucker for a cliffhanger and I loved the way you did it, obviously I want to know what happened with Rose! I don't know if it's going to have long lasting effects but I'm sure it's going to be really interesting to see Lyra's action as she wasn't there, I wonder if there will be elements of guilt here for Lyra so I think your storytelling and ending has got me hooked for another chapter! good job on this!
- Abbi xo
banner by abhorsen. @TDA
Daphne finds Astoria in an abandoned corridor just before the Death Eaters storm Hogwarts.
“He’s on the wrong side." She raised her wand. "And so are you, little sister.”
I love the concept for this one-shot, Astoria is a character with such a lot of scope to explore. I love how you wrote her, I thought your characterisation was really strong. I thought the beginning was really well thought out how and her inner conflict was really clear between the two things. I forget that Astoria would have been underage back then so it was even more of a battle.
you have some really cracking imagery in here and I just loved some of the lines that you used, my favourite has to be 'leaving now would be like closing a book just as you got to the best part'. I just thought that line was really good at explaining her feelings. I like how you linked it back to books with them being ravenclaws. I also enjoyed that you made her a ravenclaw too! I don't have any head-canon for Astoria really but I think her being a ravenclaw is the first piece for me!
again, your dialogue is awesome. There is so much tension in the last scene between the two sisters. The scene was really electric with emotion, the ending is kinda dark too! poor Astoria! what's going to happen next though?! I kinda like endings that make you think on you know? leave your readers wanting more is such a skill as a writer! I think you've left that scene a bit open ended as it's not quite clear who's on what side. I would assume that Astoria is with Harry?!
- Abbi xo
They had thought about this many times before but had always decided that she was too young to be able to take care of a pet, but now that Sophie had turned nine and finally realised that you actually have to be gentler with animals than with toys, they came to the conclusion that a crup would be perfect.
I thought this was the cutest piece ever, I love a bit of fluff and this certainly provided a feel good factor for me! I thought your characterisation was really impressive, I thought Sophie was just adorable and totally believable as a child like child can be difficult to write but she sounds just so much like my niece who is now seven. It seemed perfectly line up with what you would expect her to act like, I thought you could tell a lot about Sophie by this short one-shot like you really highlight what I see as her caring nature by how keen she is to care for her pet but also how she's impatient.
You've created a really nice family vibe between the parents and Sophie too! even little things like that terms of endearment that they use like dad calling her 'munchkin' is such a little touch but really creates that idea of the sort of relationship they have. it really adds to the fluffy feels of the piece! I really love the reference to Sirius with 'snuffles' OMG. <3
I wonder what give you inspiration for this little piece? it's gorgeous and I just feel like you've told a really nice story and done a really great job at making it so realistic! I'm not that familiar with your work as this is the first piece that I've read by you but I would love to pop back when I have time to read something. xo
... to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever." -- Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, ch. 17
So Kaitlin recommended this story to me probably because she knows how much I love fluff. This was really beautiful, I really enjoyed this. I was really impressed by your heart warm use of dialogue. It's both mournful but loving, it's a really great balance that you've created with that.
Your opening was lovely, the description was really good and you really managed to paint the scene well. I really felt for Harry here, I really love he came to tell his mother about James, it's such an important moment in his life and he wanted to share that. I think the concept for this fic is a really neat little concept, so simple yet you've packed it with so much raw emotion. You're obviously a very skilled writer.
I loved that Ginny also came to see her mother in law, I think it was really powerful that she talked to Lily about Harry's recovery and James' impact on him. She wanted Lily to know she was going to look after Harry. I thought this fic was really good at showing what a loving relationship Ginny and Harry have without them even interacting with each other. It seems like James is a very lucky little boy indeed! I'm so glad that I got to read this, I'll be back at some point in the future to check out more stuff! Fantastic job! xo
banner by abhorsen. @TDA
Could rock melt? He wasn't sure.
HPFT Ravenclaw SOTM: Best Comedy (April 2017) | HPFF Ravenclaw SOTM: Best Quote (August 2013)
So I really love the concept for this, it's interesting to read something with a bit of action in as it's outside my normal read material! I thought it was great that you used elements of real history and culture to tie with your story. that's really clever and cool. It sounds like you have knowledge of Spanish culture or maybe it's just good researching!
I've said this before in other reviews of yours but it always really stands out to me in your writing about how you're able to create relationships between your characters, you build up relationships and chemistry between your characters so quickly through your dialogue and thought processes. I thought Teddy and Jo made a great team and I would love to see more of their adventures together. I thought Jo was a really engaging and interesting OC, she's got buckets full of character from just this one-shot. so as always five stars for your characterisation/dialogue.
I thought your set up for this main action was really good, you introduce all your characters while naturally, the flow of the story was spot on. I really liked the last line of this, it was really funny. I love her <3
- Abbi xo
banner by Asphodelic at TDA
Winner of the 2018 FROGS award for best use of a major character!
Lily and Petunia were more than sisters; they were best friends.
And then, they weren't
A series of one shots about Lily and Perunia over the years.
Capture the Flag - Transfer from HPFF
So Petunia is a character that I have a soft spot for because I want to feel that's she misunderstood I guess.
I thought this was such a cute scene to the honest. I think you write little petunia so well, I think the line about talking not being allowed but it was noisy. it's really interesting the little moments that kids really pick up on and you've really captured that childish essence in petunia's character here. It's very natural for first child to be confused by a new arrival especially as we know what a complicated relationship they will have in the future. the groundwork for the rest of the story is really strong. this chapter just works so well as a taster of what's coming up in the story.
I think the moment that is rather heartbreaking thought for a child but probably quite realistic is 'Mummy loved Petunia again'. I guess children see things very black/white like that or maybe it's more a characteristic of petunia as a person. which ever it is, that line is pretty powerful I think. this chapter feels like fluff but the build up of petunia's feelings at the end changes the tone. I'm rather interested to see what your visions are for this story! xo
- Abbi xo
Hello dear, thank you so much for this review!
I'm the baby in my family, but I do think it would be difficult to adjust to a new sibling. I'm glad you felt the rumble of tension here, so to speak.
So I thought this seemed like an really interesting and unique concept for a story so clicking on it I didn't know what to expect you know? I love next gen so it's great to read a different plot line using the characters.
I love the way you set the scene with all this uncertain vibe and it all had an air of mystery. I thought that was really clever because I was totally hooked on this aspect of it. I already want the answers as to what led up to these events of the goblin's uprising! I hope we get to find out more about the backstory. you were only setting up the story with this chapter but I have a feeling for the tone that'll run through out the story which is one that I'm excited about.
I thought you did a great job at giving Riya a really clear voice within the story and a lot of her personality comes through in this first chapter. I loved the opening dialogue, it was funny and lightened the mood a bit. I thought the banter and the relationship that you've got between your two characters works so well, your writing of them has created a lot of (friendship) chemistry. I'm really excited to see where this is going and your plan for this! I will be reading on!
- Abbi xo
Lovely Banner by Enigma @ TDA
Albus Dumbledore is sorted at Hogwarts
So here I am to review this little one-shot. So I really enjoyed this story! I loved how you started it with the chatter of the other children, I've really created a buzz created by the sorting. I thought this scene was so effective because it shows the contrast between Dumbledore and other students like I love this concept that he was different from even a really early age. I always struggle with imagining a young Dumbledore but I really thought your depiction of him was great!
Omg, I have to say that I was really impressed with your sorting hat song. It was really creative that you managed to come up with it. I was honestly debating if it came from the books or not but it see you only used a couple of lines was amazing. I really enjoy this aspect to your writing, I feel that you have so much creative in your work. Your ablity to come up with plotlines and all those details are excellent. It's such a stregth of your which is why reading your stuff is such a pleasure.
Back to this story, I really like about how you've made him this very self aware character and older than his years. I thought the fact he asked to be in Gryffindor was really intereating because he doesn't feel brave. I can't imagine him being in any other house but slytherin does make sense a bit too.
The meeting was awesome as we know from canon they have been friends for a really long time. I just felt their exchange was really perfectly done and the fact that Dumbledore would see pass the surface with people at 11 years old. Great job with this piece!
- abbi xx
banner by Enigma @TDA
It's still only September, but Rose has already jinxed Scorpius Malfoy's hair and can't stop eavesdropping on his embarrassing conversations - about her. He can't figure out whether he'd rather hex her or kiss her.
Well, O.W.L. year was never going to be simple.
HPFF Ravenclaw Diadems: Most Original Cliche (2015); Ravenclaw SotM: SotM (April 2015) & SotM Best Characterization (April 2015); Gryffindor SotM: SotM (January 2012)
Capture The Flag - Transfer from HPFF
I'm back, chapter 26, woo!
I thought this chapter was nice to have a range of characters in it. I don't think I've met Damien before but I really enjoyed his characterisation especially with his jab about holly over her Scorpius questions, I thought they were amusing! could there be more drama along the road with Damien though? that'll be interesting because it seems like he's jealous but who knows?
ha ha, in your authors note I'm just thinking who wouldn't been jealous of Rose right now with the beautiful Scorpius as a kissing partner. I hope I'm not too weird talking about fictional characters like that. oh dear!
I noticed that in one of your other stories that James/Roxy are also close so is this part of your head canon? I love that you have so much head canon for this time period. I like that you have undertones/background story of James' epic chase for a girl. James is right, confidence is king! so I'll keep an eye out to see if he can really get the girl, from what I've seen it's a bit jamesI/lily-que. I do like storyline like that because I enjoy a bit of shadowing/nod to the past with them! xox
Capture The Flag - Transfer from HPFF
So, I'm really enjoying this chapter because we saw more scorpius, yay! I've decided from the first chapter that I just loved him so I'm happy to see him back. I love that he was wanting to know what rose said to albus because I think it shows that he really cares about his relationship with albus too which is nice as sometimes friendships aren't developed as much so it'll be nice to see more scorp/albus stuff.
Rose is just the cutest, she just repeating 'i got flustered' over and over. I hope her friendship with Albus will recover though, I guess I understand why he's annoyed? I have a feeling he'll come around. scorose are a bit adorable in this chapter though.
I'm interested in Noah but we haven't seen too much of him yet, well, I haven't since 3 chapters I've reviewed already anyway! he seems like a good guy again you're good at developing those friendships between characters too. I love the name Noah too. that's totally random but I do. ha ha.
you're talented at building those relationships between characters which makes the readers (me) really engage and invest. I really care about what's happening to them because of your writing skills. good job! :) xo
Capture the Flag - Transfer from HPFF
so there is the first time that I'm getting to read something by you! this is very exciting for me! So where to start with this? So I'm not much of scorose shipper but I really like the set up for this story here.
I think you've got a really good strong idea about who Rose is as a character. she seems quite strong and like scorpius a bit arrogant but I think she's really quite likeable anyway. I like that it's family trait that they don't like slytherins, it's only Albus who is different. my fave line is from Roxanne in this chapter 'maybe he's just a better person'. it's like they're a bit mean but they know it? idk but I liked it.
I really enjoyed the interaction between Rose and Scorpius because he is obviously going to be good for her because he's going to be challenging over every step of the way which is what a girl like Rose needs. I think I'm going to enjoy the banter between these two over the course of the story!
I think Scorpius is really good, I'm really loving the characterisation for him from the small amount we've seen from him. you've done a great job at creating instant chemistry between your two main characters! xx
The ancient and proud Malfoy family face ruin - unless Draco agrees to do the impossible.
So I loved this take on a missing moment from the books. I always thought this would be quite interesting scene to see it unfold. I thought the starting dialogue was really strong because the language and tone really fits in with the characters that we know (and love, maybe hate!)
Draco is often portrayed or considered to be coward/weak because of his decisions. I thought your story really showed that choice draco had to make between his family and what was right. You did show an internal struggle in Draco within this scene too. I thought Draco was really quite brave in this scene considering he wasn't really been given a choice. I think it's missing scenes like this which gives us a much better insight into draco was a character. I thought you wrote him well and his fear/confusion was really well done.
I thought it was really good and interesting that you've chosen to create this scene using mostly the dialogue. I'm a fan of showing things through speech/actions of the characters. Sometimes stuff can get a bit lost when people write it as inner monologue so I really thought the story telling technique worked really nicely. I thought you had a few really great lines in here, I think the last couple of lines really did a perfect job about summing up the scene in such a harrowing way. So much of what Harry Potter is about is that lose of innocence too soon for it's characters, Draco is one of the biggest victims of this. I thought this concept was masterfully addressed in this short piece. Great job <3
I wish I may, I wish I might, have the strength, to cut him out of my life.
Written for the HPFT Archive Grand Opening Drabble Challenge.
I covered this piece for you in my mini fic night but I thought I would come back and do a little write up for you!
So my favourite thing about your writing and it always gets me not just in your OF but in your fan fic too is the way that you really use the emotional. I think all of your writing feels really emotional like they just pour off the pages into the readers hearts and it really creates such an impact, this piece is a perfect example of what I'm talking about here.
this piece is obviously personal to you but it really rings true to a lot of different relationships and it's really relatable because a lot of people go through this type of relationship with loving someone so much but knowing they are bad. it's a difficult thing to let go of. You really do an wonderful job at keeping this piece so honest but not over dramatic too. you use some beautiful parallels between superman and harry potter into this OF piece which I really enjoyed!
you know from the fic how much I enjoyed this piece. You need to write more! keep going. thank you for sharing this with us!
- Abbi xo