I'm an older male writer, who has been active in the HP fanfiction world since 2010. I also like Jim Butcher, Garth Nix, P.C. Hodgell, Patrick Rothfuss, and much more.
A family Christmas lunch at the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.
I've read this before and almost reviewed it then, and I'm not sure why I didn't. So I'm going to review it no for our review swap. Going to start off by saying tha I quite like the younger Regulus and Sirius, and the way they aren't quite oblivious to what's happening around them with the breakup of the family and tensions, but that Regulus has a different objective, the opening of presents.
Andromeda's characterization as someone who's trying to reconnect rang very true to what we know aobut her from the books and Ted's defense of the confusion about his parents was terrific. I think this is very much how that meeting would have gone, with Bella being belligerent, Narcissa being happy to see her niece (but keeping her opinions about Ted quiet for at least a night), and Andromeda trying reconciliation.
What really drove this piece was the characterizations; you make them all believable and show their motivations through their actions and words.
I really enjoyed reading this (or re-reading this, really).
Hi, Pookha! Thank you for the swap! :)
I'm glad you liked Sirius and Regulus, I do love writing them as children. Why would Reg care about family drama when there are presents waiting for him under the Christmas tree? :P Glad you liked that, I thought it would be fun! :D
I'm glad you liked Andromeda trying to reconcile with her family and found her in character. And that you liked everyone else's characterization as well.
Thank you so much for the lovely review and for the swap, it's always so nice!
They had made it. Following the Battle of Hogwarts, the future they dared not hope for was laid out before them. Now they had to figure out what to do with it. It would not be easy. Nothing worth doing ever is. Lives are lived, lost and altered in this canon-compliant continuation fic. Multi-POV, canon ships, absolutely no bashing. (These guys are my friends!)
When I was validating your second chapter in the queue, I knew I had to come read the first chapter and I wasn't disappointed. This is a fantastic first chapter and you're a highly skilled author and it shows here. Your voice and the characters' voice are very well done, everyone is in character and your headcanons of what happened are great, even keeping with canon in the story.
Welcome to our archive and I hope to read more of your wonderful story as it comes through the queue.
Wow, thank you! It's such a compliment that you went back to read the first chapter. And I appreciate what you and your fellow validators do here. It can't be an easy job having to go through everything so thoroughly and analytically.
I'm very pleased you believed everyone to be in character, as that was my main concern as I wrote chapter one. I realized I had perhaps a bit more leeway than normal given the tremendous stress and grief that everyone is under, but I was hopeful that I could get everyone to be recognizably themselves. This was also the first time I've ever written from Arthur's POV, which was an additional challenge. But the whole fic will be challenging in that regard. As you've read, chapter two is McGonagall, which is another first for me, and then Kingsley in chapter three is currently proving a bit tricky to pin down, too. Oh well, I'll get there. Not like I write these because it's easy, eh?
So, thanks for the warm welcome, the hard work, and the great review. All are totally appreciated!
Stunning banner by accursed. @ TDA
WINNER - The Pride of Gryffindor Awards 2017 - Best Post-Hogwarts
Dobby 2017 Nominee - Best Minor Character
2nd Place - Frankie05's Dobby Challenge
A tale of death, love, and the bond that holds everyone together.
I like this kind of intro where it lets you know what's going to happen, but also keeps the suspense. I'm pretty sure I read and reviewed some of this on HPFF, but not 100%. I always like to see Harry and Ginny as adults, even geriatric ones.
I like that Harry knows when the time is and he knows that he's going to die soon and wants to have his children there.
I must say that I admire your writing style, it's spare, but has enough description to keep the reader focused. I have a hard time with description and emotion myself, so it's good to read a good example and learn from it (I mean I'm learning from your example, not the other way).
Psychopomp is a great word, btw. It's a guide through/to the after life and it's one of my favorite words. Psychopomp, just say it out loud a few times. Psychopomp. Psychopomp.
I know I read this on HPFF now; I remember this part of the story very clearly. Dobby is an excellent choice to guide Harry. His loyalty is unquestioned.
I must admit that Dobby's death and Granny Weatherwax's deaths are the two ficitonal deaths that hit me the hardest, ever. Fred, eh, Snape, eh, Dumbledore, eh; but when Dobby died, I cried. It's his fierce loyalty and friendship with nothing expected back, I think.
Anyway, you do a great job her with all the characterizations. I think everyone from DD to Molly to Sirius to Dobby himself is strictly IC and well-written. It's good to see that their personality extends to the afterlife and that they retain themselves.
You also have a gift for dialogue that sounds natural and that's difficult to pull off.
I still think Dobby's an excellent choice for Harry's guide and I'm looking forward to seeing what the tests will be for them. I must say that a bureaucracy seems more like Hell to me, but maybe the afterlife here is more like Hades...nah.
I'm still really enjoying the characterization in particular. I think you've captured Dobby's voice here and the minor characters add to the story with being distracting.
The weighing of the wands sounds a lot like the Egyptian belief of weighing the soul against a feather and if it weighed more, then to the soul-eater with you. As Neil Gaiman said in American Gods, 'It was a very heavy feather.'
Both Dobby and Harry are very clear here and their emotion pours off the page as they make their journey. I can feel the love they have for each other and that Harry has for his family of Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, and their children and nephews and nieces.
Nobody is as true as Dobby.
Children. Warriors. Heroes. Victims. Survivors.
Harry Potter and his friends struggle to move on with their lives after the Second Wizarding War.
This was beautiful and poignant. Extremely well-written. After validating it in the queue, I had to come and leave a review for it. The characters were all perfectly in character and the explorations of each of their personalities were terrific.
The PTSD scene with Harry in the shower hit me hard, as most of the characters of who had battled would be suffering to some extent, but with the way Harry feels everyone's death is his fault, he would be hit hard.
I really also like the scene with Kreacher wanting to go home. I can see him wanting to return to Grimmauld Place and just get on with his life. Kreacher's redemption from simple kindness gets so often overlooked and it's good to see Harry still wanting to do right by him.
Hi! It's always an honor to get a review from the person who just validated your chapter. I know how much work it is to stay on top of the queue, so it means a lot that you would stop and take time to do this.
I read a lot of post-war stories. They're my favorite genre of HP fan fiction. The thing that bothers me most is a story where the characters seem to jump right back into normal life after the battle. I believe that the physical, psychological and emotional scars sustained by all of the characters during the war would have taken a long time to overcome. Or even just learn to deal with, for that matter. I don't want there to be anything quick or easy about this story.
I love Kreacher as a character, both his acidic personality and what he represents. I definitely wanted him to have a meaningful role in this story.
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to stop and review. I really appreciate it!
beautiful banner by milominderbinder@tda!
There was a small thud as Albus Potter walked into the table, and Scorpius looked up when the boy started chuckling. "Sorry, wasn't watching where I was going."
Scorpius opened his mouth, completely at a loss for words.
(rated m for profanity)
Why does this story have no reviews. I've got to jump out of the queue and start it off. Having read most of the rest of this, I can see where it's going from here and you do a great job here making sure we know and understand the characters from your brilliant characterization. I can understand Scorpius's pain and indecision, and you also do a great job showing the hate (mild displeasure maybe instead?) to love.
I did not validate this chapter, so it's new to me. I really like the backstory here and it helps to make what's going on in the later chapters really clear. I said it in my first review, but your characterizations of Albus and Scorpius really shine through here and it gives the story a truthfulness (verisimilitude) that makes the story feel real and genuine. You can understand the motivations of both the main characters.
Your style is great, it has enough description to make the scene clear, but not to much to make it flowery. Your dialogue feels like people talking, which is hard to do. It's not stilted or awkward (unless it's meant to be awkward, and then it is, appropriately).
This is one of my new favorite stories.
You've probably heard or read somewhere that no one knows what a Boggart looks like. Well, that's not entirely true.
First place in Freda&Georgina's Creative Creatures Challenge.
Written for 1917farmgirl's The Harry Potter Children’s Story Challenge.
FROGS 2017 Nomination - Best Original Character
Pookha here with your review from the review swap. This is a really cute tale of what makes someone who they are and whether it's nature/nurture that makes a difference.
Brian, raised to be a boggart by nature, overcomes his basic nature to bond with Shirley, seeing somehow that's she's not deserving of just being scared by him. He also overcomes his fear of her, as she seems to be first human he's met.
Shirley overcomes her Squibness and her fear to bond with Brian the Boggart. It's also interesting that this could be read straight up as a fairy tale, with a traditional ending, but you could also read into it that Brian was her imaginary friend and she retreated into her own mind in an effort to get away from her father.
There are a few strange word choices here and there, I'm sure due to English being a second (or third, or more) language; but none of them are egregious or distract from the story or the flow.
I remember reading this in the queue and thinking that I should have commented on it then, so here belatedly. :)
Hi again, Pookha! And thank you for another great swap! :D
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story, I wanted to show that everyone can follow their path and find a place where they truly belong, despite their origins and what's expected from them.
I must confess, I had never thought of the imaginary friend interpretation, but I love it! Such a fascinating take!
I will give this another read and see if I can fix something, I'm glad it didn't distract from the story, though.
Thank you for the lovely review!
Sometimes thigs don't work how you would expect...
Written for 2015 House Cup on HPFF
I quite enjoyed this short story and it shows the differences between the boys quite clearly. It also shows how different Lily is from the boys, with their vivid imaginations and desire to avoid punishment for their crime of getting dirty.
I also quite like Harry just taking it in stride. He remembers what it was like to be a little boy and I think wishes that he could have had a more normal childhood like his kids are having.
The flobberworm race also rings true for anyone who's caught an animal and tried to make it race with another. Untrained animals do what animals do, usually, and you did a great job showing that.
I also enjoy Teddy and Victoire arguing in the background.
Hi, Pookha! I'm taking some time today to reply reviews. :D
I'm happy you decided to read this, it's a piece that I wrote very quickly for the House Cup on HPFF but it's nice to receive some feedback on it. :)
I don't write next-gen often, but I do think the Potter siblings are a funny bunch. I'm happy you enjoyed their characterization, even in this little piece alone! :) Ahahah! They do have quite a vivid imagination! :P
Okay... I'm not exactly sure what "taking it in stride" means... *couch* but I'm so happy you liked Harry, too.
I remember that my friends and I used to do this with snails when we were little, and it didn't quite work, eheheh! :P
Glad you also enjoyed Teddy and Victorie! :D
Thank you for the sweet review!
"Welcome," the man said softly, rising to his feet. "Wasn't I just..." Fred gulped, unable to stop his thoughts from tumbling out into words, no matter how terrifying they were. "Didn't I just die?"
Banner by Apocalyspe @TDA.
I really enjoyed this.
BTW, one of my favourite words is psychopomp. Psychopomp. Psychopomp.
I could really picture Fred being a scourge on Heaven (or Hell for that matter) and being trouble enough that they send him back. This was terrific.
This gave me a huge grin!! Thank you so much for taking the time to review even after validating it! And I'm glad you taught me what a psychopomp is! It's a great word!
I had a lot of fun writing this and it's fun for me to be able to unburry it from the colab it got stuck in and claim it on my own author's page. And yes, Fred would NEVER go quietly would he.
King George III has a rather eventful day when he's cursed. By magicians. Several years later, a dragon lands in his garden...
Co-Written by Phoenix Potioneer and Pixileanin for the HPFT Fic Feud Competition.
I suspect he'll try to remind us of his love. Great use of the crossover plot point. This was really good.
Yeah, I suspect that King George will try to remind the U.S. of his love, or more the lack of it. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and thanks for reviewing!