OH MY LANTA THIS FLASHBACK IS ONE OF THE MOMENTS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!
Oh that's so, so SAD, B! Poor unexpecting Noah! Was the large, black bird sent by her parents? It had to be awfully big to cause him to veer off like that (unless he was extra startled). I feel so bad! :( Oh, my feels. Hero has obviously blamed herself for this from the start, but now I'm really seeing the extent of as to why (not that it was truly her fault, but I can now see her reasoning behind it). In all my dreams I drown. This is awful, poor Hero! I can see the symbolism behind it, too -- she is in a constant state of drowning (between trying to deal with what happened to Noah, trying to appease her parents, the O.W.L.s and school, dealing with Theo and Emory, all terrible and mysterious events that have been happening since the beginning of the year, her stupid brother, etc.) so it makes sense that she'd drown in her dreams, too.
It's almost like the only solid thing she has right now is...
Lol. Mo and Ro. It's fantastic. Ahh, okay--Morgan's on the Quidditch team and blushes like a madman when in proximity to Hero. ;) Sure, she THINKS coffee and Quidditch talk is harmless but it seems to me that Morgan has a little bit of a crush, don't you think? (Haha, leave it to me to make assumptions off of the smallest things :P .) And yeaaaaaaaah, there's no question as to which group of Slytherin stole that poor kid's gobstones! What are we going to do with that Finn (aside from locking him in a room with the Basilisk)?
Ahh, so I take it that Theo and Emory have either broken up or are currently fighting. That might put a bit of strain on the friendship (not that there wasn't any before, but Emory was blissfully unaware of it). And wow, Finn! Another blow (though he almost admitted that it wasn't Hero's fault). I do wonder if someone had done something to the lock to make it so he couldn't get out! I was all at once thrilled to see Tom go to comfort her, but I should have expected that he would say something like that/show his true colors at some point. I wonder how he's going to react to having Hero angry with him.
ALSO! Had Noah and his late family been attacked by Tom? Is THAT what happened in Noah's past that had landed him in the hospital!? OH MY GOODNESS!
Poor Hero :( . She has a lot to deal with. I also like the inclusion of the war happening around the same time as the first wizarding war, that's a fact that I think is often excluded in a lot of FWW era stories I read...most of them, in fact. It's understandable that trying to bring up the topic of why Tom wanted the Dark Arts book would be a difficult subject, and now that she has kind of seen what his beliefs are, I can understand not really wanting to know. I wonder what exactly she asked her parents in the letter and what they'll say about it! Also, poor Emory has just been left in the dust! That's a best friend foul on Hero's part, but she's really distracted with everything that has been happening.
Soooo -- was that black bird mentioned in the flashback...did that have anything to do with Tom's owl? Did Tom kill Noah?! It would make sense that if Tom had targeted his family previously that he might return to finish off Noah. Ooooh, so Hero's getting some more clues about what is causing all of the petrifications! I wonder if she'll figure that it is a Basilisk by the end of the story! It must be becoming even more frightening for the students now that a second person had been attacked.
I wonder if now that Hero is wary of Tom that she will be giving Morgan a chance? Though, from the way she'd referred to him previously as "it's only Morgan", she might not be feeling the same sorts of things that he is. Also, the encounter with the Basilisk feels like it's drawing ever nearer!
Very exciting stuff is coming! You certainly have a knack for building up suspense!
"I saw nothing wicked, but I did see Tom" It's so strange to read from a perspective where Tom Riddle is not perceived as evil through sheer naivety. It's a beautiful brand-new perspective that I can't seem to get enough of and at the same time want to shake Hero and tell her all about what is to come. It's also partially why I'm falling in love with Tom's character and beginning to mildly ship Hero and Tom while at the same time telling myself NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! (And that becomes more apparent when Hero goes and gets all blushy when he winks at her.)
But Theo...sorry, brother, you don't get to be put-off by the Tom-Hero ship. Theo's repulsion card has been revoked for acting like a complete [well, you know] in previous chapters. Besides, I would think that a helpful piece of advice on homework (despite who it comes from, so long as it's a credible source) should be something that's happily accepted. He's just being jealous and it is NOT a pretty color on Mr. Theo ;) .
I love the rumors circling around after the girl was petrified. The idea that a Durmstrang student could walk into Hogwarts and start hitting the place up with dark magic is the amazing kind of absurd theories that I can totally see a high school age student coming up with. Heheh, and I like how Hero countered with "the smile" to further antagonize Theo (because, you have to admit, he kinda had it coming).
Oh good lord, what are Finn and the Slytherin boys up to now? It's totally understandable that Hero would be concerned over why her brother had brought a book of extremely dark arts from their family home to school (to give to Tom, no less, who really hasn't revealed himself as who he truly is to her) especially with what's been happening recently. Slytherins here are characteristically ominous and foreboding and I can't decide if they're up to something or if you're just trying to throw me off!
Oh yeah, I can imagine that hearing something large and ominous moving behind the walls (and in the pipes) would be terrifying (especially to the younger students and given everything that has been happening lately). Little do they know that it's a terrifying Basilisk (assumptions, but tell me I'm not dead on!) slithering its way around the castle. OH MY GOD. FINN IS SUCH A JERKFACE, FOR SERIOUS! That was terrifying--I thought something bad was going to happen to Hero, like someone had left the dead roosters there as a trap or something but it's just Finn and Co. being gigantic jerkfaces. I hope she raps him upside the head with something hard.
WOW! FINN! I can't--ugh, I can't even with him right now. He and Theo can go lock themselves down with the Basilisk. Take Finn's friends with them. Probably a good idea for Tom to go, too. I can't. Ergh. Finn.
OOOOOOHHH! So she and Theo had more than just a one-time thing after a party! No wonder he's been trying so hard to get back with her. I mean, he's still being an ass and I'm still quite annoyed with him, especially because he's doing all of this while Emory is just trying to love him, but I don't think we have to sentence him to the Basilisk just yet (but he's on thin ice, I'll tell you.)
MORE PUZZLE PIECES! So, context clues and inferences point me to believe that Noah was driving Hero around in a car (no idea what they were doing yet, probably just hanging out or something), when Hero suggested they cross a certain bridge. The bridge, perhaps, was not meant to take the weight of cars or was incredibly old and the bottom had rotted through. At any rate, I assume the car then fell through the bridge (or off the bridge, somehow) and sank into the river (or other body of water) below. Which is why the bursting of the pipes and the sudden infux of water sent Hero into flashback town. I assume then that Hero was somehow able to get out of the car but Noah was not so lucky and then drown. :( That's sad, B!
Also--who is Morgan? Have I missed something? I think, clearly, that I must have.
Tom and Hero studying. I freaking love it. And I hate it. (What in the world have you done to my feels?? Stop that!) And OH SNAP Finlay is in trouble now! She inadvertently tattled on him to the one person she probably shouldn't have tattled to. And that tension, B! Wow! It's almost as if Tom Riddle is falling for Hero just as much as Hero is falling for Tom Riddle! Which is a a new spin on things, too! Is Tom actually capable of love at this point? That would be so interesting if he was! She's clearly affecting him as he's affecting her and he's clearly concerned about that bruise.
Ohhh, so Noah was also an orphan I take it! Also, THAT CHEECK KISS, THOUGH! Wait, first, Tom's near-sociopathic qualities as he's interacting with Hero (and others) is SO WELL DONE, B! How did you manage to Tom Riddle so well in this? HOW? Okay, so--that cheek kiss, though! Dang, things are getting spicer each time the two interact!
I'm so in love with this fic -- you have NO IDEA!
I'm beyond excited for this chapter!
"Forgiveness depends on your O.W.L. results." I cannot stand Hero's parents. They're just awful creatures. And Finlay--FINLAY! With the rooster calls! Oh my goodness, that's just rude. The poor roosters. You don't suppose he had anything to do with it? So, yeah, that's really strange that nobody saw or heard anything in the proximity of the murdered roosters, which means they were silent (and nobody was around, because of the evidence of not having footprints). The Imperious Curse keeps replaying itself over and over in the back of my mind and the only thing I can think of was that Tom Riddle was practising the Imperius Curse on those poor roosters (am I right? am I wrong? I'll have to wait to find out).
Also, I feel so bad for poor Emory. All she wanted to do was hold her boyfriend's hand but Theo had to go and be a complete (well, my choice of words for describing him in the moment breaches the rating protocol for reviews, but you know what I'm implying). The way he looks at Hero and the way he keeps pulling away from Emory, I'm assuming that he's got the hots for our Hero. Why would he then date Emory if he has the hots for Hero?! That boy baffles me and it's really starting to affect poor Emory.
Heh, I can totally imagine that running into Hagrid in a dark corridor could jumpscare an unexpecting person. Soooo the pieces are slowly coming together, something to do with Theo and Hero got together after a party...and Hero told Noah to go over a bridge that ultimately led to his demise (so it WAS a drowning, yeah? no? ...yeah? TELL ME!). Puzzle pieces (and I love the way that things are ever so slowly unravelling one by one) are starting to line up!
THEO! No! That 'L' word! As if Hero didn't have enough to worry about already! And she's very confused about her feelings, especially concerning herself with what her parents want to make them happy. Theo is not going to make this any easier on her, is he? And he's being awfully pushy about it.
Tom Riddle to the rescue! Again? Wow, these two times I've said that have been the first two times I've ever said that in my entire life. Interesting how Tom keeps popping up when Hero is in need of a little assistance. I'm so cynical, I truly believe that he's up to something, popping in like this when he's most "needed". Though, I have to admit, I might be falling in love with his character more than a little bit. So, he's 'looking out' for Hero, is he? And Theo thinks that Tom and Hero are together! I'm in such a state of suspense as to what has happened and what will happen!
THE CHAMBER HAS BEEN OPENED! THE CHAMBER HAS BEEN OPENED! OHMY WORD--HIDE YO KIDS AND HIDE YO WIVES, IT'S THE BASILISK!
Ahhh, and with Hero having seen Hagrid in that very corridor not too long before then, the evidence is beginning to stack up against him. And Tom's name is cleared because he was 'with' Hero and Theo while this was happening! So perhaps it was just a coincidence that Tom was around to save Hero...was up to his little games and such when he heard the commotion between Hero and Theo? Maybe? Well, reading forward tells me that he was actually returning something to her but you can't say that my assumptions are unjustified :P.
"I'll give you a head start and stalk you there." Oh my lord, I am SO in love with your Tom Riddle. I can't even handle him. I'm still vigilantly suspicious of him, though, because he is, however Tom Riddle. Serves Theo right, too. I sense an even larger tension in the Theo, Emory, Hero trio than there already is!
Oh my goodness -- this school year is going to be a rough ride for our Hero, isn't it? Oh yes, I can see it now!
THEO! Keep your eyes on your girlfriend! Goodness, gracious--what are we going to do with that boy, B? Hero has so very much on her plate between her family's terrible secrets and darkness, her schoolwork, whatever it is that happened over the summer that's tormenting her that having to deal with the guilt that comes with whatever romantic encounter she and Theo shared before he and Emory began dating and having to keep such a monumental secret from her friend must be killer her! Not to mention the fact that Emory is so trusting of the two of them (especially together) and, why wouldn't she be, they're all friends.
Sigh. It makes sense that Hero wouldn't want to be hanging around Theo alone at night. Whatever conversation there is to be had there is best to be avoided.
I'm really interested in hearing about what happened to Noah and I'm assuming that it largely has to do with what happened over the summer. I get the sneaking suspicion that Noah had been killed. I'm curious to know if he and Hero were just really close friends or if there was something more going on (given her reaction to Tom's question about if her boyfriend had died, though I might be reading a little too much into it). Also, it sounds like he'd been frequenting doctors, so I wonder if he had some sort of pre-existing condition that had been the cause of his death, perhaps triggered by something else that Hero is blaming herself for. OR if it had anything to do with the mastilio spider, as that seemed to be a heavy topic of conversation and an usual fear for Hero to have (to fear one particular spider out of all of the things in the crazy magical world that could possibly kill someone). OR maybe that was just some awesomely written foreshadowing. Who can say?
But let's talk about that spider! I detest those little creepy-crawlies, you know? So I would have probably acted in a similar manner...and I totally understand the flailing/falling to the floor, breaking things in order to avoid the spider (especially if she's wary of a mortally poisonous spider particularly)! Not to worry though -- Tom Riddle to the rescue (said no one ever)!
I absolutely love the way you portray Tom, by the way. He's so charming in an intimidating sort of way and I find it completely true to how I think he'd be at that age. It also appears that he's taken a bit of an interest in Hero and I'm curious to see if he has an ulterior motive (because, heck, I'm a cynic) or if he genuinely likes Hero as a reason to help her with her essay. I mean, she is a pureblood and he is friends (er, friends, acquaintances, fearsome leader?) with her brother so he might just be helping her for that reason. Also, the brush of the hair--why am I shipping this? What are you doing to me? Stop that!
Also, I know I haven' had a chance to mention it yet, but I'm really digging this whole Shakespeare thing with Emory (I'm a sucker for some Shakespeare) and I LOVE that it's sorta rubbing off on Hero by association.
The scene at Ogg's vegetable patch is gruesome and I don't blame the two first years for being freaked out beyond belief. Whoever could do that do a bunch of roosters has something seriously wrong with them and YES my very first assumption is absolutely that this had EVERYTHING to do with Tom.
This was absolutely spectacular -- I can't wait for more!
I am your Secret Cupid, this I must proclaim. I'm so happy, happy, happy you must play my foolish game. Answer, answer, answer me, you awesome dragon dame. Tell me, tell me, tell me what's my name?
I immediately feel so bad for Hero and it's amazing that you can do that to me right from the beginning. It must be difficult for her to be looked down upon by her family because of what House she was sorted in, especially when her brother is getting so much of their parent's affections. (Though, as a side-note, I think it's absolutely amazing that she counts seconds in Gryffindors and not Mississippis.)
I'm also left wondering what exactly Hero did that caused so much turmoil for her with her parents over the summer, who is this 'blood traitor boy', and who are Emory and Theo! I suppose all those answers will be unveiled as I continue reading, though. And HAD someone died? Is that what Finlay was referring to when he said, 'too soon'? More secrets? Which secrets?! Oh, please, do tell me!
That must be one heck of a deceptive smile! The Blishwick family doesn't seem like they're made up of very nice people, aside from Hero, possibly, which is absolutely fitting for a Pureblood family of the time. Now, what exactly did her mother say was an accident and what about the police?! It sounds downright terrifying to be a Blishwick.
Ahh, I see, so Theo is this blood traitor boy who Hero is banned from speaking to (also, the boyfriend of Emory, who, from context clues, I'm making a firm assessment is the best friend). Oh snap, did Hero have a thing with her bestie's boyfriend (who, I suppose, is also Hero's friend)? Naughty Hero
Woah, it's Tom Riddle! And Finn brought him home with him?! I was right, it IS terrifying to be a Blishwick. Poor Hero. And who is Noah? Oh my goodness, is that who died? Wait one second--Hero made out with a Muggle and then killed him? What is happening! And Finn is kinda terrifying, to be honest.
This is amazing--it's left me confused and in wonderment in the most amazing ways!
Hi, Bianca! I wanted to review something of yours, to thank you for leaving such lovely reviews on my stories and for being an overall wonderful person. And since I've heard so much about this story (congrats on becoming a F.R.O.G.S. finalist!), I'm super excited to start reading it!
Just the summary alone had me unbelievably hyped for this story. I read the summary and scanned the tags, and that just made me ten times more ready to start reading. So here we go!
Okay, so from the outset, it's fairly clear that Hero's the outcast of her family. (I presume they're all pureblooded Slytherins, what with that whole "blood traitor" business and all.) And she comes back from a fairly horrible summer. All the little bits and pieces that you provided in this chapter were so tantalizing; I kept eagerly reading each part only to find that I wouldn't be spoonfed all the information at once. :P
Basically what I've gathered so far is, Hero had sex with Theo (a blood traitor) one night, and now her parents are forcing her to stay away from him. Though I wonder what Emory has to do with all this? And also, at some point during the summer, Hero...killed a Muggle boy? I hope Finn was joking about that, because murder is, uh, not good. Judging from his weird little jokes -- "Who died?" and "Too soon?" -- it probably happened.
(Finn sounds like a horrible brother, goodness.)
Hero is so young right now. She's just a young teenager, barely out of the kid stage, and she's already witnessed (and done) some traumatic things in her life. Not knowing the full story is stressing me out, ahh.
And I wonder how Tom Riddle fits into all of this? I'm so curious to see how you'll explore that relationship, because nothing good can possibly come out of being with someone like Voldemort.
I really, really liked this introduction chapter! It was so interesting and engaging and just the right amount of stressful, haha. I'll try my best to pop in periodically and review the following chapters! <3
OH MY GOD. BIANCA.
[If you aren't Bianca and you're reading this for some reason, beware of spoilers. Like, serious spoilers.]
OH MY GOD
I knew she died, but I never imagined it would be the spider that killed her after all that!!! I mean, it wasn't really the spider, but still. That was GENIUS!
So, I'm going to leave only one review because honestly I can never get through things if I try to review every chapter. *is the worst*
There are a lot of things to love about this fic.
Things I love:
- The building layers of complexity as the fic goes on. It starts off seeming like a fairly surface level exploration of the year's events, but then you add in more and more aspects of the situation until you've really managed to include a lot of completity and context. I loved that Emory got the Muggle newspaper because of the "Muggle war," and that you included the influence of that on her life. I Loved that Tom's gang built up until Grindlewald's followers were there. And Tom's coercion of Hero. The thing with the chocolate was SO smart! Poor Hero being manipulated like that for so long. I wonder if that means Finn is also being controled that way? Seriously, there's so much depth to the scenarios here and it's gripping to unravel that as you reveal more and more of your hand.
- SEBASTIAN. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, B? How could you hurt that little boy? I didn't see that twist coming at all. I think it was really smart because it showed how much of a farce the idea of blood purity is. Not to mention, I think it shock Hero and and Finn enough to help then sort through that (complete lack of) morality of Tom's agenda. Hero failed to change any outcomes, but I hold out hope than Finn will somehow be more successful
- I thought all the side characters were really charismatic. I found Theo fun to read, even though in theory he's actually a total jerk. And Emory was a nice contrast to Hero. Morgan. Aw, bless him. What a sweet guy. He deserves better.
- The connection with the orphanage was interesting and a brilliant idea. I figured it out pretty early on, so i was really excited to see how that unfolded for Hero. Much dramatic irony.
- The death scene was done really well. That seems like a hard thing to write, especially with a first person narrator
- I both loved and hated the scne where Tom imperiused Brindley. It was horrible to think of, but such an important moment for Finn. And it made me so excited to read the sequel, I can't even tell you.
- the foreshadowing in this is SPOT ON. Teach me your ways, oh brilliant one
- Hero. She's quite a piece of work! :P I think learning about the drugged chocolate changes my perception of her pretty significantly. Sometimes I would think, "how can you just go along with tom like that?? three hours ago you hated him for being a blood purist!" But now I have a super legitimate answer to that question, which is intriguing and makes me interesting in thinking abou ther more thoroughly. One thing is, I think she's probably a person who could be strongly inflienced by her peers, and if she had been sorted in slytherin, i think she'd be very different. I wonder if you agree with that, or if you think I'm being too hard of her? Granted, she's also very stubborn, so maybe I'm wrong. Her best trait is being unpredictable by nature - that's a great MC trait because it lets you do all kinds of things without breaking character. It makes her super fun to read. :)
- On a slightly different note, one thing I liked about reading this was that, although it's a fantastic fic, truly, I can also see that your writing has improved since you wrote this. One thing I specifically noticed was how you dealt with pacing and transitions. It was sometimes just a hair abrupt in this, and I think your more recent things have smoother transitions. So that's a really cool development.
I'm SO HAPPY I finally read this, and I'm very sorry it took me AGES to do so. It was worth the wait, though, I promise you!
Much love to the world's next best-selling fantasy author!
Honestly. I don't even know how to react to this. The first time that I read this, I had an inkling that this was going to be the ending, but reading it all and growing to love Hero through this story has made this such a horrible and upsetting ending.
I mean, who does that? Who goes around killing their main characters? I CAN'T TRUST YOU ANY MORE!
This was such a wonderfully written, powerful ending. I loved the way that you built up to the most dramatic ending that you could possibly have to this story.
The fact that Tom has been dosing Hero up with Lovage in his chocolate throughout the year is awful - I never even picked up on it, but it makes me love Hero more. It's been so frustrating to read this and see her falling for his charm and manipulation, but to know that she's been more susceptible to it because of the Befuddlement Draught is so upsetting. I feel sorry for her and less frustrated now, but it's even more heartbreaking to know the way that this ends.
And Tom. You've written him brilliantly throughout this story and this final chapter is no exception. He's so cold, cruel, manipulative and arrogant - I don't even know how to react to him except to want to run away screaming, to be honest.
The ending was so sudden and final, and I'm so heartbroken for Hero (and Finn). This was a brilliant story and I loved reading it <3
Ah, the flashback at the beginning of this chapter was so lovely - it was really nice (if it was kind of bittersweet) to see Hero meeting Noah for the first time. Taking us right back to the start of everything when we get to find out what actually happened in this chapter was such a good idea, and it shaped this chapter really neatly.
Ooh, we get another glimpse of Hero's parents here - it's fascinating to see them from Hero's perspective, because I think she's more used to feeling like she's a disappointment to her parents. This is really the start of it all, too; the Besmurten arriving at Blishwick Manor and Grindelwald's grip on the family tightening.
I think my favourite thing about this chapter was the way that you slowly unravelled the mystery of what happened to Noah - when Hero slowly found out his real identity and got to speak to Amy and other people that know what happened in reality. Tom was just so chilling and controlling when they saw Amy, and I wasn't sure that Hero was going to go through with it and find out what actually happened, but I'm glad that she did. It made me really proud of her.
I'm so, so glad that Hero finally knows that Tom is the bad guy - that he's responsible for so many of the things that have happened, and that he could have even killed Hero if she hadn't managed to escape from that car. It's been so frustrating watching her fall for his charm and fall into all the traps that he's laid for her, but I'm even more worried to read the next chapter...
So apparently I didn't finish reviewing this story. Here to correct that now. And coming back to this story is reminding me how much I love it <3
Hero :( I don't know, reading her again makes me kind of sad, to be honest. It's a bit frustrating to read her and know how this is going to end. Anyway.
Even though Finn and Hero don't always have the best relationship during this story, I think there's a strong bond there that neither of them necessarily acknowledge openly, but that comes out at different times and the opening scene was one of those.
I kind of forget how creepy and manipulative Tom is when I haven't read him for a little while. It's really interesting seeing him from Hero's perspective compared to Finn's because the dynamic is so different - I think we got a reminder here of how manipulative and controlling he is and it's chilling every time.
Who told Emory?? Ah, you wrote her hurt so well here.
I think Hero is gradually getting glimpses of what Tom is really like, and maybe seeing him from a different perspective at times - like when he encourages her to show her power and live up to her family name just because someone did something she didn't like. I just wish it was going to be enough...
“As I stepped into the Great Hall with Tom...” Wait. WHAT?!? Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Have I missed something here?? Hero what are you doing?!?! Didn't we just establish in the last chapter that he was no good? Weren't they, like, no longer on speaking terms with one another because Tom had said that it basically didn't matter that Noah was dead because he was, quote, “just a Muggle.” I mean, was okay with this arrangement, lol! And now she's just casually strolling into the Great Hall with him. HAVE I MISSED SOMETHING??? This girl!!!
Bianca!!! I am so incredibly sorry that it has taken me sooo long to get here. This month has been CRAZY!!! I really did not mean to keep you waiting for so long with this review. I really have been trying to get back to this wonderful story of yours ASAP though, because you left it off on such a suspenseful moment the last time, lol!
I really liked this chapter a lot, despite the fact that Hero seems to be ignoring all of my warnings, haha! Can't say that I blame her though. That Tom Riddle is just so dang charming. Gah!! What does he want with her? Seriously?? He obviously has had some ulterior motive behind getting close to the Blishwicks since day one, and I am dying to know what that reason is!! I also still cannot shake the feeling that he had something to do with Noah. Especially not after Hero's realization about Tom's black owl looking so similar to a raven. There are just too many coincidences at this point, and I cannot believe she hasn't put the pieces together yet.
And, in spite of everything, I am loving your characterization of this young Tom Riddle. It is EXACTLY how I would have imagined him to be at this age; so manipulative and poised. He clearly know how to get what he wants, and he even know who he can manipulate and who he cant; like Dumbledore for instance. I really loved that little moment between the two of them, btw. You have clearly thought of everything in this story!! And your characterization of Slughorn was absolutely brilliant too! I cannot wait to see what transpires at this little Halloween Party of his!!
Aww, Morgan is so cute, and I love how they even have little nicknames for each other!! I almost forgot that Hero played Quidditch too, lol! Will we be seeing more Quidditch scenes soon? I hope s..o. Also, she needs to spend more time with Emory. She seems so sad lately, and I think that Hero needs to open up to her friends a little more before it's too late!!
Oh, that ending scene was soooo creepy!!! I LOVED it so much though, haha!! Look at Mr. young Tom Riddle, doing wandless magic in his 5th Year at Hogwarts!! Why am I not surprised? And NOW she is starting to see again how dangerous he is. Run, girl, RUN!!! Lol!! I really quite enjoyed the underlining tone of danger that you weaved all throughout this chapter. From the beginning, when he first told her that she was dangerous, through the end with this big reveal of just how powerful he is becoming now. There are so many forces working beyond her control, and it's so interesting to read and watch fate at work like this. I am SO addicted to this story, B!! You don't even know, lol!! =D
As always, I cannot wait to see what happens next!! See you in the next chapter!! I will get there as soon as I can, love!! ♥♥♥
Hey B!!! OMGosh, I am so incredibly sorry for how unforgivably long it has taken me to get back to this story!! *hides* But hey, I am trying to be more active, and so the first chance I got I came straight here to this story!! And I saw that it was your Prefect anniversary today too, so what better way to say THANK YOU for everything that you have done for us over the last year, than to stop by here and leave you a super fabulous review on this AMAZING story of yours?!?! Plus I still owe you several from our on-going swap too, so here I am!! ;)
Boy have I missed this story!! Right away, you have reminded me of why I fell in love with it so much though, and I am captured by the magic of this fic all over again! I mean, it’s been what… 3 months now?? But I was able to jump right back in and pick up like it was yesterday, haha!! Already I am so happy that we are getting more and more details on the Noah mystery. But OMGosh, the more I learn about what happened to her friend, the more I feel so bad for her!! I’ve already been suspicious for a while that there may be some connection between Noah and Tom via the Orphanage, and now there’s this new information about his door being locked; which leaves me to wonder if perhaps maybe her family was involved somehow? Like, maybe the locks on the door were forced shut with magic?? Could Noah have been murdered by someone in Hero’s family? OMG or maybe it was even Tom?!? I would certainly hope not! But it does seem very suspicious, with Finn just knowing about the door being locked like that…Fin is friends with Tom, and their parents were always against her hanging out with a Muggle from the start. So perhaps they devised a plan to get rid of him? OMG!! That’s just so horrible – I can’t even think about it anymore right now!!! I think that’s enough theorizing for me for one day, lol!! XD
Yet again, I love the sibling banter between Hero and Finn. You seriously write their interactions SO WELL!!! I just love to hate that boy, lol! He is such a git. And Hero’s reaction was about the same as mine was, I think, when she ran outta the classroom after finding out about the car doors. Like, whoa!! And of course Tom-pretty-boy-Riddle is following her, the stalker!! When is she going to wake up and see him for the monster that he really is?!? Surely he cannot keep up this innocent act forever. A nice girl like Hero deserves someone better than Future-Lord-Voldemort!!! When Finn asked her if they were dating now, I seriously wanted to vomit, haha!! Wait a minute… What was up with that flashback?!? OMG!! Was Noah referring to Tom?? Was he one of the kids Tom took into the caves?!? Have my suspicions been confirmed after all?!?! What if that’s the real reason he’s been following her around all of this time; just to see if she knows anything about his connection to Noah?? OMG!! She has GOT to get away from him!! Run, Hero, run!!!
AND THERE IT IS!!!! OMGosh!!! YASSSS!!!!!
Okay, so maybe that was a little bit rude. Poor Hero is obviously going through a lot right now. I know she’s upset, but this is really for the best; she’ll see, lol! I for one am overjoyed right now that Tom FINALLY showed his true colors to her!!! That was so perfect, OMG!!! I think that was my favorite moment of this whole thing so far, haha!! And her reaction was perfect. In your face, Tom!! And the plot is thickening with all the Chamber of Secrets and Basilisk information that’s slowly being revealed. I really like how well all of this is developing, Bianca. Your pacing/flow is incredible!! Also, I know I’ve commented on this before, but I really like all of the original name ideas you’ve come up with all throughout this story. In this chapter, the names that stood out to me were Briony and Scout. Their family is certainly unique, haha!!Even their owl’s name is perfect! I also adored the cute little names that you gave to the House Elves here too!! =)
HOLY COW, OMG!!! That ending though!!! Are you freaking kidding me?!?!? HOW can you do this to me?!?!? Oh, you’re horrible, lol!! (Kidding, kidding!!) But that darn girl, always running TOWARDS the danger!! WHY?!? GAH!! This is SO GOOD!! How have I ever stayed away for this long?!? I hate it when RL gets in the way of my FF reading, lol! Not to worry though, I shall be back much, much sooner this time, B – especially after this cliffhanger!!! Happy Prefeciversary again, Bianca!!! HPFT certainly would not be the same without you, hun. See ya in the next chapter!!! ♥♥♥
Tom Riddle killed Noah. What. Noah must have been one of the kids he took to the cave! Oh, god, that is so twisted - is that why he's been hanging around Hero? Or at least, part of why? What is wrong with him? Ughhh Tom Riddle.
Also: poor Hero. That's such a shock, and her brother is such a selfish jerk. He clearly doesn't care about his sister at all and doesn't even bother to try to understand her feelings, and it's really upsetting. :(
Also: Hero, stop doing that. The girl is going to get herself killed if she keeps sticking her nose into things without bothering to wait for backup. It's unclear to me whether it's, like, a depressive-type deathwish or just that she believes that she'll be fine or something else entirely.
This is wonderful, though. Love it.
Your Tom Riddle continues to make my skin crawl... especially since even knowing that Tom Riddle is kind of evil and also the worst, I'm still finding myself feeling charmed by him. I can't even blame Hero. Yeesh.
Speaking of Hero, the intense skin-crawling I'm getting from Tom might be overshadowing how much I like Hero, and I want to remedy that - because I really do like Hero quite a lot. She means so well, but I'm worried that this is going to turn out so not good. :(
Also? Hagrid is heartbreaking. The end. :(
This continues to be amazing and incredible and wow.
Oh god Tom Riddle is creepy. I'm not sure what his game is, and it's possible that he genuinely like her, but like... he's also so clearly using the fact that she's in a vulnerable position to manipulate her, and it makes my skin crawl. In a good way, though, if that makes sense?
This is so good omg. Amazing chapter.
This is kind of besides the point, but holy hell is Fireheart a wonderful artist. These are lovely CIs! ANYWAY.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Hero, abort mission, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and get the hell away from Tom Riddle! He's so, so creepy here, especially since we know exactly why he was there and that he was responsible for the roosters. I can't believe him. (I mean, I can. But seriously, he's so sketchy - Theo is not covering himself in glory here, but Riddle just takes it to another level.)
Also, her family is terrible. Her brother is clearly a complete ass, and Forgiveness depends on your O.W.L. results? SERIOUSLY? She is a wonderful character and deserves a better family. :(
Ahhh this is addictive. ♥
Hey, I'm here for our HPFT gift swap! <3
I loved this so far. There's just the right level of intrigue, and I have no idea where this is going! My heart goes out to Hero to such a ridiculous extent - she's really in a such a tough place, and her brother is clearly kind of a jerk. Tom Riddle's presence makes me super anxious for her, though I'm not sure why (other than that he destroys everything he touches because he's the worst).
Amazing, amazing job. I'm already hooked!
[review transferred from HPFF]
So. That was terrifying. Not in the realm of I’m never going to sleep at night or anything but like. Tom is a really, really dark character. I’ve known that. But like, he puts on such an act and only really starts breaking through that after drawing someone in, and if that someone doesn’t want to walk with him, he gets rid of them. And like, you’ve illustrated that so perfectly within this story and I’m just blown away. You did a really, really great job with this story. With all of it. All the little pieces…it all came together and made sense. It all lead to the end that was predicted from the beginning. Like. I’m not quite sure what else I have to say. You did really, really great with this and I’m really happy I ran across this story. I will eventually pick back up on The Harder They Fall, but processing time first, before more Tom and his evil ways.
Leaving off here with my favourite quote, that I couldn’t agree more with.
“The puzzle was one that I didn't want to finish.”
DUN DUN DUH!
Surprise, surprise. Tom’s a really bad guy. And Hero finally realizes that maybe she’s gotten herself into a situation she’s not ready to be in. And that won’t end well for her.
Like, I’m not quite sure what else to say in regards to this chapter. No part of it was a shock. Like, the fact that Darcy and Noah knew Tom in another life, that he was a terrible, terrible part of their lives and did bad things…like, all well known. I am waiting to see that Hero realizes that Tom seeing Noah the day before he died was no coincidence. Like, I know it’s gotta be coming, if she hasn’t realized it yet and just…it’s such a sucky situation. Not only for Hero, learning that everyone else was right about Tom (though I’m struggling to see why she can’t see it when he starts being more controlling over he…besides the fact that he doesn’t play fair.), but I feel so terrible for Darcy, and Noah for that matter. Like, these innocent kids who were destroyed because someone felt the right. Like, it’s such a sad situation and the fact that it has scarred them both permanently, the fact that there’s nothing they can do about it with it being muggles vs wizard….like, my heart hurts for all the bad things that happened, for all the bad things Tom did.
I think there’s only maybe a chapter or two after this and while I generally know what happens, I’m afraid to read on. Tom is such a dark character and I know he will not respond to Hero well, especially when she tries to call things off because that won’t fit Tom’s agenda (not that I quite understand what his agenda was with her? I mean, I reasoned maybe having to do with getting in with her family, but there’s Finn so like…not quite sure?). But like…yeah. Good chapter of giving out a bunch of information and further exposing Tom for being the horrible person he is. Like, you’ve done his character good justice and just…amazing job.
GAH! WHY DO I KEEP READING WHEN I KNOW TOM IS JUST GOING TO DO THINGS AND HERO IS GOING TO OVERLOOK THEM JUST LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES AND THEN THINGS WILL GET COMPLICATED AND WHY?!
Okay. Okay. I know I’ve read far too many chapters. The overdramatic review writing has returned. But like…I can’t help it. Hero is such a relatable character, she’s unfortunately not thinking with her head quite as much as she’s thinking with her emotions and just…this is getting worse and I know things aren’t going to end well. *Sigh*
So. The fact that Tom shows up in the hospital wing and gets all pushy as to why Hero was outside of the common room bothers me. Partially because I feel the whole thing was his fault, but also like, tracking her every movement? Really? Like, I know why he’s doing it, it’s part of his control complex thing, but like…he sort of blows her off and walks away and takes matters into his own hands. In like, the most wrong way possible. Like, partially because he makes Hero worry about their status as a couple, but also because whose the heir of Slytherin? Who just so happens to get petrified before the Quidditch game Hero was all worried about? Like, honestly. I wish Hero would think JUST a little bit more on that one.
Also. Emory. Something tells me a certain someone told her. And that wouldn’t be Theo either, since he seemed quite miffed as to what Hero was on about. But I have a feeling that will unfold in some bad manner and bad things will happen. Since that seems to be some sort of theme, or something…
OH AND BEFORE I FORGET. Tom. Taking revenge on Leighton just because she did something or said something Hero didn’t like? I won’t say it but like, it’s the worst kind of manipulation and while it’s a little more blatant in this case, like, there are ways where it isn’t and it causes people to do things against their better judgement and just…You accomplished a lot in this chapter, explained a lot about Tom and why people like him are the most dangerous breed. Like. I can’t handle it.
Great chapter! Really loving everything you’ve got included in this story!
What even is this? I was going to stop chapters ago to do some adulating (or something of the sort?) and here I am, a couple of hours later, unable to stop because there’s so much going on and I have so many questions and I don’t want to do anything else until I know what’s going to happen next…like, I’m honestly just waiting for things to fall apart and crash and burn because Hero is too wrapped up in her emotions to see she’s doing exactly what she doesn’t want to do and just…
Tom acting weird. How abnormal. Except it’s not. And it kills me that Hero’s so blind. But like. She’s got quite a few bomb shells being dropped on her, with her cousin, who she relates best with, being adopted and Muggleborn and then, ya know, Emory calling her out on doing exactly what Hero denies she wants to do. Like, I feel for Emory because I know the feeling of being pushed off like that, of what’s happening in my life not being as important as someone else thinks they are. It’s hard and I’m sort of happy she’s standing up for herself and telling Hero like it is. Not that Hero listens, but I’m glad she walks away and lets Morgan fall into Hero’s game. Not that he deserves it anymore, but at least he’s well aware of what he’s walking into.
And Morgan. Give him credit for still speaking with Hero after everything in Hogsmeade and with the knowledge that she has a more serious thing with Tom. Because I’m not sure I’d want to be involved in anything that close Tom myself, with how he gets. In case that’s not obvious.
I do worry for Hero. Because Tom doesn’t play fair. Like, everything is strictly to his own advantage and he doesn’t not play clean nor fair to get his way. Like, the style in which he gets under Hero’s skin, makes her walk into situations blindly yet willingly. It sends a shiver down my spine at how ruthless he is…(Also, Hero acting all ‘what do you mean’ with the whole Slytherin/Gryffindor Quidditch match thing…like, I’m happy Tom doesn’t care more about Quidditch because that could be really bad….)
And, without fail, the ‘what is even happening anymore’ at the end of this chapter. I have a bad feeling about bad things and this is not good for Hero’s mental state. Or poor Briony. Like. I can’t say I quite understand what’s going on there, but part of me might, but would rather not believe it…I’m not even sure. All I know is the next chapter is waiting for me!
Well, well, everything just shifted here, didn’t it. Like, I’m totally not surprised, because Tom is who he is, but like…it’s unfortunate, you know. Someone so young but so poisoned by what his life was, by what he wants to become…like, it really kills me. Tom puts this act on of being this proper and respectful person, but the level of manipulation…like, I know there were little hints of it last chapter, but every bit of manipulation is for his own gain. Only ever for his own gain. And it’s fine, but it hurts every single person around him. And you illustrate how, once you’re in that sort of cycle, in that sort of environment, there is no easy way out. Like, I am so in awe of how you craft things, not only in this chapter but overall.
So. Not a fan of Tom’s game here. He’s all off about Sabastian, which I don’t quite understand. I’m not sure if it’s because the kid’s a Muggleborn, not a wizard, or the fact that, despite everything Tom does, he can’t figure out why the basilisk hasn’t killed yet. I’m more thinking it’s the later of the two points, but I can’t help but unhelpfully point out the fact that he has zero concern about Hero and her reaction to it being Sabastian. I mean, I know she’s just a piece he’s using in his game at the moment, but like…one can dream, yeah?
That said, exactly the point. Tom wants to get in with Grindelwald and with the Blishwicks party, or whatever it is, exactly, Tom knows he can use Hero to get there. Saying he’ll make sure she’ll behave. Which is all varieties of cringe worthy which is why I tried so hard to keep this evil Tom thing in my head when Hero was all infatuated with him and stuff. Like, why Hero, why?
I also feel terrible for Finn. I knew Tom was going to try something, but like…did he have to? I know the bigger part of it is manipulating and training Finn, but that was terrible. Like, Tom’s so terribly but like…I don’t even know. Tom’s character is so well characterized as this charming guy everyone should hate, and with good reason.
Nonetheless, another lovely chapter. I’m quite enjoying this story!
. . .
“Trust me…Your parents would want this. Don't you want to make them happy?...Don't you want to make me happy?"
. . .
“I couldn't help but think that if anyone should be Slytherin's heir, it was him.”
. . .
I don’t know If I can come up with a coherent form of English for any of what I just read here. Just…what…why….how…that was just…
Okay. I’ve got this…I can do this.
Tom. I’m not sure if I have adequate words for him. He’s so polite and courteous and proper and then BAM! He’s the definition of manipulative and evil and doing things he shouldn’t be doing and just. I don’t even know. Hero goes for it all so easily because she’s fallen into his charm, but like…poor Emory gets the back half of it as Hero doesn’t follow her because Tom distracts her and I really, really want to like Tom and what he makes Hero feel but I can’t because he makes everything so complicated and just. Why, Tom, why?!
I do have to laugh at the irony. The heir of Slytherin, you said Hero? Glad you asked. :P
Theo and Emory. Well, I’m happy Theo did the right thing and ended things. I had a feeling that was the case, despite the fact Hero was too…preoccupied to notice. And with tensions running high with Emory being a Muggleborn and all…like. I don’t even know what to say to that. Because like, this time Emory is on the ball with being like, ‘something’s not right with Tom’ and Hero really REALLY should listen…
As for this petrified students things. Like. The timing on some of this, let me tell you. I just…there was so much going on in this chapter and the first petrified student wasn’t as big of a OMG moment but Sabastian? I can’t see this going well for Hero. And I’m not quite sure what Tom’s going to manage after this one. And like. There’s so much going on. What is this all?
I think that’s as coherent as I can be for the moment. I’ll stop the rambling before it gets worse (this isn’t even the worst xD). But like. Great job. I’m attached to characters and the plot and everything…it’s amazing. Amazing.
AHHH! OH MY GOSH HOW I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING I DON’T KNOW BUT THAT WAS JUST PERFECT AND OMG.
I know I said something about another chapter being amusing and my favourite and all, but like…this one. I don’t care what sort of image I have of Tom Riddle in my head, this was perfect. Like, as much as I was like ‘Hero, don’t do this, it’s not a good idea,’ I’m like…thank the lord it happened. This was what was needed and it was so beautiful and just…
Okay. Self control. I’m working on it.
Where to start…where to start….I sort of feel bad for Morgan. He came in at all the wrong times and said all the right things. Like, so unfair for him to be hinting at things with Hero (WHICH SHE WAS WARNED ABOUT), only to have what happened happen. I mean, it was okay until Finn had to go ahead with the whole blood purity thing. That was kind of cruel. And unnecessary. Like, Morgan was going to be okay with Hero saying no and all that, but like Finn didn’t need to make things worse.
And I think that kind of flows into this whole thing with Hero and Tom. Like, interesting that he’s the one who steps up and holds her back from attacking her brother. He tells the other two, who had drawn wands, to put them away and that was just…interesting. Like, I get it, I think, but like…Tom’s character has this every changing image in my head and it was a different light on that. In a good way, I think…
And the rest of this chapter…well, if I didn’t know everything I knew about Tom…that was the most perfect thing ever. Just the one simple kiss after practicing and then Tom asking her to the astronomy tower. Like, there was no way she wouldn’t skip out on her prefect duties for that (but I get the feeling bad things may happen…), and that whole thing just…could see it play out in my head and there’s nothing more perfect and dangerous and destined for disaster than that. I love it. Much more than I probably should.
I think that’s all I have coherently to say about this chapter. I will share my favourite little bit of this chapter (besides everything).
"Hero, I know you've been involving yourself in finding who's behind it, but please stop. It could be dangerous." // "I thought I was the dangerous one?"
Loved the chapter. Was going to call it quits after this one but I think one more wouldn’t be the end of the world… ;)
This chapter…oh my gosh, I think it just jumped to my favourite chapter of this story. Like, I was so entirely amused by this chapter, and how the darkness of this story sits on it, and Tom and just…things were amusing this chapter.
"Darker…I see it in you…It's... intoxicating. You're dangerous."
I can only laugh as Tom means this as a compliment and Hero is kind of terrified of it. Okay, maybe terrified isn’t the right word. But like, you know what I mean. She doesn’t take it nearly as well as he had meant it at first. It makes her skin crawl (as it should) and makes me just a little more interested in Tom. Like, what’s he playing at and is there an intention here? Or…ya know…what is the intention.
"Unless you want to find out just how dark I am inside if you refuse, yes."
I think this line makes the previous line more entertaining. Like, way to go Hero, play into. And it’s funny because Tom reacts the exact way I would expect him to. Amused. Like, he totally asked for this and invited it. And Enjoyed it. Like, I think if anything, that part of this chapter is my most favourite and I just can’t get over it.
I do like Morgan here though. He kind of knows where her struggle is and can talk with her about her parents without it getting weird. He’s got a lot gentler of a way of bringing things up, unlike Theo whose always a little…strong headed when bringing things up.
I also love how Dumbledore is brought in here and how Hero notices how Tom doesn’t react the same with Dumbledore. Like, that dynamic really fits with Tom’s character (obviously from what we know), but like, you illustrate it well without making it a big deal.
Only question I have with this chapter if it’s chronologically in the right order? Like, I think it’s a missing moment from earlier? I might have missed something….But otherwise, really, this was a fabulous chapter. I was quite amused by it! :)