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Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 03:56 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The Chamber's Echo.

The title of this chapter was a really effective one, and it definitely made me curious about what was going to happen.

 

I've never really thought about it before, but it does make sense that Albus and his siblings might actually not have been told very much about the Chamber of Secrets and how it opened, given the fact that Ginny was the one who was possessed and opened it.  It would probably bring up a lot of bad memories for the two of them at best.  But Harry is right in his letter, in that there's someone older giving the student the information here, if it is a student who's doing all this.

 

I liked the fact that Albus actually wrote to his dad to tell him what had been happening at Hogwarts, and didn't try and hide the mystery from him because he wanted to solve it himself.  He's a little boy still, and he's scared, and he knows his dad knows more than he does and can hopefully try and protect him.  That letter said a lot about their relationship.

 

I was glad that McGonagall actually spoke to the students about what had happened, too.  It seemed in character for her not to want to hide everything from them and treat them like babies, especially after what happened at Hogwarts while Harry was there.

 

Harry's letter was really interesting.  I was glad that he was so honest with Albus, and wanted to give him the facts to reassure him, rather than just promising that everything will be alright.

 

I think you want us to suspect Blackburn, but I still think my theory is more likely.  As for Scorpius, I'd be surprised if he's behind this as he seems like the obvious choice for Rose and Albus to suspect.  I bet it's someone we haven't even considered yet, but I'm really intrigued who it could be!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Albus has had a very different upbringing from Harry's. Harry grew up with basically no support from adults: his parents were dead, his aunt and uncle abused him, his teachers seemed to completely fail to recognise either that he was being bullied or that he was being abused at home. Albus, on the other hand, was raised not only by loving parents, but also by national heroes, so he is very likely to have more faith in the ability and willingness of adults to help than Harry was. Albus and Rose are also Ravenclaws and not Gryffindors so more likely to take more caution and not just rush straight in to things without seeking advice. So yeah, both Harry and Hermione are going to play a part in the background of this series, giving advice and explaining things.

 

And Harry is well aware of how not being given information is more likely to make kids take unnecessary risks - if he'd known the Philosopher's Stone could not possibly be found by somebody who wanted to USE it, maybe he, Ron and Hermione wouldn't have gone looking for it and if they hadn't, it would never have been endangered. Harry will mention later on that if Albus IS going to investigate things, he would rather it be with his help.

 

I really like your comments on the possible suspects. All I will say is that both Blackburn and Scorpius have significant roles in this series and there are things about both of them that Albus doesn't know or hasn't considered. These things may or may not be connected with the strange things that have been happening.

 

I'd be interested to know of any suspicions you have.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 03:48 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: Caught Red-Handed.

This mystery is really starting to get thicker now, and I couldn't wait to carry on and find out more.

 

After the dramatic ending in the last chapter, and the fact that the writing was in blood, I was so relieved to find out that it wasn't actually blood - though I think you did a great job of injecting some of Albus's panic into the reader.  It was great to see the parallels here between this scene and the Chamber of Secrets, and whoever is behind everything here obviously knows the history of Albus and Rose's parents at Hogwarts.

 

The real contrast between the characters of Rose and Albus came through really well here.  Albus is starting to panic and wants to get away as soon as possible, but Rose manages to stay calm and realise that will only look more suspicious.  Of course, Filch comes on the scene and suspects them straight away - more because they're children and they're there, than anything else, I think.

 

I'm so glad that McGonagall believed them straight away.  She's obviously going to be keeping her eyes open since there are a couple of incidents which have happened with Albus now, but I liked her no nonsense attitude.  It's worrying that the note has gone missing, though - and it's actually making me wonder whether it's someone in Albus's house who's behind whatever is happening.  That would make sense, especially with the way they've been able to access the common room easily, even though Albus struggles with the questions...

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Glad the cliffhanger held your attention. And yes, there are DEFINITE similarities between this and the Chamber of Secrets, similarities that appear deliberate.

 

And Filch wouldn't be Filch if he didn't immedidately suspect anybody he sees. Giving people the benefit of the doubt isn't exactly his forte.

 

Hmm, those are good deductions.

 

Thanks again for the reviews and apologies for the delay in replying.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 03:46 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: Ravenclaw Versus Gryffindor.

Mmmh... another mystery... although it could be that Rose just forgot the scales, there's no real reason there should be more to it than that.

Also, can I say how much I esteem you for just thinking about possible questions to access Ravenclaw Tower? I think that's one good reason I'll probably never write Ravenclaw main characters... :P I think it's a crazy way to access their common room, I would probably be the one waiting out forever for someone else to solventi the enigma (then, again, I'm not a Ravenclaw...)

By the way, I love that Albus got to love his house so much! I had no doubt he would, but it's nice to hear him say so! :) And it was really nice of Rasmus to understand that Albus wanted to cheer on his brother as well. They are all so supportive of each other. :)

By the way, poor Albus... wanting to support James and at the same time his own house. How embarrassing must it have been when he cheered at James' first save! And speaking of James... I loved the way he boasted at breakfast. He's just the way I would expect him to be, I'm really loving all the characterization! :)

Lovely chapter once again! ;)



Author's Response:

Thank you SO much for all the wonderful reviews. I WILL answer them all, but it might be a while as I am pretty busy at the moment between work and preparations for Christmas. I do have two weeks off after Christmas though and don't have much to do from St. Stephen's day (day after Christmas) on so should get them answered then.

 

Those questions to access Ravenclaw Tower were NOT easy. Each one took quite a bit of time to come up with. And I would probably be stuck outside forever too even though I am DEFINITELY a Ravenclaw. But those questions seem to be mostly riddles and that is NOT the way my mind works. I tend to get stuck on the absolute literal answer and am not particularly good at wordplay. Ask me questions based on things actually covered in class and I'd have no problem.

 

Thanks again.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 03:30 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: Hallowe'en

Wow, things really escalated in this chapter - I think it's safe to say that the mystery is well and truly here now!

 

I really liked the sense of excitement and anticipation that you managed to build up all the way through this chapter.  The way that Albus is so excited for his first Halloween at Hogwarts, and being able to experience it himself after he's heard so many stories about it from his family, was really sweet and believable.

 

It was interesting to hear him admitting that it sometimes feels like he's never the first person to do anything with his big family.  Albus seems a little more like Ron did in that respect now, because of his age and the size of his family, whereas the Muggleborn children with him are taking a role more like Harry, and not knowing what to expect when everything happens for the first time.  I think it showed that there are advantages and disadvantages to everything, I suppose.

 

I liked the fact that the teachers were happy enough to do a few tricks at Halloween with the first years.  I know you can't do it much in later years, but it's the sort of fun thing that happens in the first year at school to keep pupils interested.

 

The discussion of the Muggle version of Halloween, and their beliefs in ghosts and witches and wizards, was really interesting.  Halloween is much more of a reason to celebrate than anything really being scary in the wizarding world, because they know that all of those things exist and are exposed to them regularly.

 

The Halloween feast was really fun - I liked the ghosts' entertainment this year, and the idea that it's become a bigger feast at the school.  

 

The letter made me suspicious immediately - I think Rose was right to question whether Slughorn had actually sent it or not.  Of course, if they hadn't gone, they'd have been driven mad by curiosity - whoever sent the letter seemed to know that they'd go.  So maybe it's both Albus and Rose that they're targetting, or at least the children of the Golden Trio.  Someone definitely wanted them to be seen there.  I can't wait to find out more!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Yup, the title of the story becomes apparent now and things really start heating up.

 

And yes, with the younger classes, you can always have a bit of fun around Halloween, Christmas, etc. Of course, Halloween falls during the mid-term break here, but we still have some fun in the lead up to it. I read "The Warlock's Hairy Heart" with my 1st years the last class before the mid-term break, then let them do a Halloween wordsearch. As the exams loom there is less time for stuff like that and it's generally not as appealing to 16 year olds anyway, but when you are dealing with 12 year olds, it's always good to have a bit of fun.

 

I like your ideas. Definitely makes sense that somebody might target the children of the Golden Trio. 

 

Hope you continue to enjoy the story.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 03:15 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: Ravenclaw Versus Gryffindor.

I like seeing Cho Chang as the Flying teacher at Hogwarts.  I think most of the time she's portrayed as someone who's quite severe as an adult, but she can't be all bad here if she's teaching flying to these children - and being patient with Nathan and the others who are struggling, too.

 

I really enjoyed the conversation between Albus and the other Ravenclaws about the different sports that they enjoy watching.  It's always struck me as slightly strange that there's only one sport in the wizarding world that's really popular, and the others are disregarded.  I mean, I don't like football but I love watching rugby.  Fionnuala's explanation of the games played in Ireland (and the detail about the impact that their world cup victory had on the popularity of the sport) was intriguing.  I loved Angie's staunch support for football, and her team.  It must be frustrating to have supported a Muggle sport and then suddenly not have access to it when you go to school.  I can imagine a group of students setting up some form of protest about it :P

 

Albus is really in a bit of a conundrum with who to support - I liked that conflict, because it's the sort of thing I'd feel, when you've got loyalties to both teams.  I'm glad that James's first match as Keeper went well, too, and it was really sweet that Albus still wanted to congratulate him.

 

I didn't expect the Slug Club to have a party to celebrate the Gryffindor victory.

 

Those riddles are difficult!  It seems a bit mean to keep children out of their common room because they can't work out the answer to a question that most adults wouldn't be able to puzzle out.  

 

I wonder what happened to Rose's scales.  It seems like quite an insignificant thing to happen, but with the mystery that's started here, I'm sure it's somehow involved, and especially with them turning up dented afterwards.  But why would someone take Rose's scales...?

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

To be honest, I don't even really remember writing this chapter, but victories increasing the popularity of sports is common in Ireland. Not even sure I'd HEARD of soccer before the 1990 World Cup, but Ireland's progression to the quarter finals certainly increased the popularity of the game then and we still talk about Italia '90 to this day and some of the songs like "Give it a Lash, Jack" are still played. And more recently, the popularity of rugby has increased recently as Ireland has actually started doing OK at it.

 

If I even finish this series - Year 3 is being awkward - Aingingein is going to play a part. Because yeah, in the real world, there is quite a variety of sports and while the wizarding world is so small, it's still presumable bigger than Ireland and we have Gaelic football, hurling, camogie and Gaelic handball, just of our own sports and then soccer and rugby and tennis and basketball are also played.

 

Keep the apparent insignificance in mind.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 03:13 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The Flying Lesson.

Ahahah! Albus is so alike his father! So typical that he would find Scorpius' behaviour suspicious and that he would follow him to see what he was up to (nothing, apparently)

Poor Scorpius just seems pretty lonely and probably he doesn't have a very happy family environment, even if that's just a feeling, we don't really know him enough to tell, at least for now. He does remind of his father quite a bit, though... the way he boasted over his broom and lamented that they weren't allowed to bring their brooms at school... Malfoys are always Malfoys, aren't they?

Aww... Nathan is the cutest! I adore that he is brilliant at theory but just can't do practise! And I adore that Neville is so fond of him!

I also really, really like Derek, and it's so nice that he and Albus seem to get along so well

The mistery of the poisoned chocolate is staying a mystery, unsurprisingly. Rose is right,  of course. There's a really low chance that they'll find out who sent them, so the best they can do for now is forget about it. But of course I can't blame Albus for wanting to know. It's so scary not knowing, especially when it could really be something serious. Of course he would want to know that the culprit is just another student wanting a laugh. But as I already said, I sort of doubt it.

I really want to see more Scorpius now, I'm quite sure he'll turn out to be an interesting character. And obviously I'm still wondering about Blackburn...

Great chapter again! :)



Author's Response:

I really like your theories about Scorpius. It makes sense that he might not have a very happy family environment, given what we know about the Malfoys and their experiences during the war. I think Draco is VERY likely to have ongoing problems as a result of his experiences. Not only did he live through a war, like all the characters, but he was actually present for some of the torture and abuse and very much at the mercy of Voldemort himself. He was alos pretty much forced into almost killing somebody and had everything he thought he knew turned upsidedown, when the person threatening his life and that of his family was the man he had been taught to idolise. And then there was his near death during the Battle of Hogwarts. Add to that the fact that there is bound to be ongoing suspicions of the Malfoys and what we know about Lucius and Narcissa and yeah, it doesn't make for the best environment in which to grow up.

 

You will get to know Scorpius better as the story progresses. He is one character I put a lot of thought into how to portray as it seemed like every option had already been done and I didn't want to end up imitating somebody else's interpretation.

 

The mystery of the poisoned chocolates (love that description, by the way) won't be solved until the end of the story. By then, other events will have happened and they will all fit together in the end.

 

One thing I will say is that you are quite right to wonder about both Scorpius and Blackburn. Both do have more to them than Albus and Rose know. Whether that "more" has to do with the mystery or is just things like Scorpius's family background, on the other hand, I'm not revealing.

 

Thanks again so so much for the reviews and sorry for taking so long in getting around to replying to them.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 02:52 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The Flying Lesson.

Ah, reading this chapter felt a little like history repeating itself, with the way that Harry was so suspicious of Draco whenever anything happened at Hogwarts.  Clearly Albus has inherited that suspicion of the Malfoys from his father, but I'm really intrigued by this chapter, actually.  It seems like Albus doesn't necessarily know all of the history of the Malfoys and the war, which is something I'd have thought his parents would think is important to teach him before he goes to school.  It seems like Rose does know it, though, so maybe the way that they were able to stay out of Azkaban after the war isn't common knowledge?

 

But I can understand that Albus would want to think that Scorpius was the one responsible for putting the Swelling Solution in those chocolates.  I'm not sure what foundation he has for the suspicion other than Scorpius being a Malfoy and a Slytherin, but it makes sense that he wouldn't want to suspect any of the people in his house (and I hope it wasn't any of them either - it seems like a pretty advanced thing for them to do, especially so early on) or think that there's someone from outside Hogwarts targetting him without him knowing why.

 

In spite of the parallels I see in this chapter between Albus and Harry, I do like being able to see the differences between them too; Albus is a lot more thoughtful and introspective than Harry seemed to be at this age, and more cautious in some ways about how he approaches everything.  It seems to fit with his house better, too.

 

Scorpius is an interesting character.  You've portrayed him very differently to how I often see him depicted in next gen stories, and he has more of the Malfoy arrogance than I tend to see.  A lot of stories throw Albus and Scorpius together early on as friends, so I'm intrigued to see whether they'll become friends eventually in your story.

 

I like the way that the story is progressing here, and the fact that the lessons are becoming more advanced.  The flying lesson probably shouldn't have made me laugh, but it did - if it were me, I'd definitely be joining Nathan in falling off the broom!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Yes, growing up as part of the Weasley clan, Albus doesn't exactly have the best impression of the Malfoys. I wouldn't imagine many people would have, actually. To the Death Eaters, they are sell-outs and traitors and to the rest of the world, they are Death Eaters. Can't be much fun growing up as part of a family with that background. Especially since I'd imagine Draco has a LOT of issues from the war. He was nearly forced to KILL somebody after all and he watched people being tortured, spend a year or two fearing he and his entire family would be killed and had his whole world view turned upsidedown when the person who threatened to kill him and his family was the man he'd always been taught to idolise.

 

I don't think Albus really HAS much foundation for his suspicion other than, "I've just arrived at Hogwarts. Nobody here has any REASON to hate me yet, except maybe the Malfoys, because their family has hated mine for decades." And yes, it is an "easy" solution. He has no doubt heard enough from Ron and George and James to expect Slytherins, particularly those from Death Eater families to hate him. Believing that somebody in his own house hates him would be a lot more worrying and if it is somebody from the outside, that's pretty serious, both because it would mean an adult was involved and also because of the INTENT behind it. To send something to a classmate is one thing. To send something into a school to an 11 year old is rather another. It would indicate this wasn't just spontaneous but was part of a plan.

 

I put a lot of thought into how to portray Scorpius. I've seen both extremes, where he is Albus's best friend and where they hate each other and basically reenact their father's feud. I wanted to avoid repeating what others have done so this will be a bit different from either situation. And will also take into account the likely complications in the Malfoy family,

 

And poor Nathan.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 02:28 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: Mysteries.

Still wondering about Blackburn. Is she good or bad? She's surely hiding something, that's quite obvious. But the fact she admitted she overreacted and apologized and gave an explaination (sort of) seems reassuring. I'm still wondering why she skipped the lesson and what is wrong with her. Was she really not feeling well? Maybe she's a werewolf... :P  (no, I doubt that, it would be too trivial... but I wouldn't really mind if that was the case, I quite like werewolves)

And then there is the potion's thing... I knew he couldn't be James. I know he like such to prank his brother, but he would never, ever do anything that could actually hurt Albus in any way. I kind of have a feeling there is something darker going on than just a prank... I'm glad Albus thought of writing to his father, it was very wise of him (definitely wiser than eating food he didn't know where it came from)

I'll be back again in a bit. Really enjoying the story so far! :)

Much love,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Hmm, some interesting suggestions there. It would be sort of interesting to see what experience a werewolf teaching at Hogwarts might have in a later era. And there are many other reason she might not be feeling well, some of which could also make a good story!

 

And hmm, something darker going on. There might well be. I will say that these stories are not going to be as dark as the Harry Potter series. That's not to say they are going to be light and fluffy either. If you've seen the inclusivity listings for Year 2, they include PTSD. And if I ever get Year 3 finished, it's going to be even darker. But there is no equivalent of Voldemort and the villains' plans will not equate to his attempts to seize control of wizarding Britain at all costs.

 

Albus has grown up in a very different environment from Harry and unlike Harry, has learnt to trust adults, so both Harry and Hermione will play a part in the background of this series, giving advice and information.

 

Thank you so much for the reviews and hope you continue to enjoy the story.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 01:51 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

Hi again!

So I was right to be wary about Blackburn... what had she asked Slughorn? Clearly she feared Albus and Rose had heard something she wouldn't have wanted them to, or she wouldn't have reacted that way. It's quite suspicious, other than totally unfair. Poor Albus, I bet he isn't looking forward to his detention...

Instead, I loved James' entusiasm, and I'm so very glad he made it into the team. It's strange that he wanted to be Keeper, for some reason it's not the role I would imagine him into, but I do like it. :) Also, I found it sort sweet that he wanted his brother to cheer on him at the try-outs, I love to see a little bit of siblings' complicity, even if it's only a little bit. :)

I'll need to move to the next chapter again, because I'm curious how that detention will go. See you soon! ;)



Author's Response:

Apologies for the delay in replying, by the way. I've been pretty busy recently, but things are getting a little less hectic now we are heading for the Christmas holidays.

 

And yes, you were right to wonder about Blackburn. Whether she is good or bad, nice or not nice, I can't reveal yet, but she does have a significant part to play in this series. And you're asking some relevant questions. It does look as if she's hiding something here.

 

Thank you so much for the reviews.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 01:13 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The Slug Club.

I'm back!

I loved the letters from home, I had no doubt Harry would be supportive of Albus being in Ravenclaw. :) 

Ahahah! Ron is always Ron! :P

So is Slughorn... No doubts he would want all Potters and Weasleys in his collection... *rolls eyes* I sort of doubt Lily would end up in Slytherin, but never say never, of course. :P 

And I love how alike her mother Rose is, with her complete lack of interest for Quidditch. :P

The Slug Club party was exactly like I would have imagined it to be. Poor Albus, it must have been so awkward, being the little first year among the unknown, grown-up and cool students... (I'm a bit surprised Slughorn invited them so soon, to be honest, even with their very famous parents)

Poor James, too. He must really, really want that Quidditch team position... but Rose is right, that's not the way to get it, he just need to prove his talents when try-outs will come.

Kingsley's son seemed really nice, it was a nice introduction. By the way, I love that most of your next gen characters are related to canon people, it's nice to recognize a lot of different surnames.

I like most of the Ravenclaw children, but Dora honestly seems a bit haughty, I wonder how the friendship relationships will develop...

Nice chapter again, moving to the next one now.



Author's Response:

Really glad you liked the letters. Those can be difficult to write.

 

And yes, of COURSE Slughorn, with his obsession with famous people, would want the Potters and Weasleys.

 

There will be some surprises when Lily starts Hogwarts, if I ever get the third year written properly. It is NOT working out. The characters are being awkward and behaving like caricatures of themselves! But there will be some surprises, both relating to the sorting and to her behaviour in general.

 

Keep an eye on the various students. Some of them will have important parts to play in the series.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 12:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: Mysteries.

Ooh, so with the title of this chapter, I think it's safe to assume that the mystery is now really beginning.  I think you've done a good job of world-building so far, and familiarising the readers with the characters and what Hogwarts is like now that Albus is there, and I'm glad to see the mystery really beginning here.

 

Well, to say glad sounds kind of mean, actually, given what happened to Albus.  The poor kid was so distracted with the fact that he had the detention and he was expecting his parents to be angry with him (which I suspect wouldn't happen - with the amount of trouble both Harry and Ginny got into at school, albeit for a good reason, they wouldn't be very justified in telling him off for an undeserved detention) that he probably forgot one of the lessons they'd taught him and opened post without a label or address.

 

Swelling Solution sounds like it could be a prank, and I suppose with everyone assuring Albus it's not that dangerous, it could have been someone playing a joke, but I'd have thought ingesting Swelling Solution could be really dangerous if it blocked up your airways... maybe the first in a targetted line of "jokes"?  It seems pretty unprovoked as far as anything Albus has done, so I wonder if it's connected with his dad, even though Harry doesn't seem to think so (or want Albus to think so).

 

I'm glad that it's being looked into, though.  And I'm glad that Rose and Albus now believe James didn't do it.  It seemed unlikely to me that he'd do that sort of thing - I know he's a bit of a practical joker, but it would be far easier for him to present his brother with food or drink for a joke than to send it through the post.  I wonder who it is, though.

 

The ending, and Professor Blackburn's change of heart, was really interesting - she seemed much more like herself.  But OH!  Putting things together from the last chapter... Is Professor Blackburn a werewolf?  Since Slughorn had to take over her class, and she was getting something from him the other night, it would make sense.  I don't think I've ever seen any Hogwarts teachers taking time off ill except for Remus, so maybe that's why I'm thinking of it.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Yup, the mystery really begins in this chapter, if it didn't at the end of the last one, with Blackburn's odd behaviour. In this one, we have her continuing changes of attitude and of course, the Swelling Solution. Either or both may be serious or they may be minor issues. As you've said, the Swelling Solution could just be a prank. If the person who sent it was another 1st year, they may not have considered possibilities like it blocking the airways, which could probably be fixed with a spell anyway. And I like your suggestion about Blackburn. It would explain her absence, her secretiveness, the reason Slugho rn appeared to be giving her a potion and possibly her moodiness. On the other hand, she could be hiding something more nefarious and/or the potion could be a serious attempt to harm or frighten Albus.

 

I really like your theory that it could be connected with Harry in some way. After all, he must have made enemies as an Auror and some of the children and grandchildren of tge Death Eaters may have reason to hate him. 

 

And yes, given what Harry and Ginny got up to, I really don't think they'd be annoyed he just accidentally saw one teacher hand another a goblet. I can't imagine any rational parent being annoyed at that! But he's only just started Hogwarts and getting a detention so soon feels like he's made a really bad start. And he's probably seen his parents getting pretty annoyed by James's detentions as they are pretty frequent.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 12:23 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: A Magical Education.

Hello, Margaret. I'm here with snowballs (and hugs, cause those go together :P )

Profiting to go on with this story, which I've been meaning to get back to for a while now. Anyway...

I loved that Albus automatically headed towards the Gryffindor table on his first day. I bet it'll would feel weird for him to be part of a different house, given his family’s history. But I'm sure he'll get used to it.

The children's discussion at breakfast was really interesting, I love the idea that Hermione would be fighting for the rights of all magical creatures and against old prejudices. And of course the importance of knowing history to avoid the mistakes of the past is always a solidarietà point and something Hermione would point out. (Even if no one could ever actually listen to Binns).

Their first day was really great. :) So their Defence teacher is Hestia? (Can't remember if you mentioned it already) She seems really good, anyway.

And Blackburn, too, seems nice enough. But for some reason I'm a bit wary of her, guess we'll have to wait and see.

Oh, poor Nathan... Bet Neville saw a bit of himself in him. I really like the both of them (I have a thing for clumsy people...)

Of course Hermione would give very precise directions to the library, ahahah! I really hope Derek will find some answers in the book, it must be so confusing for a Muggleborn...

Great chapter, moving on the next now. ;)



Author's Response:

Oh yes, Hermione is on a mission to change the wizarding world, something that is rather necessary. The house-elves are pretty much slaves, after all. The whole issue of her reforms will play a rather bigger part in year two when things really start to get off the ground. Year 1 takes place largely within Hogwarts.

 

Yes, Hesia Jones is the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It probably wasn't mentioned before this as she has been there for a while and Albus would probably already know that from James and Harry and his older cousins so he had no real reason to talk about it. I didn't want TOO many OCs in the first story as it would take the focus off those that have a significant part to play so I kept OC teachers to a minimum, but of course, some are needed as it would make no sense for all the teachers to be people Harry knew.

 

Blackburn does have a significant part to play in this series but whether she is a hero, a villain or something else is something you'll have to wait to find out.

 

And yes, Neville DEFINITELY saw something of himself in Nathan. I like the idea of Neville coming full circle and supporting his students the way people like Remus supported him. He knows what it's like to struggle and the difference that a supportive teacher or a cruel teacher can make.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 12:04 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

Hello!

 

I really enjoyed this chapter and the way that we got to see more of the family dynamics explored here.  James is characterised in so many different ways in fanfiction, but I liked your version of him here - particularly the fact that the nerves he felt about trying out for Quidditch came through, and that it was something that he wanted really badly.

 

His asking Albus and Rose to go along to watch him try out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team was sweet, though - I know that he was acting cocky and confident in front of Albus, when he was talking about it, but just the fact he wants them there for moral support shows that he's not as confident as he's making out.  It seems like the two brothers are quite close, and I definitely feel like Albus really looks up to James and feels a bit of pressure to match up to his achievements at times.

 

Brian reminds me a bit of Oliver Wood in how serious he is about Quidditch, and not wanting Ravenclaw spies in his camp, even if they're only first years who can't even play Quidditch for Hogwarts yet.  I wonder if it's a requirement to become a Quidditch captain? :P

 

I was glad to see that James made the team, in spite of all his nerves.  I think it would make sense to have Claire training with them as a reserve all the time, given how good she is and how many people get injured in Quidditch.  But James did a great job.

 

The ending with Blackburn has me really intrigued - it seemed unfair of her to give Rose and Albus a detention, particularly when it was mentioned earlier in the chapter that she's a pretty easy-going teacher, so I'm curious about what the real reasons behind her mood and her punishment for them might have been.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 

Yeah, Quidditch seems to be taken pretty seriously at Hogwarts. Anybody would think they were playing for their country or anything instead of just being a schoolwide competition, but then the whole House Cup seems to be taken pretty seriously too. And they don't even get a prize at the end of it. We had a competition a bit like that between classes (since Irish schools don't generally have houses except those that are trying to imitate Hogwarts and one school up the country that is probably trying to imitate British boarding schools) and the winning class got a trip to Cork and we still didn't take it as seriously as they seem to.

 

Yes, that detention really is pretty bizarre, isn't it? She pretty much gave them detention just for walking down the corridor. Exactly what is going on with her WILL eventually be revealed but not for some time.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 11:25 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The Slug Club.

Hi again!

 

The opening of this chapter was great - I really like your pacing with this story, taking time to let the reader (and Albus) get used to life at Hogwarts.  The little things like receiving letters from family don't seem like big events, but to an eleven year old boy who's from a loving home and naturally missing his family, I know they'd be important, and I'm glad you gave that a nod here.  Albus getting teary over the letters is definitely something he wouldn't want to do at school, but it showed how much he misses his family.  Even with the excitement of Hogwarts, going away for most of the year at such a young age must be difficult.

 

One tiny thing - part way through the Slug Club scene, the rest of this chapter was in italics.  I think it might just have been a formatting mistake, but thought I'd point it out so you can change it :)

 

The Slug Club still going feels very in character for Slughorn, as does Harry warning Albus about it.  I bet there were lots of rolled eyes in the Potter household any time it was spoken about - and definitely if Ron was there :P Having Slughorn as a constant through the story when there's a lot of new teachers and characters is a good move, and I can imagine him being thrilled to say he'd taught Ron and Hermione's daughter, as well as two of Harry's sons - and, of course, the trio themselves.  

 

Your characterisation of Lucy is interesting - the fact that her and Molly have been brought up to believe in networking fits quite well with Percy.  I'd be interested to read your characterisations of them in another story.

 

I liked James's determination in this chapter, too, and the fact that not everything is easy for them - the rules aren't bent straight away just because they're Potters, which I think a lot of stories do.  Your cast of characters is really interesting.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for all your reviews. I WILL get around to answering them all, but I am really busy at the moment between work and getting organised for Christmas. Tomorrow is basically get up at 6:30, go to work, come home, go to Mass (vigil for 8th of December), then make sure I have everything I need for work on Friday and the day is practically done. So it might be a while. I have two weeks off over Christmas anyway and don't have much to do from St. Stephen's Day (Boxing day) onwards so should get them answered then.

 

Really glad you liked the opening to the chapter and the pacing.

 

I will check the formatting and fix it at some point too. Thanks for pointing it out. Probably forgot to close a code at some point or else I was changing the coding from that used for HPFF and something got deleted.

 

Yes, I wanted to avoid having too many new teachers in the first year. Slughorn WILL retire before the series is out but I wanted to keep a few for the first story because it can get confusing when an author introduces an entire cast of new teachers. And populating them with characters from the books doesn't exactly seem likely either. I do have a few of Harry's old friends and other characters among the teaching staff, but I didn't want all or most of the teachers I introduce to be people he knew because that seems unlikely.

 

I've considered writing about Lucy and Molly but I'm not really sure exactly where to go. There is an interesting dynamic in that family that I could get quite a bit out of. 

 

I think maybe I have a slightly different perspective on the whole Potters thing, being Irish. I get the distinct impression that other countries like the UK and the US take far more interest in the families of powerful and famous people than we do. I would not recognise our President's children. I know ONE of their names (he has four kids). Our current Taoiseach doesn't have kids but our last one did and again, I don't know any of their names, nor would I recognise them. I only found out a few years ago that our president from 1990 to 1997 has a son about my age. Our last president is the one exception - I still wouldn't recognise her kids, well, possibly her son, but I have heard their names because she was always talking about them. I don't know if it's because we're a small country and most people know somebody related to somebody significant, so it's not such a big deal or if it's partly because the man who pretty much founded our state and his wife were absolutely adamant their private lives should remain private and they were not having their children exploited (there's a letter she wrote him when he was on the run while fighting for Irish freedom about how a paper had wanted to do a feature about their kids and how colonialism was robbing them of their father and stuff and she told the paper where to go!) 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2017 10:00 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: A Magical Education.

Hi again!

 

Ah, the second day - or first full day - at Hogwarts, and it's brilliant to see the way that you've managed to convey how new and exciting everything still is to Albus and the other children in his house.  The fact that he headed straight to the Gryffindor table when he went down to the Great Hall in the morning was kind of sad - I suppose it's going to take a while for him to get used to the fact that he's not going to be spending all the time with his brother and his cousins as he has been in the past.  But it's good to see that this will be a new adventure for him and he'll be able to have something for himself, too.

 

Rose reminds me so much of Hermione in the way that she already knows so much about the subjects and the way everything works at Hogwarts.  I wouldn't be surprised if she'd spent weeks memorising it all before she started.

 

I like having Derek there asking questions so that we find out the information about the setting and characters at the same time as the children do here.  It gives us that sense of entering the world anew.  And James not obeying all the rules doesn't surprise me.

 

I really enjoyed the way that you're building everything up here and starting the classes - there's so much to think about and it's so interesting to read and experience it all with Albus!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Yup, Rose has a good deal of Hermione in her but she isn't just Hermione Mark II. For one thing she is far more secure than Hermione was. She was raised in the wizarding world and feels far more confident of her place in it. There is a boggart chapter in Year 2 and her boggart is certainly not failing everything. She is also rather more hot-headed and has a temper. But she is smart and mature and politically aware like Hermione was. She's also quite protective.

 

I love creating classes and teachers. Hogwarts is a schools after all.

 

And yup, James does not exactly follow rules. He gets in a LOT of trouble.



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2017 09:56 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The First Night.

Here for the winter wonderland!

 

I like the idea of Albus in Ravenclaw. And I especially like that despite going to a different house than 98% of his family, the one cousin who's not a Gryffindor is a Ravenclaw so he still has someone he knows there. Poor kid though, being so nervous after his own sorting is done just because he wants to know about Rose. Before we've even met Rose in the story yet, I can already tell how close these two must be - excellent job showing that. And yay for her being in Ravenclaw too!

 

Filch is still there?! When is he going to retire? Considering he started when Harry's dad was at school (I think), Filch is basically part of the school by this point. How many years of  keeping troublemakers in line can that old man take? haha By this point he must have absolutely no patience for people like James Potter II. XD

 

I like the discussion between all of the new Ravenclaw boys at the end, and how things have changed since the end of the war. And it seems that Albus connects with the Muggle-borns a bit more than he does with the people from wizard families - which kinda makes sense as they wouldn't already have preconceived notions of who he is. I like that he helped them feel better about coming into a school of magic with no background by telling them about Hermione.

 

But I don't think Al gives himself enough credit. He wouldn't have been placed in Ravenclaw if he didn't belong there, so clearly he has what it takes.  I do understand him though and that sort of 'impostor syndrome'  of feeling like you're in over your head.

 

This was a wonderful starting chapter and I think it introduces the characters really well. I can't tell who's going to be main characters yet aside from Albus and probably Rose - it's at that point where everyone is friends with everyone as they've just started school but no really deep friendships have formed yet - I'll have to read on to see how things go! Great chapter.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review.

 

*laughs* Yes, Filch must be ancient, but witches and wizards live a long time so who knows what the rules are for Squibs? Logically I suppose their lifespan should be that of Muggles as Muggleborns have the same lifespans as purebloods, but Squibs don't necessarily seem to conform to the rules for Muggles in other areas. Filch can clearly see Hogwarts, although that MIGHT be a case of being able to see it if you know it is there, since the parents of the champions were invited to the Triwizard Tournament and there didn't seem to be any concern about the possibility of any of those being Muggleborn. And honestly, I'm using a bit of poetic licence anyway, as I don't want to introduce TOO many new characters in the first story so the focus can be on those I do introduce. And I think there is enough doubt to give me some leeway.

 

And yes, things are bound to have changed somewhat as a result of the war. The way the world is changing will become more evident in later stories. The first is mostly focussed on Hogwarts and it is really in Year 2 that the rest of wizarding Britain becomes more relevant.

 

Thanks again for the review and I hope you read on and enjoy the rest of the story.



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2017 09:53 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The First Night.

Hi Margaret!

 

It's been too long since I read any of your stories, and I thought I'd stop by and refresh myself with this story - plus, it deserves lots of HPFT love!

 

I really love the way that you capture children.  I think it's a real talent to write them well, and make sure that they sound natural and believable as the age that they are.  You did that really well here - Albus was very likeable and very believable as a young boy who's starting out on his next big adventure, but has so much pressure and expectation on him already.  I thought you portrayed him really well, and I liked his character.

 

The fact that so many of his family have gone to Hogwarts, and that they're so well known in the wizarding world, just adds to the sense of pressure on him.  I liked the way that Albus naturally thought of all the family members who were already at Hogwarts, and didn't want to disappoint anyone.

 

Once the initial fear has subsided, I loved the way that Albus started to feel the wonder and excitement of experiencing Hogwarts for the first time.  I've seen Albus sorted into each of the different houses before, but I can definitely see your Albus in Ravenclaw - and I think his place there is confirmed when he answers the riddle correctly on the first attempt (honestly, I'd be stuck outside for sure!).

 

I liked the way that Albus started getting to know the others in his house, too, and I'm glad that Rose is there with him as well; it'll make the transition a bit easier as he leaves home and starts at school.  It was sweet to see Derek questioning his place there in the same way that Harry did - and the way that the families evolve through the generations, but that Albus still tried to reassure Derek as best he could.  I'm looking forward to reading more of these characters!

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

Thanks again for the reviews. 

 

And I am really, really glad that you think I write children well. 10-13 year olds can be hard to write because they aren't really little kids but they aren't really teenagers either and it's easy to have them come across either too childish or too mature. I like Albus too. I like Rose as well, but a lot of readers don't as she is rather a know-all.



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 02:02 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: Easter.

transferred from CTF (HPFF)

 

29th April 2017:

 

Hi, Margaret, it’s my great pleasure to be back to you story at CTF Round 5 attack review. I know I started reading in the middle, but forgive me it’s the forums activity before we nominate for FROGS.

 

The title, Easter caught my eyes, we have no Easter celebration in my country so I’m eager to know how you will describe the celebration. I like the first paragraphs. I tried writing about Rose and Albus and I like your style where Albus got confused with all tests and worried about his coming next years and Rose gave him information. You mentioned Ravenclaw, so I guess Rose and Albus are Ravencalw.

 

I like the conversations between Albus and Derek. It’s a nice idea Potters set a box office number for Muggles preparing for Dark Wizards targeting them. I’m thrilled to find the spot you mentioned Harry in charge of Auror office. I also like the chat between James and Harry about Auror jobs. I’m thinking it’s a good plot to set policeman’s work in the story. I’ve read the similar one written by cambangst, of course it’s a very different situation, but I think it very good as well as yours. I wonder if you have stopped by some chapters of Dan’s COB. Just I wanted to say I remembered the scene where Ron got confused with Muggle Police system reading yours.

 

I’m Hinny shipper, so I’m so pleased with this spot : “You must call me Ginny and my husband is Harry.”

 

You captured Albus’s mind movement while he was waiting till their parents would finish their conversations very well. I really like you let Harry speak about his jobs to his family. And I like Ginny reproving two sons who were eager to speak a lot about their lives at Hogwarts.

 

Oh I want to try “large Honeydukes eggs” ! I also want to try eating “a chocolate bunny, that twitched their noses and bounced in their hands as if trying to escape” And “a chocolate egg, which morphed suddenly into a chocolate dragon and then back again.”! I feel happy for Albus comparing with his father, Harry’s poor child memory with Dursleys.

 

You showed me how to describe Weasleys gathering like family Quidditch games. There are plenty of cheerful dialogues, it’s fun to read them.

 

I was very impressed by the last scene with Teddy and I love “a new gramophone record of Teddy’s favourite skeleton band”!



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2017 10:05 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The First Night.

Hello! Here for CTF!

I've been meaning to get to this story for a while so I'm glad CTF is giving me the chance now! And I really enjoyed this first chapter, too! Sorting chapters are always so interesting! :D

I think I can see Albus as a Ravenclaw, and I loved that he was so surprised. It's always Gryffindor or Slytherin, so it's nice to see one of the other houses from time to time (as a Hufflepuff, I might be biased). It's lovely that Rose is in Ravenclaw as well, I loved the way he hugged her, you could tell how relieved he was.

And talking about the Sorting, I think you wrote the tension before it so well. I can totally get the anxiety building and the wait seeming aeternal. And on the contrary, the wish that time woud stop when the moment grows near... it reminds me of Uni exams...

Albus' roommates seem an interesting group so far. I like Derek, I love that he is so anxious because of his lack of knowledge of magic. But I guess all Muggleborns go through that, right? It won't last long.

Blackburn... is it a surname I should know? It rings a bell, but I can't remember, so I figured I'd ask. We'll see if she is a good teacher.

And I suppose Lucy is a Ravenclaw too? You didn't say explicitly, but since they were talking during dinner, I guess she is.

About the dinner... from the way you wrote it, it seems they didn't have time to eat at all, in the short space between McGonagall's speech and then her inviting them to go to bed... I know it doesn't really matter, but I thought I would point it out...

I can see why Albus would be worried about his house, Ravenclaw seems quite demanding to me. But I know the Hat (usually) knows what he does, so I'm not too worried. ;)

This was an interesting introduction to your story, hopefully I'll manage to get back again soon.

Lots of love,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review. Really glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 

I had a couple of reasons for placing Albus in Ravenclaw. From the epilogue, he actually seemed most like a Hufflepuff to me, but I have a really old (pre-Half Blood Prince) story in which Harry's son is in Hufflepuff and Albus reminded me a little of this character in the epilogue, so I was concerned that if I placed Albus there, I'd end up basically writing the same character again. Albus REALLY didn't seem like a Gryffindor or a Slytherin to me. The thing we most learn about him is how worried and nervous he is. Now any 11 year old would be, going to boarding school for the first time but he also seemed kind of nervous of his brother and easily picked on, which doesn't really fit the Gryffindor character. And he seems to dread the idea of being in Slytherin. Nor do we have any indication that he is particularly ambitious or devious. If anything, he seems rather innocent and trusting. And no son of Harry's is likely to be concerned with pureblood. The ambition is POSSIBLE but on the whole, not really. So that left Ravenclaw. Also I feel that when a character only considers two houses, unless we know enough about that character to know they could not possibly fit in the others, then they should not end up in either of those houses. If they do, it looks like it's the author and not the character who has forgotten about the remaining houses.

 

And Hufflepuff is my second favourite house after Ravenclaw. Those are definitely the only two I would fit in - honesty, cowardice and hatred of prejudice are some of my more defining characteristics, along with love of learning and ideas.

 

Blackburn isn't a canon character or OBVIOUSLY related to a canon character. I'm not going to say she's not related to any canon characters, because the question of who characters are related to does come up, but if she is, Albus and Rose (and the reader) aren't going to know it and it won't be as simple as her having the same name as that character.

 

As for whether or not she's a good teacher, that question will definitely be discussed quite a bit across the next few chapters. She might be somewhat erratic at times.

 

Yes, Lucy is in Ravenclaw.

 

Whoops, the issue with the meal was from transferring all my stories in a relatively short period of time. I obviously transferred an older version of this chapter that I hadn't fixed that in. It's fixed now.

 

Thanks again for the awesome review. I really appreciate it.



Name: sunshinedaisieswindmills (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2017 01:50 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The First Night.

Hiya! I'm here for CTF! I’ve been meaning to stop by and check out some more of your work since I reviewed your story for the After Effects challenge! I really appreciated the mention of Lydia, I’m looking forward to seeing her from the students’ perspective.

This is an interesting start to a story! I’d never considered Albus as a Ravenclaw, but I think it’s a really interesting concept. Far too often you have Albus sorted into Slytherin and having an identity crisis. It’s nice to see him deal with being put in a different house. I also really liked that Rose and Lucy were in Ravenclaw as well! It was really interesting to see Albus’s feeling of being alone but not totally isolated from his family. I’m really looking forward to seeing future interactions between them as the three outsiders of the family. I’m also really looking forward to seeing Albus interact with the rest of the family, I’m super excited to see how the family reacts to this news, especially Ron! He’s not exactly the best at dealing with change, so I’m sure it’s going to be fun to see him deal with this.

 

You’ve done a wonderful job of drawing in the reader, I’m really looking forward to seeing this play out! I’ll definitely be back after CTF to read some more! 



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review.

 

Lydia is probably my favourite character here, though I am fond of Albus too.

 

I had a number of reasons for placing Albus in Ravenclaw. He really doesn't strike me as a Slytherin at all in the epilogue. He doesn't seem at all cunning - James appears to be the more cunning one and Albus the rather naive one who gets taken advantage of. No son of Harry's is likely to be concerned with pureblood and while he may have a desire to prove himself - there are some hints in that direction - he doesn't really seem pushy enough to be a Slytherin. Nor does he seem courageous or like a daredevil. That leaves Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. To be honest, he seems to fit the Hufflepuff stereotype best from the little we see of him, in my opinion, but I previously wrote a story with Harry's son in Hufflepuff. I also feel that when a character ignores two of the houses, unless it is blatantly obviously that he (or she) would not fit in them, then they SHOULD end up in one of them. Otherwise it looks like it's the writer who has forgotten there are other houses. Now, if James was wondering if he would end up in Gryffindor or Slytherin, I would still feel happy enough about placing him in one of them because readers could well guess that he wasn't considering the other two as everybody was pretty convinced he would never end up in a house focussed on academia or hardwork and kindness. But from what we see of Albus, there is no indication these traits don't fit him and it seems as if he just hasn't considered the houses because they aren't the ones James talks much about.

 

Thanks again for the review and I really hope you enjoy the rest of the story.



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 22 Mar 2017 07:12 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: A Magical Education.

Here I am again for a Nargles review :)

This was another fun chapter to read, and the story is developing really nicely.

I thought it was a bit odd that Albus should automatically head for the Gryffindor table on his first morning at school, given that he probably wouldn't be that familiar with table layouts after only one night at Hogwarts? I'm also curious as to whether, deep down, he was expecting to be Sorted into Gryffindor. There's a bit that confused me (easily done - my caffeine levels are terribly low at the moment) where Lucy was included in the relatives that Albus saw in "red and gold" - I thought she was a Ravenclaw? It's entirely possible I've got the wrong end of the stick, I do apologise if so!

I dread to think how old Slughorn must be; wow that he's still teaching potions in the 21st Century! Given he was Tom Riddle's teacher between 1938 and 1945, he must be pretty archaic by now. It's a good job that witches/wizards last much longer than muggles.

I love love love that you're tackling the academic side of school in this next-generation fic, and not just conveniently forgetting that the kids are there to learn, not just develop social skills (and explore broom cupboards dring their later years)! Poor Nathan with the bouncing bulbs, but if anyone can sympathise and reassure him, it's Neville :)

I've really enjoyed this fic so far!

Brax X



Author's Response:

Thanks again for the reviews.

 

His heading to the Gryffindor table is largely due to the fact his brother and most of his cousins are there and he was expecting to join them. Checked the Lucy thing and I suspect that was related to an edit or getting interrupted as I was writing it and mixing up the cousins he learnt about Hogwarts from with the cousins who were in Gryffindor. Thanks for drawing attention to it. I've edited that now so it actually makes sense.

 

Yeah, keeping Slughorn was probably pushing it, although Dumbledore was still teaching in 1996 and he was apparently born in the 1880s (1881, I think because I think he was born a year before de Valera -Irish politician and revolutionary leader who had previously been a teacher and who Dumbledore sounds rather like on occasion). We don't know when Slughorn was born but if he was born in say 1910, he would still be younger in this than Dumbledore was in Half Blood Prince. My main reason for keeping him is that I didn't want to introduce too many new teachers in the first story. I want to give people a chance to get to know each of the new teachers I plan on introducing through the series, so I wanted to keep as many of the canon teachers as possible for the first book. He won't stick around for the full seven years.

 

I don't know how people manage to write teenage characters without discussing school issues (unless the characters are the type who genuinely don't care, skip more often than they attend and drop out as soon as they reach the relevant age in their country). In my experience, school, teachers and homework loom pretty large in the lives of most children and teenagers. Particularly in the last year or two when the coming exam pretty much rules your life, but even at 11 or 12, when you probably only have about an hour's homework after school, there are still worries like "I forgot to do my Maths homework last night; my teacher is going to kill me" or "what if I fail this test and everybody thinks I'm stupid?" or even "my best friend chose somebody else to be his/her partner on our class project. Does that mean he/she doesn't like me any more?" And it's even more true in a boarding school where, if you mess up and the teacher gets annoyed at you, you probably have to face them at dinner that evening.

 

Glad you enjoyed this and thanks again for the reviews.



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 22 Mar 2017 06:39 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The First Night.

Hello :)

The Nargles brought me here. I would have arrived sooner for some reviewing, but you know, RL and all that. Anyway, I don't think I've had the pleasure of reading any of your stories, so let's remedy that :)

The title of this story "The Writing on the Wall" brings to mind HP book two (CoS) for some reason?

So, the first chapter kicks off with Albus's Sorting, which is a great place to start; doesn't everyone want to know who is in which Hogwarts House, after all? I can imagine Albus is feeling quite anxious about the process (I'll assume this follows DH's epilogue) after James taunted him before boarding the train. Also family pressure to follow in footsteps and the fact he's a Potter and he probably felt like the whole world was watching him. Poor boy!

I do love recognising surnames in next-gen fic and trying to remember who from the previous generation they might be related to. Rasmus - possibly one of Bathilda's descendants? Glynis Bones most likely linked to Susan? Abric Fletcher caused some consternation as the only Fletcher I could think of was Mundungus - and now I'm aghast that Mundungus may have actually succeeded in procreating. HOW? How was that possible? A love potion, I'm guessing? Yikes! Anyway...

I like Albus being a Ravenclaw. I can see how what we know about him so far would make him a likely candidate for that house. Rose in Ravenclaw too? Partners in crime from the off :)

I enjoyed this chapter; it was well-written and structured, easy and enjoyable to follow. I look forward to reading more.

Brax X



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review. And of COURSE real life always comes first.

 

Hmm, that comment about Chamber of Secrets is pretty well noticed. If you read on, a connection will eventually become clear. *grins*

 

I love Next Generation sortings. You often get an indication of how the writer is going to portray various characters from which houses they place them in and sometimes you even get a hint at where the story might be going - for example a Weasley in Slytherin is likely to mean conflict. And yes, this takes place after the epilogue.

 

I'm quite amused at your response to a Fletcher appearing. I have some fun with him in the second year.

 

Thanks again for the review.



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2017 06:35 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The First Night.

Hi, Margaret. I came back to your story. 

Thank you for dropping your review on my entry the other day. I enjoyed reading your thoughtful comments.

 

Whoa, both Albus and Rose were sorted to Ravenclaw? How schoking... I'm afraid it's a crisis for Gryffindor house (I'm in a very Oliver-like or Ron-like mood right now :p ) I'm sure Harry and Hermione will understand though. On the contrary, Ron will say something about that. I'm eager to read how you will write about him. I wonder why the Sorting Hat hesitated to tell 'Slytherin' to Scorpius. Did he have any Gryffindor qualities? I'm curious.

I like you continue to portray Albus as a student who lacks self-confidence and hates to be seen in the spotlight. I guess it's important from the start where he may develop the relationship with his new friends  or find that he has a lot of abilities. It's a very promising start.

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your review.

 

*grins* To be honest, Albus struck me mostly as a Hufflepuff in the epilogue, but I've already written a story where Harry had a son in Hufflepuff and as Albus reminds me a little of that character, I was afraid that putting him in Hufflepuff would really end in my writing the same character again. So I thought Ravenclaw seemed like the next best fit. Also Albus seems to forget there ARE other houses apart from Slytherin and Gryffindor in the epilogue and when a character ignores something like that, I think they should be surprised. Otherwise it comes across as if it's the author that has forgotten them.

 

I thought for a long enough time about how to portray Scorpius. He has often been portrayed as another Draco and a rival for Albus and other times as a friend and a future love interest for either Albus or Rose, so I wanted to do something a bit different. He's not quite the typical Slytherin here.

 

Glad you liked the first chapter of this story.



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 02 Jan 2017 12:38 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: The First Night.

Hi, there! Congratulations on your featured story!

 

I liked the way you paced the sorting. Taking your time and letting the scene progress through the alphabet was really effective at building up Albus's anxiety and giving the reader time to explore all of his thoughts.

 

“That’s what your father said as well.” The hat sounded smug, as if it had expected his response. Good old hat. It's actually a bit of a jerk sometimes. I think that adds something to its personality, however.

 

And you didn't end the suspense after Albus's sorting. It's obvious that being with Rose is important to him. Two newly-minted Ravenclaws! It will be interesting to see what sorts of trouble then can get into together.

 

I liked the scene with the Ravenclaw door knocker. Maybe Albus is starting to discover that there are many kinds of intelligence. Not all of them come from a book.

 

I hope Albus will become good friends with Derek. Always great to have a Muggleborn friend to add that extra perspective.

 

Nice start to your story! And again, congratulations!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review.

 

I'm glad you enjoyed the sorting scene. I always enjoy both reading and writing them. They give a certain amount of insight into the various characters, both with where they are sorted and how they react to that.

 

I think Albus would far prefer to avoid trouble, but of course, it's not going to be that easy.

 

Thanks again.



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 05 Nov 2016 11:00 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Writing on the Wall. Chapter: A Magical Education.

Hello again!

 

I think in my last review I forgot to mention how much I'm liking Derek and Rasmus so far (and they are both super awesome names). I especially like how Derek is a Muggle-born, because i feel like it still makes the first-year of Hogwarts new and exciting (seeing it through him, sort of) even though Albus has grown up within the world. It makes for a nice balance, at any rate :) Although Derek really is clueless at times!

 

Oh gosh, of course Binns is still teaching, haha! And I love Neville as a teacher, especially when he spoke to Nathan about being clumsy! That was such a wonderful thing to include :)

 

A lovely set-up chapter, I look forward to the next one!



Author's Response:

I don't think Binns will ever stop teaching, although a lot of people probably wish he would. And yes, I liked the idea of Neville sort of coming full circle too and sort of giving confidence to students like Remus did for him.

 

I'm glad you like Derek and Rasmus. It was a bit difficult to create the sheer number of background characters that were needed and to keep some mystery going about which are going to become significant and which are just there to add some numbers or as red herrings.

 

There are about one or two more set-up chapters and then the mystery begins in earnest.



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