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Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 18 Aug 2018 01:07 AM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: One By One

Review for quodpot, match 1, friends to lovers theme!

 

First let me get my excitement out of the way: AHHHH HANNAH AND SUSAN ARE AT A DANCE TOGETHER! That's so exciting and awesome and yay!

 

I was about to ask what All Hallow's Eve was, assuming it was a wizarding holiday you invented, but I googled it and All Hallow's Eve is actual a real holiday! That's rather exciting. I'm glad your fic is teaching me information as well. :)

 

Okay, if and when I get a girlfriend, Hannah is constantly going to be me: I'll just be thinking "she's beautiful, she's beautiful" just like Hannah. I'm going to be a complete idiot just like her; I already know it.

 

I just love how happy Hannah is in this chapter. She's just perfectly content on everything. Of course, dancing with a beautiful girl will do that to you.

 

I would also just like to point out that even though each chapter is so short, it's so concise and to the point that despite the limited number of words we know everything that's going on and the full story. I really admire how you do that.

 

Evidently for the purposes of this fic we're using the Matthew Lewis version of Neville Longbottom, I believe! Because he magically went through puberty and became very handsome.

 

I was wondering about the whole Neville Longbottom thing. I know, canonc-wise, Hannah marries Neville. But I didn't know whether you were still going for that as the eventual end goal, or if you were scrapping that piece of information. I guess I'm going to get my answer!



Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 18 Aug 2018 12:32 AM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Don't Call Me, I'll Call You

Review for quodpot, match one, friends to lovers theme!

 

Wait a minute, lemme get this straight- THEY KISSED! Yes, yes YES!

 

Man, I really wish we spent some more time on that first kiss. We really got only a few sentences.

 

I have to admit, I had never heard of polyamorous before reading this fic, and I actually googled it, even though the story itself provided a pretty good explanation. I'm not sure why I hadn't heard of it. But I'm glad you had Susan be polyamorous, because it adds extra layer to the story. This isn't your typical lesbian love story; it's a very unusual set of circumstances. So good for you.

 

This really makes me wonder about Hannah and Susan's future. Either Hannah will come to accept that Susan will kiss other woman, or Susan will decide to only be with Hannah, or the relationship won't work out. It's a very precarious situation that I see the two of them in right now.

 

Is Hannah living with Susan right now? Or does she have her own place? I understand this story is told in little snippets of time, so we never quite get the complete picture, so it's probably irrelevant to the overall story. I'm just curious. Or, maybe we'll find out later!

 

Another problem- I know Hannah started falling for Susan before breaking up with Ernie, but I can't feel like it is rather soon to move onto Susan, just because she was with Ernie for so many years. Shouldn't she take a breather to figure stuff out before moving on with Susan? Or is moving on the best thing for her to recover?

 

And awww that kiss at the end of the chapter makes up for all their difficultues. It's just so adorable, and I loved how you described Hannah's feelings at that moment. And I like the promise Susan whispers to her. I really, really hope they can work stuff out.



Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 14 Aug 2018 08:51 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: I Won't Love You Anymore (Sorry)

Okay, review for quodpot, match one, friends to lovers theme!

 

Well the song lyrics certainly fetch the tone for this chapter, doesn't it? She's going to leave him.

 

THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER SEVEN YEARS???? That's a long time. Usually people who have been together that long are married by now but that doesn't even seem to be a thought in their minds. (Unless they are married and I just don't know about it.)

 

Walking through a place that is unchanged, but changed for you, is a rather surreal experience. I get what Hannah's going through. It seems like so much has happened but there's no sign of it anywhere.

 

I mean, Hannah is right in that Ernie owes her an explanation, but... she didn't even explain. Ernie has absolutely no idea why she just walked out. Shouldn't they at least try to end their relationship on okay-ish terms?

 

Also, Hannah's still going to have to come back and get the rest of her stuff. So she hasn't seen the last of Ernie, I don't think.

 

I do think it's telling that the first thing Ernie says isn't "where were you" or "why weren't you here last night". It's "you look like a tramp". Hmmm, that's not very nice.

 

HANNAH IS FREE to be with her one true love, Susan Bones! (Have you noticed that I ship them now?) 

 

And the "something better for me out there" is SUSAN. Hannah's going to go get together with SUSAN. (Sorry, I'm very happy about this.)



Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 14 Aug 2018 07:17 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: I'm Coolin', No Foolin'

Review for quodpot, match 1, friends to lovers theme!

 

I know they're talking about Ernie but SUSAN/HANNAH INTERACTION! So much of their interaction is implied or discussed but not actually shown...

 

Can I say that cursing Hannah is weirdly kind of... cute? I know that she's mad and she has every right to curse, it's just... interesting. Sort of adorable.

 

I love how Susan just tries to be a sympathetic ear during all of this and just help out her friend. It's all very sweet and pure. (I feel like I've been saying that sort of thing a lot...)

 

Ugh I feel so bad for Hannah. That must be truly awful to know that your boyfriend cheated on you, but still love him? Gosh, that's hard. That makes it hurt a lot worse.

 

And yes, when you've been with someone for so long it can be hard to definie yourself outside of them. I imagine that'll be difficult for Hannah. But as Susan says, "She'll learn." Hopefully Susan will be by her side to help figure it out. And maybe the two of them will finally get together? :) :) I really hope so.

 

Aw Hannah doesn't think sleeping at Susan's isn't that bad. :) So sweet.

 

Well, Ernie probably has figured out that Hannah knows if she doesn't come home. That's good. I'm glad Hannah isn't trying to pretend that she doesn't know. Now comes the awful discussion between her and Ernie...



Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 14 Aug 2018 06:18 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: You Didn't Look 'Round

Review for quodpot, match 1, friends to lovers theme.

 

Okay, so like... Hannah's feelings on monday mornings is just my general mood. Monday morning? That's still practically the weekend! I feel that.

 

Aw, that's really sad that Ernie dismisses the polyamory talk. Although, Hannah, sweetie... you probably shouldn't have brought it up at that moment. Don't bring it up when Ernie is rushing to go to work. She should have mentioned it when they're relaxed and comfortable in the evening. Still, at least she tried.

 

It's really sweet how Hannah goes to Ernie's work just to give him his lunch. Although, when you have apparition on your side, I suppose it isn't as inconvenient for her as it is for us muggles. :)

 

OKAY FORGOT EVERYTHING I SAID PREVIOUS CHAPTERS ABOUT FEELING A BIT BAD FOR ERNIE. He's kissing someone else? This Norma person? But-but Hannah!

 

And poor Hannah! Ernie doesn't even see her, so he doesn't know that she saw! I really hope Hannah works up the courage to tell him and doesn't just keep it to her herself.

 

Also, kissing in broad view of everyone at work is very bold. Most affairs are more secretive. Like... even though Ernie's not expecting Hannah to come in, if another coworker saw this, wouldn't they be like, "Ernie, I thought you were dating Hannah?"

 

I feel very, very bad for thinking this but... at least this leaves room for Hannah/Susan, right?



Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 14 Aug 2018 05:01 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: It's A Happening World

Review for quodpot, match one, friends to lovers theme!

 

This is their THIRD weekend together this is making me so happy and barely anything's even happened between them. Guess it's just their general, beautiful vibe together? :)

 

THEY ADMITTED THEY LOVE EACH OTHER! This makes me so happy! I mean, we all knew they loved each other, but they just said their feelings out loud! Yay!

 

Poor Hannah is so confused and town between Ernie and Susan. I would not want to be in her position.

 

Susan's sentiment near the end is just so relevant, and so well put. People complicate things unnecessarily. Love doesn't have to be drama, it can just be beautiful and pure and simple. Or to put it another way: love is love.

 

I also agree with Susan about making up "rules" and such. Love can just be as simple as dong what your heart tells you to do. She's right, we do complicate it way too much.

 

I agree that Ernie needs to be told about Hannah/Susan, because honesty in a relationship is very important. But, that has to be a very, very difficult conversation to have. And if you don't even understand all your feelings yourself, how are you supposed to explain it to someone else?

 

Overall, I think the big takewaway from this chapter is Susan's philosophy on life and love. It's so simple. I love it.



Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 14 Aug 2018 04:24 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

Review for quodpot, match one, friends to lovers theme.

 

Aw, Hannah trying to hold back her smile, feeling as if her heart is glowing... that's so wonderful. She's totally in love with Susan. Totally, totally. And I now relate to Hannah a lot, because I know exactly that happy feeling she's getting. I've gotten it too.

 

Awww Hannah and Susan had peppermint cocoa together? That's absolutely adorable. I'm so happy for them, and also extremely jealous. I want peppermint cocoa!

 

But... NOOO! She's dating Ernie? Ernie Macmillan? Why? She should be with Susan! Argh that makes me so mad. Why can't they be single. :( I wonder if Susan's single...

 

Not only is she dating Ernie, but she's enthusiastic about it to? She kisses him, she says she loves him... ugh. But now I feel very bad for Hannah, because once she reconciles her feeling for Susan, she's going to have to decide between Ernie and Susan. That's a decision nobody should have to make.

 

Poor Ernie thinks Hannah and Susan are just friendly. He doesn't deserve their complicated feelings for each other.

 

It's also amazing how... comfortable Hannah seems to be with Ernie. It seems to be that they truly love one another, and they've clearly been together for a very long time. Which means that poor Hannah has a lot of choices to make. Poor, poor Hannah.

 

Great chapter! Ernie dating Hannah just threw a wrench into everything but I'm sure it'll work out.



Name: Phoenix Potioneer (Signed) · Date: 14 Aug 2018 03:56 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Fools Rush In

Review for quodpot, match one, friends to lovers theme!

 

Okay, one chapter in and I am in love with this story already. The description is just so, so good! It's amazing! The way you effortlessly capture the energy and the complicated feelings between Susan and Hannah is spectacular. You don't explicitly say "Hannah's in love with Susan", we all just know.

 

I wonder why they haven't seen each other since Hogwarts. Is it because of the battle? Did they lose a friend and it was just too painful? Were their feelings for one another too painful and that's why they stopped seeing each other? I'm really curious about this.

 

There's something really cool about this unspoken attraction going on between Susan and Hannah. They barely say a word, just their names, but through the description you just know that there's so many complicated feelings going around the both of them at the moment.

 

I find it funny how Hannah briefly wonders if they're going to get a room at the inn. :) Adorable wish.

 

I wonder what they're going to talk about in the Leaky Cauldron.

 

I know I already mentioned the description, but I just have to mention is again! You have fabulous word choice here. Especially when Hannah is describing everything she feels and sees in Susan's eyes... it makes me so happy. :)

 

Also, I would just like to point out that Susan/Hannah is such an adorable idea for a ship and that I'm really glad you decided to write this.

 

Can't wait to read on!

 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 25 May 2018 03:28 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Run Bobby Run

Hi, Sam, dear! :)

I had to take the chance to go on with this awesome story... :P

Ah, this is so cute, I love it! This story is just so super fluffy and such a great way to lift my spirit! The relationship between Hannah and Susan gets more and more wonderful, I love their complicity and how they are just so natural and relaxed and happy around each other. And I love that they can just talk about Hannah wanting to date Neville with such naturalness and how Susan supports and encourages her and even plots with her, it's so wonderful!

The way you describe their intimacy is so sweet and I love it. Also, the way Hannah keeps getting distracted by Susan, it's so fun and so sweet, too. And that paragraph about Hannah constantly smiling... aww, I just adore it, I love seeing them so happy!

Now I'm really curious to see how things with Neville will go. I know that Hannah and Neville are supposed to get together and Neville is a sweetheart, so I expect that it will work out just fine. But I'm still super curious, so I'll need to remember to come back soon. :D

Wonderful job, as always! Thank you for making me smile tonight!

Huge snowball hug rolling your way,

Chiara



Name: Your Obliviator (Anonymous) · Date: 07 May 2018 11:05 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: One By One

Transferred from offsite at request of the author

Originally left on 08/14/2016

Hello dear Jo!

It is I, Your Obliviator here to grace you with my presence, and then make you forget me.

First of all, I'm crying. This story is one of very few that has made me cry buckets, so you should be commended.

This story cuts to the core. It is deeply emotional, and definitely gives an insight into the thoughts and feelings of a woman who so desperately wants a child of her own, to hug and to hold, but can't.

I like the way that you explored her emotions deeply, not rubbishing them.

As you said in your A/N, you're concerned about the POV used, but you shouldn't be worrying at all! The way you've explored Hannah is perfect, and I just want to hug you!

And that cliffy ending! I need more! Soon!

Spelling off,

Your Obliviator

P.S. Look out for me, I'll be stopping by some other places soon to Obliviate you as I am leaving gifts for a challenge but you must not know my name yet.



Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 05 May 2018 10:36 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: You Name It

Sam, I am a fool.

 

I don't know why I didn't come back to finish this fic forever ago. And reading this chapter, I especially don't know why because mercy, I remembered that this was a great fic but I forgot how much this fic resonates for me. Which, all things considered, is absolutely ridiculous of me haha

 

Anyways, HELLO! <3

 

Hannah is so adorable in this. I love how she's all flustered. Also, I love that she describes Neville as solid, because if I think back to their early days at Hogwarts, I'm pretty sure no one would have described him that way, but now they do. And you know I adore Neville so much, and I adore Hannah, and I adore them for adoring each other. So, good feelings all around, really. haha

 

ALSO, I love Neville for loving Hannah as she is, for accepting all the parts of her, even if he might be a little unused to poly. (I read that in his phrasing of "the polyamory thing")

 

Hannah rambling on to clarify that she's a feminist (essentially) is so perfect, thank you for that.

 

Most best thing: "It is different, yes. He is different and I am different around him. Just being near Neville Longbottom makes everything inside me that was once quiet begin to fractal into new, endless patterns and thoughts and feelings. Every word that comes haphazardly tumbling out of my mouth feels like a discovery, and I don’t want to miss a single one."

^^A love that is different is not better or worse. Love is not rankable. I love how you expressed her experience of this as a new, different love, without in becoming competitive.

 

Eeep, Sam, this is kind of a short review but I'm tired now. I'm sorry. Anyway, your writing is like happy clouds and i love it. 

 

xoxo Renee



Name: BellaLestrange87 (Signed) · Date: 30 Mar 2018 05:50 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Fools Rush In

*review transferred from HPFF*

 

This was really cute! I love the unspoken chemistry between them, without even needing to say anything.

This line here is perfect - There is a light in her eyes that keeps me searching – it is buried deep inside, beyond twists and turns, but it is there and it is glowing for me.

I'm really impressed by how you managed to fit 22 years of history (well, 17, I guess, if they haven't seen each other since Hogwarts) into a 500-word chapter so seamlessly. It feels very natural and perfect.

I really loved this and I'll be back soon to review the next chapter!

~Olivia



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2018 03:13 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: One By One

 Hello, lovely Sam!

I'm here reviewing for the Newsletter crew as a thank you for your nomination for featured puffs. :) (I'm here also because I love this story...)

I'll try to make it a review-as-I-read thing, let's see how it goes... :P

I am hers in body and in soul, and yet I am more my own than I have ever been. This sentence is beautiful. Is practically the definition of what love should be... I guess? And it feels me with happiness, knowing everything she's been through and the complete opposite way she's lived her relationship with Ernie. I guess I'm just happy to see her so happy! Also, dancing... dancing is the most wonderful thing, isn't it? From your opening I actually thought about something else... *cough* But yeah, I love dancing, it makes me feel alive and free! Erm... am I rambling too much?

Their exchange after the dancing was super cute! No, really, Hannah is just adorable, and I so love the way Susan playfully mocks her, and I love how they cuddle together. It's just so sweet, like the sweetest of sweet. I really love it. And once again I'm so happy to see them both so happy. :)

This is my eyes being opened as I feel the full possibilities of the world around me Hannah's perceptions are changing and it is so interesting to read. It's like she's seeing the world for the first time, which is so exciting. I'm still not sure I fully understand, but I know that this is what she needs, and I'm happy for her. Also, her thinking that Susan is cute when she flirts, and not feeling any jealousy at all, is so cute as well. :)

Aww... Neville! Yes, I bet he's super cute! And now I can't wait to see how he will get and fit into the picture... he's going to marry her, after all, right? :P This is such a great ending! I'm so excited! I'll try to come back soon for more! :D

Thank you so much again for your nomination! And wonderful job with this chapter, this story is so lovely!

Snowball hug rolling your way!

Chiara



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 04:28 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Start the Party Again

Sam!  I can't believe I've made it to the end of this wonderful story <3

 

This was such a brilliant final chapter.  Brilliant, but slightly evil too?  

 

I still feel like I'm on tenterhooks after the ending of the last chapter - I really want to know what the choice that Hannah made was, and how everyone around her has been affected by it.  Especially since you've talked about writing a follow-up to this story and are probably going to torture us with it, and I'm more than a little scared about which of (or how badly) my babies are going to be hurt.

 

Still, it was a really clever way to end this - the fact that you've completely avoided the pronouns means that everyone's happy because we can almost choose to believe our own ending for this - we can believe that Hannah has ended up with Neville, or Susan, or both of them, and it's so intelligent to end this story in particular like this.

 

I'm going to go with Hannah's gone and married Neville but she's still with Susan too, okay?  Please don't shatter my heart.

 

Really, the most important thing that I've taken from this chapter is how contented Hannah seems with her life - it really feels like she's happy with her decision and she's made a choice that she loves living with.  And that's really lovely to know.

 

I've loved reading this story - I love Hannah's character and the way that she's been shaped through her experiences, and also the new ideas that you've exposed me to with it.  Your writing is beautiful and wonderful, and thank you so much for writing this story and sharing it with all of us <3

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 04:15 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: I Just Don't Know If I Can

For the first time in any of the chapters in this story, the conversation opening this chapter between Susan and Hannah felt really awkward.  You could practically see that there was something unsaid hanging in the room between them that Hannah was afraid to voice - and I think that Susan was afraid to hear.

 

Okay, so.  I'm really happy that Neville has asked Hannah to marry him, because that's what he wants - and I think that's what Hannah wants too, really, because if she didn't then she'd be going to Susan to talk about it and try and work out what to do about it.

 

And I'm really glad that while Neville wants to be monogamous, he isn't asking Hannah to do that, because he understands who she is and what's important to her.  I do wonder if Hannah is doing something that she's rebelled against so often in this story here, though - conforming to the standard expectations of marriage.  I worry that she's going to agree to monogamy with Neville and then regret it, or agree for the wrong reasons, and end up unhappy.

 

Susan here - Susan <3 She was so calm and collected, but at the same time, regardless of Hannah's frustration, you could see her trying not to crumble at the prospect of losing Hannah, whom she loves so deeply.  We've seen what the effects of losing someone like that can be for Susan, and it's heartbreaking to think it might happen again.  And this after Hannah's begged Susan not to leave her, and Susan's said that she's not going anywhere - I'm worried about the decision that Hannah's going to make...

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 04:05 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: It's Gotta Be You

Ooh, I definitely wasn't expecting this chapter!

 

I don't know why, but after his "attempt" at polyamory (read: cheating on Hannah.  Still bitter about that, if you hadn't guessed), I didn't really think that it would be something that Neville would try and explore again.  But again, like in other chapters, I think this shows the way that their relationship is developing and they're growing as people, and I think it's fair for him to try dating other people, if he wants to.

 

Hannah was so adorable here - and you captured her emotions brilliantly.  Her joy and happiness for Neville when he talked about having met someone who was pretty amazing was so, so lovely - it's so in character for her - and then we see the fear creeping back in that Neville has found someone he likes better than her, who's going to replace her, and the old wound starts opening up again.  It's so sad that Hannah has been so badly hurt in the past and that it's still affecting her, but I think that's very believable; and at least this time Neville was dating people with her consent.

 

And then the ending!  Hannah had me worried about what Neville was going to say about the person that he'd met, but it was her all along and it was so, so sweet to read and lovely to see them so happy together here <3

 

AND IS THAT A PROPOSAL???

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 03:58 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Summer Symphony

This was such an intense and passionate chapter - it felt a little different to the other chapters that I've read in this story so far, and I found that really interesting.  Again, we see the way that being with someone different brings out a very different side to Hannah - and I'm sure that she shares moments of passion and intensity like this with both Susan and Neville, but we haven't seen that, and this was really fun to read.

 

I liked seeing Hannah meeting with another person and that she's still being very open to different opportunities at the moment.  I'd actually really enjoy reading more about Nat at some point - that moment when Hannah accidentally triggers something for her has me really intrigued about what it is in her past that's caused that.

 

Seeing the fire and passion in Hannah here was really enjoyable to read, but you managed to maintain the lovely writing style that characterises every other chapter in this story - and mozzarella sticks sound like a perfect way to end this chapter!  (Also now I'm hungry - it's like you're TRYING to distract me!)

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 03:51 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Maybe I Know

"We are a daisy chain of ice cream cones and lovers."  Sam, this is such a stunning and adorable opening line, and I'm amazed by it.  Honestly, I want to know how to write like this.

 

I know that there aren't any really obvious markers of time in this story - no definitive statements about how long has passed since the previous chapter - but I'm finding that I don't feel like I need them in this story anyway.  Your writing is so talented and masterful that you show us how much time has passed with the way that the characters' relationships and personalities have changed and grown, and it's brilliant.

 

I'm glad that Hannah and Neville seem to have been able to move on from the last chapter and are in a much better place now.  I think maybe even what Neville did might have made him more accepting and understanding of Hannah's polyamory and how important Susan is to her.

 

After the intensity and pain in the last chapter, I really enjoyed the lighter feel of this chapter, and the way that the three of them get on so well.  I can definitely imagine that the three of them walking the way they are would ellicit stares from passers-by, and I loved their different attitudes to that.  Neville seems unconcerned, Susan is used to it, and Hannah is getting fired up by it.

 

Her passion is so amazing and really endearing - and I really like the way that Neville admires that about her, too.  He's slowly getting back into my good books...

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 03:42 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Judy's Turn To Cry

So... I don't really know how I feel about Neville at the moment?  I'm hoping that you're wanting us to feel this way, because I'm having a lot of conflicting feelings in this chapter.  I haven't forgiven Neville yet - not properly - but I also get the impression that, even though Hannah has relented a little and allowed Neville to explain here, and wanted him to stay, she hasn't fully forgiven him either, and I'm glad about that.

 

What Neville did was a really awful thing - and I'm glad that he knows that, and that it's so obvious in his every word and action in this chapter.  He should be ashamed of what he's done, because he's hurt Hannah in the most horrible way, and he had so many opportunities to explore the concept of polyamory openly and with her acceptance that he really has no excuse for doing it behind her back.

 

I mean, he knows that, and I'm glad that he didn't try and explain it away or ask for forgiveness.  Just the fact that he's here and wants to talk to her shows how much this relationship means to him.

 

The imagery about the knife in Hannah's chest is beautiful.

 

This chapter hurt my heart.  I'm glad that they're still together, and I want them to succeed and be happy, but I think that there's a lot of trust issues to work through here to move forward.

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 03:31 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Just Let Me Cry

Ugh, I feel so badly for Hannah all the way through this chapter.  And I kind of want to throw something at both Neville and Ernie.  Actually, Ernie deserves more of a punishment because he's had such an effect on her that even ages afterwards, she's suffering for his infidelity.  Can we lock him into the Chamber of Secrets for a while or something?

 

Hannah's heartbreak in this chapter is just so tangible - even in the moments when she's trying to hold a conversation with Susan that's vaguely normal, the pain is still there at the edges of her words and I feel so sorry for her.  She doesn't deserve this.

 

Hannah's right - Neville's betrayal hurts even more than Ernie's because she was so honest with him about the idea of polyamory, offered him - even encouraged - opportunities for him to explore it too, and he promised her that he wanted to be monogamous and that he only wanted her.

 

I think that the differences in the reactions to Ernie and Neville show a lot about the depths of Hannah's feelings for each other them, too - the silence and quiet here, the way that she's just trying to hold herself together and stop the pain from shattering her entirely, shows that she cares so much more deeply for Neville than she ever really did for Ernie.

 

I was so glad that Susan was there to comfort Hannah, and that when Hannah told her what she needed in this moment, she went along with it.  I think that's just the sort of person Susan is, and Hannah needs her right now, but she's right - sometimes you need quiet and space to wallow and hurt, and this is one of those days.

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 03:18 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: It's My Party

The opening lyrics to this chapter are... worrying.

 

"Susan leans in to kiss me farewell, a kiss that is at once a ‘hello’ a ‘goodbye’ and an ‘I love you.’"  This line is also worrying.  I'm not even sure why because I think it's a positive thing, since Hannah comes across so happily here, and has been enjoying the night so much.  I think it's the "goodbye" which worries me.  

 

The opening actually sounds pretty light and happy but it fills me with a real sense of foreboding.

 

Ah, it's so sweet that Hannah is so happy to have both Susan and Luna there at her birthday and that she likes seeing them together because of how happy and good they look together.

 

But, but... 

 

NEVILLE WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING DON'T YOU DARE GO OUTSIDE WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND LEAVE HANNAH ALONE.  ON HER BIRTHDAY.  URGHHHHHHH.

 

I felt so heartbroken for Hannah at the end of this chapter - her whole world is crashing down around her again and it's so, so sad because she believed so strongly that this time was different, that Neville was different, and everything that Ernie did - all the scars that he marked her with - are brought back into her mind when she learns that Neville has done the same.  It's just so heartbreaking and she doesn't deserve it at all.  

 

MEN.  REALISE HOW AWESOME HANNAH IS, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 03:03 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: I'll Be Standing By

Sometimes I wonder who on earth invented Exploding Snap and which of the Ministry officials in the department that regulates products like that thought it would be a good idea to make it legal, let alone accessible to children.

 

I really love all of the warmth and fuzziness that I feel whenever I read one of your chapters with Susan and Hannah.  I mean, I feel it the same with the Neville chapters, but I just love the effortless way that you seem to write these two.

 

I think it's fascinating to read the way that Hannah's relationships are progressing at different rates - like I said earlier, both Susan and Neville offer Hannah something different and bring something else out of her.  It makes a lot of sense that their relationships would be in different places because the people are very different, and I'm glad that Hannah's brave enough to tackle that.  After all, that honesty is the foundation of this relationship.

 

I loved the way that Susan compared her life plan to a map, and that she was happier going off the beaten path - it was a lovely analogy, and I think it really helped to reassure Hannah that it wasn't a bad thing that her and Neville were considering moving in together when her and Susan haven't.  

 

It's interesting to see the way that Hannah still seems to have those moments of doubt and insecurities, and Susan comes across much calmer and collected - but I wonder what would happen if things between them ended.  (Just so you know, I'm taking Susan's statement at the end here as confirmation that they're staying together.  Ahem.)

 

Sian :)



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 02:55 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Don't Call Me, I'll Call You

Hey, Sam! Here with a snowball (hug) for you in the reviewers' blizzard! :)

Aww... isn't Hannah the cutest? I'm so glad that she can feel whole and loved again, thanks to Susan. And I love the way you word it... who I was melted away and I felt the possibilities of who I could be swim before me in her lips. This is an incredibly beautiful sentence!

I can totally understand Hannah's insecurities, especially after being so hurt by Ernie's betrayal. This is all so new for her (and for me, too... I think I mentioned in some old review that I'm not very familiar with the polyamory concept, but I'm here to learn :P) and I can understand that she would be sort of wary about Susan kissing someone else. But as always Susan is so direct and earnest and you can just tell how much she cares for Hannah and I love how they are growing so close. That other kiss was just incredible. They are just so precious.

Okay, need to go. I want to hit everyone on the list, possibly before midnight... :P

Love you,

Chiara



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 02:50 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Look of Love

Never before did I think that anybody could make a Welsh Herbologists Convention seem romantic, but somehow you've achieved it here?

 

Hannah's feelings for Neville are just so evident in this chapter - every time that she thinks of him, it's like her words caress his name and the thoughts are so precious and happy, which is just adorable.  She was so cute at the beginning of this chapter while she was trying to help find the different plants.  Though I have to agree with Neville - those two things sound nothing alike :P

 

I think you've got a wonderful balance in this story of lightness and happiness, lots of intense emotion, and more serious conversations like this one.  Even though they've discussed Hannah being polyamorous before, I think it's definitely going to prove a challenge to their relationship and it's something they have to be open about and discuss to be able to work through it.

 

Neville telling Hannah about how he loves her was so cute to read <3 but while Hannah is so eager and excited about the idea of being able to introduce Neville to something that's made such a difference to her life and that's been so freeing for her, I think it makes sense that he wouldn't necessarily want to explore polyamory.  I'm glad that he's honest about that, and that we see how much they care about the other at the end of this, too.

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 02:35 PM · [Report This]
Story:When I Go Out With You Chapter: Lilacs and Violets

This story is taking me on such a rollercoaster of emotions, and I love it so much.  I should probably be mad at you for not letting Hannah and Susan and Neville be happy for too long, but I really can't.  It's just such a good story and even more believable because of the dips in happiness.

 

(Side note: how are you so good at choosing the perfect lyrics to match with the theme of each chapter?)

 

Peppermint cocoa!  Ah, Hannah was so adorable at the start of this chapter when she was just bubbling over with happiness because of how well her relationship with Neville was going, and it was so sweet that she wanted to share that with Susan.

 

And yet - poor Susan!  The mood dropped immediately when Hannah realised that Susan was unhappy here, and I think that says a lot about their relationship and how attuned they are to each other.  Hannah really cares about Susan and she wants to do anything she can to make it better.

 

The imagery in this was just stunning - the pain leaking out from Susan and into everything around her, and the way that she's staring with an unseen enemy.  It was so vivid and tangible, and communicated her pain and heartbreak so well.

 

And maybe this doesn't need saying, but I think that this scene shows that polyamorous relationships are really deep and meaningful - just as deep and meaningful as monogamous relationships - and they hurt like hell when they end.  I feel like that's probably a really common misconception of polyamory and even though I'm sad that Susan's heartbroken (and Hannah is too, by proxy), I think it's good to include that and show that these relationships can still end, and there's all sorts of challenges to be faced.

 

I was so glad that Hannah was there to help comfort her, though, and look after her.  Hopefully the news of Hannah and Neville won't hurt Susan too much in the future...

 

Sian :)



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