I have to say that this is such a gorgeous piece, the concept you've worked with is really amazing. I think Fred's family is so important to him and I really think that Fred would want to be remember as being full of life. He is one of those people that really would want to people to focus on the positives of his life and really celebrate that his life happened rather than be sad that it's over.
I think the way you've constructed this is really clever, I love how the beginning and the ending link together. it's effective at really capturing that emotional impact. You've made your writing is so powerful and this story really leaves me feeling really emotional, 'If only you could make them laugh again.' so my heart is already breaking and its only two lines in. It's in Fred's blood to make people laugh, I mean he was born on April fool's day but I think that's why this really got to me. It's like Fred is stuck in the afterlife and can't comfort his family, that's so sad.
I love the way you've addressed each of his siblings, you've crafted these little snippets of their childhood are just wonderful. I love to think of Bill being cheeky in his youth going to visit girls, I think the idea that Bill taught Fred that trick is genius! your description of Charlie is so effective like you've done so well at giving him real characterisation in a couple of lines. Fred does seem like the forgetful type! poor Charlie waiting for those letters! this is all so cute! I thought your idea to address Fred's feeling towards Percy as Percy is a character that some people aren't too keen on. I quite enjoy him and the joke before Fred died is my favourite Percy moment so I loved the reference to that!
I was trying to think of my favourite line for your paragraph about George but I love it all. it just sums their relationship and the bond they share. I'm so impressed that you seem to have the words to do their relationship justice. that's a special type of writer that can truly express that deep emotional connection that they have. I think the story about Ron is probably my favourite thing. I love that you used something we know as canon and expanded it. it's just such a cute reference and for me, it's just perfect! This is one of the best things that I've read on here, it's so emotional, beautiful, heartbreaking yet somehow also feel good too. it's such a wonderful balance.
- Abbi xo
800 Words Of Heaven,
Before I sat down to read this story, as one of the FROGS nominees, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my eyes.
I only got to "I wrote you back every six" before a load of dust apparently flung itself into both my eyeballs and caused a Niagara Falls-worth of tears to cascade down my face. Or wait! Maybe it was an allergy? That must be it, because my face is now all red and blotchy and puffy and I'm making that gulping, hiccoughing noise that people do when they have allergies.
OMG seriously. I haven't read anything quite this heart-rending for a while. Bill's section had me sniffing quietly away to myself, but then I got to Charlie's letters and the tears came. It reminded me of my grandfather, and how he used to write to me weekly, and I used to write back - um - annually? Yet, he never complained. And now I am wallowing in a pit of the deepest regret, even though it's over 20 years since my grandfather passed over and I'm sure that he's forgiven me by now.
Moving swiftly on, past Percy's joke :( and - oh Merlin - George. And my heart has broken, not just a little bit, but like when a windscreen shatters into a million hopelessly small fragments, and you know it's gone way beyond what any Autoglass magical windscreen glue is capable of repairing. There is no Fred without George. Waaaaaah :'(
Thank goodness for the light relief that Fred's left buttock provided, which I managed to raise a watery smile at.
I can't deny this wasn't utter, utter brilliance; but oh, my poor heart and eyes :(
Well. I am very much not okay right now.
Seriously, Deeds recommended this to me last night and she even told me that it was going to break my heart. I came to this story prepared - I have tissues and everything! Except, as it turns out, I was very much not prepared for this story.
This was incredibly heart-breaking and beautiful at the same time. I'm not even sure that I have words to sum up my feelings at this story in a review, but I'll try.
From the first section, when Fred was talking to Bill, I had tears in my eyes. It was just so upsetting to think of Fred watching his brothers and sister, unable to reach out to them and comfort them for his loss, but wanting them to remember him in a certain way. It's so incredibly difficult - of course we all want to be remembered for the good things, for the things that we did and the times that we laughed, and for what made us the people we are, but when you're grieving those memories become so painful and difficult.
You captured that so incredibly well. This story went so deep - I think there are very few of us who haven't experienced loss in some way, and this felt so personal to me, even though it was about these fictional characters who I know and love, it made me think of real people that I've lost, and the way that they'd ask me to remember them, and it was just so emotional and touching to read.
By the time I got to the section when Fred addressed George, I was full on sobbing. I'm actually not sure how I made it through that section, when Fred was talking about how he knew this would be worse for George than for anyone else, and that they were two halves of one whole. It just tore me to pieces. The fact that he used 'we' as well, to describe George - I don't even know how I'm still writing this because there are tears streaming down my face as I think about it again. You got this sense that Fred was mourning the loss of George here too, where with the others he was trying to help them move on. Fred's lost his other half too and oh my goodness I just don't have words.
Remember me not as dead.
This refrain was just so beautiful and so powerful, but every time that you ended a section with it, it made me cry. More than I was already crying, which is a feat in itself. There was just so much love and hope held in so few words and it just hit me with each time you repeated it.
I don't know if you've read it, or if it was intended, but this story actually really reminded me of the poem Remember by Christina Rossetti, only it's written from beyond the grave rather than before. The sense of comfort and love and hope was still there, and I'm so glad for that section at the end, which was a little lighter and easier to read because it told us that the Weasleys did, slowly, learn to remember him happily again, remember Fred as he was, rather than that he wasn't there with them, and that there was some acceptance of the loss and grief.
I'm still crying, though.
Remember me as the one who stopped you from meeting a girl that night. Remember me not as dead.
Oh my…I do not like you right now. I knew this was going to be a tearjerker when I clicked on it but still this line got me and I’m already crying. Why would you do this to me?
Remember me as the one who forgot to answer your letters but never forgot your stories
After all that time and the unanswered letters he wrote to him? Seriously? Why are you trying to crush my heart.
I can’t even read the part about George. I’m sorry. I had to skip it.
My left buttock does.
Thank you for finally making me laugh. All of the paragraphs have been bittersweet but this helped swallow all of them down a bit more.
Oh my god I can’t even come up with appropriate words. I can barely see through the tears in my eyes. Combine that with my allergies and I am a sight for sore eyes I can tell you that much. This was beautiful. Seriously, truly beautiful. My godmother passed away a few months ago and I have been in this fog the entire time. I haven’t fully accepted it so I try to think of her as not really being gone. When I’m in a store or see a tattoo of Betty Boop I remember how much she loved the character and the entire collection I got her. Or when I see some pearls or watch certain TV shows. I remember her in the tiniest things but I can’t even imagine what she would say to me. Oh wow. This story really hit me. Wow. It was just really really good.