I have so many chapters to catch up on!
Oftentimes in fic the description of characters’ clothing serves little to no purpose. Here, I felt like it fit. I think a good part of that was that you didn’t try to shove the characters into our ideas of what is fashionable when this story was set in 1976. Amelia’s bronze, bell-sleeved dress fit into that look very well. The part about Hermione was a bit cliché (“curves in all the right places”), but it gets its point across.
The lack of Marauders really let us get to see other characters. The interactions that Hermione is having with her fellow Ravenclaws is nice to see. They tease her about her relationship-or-friendship with Snape enough that you can tell that they really, really do not like him. At the same time, they aren’t making fun of him (or her) to the point where I don’t believe that she would continue to remain friends with them. The full moon wasn’t actually at the end of October, but it is such a minor detail that basically no one will know unless they have written a novel in the Marauder’s sixth year. (So… just me haha.)
I love seeing Snape out of sorts due to Hermione. He is so stoic all the time in canon that it is a nice change.
The Hermione/Lily/Snape thing feels real. Snape is kind of jealous and kind of worried, it seems. How much does Hermione know about what he said? Do she and Lily have something up their sleeves? Will Hermione’s opinion of him change? I could almost see all those thoughts going through his head as they discussed the relationship between the two girls.
Dancing Sev!? Isn’t he just full of surprises!
I really liked the last part of the chapter. Lily trying to defend somebody is so in-character. Hermione being all defensive because she is falling for him works too. They both are true to what we know of them from canon. In a strange way, they are both trying to do right for other people even though they have conflicting ideas of what that might entail and what should and should not be forgiven. And they now don’t get along!? This is NOT what you usually see in time travel fics. Definitely a nice twist.
I am reminded again why you won a FROG for this story. :)
Transferred from HPFF
8th April 2017:
CTF Round 4 Jailbreak for Deeds!
Hi, Meg. Me again! I get feeling this story become at home every time I come back. Well, back in time, Hermione and Snape would have a date at Halloween? Sounds great. As I didn’t read the previous chapter, apparently, (‘coz this event on the forums) I’m itching to read what happened before between Hermione and Snape. I want to know why Snape couldn’t stop staring at her in the Great Hall.
I like this spot, he looked more concerned for her. He reminded her so strongly of Professor Lupin, rather than her friend Remus at that moment. I like your description about Lupin. Oh, so that date would happen after Snape and Lily had a quarrel which is famous among readers. It’s a good timing you chose that date. Snape must be lonely after Lily despised him. Ah, she is that Amelia! I remembered their friendship. Yeah you let Hermione and Amelia Bones be friends. I might write before, but once again I hope you will let Amelia alive in this story. Please, do. I like Amelia Bones. I don’t want to let her die like J.K.Rowling did.
Snape mouthed what was that? And he stood up and Hermione followed her? So close friendship! Well, well, well, what Hermione dreamed her fantasy about Snape has already started from this chapter! Interesting that you began scattering the seeds (of hints about their love) in this chapter.
I spotted this expression. The small flash of something that looked like disapproval in his eyes did not go unnoticed by her. It’s quite well written about Snape’s characteristic.
Wow, the latter half, you spared much space for writing about Hermione’s inner true feeling towards Snape (poor Ron, at the same time, I thought about him though), (and Rita's insight as a Daily Prophet's reporter must have started here), I was really impressed by your careful work how Hermione and Snape were falling in love with each other.
Hm, we're starting off with a flat out lie. Nice one, Hermione.
One of the things I love most about this story (not sure if I've mentioned it before) is the way you keep track of time. You're writing by days and that can be hard to do (I know I struggle to fill up the months without jumping too much) and it's really impressive that nothing is boring and it's all progressing really naturally, like I really am with Hermione every step of the way.
Sev is sooo cute in this chapter. It's so nice to see how much he's opening up to Hermione, and the little bond that's forming between them. He's even taking her to a super secret special place! Taking a boat out is such a sweet, romantic idea, and I can't believe this is the first time I've read about it happening. It's an amazing idea, Meg. Also the place sounds so beautiful. I'd love to go there.
It's also so interesting to read a Marauders fic where the Marauders are almost the bad guys. We're seeing them from a different point of view, and it's different - in a good way! But so awful all the things they did to Severus :( You do a really excellent job of developing the man we come to know him as.
The end scene with Lily is really sweet, too - I was wondering when we'd be seeing her.
Hi :) Congratulations on the F.R.O.G.S award!
I like that your story is placed in time right away. 2nd May 1998 is a date everyone would know to be the Battle of Hogwarts. But then the beginning is a little bit two slow for my taste. I realize it is difficult to write about something that has been detailed in the books, and after you reveal Dumbledore’s letter to Hermione, I am more than pleased and eager to read forward to find out how all turn out to be.
I guess the Time-Turner is a sensitive issue since the Cursed Child, but I like the concept that you are going back in time to save Severus Snape. I myself was also truly sorry for his death.
For the rest of the piece I find that the pace is good, you give us just enough description to not be too much action. I think you characterize Hermione in a realistic way, and I agree that she would go alone on a mission like this.
I like that you do not give away right away the time of the time-travel. You say Dumbledore is much younger. Also he does not seem to know Hermione. These are all clever clues. The line "Sir, I'm still not quite sure where, er - I mean, when I am," is hilarious!
I can’t wait to find out what Hermione has to do in 1976! Oh, so cruel of you to end the chapter here! :P I’ll have to keep reading, I must find out!
CONGRATULATIONS on you F.R.O.G.S. win, sweetheart! I'm so happy for you and of course it is well deserved!
Phewww! Way to scare us there, Meg. I thought Hermione's time was over for sure (well, not really. There wouldn't be a story otherwise :P)
Dumbledore does have a habit of sending kids into dangerous situations. Hm... Oh gosh she might not be able to go home at all! :O
Haha oh, Hermione. I think all those things are the exact definition of fancying someone.
Oh I love that you had Rita listen to the discussion of Animagus! I adore all these little details you think to include. It's so amazing. And I love how Hermione is continuing to realize how the tiniest actions can have a big effect on the future.
I'm officially beginning to turn weak at the knees over this side of Severus. Even just him offering to help her up has me fangirling all over the place. Even them mimicing each other haha!
Omggg that last line! How freaking cute!!!
Yay! Here I am back on one of my favourite stories *heart eyes*
I love how Severus is something like a skittish animal, and Hermione is treading around eggshells around him. I don't know what it is about it, maybe because it raises the tension, but I love holdinh my breath whenever they interact to see what happens.
"Although to Hermione, every book was one that she may possibly have needed." - Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Aw, Severus asking about Sirius. He's so self-conscious and unsure the poor little thing. But look at Sirius being put in his place, ha ha!
I like that Hermione can seperate Severus from Professor Snape, because they really are quite different, and it's true that Severus is now her equal. That's very important I think.
*squee* Look at them, look at them, LOOK AT THEM! There's smiling! There's eye contact! Compliments! Be still, my beating heart!
Oh no, but the end! Is he sending her back early? Has she run out of time? Ahh!
Hey Meg! I just can't stay away for long!
Oh gosh Hermione is a bit creepy by using the Cloak to stalk Severus haha! But I can't fault her dedication :P
I do like her strategy though, of not approaching Severus, and I knew it would work. Aw, and here we start to see how Hermione and Sev would work as a pairing, like how she thinks he would stimulate her intellectually, and I really like it. I also like that Hermione is now starting to see him in a different light, and I don't think she'll ever come back from thinking like this now.
Bless Remus, I love that he just doesn't change.
Wow, what a strange thought to think that all of this did happen before, and that the adult versions of Remus and Sirius know who she is! I like how Hermione finds out about things we saw Harry find out, like the scene where Severus and Lily officially stopped being friends. I like that Hermione can relate though, after being called a Mudblood herself.
Hermione's little speech at the end is so good, very powerful <3
Hello lovely! Thought it was about time I caught up with chapter two, so here goes :)
Ooh, this was a really enjoyable one! I love how you've now set the scene for Hermione in 1976 and she's been given a semi-pseudonym, not that I think it would make that much difference if she'd been called "Granger" in 1976, as she's muggle-born, but it's probably not a bad idea of Dumbledore to cover up her original name. Just in case an ex-student remembers her from their school-days and decides to investigate in the future...
Time travel must be dreadfully disorientating, especially if one loses consciousness. Even though she knew what she was doing, it was clearly a shock for Hermione to wake up in the past with an odd mix of things she found familiar and things she didn't. I thought you detailed the wake-up in a very realistic way and I really felt for poor Hermione when she woke up and started to have a bit of a break-down. I bet she was wondering what on earth she'd let herself in for. Another hare-brained scheme of Dumbledore's?! Speaking of which, I LOVE him in this chapter; he's such a difficult character to get right, but I really think you have him nailed convincingly here! He's as evasive as ever, bless him <3
The temptation for Hermione to change other things whilst she's here must be immense; she's going to run into so many people who are dead in the present day. Ancestors of people that she's grown to love. I don't know how she's going to manage not to try to save Sirius, James and Lily as well, or try and change Peter's mind, even if she's aware the repercussions could be severe.
What a great idea of Hermione's to switch houses (and transfer to the best one, Ravenclaw, natch ;) ). As she quite rightly surmises, there's NO WAY she'd gain Severus's confidence as a Gryffindor. It will serve another purpose too, I guess, and keep her from getting attached to the marauders.
Yay, I can feel that thisstory is going to get VERY exciting and I loved this chapter! I'll drop by again sometime soon :)
Ah no, Hermione's injury was caused by one of Snape's spells :( The beginning of Sectumsempra, maybe?
Again, I love how you include memories of the last few months, like being on the run from Death Eaters. She may have gone back in time but that stuff doesn't just disappear.
Aw, Meg, I'm really loving this softer (no matter how brief it was :P) side of Severus.
Ooh I'd nearly forgotten about the detention. Can't wait for that :P Is it bad that I'm actually disappointed that James and Sirius won't be joining them? McGonagall is clever for organising that though haha. Oh well, at least Hermione and Sev are alone! Aaaand nothing happened. DAMMIT MEG. OH THE SUSPENSE!
Those Ravenclaws really can party *considers changing house*
Hello Meg! I thought I'd drop by: I've been meaning to read this story for a while, especially as it has been nominated for FROGS and yay! I've finally had a chance to start it :)
Who doesn't love a good Time-Turner fic? This is a great introductory chapter to set Hermione off on her time-travelling adventure :) Poor Hermione, fresh out of battle, and about to attempt yet another challenging mission, but it seems that she's up for it! Go, Hermione :) Blimey, Harry and Ron are going to have a fit when they realise she's gone - or will they, due to the mysterious workings of time? I can't wait to find out what happens.
Oh Dumbledore, the most benignly unhelpful headmaster there ever was! There he goes again, happily assisting students to take on dangerous tasks, whilst his portrait sleeps on. Lol! I love how you've managed to capture his canon character in this introduction; he's so not an easy one to get right, but he reads as very "Dumbledore" here.
I love how you've provided a plausible explanation as to why Hermione feels that Snape, of all the people to lose their lives, is the one most deserving of another chance. But I wonder - yikes - what repercussions this will have on the future?
Anyway, I am so looking forward to reading on, and finding out what she gets up to in 1976; presumably going into the marauders' and Snape's 6th year? At least she'll be streets ahead in terms of knowledge, having already covered the syllabus once! I've really enjoyed this 1st chapter, and I'm in love with your writing already <3
I'll drop by again soon!
Aw, Harry and Ron <3 It must be so strange for Hermione to be at Hogwarts without them! I really feel for her. You write her inner thoughts so well.
Haha, yep, we thought Ron was bad! He's an open book compared to Severus!
Omg the boys are under the Cloak! That's hilarious! But the way they're always antagonising Snape is just horrible.
Just when I think maaaybe Hermione and Severus are starting to get along, it backfires. It's a case of one step forward two steps back with them, but my God, it leaves me wanting more every time. Aw and he healed her! I love the way you write Snape using magic. Sometimes I forget how talented he was, and such a gifted student, so I'm loving that you remember to include all of that. I mean, he was making up his own spells most of the time!
Yay! Their not a date/study session. I like how obsessed Hermione is and how much she dismisses her feelings for him as being legit feelings. At this point I can see how it'd be a bit murky to her but I also feel like it's obvious how she feels. I felt so bad for Snape, feeling like he had to check that Hermione wasn't some grand prank being pulled on him. I really like how they connected over the bullying until Snape got all annoying with not wanting her sympathy. gah <_<
also, ouch. Hermione is a bit harsh wtih Sirius. :( Maybe I should go comfort him. ;)
Amelia is such a good friend, stopping Hermione from beingn a creepy stare person. I can see why Hermione is quite distracting to the other students - she's bound to be ahead of them when she's already completed that year of study.
And, gah, the cliffhanger is what got me going last night and kept me up for an extra hour + reading :P
I'm glad Hermione decided to study Snape before approaching him again. That's more of the forward thinking Hermione I like to see.
It's sweet that Snape was watching her enough to notice she was about to mess up her potion. That really says a lot about his attention to detail even if he acts otherwise. hahaha, I like that she teetered from attractive to not ungly. That's definitely a shift.
okayokayokay -- the Remus and Sirius thing from OotP and HOLY COW. THEY REMEMBERED HER?!! I'm kind of freaking out and really really curious when they put that together and what they talked about. Are they the ones that told Dumbledore she'd end up going back??!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS
From Hermione's perspective, I get why she's excited about Snape but, wow. Amelia is def. right to be concerned. I would be if I were her and my new friend was was all into someone on his way to being a death eater. I'd be on the verge of a hardcore intervention. And, even though we know all that we know about Snape's redemption, I still question Hermione's answer about forgiving him.
okay, first new review on HPFT!!!
I can't believe what a party house Ravenclaw is. :-o Like, seriously. We were a bit more tame when I was in Ravenclaw Tower. :P
Going back to the beginning -- I'm not surprised Remus told Amelia about Snape hexing Hermione. And they are all correct that he's not the best person to know. I do wonder what Hermione's rush is about getting to Snape asap. I mean, her task will take time so week in hospital isn't a complete set back.
I am glad Severus visited but gah, i'd pay for insight into his thoughts because he's so confusing. Hermione and Snape are so infuriating that I don't know if I should lock them in the same room or keep them apart. :P
I feel bad that Hermione has to put up with Slughorn again. I mean, he's so pompous and annoying. At least he'll give her access to Snape - for whatever that's worth <_< I am interested to see what they can make ouf of doing this for an entire month together.
And, really, back to the partay. o.o They need a chaperone. haha. At least they all had fun before dying young.
Yay for some progress in this chapter. If you didn't have some soon I was going to stage a protest :P I really felt for Hermione at her being overwhelmed by the magnitude of her mission and questioning why she'd do it. She really brings up a good point about how they did win but I feel like stopping the second war from ever happening would be such a good thing to have happen. She really is alone there too - I mean, she can't tell Amelia what she's going through or trying to do. *hugs poor Hermione*
I really love Snape here - showing concern for her but also not wanting to admit that he felt concern at the same time. I'm going to want to strangle him at some point, aren't I? Hermione's attitude with him is great - while it'd be fun for them to just fall in love but I do like the angst of two people trying to come together.
Sirius and James cracked me up (at least at first) with their sneaking around under the cloak. I kind of felt like they were a bit tweedle dee and tweedle dum there but it was hilarious. I do wonder how often Snape thought he heard James and Sirius in the past and shrugged it off as his imagination being overactive.
Whyyy is snape so... well, okay, he was just jinxed and that can't put him in a good place but whyyy?!?! does he have to react like him. :( :( Good fighters or not - it's so upsetting that he hit her with sectumsempre (though it seems to not have been intended for her). I was so glad McG got there. I'm also glad Snape used his healing spell thing on her to help out.
What? A party in Ravenclaw tower?!?!? I'm jelly but also not surprised
As much as I love Snape's concern, I do have to wonder if he's fronting in class/when people are around so he doesn't seem weak or what made him suddenly less callous towards Hermione.
Also, I <3 the moment with Hermione and Snape at the end
I love the information Hermione gets from the time travel book, basically giving her free reign to interact with an attitude that she's meant to be there. It's kind of mind-blowing to think about the time travel paradox for too long (so I won't :P) but I like how you wrapped that up so Hermione doesn't have to keep worrying about it.
Remus and Hermione's chat is so so so adorable. I do love the young, carefree Remus you have in the chapter. Then again, it makes me sad to compare him to the extremely broken and weary man that we see in OotP and HBP. :'( I did get the feeling in OotP that Sirius perhaps knew Amelia kind of well which would have happened if she and Remus dated. Amelia's reaction to Hermione's friendly gossip is sweet. I'm really excited to have them explore some sort of relationship together.
Man, Rita is quite the nosey person. Her passion for news and gossip is quite evident even as a teenager. I wonder if she'll keep prying after this (probably) and if that'll get Hermione into any sticky situations.
DADA had me laughing with Hermione trying not to be bored and not master the spell too fast. At least she was able to impress Snape in the lesson. I wonder how long it'll take them to have meaningful contact. I really admire how different you're able make your characterizations of Hermione and her relationships with various students. I can't keep diverse characterization of the same person in my head (or writing).
Hermione has some real sass with Rita. I kind of hope she outs her as an animagus but that would be difficult to do without blowing her cover. I just love Remus so much. He's so gossip-y and cute.
I can't blame Hermione for feeling overwhelmed at this point - it's such a change to be back in time and she has such a difficult task in front of her. Your commentary on Sirius maturing while in Azkaban is quite interesting. I tend to think he stopped maturing in Azkaban though he grew more somber.
Hermione's advice in potions was indeed interesting. I wonder how many of the HBP suggestions she'll come up with? I was also a bit surprised that Slughorn didn't mention Lily as the other top student, as he raved about her at least to Harry. Slughorn also seemed a bit patronising which fits well with his character. I don't really like him and you've captured all the reasons why I don't like him.
You make the Ravenclaw CR sound really amazing. I wish I could have gone to school there. I appreciate that they're not just all nerds but that school is a focus for them. I also wonder about the little teaser you put in about Lockhart and Skeeter putting on a show - are they pretending to be into each other for social gain?
Remus is perfect in this. I love that he not only apologizes for Sirius but is so used to it that it's second nature for him. I hope he and Hermione can be friends. I thought the hallway scene with James and Sirius finding Remus was adorable. I wonder if they were using the map (though I doubt they'd whip it out to fact-check what remus was saying). Ooh, and, I totally ship Amelia/Remus now. Thanks. :D
The realization hermione has at the end is interesting. I wonder if she'll be less worried about her impact on the future as her going back has and will keep changing stuff. I feel like her experience with Sirius in PoA would have been enough to understand that. Anyway, excited for more!
I KNOW I COMMENTED ON THIS BEFORE BUT GAH, SLUGHORN'S COMMENT ABOUT HERMIONE GETTING SNAPE'S HELP IS JUST GAHH. Also, I don't know how Hermione is surprised that Snape is kind of a jerk to her without cause. That is exactly how he is as an adult too.
I love that Otto wanted to use Sirius harrassing Hermione as a way to get him out of quidditch.
so much to comment on in this chapter. this might be out of order but so is my brain. :P
I wonder what a light load would have been for Hermione. The thought made me laugh a bit - it's probably for the best that she signed up for a lot of classes. I do think it would be a bit weird if Hermione knew her way around really well on her first day. At least Flitwick's map reminded her to be a bit lost.
Snape is so mean and suspicious (though the last part I get). I'm not surprised he jumped to the idea that Hermione might be in with Sirius on some prank - but it is sad that he's had enough experience to make him think any girl showing interst in him is just in it for a prank. :(
Then there's Sirius. I get why Hermione isn't giving him an inch with his advances but I feel like she's truly dislikes him (not just his idiotic teenage behavior). I wonder how wounded Sirius' ego really is. Once again, I love how good of a friend Amelia is. She makes me wish I had a friend like her. Ha, meeting James can't have been easy. I love that he was their to highlight Sirius' humiliation. :D That seems very fitting for them.
Edgar and Otto seem interesting as well. I'm starting to think it'll be very hard for Hermione not to make an impression on her classmates.
I was so happy to see you putting Remus and Lily together as friends. I've always done that as well. I feel like they'd have a lot in common once Lily got past who he was friends with. haha, Remus is such a good friend to try to upsell James to Lily. I also love that Lily extended her friendship to Hermione - that especially reminds me of Harry.new comments: I don't have much to add that I didn't say last time other than I'm really enjoying getting a good re-read in :D
Hermione's attempt to help Snape was quite interesting. I'm not at all surprised he was rude afterwards, well, ungrateful at least. I am a bit surprised Hermione didn't expect to have to build a slow relationship from the start. Snape isn't really cuddly and I'm not sure how much she'd expect him to change from teenager to adult. I would have expected Snape to at least have other death eater friends around him at the table. But, yeah, he might think Hermione is a bit weird for staring at him. And I could see him being mustrustful of anyone new in his life.
Ooh, Amelia! I'm so happy you had her in here at Hermione's new friend. She's so lovely. Boy oh boy, Sirius does lay it on thick. I can only imagine how uncomfortable this is for Hermione - you do a good job showing how his persistant flirting would just be horribly awkward. Imagine what Harry would say if he saw that. :P I love that Amelia is unmoved by Sirius' attempt to flirt with Hermione and that Hermione also seems disinterested. it seems like she almost didn't like him. And, yeah, Sirius is quite arrogant too.
Rita + Lockhart - I totally ship them now. What an annoying couple they'd make. I imagine they're qutie popular with their good looks and ambitious plans for life. It was sad for Hermione to meet so many people whose lives are either over or in shambles by the end of the second war. :(
I am incredibly excited about Hermione and Amelia being friends. They seem like they'd get on well and it's just nice that Hermione can rely on someone. Ooh, and her warning about Snape was very interesting - I wonder what past misdeeds she knows of.
I really love how you have Dumbledore in this chapgter. Something about his tone and diction is just perfect.
Back for another review!
Well, at least Snape came and apologized for hurting Hermione. That curse he used could've really caused some damage, so he really should be on his hands and knees apologizing.
It is sad that Amelia and Remus immediately jump to the conclusion that Snape is the bad guy, but then again, they are right that he's the one who used the dark curse that hit Hermione. I mean Sirius absolutely provoked him, but he doesn't do himself any favors by using that sort of magic.
I did find it interesting that Snape warned Hermione away from him. Maybe he decided that after Lily he didn't want to hurt anyone else. Now that he's starting to take an interest in Hermione, he wants to scare her away so he won't have to deal with the messy feelings.
Poor Amelia is tore up. Drink some water and take some aspirin girl. Do they even have aspirin in the magical world?
Ahh. Hermione has an intriguing opportunity here to get to know Severus better. All that alone time in detention together. *wink wink*
On to the next chapter now! Lovely writing as always!
Back for another of our review swaps and ready to see how Hermione's plan to get to know Snape is developing!
Ahh! Finally, Hermione has some sort of emotional reaction. I know she has to be feeling incredibly isolated and missing Ron and Harry. I'm glad she broke down a little bit. She really needed to release the stuff she's had pent up inside.
It's interesting that Snape stopped to check on her. He doesn't really seem the type to care if someone was crying in the hallway or not. I guess he must be paying more attention to Hermione than he's letting on.
Ugh. Sirius and James! What are you two doing? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ATTACK SNAPE?!! Seriously, Hermione had talked everything down and it was all going to be fine and then Sirius had to go and act like a buffon.
I'm so glad McGonagall was there to put an end to the fight so quickly. Otherwise, Hermione could've ended up far worse off.
I'm a bit torn to Snape in regards to this chapter. I know that he was provoked into fighting and I expect him to attack back, but using sectumsempra and curses like that are so uncalled for. And of course, look what happens because of it. Hermione ends up being hurt and hurt badly.
Good thing that at least Snape knew the coutnercurse or else Hermione could've been in a lot of trouble.
Great work here! On to the next one! <3
Trust Hermione to go straight to a book about time travelling :P
I love the thought of this little circle that's happening, with Hermione unintentionally changing things because she was meant to. I read a time-travelling series once where this same thing happened. It's a really cool idea.
AW Remus has feelings for Amelia too! Remus and Amelia, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Bless them.
Haha I think Remus just summed up what we were all thinking when reading Deathly Hallows. "What do you mean Dumbledore is human with a human family?!"
Oh, Rita, and all her questions. Phew, lucky Hermione knows French! I got a bit worried for a moment there that Rita might have caught her out. Now I'm wondering if eventually Rita will do some more digging and discover Hermione is not who she says she is.
Ooh and some teeny tiny progress with Severus!
my original review:
Hermione's over-plannner tendency certainly comes out in this chapter. I can't imagine how hard it would be to not get noticed as a 'new' student at Hogwarts. You do a really good job showing how Hermione tends to think through plans and alternatives to those plans.
I really liked her trip to Hogsmeade and meeting Rosmerta. I'm glad she was able to change her perspective on the bartender as she did dislike her for so long in the future. I enjoyed your characterization of Rosmerta - I can see her being concerned for her patrons and just as kind as you wrote her. I liked that she had a vested interest in Hermione's safety and that she considered the conversation with Hermione more of a relief than a job duty. Being 19 and working in Hogsmead could get very lonely.
I almost died too when Hermione ran into Bellatrix and Lucius. That would be quite the unpleasant shock. I wonder if they have a death eater meeting there.
It probably will help that she doesn't look quite the same in this as she does in the future but I'm glad you didn't completely change her looks (or go for a supermodel!hermione thing).
Ah! it's Lockhart!! I heart him to pieces even though he is quite inept. Man, having the sobering knowledge of the future would be so difficult when seeing all these bright and youthful faces.
Her first observations of the Marauders are very well done. She knows them but is still getting to know them at this time. Remus' description is just so sad - a stark contrast to the grown man.
how does dumbledore have a niece? Is niece just the polite way to say vaguely related? :D
here's my original review:
Despite being quite groggy and out of it, Hermione is exceptionally quick on the uptake with Madam Pophrey and qualming her worries with Hermione's health. You write Dumbledore's actions and speech extremely well. He's thoughtful and enigmatic. The reactions Hermione has are spot on as well. She's so thoughtful, confused, and yet poised. I like the show her conflict at wanting to warn people who she knows will die. I'm interested to see how she grapples with that in the future. I also like that she's thinking through what this means for her present day self - are there two of her in the future!??! I could see her having such an intereting reunion with Ron just days after the battle.
Your descriptions of Ravenclaw tower are wonderful. It makes me want to go there more than ever. It seems so lush and comfortable.
adding to that:
I love everything about your narrative. You've really taken Hermione's thoughtfulness and just amazing desription to make the story feel real and genuine. I'm so glad to be rereading this.
Here's my original review:
You do a great job showing how Hermione processes through grief and that she's coming to terms with the battle. I like that her mind is on Snape - I can imagine that learning the truth about him was a major shock. I love the idea of Dumbledore as the all-knowing yoda for the HP world and that he would of course know that Hermione woudl find Snape's death tragic and give her a way to prevent it.
It's incredibly brave of her to go into the past on her own. I do think Hermione woudl have been keen to change and prepare (even if it was just a little). Did Dumbledore charm the time turner to go back to a specific time? Hermione's activated by physically turning the pendant to go back a certain amount of time.
I love that Dumbledore is perfectly polite to her when she appears in his office. :D
After reading this again, I think you've done an amazing job through editing this and have made the narrative very moving and dramatic. It was those things before but now it's even more wow-ing.