So, I know I already reviewed this at AO3, but when I stumbled upon it again a few minutes ago, I just had to reread and review it again here!
This is just as cute as it was the first time around. I love how it's quite a short story, yet it manages to fit in two pretty major moments in the HP-verse - Lily ending her friendship with Snape, and Lily and James beginning a new stage in their relationship - yet it never feels rushed or like you brushed over these important events.
The opening made me chuckle again, too. Sirius and Remus make such great cameos here - you really nailed them both, as well as all three's relationship to each other. And I love a flustered James! haha
That bag incident still gets me! Gah! Karma, man. It's so interesting to see James both trying hard to change and yet still slipping and not getting away with those slip-ups. He got Snape, sure, but at the expense of the moment he intended to have with Lily. He was then forced to genuinely apologize and own up to his lie after claiming he had nothing to do with it. At the same time, maybe apologizing sincerely is what made Lily note he might actually be changed at all? Maybe that moment saved him? *ponders*
Snape and Lily's scene is so well done. The dialogue is so important and so meaningful to exactly why Lily just could not go back to him, regardless of the fact that she forgives him for the incident. He is still staying on that wrong path, and she cannot overlook that truth any longer.
Jily's scene at the end, by the way, is very cute. I like that she doesn't actually agree to anything more than help studying, but he's still so excited by it! hahaha He can be so adorable. And it also feels more in character of Lily to not just say yes to a date suddenly, but rather open a smaller door for their relationship to progress in. I really appreciate that choice.
Anyway, super sweet once again! Such a great little story.
Boo! Here for review tag!
As you know, I'm a big James/Lily fan so, I had to jump in with a quick review on this!
I will start by saying I usually don't like besotted!James. But I only start with that to say that your portrayal of him in this particular story won me over. I think you handled it with the right length so that the situation didn't carry on too long to go from puppy-doggish to annoyingly tropey.
I also really liked the fact that you didn't let the story subsist on the resolution of James/Lily alone. First, though it wasn't laid out in the one-shot itself, you incorporated actual change in James. I've always viewed that as a necessary precursor to Lily giving him the time of day, let alone a date so - UPS! On top of that, you didn't ignore the (probably) necessary severance (:P) of the relationship with Severus and you handled that in a way that I think accurately addressed that end as being much deeper than just the "mudblood incident" and more about him being fundamentally changed in a way she can't excuse or condone.
Finally - and though this is only structural - my favorite part may have been how you tied all of that into the dueling apologies and Lily's reactions thereto.
AHH. I almost forgot the brilliance that was the Marauders. I thought they were very much in character and added in a snippet of comic relief as well as excellent advice. If I'm really quibbling I would've liked to see a little more showtime from Peter, but...
All in all an excellent and enjoyable one-shot about one of my favorite ships!
"Until then," he says softly, and leans in to kiss her cheek.
I'm gushing over James. I found him so endearing in this piece even when he was being a bit of a jerk. I loved everything about this story, from the beginning when he was practicing asking her out and Sirius wasn't being helpful. Thank goodness for Remus as the voice of reason or else Lily and James might not have ever happened.
And when he found out he broke her bag--classic! I love that he knew he shouldn't have asked her out right then and there, that would not have worked out in his favor either. He has somewhat of a brain but those hormones can really throw you out of whack.
I think the part with Lily and Severus was great too because I've never seen her shut Severus down like that before. Normally people have her crying over it and it's all very dramatic but i don't see her like that. I think she would have been upset but it was the last thing that essentially broke the camels back. She knew her decision was the right one.
And then the ending. I just wanted to squish James. He's adorable!!!
Because I love you <3 ... cross posting reviews!
The opening line made me tear up a little! It was so sweet of you to write this and dedicate it to me *tears of joy*
Prepare for some ultimate gushing right here!
So, I LOVE Sirius' reactions to James' rehearsals! I'm guessing he'd be totally (un)helpful exactly this way! And his imitation of Lily... LOL! I could definitely picture him like that!
And poor James, he didn't mean to hit the curse on Lily's bag! But trust him to not be apologetic about it! I love that he's not sappy in love here - his pride *sighs* ah his pride!
And you sunk Snily *does a little dance*
It wasn't cool of James to lie to her like that, and blame Snape instead. But James is so the type to do that! And I LOVE that you've written him that way :O :O :O
Captain Observant .. HAHAHAHA!!!
YESSS... Lily's beginning to fall for him (sings)
This was such a cute, fluffy adorable one shot and I LOVED it :D :D :D
Thank you so much for writing this one for me, and honestly YOU ROCK AT WRITING THE MARAUDERS!!! I know you said you'd stick with Tom Riddle, but in case you're thinking of branching out - HINT!
Love you to bits, B!!
As you know I'm such a big fan of you stuff already so I'm surfing the archives today so I decided to read this one so I have to agree with Ysh, you can write Marauders. I really enjoyed this, I miss reading a bit of fluff so I'm a happy girl!
I love the start of the one-shot I adore how you wrote the friendship between James and Sirius because I totally imagine it to be like this. So much teasing and just being so silly together and you really captured this for me though it makes James' death so much more heartbreaking. I thought the characterization for Sirius was amazing and his cheeky personality really shines through in your writing. I love cheeky Sirius! Friendship don't get enough love in fics and you've managed to do friendship/romance so well in a one-shot. I feel sorry for James, I want him to get the girl (which obviously he does *squee*) but I'm rooting for him so much!
I really love how you brought some more of the Marauder action into this piece when you've got Lily's scenes with Snape. I always felt that it was so difficult for Lily to let go of Snape but I always imagine her to have such a strong sense of right/wrong. Snape's lines are so blurred which makes him an interesting character but I can see why his friendship with Lily became doomed. It was nice to see a mix of character, It did amuse me when James realised it was Lily's bag, he can't get it right can he? But he has learnt from his mistakes with that apologise. The ending was so cute, I hope Ysh enjoyed this because I totally did. I thought it was really cool that your title linked into that last line, I enjoyed that little touch. Good job on this for someone who can't write Marauders, no such thing as ‘can't' with you B. You Rock. <3
Happy holidays, my love!!!
I just realized (okay, that's a lie, I've known for a while but never managed to come here sooner...) that I never officially reviewed this story... (I guess I sort of did on Google docs, but that doesn't really count...) so I'm here to remedy (and to thank you of your wonderful gift with a little gift on my own...)
So, first of all... I don't know why on earth you'd ever thought you couldn't write the Marauders... You write them amazingly! I want more! I'm Sirius!
Ahahah! I loved the first segment! Poor James... his friends aren't being very helpful, are they? :P All three of them were perfect, I so loved Sirius' comments and Remus' snorts. Eheheh! Also, I'm so honoured that you named one of the characters after me, even if it's only a quick snippet! I'm sure Kiara's baby owl was super cute...
Ah, James... will you ever grow up? *shakes head* I so loved his reaction when he realized it was Lily's bag. And Lily's thoughts when he left "he's never been this easy to get rid of before". Ahahah, so hilarious!
The exchange with Severus made me sad... and it really highlights the differences between the two boys. Because, as much as James is a bully and a total idiot, the things Severus is involved in are pure evil, and it's so sad that he doesn't realize until much later. I still feel sorry for him...
At risk of being repetitive, James is the world's biggest idiot! Ahahah! But I must confess that I love him that way. :P Once again, I loved how you wrote all of them. Especially Peter's comment and James' reply. Perfect. (Poor little Petey... :P)
Aww... Jily love... such a cute ending... James can be so sweet when he wants to... you know how much I adore them as a couple, they are just perfect. And this little story is perfect, I love it so much!
Thanks to you for writing this and happy holidays again!
I was not sure what year this was set in at first, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was before their OWLs. Most stories from this time period have Lily and James as very over the top, love vs hate, so it is nice to see a story where they interact with each other as acquaintances.
The Marauders keeping track of the number of rejections James has received made me feel bad for the poor guy. Nothing quite like your best friends betting on your happiness and or embarassment.
The ending was so sweet. Her potentially developing feelings ages before accepting a date and being unable to resist some charm from a good loailing guy is relatable. I also like that you showed how her friendship with Severus differed from BFFs to... however you would describe it at the end. The change there rather than it being a sudden thing was also nice, in the opposite way.
The summary said you felt like you couldn't write Marauders, but I disagree. This was very enjoyable and I would not have guessed you weren't super comfortable with these characters.
Greetings! I am the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Word has reached my corner of the Scandinavian forest that today is your birthday! So, I have taken this occasion to briefly make an excursion out of hiding and into the internet in order to leave you this review.
This is such a cute story, and I love the parallels you made between Snape and James. From the snapshot we got here, it seems as if Snape apologises time and time again only to repeat what he did, and eventually the apologies lose their meaning - but James isn't the sort who often apologises for things, so when he does, it really means something to Lily, that maybe he is changing in more ways than just parting his hair on the other side.
And the relationships between the characters are so well written, too. James and Sirius in particular - they tease one another, but ultimately they are very supportive of one another and always there to back the other up. Reminds me of my friendship with Bigfoot, whom I always tease about his reckless jaunts through the forest where there are always humans who manage to get blurry photographs, but I'm always the first one to step up and sabotage the film, as a good friend would do.
I love the way you portrayed James and Lily, as well. It feels very realistic - it's mostly like she's just annoyed by him most of the time but doesn't spend every moment of every day hating him, so they can have nice little moments like that where he brings her sandwiches because she missed dinner, and they sit on the floor together eating, but it doesn't really change a whole lot. It's a little change, like James' hair. And enough little changes put together is how she finally changed her mind about him - it just feels like one step in a long process rather than anything being very sudden, which makes it seem realistic.
This was a great read! Wonderful writing! And now, I'm off to meet Bigfoot for a morning of sabotaging humans' photographs.
Transferring a review <3
Ahem. That was weird.
I'm finally here to review your entry for the challenge! I'm so glad that you decided to write a Marauder era story, and a Jily at that - I love your take on the characters. Everyone felt true to themselves, and I loved the balance seeing Lily with Sev and Lily with James. It really made a great parallel, especially with the theme of forgiveness. James made a minor infraction, and Sev had a bigger issue and a longer friendship to fight for, but Lily knows who she is and what she stands for.
I also just loved how you wrote Lily and James. Lily's strong and won't back down with what she believes in, but I loved James yielding and agreeing to study with her instead of going to Hogsmeade. It may not have been what he wanted, but it's a step in the right direction.
You did a really good job playing with the theme of forgiveness here as well. Again, it was the striking balance between Sev and James that made this piece really stand out to me. (I mean, I always love your writing, you know that!)
Anyway, this was really great! Thank you for participating in the challenge. I loved this. Write more Marauders!!
(Okay that wasn't so professional. But whatever...)