Reviews For Parachute

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 15 Feb 2020 04:10 PM · For: Football Practice

Hi again!


The change in tone in this chapter was really interesting.  I loved how it started off with such a light, funny scene as Lily tried to remember how to play football, and then shifted to something much more serious at the end.  I thought you managed that shift really well and it happened so naturally between the characters, too.


Lily trying to play football really made me smile.  Honestly, even though I know how the sport works, I have a feeling I'd be very similar the first time I tried to play it.  It's so sweet that she's there, though, and Annie has obviously been successful in persuading her to try it out.  I was glad that Annie didn't turn into the sort of scary teammate I imagine someone like Dom would be, too, when Lily didn't get how to play it immediately.


And we finally got to see Lily open up a bit more, which I really enjoyed.  It's been so long since she left home, and not being able to talk about the reasons why she's done that must be really difficult for her.  She managed to tread the line between revealing everything about her world and talking about the main things that have been affecting her really well in this chapter, and I was so glad that Annie was there to listen to her and encourage her to open up when she didn't know if she should.  It was so easy to tell how much this had been weighing on Lily, and that she needed to talk to someone about it.


It makes so much sense that she'd struggle with her family members constantly ending up in hospital, too.  Obviously that's a life that they've chosen for themselves, and they're doing what makes them happy, but that doesn't mean that it's easy for Lily to deal with when she doesn't want to see them being hurt.  Growing up with the shadow of Harry constantly being in potential danger is hard enough, but then seeing the people your age willingly rushing into the same situation is horrible.  It's definitely going to make you tense and on edge all the time, with Lily always waiting to hear which of her relatives has been hurt most recently, and that's enough for anyone to need a break from.


I think what made me saddest about this was the fact that her family treat her differently to Hugo and won't share details with her.  It's so unfair - it's not like she's going to say anything to anyone, and more than that, she's still part of the family.  She can't just turn off the fact that she loves them and doesn't want to see them hurt, but the way that they're treating her when people do get injured is exacerbating the whole situation.  I'm so glad she talked to Annie about this and got to open up to someone, because I think that'll help her start to process some of it, but I hope that she talks to someone in her family about it soon, too!


Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 15 Feb 2020 03:46 PM · For: Bend It Like Beckham

Hi Branwen!  I was so excited when I realised you'd updated this story.


Ah, I really enjoyed the beginning of this chapter, with Lily and Edwin.  I can understand Edwin not really wanting to know or understand much about the magical world, even though he's aware of it - it's probably easier to pretend that the world doesn't exist when you can't really be a part of it, especially with the history between the Dursleys and Potters.  But I loved seeing Edwin getting intrigued by Quidditch despite himself.  I can't blame him - it would be an exciting sport to watch!  


His question about whether witches and wizards watch football made me realise how boring it must be, to only have one sport that the majority of people follow, though.  I've got the feeling that Lily is going to end up getting into football whether she wants to or not in this story :P


I'm loving reading the friendship that's blossoming between Annie and Lily!  (Totally rooting for it to become more than friendship, though.)  Lily did a pretty good job of managing to respond normally to Annie when she was trying to explain away the details about her room.  I do think she might need to get her stories straight soon, unless she's willing to explain her magical background to Annie, anyway.  I have a feeling she'll do that eventually, but it's definitely going to make for some complicated explanations beforehand!


Is this where I admit that I've still never seen Bend It Like Beckham?  :P  Annie is so brilliant, though - her enthusiasm is definitely infectious, and it's no wonder that they agree to watch the film with her.  Even though Lily didn't seem to pay that much attention to the film itself, anyway... there's definitely chemistry there between her and Annie, and even Edwin seems to have noticed it by the end of this chapter.  I'm intrigued to see what's going to happen to the two of them!


Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 03:44 PM · For: Liverpool

Hello!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie :)


I'll eat my hat if Annie stays "essentially Lily's boss" for that much longer, honestly.  I sympathise with her not knowing how to ask Annie if she wants to hang out outside of work, though - I think that's always a difficult one to tackle for the first time, no matter how well you get on with a person.


Anthony's history course actually sounds really interesting!  I can kind of understand why he would get annoyed at being made to feel bad when he and his ancestors didn't have anything to do with the oppression of the Irish (I've been in that boat myself :P) but I think as a historian you kind of just have to learn to suck it up and deal with it - it's not like Irish history doesn't deserve to be dealt with and learned about, after all.


I think Lily got through the awkwardness of that conversation with Anthony quite well, although maybe she needs to work on getting the Muggle version of her story straight a bit more to avoid accusations that she's a closet homophobe and the like :P


Oh my goodness, Annie's reaction to Liverpool's loss... that is quite something.  I honestly don't think that I've ever seen anyone react quite so violently to a defeat at the hands of Man U, and that's coming from an area where both of those teams are quite popular and the rivalries get very serious in the days surrounding the matches.  She's definitely passionate about her football, and I kind of love that about her - the family link and the tradition of supporting Bilbao and Liverpool was a cute detail, too.  


I'm looking forward to seeing Lily starting to go to football training with Annie, though, and the relationship between the two of them growing.  I've just noticed that it's been a while now since you updated this story, but I've really enjoyed reading it, and I hope that you find some more inspiration to work on it again soon!


Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 03:28 PM · For: A Visit with Blondie

Hi, RvG and Magical Menagerie :)


I feel like Lily is playing a bit of a dangerous game here, using magic to wash the dishes when she should be doing it by hand.  I mean, it's not my favourite chore, but having said that, there's always the risk of someone coming in and seeing her - and even though she's of age, it's not a good idea to use too much magic around Muggles.  I'm hoping that doesn't backfire on her too badly at some point in this story.


I am DEFINITELY detecting a ship about to set sail here.  Lily seems a little oblivious at the moment, but there were a couple of moments in this chapter that made me believe that something's going to happen between her and Annie at some point in this story.  The little looks and glances between them when Annie comes to tell her that Scorpius is here; the subtext in Scorpius's question that Lily completely misses; Annie's insistence on checking whether or not Scorpius is actually Lily's boyfriend or not.  It was so much fun to read all those little hints to something more, and I hope Lily doesn't remain completely obtuse for too long - although I kind of get the impression that maybe Annie won't let her xD


I really enjoyed reading the conversation with Scorpius, too.  It's nice to get more of an insight into their friendship, and I think that he's perfectly justified setting the condition that he's not going to lie to Rose or Albus.  The dynamics in these relationships are all so interesting, and I'm intrigued to see if any of her other relatives will make an appearance at any point.


The conversation about football certainly distracted Annie!  I'm looking forward to seeing Lily learn how to play football, and while it might not be Quidditch, I suspect she'll probably learn to enjoy it quite quickly.


Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 03:14 PM · For: The Rickety Walrus

Hello!  RvG and Magical Menagerie.


It's really nice to see Lily starting to settle into her new Muggle life, getting used to her surroundings and meeting new people.  Edwin certainly seems like a great person to have in your corner - he's helped her out a lot already!  I definitely get the impression that he's been brought up slightly differently to the way that his father was, that's for sure.


I love the name, The Rickety Walrus!  That's such an awesome name for a cafe, and if I walked a teashop called that, I'd definitely want to try it out.  The interior sounded perfect, too - I loved your descriptions of it and it just came across as such a cosy place to curl up and read with a pot of tea.


Annie seems brilliant so far!  And... do I detect a ship about to set sail?  There's nothing really obvious at the moment, but the hint at the ending, the fact that it seemed like there was another question she wanted to ask but didn't, definitely has made me want to keep my eye on these two :P But I loved how passionate she seems to be about football and how much joy she seems to find in life generally.  I can picture her with Lily - she'll definitely help to balance her risk-taking family out, I think.


The confused description of Mario Kart was fantastic.  I'm really loving getting to see Lily get to know the Muggle world and being integrated so quickly into Edwin's friendship group.


And it's really sweet that Scorpius is coming to check on her and make sure that she's okay - I do actually trust him not to spill the beans about where she is to her brothers or extended family.  It's also really interesting to see Scorpius through different eyes to Rose's, and see his relationship from Lily's perspective - I really like the way that you've built up your next generation world so well!


Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 01:40 PM · For: Making Bedrooms Out of Closets

Hi again!  RvG and the Menagerie :)


Ah, I really loved this chapter!  I had a sneaking suspicion that Edwin was going to let Lily stay, but I really loved the care that you took in this chapter to build up a picture of their background.  I actually love the idea that Harry and Dudley had stayed in touch after the war and visited each other so that their kids kept in touch - it's a real mark of how much the two of them have grown up and appreciate each other and what little family they have, and of course it works brilliantly because it results in Lily having cousins that don't have a Weasley parent :P


I can definitely picture your James and Albus being distinctly unbothered with getting to know their Dursley cousins, but I really enjoyed Lily and Edwin's relationship.  There were so many gems of lines that came out here, with Lily claiming that she'd run away from home and then letting slip that her parents actually did know where she was, and then the way that Edwin was so wary of magic - and to be honest, I can't really blame him when you see the damage that Lily does to his walls while she's trying to help decorate.  I can already tell that this set-up is going to be a lot of fun to read.


I'm so intrigued to see how Lily fits in with the Muggle world.  Little comments like her misunderstanding of why Edwin was using his phone to look up how to build the bed show that, while she might have some familiarity with certain aspects of it, she's not really au fait enough to pass as a Muggle.  It's certainly going to be interesting to see her interacting with people and having adventures in Muggle London, although I feel a bit sorry for Edwin - I have a feeling she's going to turn him prematurely grey with all the stress and worry!


Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 01:28 PM · For: Gambling on Kindness from Muggles

Hi again!  Here for RvG and the Menagerie.


And so the story really begins!  This is definitely something that I don't remember having seen in fanfiction before, but I'm so intrigued to see how it pans out in the rest of this story.


Again, I felt really sorry for Lily at the opening of this chapter.  I can definitely understand the way that she was feeling at the beginning - not being okay at all, and wanting someone to notice that without you having to tell them, but trying so hard to pretend that you are okay because you don't want to be a burden on other people.  It's so hard to deal with those sorts of feelings and put yourself first, especially when you feel like you're being selfish because you know how important everyone else's jobs and what they're dealing with are, but it's really brave of Lily to actually get to the point where she can face up to that.  


The decision to take a year out of Hogwarts and go back the following year to finish her education is really interesting - and, like I said, not something I've actually seen done before (with the exception of Hermione taking a year to go and hunt down Horcruxes, but those circumstances were slightly different).  But Lily is seventeen, which makes her an adult according to magical law, and I'm glad that her parents stopped to listen for long enough to her reasoning that they didn't just dismiss the idea right away.  I thought it might have been nice to see a little more detail or conversation with her parents, but nevertheless I'm looking forward to seeing how Lily progresses on this year.


(Tiny Brit-pick - the underground is known either as that or the Tube in London.)


And she just turns up at Edwin's flat and asks him if she can stay... indefinitely.  That really made me laugh, and I'm intrigued to see what the relationship is like between her and her cousin, and how the next year pans out for her!


Sian :)

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 28 Jan 2019 01:18 PM · For: A Trip to St. Mungo's

Hi Branwen!  Here for RvG and the Magical Menagerie.


It's been far too long since I read any of your next generation stories, and I was really intrigued to see that you'd written one focusing on Lily!  She definitely doesn't get enough attention compared to the other Weasley and Potter children.


This was a great opening chapter to the story, and a great introduction to the story.  I really liked the way that you used this chapter to set Lily apart from the rest of her family, and bring out the differences in her attitude to theirs.  She seems more serious and worried about the dangers that come with their jobs than a lot of them do, and more aware of the fact that the stays in St. Mungo's aren't just a little holiday, but could be more serious.  I think those aspects really gave us a good indication of her character.


I feel like just the sheer amount of people in the Weasley family would be enough to warrant wanting to escape it for a little while, but the way that you opened this, with the catalogue of injuries and occasions that Lily, from such a young age, has had to frequent the waiting room in St. Mungo's, emphasised the amount of worry that she's experienced on their behalf, and it's very understandable that she'd want a break from their attitudes when they can't understand why she's so worried.


Albus's characterisation was really interesting in this chapter, too - Lily's disappointment with him was a little heartbreaking.  I really enjoyed the friendship between her and Scorpius, too.


I liked the mention of her cousin Edwin in this chapter.  I know from the summary that he's going to play a bigger role in this story, and I'm looking forward to seeing Lily escape, and glad that she's got another family member outside the chaos that she feels close enough to escape to.  And, of course, I'm hoping that James'll be okay!


Sian :)

Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 06:53 PM · For: A Trip to St. Mungo's

Hello again!

So, I didn't even know the blizzard was going on and just happened to be reading your stories compulsively. So, it works out!

I've been wanting to read this story since I saw the summary literally forever ago. I've never read anything that references Dudley or his family in Next-Gen, so the description of this was just thrilling. And I am hooked.

I am so here for this! Like, seriously! I love the characters you've chosen in this. Lily also isn't a character I've read much or know much about, so that's gonna be fun. So far, I really like her. I love the dynamic you're describing. Her annoyance at her family's recklessness is so believable. And I can so relate.

I also adore that Scorpius is a part of this (even if he's not with Albus, but like...c'mon, Scorbus!). I love me some mini-more-levelheaded-Draco! So this is going to be fun for me, characters-wise.

You also set the scene so well with the mentions of all the other hospitalizations and Lily's feelings towards them. And also your writing. Ugh. It's so wonderful. I hatelove it. You're too good.

So far, I really love this. My CC is, as usual, absent. Because I suck.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 02:54 PM · For: A Trip to St. Mungo's

Snowball (hug) for the reviewer blizzard! :)

Oh, poor Lily... that must be so hard, with all the family having dangerous jobs and getting hurt all the time... she seems such a sensible character and I can totally understand how difficult it must be for her to cope with it all. Then, again, I'm not surprised about this family tendency, I guess the Weasleys/Potters would be a bit crazy like that.

It's interesting the way she was sort of hurt by Albus' reaction, too, almost as if she felt betrayed by the only person she thought would share her worries. Which I guess makes sense, too. I can see Albus as the one who is just as adventurous as the rest of the family, just quieter about it.

Scorpius seems so perceptive, I really enjoyed his characterization for now. I really liked everyone's characterization, actually. You give a clear idea of who everyone is in just this little introductory chapter and that's really great!

Another thing I loved was Lily imagining the waves to calm herself, it does feel like something soothing, I'll need to try that.

There are probably a thousand other things that I should say, but I'm on a quest to leave at least one review for everyone on the list, so...

Great job on this start, I'll try to come back sometime soon!

Lots of love,


Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2017 09:53 PM · For: Liverpool

I had no idea you were such a huge soccer (football?) fan! I don't know why I sound so excited about that, haha, because after reading Annie's grieving explanations of various teams, I realized that I know absolutely nothing. (I just have one question: is this mourning period after a loss a real thing? No judgment. It's just...a fascinating discovery.)


When I first saw the chapter summary, I was panicking a little. What did Annie lose? A lawsuit? Did something horrible happen? And then it turns out her favorite team lost, and though it was a giant relief, I was also super amused at her sadness.


My prophetic wishes have been granted once again, with Lily wanting to join the football team. (Though is it really prophecy when I'm just being super vague about it?) I'm really sad that this is the last chapter of this story so far, because I think this is one of the more recent longer stories of yours. At least I get to go through the excitement of living through updates!

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2017 09:44 PM · For: A Visit with Blondie

I love how Annie keeps asking Lily whether Scorpius is her boyfriend or not. I can smell some ulterior motives in the air. Also, it's really weird, because just last chapter I was asking for an extended conversation between Lily and Scorpius, and next chapter, there it is! I should become a prophet, I think.


The conversation was everything I hoped for. Those two seem to be really close friends (Scorpius' discomfort with the Muggle world was hilarious) and it was really great seeing Lily fully relaxed and comfortable. And how did Scorpius sniff out Lily's little crush on Annie so fast? (At least, I think that's what he was being weird about.) Astute man.


It suddenly occurred to me that football is not American football, and I need to snap out of this American mindset. All of a sudden, Annie's desire to play football for a living makes a lot more sense. (I'm not the hugest fan of American football as a sport oops.) I think I'm going to draw upon my prophetic powers once again and request a scene in which Annie is teaching Lily how to play football, because that would be the most adorable scene ever.


It's so lucky that Lily met Annie. Every event depended on another, and she was so lucky that her cousin thought to bring her to this place. I'm beginning to ship these Annie and Lily a lot because of that.

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2017 09:33 PM · For: The Rickety Walrus

These two things are the most relatable things I've ever heard: ["It was silly, but one of her least favorite things about the muggle world was the fact that most stores didn’t have bells above shop doors."] and ["And she loved doors that opened into a building rather than out."] These weird little quirks of hers reminds me of the little pet peeves that everyone in real life has, and it's just super cute.


Also, Lily's "long before they’d decided that they wanted to court death for a living" when talking about her brothers was just so dramatic and cute (she's just adorable, okay), and I'm really happy she seems to be happier. That line about Mario? It's glorious. When I read the chapter summary, I was so confused, but in the context of the story, it was so freaking funny.


(I was right about Annie being the love interest, wasn't I?)


I'm glad that Scorpius seems to care so much about Lily, though. It'd be sweet to see some of their behind-the-scenes interactions, and how Lily interacts with Rose, and to see Scorose from Lily's point of view. <3

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2017 09:20 PM · For: Making Bedrooms Out of Closets

I KNEW I WAS GOING TO LOVE THIS CHAPTER. My favorite parts: Edwin (he's so adorable my goodness), the dialogue, how hilarious Lily is when she's not constantly worrying over her family members, and her inability to properly perform housework spells.


My favorite quotes: [He let out a loud snort. “Lily, that’s not really running away.”] and [She beamed at him. “Ed, I’ll take a closet.”] and [“No,” Edwin said firmly. “You can’t.” He gave her a look, and she could tell that he was remembering the bathroom wall.] These are so hilarious and perfectly timed within the story. I laughed so much.


I think it's so cute how Edwin is the one who's most scared of magic (I'm assuming Dudley was alright, or somewhat alright, with his children knowing about magic) yet he's the one who's closest to Lily. It makes me somewhat sad that James and Albus don't get along with the Dursleys, because it would've been sweet if the next generation got over their differences, but that's okay. These interactions between Lily and Edwin are hilarious enough to make up for it.


Is Annie a love interest for Lily? If she is, I'm so, so excited. If she's absolutely not, and I'm totally off the mark, pretend I never said that.

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2017 09:03 PM · For: Gambling on Kindness from Muggles

We got to the part I was super super curious about! After reading the summary of this story for the first time, I was just thinking, "So is she close with her second cousin? Or is this like a get-to-know-each-other impulsive decision or something like that?" I'm still really curious about this! I hope I'll get to find out the depth of their relationship in future chapters.


I just wanted to say that Lily is really gutsy. She probably considers herself somewhat "cowardly" for leaving Hogwarts for a year to escape all the injuries and near-deaths, but I personally think that it's such a brave thing to do to take a year off of school to deal with personal issues. She's already so secretly kick-ass. (Especially since her father is Harry Potter and her mother is Ginny Weasley; to bring leaving school up to those two is probably the bravest thing anyone could've done.)


I love Lily, she seems so sweet and likeable. Onto the next chapter. >D

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2017 08:56 PM · For: A Trip to St. Mungo's

I think it really says a lot about how Interstellar completely went over my head, because I have absolutely no recollection of the wave scene at all. Nevertheless, the reference was cool (and I greatly appreciate the explanation at the end, haha).


I'm not sure why I've never stopped by this fic before, so here I am! Lily's grown older now, and I'm glad to be hearing her voice and opinions as everyone else is off doing self-sacrificing, life-threatening professions. I've always agreed with Scoripus and Lily far more than anyone else; actually enjoying a job in which death is a very real possibility has always seemed incredibly silly to me. (No offense, Rose, I still love you.)


Lily's emotional turmoil and her discussion with Scorpius is perhaps one of the most normal conversations I've read from your Potter-Weasley clan fics, haha. It's realistic and understandable, and I hope that she can sort through this.


So I can't wait to see the rest of this fic. <3

Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2017 10:22 PM · For: Making Bedrooms Out of Closets

Back again for this amazing story! <3


Okay, so first off, Edwin is someone who I want on my side all the time. That man is a ride or die kind of friend/cousin/person and I need me one of those. Homeboy is a super star for letting a cousin who he is vaguely afriad of into his flat and then let her basically trash the place with magic and then finds her a bed. Like, that is a man you want as a friend. Just saying.


Ok, so obviously I'm slightly in love with Edwin Dursley, but moving on, I just love how I thought Lily was the totally reasonable and logical one and then here she goes basically screwing up anything and everything that she posibly could in her cousin's flat. I love that it shows that she really is a part of this crazy messed up family even if she may not think she really belongs there.


Okay, I'm 100% here for The Crazy Misadventures of Lily, Edwin, and Company. So I know that the story is not going to keep going like this, but I just really want to see Lily trying to fit into Muggle culture and failing miserably, all the while making Edwin go prematurely gray. Just think of the possibilities! Also, I'm super hyped to get to meet whoever this OC that will be engaged in a slow burn with Lily is. Ohhhh, wait is it Annie? Oh, my god, is it Annie? DO I GET MEET HER NEXT CHAPTER???? Because if so, Imma need that right now, k thx bye.


But seriously, Branwen, this is so good and I cannot wait to jump into the rest of the universe that you've so carefully crafted! I'm hooked!!! <3



Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2017 09:40 PM · For: Gambling on Kindness from Muggles

Hello again love <3


Yaaasssss, I'm so here for this story. I love love love the idea of Lily wanting to do something not dangerous and terrifying is considered rebelling and then I absolutely adore the idea of someone taking a year off from Hogwarts to do other things. I guess I never considered that they could do it, but people take gap years from college all the time, so yeah, I'm totally here for it.


I feel so much for Lily in this situation. I mean, I can't say that I've ever been in her position exactly, but she just seems so confused and lost and I've definitely felt like that before haha. She's just so genuine about everything that she believes and wants and I love that so much. Especially in a time when it seems like everyone wants to have a dark, gritty anti-hero, it's nice to see someone who is just genuine.


God bless Harry and Ginny tho. Like, they could have just shut that down so fast but they didn't and I'm so happy about that. I think it's really important for parents to be supportive and they most certainly are. They are such fantastic parents to Lily and I'm so glad that you chose to write them like this because who would ever write Harry as a crappy dad, right? (coughcursedchildcough)


Oh, yes, I am HERE  for a Dursley child. I'm so incredibly excited for everything you have planned here, it's ridiculous <3



Name: clairevergreen (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2017 09:02 PM · For: A Trip to St. Mungo's

Hello lovely! <3


Oooo, I love this so much from the very first line! I remember reading a few of your other stories where all of the Wotter Clan is obsessed with jobs that frequently put them into danger so I'm loving getting to see a new side to all of that insanity. And to do it through Lily is an absolute treat, I never get to read enough stories with her!


The emotions you've weaved throughout this are absolutely fantastic! I can really understand Lily's objection to anything and everything about the jobs all of her older cousins/siblings have, especially if she's the baby of the family. I can't imagine what it's like seeing almost everyone you've idolized as a kid going off and getting seriously hurt almost every day on their jobs. I think I would be panicking just as much as she was and honestly, I'm impressed that she's been able to keep it together as long as she has!


Her thoughts about Albus are particular favorites of mine, just because they work so well for her personality. She just assumes that she can't be the only crazy one in the family and then Al drops something like that on her and she can't understand why. I also love that Scorpius is the one to help comfort her. I'm already here for their friendship where they just sit and complain about their pain in the butt family/significant others and their penchant for almost getting killed :)


Well, you will certainly see me back soon for more of this wonderful story!



Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 08 Apr 2017 11:02 PM · For: A Trip to St. Mungo's

Hello dear! Here to read one of your wonderful stories, and to free Sam for CTF.


Your next gen stories will be the end of me. The end of all productivity in my life. How do you write them so effortlessly? that is to say, it reads so naturally to me, you make it *seem* effortless.


And you're written Lily. I don't know why more people don't write about Lily. It's weird. I'm glad you've focused on her here. And I just want to hug her. I know exactly that feeling she has of thinking you know someone, loving them super much, and then discovering you didn't know them quite as well as you thought you did. I remember when i came home for Christmas my sophomore year of college and my high school best friend had started smoking. I couldn't believe it. I imagine Lily feels about how  did then.


You'd think, given the scenario, that her emotions would focus primarily on james, and I like that they don't. i like that you've shown how we don't always respond to things the way we feel we're "supposed" to. 


The way you lay out her history in this space and establish a sense of dread and inevitability about St. Mungo's was excellent, too. It's nice that now Scorpius works there and can soften the blow of returning to that space. I really loved their interaction. They work so well as friends. I would love to see more scenes between them, just as friends, nothing more. I wonder how Albus would handle that?


All your stories connect seamlessly and now I want to read more of them but I can't because I have to go jailbreak people from other APs. Alas.


Always a pleasure, dear!

xoxo Renee

p.s. I typed this in Word first and when I pasted it here the formatting was INSANE. So I'm trying again and hopefully it will work better this time. Just an fyi in case it doesn't

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 08 Apr 2017 10:30 PM · For: A Trip to St. Mungo's

CtF Hufflepuff Review


Femslash?? Lily Luna being friends with her Dursley cousin?? Sign me up!


Your first line makes me instinctively think of someone who was alive during the war. It seems second nature to think of them making hospitals, and it does not readily occur to me that the next generation could have just as many unpleasant memories there (I don’t read nextgen a lot). But you make a great point here, that the next gen kids have a lot of relatives with dispositions that are ineffective at keeping them out of hospitals!


I’m uncertain how old Lily is supposed to be at this point, but I am proud of her for anxiety soothing techniques. You’ve done a good job establishing Lily’s anxiety here without having to come straight out and say “Lily has anxiety” and you’ve definitely shown how her family can be a stressor for her.


I have always loved the idea of healer Scorpius! And I really like how you characterize him here as very empathetic. He really seems to understand Lily, and I like that even more because that’s not the ship of this story, and I can enjoy that relationship as a friendship =)


I also like the idea of Rose, James, and Victoire as the reckless trio working at the Dangerous Creatures Bureau


I mentioned at the beginning of this review that I thought it made more sense to me for someone who was so averse to hospitals to have lived through the losses of the war, but in a way, Lily did by extension. Everyone in her life has been affected by the war and the losses of that time, and I can definitely see how that translates into her fears. Even growing up in a safer time, somehow things don’t feel any safer, as those Weasleys and Potters continue on insisting on chasing danger.


I really enjoy this so far. Even without having met most of the characters, I feel like I have a pretty good sense of them, and the way you are exploring their haracteriations and the emotional issues they are facing is quite interesting to me. I hope to be back for more!


I’m curious to find out how the title Parachute works in!


Name: WindingArrow (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2017 08:15 PM · For: Prologue

Tag! Liz here for BvB! *salute*


I love this look into someone who either doesn't want to be an Auror or is against someone becoming and Auror. A lot of stories feature characters becoming Aurors and Healers and everyone is so proud and supportive! But it's a bit like sending your friend, sibling, or child off to the military or war. Actually, this reminds me a lot of my neighbor who has done that with her two youngest. She's all smiles and proud of them, but everytime they leave to go back, she's a wreck afterwards, not wanting something to happen to them but not wanting to stand in their way.


Lily and Scorpius have an adorable friendship, estranged as it may be with their being in different years. It doesn't matter, though, as long as the person who comes to comfort is okay to have a wet shoulder. I like how you've depicted her position on matters as well as her relationships with her brothers and I really like your writing in general; your characters come across as very real and relatable. Even now, I just want to hug Lily and tell her it's okay if she thinks her brother's are insane.


This is a wonderful one-shot. ^_^



Submit a Review