I thought this was very sweet little piece and I thought you captured fleur as a child really well. I really liked how you opened with the description of the house because you really able to visualise the surrounding before you get into the main action. I think it sounds like somewhere Fleur would live tbh, I imagine her from a well off family personally (you're playing into my head canon for sure).
I thought the concept was very cute, I love how children are so curious and you really got the essence of how children's mind works because it's so natural for them to wonder. Fleur asks a lot of questions here which is quite in keeping with her age as they were more thoughtful than just 'why?' which is more like a toddler. It really worked for me, I thought a little bits of french that you've included worked really well tbh just serves as a little reminder that it's set in France.
I know this was for a challenge and I thought you did really well at getting the myth element into this without being to over the top with it. I don't know anything about that type of myth so I've learnt something. I can see how Fleur saw the similarities between the Vila and Veela though! I'm glad it's all sorted out because I really enjoyed little moment at the end with Fleur and her grandmother. good job on this!
- Abbi xo
This was an extremely cute story between a young Fleur and her mother! I loved, especially, the conversation about the differences between Vila and Veelah, though both are very real. The childhood innocence in her worry over her grandmother being a Vila is adorable, and there are plenty of adorable moments here in the interaction with her mother that made me chuckle (my favorite probably being the bit about never seeing her grandmother angry because of Veelah can throw fire and her mother's not fire-proof).
I also think it's sweet that her grandmother has offered to give Fleur a lock of her own hair in order to act as the core of her future wand. There's something very loving about this (I'm extremely close with my grandmother, so it's speaking volumes to me, especially when we get to the end and Fleur unhesitatingly hugs her, completely disregarding her previous worries about being a Veelah).
I also appreciated the small nod towards her Muggle schoolwork pre-magical schooling. I find that it's oftentimes left out of stories.
Lovely little story!
As you probably know I love stories set in different countries, so after I read your China story that was submitted to my challenge, I thought I’d check out this one on France.
I have to say I love the “around the world” theme combined with mythology is an absolutely excellent combination! I have not yet heard about Vila, from Slavic mythology, but it’s resemblance with the Veela in the Harry Potter universe is astonishing, and you capitalized on the differences and similarities really well. I also love that you choose a moment from canon (when Fleur’s wand is made – that we know contains her grandmother’s hair as a core) and you build your story around this. It’s such a simple thing, and work so powerfully.
I also like how you make a parallel to Muggle schools, I’m guessing education is a problem world-wide – we have mass edication, we have teachers working against creativity, etc so your story tells us something important about real world through a fanfiction universe.
I love your characterization – we know so little about Fleur’s family and it’s nice to see them here. Also the fact that you have some French phrases in there makes the story all the more authentic. The relationship between Fleur and Gabrielle is really greatly presented, from what happened in the triwizard tournament, I can only imagine that they were loving sisters like this.
Overall I’m very impressed by this story! Thank you for letting me travel to France for a short while!
Oooh, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a young Fleur fic before!
Wow, Fleur lives in an absolute palace! What do you even do with that many bedrooms? She does seem like she comes from money though and is used to living with a lot of luxury, so it’s not unbelievable.
I think Fleur’s family tree and the fact that she has her grandmother’s hair in her wand is very interesting, but not something I’ve seen explored a lot, and I like how you handle it. Really interesting exploration of the differences between veela and vila
I actually find it kind of impressive that Apolline has never seen her mother anger enough to transform XD I can imagine it coming out in spurts during arguments and irritations.
Oh, vila are real in this story! I thought that they might be a diluted muggle version of veelas, but it’s interesting that both creatures exist. I wonder what Apolline’s experience with them was.
Omg, Fleur has to do algebra and chemistry before age 11? Yikes!
Aw, Fleur’s affection for her sister is to precious.
I find it interesting that Fleur is starting to understand what her grandmother being a veela means, and I find myself curious for a story when she’ a bit older of her starting to understand what her being part veela means.
I really really enjoyed this! It was refreshing to read about characters and perspectives we don’t see a lot of, and you did a great job of the characterization.
Okay, so I got excited when I saw this story, because Fleur is probably one of my favourite characters and also she's French, and this is set in France, and you've included some French in your story <3 (I'm a complete Francophile, if you couldn't tell).
First of all, the French was not random at all. I loved the way you just used a couple of words here and there which flowed naturally as part of the sentences, but they really helped to build up a sense of the setting and the fact that this was a young French family.
I liked the idea that Fleur goes to a Muggle primary school, too - it's so interesting to see that, because I rarely come across that in fic and I'm always wondering how young witches and wizards even learn to read and write and all the skills they need for school.
This was a really sweet story! I think you captured Fleur's childlike nature really well - I always find it so difficult to write children so I'm impressed by the way you did it here. I also love seeing stories which combine myth with the Harry Potter world, and I think Fleur's concerns were so believable, because if a child learned that and thought it was their grandma, of course they'd worry! You wrote Fleur so well here, and it was really interesting to learn more about the Vila myth (which I didn't know well before) and the differences between Vila and Veela.
The ending was really cute - very in character, as I think she's always been a loving and caring person, and she's relieved not to have been right about her grandma. This was a really lovely story and I enjoyed reading it!
Hi there! I'm stopping by to leave you a review from the BvB thread.
I really liked this story. It was sweet and heart-warming. I love reading the back story to any of the Harry Potter characters, and this one did not disappoint. You have a real knack for descritpions and also the ability to weave together both dialog and actions. You walked the reader through a lovely afternoon with Fleur and her mother, while keeping characterizaiton at the forefront. Fleur is exactly as I would expect: sharp, curious, and sweet all rolled into one. I think you did a great job with the challenge prompt too!
The pacing felt nice, and you you resloved little Fleurs confilct and left us feeling warm and fulfilled. It was the perfect ending.
I don't think the french was too random at all!
I'm glad you liked Fleur's character- her ending was one of the few things I was pleased with. Writing about young children was harder than I thought :P And aw, thank you for saying I have a knack for descriptions, it makes me feel really happy :)
Thank you for such a wonderful review :D