Reviews For Absolution

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2017 12:36 AM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Seven

And here's a chapter featuring my girl Alice defying the patriarchy. I love it.


Omg how entitled is Henry to ask Alice to fix his sleeve immediately because he will get cold otherwise? She should have just handed him a needle and thread and been like "well if it's that important, you'll either learn or be cold". This probably wouldn't have gone over too well I guess, but I don't like Henry.


It almost seems like she starts smoking just because she has nothing else to do, and I feel really bad for her in that sense - she has so much annoyance at the gender role norms but no way to direct that anger in a useful way, especially while she's on a ship. Hence why I think if/when she makes it to America she'll be awesome in the suffragette movement. But until then I sympathize with her so much being stuck in this role that's told to her with no idea how to really create the change she wants to see. I think that's something a lot of people can relate to.


Henry showed a little bit of compassion there but it still feels really shallow. I believe he does genuinely feel bad for her that she doesn't have the same privileges, but he doesn't care enough to change anything. And I really dislike how controlling he is, even if he says its for her own good - Alice has her own brain and can make her own decisions, Henry. I will only believe Henry when he stops being a vulture over her shoulder telling her she will regret her every move, and lets her have some autonomy.


LAst but not least I love that you have real people cameos in here. You clearly did so much research and I love the feel of authenticity it gives to the whole story.

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2017 11:30 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Six

Elizabeth's dress sounds gorgeous. Also the glass dome and marble stairs and just everything about the setting here. You provide such rich detail and I'm so easily able to imagine it. I honestly love when writers specify what kind of wood something is, like that actually gives a huge indication of what something looks like, so I like that you pointed out was oak :P


I can't believe the 11 course meal wasn't just a welcome dinner thing, but was an everyday thing. It's so extravagant! And especially as you follow this with a section about Lucy, that contrast is so sharp. It really does sound like the third class passengers have more fun :P A dancing hall! That sounds like so much fun and Lucy and Joseph getting to know one another and him teaching her to dance was really adorable.


Hhhmmmm. Not sure what to make of Thomas. It almost seems he might have sort of a thing for the steward? That'd make things a little interesting...


This was another great chapter! I am really enjoying this story.

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2017 08:39 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Five

I'm back for more!


Aw, Lucy is kinda breaking my heart here, how she's so optimistic that this voyage towards a better life will be exactly what her family needs, especially after her Mama has been so understandably upset following the death of one of her children. I just feel so bad because I know that the probability of all seven of them surviving is really small...


The way Joseph and Lucy talk about how much fun they're having compared to the first and second class passengers they can see was really great. To the third class passengers, probably just being on a ship like this is incredible - Lucy even mentions the food is better than she's used to. I think it's true that people who don't take as much for granted tend to be happier with what they have. It's such a marked contrast to Elizabeht a few chapters ago wondering what the other women would think if she ate too much and whether she'd be talked about for the remainder of the voyage.


I also like that you do a good job of reminding the reader that Lucy is still quite young. The line about how she's happy her mum will be feeling better so she can take care of the younger kids again and Lucy doesn't have to have that responsibility rang true as very kid-like :P


I really loved Alice and Arthur's discussion about the classes. A lot of what Arthur says is still incredibly  relevant 105 years later... And I really appreciated Alice conflating the issue with feminism, because you can't just consider class issues separate from gender equality - class issues have to consider everyone in that class, and vice versa - feminism isn't just about the rich women or any specific group of women - it's all women. Also a very relevant topic for today.


This was a great chapter! I loved the social commentary and I'm really curious about Arthur. He didn't seem 100% on board with Alices feminism, although granted he did listen to her  and consider her point of view. But I'm really curious how their acquaintance will develop and whether they'll work together to create some positive change.

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2017 12:13 AM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Four

Eleven course meal?? Wow. That's almost intimidating. Like I wouldn't know what to do with all that food. That's even more food than Thanksgiving. And Elizabeth can't even enjoy it because she's stuck wearing a very limiting corset :(


Thomas does not seem very into this marriage and I have some misgivings about their relationship. Something tells me it's going to fall apart before long - I mean, even if it weren't for the eventual demise of the Titanic - and they've been married only two months! But it seems to me that he's a lot happier just hanging around with the other men than spending time with his wife. Hmm.


Ugh, Henry strikes again. I really don't like him. But I love Alice and how she continues to stand up for herself and points out the hypocrisy in everything Henry is demanding of her. I know the rules and taboos of society were different at that time, but those rules changed because they were stupid and because women like Alice were tired of double standards of what men and women could do. I also can't wait for Alice to meet Elizabeth because I think Elizabeth lives in a pretty sheltered world and abides by the societal rules just because she hasn't thought not to or that there's anything wrong with them, and she could learn a lot from Alice and it'd just be an interesting dynamic.


Another wondeful chapter!

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 10:03 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Three

Unimportant note but this chapter is exactly the same number of words as the previous one and I think that's really cool.


Ok, on to the review!


One thing I'd never really considered about the Titanic was that it picked up people in different places before starting its transatlantic voyage. Maybe that's a silly, obvious thing to have not realized, but... I just never really thought about it before. So I like that you start each main character's story with when they get on board and it's not all at the same time because they're from different places.


Oh no. Poor Lucy. Not only must it be a hard thing to move across the world when you're so young, but she's clearly just lost someone in her family and I suspect that in the next six days she will lose at least one more. :(


I love that you focused on the boarding process for all of them, and what a drastic difference between Elizabeth's experience and Lucy's - no one to greet them and they don't know where to go, versus Elizabeth being greeted and shown to her ornately decorated suite. I'm so glad you really went into the class differences and the variety of things people would have experienced depending on their class.


There is so much history in here. I mean, I know, it's historical, but you've tied together a lot of things. I wonder if this takes place during the famine in Ireland? (I admit I don't know much about Irish history) given that her third brother died and that so many Irish are migrating to the USA. I will have to read on and find out!


Lucy and her sisters are so sweet, there on the deck saying goodbye to Ireland. Aww.


I love Alice's feminism. She is maybe my favorite of the three main characters so far. My least favorite character is Alice's brother, for obviuos reasons :P


Another great chapter!

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 09:44 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Two

It's been a while since I read the first chapter of this  and I'm so happy to be back!


Henry seems very privileged. The fact that he's just going on this voyage to have fun and have something to brag about while Alice is being shipped off to America without her opinions considered is pretty irritating and I'd be miffed if I were Alice. When (...if?) she makes it to America she can join the women's suffrage movement which would be big around that time, and based on the little I know of Alice and how she reacts to her brother's privileges as a man, I think she'd be right at home there :P But... I'm getting ahead of myself, considering this is a story about a ship that sinks and I'm only on chapter two.


For some reason, that gave Alice a funny feeling in her stomach. She had heard somebody claim that it seemed unwise to insult God's power to execute His will in that way, and a small part of her agreed  -- In which Alice is a seer. And as a side note, as a superstitious person she'd fit right in among sailors, who are also notoriously superstitious about things like this. She has the right instincts on a boat! :P


Also the woman next to Alice seems to share these suspicions. So far in this story the women have the best sailing senses. Which is ironic because old superstitions say women are bad luck on board, but they seem to be the only ones who sense that bad things are coming :P LISTEN TO THE WOMEN


Omg, you'd think that nearly hitting another ship immediately off the dock would be enough of a sign that they should TURN AROUND. ABORT MISSION. I wonder what that boat was coming so close for? Probably to tell the captain to TURN AROUND YALL ARE GONNA SINK


I love the amount of research done for this story. It makes it truly feal realistic because all those details set the scene perfectly. I loved the descriptions of the boarding gangway, and the interior of Elizabeth's suite, just everything. There is so much detail and it brings the story alive. Also because I used to work on ships I notice and appreciate all the specifics you've mentioned about the ship, and that you described the mechanics of bringing it out of the harbor, or anchoring where the Cherbourg passengers have to take a tender out there. Although poor Elizabeth who's so worried about her appearance and then probably has to climb up a big ladder from the tender to the Titanic, in a fancy skirt. :S


This was another really great chapter! I love the dramatic irony so present in this chapter as the reader obviously knows the eventual fate of the Titanic and you've had fun playing around with that in what the characters percieve :P Loved it. I can't wait to read more.

Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2017 01:33 AM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Two

I just did the thing where I clicked to the next chapter without realized I'd done it, so bravo to you!


Your end notes blew me away! I can't believe you even figured out empty rooms for your character. That's so cool! Your research and attention to detail in this are admirable, in general.


Alice's feeling that the near collision was a bad omen gave me goosebumps. Talk about DRAMATIC IRONY, my goodness. ALSO EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO HER ABOUT NOT FLAUNTING THE SHIP'S STREGTH... I might be a little superstitious. In any case, i want to yell at her to jump ship and swim back to shore. Sigh. I like her feminiist spirit. It's really not fair to have to move to a completely new country without even being asked. Her poor parents, though - they're going to feel SO guilty when the ship sinks. 


There are many historical elements of this I'd never thought about. Like, having to take a little boat to get on the big boat (or is that still a thing?), or how many people went out simply to watch the boat's departure. All these little details make it feel very real. 


Oh dear. It seems my first impression of Elizabeth and Thomas' relationship may have been overly rosy. They do seem to care about each other, but it doesn't seem very passionate. Mayeb she'll find love elsewhere... ;)


I find it interesting that Elizabeth, who I imagine is used to formal social events, is nevertheless seduced by the grandeur of the Titanic. I think that's part of the appeal of all Titanic stories for me, so I relate to her - and, it makes the ship feel sort of outside reality, as if the troubles of real life cannot penetrate. Which is obviously untrue in many ways, not least the class structure, but still, I think there's a feeling of that for the first class passengers. 


I hope I'll have a chance to read chapter 3 soon!

xoxo Renee

Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2017 12:49 AM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One

Hello dear!

I'm here for the snowball fight, but more importantly because I've intended to read this story for SO LONG now. I can't believe I never got to it before.

I am not a particular fan of Titanic the film (please don't hate me), but I find the ship itself aluring and the event is obviously super interesting (and tragic). Looking forward to this!

I like these little vignette style introductions to each character, because they leave me with a lot of questions that make me want to read on. Alice stikes me as determined and forthright. She's traveling with her brother, but since I don't know the ship's layout (and I can't remember from the summary haha), I don't know her backstory at all. So I have many questions about her! 

Lucy strikes me as somewhat more motherly, or at least, as thrust into that role if her little sisters are going to her when they're scared. I remember that her family is immigrating from Ireland. I'm curious how they were able to afford tickets, even in the lower class, in order to have two rooms. They must have worked hard to make this happen! Oh gosh, I hope Lucy's sisters survive. Eeep. 

And then you have Elizabeth, who I presently feel I have the clearest picture of. Recently married, and seemingly well off if she took a European trip from America. I appreciate her perceptiveness and intelligence in this scene. And her relationship with her husband appears loving, which I find cozy and soothing. I had never considered the noise of boat travel (I've never even been on a cruise), but it makes sense and gave me a great sensory "dunking" into this world. 

I am very eager to see where this goes from here, and especially how the story is paced/set up. If the ship has already hit the iceberg, that has intriguing implications about the plot, pacing, and structure. 

Back soon!

xoxo Renee


Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 28 Jun 2017 11:18 AM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One

Hey Rebecca,

So this is my first time reading original fiction so obviously I had to pick this one as it's award winning but it was the concept that really caught my eye as I think it's such an interesting subject with lots of scope for stories. I think following your three main characters is really great for storytelling as we get a look into each life as they are all different so it's like telling the story for three angles gives the reader such a chance to build up a whole picture. I obviously don't know if you plan to weave their stories together later into your novel but I love the idea of the threads coming together like that so you've already make me wanting to read one after just one chapter of this! That's such a skill as a writer to draw the audience in!

I think i loved how you introduced each character in this chapter by them experiencing the same event which judging by the date and time is the first signs that it's sinking not that they know it yet! I'm looking forward to seeing if we're going to get a time jump back like this is a flash forward or if the story is starting from the sinking. I liked the description of how the boat is tipping/swaying from side to side. I'm going to be back soon to read some of this because I'm excited by the whole concept of this and look forward to knowing more about the girls. Good job :)

- Abbi xo    

Name: sunshinedaisieswindmills (Signed) · Date: 19 Jun 2017 10:56 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One



I’m finally back for more! Okay I have to say, I’m a little disappointed about the lack of Lucy in this chapter, if only because she is somehow already my favorite and I want to read more about her. It was an interesting choice to leave her boarding out—although actually I just checked and found that she got on later than the others! How clever to have them get on at different stops! Now that I’ve got that complaint out of the way…


This was another fantastic chapter! The thing that struck me the most is how well you’ve done conveying the grandeur of the Titanic, even to a modern audience. I think the Titanic is so prevalent in our culture it’s been kind of minimized. It’s really hard for people to understand how big it was, and how big of a deal it was. I know I certainly didn’t really understand the magnitude of the Titanic until you pointed it out to me. It’s titanic. That word has become synonymous with the ship, but it was named that for a reason. It was titanic. Like a titan. The way you pointed that out was so subtle and it just absolutely knocked my socks off. Excellent job of making history seem current!


The other thing I wanted to mention is the characterization here! You’ve always had a knack for creating really strong characters, who are all different but all likeable and relatable. I’m thinking of Lily’s group of friends in The Shadows Within and A Million Little Things. You’re so good at creating groups of really diverse characters and making them all so strong and important to the plot. In this chapter in particular, I definitely noticed how well you differentiated Alice and Elizabeth. Their personalities are coming out strongly, and the section from their perspective is just so them. Elizabeth is a little vain, so she’s noticing all the luxurious details and famous people; Alice seems much more down do earth, and doesn’t particularly want to be there, so she’s noticing the more negative things. There was a very real tone switch between those two perspectives and I LOVED it. I’m excited to see how Lucy fits into the mix!


And random, I love the detail of Henry’s pocket watch. Is that a real thing? Like can I look up pictures of this pocket watch online? BECAUSE THAT IS SO COOL KFJAIOEWKFS.


Anyway, lovely chapter!







Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 18 Jun 2017 08:00 PM · starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One

I’ve heard a lot of great things about this story, and I’m really curious about it! Be warned though, I am an absolute wimp about long chapters, so as much as I enjoy this chapter, you shouldn’t hold your breath for me coming back too quickly for the others.

Oh, so you’re starting this story quite close to the sinking!

I actually hadn’t realized this was original fiction - I thought you had inserted some magical characters into the story. While that would have been interesting, I have to give you huge kudos for developing such a strong (and evidently popular) original piece.

I can’t help but read every rattle and shadow as foreboding, though the characters wouldn’t necessarily think that. A ship like that would be bound to make lots of strange noises, impending disaster or not. If I was on the ship I would probably just trust that there were sciencey boaty things I didn’t understand and that others had them under control

The research you’ve done on this already really shows. Even though I don’t know many details about the Titanic, but the fact that you do shows. You’ve also balanced this well by not drowning us in details and exposition, but creating a very real world.

Oh wait, that was hitting the iceberg? Aaagggghhhhh You’re jumping right in there!

From this chapter, I don’t really know much about the characters. They are all kind of in similar situations - traveling with others, going to find out what’s happening. I would have liked to see their personalities more strongly developed so I could distinguish them better, but I am sure you do that soon, and I admire you literally starting with the action.

This is really intriguing and I hope I overcome my long-chapters phobia and give the rest of it a read!


Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2017 01:14 AM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One

Hi! I'm here because you replied to Brax's tweet about review swaps and it sent to me too, and I'd been meaning to read this story for ages. Since you were technically responding just to Brax and not me, I'm not expecting a swap, so don't feel pressured to :p I just really wanted to read some of this!


also I should warn you that Im typing this on my phone, so sorry for any typos!


I love this so far. There is so much potential for storylines about the Titanic (hence why the movie was so popular) but it seems that the movie is the main thing that comes to mind when people think of the Titanic. So with that, I'm super stoked to find you're writing original fiction about it. Also, having spent a good chunk of my life working on ships, I am just really excited to  see this story that's set on a ship :P


What a great place to start out, too - a little snapshot into the lives of these three women just at the moment when the iceberg hit (though of course they don't know that). I'm really interested to see where this story goes - into their past, or how their paths cross after the event. I doubt they have met beforehand, or at leas Lucy and Elizabeth, judging from how litle/how much they heard the noise they seem to be on different decks which would place them in different classes, as well as just being in different  phases of life. Anyway, Im curious to know more about all of them!


also, last but not least, I'm happy to see that the three main characters are women. There aren't enough stories about women on boats (probs due to the superstition, but after a while you get tired of reading about men chasing whales)


This is such a wonderful start and I can absolutely understand why it ended up story of the month!



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 20 May 2017 09:14 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Three

Hello lovely! I'm here for our review swap :) I'm thoroughly enjoying this story so far, despite my ominous feelings. It's so clearly written and very readable, and I'm already in sympathy with some of the characters. Given that a significant proportion of the ship's travellers won't make it, I know there's some heartbreak ahead :(

Poor young Lucy, apprehensive about what the future holds in America and the responsibilities weighing on her shoulders. Did you mention how old she was (I might have missed that detail)? I'm guessing maybe early teens? I guess it was the norm for older siblings to chip in and help take care of the younger ones, but it's hard for her to have both her sisters to take care of in one room whilst her parents and brothers are elsewhere. I wonder what happened to the eighth family member and does thins have anything to do with the mother's dazed/confused behaviour? Or is there something else going on? I'm so sorry for all the questions, by the way! I'm just curious to learn why.

It must have been awful for the family to be examined like that in full view of other passengers, with no dignity afforded at all. Typical of the period and the differences between the classes, but that sort of treatment would have done nothing to close the divide. Wth all the diseases and parasites that thrive on people living in such close proximity, I'm not surprised the powers that be would want to limit spread by checking passengers prior to boarding, but in which case ... check them all? :( That was quite a chillingly premonitory "ship saying goodbye" from Lucy.

The dynamic between Henry and Alice is quite an interesting and potentially turbulent one. They clearly don't get on all that well, and Henry's behaviour certainly seems to irritate Alice (I loved the fact that she didn't want to knit any longer, because the hobby wasn't serving the purpose she intended, namely to irritate her brother in some way). Personally, I don't think it's fair that Henry doesn't have to help look after his grandmother as well, but such was life in those days; women had very little control over anything, including their own happiness.

Arthur Thompson, the journalist, comes across as a potentially very interesting character. I'm keen to find out what he was doing in Britain when he mainly wrote articles for a New York city newspaper. There's something a bit creepy about a man who studies people, even if it is for the purpose of writing. I suppose the fact that he's open about it takes the rough edges off. I suspect Henry has already developed a dislike of Arthur - is Alice's "inappropriate" behavour what he wanted to talk to her about?

So, the ship has sailed. This was another fantastic chapter; your characters are really beginning to come to life, and I'm intrigued to find out what other background stories are yet to be revealed. Thank you so much for the swap!

Brax X

Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 17 May 2017 04:40 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Two

Hello, lovely! I'm here to continue from where I left off yesterday :) I love this descriptive chapter, which sets the scene beautifully for the voyage across the Atlantic, although the exit from Southampton docks was not without its drama. Two of the main sets of characters are starting to develop really nicely, and I'm getting a real picture in my head of Alice/Henry and Elizabeth/Thomas. I wonder whether there will be some interaction between the protagonistic parties, or whether the stories will be kept essentially separate? I'm looking forward to finding out.

Poor Alice; I really understand her woes here, even if Henry can't. Having to take care of her grandmother is NOT the same as simply visiting her! Depending on how old Alice is (I can't remember if this has been stated yet or not, apologies if I've missed it somewhere), and how ill her grandmother is, this could prove a very challenging and unpleasant "holiday" for Alice. Henry's pride in being part of the Titanic's maiden voyage is understandable; I bet most passengers on that ship felt the same - many would have been eagerly thinking of how good this would be to boast about when the ship docked in New York. :(

I love the descriptions of the ship through Alice's eyes in Southampton, and the near-miss with the New York - did the passengers know the name of the boat they nearly hit?

My apologies whilst reviewing Ch 1 - I think I got it completely wrong regarding which passengers were 1st class and which were 2nd (I'm so sorry!).

I had a terrible sense of impending doom strike when I read Elizabeth's thoughts of how much she was looking forward to starting her new life as Thomas's wife. My blood ran cold for a moment, and I'm a little fearful that only one of the happy couple will make it :/

Considering that Elizabeth's and Thomas's marriage was "engineered", as was typical of matchmaking in high society back in the early part of the 20th Century, they do seem to get on quite well and seem to share a rapport, even if Elizabeth is slightly more open and generous with her affection than Thomas.

OMG, I am really loving this story so far! You are such a talented writer to bring these scenes to life the way that you do, and your writing has such an easy elegance to it; it makes each chapter such a pleasure to read and review.

I'll be back very soon!

Brax X

Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 16 May 2017 03:01 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One

Hello lovely! I'm stopping by because a/ I've been meaning to read this story for absolutely aaaages now, and b/ it's been nominated for FROGS. I am so pleased that I've finally got around to starting this; I've heard so many amazing things about this story!

I absolutely adore that it's original fiction, and I'm so impressed with your skills at crafting it virtually from scratch. Secondly, I used to be utterly obsessed with anything Titanic-related (not necessarily the 1997 film, but more the actual ship and factual events taking place). My obsession is a bit more controllable these days, but it's still there. Therefore, I'm massvely excited to read this story!

The first chapter, set at the moment when the ship strikes the berg, fills me with sadness for all those that didn't make it safely to dry land. It's such a poignant moment. I love how you've given us a snapshot of three different scenarios aboard the famous ship; Alice, returning to her cabin on C-deck is obviously one who hails from the upper classes of society. I wonder where she's been, so late at night? Lucy, Eva and Josephine are travelling in steerage, I'm guessing, and Elizabeth and Thomas sound very representative of the middle-class component. With so few words in this chapter, you've really beautifully captured the scenes from several different viewpoints. I'm already really worried for Lucy et al in this, as most of steerage, especially the men, didn't make it out alive :(

I'm so sorry it took me so long before I started to read this, more for my own regret really, because this has been AMAZING so far, and although I have quite a few stories on my list for FROGS reading, I'll be sure to return to this one soon. Part of me cannot wait to find out what happens, and the other part of me is dreading it.

Wonderfully written, as all your stories are!

Brax X

Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 09 May 2017 02:40 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Seven

A chapter, all for Alice?! No, wait, a chapter where she's a rebellious star? You have no idea how happy this chapter made me.


 I like that at first she did what Henry asked for but did it haphazardly and that was her way of revolting against what I would say is Henry's tyranny. I mean what does he do for her so that she has to follow his every command? What does she owe him for? I may get it when parents behave like that because they believe you owe them your life. But siblings? Especially horrid ones? What do they bring to the table?


But then, she decides to smoke to spite Henry. And while it is my duty to disapprove of smoking as a habit, I had my fist triumphantly up in the air when Henry catches her on the deck. I do wonder whether she does things because she wants to or just to challenge social standards. I do feel that it is the latter, and I wish it were the prior, but I fully understand that she's just finding pleasure in these small rebellions as there is little else that she could do.


And yes, Henry, the way to make someone stop smoking is by smoking instead of them. Well done, Henry. You seem like you really know how to handle things.


I hope it's okay that I berated one of your characters, but I strongly think he deserved it. 

Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 09 May 2017 07:26 AM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Six

Hello again! Hope you're not tired of me yet.


I really loved reading the scene where Elizabeth was getting all dressed up. Your use of details in describing the process was exquisite and I could practically see her in all her glory. It was such a lovely touch. How she blushes when her husband compliments and how adorable they both are goes to show how it's still so early in the relationship for these two, but I can feel chaos coming on. 


 After the previous chapter with Lucy and Alice, I was starting to feel that perhaps Elizabeth is the one I know the least about because all we've seen of her so far are these cute moments with her husband, but not much to show what she believes in or what sort of person she is. I do love seeing the ship and it's luxuries and , of course, the first class occupants through her eyes. I've had a few things in mind for what's up with Thomas and why he seems so distracted and even detached at times. But I will not draw any conclusions yet just based on this chapter. But I'm glad that we're beginning to see some sort of premise for Elizabeth and Thomas's story. 


Lucy and Joseph are so adorable, and they bring me so much joy. I loved seeing a role for Oscar because what is the point of having younger siblings if they're not going to tease you about every breath you take --let alone talking to a boy. I do wonder if Oscar is going to relay anything about it to their parents.


  I enjoyed the twist on the 'I like this song' cliche because she really wasn't trying to insinuate anything, she was just picking a neutral topic so their siblings wouldn't have anything else to nag them about. It was also nice to see Joseph get a little bit flustered in the moment as well. Overall, the scene was written very well and the vibrancy and vivaciousness of the room came through.


And I would say that alternating between Elizabeth and Lucy was a good decision. Not because it makes the chapter not feel as heavy/long (because I don't think it would've been so either way), but because it does imply passage of time without making it dreary, especially since you've matched up the time of Lucy's curfew and the time when Elizabeth started to fret about how late Thomas was. It made it feel like we're on the ship with them and looking at different rooms/aspects of it as the day goes on, almost like a movie. Am I making any sense?


Anyway, on to the next chapter!

Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 08 May 2017 12:45 AM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Five

I'm back again for more, but also for the BVB. 


As a passionat foodie, I really am enjoying the spotlight you have on food in the story. It's such an important part of any voyage/trip but more so when it's on a cruise/ship because you don't have any other options. It was also great to see the contrast between the way Elizabeth (in the previous chapter) and Lucy approached food. Where Elizabeth has an image to keep up and doesn't want people to judge her for eating too much, Lucy was just indulging and impressed with her meal, simple as it may have been. It was also interesting to see the how there were less social constraints on Lucy, and she could go take a walk with a stranger who is also a boy (the scandal!), as opposed to Alice who basically got chastised by Henry for what I can't consider anything more than breathing next to a man. 


 I loved the detail about her picking at her cuticles since I do that too. Mostly during conversations with people I don't know quite well. It felt very relatable. 


 I feel like I've said this in every review so far, but I LOVE ALICE. And she's an absolute star in this chapter. It's befuddling but not surprising that even a man like Arthur who apparenty is passionate about social justice and the discrepancies between social classes hadn't thought about the divide between genders. And that is very realistic and goes to show how much people were used to the situation that they failed to see the issue with it unless someone bluntly ponted it out. And even then, they would try to argue and rationalise.


Even though it was a very platonic exchange, I was on the edge of my seat, a wide smile on my face as Alice navigated this conversation. And she may have lost the chess game, but she definitely cornered him into conceding to her points. Which I suppose is a difficult thing for a man to do, regardless of his views on women's liberation. 


I'm so glad to see that you're going to be tackling such important issues that existed at the time through your characters! I feel that it adds a lot to the narrative already. The story is still as engaging as ever, and definitely getting more interesting as we progress. Can't wait to see what else you've got!


Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 06 May 2017 11:42 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Four

 Hey there, I'm finally back, but this time for the BVB. I'm so eager to sink back into this stunning story. 

 Right of the bat, I admired how you started this chapter by discussing mannerisms at that time. It was such an amusing opening, and it made your character feel much more real and relatable. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult surviving an 11-course meal every day would be, especially when there were people with nothing better to do than nitpick on things like someone's personal eating habits. How rude.


 I've got to admit that reading that bit where Elizabeth and the ladies were gossiping and making plans for when the voyage filled me with this odd, sad feeling because I know they're not gonna get to any of it. Knowing how things would end (or at least the big picture of it) is the woe but also the charm of historical fiction, and part of why I enjoy it so much.


 I also really liked the interaction between Elizabeth and her husband. The portrayal of tenderness, nervousness, and uncertainty went really well to give us a glimpse at the sort of relationship these two newly-weds share. And because they're newly-weds, all of this nervousness makes sense. And I'm eager to see how their relationship progresses as the story goes. 


 Threatening women with their reputation and its capability to ruin them... Heh, I'm finding it very difficult to find one thing to like about Henry. I just loathe how patronising he is when he's talking to Alice, but I can't help but admire how that brings out a more fierce side to her. It was great to see her stand by her actions and address the hypocrisy of society at the time. I love this girl!


 This was, once again, a lovely chapter. You do an amazing job using words to set the mood and the scene just enough to take me there in that fancy, vintage headspace. And I enjoy that immensely! Cannot wait to read more of this soon!


Author's Response:

Sink back into the story?  I see what you did there! :) I am so glad that you are back and that you are enjoying it.  Feedback past the first couple chapters is sparse so it means a lot to me.  I had a similar reaction to you when I found out about the 11 courses but, apparently, that was normal.  I am also glad to hear that Henry is annoying you, as weird as that sounds.  Thank you so much! :)

Name: Jen25 (Signed) · Date: 02 May 2017 05:46 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One


I'm here for your review for the Titanic Challenge. Sorry I'm late! I'm loving this story so far! The characterizations mixed with historical fact is really great. The way the relationships are protrayed are awesome, too. Keep it up! :D


Author's Response:

Thank you! No worries about being late!  I'm glad that you have started and hope you continue! :) Thanks for the challenge, it really pushed me out of my comfort zone with sharing an original fic.

Name: sunshinedaisieswindmills (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2017 01:07 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One


I’ve been meaning to check out this story for ages, so I’m glad CTF finally gave me the push to do it! Now that I’m here I’m wondering why on earth it took me so long to get here! This story has like, all of my favorite things, history, multiple intertwining stories, realistic stories that have been thoroughly researched, THE STORIES TAKING PLACE IN THE DIFFERENT CLASSES!!!!! It’s like this was designed for me!


So this is an excellent beginning. I was not at all expecting you to start right when the ship hit the iceberg, so you’ve already drawn me in and got me hooked in where these characters are going to end up. (I’m hoping none of them end up at the bottom of the sea, but something tells me that might be a pipe dream.) That said, I’m also interested in how these ladies got on to the titanic in the first place. Why was Alice out by herself in the middle of the night? How long has Lucy been taking care of her sisters like she does? Are Elizabeth and Thomas really in love, or was this more of a marriage of convenience? I WANNA KNOW ALL OF THE THINGS. It’s very impressive that you can stir up such interest in your characters in so few words. Because really, we’ve only been given a little blip about each woman, but you chose their introductory scenes so well, I think it gave us a really solid idea of the three characters. You can tell Lucy is kind and motherly (did she lose her mother? Is she the oldest? I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT LUCY), Alice seems to be a bit of an adventurer (if maybe a little nervous), and Elizabeth seems to be a little spoiled without coming across as a total brat. I’m so looking forward to reading the rest of this story! <3

Author's Response:

Hello Katie!  I'm glad that the first chapter got you interested.  And you have no idea how pleased I am that you are enjoying my attempt at a 3 strand, different versions of the same experience thing.  And something historical.  No wonder I was so intrigued by In Fields of Poppies, it is clearly my cup of tea.  This review has left me smiling so thank you so much for leaving it and I'm sorry it has taken me so long to respond!

Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 03 Apr 2017 09:50 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Three

Hey there again! I'm still here, enjoying this! 

 It was nice to finally get properly introduced to your third leading. I had never known before that they really checked third class passengers for lice. It's such an interesting fact. I'm gonna keep an eye out for more of those as I go on.

 I stand by my opinion that I like Alice. Her discomfort/uncertainty during her interaction with Arthur is a characterestic I can strongly relate to. I do like her voice a lot (supressed as it may be thus far). And I have a feeling I'm going to have many issues with her brother. Although I'm not sure how much one can blame men of that age for the misconceptions they were brought up with. But still, that doesn't change the fact that he could possibly be a nuance for the character I like. 

 Now that I know a little bit more about each of the girls, I can't wait to see what you bring upon them next. 

Author's Response:

I feel like I am repeating myself a lot but thank you for giving this story a chance.  It is the first time I have really shared original fiction so knowing that somebody is a) willing reading and b) enjoying it truly does mean a lot.  I hope you don't mind what I have in store for all of them.  Thankfully, there will be no more lice checks (eww, I know).  :)

Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 02 Apr 2017 08:40 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Two

I can't help but marvel at how well-researched this story seems to be. And with the great writing style, it all feels rather authentic. Which I suppose is one of the most important thing for a story like this one. So I commend you on that.

I enjoyed how you introduced us to your characters in bite-sized bits of information in between dialogue, mentioned at relevant points. So it didn't feel as though I was having it all being thrown at me (I hate it when that happens), but instead as though I was properly getting to know them. 

 At the moment, I'm mostly excited about Alice's part of the story. Her thoughts on how her parents treated her very differently from her brother make me wonder if this will bring on some conflict between the two of them. 

We didn't get as much time with Elisabeth, so I haven't formed any opinions about her and Thomas yet, but I'd love to see how their relationship develops as the story goes on, and I suppose what happens to them that fateful night of the crash. 

 The story overall, so far anyway, is giving me Downton Abbey vibes, which I'm enjoying very much. And I'm looking forward to seeing the plot thicken.

Author's Response:

This hhas left a smile on my face.  I have a soft spot for Alice myself, despite the fact that she can be a bit snarky.  Or maybe I like her *because* she is snarky, if I'm honest.  And ding ding ding on the conflict.  I'm so glad you continued this.  Thanks and hope to see you again!

Name: manno-malfoy (Signed) · Date: 02 Apr 2017 06:47 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: One

Hello there! I have seen your story on the forums today and I decided to swing by because it sounded very intersting. 

And it is! I was actually surprised that you started the story off the night the Titanic hit the iceberg, so I'm quite intrigued to see where you take it next. From what I've seen so far, I really like the way you write. The quick glimpses at who I assume are your leading ladies have successfully left me wanting more.

So I will go ahead and do just that! 

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing!  I'm always excited when somebody stumbles across one of my stories when it is not the result of a swap or challenge.  I hope you enjoy the rest and who you have correctly dubbed the leading ladies. :)

Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 01 Apr 2017 03:41 PM · [Report This]
Story:Absolution Chapter: Two

Ah ha! I was hoping this would happen - that you'd start with a bang (literally) and then take us back to the events leading up. Excellent!


It really is quite eerie (and bittersweet?) to read about the circumstances that got Alice and Henry onto the ship, and how excited Henry is, when I know what's going to happen :( I love your historical accuracy too, like Alice not being listened to.


The details of the clothing is amazing. You've really put a lot of thought and research into this, and it pays off. I feel completely transported to 1912. Also, as the ship set off, I had the music from the movie in my head and it added to the perfection.


Again, I love that we have a different class of characters. It makes for a great reading experience, and I never tire of hearing about the class differences on the ship. Also, I never knew about Titanic nearly hitting another ship, so there you go! I'm learning! :D


Great work again, can't wait to see where it goes!

Author's Response:

Thank you for your feedback on the time jump.  I was hoping people wouldn't be upset with being shoved back to the first part of the journey after starting with so much action and drama.  Haha I'm glad you are learning some things.  There really were so many coincidences and bad omens, if you believe in that sort of thing.  Thank you for continuing. :)

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