Hello my love!
Okay so I read Shine a couple of days ago - how could I not come check out your half?! I am honestly fascinated with how the two of you wrote Zacharias, I love how you've described him as a hero, even when the world didn't see it that way. Of course, after reading your piece, I see him even more as a hero!
I love how you describe Ari's anxiety throughout the whole piece. It's not in your face but it's enough that we get a sense of her character, and as someone who has experience with anxiety, I think it was handled very well and was enough for me to feel her fear as well!
And Theseus! What a dreamy name and dreamy person! Terrible that he turned out like he did, poor Ari :( it was so sad that her experience with him only built on her anxiety when the Death Eaters came.
This (and Shine) is the first set of companion pieces I've read, and I have to say, I'm deeply impressed! It really adds to the reading experience and I've enjoyed reading both your stories very much :)
I just want to finish by pulling this out: "But the thing about angels is, when they fall they often turn into devils." Ah. Maze. Ing. You give me chills, gurl.
Love Bianca x
Hello again, my sweet Bianca!
Aww... You don't know how much I love it when people come here after reading Shine! Kristin is an extraordinary writer, and I feel so lucky to have worked with her! This story really wouldn't have been the same without her help (it wouldn't have existed, probably, since she had the idea of Zach and Ari in the first place...)
We've always seen Zacharias through Harry's eyes, and we know that Harry can be a bit biased in his judgement... We wanted to show a different side to Zach, making him a hero, even if in a non-standard way. I'm glad you found it fascinating!!! :D
I honestly love Ariadne. She is so fragile, but also strong in her own way. I'm so glad to hear that you found I handled her anxiety well, clear but not overdone.
As for Theseus... Yes, he seemed wonderful in the beginning... Poor Ari, indeed... :( Fortunately, Zach was looking out for her, right?
Writing with another person is really a fascinating experience (especially if the other person is someone as brilliant as Kristin)! You should definitely try it, if you get the chance! It's incredibly rewarding!
People love that sentence for some reason... *whistling* No, I'm not bragging, not at all... (btw, I love your puns, you know that, don't you?)
I'm transfering reviews from HPFF to HPFT and found the first ever review that I wrote you! And here goes!
It's super refreshing to read about OCs, because it gives a lot more scope for out of the box thinking. It was nice to read about someone else's though process post voldy's return, through DH.
Towards the end, your words were so powerful! Domestic abuse is a powerful social issue, and you've described it just as heart wrenching as it is. And the part about Zach saving her, I just welled up. I mean, what else are families for. I know it's a little weird, but I do understand why she found it diffucult to leave. Most abusees don't just leave. That's why its such a pressing problem.
It also gave a completely different view of the Zach we know from the books - an idiot nonetheless - was portrayed as a savior here. It was really nice to see this side of him.
It was an amazingly written chapter, and I love the way you dealth with domestic abuse. This is where I became a super huge fan of your work!!
Yes, our first review swap... that seems so long ago... I'm so glad we decided to do it because we wouldn't have this wonderful friendship going on otherwise!!!
Anyway, transferring my response :P
Thank you so much again for the swap!!! :)
I'm really glad you enjoyed reading Ari's thought process. She was an interesting character to work with.
I'm just so glad you found my words powerful, and that you think I did a good job writing about domestic abuse (I was really scared about it...) Sadly, women often find it hard to get out of these situations. Ariadne was lucky to have her brother looking out for her.
The idea of writing Zacharias under a different light actually came from Kristin. This story wouldn't exist if it wasn't for her. I'm very happy you're going to check out her piece as well! I'm sure you'll enjoy it!!! :)
Thank you so much for all the appreciative comments and the wonderful review!!!
All my love, hugs and kisses!
I just finished reading Shine which definitely left me wanting more about Zacharias and Ariadne's relationship, so I'm excited to be able to come to this piece!
I like how you show the relationship between Ariadne and Zacharias without too much exposition, just between their jokes and looks we get a solid sense of their relationship.
I like that we get to see the responsibility that Ariadne feels towards Zach. She has lots of things to worry about, and he is certainly high on that list, and she does try to take care of him. This is cool to see, since in the companion story the focus is on Zacharias taking care of her.
I thought there was a bit of a strange jump in the section starting her 7th year. It is all very focused on the first day of classes, but then time seemed to shift when you reference "the tyranny of that awful woman that was making everyone's lives at the school so hard," when seemingly that same day Ariadne didn't know what Umbridge would be like. After that point you do more deliberately speed through time, and I found myself wishing that you would show-not-tell a bit more. I think it might have helped to make the last couple paragraphs of that section into a seperate section and narrating that event instead of summing it up.
I'm really glad to see that Ariadne was able to open her clinic and that her anxiety didn't keep her from reaching that goal. When I read about that being her dream earlier in the fic I was worried she wouldn't get there.
omg ugh no ugh Theseus no no no
That scene actually confused me a little, as to how much of an isolated incident it was. Theseus apparently has some very seriously issues with jealousy and posessiveness, and these aren't things that would normally just come up in a big incident, but would be recurring issues in the relationship. Also, the fact that her instinct was to shout back at him definitely made it feel like this was a recycled fight, that she wasn't surprised it was coming up for the first time, but angry that it was coming up again. Those are the cues that I got from the writing of that specific scene, though the next section makes it seem like (at least Ariadne thought) it was the start of those issues.
It really beaks my heart to see Ariadne go through this. She doesn't deserve it and she has enough to deal with already. But it also definitely hurts because of how good he is for her anxiety. I know how hard that is to find in another person, and the fact that she can have that kind of person but for it also to be so toxic is so awful. Made worse by the fact that I doubt at this point he is any good for her in that way any more, causing more problems than he solves, but she has that ideal of what he used to be for her that she holds onto.
I obviously should have payed more attention to the tags for this story. I wasn't prepared for it to get this dar =P Making it through anyway.
I'm a little surprised that was the end of the story with Theseus. It seems a little unlikely to me that he wouldn't try to come back at some point. Well, maybe he did, but that part isn't relevant to the sibling story we're telling here.
I thought it was really impressive how much you covered in this story, spanning many years and issues of Ariadne's life. It gave a really good picture of her and showed how important her brother was to her through all of those times. I thought you did a great job with this!
Thank you for stopping by and leaving a review. I'm so happy you decided to come here after reading Shine, it's such a great story, isn't it?
I'm so glad you liked the relationship between Ari and Zach. They both care deeply and try to look after each other and I'm glad you liked to see it in both directions. :)
Oh... yes, I can see what you mean... that part was definitely too rushed... I needed to include Ariadne's seventh year and how it impacted her anxiety, but I couldn't spend too much time on it... I guess it could've been written more clearly and smoothly... I guess breaking that section like you suggested might help... Maybe one day I'll edit? (No, I won't... but just in case I happened to, I'll treasure your suggestions ;) )
She did open the clinic! Way to go, Ari! :D
I didn't think about that... I actually imagined it to be a first episode... but your analysis makes perfect sense... maybe there had already been small occurrences but they never escalated that much before and Ariadne never gave it weight? Would that make more sense?
Yes, I know... poor Ariadne... I'm sorry this was so hard to read... *hug*
Yeah... I guess that was a bit rushed as well... I think he might've tried to come back, but I also think that Zacharias would've kept a strict eye on his sister and wouldn't have let Theseus near her again.
I'm so glad you "enjoyed" this story overall! Thank you so much again for stopping by, it was such a lovely surprise!
You are wonderful and so is this story. I love it. I know I've probably said this loads of times by now but I don't mind repeating myself because it's something worth repeating - You are super talented at writing and an amazing friend and I'm still so glad we did this collab last year, it was so fun working with you. Not to mention that Shine would never exist if not for you! Thank you for being amazing! ♥♥♥♥♥♥ And thanks for that lovely dedication! ♥
The rest of this review transfered from HPFF:
I've read that opening section like 6 times now and each time I'm still impressed by the writing style and how well you managed to convey Ariadne's state of mind and how the stress of the war is affecting her. Your descriptions are lovely and I really appreciated the maze theme as it links to the myth behind her name! :D
You also show Zacharias in such a sympathetic light and it's really neat to see him in that sense, from the point of view of someone who cares about him and appreciates him, rather than from Harry's POV as Harry didn't like him. It's funny, because he's just as annoying (like when he's teasing Ariadne about her future wedding), but seeing him from this point of view it's kind of endearing rather than obnoxious, so great job making me like a dislikeable character haha.
I also think you did a really good job showing the harsh reality of abusive relationships and how people end up staying in them and just how harmful they are - but how she doesn't notice as the abusive aspect creeps up on her gradually. I am so glad she got out of that one.
You also tied your story together really well with the themes of escape, and I know the choppiness of having multiple segments was something we were both working on a lot and so I just wanted to let you know that it came together cohesively and the theme is clear, with her trying to escape the relationship and the war but feeling powerless in regards to both things. It worked out really well!
This is an awesome story. It was so great working with you! :D I would probably still be in my writing slump and not have written anything for months if not for this collab :P Plus it was just really fun writing with you and exceeding all of our expectations! 10 points to Team Unreliability!
Thank you! So, so, so much!
You know that every everything you said about me I could've said about you multiplied by a thousand times, right?
Doing this collab with you is still one of my best fanfic experiences and I'm so proud of what we created together! I most definitely wouldn't have written this without you, so out of my comfort zone... I mean, no Marauders??? What's this craziness??? :P
Anyway, thank you for all your support and encouragement and for being the amazing friend you are!
Love and snowball hugs,