transferred from HPFF
I thought you deserved another review after waiting SO LONG, and besides I absolutely had to finish the story!
This is brilliant, of course.
God, the scene with Anne and Bellatrix. *SOBS*
The inclusion of Kreacher was nothing short of genius. I'm pretty sure that isn't canon, but it feels so canon I'm almost doubting myself on that. It certainly fits! Also, Kreacher's involvement explains how he knew to go there in the first place. And nice tie in with the Horcrux research in the last chapter!
Voldemort really is the lowest of the low to abuse a house elf that way. At least Reg wasn't so cruel and took the potion himself like a decent human person. In the end, he's quite a hero, isn't he? ♥
I really think Reguls is one o the most interestng characters on the series, and it's fascinating to consider what ultimately led him to do this. Of course your version of events is one of my most favorites. It's also one of the few I've seen that places Sirius on the periphery. I mean, coparatively speaking. If only Reg had seen the truth - or admitted it to himself - earlier on.
I have so many questions I'd love to ask you about this story - please please please: FIC NIGHT!
I'm sorry I don't have as much to say about this chapter (still no cc).
All in all, this story is just about perfect. You've got the narrative arc, the characters, good dialogue - *favorites*
I would really love to read a little something from Summer's pov, I'll have to scour your AP to see if you've got anything. (Or beg you to write it :P)
wonderful writing, Kristin dear!
THANK YOU, you are the sweetest! ♥
I hated writing that scene (with Anne and Bellatrix), but it had to be bad to spur Regulus to action and do such a dramatic thing as destroying Voldemort's Horcruxes even with the knowledge of what might happen to him. but yeah. :'( *hands tissue to Renee*
Kreacher's involvement at the cave is actually canon - a lot of this chapter was based on what Kreacher recounts of the event to Harry in DH (I think the chapter was called "Kreacher's Tale", or something similar) So I can't claim credit for including him. I'm glad you liked the way the scene played out though!
wow, you know, I'd never thought of submitting any of my stories to fic night before. But I looked, and they have to be under 5k, so this one's too long. It means a lot to me that you suggested that though, thank you! I'm really flattered that you thought it was good enough for that. If you have questions you can pile 'em up in my Q&A thread on the forums though, I'm always glad to answer questions.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. seriously. these reviews were so wonderful, and so are you. *hugs Renee forever*
Transferred from HPFF, with extra hugs
So, when I said I'd get to this in 24 hours, I actually met 240 hours. Forgot the 0. Sorry about that. *HIDES* Seriously, I'm *so sorry* this is extremely late, but I'm glad you requested!
You specifically asked about character. I think you've done a particularly good job showing the complexity of Reg's thought process about blood status and Voldemort and Summer. At the beginning he's clearly a pretty selfish guy, but also a guy with potential to show compassion. I loved that you pointed out both his moral dilemma and his conflict between Sirius and his parents.
This line is just PERFECTION:
--"Maybe you’re not always nice, but you’re good." -- LOVE ♥
I obviously don't know Summer quite as well, since she's an OC and not the POV character. I think she seems a little too perfect, almost, but since this is the first chapter I don't think there's cause to worry.
Oh my gosh, and the way you developed their relationship over time was just swoon worthy! It felt completely believable to me that he would gradually become attached to her sunny personality, whether he meant to or not. I am curious to learn more about her and what she sees in a (boy)friend like Reg. :)
If you revise, the thing I'd suggest looking at is point of view. Reg narrates this piece with a lot of distance. Even though I was interested in the story, I didn't feel like I was "inside" the story until I got to the sunset. I've tried to pinpoint why this is, and the only thing I can come up with is that starting with summary gives it a reflective feel, like Reg is looking back on something. When I started, I kept waiting for the moment when the reflection ended and the 'moment' began. I hope that makes some kind of sense. Basically, you might consider rearranging things a bit to start in a scene, if you want a more in-the-moment feel. However, if reflective is what you want then just ignore me :P
Summer seems totally sweet - definitely Power Puff worthy!! - and your cliff hanger ended was just BRUTAL (in the best way)! I don't have time to read a lot these days but this is most definitely on my list of things to continue with. Request any time - I love reading your work! ♥
lots of love!
RENEE ♥ ♥ Seriously you have nothing to apologize for! Thank you for reviewing!!
I'm glad you like the portrayal of Regulus so far and that you think his internal complexity is shown well. He is selfish, but also confused. Poor guy :( I think the conflict between himself, his parents, and Sirius, was probably one that weighed on him a lot - I always imagined Regulus and Sirius were close as kids, which would make things for Regulus pretty confusing after Sirius left. I love that you picked out that particular line about nice vs good, I like that line too :)
I always kind of wonder that about Summer too, because in this first chapter where Regulus kind of just sees her as faultless, it does make her seem a bit too perfect - but I'm glad that wasn't off-putting. I promise there is more to her, but yeah, it's a very biased lens we see her through in this chapter.
Thank you, it's great to hear that you liked the very gradual development of their friendship here :)
Ooh, and honestly I'm glad you mentioned that about him narrating with a lot of distance in the beginning. That's intentional - I don't know that I was aiming for reflective exactly, but definitely distance - the idea was that in the beginning he's still very afraid to be vulnerable, he's guarded, and as such his narration reflects that, and is mostly facts and lacks emotion. Sort of like he doesn't let you get into his head as much, if that makes sense? That of course changes later on as Reg changes - I'd be interested to know what you think of that development if you continue reading.
yeah, sorry about that cliff hanger :S Thank you so much for your review and all your kind words! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
LOOK AT HOW FAST I AM. I've been avoiding responsibility. Also, I feel like you will appreciate the fact that I am writing this review in the expanded review box. IT'S SO NICE.
This definitely hits ALL of my interests, so thank you for that! I've been very interested in Regulus lately, so I'm always pleased to read more about him.
I think you've done a really wonderful job of exploring his character here. I love the way he went from a neutral force to a Death Eater, without actually losing his underlying neutrality. I also really liked how he joined the Death Eaters because he was so caught up in everything and it made him feel powerful. It made him very real, and it really showed his age. He very much seems like a teenage kid caught up in stuff he didn't fully understand. When writing about characters like this, I feel like a lot of times writers forget that they're writing teenagers not fully grown adults. Reading an accurate description of a seventeen year old is so nice.
I loved Regulus's voice in this as well. You really showed his thought process, and I think you've painted his character very well. He seems a bit detached and unemotional, which is so fitting based on the fact that he repeatedly says he was taught to never show excess emotion. It's SUCH a good fit.
I think Summer is absolutely wonderful! I love her kindness and friendliness (WHAT A GOOD PUFF SHE IS), and I love that it doesn't make her weak. When Regulus calls her a Mudblood, she reacts appropriately, but doesn't hold it against him.That shows such a strength in character, and I really like seeing it portrayed as such. She's also pretty darn funny, which is always nice to read.
I think the pace was good, but the chapter did lag a bit in places. It's on the longer side and it covers quite a bit of time, so the laggy bits are going to be hard to avoid. It usually showed up when you were describing passages of time, which really is to be expected. It's telling rather than showing, and while it's definitely necessary here, it just isn't as interesting as the parts where there's action happening.
That said, the parts where there IS action happening are very interesting! I felt just as captivated by Summer as Regulus did and I was so anxious about his friends finding out. I'm so curious about what happened to Summer now and I'M SO CONCERNED FOR HER. So it definitely holds reader interest.
And as a side note, I really love the chapter titles. So clever. :)
transferred from hpff 6/17/17
Wow, that was really fast! And yay for the expanded review box! That totally changed my life omg.
Thank you - it's great to hear that about Regulus. This is exactly the idea I was trying to convey - he wasn't EVIL, but a confused teenager who was just caught up in things he wasn't ready for. And aah, that means SO MUCH to hear you say that he seemed real. That's what I try for, and basically the best thing to hear as a writer- thank you!
I'm thrilled to hear that about Regulus' voice as well, and that his detachment seems to fit with his upbringing. That's really wonderful to hear about Summer as well, I'm so glad you like her! Haha, she is SUCH a Hufflepuff :D I really like your analysis of her character too, that her ability to forgive makes her strong.
Yeah, the long time span was one of the things I'd been concerned about this chapter, and I definitely see that it has some sections of telling. I am glad to hear that you found it appropriate though- that the telling seemed okay here as it skips through time. The last two chapters are a much shorter time span so hopefully less telling - I'd be interested to know what you think if you read those. Regarding the action scenes though, I'm so glad you find those interesting and that the story holds your interest.
Aw, thanks about the chapter titles ;) This was a really wonderful review, thank you so much!!
Okay, I only reviewed the last chapter on HPFF and I probably should re-read this and leave proper reviews on all chapters, but I'm too lazy...
But before transferring this review I just wanted to tell you once again, thank you!
I know that you wrote this story as a way to reverse in your writing a bit of your grief, and you know that I can understand this very well and the reasons this story will always be so specially dear to my heart.
Please always remember that you are a wonderful person, a caring and generous friend and also an amazingly talented writer. Everyone who know you are lucky to have you in their lives, and I feel honoured and grateful of being one of them (even if only through the internet... but one day we'll meet in person, promise!)
The hugest snowball hug ever rolling your way!!!
***Transferred from HPFF***
This was so beautiful!
So sad, so moving, so sweet... I think I might cry...
I love Regulus, he's such a complex character with a such tragic background and you depicted him perfectly.
I loved the way Summer showed him a side of reality and of himself that he didn't know and that was so much more bright and genuine than what he was used to.
And then she died... When I read "I have cancer" I was like... No, this can't be true! I kind of hoped that she would get through, that maybe wizards knew some cure more effective, but of course that wasn't the case...
And the last chapter... Simply heartbreaking!
Having Regulus be the impotent spectator of Anne's murder... And then the cave... I really can't express in words all the emotions that your story brought to me...
Marvellous story! You are such a woderful writer!
Chiara! Thank you so much! I really appreciate what you said. I am so grateful to have you as a friend too! (internet friends totally count. But yes... one day!) *So many hugs*
Aw! Thank you so much! This was such a wonderful review and it means a lot to me that you were touched by the story.
I'm really glad you liked the way I portrayed Regulus. Based on what we know of canon I just never felt like he was as into the Death Eaters as Sirius implied; I felt he was more ambivalent about it all, and I'm glad you liked that as well as the way he changed with the influence of Summer.
Thank you for mentioning that the story brought up a lot of emotions - even if you couldn't express it in words, it still means so much to me that my writing really resonated with you - that's an incredible compliment. Thanks so much for reading, and for your amazing review!
We know I missed you, but did you miss me?! :D
(Did you know a flock of crows is called a murder?)
*takes deep breath*
*sobs* NO I'M NOT I CHANGED MY MIND!
Wah it's so sad that she's the one that finally got Regulus to change and then...and then... :(
If I didn't know how Regulus' story actually ends, I'd be worried he would be pushed back into Death Eater ways. But of course he's changed too much for that.
NO NO NO NO WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HER PARENTS?! Omg I can't believe you would do that to me! (And, er, Summer's parents)
But yes for Regulus summoning the rest of his strength! He's such a great character. I'm half in my seat cheering for him and his determination!
I have goosebumps Kristin. LOOK GOOSEBUMPS! I love how Summer was in his thoughts at the end, how he drew his courage and strength from her. It was perfect ♥
Kristin, you broke my heart, but I enjoyed every word. Thank you leading me to this story, it's amazing in every single way. Incredible job ♥ ♥ ♥
So basically one crow would be attempted murder.
Did you know that a group of ravens is called an unkindness, or (alternatively) a conspiracy? WHO COMES UP WITH THESE TERMS
I know :'( I'm sorry, I did feel bad about that. And about every other character, because the only main character who lives is Kreacher...
yeah, Regulus has changed so much by this point. He's on his own as much as he was at the beginning, but is no longer the same person.
As for Summer's parents, it had to be something huge to push Regulus over the edge. Summer's death kind of broke him, but it didn't motivate him to do anything (also probably because her death had nothing to do with Death Eaters). But then two totally innocent people who'd lost everything and had been nothing but nice to Reg, that was too much, especially the manner in which they died.
wow thanks! I'm flattered that the writing was that powerful enough to give you goosebumps! And I'm so glad you liked the ending. I'm particularly proud of the end and I really like when people like it :D Thank you SO much for your kind comments *hugs*
Thank you so much for your review(s)! You are the best! ♥ ♥ ♥
Did you know the longest recorded flight of a chicken was 13 seconds? How educational is this review?!
I was actually thinking about this story all night, I'm so excited to be back!
Wait. No I'm not.
SUMMER NO! No no no no.
Regulus and Summer are just so different, I love love LOVE it! Their contrast is amazing (and Summer's Christmas sounds like mine lololol)
It might be a tiny detail, but let me just say how much I adore Regulus magic-ing flowers behind his back ♥
Ha ha "teacups into toads", that's what Lily did over her break isn't it? :D
I love how much you've made Regulus a stranger in a strange land. For once he's the outcast, and it's refreshing to read him trying to adjust to a world completely different to his own and find it's not so bad after all. Of course Summer's parents are so lovely and I love how Anne begins to mother Reg!
And we're starting to see a change in him now. I'm scared for him (er, even though I know how his story turns out. Actually that makes me more scared) but how awful he's feeling surrounded by wizards who hate Muggles :(
OMG THAT LAST LINE! Kirstin no :( I'm almost afraid to read the next chapter. Almost.
Once again your writing is impeccable. Regulus' thoughts and feelings just leap off the page. I'm enjoying this story very much, even if you're going to break my heart.
HI BIANCA WELCOME BACK!!! ♥
That's a long flight for a chicken!
Did you know that sloths move so slowly that their fur cultivates algae and even moths? The associated moth is called the sloth moth :P
I'm glad you like the contrast between Summer and Reg in terms of personality and background - they're basically in different worlds. Haha, Summer's typical Christmas sounds way more fun than Reg's :P
haha, you know I never really thought a whole lot about how adorable that visual is until you mentioned it!
Was it? I can't remember. There must have been a teacups-into-toads unit in Transfiguration :P
yeah, Regulus really starts to grow up in this chapter and learns what it is to /be/ a good friend rather than to just have a good friend. And it makes him step pretty far outside his comfort zone, only to find that Muggles aren't that different - it must be pretty weird for him realizing that all he's been brought up with is wrong. Poor thing he's so confused and lost :( Aw, I'm really glad you liked the bit about Reg becoming close with Summer's parents. Now he's moved from hanging out with Mudbloods to corresponding with Muggles, and he's comfortable with it! he's growing up!
though as you said, yeah, it makes him even less comfortable with his role in the Death Eaters. Can't have it both ways...
Thank you so much, it's really lovely to hear that you like the writing and can connect with Regulus' feelings here. As for the rest. Yeah. Uh... sorry in advance :(
Thanks for your review! ♥ ♥ ♥
HELLO MY WONDERFUL DARLING WHO I LOVE EVER SO MUCH. I'm just transferring reviews over from HPFF :)
HI HI KRISTIN ♥
(Did you know August has the highest percentage of births?)
Poor Regulus torn between his parents and Sirius :( I never thought of him being worried about disappointing his brother, but after reading this, I like to think it.
OMG is this a Slytherin/Hufflepuff relationship story? ARE YOU FATHER CHRISTMAS?!
♥ Feel that Hufflepuff sunshine ♥
Oh the Astronomy Tower at sunset... You really are Father Christmas! I love how she probably knows what Regulus is like and what he thinks of her, but she doesn't care, just treats him like another human being, and I hope he learns to do the same ♥
Oh Merlin how I love Sirius puns... Like siriusly...
Okay, Bianca. Stahp.
Ooh I really like this line: Maybe you're not always nice, but you're good, because there really is a difference, and I think it sums up Regulus and maybe even some other Slytherins perfectly.
Kristen, where have you been hiding this story?! I am absolutely in love. I'm not sure what you edited, since I didn't read it before, but I adore everything about this, I think it's amazing so far. Regulus is just perfect: a pureblood of high class upbringing, follower and supporter of the Dark Lord, but his true (good) self is just beneath the surface, and it only takes the right person to bring it out completely. Summer is wonderfully intriguing, she's obviously the most amazing person, but there's clearly something she's hiding and I can't wait to find out what it is! I'll be back for the other two chapters this weekend!
Amazing work, Kristin. But of course, it's you!
HI AND THANK YOU FOR TRANSFERRING REVIEWS YOU ARE LOVELY ♥
yesaRegulusstoryI'mexcitedthatyou'reexcited (it is really hard to not type spaces, they just happen instinctively)
I didn't know that, actually - I thought it was September. I feel so much smarter now! Animal eye facts round 2: Did you know that the eyes of a giant squid are about the size of dinner plates?
you know, I'd never given a whole lot of thought to Regulus' character before I wrote this, but when I sat down to write it, the image of this really confused, indecisive teenager came to mind and that's how I've seen him ever since. I have always loved the idea that he and Sirius were close when they were little, and I don't think Regulus would have given up on him that easily. Similarly to how I think Sirius still really cared about Regulus even when he pretended not to. The fact that Sirius never knew of Regulus' sacrifice and the fact that they never reconciled just breaks my heart. :( but that's a sob story for another day. :P
Oh no my secret identity has been revealed! But actually, no. It's about a relationship, but not a Relationship if that makes sense. :P there aren't enough friendship stories on the archives!
yeah, Summer is definitely aware that there are a lot of differences between herself and Regulus, at least outwardly, but she is unfailingly nice - yeah, Reg could definitely learn a lot from her, haha.
I siriusly love bad puns. :D
Ooh, I'm glad you pointed out that line, I was particularly happy with that one :D You're right, I think that could apply to a lot of people, and nice and good really are two separate things.
Aaah, thank you! I'm so, so glad that you like this so far, that means a lot to me. ♥ Thanks so much for reading! This was such an amazing review and I want to give you the hugest hug! *hugs Bianca*
Thank youuu ♥ ♥ ♥