Hi Jill! I'm here for round 2 of the review exchange in the CR!
Oh man, so many things that are gonna mess up James and Hannah's ill-thought-out plans hahaha. Like, I'm not sure how Hannah ever thought Nat would date James after he dated her... you don't just break the girl code! I'm glad she's finally considered it (even if she's not come to any conclusions about what to do).
And then there's this: how was telling her about it being fake going to convince her that James was capable of a real relationship? -- Also a solid point. Bahaha this fake relationship truly was horrible planning XD I wonder if she is going to tell Nat the truth though? Because if she lies/omits the truth, you have the girl code, but if she tells Nat that the relationship is fake, I mean, it'd just be weird if Nat dated James afterward, knowing all this weird history. I'm truly enjoying how little they thought this out. XD
As if that wasn't enough, then there's the fact that Nat doesn't even really seem to be into James anyway. She essentially called him unappealing. Sorry James...
James is on the same Quidditch team as Ben?! Oh this is interesting... at least it seems it's okay for now because no one got hurt. Haha I love how Ben only appears in the story for Hannah to rub her new "relationship" in his face. Like he literally only exists to be reminded that he's a useless slimeball. XD
But I think it's true that sometimes it takes other people to see what's going on in your own life, and Nat sees through all the false things and the cover ups and has picked up on some things that aren't visible to Hannah. James is, possibly, in love with Hannah. Even though he himself probably doesnt know it yet.And all along there are hints that Hannah cares about James a lot more than she claims to, as well. Sure, they're very close friends and they cuddle on park benches like friends do, but you don't usually get butterflies in your stomach about close friends. I think Nat being in town is going to bring a lot of things into the open.
Another great chapter! I'm really enjoying this story ♥
Aw, yeah, James and Hannah really didn't think this one out; though I guess that means that I didn't either, to an extent, because as I write Hannah, I get these small revelations on HOW IS THIS EVEN GOING TO WORK XD I am so glad you're enjoying how thoughtless they are, though :P
Sorry not sorry, James? XD
Yesss, they're actually on the same Quidditch team at school, too. Bahahaha yeah, although Ben's existence will be much more significant in a few chapters.
Natalie is definitely observant; she's been friends with them from first year and has kind of been almost on the sidelines, and as an outsider, she picks up on things that Hannah might not have noticed right away. Natalie being in town is definitely going to make things interesting!
Thank you so much for the lovely review, your reviews always make me feel warm and often leave me thinking about how the story is being perceived rather than just writing it, which I greatly appreciate!
Review swap! Ofc I'm back for the fake dating. #guiltypleasuretrope
I’m far more interesting than my siblings -- LOL James is the definition of humble
Lily is probably going to be with one of the Scamander twins -- what, like they're interchangeable?! Hahaha, James really does say some (unintentionally) hilarious things and it's cracking me up.
We were two different people. -- YES. I think Hannah has put her finger on exactly what weirds me out about couple names. They are both individuals that can stand on their own.
I just wanted to be someone’s first choice. Not their regret or their consolation prize or their fake bloody girlfriend. -- CAN I HUG HER PLEASE? Omg, she is SO relatable here and I just want to give her a hug and tell her it'll all be okay. But seriously Hannah is just so real to me in how she is able to hide her insecurities all right but underneath it all she's sure she will never be loved because she feels she's not good enough. This is so real.
James may be an arrogant goofball who can't even tell the difference between twins, but at least he is really generous to the busking musicians! He probably gave them like 3/4 of everything they earned the whole time they were out there. :P
I adore the image of James and Hannah dancing under the stars like that though, even if neither of them actually thinks of it in a romantic way yet (at least not consciously... it didn't escape my notice that Hannah was dwelling on it for A WEEK.)
I'm hoping the arrival of Natalie helps Hannah with her insecurities somewhat, because best friends are good at that. And best friends who you don't have any simmering romantic tension with are probably better to talk to than ones you're pretending to date. I mean, I assume. :P but yeah we need some girl time, I'm looking forward to it!
Loved this chapter! Thanks for the swap!
Kristin, I'm finally here to answer this amazing review! :D
Hahaha, I'm so glad James cracks you up! I have to admit I get a good chuckle out of writing him, which is a nice change.
Of COURSE you can hug her! Honestly, this scene was hard for me to write becaus I relate so much to her here. I'm so so happy this came across as real as it did because there are definitely a lot of pieces of me in Hannah, and this is one of them.
He probably did! James loves the arts! ;)
Shhh no she wasn't dwelling on it for a week. (Yes she was. I'm trying to deter you, is it working?)
Aww yeah, I'm mostly pumped for Natalie to come down as well, she'll be a good escape for Hannah when she needs to hide from James.
Thanks for the awesome review! <3
Hey, Jill, love! I'm here for our review swap! :D
It was about time that I came back here, it's been too long (I can tell because when Seamus appeared I was like 'who is Athair'?)
Oh, I so loved this chapter! James and Hannah are so cute (even if she would probably disagree...) Also, her fathers' reactions were so believable and so well done.
Speaking of her fathers' reactions... poor James, I felt so bad for him when he realized how much Seamus hates him... And I'm still wondering why, by the way... I feel like it has something to do with his relationship with Ginny (?) but maybe there's more to it. And you said you would elaborate on it later, so I'll just try not to forget to keep reading... *hides*
I might have got a bit too excited that they had their first date in an Italian restaurant... I just enjoy references to my country... silly, but I just like it! :P
Poor Hannah, though. It must have been so awkward... I loved how protective James was when the reporter arrived. He is such a sweetheart... when will they stop pretending and start dating for real? They are so adorable...
Okay, I have to go. (I should be working, teoretically...) Sorry if this review is a bit messy, btw. But know that I really loved this! :)
Thank you for the swap!
Hello, Chiara! I really wasn't sure what you would pick for the swap, so I'm glad it was this :D
Aww yeah, considering how close James and Hannah are, there's still some bad blood between Seamus and Harry and James. I need to figure out a time to actually put that in the story :P
Aw, I'm glad you enjoyed that! :) As for when they will stop pretending.... well, I'm not going to answer that because #spoilers.
Thanks for the lovely review! <3
Aw Seamus, he seem so sad that Hannah doesn't tell him things! I love that we're seeing various sides to him and Dean, and even though we don't see a lot of them - what we do see is really interesting! I think it's so funny that he 'doesn't care who his father is' considering they went to school together! I love that Seamus is so down to earth, and a loving father.
I think the date was really funny as well, and I like that Hannah's finally taking steps to make 'Jannah' look more legit as a couple. I loved the reporter bit too! The only thing I would say, is I don't think the reporter would ask them if they have a couple/ship name. No one asked Brangelina or Kimye if they had a name, they usually ask people what they think of the name once people take to it. So like, maybe Hannah could see it in a newspaper article or hear it over the radio and be shocked by it. But it's just a small thing.
Loved this chapter, and I love that so much is happening!! I can't wait to read more,
I love your love for Dean and Seamus! I'm trying to show them a little bit, because I think they'd be around when they're not working. <3
That's a very good point about the shipname! Tbh, I hadn't really thought about it like that but it makes so much sense. Yeah, Hannah's definitely starting to warm up to the idea of dating James, so I'm glad it's showing in this chapter - not just the growth of their fake relationship, but of Hannah taking charge too.
Thanks so much for your reviews and your honest feedback- much appreciated! <3
Okay so I love this chapter a lot more, it seems like this story has gotten into the swing of things now! So first off, Seamus is so in character I love it - like I can picture him getting so mad at the idea of his daughter being cheated on. I think the 'Athair' thing is a really cute touch, like it's personal to that family. Just something small like that gives away so much and tells you a lot about them without really saying anything.
Now onto James. I think what's so great about him is that he's more than just Harry. There's little personality traits like his loyalty and willingness to do anything for his friends. But then what's different is that flirty behaviour and confidence in himself that I don't think Harry had as much, not socially anyway.
I'm also starting to warm to Hannah a lot more, I think she's really so sweet and naive, like when she wanted James to put a shirt on, and was very hesitant about kissing him, even if it didn't mean anything. We also got to know more about their friendship origins, and a little snippet of Hogwarts years!
Very excited to read the next chapter!
Aww, I'm glad you love Seamus! He's one of my favorite characters, so I have a lot of fun writing him! I wasn't sure about Athair at first, but most people seem to be on board with it and it's definitely a personal touch; something to distinguish him and Dean, as well as pay tribute to his heritage.
Aw yeah, that's exactly how I wanted James to come across. He's like his parents, but he's not - and that's one of his biggest pet peeves is when people just assume he's "just like his dad" or whatever, so I'm glad that comes aross!
I would definitely describe Hannah as sweet and naive. I was kind of tired of those fake dating fics where everyone was so willing to kiss the person they're fake dating - sort of like, "I don't think it happens like that all the time..."
Thanks for the review! I really appreciate your feedback <3
Hey Jill! So I've reviewed this chapter before on HPFF with the review tag, but I'm yet to use my HPFT account to review anything - so you're my first! This is the first of three reviews you get for winning the challenge!
I really love the premise of this, the idea is one of my favourites - and I am in love with James! He's so fiercely loyal about Hannah as his best friend, and I love that he'd do anything to help her. I do feel like the friendship and backstory could've been developed a little bit more, while I love that you haven't spent too much time on the before, we're very much thrown into the deep end with this fic. I personally would like to know a little more about Hannah, get a hint of her personality, or how and why James became so close...or why Ben's cheating. It's good in that you've made me want to read the next chapter so that I'll find out why, but I think you could've revealed just a little bit more information in this chapter.
Otherwise, I'm very excited to read more!
Hey, Bex! Happy to be the first :)
I totally see where you're coming from with the backstory. I've actually considered re-writing the first two chapters for that purpose; a few people have commented on that before, and I wrote it over a year ago so my writing has (hopefully) improved. But I'm glad that you're in love with James already! My style has always sort of been "reveal very little and make them ask questions" but you have a very strong point.
Thank you for the review! <3
ARGH JILL! I had no idea this was up and I'm so sorry!
Oookay, lets see what trouble these babies get into this time.
I think one of the most appealing things about this story (to me, anyway) is that James is so far from perfect. Like, not even for his character, just in general. He doesn't really understand when he does things wrong, and doesn't see the weight of his actions. It makes me empathise with Hannah more, but sometimes I just really want to shake James haha. He's a really well thought out character who has a lot of growth to do, and I think you've written him perfectly, because I feel something when I read him.
Oooh the tension. They're so close, so adding the romance (no matter how fake it may be) really builds that tension. You two are on thin ice, and I can't wait to see how it plays out in the end!
Ben is so naughty.
EEP! And that last line! I'm so excited for more on Natalie, that short meeting was not enough for me! :D <3
Hello, no worries, my dear!
Haha, I'm all about shaking James. I mean, you're probably going to want to do it a lot so I won't stop you there. I'm glad that you still feel something for him, though, because that's important. He's a good guy and he means well, but sometimes his methods are a little... off-putting.
Thin ice is the perfect way to describe them :P
There will be plenty of Natalie to come, don't you worry!
Thanks for your review and all of your support. <3
Transferred from HPFF
12th April 2017:
Hi, Jill. Attack Review at CTF on the forums No.3 from me! I enjoy reading yours and leaving reviews ‘coz you were so kind to me at NaNo last year. Thank you so much at that time!
When Abbie chose this Next genre, I didn’t have confidence to write a review, Next Genre is not my field which I’m good at, but I noticed I didn’t need to worry once I started reading. First, I was completely impressed by your descriptions about Leaky Cauldron and the pub owner, Tom. I could feel how fish and chips tasted for James and Han even I could smell of them and hear the noise around James and Han including the other people’s chat.
The second, your characterization of James Potter. From your marvelous description, I could visualize how James looked like, maybe he looked after his mother mostly in appearance and the heart inside must be very much like Harry (I sensed that he got furious for Han about Wood), perhaps the grin is like his father, which must have attracted girls. I could learn a lot from your work on the characters.
Naturally I was engaged in your romance, (though romance is another field I’m not good at) I really enjoyed their conversation about the plot to trap Wood. It’s fun to imagine the outcome of their plan. Maybe they will be able to achieve each purpose, or after the events coming next, they may fall in love each other against their first attempt. Am I wrong? Which way the story goes, it must be interesting!
Two Birds, One Stone, A good title for this story!
Hey Kenny! It is in a Hufflepuff's nature to be kind ;) But seriously it was my pleasure.
Thanks! Description was something I really worked on in this chapter, so it means a lot that you were able to see everything and feel the fish and chips.
I'm glad that even though romance/Next Gen isn't really your forte, you were able to be engaged throughout the story - that's actually really cool.
And well, about the outcome of their plan... guess you'll just have to read on to find out! ;)
I'm still trying to work out if James actually likes Natalie, or if he thinks he likes Natalie but actually likes Hannah, or if he's just saying he likes Natalie to get Hannah to fake date him so that he can have a chance with her. It's very confusing but I kind of want it to be one of the last two because they are so cute together and it would be wonderful for Hannah to have someone who treats her properly and really likes her - and makes it clear that he likes her and she's his first choice. Especially since the end of this chapter has made me suspect that she's starting to fall for him a little bit?
The date at the Leaky Cauldron seemed much more like them - more relaxed and they were able to be themselves with each other, which did mean talking about some things they haven't talked about and which aren't the easiest. Also, I love that Tom was telling them it was about time they got together and being protective of Hannah. It gives us a really good indication of the people around them, too.
I wanted to give Hannah a hug in this chapter! She's hurting so much from what Ben did to her, and I completely understand that feeling she has of not being anyone's first choice, of always being second best - and while I'm sure James doesn't want her to feel that way, and probably doesn't realise how he's making her feel, talking about Natalie won't help. He is super sweet and lovely to her though, and I honestly think he likes her a lot more than he lets on.
The scene when they were dancing under the stars to the violin music was so cute! It made me grin like a mad woman. If James doesn't like her then he's scarily good at fake dating, and I definitely think Hannah do starting to feel something for him, even if she doesn't realise it yet and maybe won't admit it to herself immediately. It'll be interesting to see how Natalie arrives and how on earth James thinks Hannah is going to persuade her that he's boyfriend material when he's fake dating someone else...
Looking forward to the next chapter, and I'm really enjoying this story so far!
Um... I'm just going to keep quiet about you working out this whole Natalie/James/Hannah triangle, Sian. I really don't want to spoil it for you, haha. Hannah definitely deserves someone who would treat her the way James does, though.
Tom is such a wonderful addition to this story! I sort of figure he's like (another) father to Hannah since they've been regulars at the pub, so he's watched them grow up, you know? And it was definitely much more their speed.
UGH, I CAN'T RESPOND BECAUSE OF SPOILERS.
I loved that scene too! And I'm so excited for Natalie to come.
Thanks for the lovely reviews. I'm so glad you're enjoying it! <3
Hi Jill! I told you I couldn't resist coming back soon for more of the story!
I really liked the opening of this chapter, the way that you moved so seamlessly from the end of the last chapter when the paparazzi found them, without having to go into all the little details about what happened in this moment. It's kind of weird to imagine a teenage couple being used to the idea that they'll end up in magazines and papers just because they're dating, but I guess at least it worked for their plan!
I kind of felt sorry for Hannah when she was having to lie to Seamus and tell him that her and James were dating and in love, and that's why she and Ben broke up. It's a big lie to have to tell your parents and Seamus is obviously really disappointed she couldn't come to him about it first (he's so sweet!). I'm still curious about why he doesn't like James, though, and the problem he seems to have with Harry as well as Ginny. I don't think I've actually seen a story where they don't get on before, so it's going to be interesting to find out!
I really like the fact that Hannah hasn't just forgotten about Ben and how hurt she is. I feel like that happens so often in stories like this one, but it makes a lot more sense that she'd be hurt still and fake dating her best friend isn't just going to stop that.
Of course, they can't be fake dating if they don't go on a fake date, can they? The scene with Hannah's dad's when they gave her all the new rules made me laugh - it kind of seems like they're fumbling round in the dark a bit because they're still surprised it's James, but it was very cute. And Hannah and James secretly a little bit amazed at the other's appearance - it was written quite subtly and felt understated compared to a lot of stories I read, which I really liked.
And a reporter gets into the restaurant and they get a couple name! Well, the media certainly love them - and I don't suppose Ben will be too happy with Hannah's response that she was only dating him because she was waiting for James, which probably serves him right. I hope the fake dating doesn't becoming too much pressure with all this media attention, though!
Thanks! I couldn't really figure out a way to gloss over the moment, but I'm glad this seemed to work for you. Yeah, I hear you - though I figure mostly because they're both Potter blood- father already famous for saving the world or whatever. People love to read about this kind of stuff, I guess. :P
Aww, I know. Hannah is a really horrible liar. I love Seamus as a father. <3 I keep forgetting that you haven't read some of my other stories (I don't think) but there are issues that come up with Harry and Ginny and Seamus that have started since just at the end of Hogwarts.
Exactly! Aww thank you. I wanted to have that cliche moment but I'm glad it was so subtle.
Thank you<3 <3
Jill! You mentioned the other day that you'd updated this story and I enjoyed the first chapter so much that I couldn't not come back to it. You have such a lovely writing style - it flows so well and it's so easy to read - and I have to admit that I love a fake dating story. Even more so when it's well-written, which there is no danger of this story not being.
I love the fact that Hannah uses the Irish word for father for Seamus! Mostly because I just love languages but it's also a really clever way to differentiate between her two dads, and a nod to Seamus's ancestry. Also, can we just talk for a second about how adorable Dean and Seamus are together for a second? I love the way they're so concerned about Hannah and want to know that she's going to be okay and whether they need to hurt anyone for her. I can understand that she doesn't want to talk to her fathers about guy problems, either - I don't talk to my parents about that sort of thing full stop, so it makes sense that she would rather talk to Ginny instead.
Is Seamus a bit annoyed about Ginny because she and Dean dated at one point?
I'm warming to James more and more each time he appears in this story. Something tells me that he doesn't just want to kiss Hannah for "practice" and to make her comfortable with the fake dating - he seemed to enjoy it a little more than you might expect, since he apparently likes her friend. Hmm. Must read on to make my mind up here.
Hannah is so adorable, though! I love how awkward and uncomfortable she is with the whole situation, and that she's willing to try but she does worry that it might ruin their friendship, which she doesn't want to do. It's so believable and she's such a likeable character to read.
Ben is a *insert choice word*. I mean, honestly, what sort of heartless person cheats on someone and then deliberately saunters into their workplace with the second person to show them off? It's just so awful and unnecessary and I hate him. More than a little bit. I'm so glad Hannah was awesome and snarky and stood up for herself, though - it's not easy to do in a situation like that when she's feeling hurt and embarrassed because of what Ben did to her, but she handled it so well, and it maybe helped in a way that James arrived towards the end, even if Ben didn't have very nice things to say about either of them.
And uh-oh! The cameras flashing at the end mean their "relationship" is going to go public sooner than maybe even they expected... I'm hoping that it goes alright and I'm looking forward to seeing them handle it!
Hey, Sian! I'm so happy to see you've picked up this story :D
I feel like fake-dating is kind of everyone's secret trope, and it's so funny to see people admit it when they come to read this story. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
DEAN AND SEAMUS ARE SO ADORABLE AS DADS, SO YES WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT! I love writing them so much! And I'm so thrilled that Athair is going over so well; I really wasn't sure if people would like it or not, but I figured it would be easier than saying something like, "dad/daddy", and neither Dean nor Seamus strike me as a dad/daddy. :P
Um... I'm going to keep quiet about Seamus and Ginny.
I'm so glad people aren't too sure what to make of James. That's exactly how you're supposed to feel about him, TBH.
YAY! I love writing Hannah, too - she's so much fun and a little more relatable to me, as oppposed to some of my other characters who are the opposite of me.
Ben is a jerk. I really don't have anything else to say. I mean, I do have a headcanon for his family + his relationship with his sister, but I'm not sure if that will come into play in this particular story.
Thanks for the lovely surprise review!
Okay now I'm up to date.
So you hear me say it all the time, but I'm making it official via review: James and Hannah's dialogue is so natural and I'm still in awe of it everytime I read it. I totally believe they've been friends for a very long time, although I do like the mentions every now and then that sometimes James is hard for Hannah to read.
James is hilarious and sassy and everything I expect and want him to be. *glares at Jill* If you break is heart I'm going to kill you.
Look how protective he is of Hannah and how angry he is at Wood for hurting her *heart eyes*
Hahaha Tom is just not subtle at all. I love it.
Oookay, how beautiful is Diagon Alley's nightlife?! I need more of this in mylife. Seriously. And more dancing. More Jannah. More music and stars and dancing. I want it all, it's amazing <3
Aw, thank you! Sometimes it's a bit of a struggle for me to get into their flow of conversation, but once I do, they write themselves and TAKE OVER THE CHAPTER, UGH. I'm super happy it's beliavable that they've been friends a long time, though!
Um, it's not James' heart you should worry about. That is all.
He is super protective and territorial of Hannah.
I love Tom! I figured someone had to be excited for them.
Thank you thank you for the reviews and the help with this chapter! ♥
Hello, my name is Bianca and I am a horrible person because I have not reviewed this chapter??? What the heck???
The chapter title is hilarious though, I just gotta say.
Those reports on James' girlfriends in the magazines have got the be the quickest way to kill self-confidence. "Is she worthy"... I mean, please.
Okay so I know why Seamus doesn't like James but I don't think it's been said in the story yet? If not, you do a lovely job of making it run smoothly and keep curiousity heightened. Eek! So tense how James backchats Seamus. He does not approve of this "relationship" at all.
Ugh, those reporters! It's even getting under my skin! I mean, I know it's what James and Hannah want, but come on. Boundaries. Asking about their couple name is hilarious. I was about to say that that's such a Jill thing, but then I remembered that couple names are literally a thing in magazines. Brangelina, anyone?
You're not a terrible person, don't even! <3
I know, but you know real gossip columns are like that, totally degrading. Poor Hannah.
It hasn't been revealed in the story, but it will be eventually. Yep; it's definitely a personality clash when it comes to James & Seamus.
Hahahaha, Brangelina. Yep <3
Thanks for the review!
I love how Hannah has the two different names for her dads - for the distinction, of course, but I also love how you've got Seamus' heritage in there too.
Hmm... Why are the tension when talking about Ginny? ;)
You've done a really good job of introducing everybody and dropping in little bits of backstory for us to get to know them, like Hannah always trying to eavesdrop, and the furniture at Potters' house. Characters weren't born yesterday!
Omg James in a towel *fans self*
NO. MERLIN DO NOT BLESS THAT TOWEL.
Phwar, who knew riding a broomstick could give you abs.
Bahahaha he is SO cocky! Definitely takes after his namesake!
Omg this is hilarious: "If you're kissing a frog, I'm kissing a Quidditch pole."
I smirked at him. "Haven't you done that?"
"Only once! And it was a dare!"
SQUEE! EVERYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER IS SQUEE!
Hm, may need to cut the squeeing. Ben's come into the shop with that girl! (We hate that girl) That's just low. He's totally just there to rub it in Hannah's face.
Ahhh, cliffhanger! You can't just leave it there! What happens next?!
Amazing nice long chapter, J. Awesome work!
♥ ♥ ♥
I'm so glad you like the Athair thing. I wasn't sure if it would be confusing or not, so that's why I figured I would put it right in an author's note.
Hmm, that's an excellent question! I have no idea. ;)
Thank you! XD I'm still trying to create these people as I go, but I'm glad it seemes to be working out well so far.
MERLIN BLESS THAT TOWEL WHEN IT'S YOUR BEST FRIEND SINCE BEFORE YOU COULD WALK! XD
I'm so glad you love that, that was actually a last minute edit, haha!!
I actually LOLed at the cutting back on the squeeing.
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it!
Okay before I review the new chapter I better transfer the old ones over!
Hey Jillywilly ♥
Another WIP, hooray! Another story for me to annoy you about updating! ;)
Omg I am so in love with James. I can't even. I actually don't read many next-gens with him as the main character (normally is Albus or Scorpius) but even from the few I have read, I can already tell you this is my favourite portrayal so far. He just seems so energetic and loyal, not to mention cheeky and popular (James Potter the First, anyone?), and I love how you described him listening to Hannah with his chips as if he were at the theatre. The image made me laugh.
"He said he was surprised I wasn't expecting something like this. That people like him don't stay tied down for long." Ooh Ben's a nasty one, isn't he? If there's a showdown between him and James, I can't wait to see it!
I love the dialogue between Hannah and James. I can't remember if it was you who prided themselves on their dialogue or struggled with it, but either way, it's amazing and you do an excellent job. It's so natural between them.
Oh God, how can that idea possibly end well?
Awesome start to what is sure to be an awesome fic, and good luck in the challenge!
BRB, going to get some chips.
Please keep annoying me about my stories, I'm PRETTY SURE that's one of the reasons I haven't given up on any of them yet ;)
I'm so so glad you like James. You know I'm super excited about his character/where I draw his inspiration from, and I definitely think he takes after his namesake.
Yeah, despite his house, Ben's not really that great of a guy. We'll have to see what happens there!
Dialogue is one of the few things I pride myself with in my writing, but I'm glad you think it's so natural with them because I actually have to agree, haha. The scene was pretty easy to write once I got into the flow of things, it's just a slightly different genre than what I normally write. Like, it's happy. Ish.
There are so many ways for that idea to end ;)
Thank you my dear! Glad you enjoyed!!
(I'm lazy and that's how I'm going to sign my reviews from now on. Ok? Ok.)
Jill! Here for our review swap - I'm so glad that I'm getting a chance to read some of your writing because I've heard so many great things (Bianca should be given all the hugs for being an awesome supporter of yours, but you probably already know that) and I only got to read a handful during CTF.
I loved this! I (not-so) secretly love next-generation romances, but it's so hard to find ones that are well-written; this one is already screaming at me that I need to read on and I'm so excited about it! There are so many things that already stood out in this chapter that I really loved and I'm going to try and say them vaguely coherently ;P
Hannah is such an awesome character already! I really like her and her narration - it's really engaging, and you did a wonderful job of introducing her character and easing the reader into the story. Well, I say easing, but there was so much intrigue from the start of this chapter - I had so many questions about what had happened to Hannah before she arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and I loved the way that you teased the details out through her conversation with James.
And Hannah is Seamus and Dean's daughter? More reasons to love this story! <3
Anyway, so yes. Characterisation is awesome - I already love Hannah and I loved the way you introduced James as her best friend, too, and the way that he managed to find out what had happened without too much difficulty. It says a lot about their friendship and how much she trusts him without just telling us about it, you know?
I can safely say that my sentiments are nowhere near as charitable towards Benjamin Wood. Ugh.
And a Hufflepuff protagonist! Ah yay, this is so fun and there's so much in this that I want to read on about.
Fake-dating? Is now a good time to admit that I kind of love this trope a little bit? At least when it's done well? And I'm so excited about this one, because James seems to have his own motives for helping Hannah out (besides being her best friend and wanting to help her get revenge on Wood) and he does seem to be genuine about Natalie, but I'm already kind of shipping these two? Oops?
(Please let these two get together at some point, I really want them to be a couple already haha. Except I also don't yet because I want to enjoy this and read whatever you've got planned for us <3)
Thank you for the swap, I really enjoyed this!
It makes me super happy that you're so excited about it! I hope it won't end up being a disappointment :P (Also, Bianca is absolutely the best!)
Hannah is so much fun to write, I'm glad that she's relatable. She's a bit different than the characters I normally write (who typically deal with dark, tragic pasts) so it's nice to hear that the experiment is going well so far. As for the conversation, it just made sense to me to tease out the details rather than have the reader find out twice, y'know? Glad it worked!
Yesss, Deamus' daughter. I love them!
Agreed wholeheartedly about James and Hannah and the trust she has for him. :P
I LOVE THIS TROPE TOO! I'm so pleased this has gotten such a positive response because I was worried it would come across as cliche. Don't apologize for shipping James and Hannah. They're pretty great together ;)
Thanks for the awesome review and the swap! I really hope we can do it again sometime! <3
Have I mentioned that you have a knack for summaries (and titles for that matter)? Well - that's what drew me in again.
From the outset I liked this story. It started with intensity that didn't break even as you eased into some setting description and began establishing the James (II) and Hannah dynamic. As the secret inevitably leaked out between these two (2) best friends and that dynamic became more established I found I really enjoyed the interplay as they manifested the similarities and differences between Badgers and Lions. I think I would've enjoyed that aspect a bit more had it not been made as explicit when introducting their houses, but the mesh is a positive on the whole.
With specific characters I think Hannah was really well done. She had the fire of a Finnigan with the thoughtful, measured mentality of a Thomas and she seems to have nice dimension and background both with James and the location. James (II) I'm undecided on for the moment. His friendship with Hannah reads very genuine, which leads me to believe he's deeper than he comes across, but he also demonstrates a bit of a dangerous comparability to the James (I) as womanizer characterization often found in Marauder fics. Regardless, I liked that his tendency toward selfishness seems to be a character trait (and a reasonable, more deep-seated flaw) rather than something done in the moment and I think there's enough between the lines to make this chapter read ambiguous as to his true motivations going forward. From the summary it seems like his stated basis for the approach can be taken at face value, but I'd be interested to see how it could unfold. Thus far I could be satisfied either way, but you've also written a couple of characters who I might like to make that friends-to-lovers journey.
Thanks for both the swap AND another epic read, Jill! I'll try to come back for the remaining chapters soon (thought I'm forgetful these days so...you know...don't let me forget) :P
Kevin! I'm so glad you like my summaries because I struggle so much with them!
I can totally see what you mean about the house thing! I was actually thinking that to myself when I read over chapter 1 after having some distance between the dates. I'm still happy the experience was a positive one.
Is it too early to say that you should, indeed, be wary of James? :D I try really hard to make my characters real and believable, especially with next gen kids and OCs, so I'm happy that comes across here too! I never really thought of Hannah that way, but you're absolutely right. She is a good mix of her fathers and her relationship with James is definitely an intense one.
Thank YOU for an epic review, Kevin! I'm more than happy to help you remember, since I need to read more of Escape Velocity!
There is literally nothing that I do not like about this story. Absolutely, literally nothing.
Jill I freaking love this so much. I relate to Hannah way too much for my own good. Like seriously, I think I would be in love with her if James didn't also exist. They are so incredibly real and I feel like I really know them and want them to be my best friends. But really, I love how James immediately jumps to Hannah's defense and offers to beat the jerkface up. He's a real ride or die and we all need someone like him in our lives.
I also love all of the backstory that you've peppered in throughout this. It's just the right amount to give me a sense of the characters, but not overload me with info. You also set your world up so well, especialy with the bits about Tom and Hannah and James' standing Thursday night dinner.
IS THIS A FAKE DATING FIC OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE LORD GOD ABOVE
Anyway, I can't see how this could possibly go wrong. Nothing at all, nope. Smooth sailing from here on out, am I right folks?
Oh, crap, I forgot to comment on the fact that shE IS DEAN AND SEAMUS'S DAUGHT I AM ONCE AGAIN WHAT THE KIDS CALL BLESSED
Also: "..she all but laughed in my life..."--> I think it should be laughed in my face?
In all seriousness, I'm really sorry that you gave me this really nice supportive review and then I give you this jumbled mess of a review. But just know that I truly love this and once I'm no longer drowning in semester projects (aka probably tomorrow when I'm procrastinating :P)
Claire, this review literally made my day and put the biggest smile on my face. Don't even apologize for the jumbled mess because those are my favorite kinds of reviews! :P
I've been working hard on developing my characters and making them more realistic, so I'm glad that you find Hannah to be relatable. Feel free to be in love with her anyway, even though James does exist! Haha. James is mostly a ride or die kind of guy, at least when it comes to Hannah. <3
YES IT IS A FAKE DATING STORY I'M NOT EVEN SORRY. But it's not a cliche one. Um. I'll leave that there...
Oh yes, totally smooth sailing! Nothing could ever go wrong with fake dating your best friend! :P
She is Deamus' daughter!
And yes, you're absolutely right about that typo. Thanks for pointing it out!
I'm so glad you loved this and again, don't apologize. These are the best kinds of reviews! <3
Dang. I know I read the first chapter on another site so I hope you don't mind I'm reviewing here! Trying to bring some love to HPFT! I knew this story was going to be saucy but I didn't think it would happen this quickly! I loved the 'practice' they went through. I like that you kept it light hearted. They had me laughing because it's like she's kissing her brother. Except he's not her brother and he's attractive and the self doubt that is already creeping up means someone is going to get hurt here. And I can't wait for that to happen! I'm evil but I'm so obsessed. *laughs evilly* I think the addition of her ex and her parents really gave the chapter more oomph. I don't want the story to just be all about them. I like secondary characters and I think Ben is worthless but useful because he didn't even see it coming and I'm sure he's going to say someone to the Wizardrazzi. Onward ho to the next chapter!
Hello there! I certainly don't mind, you can review wherever you like :D And I'm all about bringing love to HPFT! <3
I'm glad that you're evilly obsessed, haha. The self-doubt is already there; I find it hard not to be when she knows James is attractive and she also knows him. And I'm glad you liked the additions; I agree that the story shouldn't be just about them and always try to expand characters' worlds as much as I can while keeping it in the realm of the story, if that makes sense.
Wizardrazzi! I love it XD
Thanks for the surprise review!
I have so many questions. Like, why does Seamus dislike James (and Harry)?? How does James actually feel? Did he tip the reporter off? Inquiring minds want to know! Why is there no new chapter? :( (If the answer is "because you haven't posted C11 of Shenanigans, touche. :P)
This is amazing and hilarious. You're capturing a lot of emotional and interpersonal intricacies in a graceful and subtle way, and it's giving me a good sense of who all the characters are. Hannah and James in particular both come across as so vivid and realistic, and it's wonderful.
The only question of this I can answer properly is that there's no new chapter because I have so many other things to write! But yeah, I'm hoping to get the next chapter out earlier than the last update - which was back in August. Oops. (And I would totally go for another chapter of Shenanigans anyway!)
I'm so so glad that you like this. I tried a slightly different style in terms of how I wrote James and Hannah - Hannah in particular is super observant and has known James all of her life, so she'll know all of his naunces and quirks. But I'm super happy that you think Hannah is just as vivid and realistic. I think they're one of my favorite couples to write right now!
Ooooh, that's so harsh. I get what Hannah meant, but telling Seamus that he's not any different from Ginny because she's not blood-related to any of them is really harsh, and I felt so bad for him in that moment. It was a great moment, though - you wrapped a lot of backstory and interpersonal dynamics up into a scene that followed perfectly from the breakup. I loved it, and I wanted to know so much more. Like, what do they have against James??
Anyway, though! I adored that James wanted them to "practice." I mean, he's not wrong, but wow, I was totally on board with Hannah's "omg wut" reaction. :P (And her weakness for dimples. I love dimples. I swear that I developed a crush on a friend of mine after years of not feeling that way because I stopped being able to resist my usual urge to swoon over dimples. (Which was actually dead nerves from a fall when he was a kid, but whatever.) THE POINT IS I GET IT.)
I also kind of feel like Hannah might have feelings for James already? Except buried deep? It's very difficult to figure out, because I don't know that I've had quite the physical reaction to someone I had only platonic interest in that she has to James, and she's clearly aware that it could turn real - but at the same time, she seems fairly certain that she's not interested?
ALSO James I love you, I legit wish I had a 'get-jealousy-free' card like that. :P
Oooh, I forget that you haven't read anything else in my universe! There are definitely reasons that Deamus doesn't like James, and they'll be revealed in later chapters. But I'm so glad you liked that; I thought it was important to show that even if they're super close, there's still a bit of that dynamic and a bit of tension regarding certain things.
Hahahaha yeah, poor Hannah is so awkward in that scene. I was tired of all the "we kissed and it was amazing" tropes and thought that this might be a bit more realistic.
In terms of Hannah's feelings for James, well... you're just going to have to read and find out. Until then, I plead the fifth ;)
Wouldn't that be awesome, though?!
Jillllll! I saw this in the sneak peeks thread and I couldn't resist stopping by... and omg, I'm so glad I did. This is hilarious and witty and amazing. Hannah is super funny and relatable, and I feel so bad for her - though she's definitely better off not dating a jerk, and I can see how spite could make her decide to do this.
And I do think it'll genuinely help Hannah make her ex jealous. I'm far less convinced that this is actually going to help James get a date, but I'm very convinced that James might think that it will help him get a date, if that makes sense? I think he's likely 1000% off-base, though - dating a girl's best friend is usually not a great tactic in getting her to date you. Oh, James. It's already clear that he's a very special kind of snowflake. :P
Oh hi! What a pleasant surprise to see you at this story :D
It's funny because a lot of the time I struggle with writing humor, especially the Weasley twins, but Hannah just tends to flow really easily as soon as I get started. I'm glad that she's relatable; I try to do that with all of my OCs.
It totally makes sense. In James' warped mind, he's convinced that if he's seen in a somewhat serious relationship, Natalie will think he's mature enough and put aside her judgements. Of course, he doesn't realize that dating her best friend isn't exactly the best way to do that, but I think these circumstances are a bit different. :P
Thanks so much for the surprise review(s)!!
I told you that I thought this story was going to be good and boy it sure is so far. Speaking of which...where's chapter two? Why are you toying with my heart like that?
I love that James is such a good best friend. He's immediately attentive to her emotions and needs. I can tell I'm going to be completely in love with him just because of that.
I love your article titles. Very clever. I can't imagine what it would be like to be them, raised in the limelight. It must be exhausting.
Oh, James. Let's be real here. It's not about getting back at him. It's about latent romantic feelings for your bestie (YOU AREN'T DISSUADING ME). Sure. Nat's smart and her best friend. But still. We're ignoring that detail for my own happiness.
Actually I really want to meet Natalie. I bet she's going to be awesome.
I LOVE FAKE DATING AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT. YOU WANT TO WRITE INSTEAD.
Hello Paula! Fancy seeing you here at this story!
I know, I actually really need to work on chapter 2 because it's due on the 1st for the challenge, but here I am, procrastinating... *hides*
James is really adorable, isn't he? I love him so much already :D
We actually *are* going to meet Nat! She'll pop up in some future chapters, so don't you worry. And I hope she'll be awesome, haha.
I LOVE FAKE DATING TOO! I'm glad you're excited about this story!
Thanks for the lovely review!
OH MY GOD SO MUCH HAPPENED IN THIS CHAPTER. Pardon me, I'll be back to finish this review after I finish squeeing.
Okay, numero uno, I like this sort of tangled but loving family she's got going on. She loves her parents but at the same time isn't willing to open up about her love life (reasonably so) to them and then they are dying for her to open up. I get that as parents you want to know and help your child in every single way but some things might need to be shared elsewhere (that's what Aunt Ginny is for).
NEXT. The whole scene with the practice day. I basically just wiggled my eyebrows the entire scene and tbh they kind of hurt now. I know, I know, James is trying to get her best friend buuut let's skip the best friend and just go for the good stuff. The good stuff being Hannah obviously.
Finally, Ben is a well, I have to keep it 12+ and I can't think of a 12+ insult. He's a buttface. I almost feel bad for the downgrade. I mean he's really the slimy one and I'm sure he's romanticized the whole thing to her. At the same time since Ben's entire life is in tabloids I'm pretty sure she knew she was homewrecking so you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
I'm honestly hoping it kills Ben a little (or a lot) to see Hannah and James because cheaters typically are insecure and accuse the other one of cheating (right? I think I've read that and I had an ex that did that all the time) so I have no doubt he's thrown James in her face before. It would be as sweet as good tea if he's writhing with jealousy and anger. Delicious tea.
Lastly, THE CAMERA FLASHED so now her life is going to be turned upside down. I mean we knew this was coming. I can't wait for the lunacy about to unfold!
HI PAULA! *squishes*
Yes, lots happened in this chapter! I'm glad you like the family dynamics. I wanted to show that they're close, but not really ones to talk about boys, so I'm happy that seems to come out. And that IS what Aunt Ginny is for, amongst other things ;) I figured it'd be awkward to talk to your two dads about boys.
I had so much fun writing that practice day! It wasn't even part of my original idea for the chapter, but it just fit so perfectly.
Ben really is a buttface. He is very slimy, and you're right; she totally knew she was homewrecking. We'll have to see how that plays out.
Mmmm, delicious tea of Ben being jealous. Guess we'll have to wait on that too.
Yes, life is going to get crazy now!
Thanks so much for the amazing review!!
OF COURSE SHE IS WORTH OF JAMES, YOU AWFUL WRITERS AT SEEKER WEEKLY. She's a queen.
I like unsmooth talking James. I like that he's nervous. If they don't get together by the end of this there's no way this friendship is going to make it out alive. She's already super put off by his touch and his words and all of it and I'm just saying. Also the open door policy is hilarious.
They didn't even get a chance to eat! I hope he feeds her something delicious. No, i have no idea why I'm emotionally invested in their food. A big night out wouldn't really be their real style of first date anyway. Would it? I imagine something more fun and quaint and less stiff and stuffy.
What was up with James and the reporter? Was he being like that because of something else (eyebrow wiggle) or did he just not want her to be dragged through the interview garbage or whaaat? I need to know!
There's not really a whole lot of natalie talk between him and her and I'm wondering what that's about too. I almost forgot about natalie. Is he reaaaally into her? Does Natalie even like guys? Why did Natalie never express romantic interest or even passing fancy toward James like the other girls? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
I love love love love love both sides of Deamus. Their personalities and characterization are amazing.
I also love how emotionally invested you have me with Jannah. Like if you didn't write as amazingly as you do I might even be cheering for Jatalie. But...I'm not.
Pleaaase don't wait until like august to update again. That would be cruel and unusual punishment!
I'm glad you think the open door policy is hilarious - I had something similar in another story and figured that Deamus would put in a similar policy :P
Food is important! Poor Hannah didn't even get to eat her breakfast in chapter 2! But don't worry, something a bit more fun is going to come out of them leaving the restaurant early ;)
Answers about James and the reporter shall be revealed later on :P
Er, I forgot about Natalie? :D Nah, it's mostly that they're trying to figure out how they work a "relationship" so Nat hasn't come up too much, but she definitely will! And hopefully most of your questions will be answered in a few future chapters!
Deamus crack me up so much!
Jatalie hasn't even had screen time yet, Paula! But I'm super glad that your'e emotionally invested with Jannah!
I'll try not to!! But no promises.