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Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 18 Jun 2017 06:29 AM · Chapter: Hope

Hi, mel! As I heard that you wrote about Charlie and his dragon, I stopped by. As I read your one-shot about Charlie, it’s my pleasure to be back to yours. It’s easier for me to read the battle of Hogwarts era than Marauders, I got excited to know this chapter begins with Charlie’s worry about his sister, Ginny, remembering Bill’s wedding and the raid by the Death Eaters. Galvanizing some of the inhabitants of the Forbidden Forest to join in the fight against Voldemort! It sounds cool! I remembered the excited feeling when I wrote the last battle scene with a help from the other fandom, Attack on Titans. It’s fun to read the story J.K.Rowling didn’t tell us in detail, like Charlie-centric battle of Hogwarts.

 

I got more excited when I spotted Arthur and Bill in the third paragraph.

 

Oh, the centaurs! How they took part in the battle was untold. Another good idea, mel! Hahaha, I like their conversation between Charlie and Mongorian and Bane.

 

I don’t know why, but I felt this spot was very funny when I visualized the scene in my mind in spite of their fierceness: Acromantulas were clearly itching to join the fight alongside the Death Eaters.

 

Hmm, it’s intent that his first witness of the death is his colleague’s death caused by the claws of a Swedish Short-Snout dragon.

 

I enjoyed the battle scene from Charlie’s eyes in the sky. He's a talented commander or observer from above the castle.

 

Ha, Mongorian is too stubborn to admit what Charlie said before.

 

Wow, mel. It’s terrific. Though we know the whole story of that scene very well, I felt a different thrilling feeling from both their conversation about Harry’s death and their hope after his death. Many kudos on it! Thank you for sharing this chapter! I hope I can be back to the other chapters after finishing RL tasks here and there.



Name: poppunkpadfoot (Signed) · Date: 18 Jun 2017 02:05 AM · Chapter: Hope

Hey Mel!

 

I adore the idea of Charlie going into the Forbidden Forest to recruit the creatures that live there. It's not something that's explicit in the story (unless I'm forgetting something) but it makes so much sense to me, both in terms of Charlie as a character and in terms of the way the battle went down.

 

Obviously we see the centaurs and the Acromantula coming out of the forest in canon, and also the giants are mentioned there, but I really think it's realistic that Charlie would take the time to at least warn the creatures in the forest even if he couldn't convince them to actually fight with the Order.

 

The Thestral idea is really clever imo. But I couldn't help but think though that there would probably be people on the ground who'd see a bunch of people seemingly flying on nothing, and then the next second be able to see the Thestrals. Which is pretty much a huge bummer of a thought :( But it really is a clever idea, it would give them a great vantage point (as is explained in the story :P) and them having air support seems only fair when the Death Eaters had giants! I also thought the idea of the Hippogriffs helping in the battle was really unique and smart.

 

Loved the message of hope at the end. I thought it was great how Charlie and Arthur had very similar viewpoints re: Harry's death and hope. You could see the family resemblence there ;) Both of them were really well-characterized.

 

Great work!

 

-Kayla



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 17 Jun 2017 09:01 AM · Chapter: The lie

Okay I knew I would love this when I read it was Ginny, and I do. I really, really love it. This is a scene I actually remember from the book (it's been so long since I've read them whoooops) It's kinda surreal to read how Ginny is waiting for Harry and to know that he's actually there, under the Invisibility Cloak. But I love that as soon as she heard Voldemort's voice calling for Harry, she went to the castle entrance to try and stop him. I love that she doesn't even know what she's going to say, just that she needs to stop him no matter what. And I love how at every movement she thinks it's Harry.

I love this thought: I could never be a Death Eater, she thought grimly. I couldn't take orders from that voice. I'd rather die than hear that over and over again.

I WILL FOREVER BE HEARTBROKEN OVER COLIN </3

And Ginny stopping to help the girl <3 I love that Ginny thinks about wanting her mum. She's still just a girl, after all, but it's a reminder of how strong Ginny is as she chooses to continue fighting. It breaks my heart that Ginny thinks the words "It's going to be alright" are a lie. But in that situation, I suppose "alright" sounds like a distant dream.

This was so good, Mel <3



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 17 Jun 2017 08:39 AM · Chapter: Paladin

Arthur! I love Arthur!

It must have been so hard for him and Molly to have every single one of their children at Hogwarts during the battle (and we won't talk about the fact that they lost one...) I LOVE that Arthur was the first to jump in on the battle plans, and that Arthur knew Remus must know the forest very well.

I love that Arthur seeing his family together gave him a fresh wave of courage.

No, no, I said we're NOT talking about the statistics of one of them not making it D: Molly breaks my heart! But man she was badass in the battle.

I love this: Arthur smiled when Fred and George volunteered to look after the secret passageways - he had thought that they would rise to that particular challenge.

I love how Arthur still smiled and kept calm when talking to the girl. Seriously, I love him.

This chapter is amazing. It's so great to read Arthur's POV, and I think you wrote it perfectly, and I love that you included some of Kingsley's dialogue from the book. It sort of solidifies Arthur's story about what happened.

Excellent work!



Name: FlamingQuilltips (Signed) · Date: 16 Jun 2017 06:08 AM · Chapter: The longest walk

Hello Mel!

 

First off, I'm super impressed by your idea of covering the battle from different perspectives. I think it's an amazing insight, to draw from the different characters and bringthe whole war alive in 3D form (as we only saw it from Harry's PoV).

 

Secondly, I'm pretty excited to be reading one of your works. I've heard so much about HTM.

 

Hagrid is somewhat a special character as he's the one JKR doesn't kill off, and has such a big influence inHarry's life. I love how you brought Hagrid to life in this. 

 

I can totally imagine Aragog's descendants switching sides. They did want to kill Hagrid after all, didn't they. I am simply disgusted with the idea of the Death Eaters using Hagrid's unconscious body to practice hexes and curses But alas, that's to be expected of them. 

 

I simply love the way you described Harry through Hagrid's eyes. For the most part he comes off as immature, but Hagrid was one person who understood Harry on a level noone else did, and I love that you brought that out by Hagrid sensing Harry's fear, when everyone else would have sensed his courage. 

 

That moment between Harry's fall to the ground and him showing he was alive must have been the most tortured time for Hagrid. I simply adore that you brought that out. His agony, his disgust, his helplessness, you have described it all so wonderfully well! How he was only half aware of what was happening and how the grief consumed him, not unlike what Harry felt when Sirius passed through the veil.

 

Trust Hagrid to think of Skeeter at a time like this! He ought to know, having been a direct victim of her written word. 

 

The last couple sentences were absolute brilliance. Shows just how tough Hagrid was, shows what makes Hagrid, Hagrid, and why exactly he is one of the most beloved characters!

 

Thank you for this wonderful piece of work! Loved it!!

 

XOXO

Ysh



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 05 Feb 2017 10:03 PM · Chapter: Retribution

I think Fleur is the most difficult character to write about. First of all, her accent is hard to pull off. Then there's the tricky business of treating her personalit justice. You managed on both accounts though. 

I love the dynamic that you created for their relationship. One second, he is holding his breath as she fights and then another he's confident enough that she can hold her own. I love this notion that while he is protective of her and fears for her safety, he also trusts her to hold her own in a very serious and hard battle. He doesn't treat her like this beautiful, delicate doll but fully respects her as a person and a warrior which is amazing. 

Anyways, I won't rant on... Just know that it was yet another wonderful chapter!



Author's Response:

Thanks! I believe that if Fleur was chosen for the TriWizard Tournament then clearly she had to be more than capable, even though a lot of people seem to write her off, possibly because she looks a little frail. So of course Bill would be protective of her - she is his wife, after all - but he would also have confidence in her abilities. Glad you liked it!

cheers Mel



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2017 04:58 PM · Chapter: Paladin

These are so good! I really enjoyed Ron's section. It honestly felt like it could've been part of the book. I love that you stayed true to the spirit of the book. You only briefly mention Ron/Hermione. Instead, you focus on the battle itself. 


 


I think that you managed to remind us that the battle was fought by many. It was just Harry Potter vs. Voldermort... There were so many involved, and their stories are just as worth the telling. 


Brilliant. Consider me a fan. 



Author's Response:

Thank you very much. That was kind of the idea with these stories - to show just how much more was going on, with people other than Harry. If the urge comes I may even write some more, but this is what I have to start with. So pleased you're enjoying them!

cheers Mel



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2017 04:55 PM · Chapter: Against the wall

The Fred chapter was perfection yet again. I love your writing style so much. I can't wait to see what else you come up. 



Author's Response:

Thank you very much! I enjoyed writing Fred, but credit must got to Jill (farmgirl) for helping me with characterisation. After all, no one does the Weasley twins like she does. :)

cheers Mel



Name: LunaStellaCat (Signed) · Date: 30 Jan 2017 09:44 PM · Chapter: The prodigal son

So, if you haven't already, you need to join MNFF because you really have true talent.  I like to read that because it's interesting.  Here is interesting, too.   I would hope that you draft originsl fiction because you seriously, seriously hsve some talent as a writer.  Your insight into this is really thought out and connected really well.  I never thought that Percy epuld be like, "Yeah, that's okay .... okay.... not really okay, but what hell? - I'm going with it.  Okay.  That is not Okay.  Nokay.  (Sorry I just watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"-and I hate romance - but when that lady said that milk went straight up my nose.  I died.). 

i don't even know which character that was.  I like that the fsmily is so readily accepting to bring him back into the fold.  I come from a big family of seven children myself -last name Wesley - big joke in school.  (Thanks, Jo.  JK. :))That's what we would do.  We've done that.  Really well done there, dearie.  

Oh, the part that I find surprising that I love d84;a039; and this never crossed by mind?  The fact that Aberforth is doing this and then this on the side and he does NOT care.  HAAAAAA!  Old man syndrome, right there! Love that you reminded me of my grandfather there.  That's the one thing that I thought the other Dumbledore was forever misding.  Granted, not all old men have the "Hey you, get out of my lawn or my garden " complex, but a lot of times, it's there.  It's so endearing.  Ah, Aberforth, I laughed my you-know-what off reading him in DH.  

Oh, my God, you need to do an Aberforth chapter.  If you can pull that off, respect!  You do you, boo.  Well done. Ah, good times.  Continueth, por favor.  

 

Jenn

 

 



Author's Response:

Yes I think it certainly did go in stages for Percy, as I'm sure was the case for a lot of people. There are parallels in today's world too, with Trump - at what point do you say, no, this isn't acceptable? But of course there was the aspect of having to swallow his pride which, as for many people,is much easier said than done.

I confess I don't have an Aberforth chapter in this collection. Essentially I cover all 10 Weasleys and there are four additional POVs, but Aberforth isn't one of them. I never really felt a pressing need to write his story, you know?

Thanks for the review!

cheers Mel



Name: LunaStellaCat (Signed) · Date: 30 Jan 2017 09:13 PM · Chapter: Taking the plunge

This is actually really good.  I mentioned to someone, and. I can't remember who, but it was probably my beta that the Battle of Hogwarts was written in a way that I think one would do a cameo shot. I mean, it's rather like Rowlingg aimed to write that part as a movie scene by shattering it and splitting it into angles.  Does that make sense?  At the time when I first read that in the book, I didn't understand why.  And then I did.  

She covers more ground that way!  I wonder if she thought of that or if her editor said, "Hey, here's a idea."  

Oh, I know exactly who I mentioned this to now that I remember.  And I stand by that statement.  Yeah.  It's great that's  Ron has her try more than once.  Sometimes it's given that Hermione is too perfect and people forget that she, too, is human.  It is human to err.  

I hope that you do a Remus and Tonks or a Remus and Kingsley here.  I like the Remus and Kingsley as a friendship pairing.  By the way, aren't you glad Peter never made it to the Battle of Hogwarts?  I think I read in an FAQ where someone asks if Lupin kills Pettigrew.  No.  It would be too cliche for one thing.  I like that Ron and Hermione aren't sitting around doing nothing.  I love when Ron is like in DH "Dude, Harry, if we die saving Malfoy, I will kill you.  Like, we are done." Classic!  I Love that Rowling had the guts to put that in there.  

 

Nice shot on the cameo.  Well done.  

 

 



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review! I'm not sure what JKR had in mind when she wrote the Battle of Hogwarts, but it's certainly true that there are all sorts of oppotunities for cameos, as you say. This always seemed an obvious missing moment to me so I was pleased for the chance to write it. I agree that Hermione was far from perfect and it's absolutely natural, in a situation like this of great stress and pressure, that she might get it wrong the first time. Glad you appreciated it!

cheers Mel



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