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Name: wq123 (Anonymous) · Date: 25 Nov 2017 03:29 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

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Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 08:02 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

Hey Brax!

 

I don't know if this is weird or not but I love the chapter title - the fact that you start off the beginning by saying 'The End'.

That's why I had a feeling this story would make me kind of sad and it does. The opening is so dark but incredibly well written. I think the description of drinking the green potion in the cave is perfect. I know personally I wouldn't have a clue where to begin, so I'm impressed.

 

It makes my heart hurt that Regulus really wants to be like his brother but fear of his parents and their expectations is stronger. Nooo it's thoughts of Sirius that the potion brings forward. I love that you've written that this is what drives Regulus and played on his mind for so long.

 

He knew he would never be afraid again. I guess it's some comfort that his death is relief, in a way.

Yep, this: Knowing that he was no longer a coward, he closed his eyes and embraced death gracefully. This is what I love about Regulus Black so much - that he was a Death Eater for so long but died a hero. I think that really comes out in this story.

 

<3



Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 17 Jun 2017 10:11 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

STOP DOING THIS TO ME IT ISN'T FUNNY I WANT TO CRY. First, I have George erasing his memory and now you give me this agonising fic about Regulus which is just as sad! Are you trying to kill my heart or something??

 

That aside...I loved the visions Regulus have. Well, as much as I can love them without wanting to burst into tears. It seems so fitting that Regulus would be thinking of Sirius in his last moments, as I could definitely imagine him wanting to defy his parents but being too afraid. The scene when Sirius was leaving was so sad. It made me so angry when you mentioned the bruises he had, because I often forget that his horrible childhood would probably have stretched to physical abuse. (THEY USED CRUCIO ON HIM HOW COULD THEY, SEND THEM TO AZKABAN!!!) I think you did a great job depicting Regulus' life at home and connecting so many of his memories with his brother :)

 

And wow, your descriptions. I know I could never do that in a million years. Somehow, you managed to convey the pain and agony Regulus was feeling but still making it sound...almost poetic in a way? Perhaps that's not the best way of putting it; I was literally dying inside as Regulus drank all of the potion. And the worst of it was that Kreacher was by his side the whole time but couldn't do anything. I don't know if it was just me but I thought the way you simply had him saying "Here, master" was so effective I was almost shuddering. In general, I was just blown away by the detailed descriptions you put in.

 

And now I think I'm going to go cry now goodbye.

 

 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 19 May 2017 08:36 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

OMG!

I'm crying... this was so hard to read... (meaning that it broke my heart... your sentences were so beautiful and engaging that I couldn't stop reading for a second)

Oh, Regulus... I love that he really wanted to be like his brother, to make him proud, but he just couldn't escape family expectations and all the pressure he was subjected to... can I give him a hug? Just quickly?

Your description of the effects of the potion was so good, so vivid and strong, I could almost feel the acid burning my throat... and I loved the style, how you mixed the present, physical effects of the potion with the memories it evoked. It really was of great effect (sorry for the pun, it was unintentional).

This was such a great piece, so terribly sad but so, so beautiful. You really have a great talent. (I'm sure I've told you already, but I really think that).

Thank you so much for the amazing read, and also for the lovely reviews you've left on my page recently.

Much love,

Chiara



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 18 May 2017 06:35 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

Hey Brax,

So Regulus is one of my favourite characters but I never write him because I don't think I could do him justice but I adore reading him. I was so excited to read this and I wasn't disappointed! I was so impressed by this, one of the reasons that I'm so impressed by this piece is it shows how versatile you are as an author which is amazing!

You've done an insane job at description here, all the emotions you've packed into quite a short amount of words is stunning. You've captured Regulus' backstory so well like he desires to be strong like he views Sirius to be is like heartbreaking, how much he admired Sirius is so obvious and such realistic reasoning behind his betrayal of voldermort. It is an angst triumph! <3 xx



Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2017 10:09 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

Hi Brax! :) Stopping by for BvB! So I adore Regulus Black and I can't resist a story with him in, especially one where he's a major character, so I had to stop by - I hope that's okay :) 

This is so, so sad, and so heartbreaking. You make me feel so much for him - it's hard, you know, to go against what parents' want and what you think is right and to not be scared, and in a way it's horrific that Regulus could never get out because of that; that he was always kinda stuck there because he didn't know how to leave. Like, when you showed how they treated Sirius, there was this kinda undertone of what if they did that to Regulus too, you know? And it's so cruel to think that he should suffer simply because he wasn't brave enough to go.

Also, I loved how you built it in with the potion - how it makes you think of things like that, hated and worst memories which it forces you to see, the things you regret. It kinda adds this layer of uncertainty to it - did those things happen exactly like that? Is he remembering them right, or is it twisted? And also just the angst of that so many of his worst memories involve his brother and feeling cowardly and so ashamed of himself, which is terrible :/ 

As always, your writing in this is so lovely - your description, especially at the beginning, was so, so good. It was so evocative and so clear, but you didn't overdo it, and it worked so well with everything else. I loved all the anatomy references, too - they were so clever and so cool :) 

This is a really, really heart-breaking, but lovely one-shot :) 

Aph xx



Name: MegGonagall (Signed) · Date: 01 May 2017 09:44 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

Hi there! 

I have such a soft spot for Regulus, so I had to stop here and read this. And now my heart is shattered. I always love reading people's tales on how Regulus' last moments were spent, and what his memories were when he was drinking that potion. I wrote a short story about it a while ago, myself. And it always amazes me how different everyone can make this moment. How authors can uniquely make it there own. And you did a great job of that here. 

I really liked how all of his memories had to do with Sirius. And I really loved that you showed here that they didn't hate one another. It was more that they were just completely different people, but you could feel the brotherly love that they shared. I think the part that killed me the most was when Sirius was packing to run away to James' and he begged Regulus to go with him. It makes you wonder what would have happened if Regulus did go? I doubt he would have become a death eater if he did, and then maybe he could have survived. *cries* 

It was so painful, the moments when he shouted out for Sirius to forgive him and shouted his mistakes. I just wanted to hug him and keep him safe and tell him that it will all be ok. Even though I know it won't be ok. :( 

Your description and writing is really spectacular. I love your word choices and the style that you write in. It's keeps your attention the entire time, and forces you to see everything as clearly as if you're there. You're very talented. 

This was an excellent missing moment piece. I very much enjoyed reading it. :) Thanks so much for the swap!! d84;a039;

 

Lots of love,

Meg 



Author's Response:

 

Hi Meg! Thank you so much for your lovely review!

 

To be honest, when I wrote this one-shot (in all my naivety, as it was one of the first ones I wrote for HPFT, and within 3 months of starting to write), I had no idea that the same scene had already been captured by quite a number of other authors! That was something I only found out afterwards, when I came across other Regulus-at-the-end stories, so you’ve really made my day with your comments that it was a unique take on that moment!

Regulus as a character has always fascinated me, and I think he was probably one of the most misunderstood minor characters from the Harry Potter series. The scant information given about him almost seems contradictory at times, so it was quite fun to try and weave something which fitted with all the aspect we knew about him. The desire to belong and fit in, and his fear of standing out, felt like appropriate driving forces behind Regulus’s actions as a teenager and why he felt obliged to follow the Death Eater crowd. But I think underneath his foolish decisions lay a sensitive person who just needed a reason to take a stand, and his love for Kreacher provided that. It makes me so sad to think that had his family background been different, the relationship between Regulus and Sirius could have been much happier?

I think I possibly went a bit over board with description here, but I’m glad you felt it worked well. There was so much more descriptive prose that I had to suppress with this story because it really lent itself to that type of writing, so I suppose I should be glad I didn’t make it any heavier than it already was.

 

 

 

Many thanks, once again for this! And I apologise for the huge delay in replying (no excuses whatsoever).

Brax X



Name: Jo Raskoph (Signed) · Date: 01 Apr 2017 08:11 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

Hi there.

 

So the title paired with the description gave me a good idea of where this was going to be set, it put the first two paragraphs nicely in perspective.

But then the way this story is structured is a pleasant surprise: I love the idea of seeing the flashbacks! I kind of know what’s coming (and I know it’ll be bad), but not really. It’s all very exciting and builds suspense.

 

Oh, this is even sadder than I thought. I hate how he feels like he’s betrayed his brother when really this whole hat business should only be about character and it’s who he is. That didn’t need to be a thing he felt bad about. I feel terrible for him.

 

I love this picture of the potion pulling at his neurons and the memories actually being torn from his brain… It’s disturbing and the whole metaphor works really well.

 

Ouch! The next episode is even more heartbreaking. It’s perfectly understandable that he isn’t willing/able to follow Sirius, it’s not easy to leave  your family behind when you are little and really… it’s still his home after all. I have to admit I hate reading this – in the sense that I find it very hard because I’m really hurting for him. It’s hearbreaking.

 

It’s even worse seeing his regrets when at the same time we see the pain it’s brought him. He’s suffering now, alone, because of his decisions back then.

 

(Again, I love this idea of structuring the story, it’s brilliantly executed too.)

 

I love how the theme of burning pain (the potion and his fear too) is a constant through this.

 

How sending Kreacher is one of his biggest regrets just goes to show he really has a good heart too. I think you’ve chosen the scenes for the flashbacks very well.

 

I’m mostly amazed at how you took a story we all basically know (like, you didn’t really change anything from what we know from canon), but your telling adds so much emotion and backstory to it. I’m really impressed.

 

Wow! The end. I mentioned before that heat was a noticeably consistent theme, but what it meant in the end… that’s really one way to blow a reader’s mind. Your storytelling is really good and this use of antithese to demonstrate the change in his character, the finality of the end… sigh! You really are a brilliant writer!

 

If I had to give you some constructive critizism, I think it would be – and that’s really something because I love your writing style – to maybe even reduce some of you great descriptions. Your imagery is very vivid and you use unusual but all the more powerful descriptions. So if I’m saying use less descriptions, what I really mean is only that you can’t really make your descriptions stronger, but you can empathise them by reducing the number of things being described in detail. Like, if you now clean out your impressive writing to leave only the best, most meaningful descriptions, that might be one last step to perfection in that area.

 

Thank you for this story, it was a very interesting take on this character and his story.

 

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Jo



Author's Response:

Wow, thank you so much for your lovely review!

You're absolutely right; I've gone overboard with descriptive prose in this piece (it is one of my worst habits, lol). Maybe one day, I'll comb through and trim it down :)

Brax X



Name: LunaStellaCat (Signed) · Date: 23 Feb 2017 11:18 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

Brax

 

I am glad that I went searching for you out of curiosity.  This is an interesting take and the flashback format is not confusing here, which is an impressive move.   I would have like some of the passages to delve into more than a few sentences because there is a way for you to delve into that deeper, but there are strong points there.  

 

The passage with the Sorting Ceremony?  That is so detailed, so strong, so fluent, and I would not have thought about that  It's interesting that Regulus wanted to join his brother throughout this piece.  It is most prominent in the first passage. The fact that Regulus is locked in his head and express himself?  The geniuses do that - the ones who truly need to have that voice are often trapped, or locked, or for whatever reason, simply can't express what they need to.  I see this in Regulus.  

 

Just because you're in Slyrtherin does not make you a bad guy.  I have been saying this from the beginning.  The division of Houses, or groups, is sometimes often more detrimental than good.  Especially amongst children.  My second criticism against JKR, outside of Professor Dumbledore not knowing anything about password security.  Professor Dumbledore, for all his brilliance, apparently never caught on to secure security.  It's that the groups, the Houses, sometimes, destroyed each other from within.  All of the Houses have good attributes.  Your Mr. Black illistrates that here.  

 

Grimmauld Place, for me, was one of those places where you didn't know what was going on behind those closed doors.  You don't know what you don't know.  There were secrets within those walls   Nicely done.  Brax.  Pat yourself on the back there.  

 

The scene with the locket is confusing in places, but that's okay, because we see what happens in DH.  I have to tell you, Brax, Kreacher's Tale was such an eye-opener for me in the text.  Rowling did a masterstroke there, and I cry every time I read that chapter.  Kreacher isn't a creature; he's a being.  Simple as that.  Shame on Sirius, yo.  I have always held that belief.  There are animals treated better than the way Sirius treated Kreacher. Well done with that part as well.  

 

Okay, I'm going to sound nitpicky here, but I'm a law student.  Formatting matters.  Your spacing is way off.  It's like reading a blank white page, this thing. Please take the few minutes to take the time to format.  You spent time writing this thing, so wrap it in a nice, presentable jacket.  Just do it and keep that in mind.  Also, and I don't know if you're aware of this, but an ellipses (This thing “…..”) that’s three dots, so you’re not using that punctuation correctly.  An ellipses is a bridge.  Use it that way.  

 

 

Well done.  

 

LunaStellaCat 

 

 



Author's Response:

Hello, LunaStellaCat,

 

Thank you very much for this very comprehensive appraisal :) 

 

You have made some very interesting and thoughtful observations about my piece of writing.

I confess; I am surprised that the rating you gave does not appear to match the level of positivity you have shown in your evaluation. I'm also astounded that the quality of the grammar and punctuation in your review does not appear reflective of your interest in the subject? As a veterinary surgeon and scientist, I find inconsistencies fascinating, but also confusing. I'm somewhat perplexed that they don't have a similar effect on you as a law student.
To conclude, I suspect you found the deficiencies in grammar and formatting to heavily outweigh the content of this one-shot when scoring it. That's disappointing, but each to their own, I guess :)

I'll attempt to address/defend some of the issues that you have pointed out with this story.

 

1)I don't tend to read my own writing once it's published, so any formatting errors will have escaped my notice. I apologise and shall remedy this; I also find it irritating and distracting to read stories when the spacing is askew. 

 

2) Unfortunately, I'm one of those annoying people who uses grammar in creative writing rather like some people use oil paints on a canvas; not always conventionally. I like to blame it on the bohemian part in me that is continually restrained at work. Sometimes, when I get home from work, and my brain finds something that it wants to tell the internet about, that particular aforementioned segment tends to let rip with artistic licence. I am grateful to you for bringing ellipses to my attention, but I make no apology for being wayward with my dots :)

 

I am really glad you left me this unsolicited review! It gives me some insight as to what you yourself are expecting when you request critique.

Thank you once again for taking the time and effort to read and review this story.


Brax X



Name: Rhaenyra (Signed) · Date: 20 Feb 2017 01:30 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

I'm here for the BvB review.

 

I don't believe I have read any of your stories before and this was a great one to start with.  First and foremost, I want to say that your descriptions are beautiful.  They managed to walk the line that is hard to get between not being enough and being over-the-top or distracting from the story.  It was easy to immerse myself in Regulus's head.  That is no small feat, especally for a story like this where there is a lot of bouncing around.

 

For a one-shot, Regulus's character was well developed and well rounded.  You have managed to show how he was a Slytherin but not a bad guy, a Death Eater but unwilling in that role, and how he wanted to make the right decisions but let fear or a desire to not make waves keep him from those.  This is so important, since we know he tried to make Voldemort mortal again. That in itself is brave and shows that he was not a one-dimensional character, so I think he often is not done justice.  You did it in this story.  Despite his shortcomings, we see how he was willing to be so self-sacrificing in the biggest way in the end.

 

His determination, his sympathy towards Kreacher, and his love and respect for his brother throughout it all were so well written.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed this story.

 

- R =)



Author's Response:

Wow, you've absolutely made my day - thank you so much for your review!

Brax X



Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 29 Jan 2017 12:39 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1. The End

Hey, I'm here for BvB!

 

Well, this made my blood run cold.

 

You did an absolutely amazing job with this. It's a scene that we've theoretically seen, though from the perspective of the person with the one drinking the potion, but you made it feel entirely new. The way you described the experience of drinking the potion was just so vivid; we saw the mental effects of the potion in HBP (which you also depicted perfectly, by the way), but the physical sensation was really only vaguely portrayed. The way you described it here, however, was chilling; I really wasn't sure whether the visions or the physical pain was more horrible by the end, though I could understand why he'd welcome death after all of it.

 

You captured a really complex side of Regulus, too. He's a tough character - there's a lot of freedom in depicting him because we didn't get an enormous amount of tangible information about him, but at the same time, I think it's easy to get him wrong because what we do know is very contradictory. You walked that line perfectly; Regulus-as-a-coward works so, so well, and it added a lot of depth to his relationship with his brother and with Kreacher. I didn't really feel sympathy for him, precisely - cowardice isn't a reasonable excuse to let yourself get caught up in a terrible movement - but I did want him to find some kind of redemption, and I was glad that he did.

 

You did a wonderful job here! I'm so glad I read this.



Author's Response:

Hello there, and blimey! What a wonderful surprise to receive this :) You've made me very happy indeed!

 

I'm so relieved that this piece doesn't portray Regulus as OOC. I wanted to keep in mind that he was only eighteen when he died, and, like many non-rebellious naive teenagers, took the paths of least resistance, resulting in some terrible mistakes.

To my mind, his affection for Kreacher saved him in the end.

This piece was an experiment for me as it's so very different from what I normally enjoy writing, so I'm glad it was convincing.

 

Thank you so, so much for leaving such a lovely, thoughtful and comprehensive review :)

Brax X



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