Hello, dear -- I'm here for the Magical Menagerie reviewing event!
I think it was clever to have a near-death (or at least brush with death) experience with the Grim Reaper. I've seen/read a few different sorts of brush-with-death encounters (not in this context, however), but I think the thing that stuck out the most to me was your Grim Reaper. The white-blond hair, the bubble gum and overall impatience as she's waiting to claim her victims, and even the fact that she's a girl was really unique. Plus, the overall attitude of the Lady Grim makes me chuckle.
I completely understand where the main character is coming from, too, in her general state of disbelief. Had I ever had to go in for routine surgery and woke up with some strange blonde chick telling me that she was the Grim Reaper and I'd died...I'd probably think she was crazy too. Not just because she was a far cry from the conventional Grim, but I think I would doubt anyone who claimed I was dead if I didn't feel dead and couldn't remember dying.
When it turned out that not only was this Grim attempting to reap someone for having died of old age when they weren't old (which was hilarious, by the way), but that this youngling Grim had sneaked away from her father and was doing some unwarranted reaping in the mortal world, I couldn't help but laugh! I've never read anything quite like it before -- it was amazing and hilarious! I just can't get over the whole concept of a juvenile Grim breaking her father's rules, sneaking out to the mortal world like your typical teenager.
Plus, I love the way it wrapped around at the end, to where the narrator was truly near the end of a full life and that same white-haired girl came back to reap her.
This was awesome, Carrie!
I am so glad you came to this story. This was a fun little piece for me to write and then re-write. (Yeah there are a number of things on my AP wich I have re-written from their original form.) When this story first came to me the grim with her pink bubble gum and converse simply walked in my head and went 'Hey, I'm the grim'. It surprised me and I realized that the grims at least in this univers have their own society and why wouldn't a teenage grim who is still learning her job not get up to some mischief. At least she got stopped before she could actually reap the main character.
I had a lot of fun playing with the little quirks that fell into this story and originally I had it end with the human thinking it was all a dream but I knew that it wasn't a dream and I knew I needed to show that in the re-write and that's where the final scene came into play. I like the ending becuase in a lot of ways this made the Grim out to be something friendly, something not to be feared and almost made the no longer teen-grim something of a friend to exit life with.
A small typo: in “shook he head” “he” should say “her”
This totally reminded me of the show Dead Like Me, with different reapers with different attitudes. I’m not sure if that was an inspiration at all.
Baha, the girm got the wrong patient XD Harmless mixup! Really that’s not such a bad deal for the main character - she gets to escape death, and have a better idea than most how it works!
Awww she’s not actually a reaper yet! That takes it from funny to cute - I love the idea of little children reaper being excited about their jobs and wanting to sneak off and kill people XD Not too good a deal for the mortals who get mixed up in it.
She certainly seemed like she had more experience, as she was talking about how mortals never believe them.
Aww, I like that the little grim girl got to come back to her in the end! Her dad said there were several decades of training, so I wonder how long she’s been an official reaper by this point. I love that she keeps her bubblegum and opening line XD
This was really fun, and I think my favorite thing that I’ve read by you!
I am so glad you liked this little tale. This was an odd little brain child that I just let the muse have it's way and this story came to life. It was fun imagining and writing. I loved doing something different from the classic idea of Grims that they have a whole society and world that we don't know about. As for the Grim being 'experienced' I was trying to craft her as one of those know it all teens. She acts like she knows more than she actually does. As for the decades of training in my mind the mortal of this tale was her first that she was her first. But I am so glad you liked this little tale!
Also I'll be sure to get to that typo ASAP!
Take 2, round 2. :P
This one was so cool in the way you keep the reader on their toes - there are so many zigs and zags in this story I was guessing until the very last sentence what was the real story with this girl who claimed to be the Grim Reaper. I love how you mixed humour into this story too. I guess it's sort of an odd topic to be humourous, but it is! At first, the narrator appears perfectly normal, and then the mystery appearance of the girl in the room gets increasingly strange and suspicious - like she no longer seems like a random teenager who showed up in the room, but carving a door in the air with her staff definitely raises an eyebrow or two. And I loved the eerie detail of the bed getting cold by the narrator's feet when the girl sits there.
About halfway through it's clear something weird is happening, as the narrator isn't that old, so either it's a dream induced by the anaesthesia, or the actual Death personified has just come early, with a mix-up about age. But you still keep it really mysterious. It's sort of like the Grim Reaper starts out seeming quite real, but becomes less and less plausible throughout the story as it seems to all just be a weird dream... until that final plot twist at the end when you brought her back. I loved the part where her Dad was yelling at her through the door to not go disturbing the mortals yet because she's not trained. XD So, apparently, the Grim Reaper exists - and there are more than one. There may be a whole community of Deaths for all we know.
This was such a clever story and very well paced, I enjoyed reading it! And now I think I should probably seek out a copy of the Gilded Rose because I've discovered I really like your OF writing. Great job :)
The first time you left this review it made my day and I recalled wrtiting up a gushing reply becuase you litterally sent me floating on air. Of course glitches happened and things were lost and I found you to be an absolute saint to re-write the lost reviews. You are a bigger person than I to say the least. Still I am quite glad you enjoyed the tale. It was a fun little lark of a plot bunny I had ages ago that was very poorly written that I decided to revisit again. It was fun coming back giving the story more depth and fix the original pacing.
I've always liked the idea that there is a whole community of Grim's and honestly that is what I had in mind when I wrote this. Now as I say that my brain goes - whole story arch about the Grims! Don't know if I'll do it but it is something to put on a back burner as something to toy with.
Also, I dont' know if you did check out The Gilded Rose or not but you wanting to consider it based on what you have seen here makes me exceedingly happy. If you do read it I hope you enjoy it and let me know your thoughts and feelings about it!