Okay so there's clearly something going on with Robards. I'm wondering if he knows more than he's letting on.
Absolutely loving this rewrite. It honestly feels like I'm reading it for the first time. There's extra detail and descriptions that enhance the story, and longer chapters mean you can take your time to introduce new characters and information. It's so great :)
I loved reading about Liv and Millie's relationship, but it's sad that they fell apart. I'm interested in seeing how Mandy comes into it (but slightly scared at the same time, knowing that she dies :'()
WHAT ABOUT THEODORE NOTT?! Gah, now I have to wait! But you've left me on the edge of my seat! This is such a great story, I'm enjoying it a lot more than the original! Xxx
So this is very exciting! I was a fan of the story on HPFF (and, like, of everything else you write) so I'm interested on seeing the same idea presented differently!
First off, I approve of the longer chapters :P
Secondly, the rewrite was not done in vain. I am LOVING this new version! The haunting premise that Liv killed Vincent Crabbe is what sold me (and probably countless others) the story back on HPFF, so I love that it's slipped in kind of casually and just enough in here. I'm hooked. You know I'm hooked. You are the master of teasing your readers *bows down*
I just want to pull this bit out about Liv and Toby playing: "... the both of us unwittingly foreshadowing our futures." I really like that.
I'm hoping we learn a bit more about her brother, and her father especially. Actually, I just want to know more about everything. For now it seems somewhat straightforward, but I just know you have a little plot twist up your sleeve. Maybe she didn't kill Vincent after all? Gah, I don't know!
Okay, to answer your concerns...
There is 100% something up with Robards. What are you up to, sneaky Isobel? What have you got planned, hmm?
Before I even went back to the request to see what you wanted me to address, I was already thinking about how formal and believable you make everything sound! I was reading like, "Whoa, I could never write anything like this." The Ministry scares me, but you've done an excellent job. It's still easy enough to read, and interesting to see how the Aurors dealt with the Death Eaters and others involved after the war.
I literally have no idea where you might be going with this at the moment, but I know I'm completely invested. Your writing is so wonderful, too. I have no concerns with that whatsoever.
Onto the next one! :D (because how can I just walk away after this?!)