MAGIC BINGO REVIEW
SO EXCITED for any reason to give you a bit of love! you know how much I'm enjoying this story and I thought I would such go from where I left off from reviewing!
So this chapter has my favourite line in the whole story or maybe it's more of a line and of course it's your dialogue that really got me again. So Hermione's line '"I just gave an opinion, I didn't say I was a fashion consultant!". I just adore this whole exchange between the girls because I just thought it was really in character for Hermione?! I made me laugh so much about how defensive that she is about it. I can just imagine this happening in the books even. Your Ginny is amazing because I love how she is just really sassy and how she teases her female friends. I really enjoy that building bond between Ginny and Piper so it was inspired to bring Hermione into that. It really worked for me.
I thought the scene in the car was well done, it's builds that tense between Ron and Piper. I can totally imagine being in the situation, ooh Piper. ' all I could do was fill my thoughts with Terry. It was almost out of spite.' ahaha! she has it bad. I love it. Can I ship Piper/Ginny's friendship?! this chapter was lots of friendship feels. NEW BESTIES. this reminds me of us you know?! *high five*
"They're so cute," Morgan purred. "Do they come in green?" < this line makes me love Morgan, I love Morgan as the anti-Piper as such. she's so fabulous! So I think I've just quoted your chapter back to you? I guess you could say that there was quite a few moments that caught my eye! aha. I really enjoy the last little paragraph because it really adds to the mystery of the story, it'll a little food for thought for whats in store later on!
love this & you. :)
- Abbi xo
Magic... Bingo... Reply?
I hate writing canon characters. I know, that' probably not the best attitude for writing fan fiction, particularly in the second war/golden trio era, but it's true. I'm always so afraid of just... Not getting the voices right and I know I don't, but I'm glad that my efforts can make you imagine that they might have actually happened. In my original draft (loooong time ago, mind you), I like... Didn't pay attention to the suporting characters, haha. They were just there, but trying to flesh this out more I WANT Piper to have connections with these people. She has a very small circle of friends and none of those people are present during this little escapade so she needs to get close with someone, you know? And it was really odd trying to imagine Ginny with a lot of female friends and how she would act around them, so I guess I just figured she hung out with her brother's too much and this just... Happened. XD
Yeah, I have a lot of trouble with Ron so I just make him obnoxious whenever possible, hahaha! I'm glad you like that line cause it makes me giggle. And you can totally ship Ginny and Piper! They are going to become much better friends as time goes on (and they totally are us, that's awesome! Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor, too! I didn't even realize, omg, I love them so much MORE now!)
I like Morgan, too. A lot more than I used to which is why she actually HAS a personality in this story. XD She is very anti-Piper with her outgoing attitude and she's a lot more fun to write than she used to be. (Remind me to tell you sometime how bad she used to be.)
I'm glad you love this story! It's my baby, I love it, too. (And of course I love you, you're just so awesome.) Thanks for coming to visit!
So I've finished all the chapters that you've have written and you know I'm a fan girl now! write more now! I thought I would come back to review this one because it's really good chapter and it's one of my favourites because I think it's really fun.
I'm really enjoying this relationship between Piper and Ginny (Ravenclaw and Gryffindor like us!). I love the girly banter at the start of the chapter about Ron and Piper becoming a human barbie doll. I think I'm totally shipping their friendship in this chapter. As you know I always really enjoy your dialogue it's a real asset to you! teach me your ways :P
I just loved how cheeky Piper is and how much she loves competition with the gnomes is so really fun scene to have the bonding between the main characters. I really thought the Ron interaction is great. you already know how much I adore your sassy harry too! my favourite lines -
"Apparently. What did he say?"
"Something, something, parseltongue...'"
I just found that really amusing again, I love how you desribe Piper's feelings during the kiss too (sidenote: squeeeee, they kissed!!). 'This is what the books preached about. This was everything I had ever imagined. Not like Terry' like everything about that was just perfect and really works for me. I thought you did a great job nailing that kiss but *sob* Terry is getting in the way of their loveeeeee! boo! haha! playing the long game, I totally get it apart from I want them together now like I'm not even Ron's biggest fan. I couldn't imagine reading a Hogwarts Era fic and really loving it like I do. I know there is just so much more to come and it's so exciting!!
- Abbi xo
Dude, I'm a seer! I predicted this crap! :D And teach you what? Your dialogue is awesome!
Oh, goodness, that scene. That scene has come a long way, I'm glad you liked it! It was super fun, but I made Ryan read it over because I suck at action. (Yet I insist on putting scenes like this into my stories or putting my characters on the quidditch team...)
Sassy Harry is always a good idea.
NOT RON'S BIGGEST FAN?! T_T Ron was my favorite in the books and I actually was really upset that outside of the first movie, they sort of downplayed his heroism (and gave one of his braver lines to Hermione...) And I was actually SUPER upset when JKR said she regretted putting Romione together! I mean, I'm just doing it for an AU, but I always shipped them.
THANK YOU FOR VISITING!!! <3
I decided to check another chapter this morning. :)
Aww... poor Reg... can I hug him too? I loved that father/daughter moment! It was so sweet! And the hug with Jake later... so sweet as well!
I'm sorry, but I really don't like Terry... okay, maybe it's not that I don't like him, I just don't like him with Piper, because it's so obvious that they can't work as a couple... her father saw through it all, he's smart, isn't he? :P
Okay, I'm going to cut this short (I should really start working now...) Just know that I loved this chapter and that I'll try to be back soon!
Chiara, you are my favorite. This chapter was full of some cuteness. And don't worry, Terry's part will work itself out eventually and I think you'll be alright with it. Thanks for visiting, see you soon!
So here, I am here to give some love to house of stone! so it's really interesting that you've done a AU because I've never really read one before but I love you've created this whole world, it's a great testament to your imagination!
I love that you've put another female into the mix along with hermione and luna. I think you've written Piper really well, I've been enjoying her humour and you've got her really strong thought process. I think something you do so well in your writing (which I'm jealous of!) is the way you manage to inject humour. a couple of my favourite lines from this are: "I see you weren't too busy being Chosen to come." and another line I laughed at " Dudley was beating them all out with sheer mass."
I like she is best friends with Luna too, I think that'll be interesting to explore that too so I look forward to them having scenes together too. I want to get this lot into hogwarts. sooo, the star of the chapter is the lengthy description of that cake! which omg, I WANT IT xD
I thought Piper's embarrassment was very well highlighted by cheeky Morgan (shes a character!!) and I thought her inner monologue about her kiss with Terry as very realistic.
I'm really enjoying this depiction of Harry because harry is a character that is so difficult to get right I think because he is Jo's baby. I'm loving your sassy harry like the sarcastic remarks! he's just wonderful! I'm liking this dynamic between Terry and Harry. that's really interesting, I really enjoyed their whole exchange. Harry saying that he recognised Piper's dad? is that important somehow? hmmm!
- Abbi (of penpal awesomeness!) xo
Once upon a time, this fic was just a badly written 'I'm going to inject myself into the story so I can be with my favorite character' sort of thing. This thing that it's become? Yeah, I dunno where that came from, but I wish I could translate it into an OF somehow. XD
Humor is not all that hard when you're writing a character who is nothing but sarcasm most of the time... XD
Luna is soooo hard to write, though. I'm actually just now only starting to write their first REAL scene together (14 chapters in...) and I often times wonder why I thought this was a good idea. XD Also, that is a real cake! It's called the candybar cake and it is AMAZING and you should make one and invite me over for dessert! ;)
I'm glad you like Morgan. I worked hard to make her a good character. In the original, she was just this bitchy girl who was a lot like Dudley in some of the worst ways and completely apathetic to everything and everyone and I just... Didn't like that.
I love Sassy Harry! I must use him EVERYWHERE! <3<3<3
-Liz (the penpal of the penpal of aweseomness)
Intriguing chapter title.
And I love the idea that this is an alternate universe of your own creation.
Just out of interest, have you ever written Jacob's story? It would be really interesting to read about the experiences of a Squib, particularly in the run up to the war and the war itself as I doubt Squibs had a particularly easy time under Voldemort.
*grins* I'm guessing he attends a Muggle school as I don't think those equations are taught until after wizarding children stop attending school. Of course he would nearly HAVE to attend a Muggle school but given that a lot of wizarding children appear to be homeschooled for primary school, wizarding parents must have some fun trying to find a school for their Squib children. Not like they'd have any experience of enrolling them or anything.
And yeah, it actually is a good question as it's one no witch or wizard would be likely to know.
And yes, I'm pretty sure it mentioned in canon that self-defence is considered a valid reason to use underage magic.
I really like the fact that her parents as Muggleborns almost rejected the wizarding world after what happened during the first war. I find it really weird in canon how everybody treats it like a great thing finding out you are a witch or wizard when it means entering a world at war. It must have been difficult for the parents to get Muggle typed jobs though with only a primary school education. I think an English friend once said that even McDonald's asks for G.C.S.E.s.
It would definitely make sorting out Jacob's future easier though. Hmm, now that I think of it, I wonder if Muggleborns are more likely to have Squib children. It would make sense.
It's a good thing Harry Potter isn't real, 'cause that bridge incident could well have created suspicions that might have derailed the Peace Process as it reached its conclusion.
I like the fact that she and Harry get on because they share a love of Quidditch.
You've written "the Dursley's" when it should be "the Dursleys."
That is a slightly odd conversation she is having with Harry. I wonder if he knows something she doesn't.
I have not actually written Jacob's story, but he will get a little short story to himself when the events that lead him to end up in the hospital happen. I don't have a clear plan yet, but it IS coming.
Well, to be fair, the Stones almost hoped that all their children would be Squibs so that they could really cut out the wizarding world. Obviously that didn't happen, and while I don't know how the wizarding world actually does it, all the Stone children were enrolled in Muggle school (although I imagine Piper may have started a little late until she had her morphing abilities under control) simply to get them socialized. Unless you're in the higher echelon of pureblood society where you have parties and connections with all the other purebloods and their children, if you're homeschooling your kids, they might not get the proper social skills they would need by age eleven unless there was some sort of magical pre-school or something.
Hahaha, it does but I'm just assuming that Piper doesn't know that for sure.
They actually had a lot of help getting those jobs and the credentials, schooling, and training required for them. And even if it's not quite legal, they learned enough to be convincing.
That IS an interesting question about squibs...
I'm so bad with apostrophes! Hopefully I will remember to rectify that...
Not really that he knows something, but just something he's had first hand experience with that she's only read about.
OK, the hints about this in "Bad Day" have intrigued me.
LOVE the opening. It is really atmospheric and mysterious. I love the way you describe him as a "tall, dark figure" before revealing who he is. It sort of gives him a sinister aura that is hard to get simply by saying "Voldemort" or "the Dark Lord".
And I think you characterise him pretty well. His anger at Lucius and the other Death Eaters who let him down and the lead up to Draco being basically used to punish Lucius. You can really see the callousness of Voldemort.
Lucius is completely out for himself. My impression has always been that it is not loyalty to Voldemort that motivates him but his own self-interest. And Voldemort's recognition of that and anger at it makes perfect sense as does Draco's disappointment. He has been raised to see both Voldemort and his father as heroes so the idea that their agendas may not be exactly the same must bother him.
I suspect Lucius would be hurt at hearing disappointment from his son. Horrible as Lucius is as a person, he does seem to really love Draco.
And that is such a clever move, implying that Draco might not be able for the task as that is very likely to make a 16 year old boy determined to prove himself. Especially a boy like Draco who is very convinced of his own importance and abilities. I really doubt he would like to have it implied that he was too young to be much use.
I really like the way you show Voldemort's sheer cruelty.
Well, hello! I'm only like a month late getting to this, but I'm glad you decided to drop by!
This story is a rewrite of my first fic which I started before HBP was released and in the original, this scene never existed. I had never written Voldemort before and I DID NOT WANT to write Voldemort because I was so afraid of getting him wrong. Him and Luna and Ginny are characters I struggle with because they are so complex when you look at them as a whole, but here I am, writing a story that features all three of them. (Not to mention, Bad Day starring one of them.) So, it really means a lot that you think I've done him justice. This prologue went through several rewrites before I even handed it to my beta to make the final decision.
I'm glad you liked it and I hope you like the rest of the story. It has a decidedly different tone, lol.
Of course they're avoiding each other. These two can't be simple and civilized and Piper can't do the hard thing and *cough*breakupwithherboyfriend*cough* Because then the story would be a lot shorter. XD
I'm glad you liked the insert there! I almost said something about Lily mentioning that Ginny was their mum, but I did not. Too much awkward, too soon in the story, haha!
Yes, she DOES need a Hufflepuff. I haven't singled one out yet, that's why she's just one step closer, lol.
Piper thinks that it takes longer than a few weeks to learn to love someone like that. And she is sort of right, it does for some people. What she hasn't figured out yet is that the feelings she has won't grow into love.
I always love your reviews! Thank you for visiting again!
I did tell you I would come back. Better late than never, right? ;)
I'll try to do a review-as-I-read sort of thing, hopefully it won't come out too disconnected...
"The Weasley's were the most inviting people I had ever had the pleasure of being unwillingly stuck in a house with." I bet they are! :D Also, was getting unwillingly stuck in a house with stranger a common occurrence for her, I wonder? Eheheh!
I think I already mentioned earlier, but I love the growing friendship between her and Ginny. I guess Ginny enjoyes the opportunity of doing girlish things with someone for once. Being the little sister with so many brothers must have been hard for her, right?
Ahahah! Yes, I bet Ginny was playing match maker. But maybe she was right...? :P
"Do you understand how long it takes to go through shades of red until Ginny Weasley is happy with it?" Ahahah! Poor Piper... :P Also, not so sure I would enjoy degnomization much...
Ahahah! Old, grumpy Ron! I love it! (I also love him) And the mud fight was wonderful, too! :D
Ahahah! The "Ron makes me mad club"! Glad they made up for now! :)
Aww, poor starved Harry... life at the Dursleys really must have been awful... I'm glad they are all having a good time together! :)
Oh, my Merlin! Loved the pillow fight! And Harry talking parseltongue in his sleep! That's so much fun! Ahahah!
They kissed!!! Yes, they did!!! But no, she said Terry's name... how awkward... but I guess things will change now, right? Okay, that's it, I'll move to the next chapter.
See you in a minute ;)
Chiara! Sorry this reply is like two months late. T_T But I love read-as-you-go reviews!
Hahahaha, no, I thought it was just a funny line. I mean, technically, she's stuck in her family's house and since she doesn't get along well with her brother and her and her sister are sometimes at odds, I suppose sometimes she's unwillingly stuck with them? Maybe she doesn't like some of her housemates?
That's sort of how I see it! Maybe it wasn't hard with all the brothers, but I feel like underneath her brash and tomboyish behavior, there's a really girly side that never got to come out and play!
You should see the originaly version of this chapter from 10+ years ago. It was so baaaad... XD This is one of the few scenes that stayed in the rewrite and got a complete overhaul.
I love you so much you adorable woman, you. <3
Thought I'd read another chapter, and tagging you while I'm at it. ;)
Ahahah! That's what I was talking about! You can't get bored at the Burrow! :D
I like that Piper and Ginny are developing a friendship. I've always loved Ginny, she's so smart and funny. And honestly, I think house rivalry is the worst thing, everyone should just be friends with everyone (that's very Hufflepuff-y of me to say, isn't it?)
Ron... will he ever change? Ahahah! I think it's so cute that Piper has a crush on him, and I absolutely adored how annoyed she got at him about the "the cute one" comment! I also loved Molly's reply when she tried to apologize! Just about perfect!
Hermione's tension for the OWLs results was hilarious! And once again it was lovely to see everyone through Piper's eyes. Loved how unsufferable Fleur was! :D
I will be back again. But not immediately, I really should get out of bed and do something now (like reset all clocks in the house... I hate solar/legal hour changes... at least this time around we get to sleep an hour more... but I suppose this isn't relevant to the review, is it?)
See you soon!
I have so many ideas to expand this little AU and Ginny is one of those ideas. Piper has never really hung out with anyone outside of her own house (sans Momo) and Ginny has never really had another girl her own age to connect with. (Sure, there was Hermione, but she is a bit preoccupied being all Golden and such.) Piper and Ginny were just destined to be friends, house rivalry be damned! (And it's a good thing you are a Hufflepuff then, isn't it?)
I'm glad you liked that! I'm always worried posting stuff that runs along side the books because I'm afraid of making people too OOC. Calling it an AU only gets you so much leeway...
Already been over a month since the clocks rolled back. Holy cow. Thank Circe NaNo is over!
Hi, Liz! Happy birthday!!! :D
I had to go on with this... I'm definitely addicted... Can't help myself...
Oh, poor Piper. That must've been so crazy and scary... sometimes I have trouble understanding Dumbledore... oh, well... she wasn't really in danger and that's what matters. Plus, Molly is always the best!
And poor Dora... :( you showed us exactly how broken she was and it broke my heart a little. I have to say that I gasped a bit at the werewolf comment... (slightly unrelated, Remus is the world's biggest idiot... I still love him to bits...)
I'm supporting my theory. Piper and Tonks seemed so similar, like they could be related. Maybe I'm seeing things that don't exist, or maybe it's a coincidence, but I don't think so. Plus, the dates match. Plus, Molly never heard the name Stone and that makes me believe that the name is fake. They are Blacks, I'm 99.9% sure. Okay... let's say 80%...
Aww... poor Piper... I really hope she'll be able to go back home soon, she must be so worried and missing her family so much. But one thing is certain, she won't get bored with the Weasleys.
Another awesome chapter! Loving this story more and more! Happy birthday again!
NaNo is over and I'm finally replying to all my reviews!
Dumbledore works in mysterious ways and I have a lot of trouble writing him in character. I feel like he explains himself in a way that only he understands and he does it on purpose to cause confusion and delay...
I love Remadora so much, I had to include it in here...
Do you and Rose have conspiracy pow wows? o.O
Never a dull moment at the Burrow! Thanks for the awesome review and sorry for the wait to reply!
Okay, I'll just spit it out because it just fits too well... please, don't laugh at me if I'm completely wrong. Is her father Regulus? Was Sirius their Secret Keeper?
And now onto the review! (by the way, I'm back again for HPFT Team Werewolf Review, putting it here so I don't forget... :P)
It was fun to see this scene again through Piper's eyes. I love to relive well known scenes through fresh POVs, and this particular moment is one that I really loved in the book. :D
Poor Piper... I would've felt so embarassed, sitting in the Dursley's parlour with the Hogwarts Headmaster while he explained things I could hardly understand and wondering why on earth he'd asked me to stay... By the way, I think I haven't properly commented earlier on her friendship with Luna and the effect it has on her. It's so much fun. When at the mention of Sirius she thought that he was a singer, I laughed out loud! Ahahah! Too funny! Didn't anyone explain her that the Quibbler isn't the most relatable source of information? (But I guess it is still better than the Prophet...)
Wait a second, she Side-Apparated? But where? Why isn't she with Dumbledore and Harry anymore? I thought Dumbledore would take her to Slughorn with them, but it seems that's not the case... what's happening? You might want to know, I don't like cliffhangers. Like, at all. I'm pretty annoyed at you at the moment...
Really, this story is so fascinating, and I'll totally be back for more again soon!
Goodbye for now!
You and Rose and your crazy theories... You know I can't answer, right? Right.
Psshh, the Quibbler is TOTALLY the best source of information! The Prophet hides the truth! (Something she argues about later on.)
I love cliffhangers. Like a lot. So be annoyed all you want, there are more to come. And you'll read them and you'll like them because something has to keep you clicking that little 'next chapter' button, lol.
I'm glad you like it so much! It's my baby and rereading the original draft is what brought me back to fanfiction. <3
Hi again, Liz!
What can I say? I couldn't resist, I had to read on...
Ahahah! Momo is so much a Slytherin! She definitely makes another interesting addiction to the family, I'm happy with that! :D
Harry's reaction to the sight of Piper's father was quite interesting, too... I might've a theory, but I'm keeping it to myself for now, it just seems too crazy and I might just be very much off track... but I am always more intrigued, that's for sure!
Mmmh... I think Harry might really have a little crush on Piper? Maybe? Surely, Terry does seem jealous. :P I'm wondering where this is going romance-wise... but I kind of have a feeling that the relationship with Terry will be short-lived. Then, I might be completely off track on this one, too.
What is it with Terry's father not wanting guests? How do you keep me wondering about everything? And what's going to happen now? That sentence left in suspension doesn't bode well, does it? Okay, you won, I'm going to click next chapter. *rolls eyes*
(HTPF Werewolf Team Review)
Guess away! Rose certainly has a lot of theories. Harry does not have a crush on Piper. He really just... Doesn't like Terry. And it's Piper's father that doesn't allow guests, not Terry's. (I will go back and try to make that more clear.) And it's because of the Fidelius Charm.
I like cliff hangers, I'm sorry! WONDERING IS A GOOD THING! It makes you read the next chapter. *cackles*
Thanks for reading!
Hi again, Liz! :D Here with another HPFT Werewolf Team Review
Okay, I'm in love with the Stone family already! Piper seems a fun character, and I love that she is a Metamorphmagus. Shall be interesting.
Her Brother was really interesting, too. I loved the security questions bit. Ahahah. Especially the maths bit (I'm a mathematician, so...) Anyway, this is such an interesting family, the fact that their parents are wizards, but prefer living as Muggles, Jake being a Squib, the twin girls... you just know the dynamics among them all are going to be interesting. Also, Morgan is a Slyherin? I'm curious to meet her and see what kind of person she is... ;)
I think it's interesting that they live right in front of the Dursleys. A coincidence? Or is there something more behind it? Are the Stones somehow related to that Lucius' failure you mentioned in the prologue (or is it just me building castles)? And what's up with the Fidelius Charm? Is their home actually hidden that way? Why? It seemed like Piper was Secret Keeper and didn't even know it, but that can't be possible, can it? So many questions once again... this story is so intriguing!
This was another great chapter! I loved the details from canon you included in here and your OCs and I'm so curious to learn more about Piper and her family and her friendship with Harry and just about everything! I'll be back (hopefully soon)!
Love and hugs,
Metamorphmagi and twins are my favorite story telling tools. <3
When I first started the original draft (about ten years ago) I was obsessed with that equation. I had misread the lesson and couldn't figure out my homework and I was stuck for like three days not understanding. I eventually went back and reread the lesson and realized how easy it was, but I had to use it and I had to keep it. Later in life, Jacob is supposed to become a math teacher. ^_^
Lot's of questions! Keep reading and you will get at least some answers!
Sorry to have taken so long to reply. I'm actually procrastinating NaNo atm... I may not answer all of these today...
Thank you for reading- I'm glad you're enjoying the story!
Transfer reply! Lol!
Chiara! How lovely of you to get stuck in my tangled web of stories!
I'm so glad you liked ol' Voldy. I was so nervous about this prologue, not sure if I had gotten him right. I'm so bad at keeping characters canon, so it's so relieving to get reviews saying I did good, hahaha!
I have little sympathy for Lucius UNTIL Voldemort comes back, to be honest. Everything up until that point was his own choice, but after the return it seemed like decisions were made more on survival than anything. Narcissa never really seemed to want any part in it and I always felt like she had sort of brought Lucius into her line of thinking eventually, especially after their son became involved.
Draco isn't so invested as he is eager to prove himself. By this time he's seen what Death Eaters can do and he wants a taste of power. He doesn't want Voldemort to think he's weak like his father or capable of failing him. (And he isn't so much despising his father for failing him as he is that he admitted he did it in a moment of weakness. If that makes sense?)
I'm so glad you like it! I need to read more Nightingale, but I've been a bit caught up with NaNo prep. I've hardly been doing anything else!