Deana! Here for your requested review.
And... what?! You cannot end a chapter like that. Okay, okay, okay. I know you can. And you should. But come on! Talk about an impossible situation! Ugh. What are Arthur and Molly going to do? As homeowners to the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, they must have some protocol in mind... and if they do, would it even cover hiding a Death Eater? Deana!
Okay, let's backtrack a little bit. The conversation between Harry and Draco is intense. They have years and years of amnity to sort out--and they begin that process here. Harry, being Harry, ever so noble, extends that hand of friendship! This is a great demonstation of what impossible situations do to people. They can put aside personal feelings for a bigger purpose, and Harry is the perfect character to do that! But Draco, ugh, come on, man, I know that you've suffered an irreplaceable loss and that you have guilt about a million and one things, but accept his offer, already!
And then Ron... you have him down so well. Even Horcrux wearing Ron. I'm glad that I clarified with you about you liking him, because he isn't very likeable in this chapter. But I think that's an important aspect to capture about him. He's such a grump! And he's fiercely loyal, and I love him for it! Again, your characterization is spot on.
And then Harry's vision about Lucius and Voldemort and everything... this leads me to the ending of this chapter, and Deana, how!?! Why?!? Obviously I'll be back soon to see what happens!
P.S. That Sirius Black "No, Ron, I'm Harry" pun... you stabbed me in the heart with that one. Too soon. Forever too soon! (But I'm glad you included it.)
Deana! Here for the requested review.
What a chapter! I'm so stoked to have finally come across the HP characters I know and love: the Golden Trio (sorry, but you know my initial feelings towards Draco, a character I love to hate, hehehe). And they react in exactly the way I would imagine them to--goodness, you have a knack for writing canon characters!
I LOVE how Harry is the one who is most open about the prospect of having Draco under the Order's protection. It goes to show how much he's matured, especially since HBP, which I believe is still a part of your AU, when his obsession was what Draco was up to. Hermione is awesome at coming to terms second, though I still think she's going to avoid Malfoy as much as possible. And Ron, oh Ron, so endearing, but I totally understand where he's coming from. This Golden Trio are on a deadly mission, and while I so thrilled that they at least get to come home to the Burrow for, you know, food and shelter, that security is threatened by Draco, and you do a supurb job at capturing that.
Saleena, an OC... and you also write her well. She's so knowledgeable about her field, and she seems to care about Draco a lot, which makes me wonder why she doesn't take him unless he's able to pay for her services. This seems almost contradictary, but I think you do that on purpose. What's her deal? Who is she? I want to know! The way she can delve into Draco's memories...(which are horrific by the way, you really know how to punch someone figuratively in the gut with your writing while your characters suffer so much, well done), wow. That's an incredible scene.
I've mentioned this before, but your writing style reminds me of JRR Tolkien mixed in with an old fairy tale. I think it's your dialogue. It's captures the full thought processes of your characters. They have these grand words, which paint how they're feeling and what they intend to do, and the exchanges between them develop your story. You establish such a firm foundation on where each character stands and how they're perpetuating the story. Already, so early on in your novel, you have so many layers of complexity, and I look forward to exploring them further!
P.S. I get to claim review 100! :)
Gahhhhh helloo again I am back!! Loved this second request just as much as the first and super glad you made the request to have them both done together because it was great to read them so close to each other!
This was definitely a super emotional chapter, especially for Draco! It's so great to see him open up to Roxi, even if he starts off pretty reluctant to do so. It's clear that he needs someone to talk to, and she's deifnitely a good person for him!
I really love that I can literally see their relationship progress in this chapter. Like, I can just see them growing closer and closer because of this talk and then when she sees him break down but he doesn't end up kicking her out. And his sarcastic defense mechanism to prevent her from getting too close was so on point, honestly, I wouldn't have pictured anything less. BUT I'M SO UPSET, YOU TEASED ME SO MUCH THINKING THAT HE WOULD INVITE HER AND SHE WOULD STAY. I mean, I guess it seems more in character to happen this way. BUT STILL
All of the feels for Draco processing everything about Lucius. Talk about having your whole world flipped upside down. I think he's definitely got a lot to process still, emotionally and I really hope he does manage to forgive Lucius eventually (after hearing all that Lucius' side), but I'm sure it will take him a while to get there. Lucius has made Draco's life miserable so I can't imagine it will be a simple journey for him. I'm really wondering how they'll even end up meeting again. Is Lucius going to escape from Voldemort too?
Ahhh I'm really looking forward to more! Such a great chapter, as always! Love love love reading through this wifey <3
Hiiii Deana, finally back with more reviews! Sorry it's taken me so long (lol I'm the worst).
I'm SO excited to be back and loved where we picked up! Let me tell you, these two are destined to be together because WHO ELSE WOULD GO RUNNING TOWARD VOLDEMORT LIKE THESE TWO?
Actually, there's probably like at least five other HP characters I could name that would, but I mean, you get my point, right?
In all seriousness, I love that he snuck out to go rescue her! It's super cute, and so is all their banter while they're trying to get back to the Burrow. AND ALSO, Roxi's inner monologue about falling even harder for him, ahhhhh it's so great watching them fall for each other!
Just as great was seeing Draco be wrapped up into a Molly hug when he returned! He's being fully accepted by everyone, whether they all like it or not! He's offically stuck with the Weasley's I think! So I think it was nice that they all lectured him when he got back, because it shows they care!
Again, more cuteness and banter when Draco goes to visit Roxi in her room (the "are you decent" exchange was awesome!). Then they both get stubborn again (or maybe just tired, I know I'm a hot mess when I'm that tired lol). It was really good of Draco to come confront her about his suspicions in private first. I can see both of their sides in this! Roxi knows Lucius has his reasons and his thoughts behind what he did and of course Draco doesn't know any of this yet. And of course, Draco has every right to be suspicious of Roxi's escape with his own experiences with the Death Eaters.
Ohh last few things before I wrap up to move on to next chapter! HIS MOM'S WAND! I thought that was such a nice touch and probably the only thing his dad could have given Roxi to get Draco to believe her. I'm super excited to read on to next chapter and see what Roxi tells him about everything! I thought the transition was great. It was a good stopping point and has me dying to know what she's going to tell him! Onward! -Sarah
Hi wifey! I'm back again! I love sassy Roxi to start this chapter off! Even being stuck in a prison cell can't stop our girl from mouthing off and I am here for it!
It was really interesting to hear Lucius' side of the story! We've gotten Draco's side and now to hear Lucius' side was neat! I liked hearing all the details. It's clear that he really does love and care for his son but those two have some DEFINITE issues to work through. It's going to take some time for them, I'm sure!
I liked seeing Roxi in action at the end a little there! Got some good Hermione punching Draco in PoA movie vibes at the end there and tbh I LOVED IT! But I'm excited to see her get back to the Order and Draco now! I want to see how he reacts to all this!
ROXI!! WHY WOULD YOU GO TOWARD THE MEN THAT ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU? THAT'S LIKE BASIC SURVIVAL INSTINCTS, GIRL!
There's so many little things in this chapter! Draco just having to watch from inside, Percy starting to attack the Burrow. I'm really excited to see were they both go from here because I kind of feel like this was a crossroads kind of moment? Like I think was the first time that the Order and the Death Eaters were in the same spot and everyone knew what side Percy and Draco were on.
Ohhh look at Lucius starting to finally SHOW that he cares...in his own way. Can't blame Roxi for being SUPER skeptical but she needs to get out of there somehow! I'm interested to see some of Lucius' thoughts and feelings, Also dying to know how Roxi gets out of this mess!
Ahh I am SHOOK at this ending! What's going to happen?? Is Percy there too? DRACO CAN'T GO BACK WITH VOLDEMORT AND THE DEATH EATERS!
Ok, so back to the beginning, I guess? Obviously I am SUPER excited to see Draco and Roxi interacting. I love that they have this instant chemistry, like Draco just seems to feel a pull toward her.
They're both such dynamic, interesting characters. I loved this scene between them, where they're talking about everything. It must be nice for Draco to be able to talk with someone who doens't know about his family and doesn't have prior judgements! And Roxi has someone who knows about her family now that she can talk about. I love them already.
...I just need to know more about this ending. I'll be back soon to read more!
Here, Deana, for your requested review.
Am I detecting a parent-child tension theme in this novel? If so, this is incredibly relatable, and there's so much potential, so there's really no saying in certainty of what's to unfold. You've built just enough tension in the Malfoy's, the Weasley's, and the Blackwell's to keep the reader interested... but you haven't resolved it yet. That's awesome! I definitely want to keep reading to find out more.
Saleena seems amazing. I'm so intrigued by her. Who--or what--is she, exactly? She looks young, but she hasn't seen her mother in 31 years, though she remembers her past with her, so something tells me that she's way older than 31. And they were friends with Walburga, Sirius, and Regulus?! (I assume Sirius is dead in your AU, and I'm heartbroken.) Saleena and her mother mention Gypsies, but something tells me that they aren't strictly only in lingeage of the Roma culture... My guess (and headcanon) is that they're fairies. They seem to live for a long time, age slowly, exist in clans, and, um, Voldemort is trying to gain their allegiance! I know that Voldemort tries to get other beings onto his side (giants, werewolves), so why would fairies be any different? What kind of magical gifts do leaders of this clan possess? How has Saleena used hers? So many questions!
Also, this is curious timing for Saleena's mother to try to get her to come back and rule... I hope she tries again. Their tension is so fun to read! (Plus, I want answers to my questions!)
And then Saleena comes to Draco's aid (for the right price). The Weasley's seem as surprised to see her as she is to see them. I'm so interested in what happens next in this well-crafted AU!
Deana! Here for your requested review!
Holy time jump, Batman! It took me a while to figure out when this is going on. This isn't a critique of your writing at all. I knew going into this that this was an AU fic, so I have to figure out what from canon still exists and what has changed in this universe of yours. The Ministy hasn't fallen to Voldemort yet (so maybe it's directly after Dumbledore's death). But wait a minute, Ginny going into her 7th year? That means that it's over a year since Dumbledore's death, which means that the Gold Trio (plus Draco) would be in their "8th year." So what's going on?!
I love the recap you give of the Weasley children, especially Percy. Molly and Arthur have raised such an amazing family, and I want to follow their lives. Also, Ron is still out there with Harry and Hermione? I wonder how (what I assume to be) their hunt for the Horcruxes is going!
And then that letter. Narcissa dead? But... I just read about her in the prologue, and I wanted to get to know her more! Draco's been poisoned? NOT GOOD. And I love Lucius' vulnerability in this well crafted letter. I want to see more of him, so I hope that you don't kill him off just yet... there's sure to be some awesome, angsty father-son moments ahead!
And then Arthur and Molly. This chapter is a good parallel between the prologue. They're both parents (like Lucius and Narcissa). The fathers in both scenarios are presented with a seemingly impossible decision. There's no easy solution. The two mothers are so focused on protecting their children (Narcissa: Draco, Molly: her seven), that it takes them a while to shift their perspectives to what their situations mean. I'm glad that Molly realizes that Draco is dying on her front porch and does the right thing and takes him in.
And can I mention that Draco is DYING on the Weasley's front porch? Again, NOT GOOD!
Lovely writing, Deana! :)
Deana! Here for your requested review. :)
What a prologue! From what I know of the Malfoys, they are a slippery bunch with a bank account to match! So imagine my surprise on your twist to their circumstances at the birth of their son. After all, he is male, will carry on the Malfoy name and bloodline... isn't that what the Dark Lord wants? For pureblooded families to have children, who will eventually procreate with each other to keep the Sacred Twenty-Eight "pure?"
But you turn that assumption directly onto its head in this prologue. Why no! Voldemort is NOT pleased that the Malfoys are expecting a baby. But why?
Draco's birth is distrubing on so many levels. I would not want Voldemort watching me give birth, so I admire Narcissa for going through with this ridiculous guise--in order to protect her family. The way Voldemort is ready to kill Draco the moment he is born is horrible--you write this Dark wizard incredibly well here. We all know he shows no mercy (Harry Potter and the Prophecy). But even here, with no Prophecy involved, he wants to take a life because he's displeased with one of his servants. Talk about ruling with fear.
Because you've written Voldemort so well, you're able to take an extremely unlikeable character, Lucius, and make him... human, deserving of some sympathy. He does what he can to save Draco's life. And I honestly can't see any other solution to what Lucius promises Voldemort. He's truly stuck between a rock and a hard place (though he COULD have, you know, NOT been a Death Eater, but I digress). What an incredible burden for new parents to have! This twist on what we know in canon is unique, and I'm excited to see what you do with this.
Quodpot Review Match 2
My fave faux siblings being so sibling-esque. I love it! It's so realistic the way you've written the two of them! They have such a loving and caring basis for their relationship but they totally just tease and give each other crap too-the perfect mix for them!
It's really sad listening to Draco talk about his Death Eater days. Particularly this chapter when he is telling Saleena about what Percy used to do to him. It definitely just makes me hate Percy even more.
Percy and Voldemort are SO SNEAKY! I've been wondering how they got past the secret keeper thing since Draco made the big reveal last chapter but when he tells Saleena, like what the hell? That's such a crazy plan! How did they pull off a Memory Modification? That's so wild!
Heart is BROKEN for Draco as he talks about the Unforgivables. That poor, poor man! He's been through so much, it's so incredible how he's come out on the other side. I'm excited to see how he continues to grow with all of this!
I totally can't blame him for not wanting to re-live these terrible experiences! It can't be pleasant for him and I can't imagine that he wants to show Saleena either! But I think the joke is on him if he thinks he'll get some peace and quiet while she's away. I have a feeling he'll have plenty to keep him occupied!
Quodpot Review Match 2
You can already see how Draco is changing and growing as a character in this first section. Like, I really don't think that he would have handled this situation so delicately before, even addressing how kind the Weasley's have been to him! It's already such a great arc for him and I know that he'll only grow more and more!
I really appreciate that he's recognized that only a few weeks ago, he would be bending over backwards to crush the Weasley's dreams and now it practically kills him just to nod his head when Molly can see him! Again, I think this really speaks to Draco's growth, that he is even able to see it, but it also sets a good foundation for his future!
THE POOR WEASLEY FAMILY! I feel so bad for Molly and Arthur when Draco is telling them, especially when it just draws over Molly's face mid-sentence! Percy is totally the worst! I have to say, I loved Fred and George's reaction about Percy being bad for their business. It made me giggle just a bit, but it was so them and just the perfect way to lighten up this heavy moment!
Good for Minerva for standing up for herself. Times must be tough for the Order right now, but that doesn't mean that they should just be questioning her every move like this! She's definitely earned some trust from all of them! Of course, with everything that happened in this chapter, I can't blame them all for wanting answers; this was a wild meeting with the big Percy reveal, and a new member, and Draco hanging around! Excited to read the next one; I need answers!
Quodpot Review Match 2
I continue to love how Draco and Saleena just have this totally sibling-esque relationship! Also, the PT in me LIVED for the gait training in this first scene while they were chatting about Saleena's upcoming mission to the Gypsies!
It was great that Minerva invited Draco to the Order meeting! He could be such a great asset to them! His perspective about things will be so unique and I'm really excited to see how what he'll bring to the table.
It was already an interesting meeting because Roxi is here! I LOVE that she's already kind of crushing on Draco! I think you do a really great job at describing her first impression of him. It's just descriptive enough and has the perfect amount of detail about all these little things that you totally notice about someone you find cute when you first meet them. I kind of felt like I was standing right next to her, watching them!
Similar to Draco, I think it will be interesting to see how Roxi fits in with the Order. Being from America, I imagine she'll have some different thoughts about the War, like an Outsider's perspective. I also think it will be exciting to have another Metamorphmagus in the group!
I was so surprised to hear about Seamus and Neville. Poor Neville! But that story was such a good example of how the war can affect people! I'm curious to see what else happens with everyone in the upcoming chapters!
The Order is so skeptical of Draco and I hope that they all come to at least tolerate him, if not befriend him soon! I fear that his secret will be a set back in this, but hope that everyone can more past this! I feel like some drama is coming up, especially since he will only talk to Minerva and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley about the spy! When this comes out to everyone, I have a feeling, things will GO DOWN!
Ahhh so much information about the Gypsies! I'm so glad to finally know more! I was neat to hear about it from the book, like a more scientific aspect, and then to hear Saleena tell a little more about things later in the chapter!
Except poor poor Saleena! I felt so bad when Minerva kept interrogating her because there was no way for her to know that she was asking things she promised not to! It's so toughm becuase obviously this will help the Order, but it's got to be so hard for Saleena to go back to that life! I'm kind of curious to see that the Clan is like though.
I'm excited to see how her first assignment for the Order goes! It should be interesting going back with her, especially after their last meeting, and I want to see the Clan in action, and like, see how powerful they really are and how much Voldemort has split them.
I love Saleena and Draco's like sibling-esque relationship! It's good that he has someone like her to help him, especially now when he probably feels like he has no one else! I just hope he confides in her soon about the traitor(so I guess that means he has to tell someone else first and I'm getting this feeling it won't go as well as when he tells Saleena).
I am SUPER curious about this new metamorphagus! I totally giggled about Tonks thinking she's being replaced! Definitely intrigued about this new idea and how she'll play into things with the Order.
Speaking of, I'm super excited for Saleena to be an official Order member! Except she's already hiding a BIG secret from them, especially now that we know Voldemoort is looking for Gypsys (and specifically her)! What kind of problems is that going to cause for her down the line? What's going to happen to the Clan and her family? I NEED TO KNOW!
I can't believe Molly almost got arrested! I feel like it was such a big moment for her to take the fall for keeping Draco in the house, but also, so totally Molly Weasley-esque!
Percy is the WORST! I can't believe he Imperius'ed Arthur. Are there lasting conseuqnces to this? I have so many theories about him and I am so anxious to find out more.
I loved the meeting between Scrimgeour and Draco! It took a huge turn but I'm super excited to see Draco become a functioning member of society. It was also neat to see the confrontation between the two of them and how they talked things out a little. So many little details they dropped. What's going to happen since Scrimgeour failed to bring him in? Many questions, need to read on!
The confrontation in this chapter was INCREDIBLE! I'll try and make this one somewhat logical (unlike last chapter, which was just this jumble of everything), so I guess I'll start at the beginning with Harry and Draco. You can already see how everything has changed and affected Draco--how he wants to be friends but feels like he doesn't deserve it yet. I'm waiting (hoping, maybe?) that as he continues to grow they'll be able to move past truce into friends because he already seems like he's maybe going to be able to forgive himself?
Ron's stubbornnnes continues to drive me crazy but it's so spot on! His characterization is so well done--not being able to see past the one thing that's central in his vision until he's prompted to move past it (and still coming back to it haha) is so him! I feel like when the Trio come back (if, maybe? I'm not sure after this ministry thing how often their appearances may be) he and Draco would clash most.
I can't believe they only got a few days before Voldemort found out where he was. I mean, I guess he's Voldemort, that's like his thing, but still! Lucius, come on man! I wanted more out of you! And now the Ministry is there and there's so much happening, between the three of them hiding in the attic and Draco in his room (four fugitives hiding in one house must make you pretty anxious). I am very curious about all of this and what will happen to Lucius too. I have a feeling next chapter will be exciting (and am bitter I have to go to work and wait until later to read it)!
Ok, WOW, poor Draco! That was a big reveal, happened with Voldemort and his father! Also, that Saleena can see his thoughts by holding his shoulder? That's pretty neat as one of her powers. But oh my lord, poor Draco! He's definitely going to have some issues to work through (I mean, it seems like he already has some, with the whole not feeling good enough thing, and thinking it's too late to turn over a new leaf), so I'm excited to see his development go from here.
It was definitely good that Saleena was there when Draco woke up. They seem to have this nice relationship, a good understanding of each other. It'll be fun to see them interact more.
I loved hearing a little more about her back story when she met the Trio at the beginning. It was a funny little moment when she recognized Harry as Sirius' godson, and then started chatting with him more. I'm definitely still intrigued by her character, even more so after she talked with Draco a lot this chapter.
I want to know SO MUCH MORE about Saleena. I'm already so fascinated by her character. A gypsy? That's so cool! Such an interesting aspect to bring into the story and I'm excited to meet her more and get to know more about her.
The meeting with her mother was a really neat way to start the chapter and introduce Saleena's character because it was like BOOM, here we go! I just really want to know more about her gifts now and why she and her father left the clan (I mean, there was obviously a difference of opinions on something, but I'm SO CURIOUS). Also, they knew the Black's? I'm dying to know more about this life.
It was a really cool fact about her that she used to make house calls when she first started Healing and that's how she became the Malfoy's personal Healer. It must have been difficult for her to see Draco like that, all poisoned and dying, but I'm sure she'll be able to work her magic. She used her gift on him once it said, so maybe she can again? Or maybe gypsy magic doesn't work like that? I don't know but I'm excited to find out. I already love Saleena's character and can't wait to see more of her!
OHH MY GOD Narcissa is deAD!!! I did not see that coming! Lucius' letter to Arthur was so fascinating. You could really see his fatherly love for Draco in it.
Molly and Arthur had some interesting interactions in this chapter. I can only imagine how strange it would be to find the son of an enemy on your porch, with a letter pleading for you to take him in.
Also, Draco was poisoned? That was an unexpected twist! I'm curious to see how he recovers and if there are any lingering effects from it. Hopefully the Healer will be able to come soon (OF COURSE the Malfoy's have a personal Healer, but I loved that little detail, it was so them and very perfect). Another wonderful chapter!
Hi Penpal! Here to shower you with some review love!
Ok, so I'm super intrigued by this start! First of all, contrasting what should have been a super happy day with such a dark thing like the Unbreakable Vow was so interesting. It was so neat to see the dynamic between Lucius and Narcissa after Voldemort left them. There's a definite struggle there and I'm anxious to see how it plays out!
I'm super curious to see what actually happens with Draco and how he grows up! How will this affect his relationship with both his parents (which I suspect his a big part of this story) but also how will this affect how his daily choices? Super excited to get into this! Legggooo
Ahhh okay first off, this chapter was feminist as hell. I love the matriarchal society of the gypsies and I love that as the chapter went on, the guys sort of faded in the background. It’s better that way tbh hahaha.
This was an extremely intense chapter. I sympathize so much for Saleena at the moment and am also a bit annoyed with McGonagall—maybe because I honestly feel like Veritaserum is an incredibly powerful and dangerous thing, and I don’t like the idea of it being used in this sort of interrogation way. Maybe it’s because Saleena had to tell such personal things—and you really highlighted that resulting pain super well.
I feel so bad for Saleena too because of her grandmother’s sickness. Ugh. Poor girl. <3 I think the gift you created for her is super interesting—she’s sort of like a human pensive? But also it feels rather intrusive too. idk, I personally find anything that manipulates or explores another person’s mind in any way to be super creepy.
Anyway. This was a lovely chapter! I hope you’ll come back and request more chapters for me to review <3
OOH DEANA THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD CHAPTER. So much to think about here!
I really liked that we kind of refocused on Saleena after the heavy focus on Draco; the good thing about this perspective change was that I really got to see Draco from a different light. I really truly love Saleena’s relationship with Draco, and basically melted when she said that she thinks of him as a little brother; that’s honestly one of my favorite tropes in fics, the idea of friends being so close they’re basically family.
I love Saleena so much. During her entire conversation with McGonagall, I kept thinking that she’s rather similar to McGonagall in some ways? I mean that she’s very tough and knows exactly who she is and isn’t afraid to be herself, which is all incredibly admirable. I love her initiative and her fierce loyalty to the ones that she loves. I’m really excited to see more of the role she plays in the future, especially given that now we know a bit more about what Voldemort might want from her.
I wanted to commend you on how well your AU has been crafted; Moody’s death is canonically different, but in your AU it’s still perfectly IC. You have a really great grasp of the characterizations of all the characters, which is what makes the AU still believable and natural! Case in point: Tonks and Remus’s relationship was also brilliant, so adorable (and a great way of introducing Roxi!).
I would say a bit more but I’m excited to read the next chapter. So please forgive the slightly shorter review than usual hehe. Wonderful job! <3
Hi Deana! Back with more of your requested reviews <3
This chapter made me really angry. First off, I’d sort of really love to throttle Percy, please? His actions are honestly so despicable—the idea of Imperioing one’s own father is like a new level of cruelty and disrespect for his family. Do you consider Percy to be a villainous character in this fic? I kinda doubt it because to me, this fic really revolves around the idea that no one exists in a completely black and white space of good v.s. evil—hence Draco’s moral grayness. I really liked the sly line you sneaked in at the end of the first section about Percy wanting to break his orders—that gives him a bit more depth and makes me slightly less angry at him by displacing some of my anger at the person who’s ordering him around—but STILL. Where’s your Gryffindor sense of self-righteousness, Percy? I don’t approve!
I can’t believe anyone would even dare to arrest Molly freaking Weasley and I’m so glad that Draco was equally as incredulous about that hahaha.
I really loved his conversation with Scrimegour too. Re: morally grey—Scrimgeour is also a really good example of that, where he’s technically one of the “good” guys, but has treated people, like Molly and even Draco, in a way that is pretty unequivocally Not Good. I liked that he’d made all these assumptions about Draco because he was a Death Eater—it sort of made me think about the last chapter with Draco’s assumptions about Hermione because she’s a Muggleborn, which further goes to show how you’re basically obliterating the lines between good and bad. That’s a level of complexity that I can really appreciate!
So so glad that Draco basically schooled Scrimegour. I reread your accompanying one shot before reading this chapter, and I sorta felt like slapping Scrimegour. Don’t approve of him either! >_>
I’m really excited to see what McGonagall has to say, and to see your characterization of her! I also think you’re doing a lovely job of keeping this story very action-packed—while still focusing on characterization. Definitely not easy to do! Super well done. <3
Hi Deana! I'm finally here to leave you your requested reviews for this fic! I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long, and thanks so much for your patience <3 Two things: your chapter images are BEAUTIFUL, wow, and congratulations on your MFWHAT award!
Reading this chapter, I can see that your MFWHAT award is incredibly well-deserved. Whenever I'm reading a fic, I like to pick out one or two lines that were my favorite. In this chapter, I was between "It almost appeared as though Draco had been pulling his own hair out while being tortured by Voldemort" and "'Look, I am in a lot of pain right now, Potter. Not that you really seem to care,' Draco arrogantly assumed."
The entirety of Harry and Draco's conversation to me reflects how well you understand Draco's character—and that was also reflected in those two lines. That first line, and all the depictions of what Draco had to endure, literally gave me chills—and made me sympathize so much with Draco. I see him as a victim of insane trauma and abuse at the hands of someone he'd basically been taught to worship—I think him lashing out is just such a perfect, sensitive portrayal.
The second line just sort of made me laugh because while acknowledging his trauma, you've still kept his other traits. Let's be real, Draco is sort of a little shit—and him lashing out at Harry and assuming that Harry doesn't care or has ulterior motives for checking on him is just so in-character for him. I also like this as a really good reflection of how distrustful he must be.
I think what is most tragic to me, though, is clearly Draco's internalized self-hatred. I think it was brilliant for him to refuse Harry's offer to be friends—not because he couldn't let go of what Harry had done to him, but because he couldn't forgive himself and didn't feel he deserved friendship. I've always seen Draco as someone who never recieved enough love when he was a child, and has thus been left in this state of wanting more but not being brave enough to ask for it and not feeling like he deserves to ask for more love. UGH. Poor Draco. I just wanna hug him. <3
Deana, I'm amazed by how well you handled Ron and Harry too. Their conversations with Draco were so drastically different—and in each conversation, you captured their dynamics so well. I think Harry has always been a bit more willing to compromise than Ron; he's never seen the world as so strictly black-and-white. Harry's also much less impulsive than Ron and that's super clear in how Ron didn't even pay attention to the fact that Draco had just seen his mother killed. I liked how Ron's conversation with Draco was so explosive–and how Draco also wasn't calm throughout the entire thing, just like Ron wasn't either. They were both super petty. I like that you're not making it easy for Draco to earn forgiveness—because of external factors like Ron and because of internal factors like his own feelings of shame.
Hahaha I've rambled about this for an undue amount of time but it was SO GOOD.
This was such a good chapter. <3