I have to say I was drawn to this from the very beginning. I absolutely adore the chapter titles, as well as the two words you used to describe the characters at the beginning. It has a rather haunting feel, and haunted Marauders give me life.
So only a short chapter, but it's definitely done it's job in drawing in the reader - I know I'll be following this story very cloesly! It's a good set up to what the story is going to be about, and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
Wow thank you so much! I am so glad that the first chapter drew you in, and am excited to see how you feel about the rest of the story.
Hello! I've seen this story in recently updated a few times and heard about it a few times, but I haven't had the chance to try and read this before now.
This was a relatively short chapter, but as an opening to your novel I thought it worked really well; this is a setting which most of us are quite familiar with Brough reading fanfiction, but you introduced your own take on it and set out clearly from the start some of the themes in the novel.
The first few lines were so interesting! I don't think I've really seen many stories which outline the characters so boldly before now, but I really liked the way that you chose to open the chapter. Stating the characters and then just your choice of two alliterative adjectives for each of them was really striking and interesting. I'm already fascinated by the way that you're going to explore the characters in this.
I liked the way you opened this novel with the eight of them being asked to join the Order, too. It's a really important occasion for them and I liked the way that you wrote it, showing how nervous and proud they were at the same time to be asked to join. Dumbledore always seems to be a difficult character to write to me, but you did a good job with him here, especially the dialogue and the fact you resisted the temptation to make him very verbose.
The ending was so succinct but I thought it was really effective. It's so sad to think they're so young but none of them have very long left...