Hey, Liz, darling! Here for Capture The Flag Round 1! :)
Oh, poor Dominique... not the greatest of birthdays, was it?
I loved the way you started, with her panicking over what to wear, it was such a normal and relatable situation. I love the idea that she does a modest job, but one that she truly enjoys and that gives her passion. You always expect big things from the Wesley clan, so it's refreshing to have a simple character like your Dom.
Mark seems such a sweet boy... I loved the recount of their first meeting, it was a nice detail to include.
Dom's family does seem a bit much... not that I'm surprised... having Fleur as your mother wouldn't be simple... I loved the siblings' bond, though, and how supportive both Victoire and Louis were. I loved Louis' point that they are all humans after all.
She will fix this with Mark, right? Please, tell me she will... :(
This was a lovely start to what I'm sure it'll be a lovely story. Your writing is always so smooth and pleasant to read and I love your characterization and descriptions.
Thanks for the read!
No, it wasn't, but she sort of did it to herself... Welcome, Chiara! You should come back and finish this! ^_^
Well, Vic was a Healer and Louis was an Auror and I just... I had no idea who Dom was when I started this story. Literally. I asked for a random character and I didn't know who she was. XD But I once wanted to be a fashion designer and sometimes I like to take my old dreams and give them to my fictional children and see what happens.
Right... Their first meeting...
I love Louis in general. I can't wait to do a story about him. <3
I'm glad you liked the story. I hope you get the chance to come back and finish it! Thank you for the lovely review!
I'm here for the Nargles! Congrats on being a finalist! This story is so worth it - but you know I think that. :P
What I really love about this is how you weave together so many different concepts, many of which fall into very morally grey areas. The Statute of Secrecy leads to morally grey situations all on its own; intentionally robbing a person of their memories is a really big deal, and the Wizarding World definitely doesn't take it seriously enough. You depict both sides of that with her seeing no option other than erasing his memory and his anger about it, and muddy it up a little more with the fact that she doesn't just erase his memory of her telling him that she's a witch and then break up with him.
It's a really interesting choice on her part, but it fits with the other actions we've seen from her - she's very anxious in a lot of ways, and that's definitely led to some poor decision-making. And, the fact that she kept doing that really raises the question for me about whether she was hoping that she'd keep meeting him or trying to keep herself from being tempted to get back together with him (which she might have been if he'd remembered her). IDK! It's a lot of really interesting questions, though, and you put them together really well.
My heart went out to both of them at the end of the chapter, and I wasn't surprised that he told her to wait - nor was I surprised that she was horrified when she realized it after saying the spell and impetutous enough to cast it without giving him more of a chance to change his mind.
This is so, so good.
Bran, I absolutely love that you liked this story so much and that you see so many layers in it, some I wasn't even aware of when I wrote it!
Dom is definitely a very anxious person. Her mind centers on the first logical solution and runs with it before she takes any time to think of a better one. I actually tweaked this idea in a recent original adaption of this story where the character erased the boyfriend's memory only of the information and they dated like that for over a year before she finally erased all of his memories. It was weirdly more complicated than this fic. XD
I'm not gonna lie, I had to bring myself to literal tears to write that ending scene. That's how I gage my scenes. If I'm not crying, neither will anyone else. Although, I cry easy, so that's an awful gage. XD
This story was amazing; so many twists and turns, and a totally unexpected ending, but I have hopes for Mark and Dom long-term ;)
Mark's mother vaguely reminded me of Mrs Bucket in 'Keeping up Appearances', who also had a husband called Richard (Although if you are from the other side of the pond, you have probably not been unfortunate enough to come across this pretty dreadful sitcom). Anyway, back to this story which was, quite simply, not at all simple, and completely brilliant. It's one of my favourite fanfics, and one I could easily read time and time again. It's a shame you can't modify my memory, so that every time I do read it, it's like I haven't done so before...
Best of Nargles luck to you!
I'm very glad that you liked it! It's probably one of my most popular stories to date which is sort of exciting! (I have not seen that sitcom, but I love sitcoms. Is it that awful?) Sadly (of fortunately, depending on your outlook), I cannot modify your memory, but you are welcome to come back and know that there will be more Dom and Mark in the future. <3
Mark's Mum is absolute class - I love her! I have friends with mothers like this!
I love the way you weave dialogue seamlessly into this chapter between the background information. I'm feeling terribly sorry for Mark again. Wow, you really have put him through a lot in this story. Poor man. I'm glad he kept a grip on a fraction of his memories and remembered strawberries at least. The post obliviation parts felt absolutely real; you're so good at setting the scene!
I really liked Donnie; I thought he was a fun character. I could see Dom liking Donnie as a drinking pal too!
Ooh, Mark's found the ring and he's remembering.....ahh, I have a little spark of hope for the next chapter!
Have you ever seen Toy Story 2? I imagine her with Mrs. Potato Head's voice.
I literally have no idea where Donnie came from and if you had read this ages ago, the spelling of his name kept changing throughout the story, lmao!! He is amazing, I'm going to use him again in the future.
Nooo! What a twist!!
It feels like everything that they could have had, has already been ruined by Dom's decisions when they first started going out. How could she do that to him and keep wipin his memories? Poor Mark. No wonder he's so livid.
Such a thrilling chapter with so much tension and conflict; and again, it felt so real! How do you write like that? I'm so envious (but in a good way).
The end of the chapter is so sad, and I'm pleading with Dom not to take away Mark's memories, but instead to leave him with something, even just as a token. Argh. I can't believe she went ahead and did it again!!
This story is pure brilliance.
I'm sorry, what??? This coming from the girl who wrote Erasure and literally broke HPFT's collective hearts?!?! I don't know how you do it or how other people do it, but I have to imagine that it is happening to me. If I am not feeling the emotion that my characters are supposed to be feeling, then it's crap and I'm not writing it.
Yup, took 'em again. It's sort of her gimmick, lol.
Oh goodness, poor Mark!
I mean, I understand why Dom Weasley would be cautious about revealing her secret to him, but eight months is an awfully long time to wait, and I'm not surprised that Mark was a bit miffed to find out about her family in the way that he did! Poor bloke must have felt like such an idiot. He managed his emotions well, though. I loved Teddy's little input at the end of the first paragraph/section :)
This chapter was so brilliant to read; I love how real Dom and Mark's emotions and reactions are throughout it. I thought everything was so well-described and how I would predict an adult muggle to respond to the news of magic. Really well done!
Oh! Cliffhanger that could just undo everything in this chapter. Yikes! I bet she has, hasn't she?
I mean... Telling someone you're a witch is a big deal... And... Well... I mean, I know you've read the whole story by now, but... She had some GOOD reasons for being cautious. xD (Omg, thank you, I love Teddy! I'm planning a novella/novel-length story for later on. He won't exactly be the main character, but he will feature as one of them and I'm super excited!)
I'm very glad you liked it and thought it to be real. It was actually really emotional to write, trying to put myself in Mark's shoes, trying to absorb all this information in and then in Dom's shoes, trying to explain it without scaring her boyfriend off.
Lots of cliffhangers in this one!!!
Well, this was a rollercoaster of a story. You're all happy for them, you think they're going to break up, "she used magic on him!?", they DO break up... you really got all the emotions out and got a TON crammed into a 10,000 word story. Truly impressive.
I love Mark's mother, but only because she isn't my mother or mother-in-law. "RICHARD! Richard, he's getting married! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MANY GRANDCHILDREN! RICHARD!" I mean, that's just comedy gold right there. And pretty much what you hear after being with your spouse for a long time and/or marrying. But it's must better to read it happening to fictional characters than hearing about how there are no grandkids yet in your family.
I had so much hope that they were going to get there in time and that Dominique would still be able to remember everything when her siblings brought Mark to her. I was really hoping for the happy ending here, where he could finally give her that ring and things would work out. To have him recalling important parts of their relationship(s) while she didn't recognize him just put everything on his head. I'm glad that you added in the end bit, because it made me much happier. Leaving it with the possibility of something developing once more and them piecing everything together... well, together is adorable.
I can't believe I just powered through this all in one sitting. Great job and good luck with the Nargles. :)
(The voice in my head for Mark's mother is Mrs. Potato Head from Toy Story 2...)
One sitting? I'm sorry! I had to have a hopeful ending. I like them a lot more than happy endings because it sort of leaves you wondering. However, I am writing a series of one-shots about Dom and Mark after this story.
I am so thrilled that you enjoyed the story even though your eyes probably hurt when you were done reading. Thanks for sticking with it! <3
The confusion was heartbreaking at times when he just knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what. The way he was asking his mother what she knew, trying to get information out of his best friend, and even looking at every strawberry blonde woman who could possibly be mistaken for Dominique Weasley was so heartwrenching. But in contrast, the dream about a strawberry wearing his clothing was hilarious. The firm association his brain has made between Dom and strawberries that cannot be broken, even with her skills, is clearly very strong.
I felt for poor Mark so much in this. Dominique is clearly struggling as well, but she at least has a full recollection of what happened. He has none of this.
I wonder what exactly her siblings have agreed to do. I imagine that it has to be getting them back together somehow, but I have no idea. They all sound like very capable witches and wizards, but when magic is part of your problem it can be hard to magic it all away.
The ending! He does have some solid memories of her tied to the ring. Now they just HAVE to meet again and see what he remembers this time. Anything else would be too heartbreaking. (Why yes, I am now very invested in this.)
Off to the last chapter!
Well, he's been lodging it into his brain for over four years. I figured after all that, SOMETHING had to stick despite the memory spells. (You know, she's really lucky she didn't do permanent damage...)
Oooo, I know you've already read the last chapter, but I just... I'm sorry!!!
I was NOT expecting the plot twist at the start of this. That made my eyebrows shoot up and stare at what I just read for a moment, seeing if it really said what I thought it said. After the cliffhanger ending to the last chapter, I thought about it a bit and figured that she would probably admit to using some sort of magic. I was thinking something more along the lines of a Pepper Up potion rather than obliviating his mind not once but THREE times. I don't blame him for not being able to take it in, I can hardly take it in and I know it's all fictional!
Somehow the stories about how they had "met" all those times were sweet, even knowing that they would all end in her meddling with his brain to make him forget her and everything they had gone through together. When Dominique voiced her belief that it was like fate was stepping in to push them together I kind of had to agree with her, and I don't even believe in that stuff. It just seems like they are surely supposed to be together and that something bigger will make them cross each others' paths until they finally get it right.
The ending made my heart catch. He had something he wanted to tell her before she obliviated him. What was so important!? Why did she have to be so fast at the spell casting!? Will she (*cough* me *cough*) ever figure out what it was!?
You have definitely nailed down the art of getting people to read the next chapter.
I'm sorry... I'm laughing really hard at that first paragraph! XD
Like I said. Anxiety and bad split decisions. That's Dom in a nutshell. I love her, but it's the truth. You would think after three times, she would find a better solution, but she is also bound by her training to uphold the statute of secrecy.
Oh, that's so sweet! I try! <3
After the dramatic ending of the last chapter, I was a bit worried for poor Dominique that her family may have mucked it all up. I'm glad that he went back to finish the dinner with them and to try to get to know them all. That is certainly the adult, mature reaction. And if he was planning on asking them for their blessing to marry Dominique, she should be very grateful for that.
The interaction between them back at her flat was so sweet. LOL to "robes for all occasions" being bathrobes and the like. All in all I will say he handled it pretty well. The veela thing does seem kind of weird when you look at it objectively, so I'm glad he didn't freak out and instead made a joke about her not growing wings when angry. The way you wrote it made it easy to see that he has the potential to be a considerate, reasonable husband in the future.
"Well... Have you ever, you know... Used magic... On me?" - now that's a cliffhanger for the next chapter! A great way to pull readers along with the story.
The translations at the bottom made me glad that I haven't lost all of my very basic French from school.
I had more of a clear image of Mark after I started writing Dom. He is a lot more level headed and calm which really balances her out. He can keep his emotions in check until he sees the situation as a whole which, I think, really makes them a great couple. She easily freaks out and he... Doesn't. <3
*had to use Google translate because she doesn't remember a lick of her French*
Hello! I'm here because of the Nargles.
Let's jump right in - with the number of characters from both canon and fan fiction who have one Muggle parent and one magical parent, you would think you would read about the development of such a relationship among characters in the story. And yet, somehow, it never comes up. It wasn't until I heard about your story that I even realized that there was this big of a gap, but now it seems so obvious that I can't believe I didn't see it before. So for both sparking the realization and for tackling a very under-used but semi-common occurrence I would like to offer you kudos.
I'm not the most into Next Gen fics, but I've read enough to see that there are a lot of tropes and semi-cliches among them. From what I've seen Dominique just doesn't get as much attention or the consensus of others, so it is nice to see you tackling her. From the beginning when she is nervously getting ready, I was able to sympathize with her feelings. Her brushing everything away (even pantsuits, which are sad after the last election) and trying to balance not telling her family something about her new boyfriend and vice versa made her very relateable.
I love that she wanted lots of wine and was not afraid to say so in front of people. If only her siblings could have gotten the hint and been a bit more subtle for her.
This chapter did not end as I expected. I'm looking forward to reading on and seeing how everybody reacts once things are out in the open.
Well hi! You can thank Lost Muse for this story as it was her challenge and prompt and random character that brought it about. I had never written Next-Gen before, was terrified of it, even, and I had absolutely no idea who Dominique Weasley was. And considering her Wiki page is fairly empty, the internet hardly did either. It was quite terrifying to work with such a blank slate! So all of the things you like about this story are literally all because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. XD
Through writing this story, I realized that Dom embodies my anxiety and it became her whole personality. Anxiety and not so smart split decisions.
I'm glad that you enjoyed the first chapter. I'm off to read your other reviews to see if you continued to like the story. XD
Hello! It's BvB time again :)
I adore a good muggle/magic romance, and this has got to be one of the best ones around! Hooked from the first word onwards, it kept my attention throughout, and not once did I have to work too hard to follow what was happening. Every scene is drawn really well and it's easy to imagine the settings and situations.
I love the interactions between Mark and the Weasleys, and the references to Bill's raw steak. But, ooh, VIctoire and Louis were cruising for a bruising by deliberately not hiding their magic when they knew Mark was a muggle! I mean, seriously - what is their problem? Isn't it obvious that Dom's not embarrassed about being a witch or of her family? she's just trying to protect the Statute for goodness sake...
And yikes! It ended on a bit of a cliffhanger. Will things work out okay between Dom and Mark? What did he actually hear them say or see them do? Must submit this review and read on.
Great start to a story!
I had to go looking for the first chapter review so I could respond in order! XDDD
Sadly, Vic and Louis did NOT know Mark was a muggle. One of Dom's little half baked plans, she wanted them to LIKE Mark first before she told them he was a muggle. she did not think it through all the way, hahaha! Writing this branch of the Weasleys was certainly interesting and I hope to discover more of them in the future.
I'm glad you enjoyed! Hopefully, I will answer all of your reviews tonight, hahaha!
*Transferred from HPFF*
Team Werewolf Review for HPFT
I'm finally here to review this like I promised a while ago.
First, I don't know why this story doesn't have a million reviews. Maybe because it draws the reader in so much that you just simply can't put it down.
I loved the way you slowly revealed bits of their past, until the whole story was out in the open. And the dynamics here are so complex. On one hand, Dom is constantly manipulating Mark and then erasing his memory of it, which is like... pretty morally objectionable. She's stealing his own memories away from him. But on the other hand, there's a very positive aspect to it - almost like they're meant to be, since they keep crossing paths and being drawn to one another and falling in love. Dom doesn't want to hurt him, but she can't help but think that maybe this time it will be different. And it almost is, but she jumped to conclusions too early, and Mark reached out too late. And so after three failed attempts, she tries to fix her mistake in the only way she thinks she can. Maybe because of that, I really wanted Mark and Dom to be able to work it out! Like, they were on the same page, just not at the same time. I'm kind of reminded of that line in the Bob Dylan song Tangled up in Blue, "we always did feel the same, we just saw it from a different point of view" which seems to sum up these two quite perfectly :P
The ending is PERFECT. It's heartbreaking because she decided to forget, but at the same time very fitting because she's been tormented by the knowledge of what she did to him for so long, it's like a sort of karmic justice, in a way. It finally turns the tables for the first time which is something I think Mark needed, after he's been constantly manipulated by her for three years, now he's the one with the knowledge of their past. Their history is incredibly complicated, but at least it's more equal now!
And it ends so sadly, how she can't remember, but also incredibly hopeful. Maybe this time it will work out? After all, this time they don't have to go through the bit about her modifying his memory and her being a witch, because he already knows and this time he has time to adjust to it.
Gorgeous story. Really wonderful work ♥
Hi! You can stop by whenever, I'm in no rush. I'll still be here. ^_^
If it had a million reviews, I'd probably die of shock, so that's probably why. To preserve my life. ;)
I don't even know how to respond to this review. It really makes my day and I'm so glad you liked to so much and understood it on such a level. I always thought it's sort of s curse for a magical person to fall in love with a muggle/mortal. It's a very big risk to take, telling something so personal and important, especially when your laws expressly forbid it for the most part. It's walking a very torturous line and I tried to illustrate that here.
A sequel is coming in the form of a series of one-shots if you want to see what happens. The first one should be up sometime in December for the Christmas challenge.
Thank you for reading and I'm really so very, very glad you liked it.
Here for BvB! :D
Okay, so IDK if I mentioned this in my last review (or if football was mentioned last chapter?), but my Dominique is a massive football fan, too! She was introduced to it by a friend and the friend's Muggleborn father, and she's an Arsenal fan, but still, I love football-freak-Dominique headcanons, so like, +5000 on those grounds alone. :P
Wow, Mark is one cool customer. I would not have the kind of composure he does here, particularly at the dinner (and particularly not when Fleur starts speaking French). It's especially heartbreaking knowing that he came to ask permission to marry her - I like him enough that I'm not even hardcore judging him for the permission thing, even though I think it's such a sketchy concept. I can't imagine being put in that position, but the fact that he's willing to keep going with the dinner and then try to talk it out with her is really awesome. (Well. It also might be unconscious practice. IDK.) Mark really has all the right reactions for a Muggle just learning about magic, IMO, which really makes his character come to life.
Dominique stole the show for me, though. Mark's dealing with this now - she's been dealing with it, and it's clearly taken a toll on her. I particularly like the emphasis Dominique is continuing to put on the veela thing - I feel like that's a part of Fleur that kind of got given short shrift in the books because it wasn't really relevant to Harry, but I can totally see Dominique feeling like it makes her not quite human and adding to the anguish and guilt she's feeling surrounding Mark.
Anguish and guilt that, frankly, she probably should be feeling. Not telling him that she's a witch isn't great, but it's totally understandable. Using magic on him without telling him - which, even if I hadn't read ahead, is the clear implication here - is a huge violation of his free will. It's such a hard situation, and while the conversation has to happen, my heart went out to her that just as she was feeling relief, that question got dropped.
Amazing job! <3
I'd have to read back through, I don't remember if it was mentioned, either. I figure if she's hiding it from him then she had to like muggle things, too, because she would have done them with him and football just seemed so natural. It's always mentioned as being akin to quidditch in many aspects, so it's worked in my favor.
Perhaps permission TO marry was the wrong wording. It was more the old fashioned permission to ASK. Not that if her parents said yes, it was a done deal, but more than if her parents said yes, now he had the harder task of hoping that Dom does as well. Mark was always very collected in my head, ready to handle anything. He would have to be, meeting her family for the first time and wanting to marry her, I think. He's not one to make decisions lightly and it took him a while to decide that he WANTED to marry her. Meaning it would take a LOT to make him change his mind.
When I started this (and discovered WHO her parents were) and with the challenge prompt I had, I was like... I would be SO self concious about that if I were her dating a muggle! Like... She is literally part not human. That would freak me out! Like, sure, magic, but creature? Would he be okay with that?
I'm glad you liked this story so much, though! (And thanks for the rating tips when I was still in the process of posting.) :)
Hello again! Back for the BvB :)
Oooo, I love the start of this! You've really nailed Dom's characertization. She has that typical love of fashion that most people seem to give to her, but that's not her whole personality. She seems really smart and level-headed, even if she is slightly anxious. I like the little tid bit about her being trained as an Obliviator; it's a neat detail about Dom's backstory and definitely a cool profession (one that I'd forgotten was even a thing!).
Mark seems great. I'm really interested to get to know him better and see how his personality plays out. I also love the distinction between the three siblings. Louis is great and Vic is too. They all play off each other really well. You definitely nailed the sibling relationships.
You've set up the rest of the story really well here and I'm definitely interested in seeing where you take everything :) Fantastic start and I'll definitely be back again soon to read more :)
Oooh, do you know of some of these stories that you could rec to me? Most of the stories I read where Dom is mentioned or portrayed, she's either out of school and a healer or she's a really brainy bookworm and I don't think I've read any (not that I've had time to go looking, I get really busy) where she is the MC.
Okay, moving on from a slowly developing obsession with this character, OH HAI! I'm so glad you liked this story- it's one of the ones I'm most proud of, I think. It was my first forray into A) next gen and B) character post Hogwarts. Just do me a favor and don't shout? Some poeple get shouty. It's... Scary. XD
I do hope to see you back and until then, thank you for the review and happy reading!
Well, this was addictive. I'm reviewing the first chapter, but I read the second one immediately, and then I checked AO3 to see if there was more there, and read those chapters, and now I just want more and am super disappointed that more doesn't seem to exist anywhere else. Holy shit.
You nailed this. I was pulled in as soon as I read the story summary - it's such a difficult and uncomfortable topic, because yeah, I can see how using magic to deal with this sort of situation could be appealing... especially with having to keep the wizarding world secret, so it's this uncomfortable and weird combination of deeply personal and actual legal policy.
And you didn't disappoint. On one hand, I didn't understand why Dominique wouldn't at least warn her family that Mark was a Muggle, even if she didn't want to tell him that she was a witch yet. It seems like playing with fire. At the same time, as the chapter unfolded, I started to understand why. She's clearly in a bit of a screwed up headspace in general, and people in that state don't always make the best decisions in the world, even when they seem obvious to outsiders.
A lot of what you did here was subtle, too - you didn't go for the flashy magic, you went with things like Teddy's hair being a weird color and Dominique's anxiety being even more elevated than usual because she's not even really quite human. I liked that Mark's reaction wasn't over the top, either - it made a lot of sense to me, given the context, and it says a lot about how much he cares about her.
Ahhhh this is so good, why is the rest not up yet? :P Great job!
(Archive admin note: the rating is fine as is for these two chapters, but once you say that she's used memory charms on him multiple times, you'll need to bump the rating to M and add a 'Domestic Abuse' advisory. :))
Really? Domestic Abuse? Well, I'm glad I discovered that before posting the next chapter. It's been slow going transferring stuff over because of challenges, otherwise it would all be here. It is only a 5 chapter short story, but there is a "sequel" which will be a collection of one shots eventually, little snippets taken from their lives, that does have at least one story up called I Don't Remember.
I'm very ridiculously flattered that you liked it so much, especially since you're one of the people I read where my jaw just falls on the floor and I beg for autographed OF when it's published, but I digress... Just put the next chapter into the queue now and and went ahead and bumped up my rating. :(
But, I'm really super glad you liked it and if you want to follow along with the sequel of one shots, you can be just as shouty as Rose. (She got really scary when she read it...)
Thanks so much for the review, Bran!