This story was intriguing albeit a bit confusing. One angle you chose that I found interesting was Sirius’s understanding of the events of the meeting with Peter. I always thought he was very clear of the truth (indeed the only person in the wizarding world that was clear of the truth) but in this story in seems that he, while unsure, thinks he had killed Peter because the aurors told him his wand recorded it. Then I began to think about it. Did he truly believe that he killed Peter or was it that the influence of Azkaban impacting his psyche?
The letter are so varied from depth of despair to a simple I miss you and then that last letter-a birthday card t Lily. Well, you can truly see him slipping into the madness that we get a glimpse at our first meeting in the Shrieking Shack.
OMG Isobel! This was hauntingly beautiful! I'm still reeling from the emotions that I can only imagine Sirius is dealing with while being a prisoner. And being sent to isolation on top of it. I can't even...
The way you weave the words together to tell the story and your attention to the subtle details is WOW. From the names of the muggles killed, to the blood on the wall and him blaming himself, yet still not sure he did it and trying to figure it out while writing letters to Remus that he can't send is too much. And when you add in that he sent a birthday card to Lily, please excuse me while I mop up the puddle of emotions left on the floor.
I can see how he became the Sirius we met in Prisoner of Azkaban, spending twelve years in prison for a crime that you think you committed but aren't one hundred percent sure you actually did would drive anyone into insanity I imagine.
If you can't already tell by the above rambling, I really did love this and wish there was more to the story like maybe Remus doing the same thing but in letters he knows Sirius will never receive? Please? :D
Hey! I had some free time, so I figured I'd start to transfer over a few of my CTF reviews :)
Heartbreaking is pretty much the only word I can think of to describe this. You basically took my heart, ripped it out of my chest packaged it up, and chucked it across the ocean. That probably would have been less painful than this. In a good way, of course.
The raw emotions in this were so powerful that I found myself blinking back tears more than a few times. Sirius's time in Azkaban is something that I try not to think about too much because it hurts a lot. And you made it all that and then some.
I'm going to be honest, I did not read the story shell before reading the story and the whole time I was hoping that it'd be a Wolfstar piece and boy howdy was I not disappointed! I love that I was able to tell exactly who he was writing to without you ever having to say it. That alone makes this an amazing story in my opinion and the rest of it is just a cherry on top.
The structure of this is also so well done. You knew exactly when to break things off and move onto the next section. And each part hurt more than the last. It was all just so beautiful and so painful at the same time.
So, sorry if this was completely rambling and incomprehensible, I'm super tired. TL;DR: I love this story and you for writing it!
*transferred from HPFF*
I’m here for CTF, and to brighten your day I hope!
“These are the ramblings of a madman.” Ooh, I’m interested already!
Holy moly this description is spine-chilling! I’m assuming this is Azkaban?
Wow Sirius’ musings -if i may call them that- are deep!
Come on Sirius! Finish this! You aren’t a madman!
This is such a good story Isobel! I’m like, rooting for Sirius so hard. Surely he knows that all people write letters with no intended recipient, or with a recipient but no intention of sending it.
Ooh, I wish that Sirius HAD completed the last sentence of his letter as he had intended to write it.
Thalia Macmillan? Isn’t that the surname of a Hufflepuff who was at Hogwarts with the trio? One of her relatives must have been Ernie’s parents. Ooh. Ernie wasn’t so innocent then.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I review as I read so you’re getting my mostly unfiltered thought on this.
And wouldn’t the Ministry want someone unaffiliated with either side of the war to handle the post? I mean, wouldn’t they want to do that to make sure that no orders from the DE were sent through to those who could utilise and put in motion those orders?
I wouldn’t say a a three word phrase could make a letter, but hey, everyone has different ideas.
Yo slushies! But its so sad that they freeze in the winter, you would think that there would be room in the budget for blankets for the prisoners of Azkaban.
Aww who is Sirius writing his latest letter to? This is so sad! Who started cutting up onions near me?
Yo Sirius, nice memory of anniversaries! Ten years since the marauders first christmas :(.
Oh thats sad. Add creepy. I cant imagine ever writing in my own blood, especially writing the names of my own victims. It reminds me of Jacques Sauniere from the Da Vinci Code, but I digress.
No Sirius you have to care!
No what happened to the recipient?!
This is such a good story, it’s so deep and incredibly moving. Thank you for writing it.
I'm here for the Chalices Review Spree!
Oh, poor Sirius... this was so sad... it always breaks my heart thinking that he spent twelve years in Azkaban, with everyone believing him a traitor and a murderer...
I loved all the emotions that ran through this, and the idea that he wrote these letters to pull out all his thoughts and feelings... I wish he'd added a recipient... I wish Remus knew... but I found sort of sweet that he wanted to protect their secret love and didn't put his name because of that...
I found it curious that he truly believed that he killed Peter. And the detail of his last spell being an Avada Kedavra... it must've come as a big shock to see Wormtail on that newspaper article some years later, but that's not important right now...
The ending... the birthday card for Lily... oh, that was so heartbreaking! *cries*
I loved this. I loved the descriptions of the prison, I loved Sirius' train of thought, I loved all the details of his previous life, the memories of the Marauders and of Regulus and of everything else. It was so painful, but so beautifully done! Such a great story!
*Transferred from HPFF*
although Maximum Security attracts a higher concentration of Dementors, it is nestled in the heart of the prison, protected from the elements. -- Yes, always look on the bright side, Sirius :P
I'd never considered how difficult it would be for Sirius to see his former friends coming in to Azkaban bringing in the prisoners - Aurors with whom he used to be on the same side, and whom he was working with to send Death Eaters to Azkaban. And now everything is all backwards. That must be so jarring.
Hahaha, I love the idea that Remus engineered a prank all on his own and ended up getting James and Sirius in trouble for it. I've always thought Remus was the mastermind behind all of their best pranks. You have to be a good planner to come up with the really good ones :P
Gah, Sirius' letter to Remus is breaking my heart. This seems to be a habit of your stories :( But seriously, the way he says he should be angry but only feels love for him... wah. So sad. Especially because these letters never reach Remus, without a name or address. It seems like Sirius is just writing them because he needs to get the words out, and that's important whether or not the words are actually heard.
It's super sad too how he keeps remembering all these good old times with his friends, and the knowledge that the group fell apart as it did and ended up destroying one another. Like, he hates Peter, and in that instant wanted to kill him, but in Azkaban he keeps drifting back to thinking about being friends with him. And when Sirius is in isolation - although you don't mention the Dementors specifically there and taking good memories away, but in this section I realized Sirius actually thinks he killed Peter. And I found myself wondering if he can't remember the truth after so long stuck in Azkaban, or whether he thinks he figuratively killed Peter, because who Peter was as a teenager is not the same person who Sirius fought with the day after Halloween. interesting thought.
WRITING A LETTER TO LILY. *sobs* this is too much. That ending is so sad. But once again you've written such a beautiful story. Really well done.