Hey there, back again!
Aww, back to relatable Posy for me lol. That sounds like a nightmare aha. Nice reward for it though, and that butterbear ice-cream does sound delicious.
Oh dear, Lucius Malfoy. That’s never a good sign. I guess he probably wants to discuss his wife's actions from the other night. Poor Posy. Aha, that’s a funny scene, the one with the books, I love these little bits and pieces you put in, it really makes the story come alive.
Oh wow, it’s interesting to see him so young, probably just coming into power and favour with the dark lord. He seems to know a lot about Regulus though, which is interesting as well. I feel sorry for Posy though, she’s so sure of Regulus.
Wow. That was a turn of events, I wonder what this will do for her relationship with her brother? Or what Malfoy will do now that she didn’t offer him forward. Also, why did he want to find out about her brother? This chapter was really intriguing and I’m looking forward to finding out more! :)
Hey there, back again! :)
Hmm, gut feelings tend to be right but I wonder if she is? Maybe a little bit right but that’s not the full story? Also, for how concerned she sounds that Tibs could have been recruited long before he was supposed to be, I feel like she’d be jealous more than anything.
Oooh, fun! I’d love to live in a castle, it’d be so exciting, proven here by the secret passageways. Nice addition to the story.
This is an interesting dynamic, normally it’s the father who’s the head and in charge, but I feel like it’s Posy’s mother here. Although maybe that’s just because Posy is a girl since he is still sat at the head of the table. I love this breakfast scene, it’s so interesting finding out more about her family and the way she interacts with them. She is such a tactical thinker, everything is focused on her ambition and while it’s not the best ambition to have, it’s still kind of admirable.
Ah, this is something I can relate to, a distaste in dress shopping (or just shopping in general lol). It must be frustrating though, having to stick to traditions and not be able to do something just because it’s seen as unladylike, that would also drive me up the wall. I can see how that would leave Posy wondering if her family love her, but I think her mum just wants what she thinks is best for her, which sounds like to me. Although if I were Posy I’d probably feel the same way.
Another great chapter, I’m looking forward to the next one (and dreading it but that’s because it’s the last one up so I’ll not have anything to read until you update :P).
Hey there, figured I’d carry on reading and see what happens next! :)
Yeah, Posy’s name does seem an odd choice for a pureblood family, especially since they take such pride in their surname, but perhaps her mother just really liked it.
I’ve never been to a wake but I feel like this one is being used as a way of keeping up appearance and social status, which I feel isn’t the norm, well except for purebloods lol.
Well Rosy has more guts/sympathy than me, I think I’d be too scared to enter the room if I heard someone crying in case I just made it worse. But she seems like she can handle it. I love this side of Walburga, I know they were devoted to the dark lord but she was still his mother, and it must have hurt for him to leave. I think you’ve portrayed that extremely well here.
I like how you’re establishing this group, as I said in muggle studies, I feel like they’re an interesting group and I’m looking forward to seeing what they get up to, except for Regulus if you're keeping this canon :( . Hmm, I keep trying to work out if there’s an order or a leader kind of thing in the group but I don’t feel like there is, but the fact that allied Tibs and Regulus are better than Posy and Wal is interesting.
Wow, I was curious as to what plan he had thought up of but I’m surprised at this. Although I see now why he had to keep it quiet. It is a pretty genius plan though, and I’m glad his mother is getting better.
Envy, wow, that is something else. The poor women is dying and she feel’s envy, oh dear. I feel like her desire to be a death eater and impress the dark lord is going to cause her some problems further down the line. Hmm, I guess I’ll have to keep reading to see what happens! :)
Hey there, back again, hope you’re having a great day! :)
This is such a hard concept to grasp, having read the Harry Potter books and them being from Harry’s P.O.V. Reading the first line I automatically thought death eaters/dark wizards. It’s not. It’s a great idea, I just clearly haven’t read enough stories from people P.O.V who think like that, but I’m glad that’s changing with this story!
Ah, yeah, okay, so I’m glad I read muggle studies before as that kind of explains this a little bit, otherwise I think I’d be confused. But as it’s a prologue that’s a good thing cause it would force me to keep on reading haha.
This is such an interesting idea, I love how you’ve included canon characters but it’s from the P.O.V of an OC, I can’t wait to see how you develop her character! :)
I just popped in to clear my thread and noticed that I never responded to finishing your review. I'm glad I clicked because SURPRISE! It was still sitting in my google docs. Without further ado, here's your review:
What a terrible child, not throwing a proper tantrum when it was needed. Monstrous creatures, children. Yeah, I wouldn't mention it or The Three Broomsticks might become banned. What a boring Hogsmeade trip that would be then. You know she'd never be allowed in Hog's Head. Where would she butterbeer up? Based on my butterbeer experience (90% sure that's a wizard rock band) cold butterbeer is delicious!
While her mother treats her coldly (ordering her to get the ice creams was a bit snotty seemingin my mind) I like that Aviana is nice enough to reward her for going to get the ice cream. It's not a real reward, of course, but it was still nice in my mind. I'm a bit razzle dazzled by how odd the niceness was and apparently so was Posy.
OOOh, what's going on with Fortescue and her mother! I'm curious. Obviously my mind first jumps to some passionate affair between them, but he might just be promoting his business or something equally mundane. I'm going with the affair.
Poor Posy. Will her mother let her get another ice cream before they go home? Somehow I doubt it.
Based on her mother's reactions to the after eights I'm now positive there's some eyebrow wiggling to be had.
Lucius is giving me bad vibes, but maybe that's my bias against him.
I think autocorrect got you. It says a book careers by her head and I'm 90% sure it's meant to be careens. I'm snickering a bit that Lucius got whacked upside the head though.
AH! THERE'S THE TITLE! Why does that make me so giddy?
LUCIUS MALFOY YOU SNAKE! YOU SLIPPERY EVIL LITTLE SNAKE.
There's something so disheartening about losing a review. *endless sobs*
I feel bad for Posy for worrying so much over Tibs. And Tibs for delaying a response to her. Obviously he should drop everything and reply. Also that's such a horrible reason to take Muggle Studies! To use it against him? Dang, you write dark characters. I never even thought of that.
Can I just say that if I lived somewhere with secret passages I'd literally die/never leave. That's my dream. I'm building a house when I move back so I'll put it on my list and see if I can make it happen!
I like how Posy immediately becomes so formal around her parents. I think that's what I'd expect, but I don't think it's a dialogue change that I would have remembered to put in if I'd been the one writing it.
"she asks every Sunday: when he and his wife Rue will be adding a child to our family." Literally my mother-in-law. Oh, and she wants me to use her maiden name as a middle name for my unborn, unmade child. It's a terrible one too. I'll pm it to you at some point so you can snort. Well, I snort. I don't know if you would.
"Valerian Augustus Philemon Hitchens"
I'm dying at how good you are with pureblood names. August 13th is my favorite day. Perfect time to RSVP. (it's my birthday)
I love the pureblood "hot issues" we get to face in this chapter, like where to buy robes at and how ghastly Ophelia's dress robes were. How dare she. How could he hate the feel of velvet? It's so velvety! I'd dance with Ophelia all night.
I agree with Father. Dang, Posy! That was a politician's answer! And on the fly like that!
I do see how you could classify it as a filler chapter, but I think a lot happened. We've got development on the Tibs front, development on the Posy's character front, and definitely a lot of development on the Hitchens front. I feel like it really introduced us to a lot of the characters in a more intimate way than our brief glimpses of them. I feel like we get plenty of distinction with each of the characters (especially the wives). I think you've put a very unique voice into pureblood families that I've never read before so definitely don't worry about cliche. I think a lot of readers will enjoy these breakfast conversations because it's so mundane, but in a refreshing way. If it was nonstop action I'd never be able to catch my breath and I wouldn't believe the characters.
I love the new chapter summary. We get insight into all of the characters and their endgames, but we also get a taste of what this world will be like! I think it's a solid one!
Can't wait to review the next chapter!
Yes! This is exactly the type of story I've been looking for! I've been dying to read something from the Death Eaters' POV. With them as the protagonists instead of the antagonists. I'm super excited for this story.
I really love the MC, Posy. She seems so normal, and speaks of the Mudbloods and Blood-traitors like they're the bad guys, and it almost makes you feel like they are the bad guys. I'm here like, "yeah! Those damn Mudbloods!" hahaha.
That opening line is absolutely fantastic. One of the best opening lines I've read in fic. It draws you in immediately and makes you need to read more.
I'm really interested to see where this all goes, and if she does end up becoming the only other female Death Eater at that time. I love that she's like, "I'm not going to be some subservient wife! I'm going to be feared and respected dammit!" She's a strong, independent woman, who don't need no man. :p
But yeah, this was a great opening chapter. I'm definitely going to continue on with this, because like I said, I've been craving a story like this.
Congrats on finishing your chapter last night!! I'm super thrilled I've had a chance to read this!! I'll be back. <33
WHY DID I NOT IMMEDIATELY COME BACK I MEANT TO I MEANT TO. I Love the way you write and that prologue was to die for. Also I love the chapter title.
Dionysus is an interesting contrast to Posy on the name front and I especially love the bit about the poor house elves. Just the entire characterization of him we get a glance at plus the hypocrisy of his policy and her subsequent resentment. Although to be fair at an event like that kids should probably take it easy on those sort of hedonistic pleasures.
Libraries are always good hiding places. Only the most interesting people hide out there. Like Mrs. Black. I like that Walburga is grieving over the future loss of Sirius. I like that she's so distraught. She should be! This scene redeems her a bit in my eyes. Despite what she's done to him, she's mourning for him in her own way. I feel like you've done a really thorough job of leaving her bereft and I so genuinely feel her pain. I think for her Sirius put her in a very hard position of choosing between what she believed was fundamentally right and her own family. To support him would be to betray herself.
I'm a little terrified of what this alternative to house elves might be, but also curious. I hope it's not inferi or something equally dark. Dear heaven, nevermind. It's as bad as I thought. REALLY? Muggles trapped with an unbreakable? I get that he's desperate, but yikes.
There's this major part of me that wants a redemption (everyone loves a redemption story), but I'm in love with this dark side of magic and the envy she has and the desire to be accepted. I love everything about the inner turmoil you throw me into when I read this.
I think all of the characters are interesting and you're fleshing them out in a very natural way that holds my attention. I do love Tibs (maybe love to hate?) because he's so far off the reservation but in a totally understandable way. I'm not saying I'd enslave muggles for my mom...but I'm not definitively ruling it out. He's a grief driven kid with some jacked up morals mixed with a pinch of desperation. I get it. I like it. We get a hint of Posy's interest in Sirius and I'm interested in what's cracking there. I know you said it was unrequited, but I've got a soft spot for my boy so I'm being nosy.
Can’t wait for the next chapter!
Oh, Posy, honey, you are missing the point in your envy. Doesn't she get that Tib's mother is dying? How can she be envious of him when he's going through something so terrible? As they say, "she needs to straighten out her priorities."I dig that, though. She's a character was a HUGE about to learn, and I'm really eager to see if, when, and how she learns it.
Also, this plan of Tib's is insane. But then, they obviously don't realize that Muggles are, ya know, PEOPLE.
I really liked how you captured the Blacks, and the idea of Walburga as an alcoholic feels so right to me. Also, our gang's deliberation over how to escape the wake in a way that won't attract any negative attention was perfectly pure-blood and slytherin-y and I loved it. You're capturing a very intricate, nuanced take on that Sacred 28/Death Eater sort of culture, it's very cool to read.
I'm really interested to see where this is gonna go, it's great so far!
Ooooooh, I like this! And can't say that I exactly like Posy, with all the blood purity stuff, but she's enticingly slytherin. I admire her for being steadfastly ambitious even though that isn't what people what from her. She's a rebel in her own way.
Our gang is Posy, Tiberius, Regulus, and Walden - interesting that (at least so far) none of her close friends appear to be girls. I can't remember if the summary says who the love interest is and now I super curious to find out. I don't think it's Walden, because she talks about him like a brother more than anything. My money is on Regulus. Given how Reg's story ends, I am curious how Posy's view of things will change during this story.
This prologue has definitely caught my interest, and your writing is fab as always!
Okay. I wasn't going to mention it, but I have to. When I read the story summary I started like rubbing my hands like that supervillain baby (I'll tweet you the meme and you'll be like whaaat) because WOW it sounds so good already. I'm typing this before I've even actually read the prologue either.
YOU HOOKED THE READER SO FAST WITH "In the end, no-one mourns the wicked." Like that could have been the entire prologue and I'd just be sitting here nodding.
It's bizarre, but also profound that they consider her mudblood (sobs at the word) ancestor the villain. The wicked. It's profound to me in that I don't think any actual "bad guy" really thinks they are the bad guys. Everyone seems to think they are on the right side of history. And then in contrast with Aurelius.
WHAT IS GOING ON AND WHY AM I SO INVESTED IN THIS FAMILY DRAMA ALREADY. Words like betrayal and selfish are so good for this too. I think a lot of writers when focusing on the pureblood families tend to lean towards words like rebellion when describing characters like Sirius, but I don't think that properly expresses the gravity of the situation. The depth of the betrayal of their basic fundamental beliefs.
I'm very interested in Tibs and this dynamic here. I can't wait for more expansion on them. Perfect match? Are we going to see some nudged marriage concepts? I love that.
This idolization of Bellatrix is bizarre and fascinating and definitely something I've never read before. Wow, the impact of the last line. Wow, wow, wow.
I've never read anything like this entire story and are you ready to post more? You should totally post more.