And we come to the end of this story. The reviews are happy in their new home!
OK, so I stand corrected. I guess you can kill a boggart. And apparently it's a soul-numbingly terrible thing to behold.
James and Dann do some excellent, on-their-feet thinking to bluff their way out of trouble with James's father. And it seems like James manages to eke a new career out of the situation, as well. I'm thinking maybe it would have been smarter of him to get away from Dann while his father was around to protect him. I really get the feeling that she's not trustworthy. Also kind of menacing.
But, she wants to partner up with James, at least to keep an eye on him until they have their stories straight. Since you're out of words, I guess we roll with it!
pix, I've said it several times already but I'll say it again: this story was so unique and so ambitious! I am doing a very respectful slow clap for your ability to pull something like this off. It's a really impressive piece of work to add to your already amazing catalog!
I'm very pleased to have gotten the first review here and in the old place. I do love a matched set!
Ooh, ooh, ooohhh! More cleverness! pix, you have written a page-turner here! Granted, it's only a dozen pages long or so, but I'm turning them as fast as I can...
A "large, green monster-like thing... wearing a tutu." Whatever works, I guess.
Another portkey. Whoever is pulling the strings in this mystery is definitely paranoid. They're not going to make it too easy to get to them.
Or maybe they are. It seems like they portkeyed right back to the museum. So is this the real Matt this time? Seems like it probably is, based on Dann's reaction to him. And he's not going to let them get out of this situation if he can help it. Hmmnn... so Dann has some dark secrets, too.
Ha! James is going to turn the boggart loose on Matt! Brilliant!
I really like this story. It's an awesome little whodunit where nobody is exactly what they seem. You've done a fantastic job constructing this!
Such progress! Where will he stop???
Wow, such a clever switcharoo at the end! I really did believe for a while there that James had killed Harry. I sort of wanted to mourn with him.
A few more details leak out in this one. James is obviously a pretty well-known thief, and now Dann knows who he is.
I guess a Basilisk fang can't kill a boggart, which probably makes sense because a boggart doesn't have an actual body. Or something like that. At any rate, it worked for me.
So where are they and who brought them here? Was the boggart just a test to see how they would react without endangering the person they should really be worried about? We have more info, but still so many questions...
Nicely written! I still think this is an amazing challenge you've undertaken and you're doing really well with it!
Here come the rest of them...
Wha, wha, whaaa? pix, you threw me for a loop here! Oh, yeah, also I'm tagging you from Review Tag.
Well, the plan was certainly ambitious. So after Dann takes James's wand, she levitates him across a museum, over a T-Rex skeleton, underneath the lights and down to the display case. I'm so incredibly tempted to finish that sentence with "nothing but net!" Actually, I guess I just did.
Poor James doesn't really have much choice but to comply, I suppose. If either of them is to survive, he needs to get that basilisk tooth. I was a little confused as to how he transfigured the replacement without his wand. Maybe that was done before she levitated him. I think out of the three chapters you've written so far, the 500 word limitation hindered you the most in this one. There were small things that felt like they would have benefited from another sentence or so of explanation, but you didn't have the words to spare. Again, I stand in awe of the the challenge you've taken on here.
Wow, so this wasn't just a wizarding relic that had somehow made its way into muggle hands. It seems that some magical person had put it there quite deliberately, and also taken steps to protect it.
The ending just made my head spin with anxieties and questions. It seems like this whole job was a set-up from the beginning. And the mysterious Matt may have been the one who did the setting. You realize this counts as a cliff-hanger, right? When you hit the next cliff-hanger in Detox, I don't want to hear any guff from you! :p
Excellent job! I'm really not kidding about how impressed I am by how well you're doing with this very difficult project.
See the reviews march to their happy new home!
Having the story broken into such bite-sized chunks makes for a really interesting reader experience. I feel like I have to pay such close attention to every single thing about it because anything could be a critical detail. You have so few words to work with that I can't imagine you're able to let a single word go to waste. I'm so very impressed by what you're doing here, it's so ambitious. Says the super-wordy guy who writes 7,000 word chapters all the time...
So we now have a new name to work with. The lady ramming her wand up James's nose seems to be Dann, and she's obviously very concerned about this Matt person, even though it's possible that Matt betrayed her. Is she an Auror, perhaps? At any rate, it seems like the situation has become James's problem in a major way.
I like the idea of this shadowy person or persons who seem to be pulling the strings behind both James's mission and the disappearance of Dann's partner. We know next to nothing about them, but the sense of menace is definitely there!
And then you throw even more plot twists our way! What on earth is a Basilisk fang doing in a display case in a muggle history museum? Somebody obviously wants it rather badly, and there are only a few uses for such an item that couldn't be accomplished much more easily with conventional means. Gah, my brain is spinning about a mile a minute over here!
Very nicely written! I couldn't find a thing wrong with it. This is such a neat idea!
Hi, pix! More reviews, on the move!
Yay! Another original work of pix. You're so prolific! I'm envious.
You've got the start of a great mystery here, no doubt about it. What has James gotten himself messed up in? Seems like some sort of ring of organized thieves, but first impressions could be deceiving. Something apparently went wrong and now he's trying to recover from it. Assuming the identity of this Matt person must be the first step. I'm curious where the wand came from, since Polyjuice Potion doesn't normally bestow another person's possessions upon the user. No, I think there's more interesting magic at work here.
You created an awesome sense of mystery and did it in a very compact and efficient way. And now I will stop myself before this review becomes disproportionate to the chapter. Nice job!