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Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2017 11:34 PM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Last Five Years Chapter: Still Hurting

Hello Claire! 

 

I'm here for our review swap! I thought I'd take a look at this because I love some good angst and minor characters! 

 

OMG. The poor main character (I didn't see her name anywhere). That's horrible to come home and be just absolutely blindsided like that. It sounds as if she wasn't expecting this in the least. I feel like a lot of the time when relationships end, looking back retrsopectively, people are able to see the signs. I wonder if that will be the case with her. 

 

I do wonder why Blaise chose to leave this way. Why not talk things through or at least leave a letter? I imagine that maybe this is something you'll be exploring in future chapters.

 

You did a great job of writing the shock and anger that comes after a huge surprise like this. I thought the main characters reaction and compulsion to smash and throw things fit. 

 

I really felt by the end of  this like I wanted to give her a hug. Poor thing. I have no idea what to expect in upcoming chapters because your summary makes me wonder if they at some point reconcile. Let me know when the next chapters up! I'm curious to see where it goes! 

 

Good job! 

 

~Kaitlin



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2017 08:56 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Last Five Years Chapter: Still Hurting

Hello! Here reviewing for CTF!

I'm not familiar with The Last Five Years, unfortunately, but I really liked readig this anyway.

I loved how you started with that sense of mistery and uneasiness, the little details of the keys and the books missing, her carefulness as she moved into the house... so well done.

The feeling of emptiness and coldness were so strong, and the moment when she saw the letter was really powerful, I really felt so bad for her, it was such a sad moment.

All of her reactions were so believable and you wrote them so effectively, too. The disbelief at first, then the panic as the truth sank in, the denial as she searched all the drawers for a trace of him, finally the rage when she's faced with the ring. Her throwing everything across the room and then finally collapsing on the ground was another powerful and completely believable way to show all her shock and pain and you really made it feel real with your beautiful writing. It was heartbreaking, but so good.

I'm left with so many questions now. I want to know about her past with Blaise, how they met, how they fell in love, how their relationship got damaged till the point we see here... but I guess I'll find out when a new chapter comes up. Keep up the good work!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2017 05:10 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:The Last Five Years Chapter: Still Hurting

Hufflepuff CtF Review

 

What a cool idea for a fic! I love that it is both fan fic for HP and a kind of tribute to The Last Five Years. =)

 

I don’t know the show super well, so I am curious how literally you followed the structure. Like, are the time jumps arranged in a similar fashion? Do the issues the characters face parallel each other?

 

I wonder why they use keys instead of wands, as that is something you specifically brought attention to.

 

It is also cool to have the Last Five Year aspect of this told in writing, as we get new perspective details that don’t come through in the show. I particularly like how she wonders if there were more books on the shelf before. It really says a lot, speaking to the uncertainty of the situation in the face of the certainty of it - she knows that she is gone, but she does not know just how much that will affect.

 

Wait, what’s this time change she refers to? Is this a literal time travel fic?? Or is she traveling with some sort of jet lag?

 

I like how you refer to them simply as “he” and “she.” Something about that tes into the play for me really well, with the simplicity of two characters, one male, one female.

 

We don’t really know anything about the OC at this point (not even her name) so it is kind of hard to care about how, but you made her pain as she searched through the drawers very poignant.

 

It really hurts me to see her shouting at not-there-Blaise that she wasn’t the problem, therefore he shouldn’t have left her. Even though we don’t know anything about their problems yet, that really gets to me because it says that she truly thought he was deeply at fault within their relationship, yet she wouldn’t leave him to allow either of them to have better. Though there’s a lot we don’t know yet, we know this relationship had some deep issues, and that is hinted at here.

 

The dropping of the jewelry box and everything spilling across the floor is very powerful imagery.

 

I really like this story so far! You haven’t yet made me feel very sympathetic for either of the characters or their relationship, but I have no doubt that you will be able to achieve that in future chapters and leave me just as torn as the characters =)

 

I hope you write more!

 

Sam.



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 02 Feb 2017 04:37 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Last Five Years Chapter: Still Hurting

Hi, Clair!

 Holly informed we would be writing mates on the forums. So I stopped by to say hello.

I've never read your stories, right? So I'm so excited to have a chance to read your story.

 

As we know Blaise's mother had many men and they died mysteriously, your story is very persuasive. He might have felt bored with her or found the other girl? Did they fight over something seriously? So heart breaking for her.

 

The descriptions how she came home and found he had gone forever are awesome. The process to be near his writing desk after she noticed something was missing made me hold my breath. To see his wedding ring left was so shocking for her. Both her state in a panic and her mind movement are well written and carefully. It is lonely that she couldn't find his clothes at all. The last scene, she placed her rings down in the box, is very sad but very beautiful.

 

All your descriptions are incredibly wonderful.I'm so thrilled with you as a co-writer in this month. :)

 

Kenny

 



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