Hi, I'm here for the CDMC, round #3
First, I want to say you've done a great job with the friendship of these two cousins. Their interactions are hilarious and the dialogue is spot-on.
Now, on the chapter itself. How naive Victorie and Freddie are to think that the headmaster doesn’t realize who does (and doesn’t) get on the train. They think they’ll just slip right in. . . and I bet Professor didn’t really have to ask them where they were. He probably already knew (or I hope he would have already contacted their parents since they would have been awol for over eight hours.)
Freddie’s analysis of Teddy’s carnal desires was matter-of-fact which made it hilarious. He was a bit funny in his beliefs in that one moment he’s fine with Teddy thinking such things (and potentially doing) but the next is willing to receive detention to be chivalrous and overprotective. It also clues us to the fact that Victorie was hilarious about the boy, but now that Freddie has opened her eyes up to the possibilities. . . I predict she’ll be rather red-faced in the future.
Also the introduction of not only one but two girls for Freddie-definitely the beginning of love triangle. I only wonder which witch will have her heart broken at the end.
Back for your request! :D
Oops... poor Fred and Juliet... :/ I feel like Wendy could've pretended it didn't happen, though, couldn't she? At least she didn't see what Victoire saw... Poor Victoire as well, it's the kind of thing that scars you... :P (Although she was a tiny bit overdramatic about it)
I'm also wondering if Juliet is not too far off about Lexi liking Fred? (If you've mentioned this before forgive me, I must have forgotten...) She surely sounded a bit jealous in the previous chapter, when she was visiting in the Hospital Wing.
I always love the Room of Requirements! :D Of course, they would use it to follow Quidditch, is there anything more important after all? *rolls eyes*
Ah, Teddy!!! <3 I'd really love to see him again! :) I love how frustrated he is with Victoire constantly putting herself in dangerous situations :P You can tell he cares a lot! <3
I'm also very curious about Gallaghan now, he seems a nice guy! :)
Nice work as always! Thank you for stopping by my thread! ;)
Hey, Branwen! I'm back for your request! (Sorry for the lateness...)
It quickly became apparent that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Victoire, at least not beyond the admittedly questionable decision she'd made to seek out a banshee in the Forbidden Forest. I love this opening line, it made me chuckle, so good! :D
It's so sweet (and also so typical :P) that Victoire wouldn't want to leave her cousin's side, at the cost of being recovered in the Hospital Wing herself ;) The way all adults were sort of dismissive of her was so amusing, and I love how Goldstein can communicate with a glance! It's so clear that they are all very used to the Weasley cousins' antics! :D
I'm still not totally sure how I feel about Juliet and her relationship with Fred... I find her kind of annoying, but it might be just that I'm biased because I'm seeing things through Victoire's not exactly reliable eyes... so maybe I'm being unfair to her, but I don't know... :P
In any case, it's good to see that Fred recovered! And I'm mostly relieved that neither was punished for what happened (although they probably would've deserved it... but I guess Anthony is right, risking their lives and then being stuck in the Hospital Wing for almost a week is punishment enough! :P) "If you should find any additional information - through whatever means - I'd be interested to see it." Okay, this surprised me a little, it's almost as if Professor Goldstein is inciting Victoire to do more mischief? Or maybe he just knows that he's not going to stop her anyway, so he might as well take advantage of it? It's very Ravenclaw-y, in any case. Knowledge before anything. :P It's an interesting trait to our Professor! :D
Either there was a remarkable coincidence between her encounter with the banshee on the syllabus or Goldstein had used it as inspiration to change his lesson plans, I'm inclined to believe the second... ;)
Great chapter as always! I'll be back soon! :D
Howdy! And boooooo!
I know it's all in the name of realism, but I was one hundred percent for #frexy. Low-Risk Juliet is here to stay. And apparently thirsty. Am I crude? Maybe. But I loved the getting blown comment from Micah.
Anyway the time issues and the friction (independent of unrequited feelings) are issues that everyone has to go through and I'm glad you chose to put the spotlight on them this chapter as it's not just realistic, it's a nice change of pace from the combat being with professors and titular conduct.
I am wondering if Gallagher is becoming an official member of the crew. I guess maybe he already was, but we didn't haven't had a whole lot of direct encounters with him before the last couple of chapters that seem to integrate him more - especially with the animagus plot.
As you noted at the top of the chapter though, it's weird seeing Fred as the clueless one (though he's not entirely clueless because he got the vibes) getting talked to about love topics by Victoire of all people. I guess it makes more sense to her because she's on the other side of it, but she does do a pretty good job of prodding him to reach the conclusion his vibes are giving him and to help him with how he should deal with the situation with Lexy.
I'm sorry the story is done for now, but hope there's more to come soon!
omg +1000, crude fits so well here and is def warranted hahaha
fred is definitely... i don't want to say intentionally clueless? but also kind of intentionally clueless? that kind of thing where you kiiiind of know and you're like "i'm just gonna pretend this isn't a thing and maybe it'll go away"?
gallagher is definitely going to keep ghosting in more - he's kind of always been in-and-out of the crew for their time at hogwarts, and this is definitely going to turn out to be more of an "in" year. (his family tends to be all over my stories, haha)
Well, Fred is quiet the philosopher when he wants to be isn't he? It remains to be seen if he is a true Teddy/Victoire soothsayer (he probably is), but he's doing a good job of continuing to hash out the issues.
For the moment though, I want to return to Dominique. Dom seems to carry a very 'meh' attitude, at least toward her sister, though I'm guessing that if that's not a standard thing, it's because in this scene it comes out that way since Victoire's talking about/reacting to the fact that she got a letter from Teddy. The brief interaction between Dominique coupled with Attraction for Dummies by Fred 'Deuces' Weasley on audiobook really brings to the fore her obliviousness though. Teddy and she have a close connection. Teddy apologizes to her for not being able to make an occasion due to work. Victoire invites him every time hopeful that he'll be able to come and is thrilled when he does. Teddy seemingly worries. Victoire over-analyzes. And they write back and forth all the time. Sounds exactly like two people who like each other. But whoosh - over Victoire's nervous head.
In any event, I like that by the end of the conversation, Victoire has come to some level of understanding/acceptance that Teddy actually likes her, but that she needs to understand the obstacles and the difficulties and why it won't just come together like a typical relationship between a couple of students (like Fred and Juliet). It's also encouraging to hear after some of my internal speculation, that Fred actually likes Juliet and that it's holding up even though he's acknowledged after the last chapters or so that she's a straight arrow to his scofflaw.
Finally, and I don't think I've given this enough credit - particularly during dialogue heavy chapters - you've done a really good job of mixing the perfect amount of description so that it's not just dialogue boom-boom-boom (like I tend to do for...reasons?). I really gets people involved in the mood or setting of specific conversations like this one. You can see both of them sitting by the lake, Victoire (nice detail) running her hand over the blades of grass.
Looking forward to the aftermath of the animagus action - there was an allusion to a lot of time in the hospital wing a couple of chapters ago...
I'll see you in the last chapter!
ohhh yes, dominique Does Not Understand boys and also has never quite gotten along with teddy - it's just kind of a bit of an oil-and-water thing. she thinks that he's boring and too mlld-mannered, he thinks that she's a little overbearing and unempathetic. neither of them is quite *wrong* from a certain perspective and it takes them years past hogwarts to get past that. (although also it's a little rich for both of them to feel that way given their social circles)
also thank youuuu balancing dialogue/description is something i've really worked on a lot so i'm super glad it... like, comes across?
The famous guest lecturer Seamus has finally appeared. I thought the substance of his discussion was awesome which obviously someone...put a lot of thought into. Regardless, both the crossbreeds that came up in this chapter played off Seamus really well. He grows more serious as the war rolls on, but still maintains his underlying spirit. That progression plays out in his lecture here - happy-go-lucky and joking about the demiserpent to the firm, battle-worn wizard trying to research and perhaps take steps to counter the kemora. When he was introduced Victoire's comments on his attire also dealt a little with both sides of him too which was cool.
One thing that also worked really well was the interactions, both class-in and class-out, between he and Professor Goldstein. During class there were both amusing and serious wink-wink-nudge-nudges from Seamus to Goldstein. However I think I liked the way things played out after class when Goldstein was discussing the prank war with Victoire and Fred. Seamus is amused by the pranks - no surprise there - but he also treats us to that little line about a family resemblance right up against it which is a literal reference to the fact that they're cousins but also fits nicely as a figurative reference to Fred (I) and George. I liked that nod.
As you know I had wondered from the early going where were going to end up with the animagi angle and I see that they've a representative from every house except Hufflepuff in on it now. Of course it still leaves open the question of why they want to become animagi, but I expect that's to come at some point ahead, if not immediately ahead either.
I'm off to the penultimate chapter now!
The second best of all pranks days had to come around at some point and I loved the directions you took with it. It's always a challenge to come up with good pranks, which is a probably when you've got a story centering on pranksters, but I think you did really well with the House-specific one Fred pulled on the Ravenclaws...and also the Teddy-specific counter-prank by Victoire. For someone who hates Potions she seems to have a knack for cooking up some polyjuice...or I assume she had some stored? I think having Victoire's prank turn out superior was also a night touch given her thoughts at the beginning of the chapter about Fred constantly being the mastermind while she was (one of) the implementer(s).
I enjoyed the references back to some things from other chapters here too. They were either recent enought or subtle enough to establish that they were a running part of people's interactions with Fred and/or Victoire or their interactions with each other. The 'I hate you' comment by Fred and now everybody seeming to understand Goldstein's favoritism other than Victoire are a couple of examples.
An interesting thing about Victoire's characterization here is that we've seen her irritated, we've seen her panicked, and we've seen her nervous, but unless I'm forgeetting I don't think we've ever really seen her sulky before. Though she already reads both real and awesome to me, I think this just adds to her. She too can be frustrated when she thinks things aren't going to work out for her and she too can fall prey to feeling helpless and sulking about it even if it's just for a bit. Or until her friends help her figure out how helpless she isn't and help her get some friendly payback.
I'm getting sadder as I read on because I'm drawing ever nearer to the end (for now) of the story, but I'll see you in numero quince.
I expected Teddy, but a full-on Teddy chapter I did not expect - not that it isn't welcome of course. I liked the comfort of the relationship between them (as it exists at the beginning of the chapter anyway) and the ease in the conversation to the point that they (or at least she) know each other's conversational habits and get answers. Teddy certainly succeeds at that with extracting the account of the banshee, though part of that might also be because Victoire is so busy studying his face she just forgets to keep resisting the question.
It's funny to hear his perspective on she and Fred's exploits too. He has realizations that they don't - like the one about them being favorites of Goldstein's - which in retrospect you wouldn't necessarily notice when being told solely from Victoire's perspective. I mean, I'll confess to being a touch surprised by his leniency on at least one occassion, but chalked it up to the story requiring them staying in school (at least for now). And now Teddy gives us (and Victoire) a different look. It's also a little funny to me because I've sort of imagined Teddy as a bit of a trickster himself - or at least a rule-breaker since I can hardly imagine Tonks being a straight arrow.
Finally, the kiss and conversation. It really added to both showing Victoire's nerves and her difficulty feeling like a child around him, that she stands on her tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek. Then she - for the first actual time I think - absolutely freaks. It's great to see panicked Victoire because what I imagine to be her warp-speed train of thought keeps getting interrupted by Fred's (cool to invert Gryffindor and Ravenclaw here) calm, somewhat measured interruptions. Very interesting to learn Victoire has never been kissed though. And it sounds like Fred's had some...thoughts...about Juliet.
Catch you in a bit if I'm lucky enough to survive Chapter 13.
The Teddiosity is coming to life and Victoire is definitely getting her hopes up that he doesn't think of her like a kid after all. I'm very interested to see what unfolds at Hogsmeade for both duos though. Victoire will hopefully get some slight, miniscule, bit of a leaning about Teddy and based off of Fred's comments, he and Juliet's first Hogsmeade trip could be something of a litmus test for their relationship. How it's escaped him I'm not sure, but his remark questioning why she's dating him - maybe even interested at all - in him seems like it could inspire some questions and conflict. It coming up would also jive well with Victoire relaying how much Juliet continually talks about how well Fred looks and kisses - purely physical? Or just to feel risky like Victoire suggests here...
I extra-enjoyed Victoire in this chapter though, bizarrely more than usual even. I think it's probably because I like her falling on her sword for Fred post-banshee-incident on top her instructing such a straight arrow like Juliet about how to tell the right story to Professor Goldstein. I could absolutely see the two of them in that moment and I loved it. Of course it was close to equally hilarious that Goldstein saw right through it all whether because of minor inconsistencies between Failing Fred Weasley and Low-Risk Juliet or because he just knows she and Fred too well to fall for the fireworks - just like the Ravenclaw prefect.
Until next time!
You implemented some even more inventive stuff in this chapter with the Room or Requirement turning into a visual projection of the Quidditch match. It demonstrates how fun and incredible the room can be what with what must be an ability to capture the what the players look like and their simultaneously movements, all in real-time and based on the broadcast that's being delivered contemporaneously. Wowza. You also tweaked Hogwarts again with the multiple professors per subject. Honestly this just seems like it would be necessary, even in canon, but I imagine the Hogwarts population has grown post-war so it's probably even more necessary under those circumstances.
I was glad we got to see Juliet's suspicion that Lexy likes Fred. Explains a lot. But I was equally glad that she stops there and doesn't want to be overtly insecure and jealous, though I say overtly because she obviously extended the invite to Ravenclaw (and her room) and I have to wonder if that wasn't to show off and put off Lexy. If it's the former though, I'm glad to see she's not going to be Lavender.
At the same time, Juliet's...passion...seems to have backfired on her in a big way here. It's unclear what kind of repercussions there will be based on being reported, but I have to imagine it's going to involve some detention and punishment that in some way is going to keep she and Fred apart - plus he might get put in detention too. If that divides them in time and proximity to each other for any extended period...well who knows what happens.
Finally we get Teddy's letter. The Teddinator is back in action and I'm looking forward to seeing he and Victoire in Hogsmeade and how all that plays out.
See you in awhile for another chapter!
Howdy! Back in action!
And so the banshee saga concludes (for now) with Fred's recovery. I knew for sure that Juliet was going to visit before he got discharged and to be honest, while she has every right to be thrilled that he's okay, she is starting to become a bit of a nuisance when she pops up. If his name lent itself to something like 'Won Won' I feel like she would've bestowed the nickname by now. Though Victoire does nothing (a little bizarrely) to fill in the blanks with anything other than her admittedly vague remkars, that doesn't seem entirely in keeping with helping Fred. I get why she doesn't want to share the story - making everyone blame her for how he got that way, shattering a bit of his image at Hogwarts, not wanting to make Juliet even more wild, etc., but it makes it even harder if it becomes necessary later.
I am interested how the dynamic between Fred and Lexy, Lexy and Victoire, and Fred, Lexy, and Victoire collectively unfolds going forward. It seems like the former is going to be fine, but I'm not sure about the latter. Lexy still seems quite hostile to Victoire (both independently and by and through Juliet) and I have to feel that that's bound to create some tension in the non-love triangle.
As far as any particular line goes - I love the one you used in the summary. It was even better with the surrounding context.
Onward and upward (in chapter count)!
Howdy howdy! I have returned!
This chapter is a departure from our norm and I'm glad for it. The interactions with the banshee obviously had to have some sort of effect on one of them and based on the conversation between she and Victoire, it obviously wasn't going to be her. Though we don't know how rapid the progression to physical symptoms took, Fred is obviously messed up and seems to lack a significant bit of awareness of what's going on and I'm pretty sure I concur with Victoire that Fred is hallucinating (?) Juliet when he says her name.
We get to see a bit more of Lexy here though which is also a change from recent chapters and I can't say that what we see is very pleasant. Frankly, her interaction from the word go seems pretty toxic and only progresses further in that direction after they get Fred up to the Room of Requirement which, as an aside, is interesting that at least Victoire doesn't know what it is. Clearly the family hasn't shared everything about Hogwarts - probably rightfully so.
While it's not entirely the first instance, Victoire does seem to act rather selfishly in getting Fred help at the beginning. She steers him away from the Hospital Wing just to avoid teachers and tries to justify the situation to Lexy in a way that seems to imply she shouldn't be blamed. That said, she does eventually go get Profs. Goldstein and Longbottom after disclosing what happened (mostly) to the former. I liked the pieces we got from him though, both the academic and the personal. By personal I mean I can easily imagine his 'what have you blown up now' opener. By academic I mean his explanation of banshees (which is incredible that you came up with yourself).
Looking forward to seeing what happens with Fred!
Considering the obvious danger of banshees, it does seem like Fred is indeed the best cousin ever - well, maybe ever is egotistical - but great. Still, though nerves were very much called for, I thought the specific news about the banshees being very much capable of killing anyone who disturbed their comb encouraging since that did not happen to Victoire or Fred on the first occasion.
Before revisiting the re-entry though, it seems that Victoire just can't escape the Fred/Juliet dynamic. Poor her. Being a good friend, she keeps largely to her previous comments about what Juliet is saying about him. For his part, Fred seems surprisingly nervous about what she thinks. That seems interesting for him based on his antics, personality, and school status as an attractive and popular athlete, but I think is realistic. A lot of people assume that those folks don't get nervous about romantic relationships, but Victoire gets to see Fred in that semi-vulnerable moment that lets on that he really, sincerely cares about Juliet and what she thinks. I'm interested to see how she reacts (and how long he takes to score).
Now to the re-entry. I'm glad you kind of fast-forwarded us to the second interaction. Though it's ultimately positive with no death and a weird reassurance/invitation, it is still peculiar and leaves a lot for though about why she calls Victoire cousin. Has she already set Victoire's bansheeization into motion (probably not :p)? Is there some actual blood connection between them where a relative became a banshee somehow (is that possible?)? It leaves much to be pondered.
Catch you on the flip of the page!
I think this was such a fun chapter to start with. I think it has really let the reader know who the characters are what they're about. I think the duo of Fred and Vic is instantly loveable! They have such a great chemistry as friends/family, the banter between them was really funny. I love how they're bickering to each other about missing the train. It feels like natural rapport that they have. You did a great job with the dialogue because it all really flowed so nicely.
I like this portray of Vic. I think so often that we see Vic as the perfect girl (often opposed to tomboy/a bit of a mess Dom!) but I think that she was more likely have a cracking sense of humour even she is often given. I'm really pleased to see that you're so invested in fleshing out her as a character. She seems really cute and likeable at the moment.
I'm already really interested in Teddy/Vic. I think you're obviously teasing a bit of how Vic is feeling towards Teddty. I only wonder how Teddy is feeling. I think they have a wonderful chemistry though. Their interaction seems really tight like maybe flirty?? I don't know quite what his intentions are but I can see why Vic likes him anyway! I think that Fred and Vic are going to fun pair to read about. First chapter is really good and presents such charming portrayals of these characters so far.
Victoire is actually in a nervous and according subdued mood! This is a new step for her (at least from what we've seen so far) and I like how it also matches up with her hiding out trying to study up on the meaning of the situation - even from Fred. She justifies it by (at least at the beginning) telling herself she just doesn't want to admit she was wrong about whether picking up the comb was a smart idea, but it obviously runs deeper and when Fred finds her (which doesn't take long) I think the way he agrees to help her so much is great for a best friend. It speaks to how much he values their friendship that he's willing to pass up on the opportunity for more time with Juliet when they've just started dating - I know people tend to be very much different at their age about that - though at the same time I hope this doesn't speak negatively to he and Juliet going forward. She does after all, only seem to talk about them kissing.
That said, we also got a taste of a few more personal interactions. I thought it was nice to see Victoire in the company of people other than Fred and Juliet in a lengthier scene. She obviously can't really talk to Fred about Juliet's behavior - at least not in any detail or overly negative way - but she has other friends who are on board with her reaction and provide an example of a settled relationship where two people are in love - something that Victoire seems to want for herself however she couches it.
Finally we got to have a heart-to-heart between Victoire and Juliet about her whole...overexuberance. I like that they are comfortable enough and caring enough about each other that this doesn't turn into an argument. I can easily see Juliet feeling like she's being repressed and becoming really annoyed with Victoire, but instead she's reasonable and even agrees to change her behavior - even if it's only a compromise. Victoire even includes Carolyn in her request for diluted volume which I think is also a nice nod on her part to the night prior. Fortunately she gets agreement on that too.
See you in the next chapter!
Much though I enjoyed the previous two chapters, I was excited to get back to Fred and Victoire's titular action - this one qualifying as a 'caper' I suppose. It's cool that over her time at Hogwarts, the thrill of sneaking out to the forest has turned into a legitimate and important source of interest based on the creatures they've been finding. I suspect that it's these sightings, interactions, etc. that have inspired her to choose the career path that she has. The nod to canon with Mr. Weasley's old enchanted car still being there and the fact that the experienced Victoire can put together that it was attacked by at least one acromantula.
Moving on to the banshee situation, I found this interaction particularly interesting. First, I thought banshees did actually kill people with the whole banshee scream thing, but apparently they don't? Plus I would think if that were the case, Fred would know it as well, but perhaps Victoire has studied more about them with her Restricted Section ventures. In any event, the way/reason the banshee appears is really cool. Victoire, in keeping with her impulsive nature, plucks up the comb despite Fred's warning/reservation. She should've probably let it sink in for a minute that Fred was concerned about her picking it up, but why be constrained by something so uncharacteristic from your best friend and fellow adventurer?
After picking up the comb the banshee seems to have been 'summoned' and wants the comb back. Or does she given that Victoire seems to have wound up with it anyway? I wonder if she wanted Victoire to take the the comb back into Hogwarts for some reason or if the banshee's appearance is more like the Grim in Harry's tea, noting that she is (or was) in mortal danger, but that it can in fact still be avoided. An intriguing question that I hope will be answered in the future.
See you in the next chapter!
Back for more!
I like that we got more of the Fred and Victoire dynamic in this chapter and that we get to see a tad of strain. It's short-lived, yes, but they are definitely having words and Fred, in particular, is using his spear. On some level I agree with both of them though. Victoire doesn't have some obligation to relay information Juliet shares about him to him. In fact, it's really a betrayal of confidence if she did. At the same time, Victoire should act equitably rather than holding him to a higher standard (which is what it seems like Victoire wants). Also they're NOT ditching the animagus scheme. That's a bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off.
There was definitely more non-school than there was school in this chapter (at least in terms of depth), but I liked the things you did note - particularly things that seem natural to us in the muggle world - picking classes to be with friends AND because certain professors are hell. And trying to avoid thorny classes while also doing your best to equip yourself for the future. It's another cool wrinkle that I really appreciated.
Remembering back to Fred/Juliet - he seems to want this feedback from Victoire as well, but then he plays it really shy or at least close to the vest about how things went. It makes me wonder if it actually DID go well or not so much. Hopefully we'll find out by pitch coming up.
On to the next chapter!
Howdy! The event has brought me back to where I should've returned long ago!
The interaction between Professors Goldstein and Longbottom and Victoire and Fred is a good one. I think often people write the Neville interactions in particular as just relaxed and different from normal students because of who they are and their D.A. connection with their relatives, but Neville was more as he was in canon - sort of by-the-book. While he obviously strayed from that while he stayed in school and Harry was on the run, I seriously doubt that it just evaporated as part of his character. Goldstein meanwhile, seemed a bit more relaxed and it fell into a nice two-pronged attack. I'm glad he held Victoire back though and really tried to get through to her rather than offer just a token reprimand. Her career path also seems different and unique - you do such a great job with creativity in this story!
Another part I liked was the animagus element. It's somewhat amusing since canon is somewhat replete (at least more than one might expect) with unregistered animagi between Sirius, James, Peter, and Rita Skeeter, but I do wonder why Victoire is so interested in it. Maybe I'm forgetting something or it's just associated with her interest in magical creatures, but she's certainly going full bore and (as seems characteristic in your writing of her) risking a lot.
The last creative element I enjoyed was the fact that Hogwarts accommodates guest lecturers now. I think it helps take the school in a much more expansive and modern direction and I hope to see how/if any of that plays out in the story.
Thanks for sharing more awesome writing!
WHAT?! OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER TOOK A TURN FROM AMUSING TO UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Branwen... what? Please explain. :P I want to know what it means that the silver comb is still in Victoire's pocket. Is that an omen of death? Or something else? Did she really give back the silver comb to the Banshee, or was that a trick of some kind? I hope this develops more throughout the story because it's so interesting and I want to explore the concept of coming across a Banshee and then having the thing you returned remain with you. It's creepy and horrifying and a total mind game! I am totally here for this!
Your description throughout this chapter was magnificent. I felt like I was really adventuring into the Forbidden Forest and coming across the Banshee. I also was as intrigued as Victoire about the silver comb, though my instincts were telling me to go back (like Fred). And I'm curious as to how the Banshee got into the Forbidden Forest, too.
And Fred--Why was he so unnerved? Sure, this isn't a unicorn that they've come across. But is it really superstition, like Victoire assumes? I'm hoping time will reveal these things to me. :)
Of course, this is where I have to take a break (sobs), but I hope to return to this story soon!
Thank you!!! <3 <3 <3
Another excellent chapter! It was a great one on world building with Micah and Fred figuring out their schedules and how the beginning of term at Hogwarts is like. I really liked your explanation at the end in your author's note about the different professors. Having worked in education, I think you're right. It would be way more easier to have professors for those certain levels, and I like how you explore this in your Sidenote! universe.
To add, on top of all that, you have also budding teenage romances, with all of the pining glances and beet red cheeks and giggling and squeals. It was highly amusing to have Fred show up so late in the library because he lost track of time, lol, what a champ. However, I didn't like seeing Fred and Victoire argue about his relationship with Juliet. It was necessary, I believe, for the plot and for the characters. Being family, like I mentioned in my previous review, can be tough when it comes to Hogwarts' dating scene because the Weasley clan is so massive. But I think Fred and Victoire's friendship is so strong that they'll overcome it. I mean, they reach a new understanding by the end of the chapter, so I'm convinced that they'll be okay. But I am definitely very sympathetic towards Victoire's upcoming experience of hearing Juliet gush about her date with Fred with the entire dorm. That's gotta be rough.
And then here Fred is, bringing up Teddy again. Is he turning into some type of wingman for Teddy, lol? And I'm not sure how I feel about Teddy starting fights with other boys last year over their oogling of Victoire. Objectification of women is not okay--we gotta deconstruct that social norm into something more respectful. However, I do hope that Teddy wasn't doing it out of possessiveness. I don't think he did, because that's wha I want to believe and he seems to be such a sweetheart, but perhaps, deep down, it is like that a little bit. Which is a great area of growth for him! Accepting Victoire's independence and letting her stand up for herself seems like it might be difficult for him, even if he wants those things himself. I hope I'm not reading into things too much--and it's not a criticism of your writing at all! I think this would be a really interesting character arch with tons of development and that all parties would be better off for it! :)
This chapter has given me a lot to think about. So excited to be continuing on in this story!
Yeahhh - I'm glad that Teddy is coming across as very slightly "ummm." It's not that he's a total sketchball, but there've been some really conflicting things mixed up in his feelings about Vic for a bit now, and while most of it isn't possessiveness, there was a small element of - if not possessiveness, maybe a little jealousy? Fred points out later that Teddy being into a sixth year while he's out of school and working is not his best moment, and Fred is not wrong in that assessment. Which doesn't mean that Teddy is the worst, but I did want to show what some of the problems that this kind of stage of life/age difference can be even in the best of situations rather than brushing past it like it's completely irrelevant. Teddy is never going to get controlling or actively problematic or anything, but there will be a few... well, not his best moments here and there, and this is definitely one of them.
So you're definitely not reading too much into it! <3 Thank you!!
Hey Branwen! Back for more!
This chapter is absolutely fascinating. I love how detailed everything is in your interpretation of Victoire Weasley's experience at Hogwarts: her rapport with Professor Goldstein, her courses to align with her career interest, her relationships with her Housemates, her desire to be an Animagus. Everything is well thought out. And the way you present all of these details is incredible. I think a lot of beginning writers tend to list these details straight away in the beginning of stoires to establish what their character's daily life will be like. But here, you've taken time letting us know Victoire and the details are inserted into the flow of the story. Of course she'd have to have this conversation with her professor at some point, but having it the night of the feast makes sense. And the dialogue choice you use is also natural-sounding and interesting. I really liked exploring this Hogwarts of yours!
And then hearing the gossip about Fred and Juliet... oh my goodness, I was surprised like Victoire about it being so soon, but then, after reflecting a little bit on his character, I'm no longer surprised (that's a testament to your characterization of him, well done!). Poor Vic, having to put up with the giggling prospects of a new romance with one of her family members... but in a tight knit family of the Weasleys, it's part of your existence, I suppose.
Also, considering your author's note on the bathrooms in the dormitories, I agree with you 100%. It's my head canon too, and I'm stoked to find out that someone else thinks this, too! :)
PS I really, really, really hope Victoire becomes an Animagus. PLEASE?! :D
The good news is that there's quite a lot of animagus stuff in later chapters. The bad news is that you've got to read through mischief/teen drama to get to it. :P
Thank you so so much! <3
Hahahahahahahaha! The beginning of this chapter is absolutely priceless! Fred goes from third wheel to VOICE OF REASON. I absolutely how direct he is once he and Victoire are out of earshoot of Teddy. All of the things that Fred lists are tell tale signs of a crush. But because he's describing Teddy, I am absolutely swooning at wanting to get him together with Victoire. And Victoire, goodness me, is in deep, deep denial! The way she reacts to Fred's observations are priceless. It's the classic "these things CANNOT be true" with the "hidden" subtest of "I ~really~ hope they are though." Though I don't think she'd ever admit that. Yet. ;)
And then Victoire insisting that she can beat up her own boys is golden! The ultimate girl power moment. And I totally can see her doing just that. But then Fred has the most painfully obvious Gryffindor answer of wanting to spare her from detention. Yeah, okay, Fred, we all get that you're brave and chivalrous, lol. But it's such a sweet moment.
And then despite being really insightful and slightly encouraging about Teddy's feelings towards Victoire, he also pivots into the archtype of Typical Boy, wanting to date someone with "nice figures" and then casually brings up a girl that he wants to snog. FFS. But it's really endearing and I think fits his character well for the handsome goofball that he seems to be. What hell will be unleashed this school year???
And then Lexy and Micah make an appearance! I already enjoy the group dynamic, asking prying questions, sarcasm, jealously, the whole kit and kaboodle. And Professor Longbottom speaking mildly was one of the most amusing things about this chapter, lol.
Yes, Fred and Victoire, you're in trouble. What else did you expect? lol
Loving their relationship so far. Onward to the next chapter!
omg yes! between the two of them, Fred is usually the voice of reason, which possibly says something deeply troubling about Victoire's common sense. :P (This may or may not be intentional. And by may or may not, I mean is, and I'm so stoked when someone picks up on it, haha.)
Hiya Branwen! I've been wanting to get back to this story!
Wow, so far there has been a lot of shirtless Teddy. And that hasn't escaped Victoire's notice, lol. I don't think she quite realizes that she's attracted to him ~in that way~ but her reactions are rather priceless! And encouraging to Teddy, haha, who seems to be perfect gentleman (buying their menagerie tickets and still insisting to give them Christmas presents as well as comforting Vic when needed). But it also seems like he as a little bit of a flirty and teasing side to him, too. I wonder how all of this will play out throughout the course of the year!
Especially because Ted and Victoire have great chemistry. There's a great respect already established between the two of them, and they're able to be vulnerable in front of each other without feeling completely like an idiot. Teddy is so comforting for Victoire, and I think that Victoire helps Teddy find his adventurous side. There are so many little moments between the two of them in this chapter, but they're usually alwys interupted by Freddie, who seems to almost be an afterthought, lol. Poor guy, third wheeling is hard. BUT he does the job well, and I'm sure that he'll sparkle and shine as the school year progesses, lol.
Also, the descriptions of the Menagerie were simply lovely. It brought me back to last year's review event. You have a knack for writing about magical creatures! The Lethifold and the Basilisk were very creepy, and you captured the suspense with the fantastic descriptions and then brought a great sense of relief from the gentle reassurance of Teddy.
I was almost as sad as Victoire to see the day end. Lucky for me, there are more chapters of this!
Awww, thank you so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying it (... esp the magical creatures they are my faves haha)!
Hello <3 I'm here for Round 1 of the review event.
I definitely read this chapter back on hpff and maybe reviewed it, but i didn't remember much so i decided to start from the beginning.
These two are such troublemakers, it's so fun! I definitely relate to losing trck of time so I feel like it isn't really their fault. I mean, the Hogwarts Express literally leaving once a year and providing no contingency plan is kind of a terrible system. :P
It was cool how the leasing office was just hidden by a fake wall haha
It's cute how Victoire gets nervous before seeing Teddy and tells herself it's about finding the right flat, when we all know it's ony 10% that, and 90% the massive crush she has on him. I can't blame her. Being able to make a stellar breakfast is a very attractive quality. And judging the all those photos, it's mutual. Now, bets on how long it takes for them to figure out they like each other, let alone actually become a couple? I'm guessing... way longer than it should :P
Also, the dialogue is perfect, especially between Victiore and Fred. They have such an easy comraderie between them. And that highlights the slight awkwardness Vic brings to her conversations with Teddy, which otherwise I don't think I'd notice because she has a quick tongue in general.
I wish I could visit this magica menagerie! I remember that your hc for next gen involves an over population of dangerous magical creatues, and Teddy works for the department that deals with hem, so it should be cool to see that!
Love your writing and these characters and of course, you! <33
omg Renee of course it's way longer than it should, I apparently only have two modes: 1) make people read tens of thousands of words before the characters actually get together or 2) write one-shots that skip to them fucking. I have no chill. You are completely free to judge me and find me lacking. :P :P
Thank youuuu I was so psyched to see your review here <3 <3
Branwen! Hello, dear! Happy holidays! :D
I've been away from this story for too long, but I'm back for your wishlist, hope that's okay! :)
Ahahah! Poor Goldstein, indeed! :P I bet he and Neville never get bored, do they? :P I loved that when Victorie went to ask for his help he was just like, "what did you do this time", it's too funny! From a reader's pov, at least! ;)
And poor Fred... I really hope he'll actually be fine... I suppose he will, but this was surely scary... I like the way you explained banshees and their effect, btw, I think it's fascinating!
Oh, and they had found the Room of Requirements, but didn't know what it was? I like that, too! Of course Anthony would immediately know what room Victoire was referring to ;)
In how much trouble will Victoire be? I hope not too much, although she probably deserve some punishment... after all, she did put Fred in danger by dragging him into the Forest, when he clearly wasn't happy about it... she surely has a magnet for trouble, doesn't she?
I loved that in his dazed state Fred was still thinking of Juliet! :P
I also loved Lexy's cursing! :D
This chapter was so much fun! I really love this story! (Stop by my review thread sometime? So I don't forget to come back?)
Happy holidays and big snowball hug!!!
Hey, Chiara! Thank you so much for stopping by! <3
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, especially the banshee stuff - I like playing with mythology a little, and I'm always a little worried that it'll come off as, like, too far out there or something, so I'm always super gratified when I hear that it hasn't. (... there were possibly too many "always"s in there.)
<3 <3 <3