I’ve been slowly pushing myself back into fan fiction (And by slowly I mean spending days binge reading stories and writing reviews because that’s just how life works sometimes) and I ran across your story. So here we go. :)
I quite enjoyed what you did here. To start, I love, love, love that you split this up into distinct moments in time. I’m not sure what the draw is for me, but the fact that you have these moments that are so important to these two characters, and how they paint a picture of these events, of this bonding, of this relationship growing…it’s beautiful. I love watching how things unfold and, especially with what you’ve done here, I love that it begins and ends in the same place, how it’s a circle of a story that really is just two beginning. It was a lovely design.
I also love your characters. Lily is such a natural character, one who follows the rules but at the same time isn’t afraid of stepping just outside of them to see more. She’s not purposely trying to get into trouble, but she does let her curiosity guide her. And Elia…her character is fascinating. The way she’s so unconcerned about things, how she’s just out to have a good time, to have adventures, to dream about other adventures that may not be the safest (riding dragons…I may have giggled a little at the thought)…
The plot too, of how these two girls meet, Lily fascinating by Elia, only to further spend time with her, following her through the woods just to see what could be fun, to admire it all (and maybe admire Elia a little there too xD)…I like it. You give a good build on their relationship and I like how each segment added more to their story, explained them without putting too many words to it. I also like how Elia struggles with asking Lily to Hogsmeade, how Lily knows almost instantly that she’s asking the question and meaning it in a different way…You just illustrated things really, really nicely here and I quite enjoyed it.
You did a great job! I enjoyed the read!
Rebecca, this was beautiful. I like how you started off slowly and built up to the big revelation, the request for a date, over the course of the story. It came through so naturally that it was impossible to see it going any other way, to be honest - though perhaps the tags you used had something to do with that too,hahaha. But the little things like Lily getting goosebumps from their arms touching, or trying not to look down Elia's top - we could see where it was going and honestly I was rooting for Lily the whole way. She had the nervousness, the trepidation ... and Elia did too, in that last scene, asking for the date. It's a difficult thing to ask someone you like out, and when it's a same sex thing it's even harder if you don't know if they're that way inclined in the first place. I thought you did it really well.
I also liked how Elia didn't react to Lily being who she was. I imagine that was a breath of fresh air - she didn't shy from the fact of Lily being the daughter of Harry Potter, but she didn't make a big deal of it either. I liked how she said she wanted to ride a dragon and Lily said her dad didn't think it was that great, and Elia just shrugged that off as she pointed out he didn't exactly do it for fun. It's a normal reaction, but I imagine that for much of Lily's life she's been surrounded by people who idolise Harry for what he did (or, let's face it, are one of about a million relations) and the offhand, matter-of-fact discussion of what he did as a historical event rather than "OMG this is your dad" would be a nice change. Gee, I just realised how rambling that sentence was. I hope you understand what I meant!!
Anyway, all in all a really lovely story. Your writing is so easy to read and so effortlessly descriptive (but not overly so) that it makes reading it a pleasure. Thanks!
Wow. This was so beyond adorable.
Personally, I'm a huge fan of both magizoology and queer girls/women, so I knew I was going to love this as soon as I started reading - and did I ever.
I loved the way you characterized Lily - the way she tripped over her own tongue in the beginning and ended up feeling super embarassed for asking Elia what year she was in felt so realistic to me - it was really a bit of an overreaction, which kids and teens tend to be known for. And, her ignorance about unicorns/unicorn foals was really endearing, especially since she'd snuck off to the Forbidden Forest in the first place.
And I understand the claustrophobia she hints at, too - I feel like the next-gen Wotter clan often gets portrayed as a big happy family, but I can absolutely see how it could get a little overbearing, and I'm glad you touched on that. It felt like a perfect justification for why rule-abiding Lily would wander into the Forbidden Forest.
And she was so taken with Elia so immediately - it was beyond adorable, and it seemed like Lily only got more enamored as the story went on. I could understand why, especially seeing Elia through Lily's eyes - she came across to me as someone who's got a really distinct view of the world and is happy to explore and experience the world on her own - which I think is really, really good for Lily, particularly given how big and loud her family can be.
I love that Elia made the first move - I was so hoping when you brought them back to the clearing and Lily was wondering why that this would be the result! This was so adorable and fluffy - I loved it. ♥
(originally posted 6/11/15 on HPFF)
I feel like we don't get enough on magical creatures post-OotP, at least not before Fantastic Beasts. I felt like most LGBTQA stories involved men and that it was hard to find femmeslash at the time, which was a pity. I'm glad you enjoyed their interactions and my attempt on Next Gen, since this was all out of my comfort zone. Thanks so much!