Nicole! I am late in getting here and showing your AP some love, but when I was asking for stories to leave some reviews on, Laura naturally recommended me your page (not that I wouldn't have made my way here eventually, but she was just ensuring that I got to it sooner :P).
Original fiction! I couldn't resist this (and not just because I've already read The Network) - I'm so excited that you're writing original stories and that I get to read some of it! But also. HOW CAN YOU WRITE THIS ON THE SPOT? I am going to be eternally jealous of your writing talents, love. If one day you'd like to teach me or share them out then I'd be perfectly okay with that ;)
I loved the second person in this. You know already that it's probably my favourite narrative voice, but really it worked so well here, because it dragged me right into the story even though I didn't know the characters properly.
Do I need to mention the description? Probably, even though I talk about it in literally everything that I read by you. But but but! How do you write such incredible description in so few words? Seriously, there are fewer than 200 words here and you've still managed to blow me away with this. Your word choice is just spectacular and beautiful <3
This was such an intriguing and unusual piece of writing. The relationship that it made me envisage was so detached and unbalanced. The protagonist seemed almost obsessed and determined to remain attached to their other half, and the way that they prepared for death (a literal or metaphorical death?) was so fascinatingly creepy. There was like a balance between a physical (and scientific) connection and a more spiritual one, when they built up the diaries from that person, something that held more memories than DNA. It was so strange but also very interesting to read!
The distance was built up so well through this piece, too. The way that the partner doesn't respond to their name, and the protagonist is doing things to try and preserve their relationship while they're in the other room - there are just so many tiny things in this which build up to something incredible.
Hufflepuff CtF Review
I’m here to challenge myself to see if I can write a decent 1000 character review about 177 words!
Kudos to you for posting original fiction! That is always really intimidating to write for a lot of us, and I’m glad the archive allows it so we can support each other there=)
This piece is incredibly beautiful. There is a kind of creepy devotion about it. You can’t be certain how healthy the relationship is, as the speaker seems to be entirely dependent on their partner - not only would they be wrecked without them, but even while they are still together the narrator is living in anxious preparation for this loss.
I feel like the talk of death here can either be literal or taken as a metaphor for any kind of separation, including a breakup. It does really remind me of that feeling as a relationship is crumbling where you know it won’t last but you can’t stand to see it end. Maybe I see it more that way than with literal death because I have more experience with the former than the latter.
Also the line about what the narrator does while their partner is in the next room is very evocative. They are devoting all of this energy to the fear of losing their partner, and by doing that, actually missing time they could be together.
I love how you seem to combine the fantastic/spiritual with the scientific/methodical here.
And then the ending - how even now, when the partner is alive, they do not respond to their own name. That is so good, and really adds to the subtle feeling of distance you have built between them.
This is really stunning. I love the combination of intense devotion with neglectful distance. I don’t know if my interpretation is what you intended, but it is amazing regardless. When I first read through this I didn’t think I had much to say about it, but as I reread it a second and third time I appreciated it more and more.
Hello teh! I'm here for CtF.
How in the world did you write such a beautiful drabble "on the spot"?? Teach me your ways!
You've created a really strong dynamic here between your two charactes, You and I. I feel like this point of view should have it's own name, because it's different from first but also different from second. When you have the narrator address someone specific, it seems to really pull the story tightand I get super drawn in. That was a particularly smart choice because it's no picnic to draw readers into a story this short!
I'm curious why you didn't classify this at all as poetry. It has a definitely cadence and i think it woul dbe very beautiful read aloud. You even have the rhyme between fill/well.
Also, I relate so much to the idea of promising to fill journals. Which isn't relevant, except that it's good to write something that nearly anyone could connect to in some way. This is so visceral - i'm not sure everyone could connect, but if you can, i think it is bound to be a profound connection.
probably it's tiredness, but i can't claim to fully understand the message here at this moment. It seems to be about desperation to prevent a loved one's death - and the futility of those attempts. I actually find the failure reassuring. There are some things magic shouldn't do.
This is so beautiful and it was a treat to read something by you in such a condensed format.
wello done! xoxo
teh, this is incredible. It made my skin crawl and tore at my heartstrings; you captured the raw emotion and the subject so perfectly. Amazing job. <3