I love how you've structured in a like traditional fairytale. I think the simpleness of the language as you really up their story which fits into the idea that it's a bedtime story for children as such. I think that's really cute. They seem like they have a lovely little life. I think these pixies are really interesting little creatures. It really feels you're playing off the idea of mysterious creatures like the harpy but maybe a bit less dangerous? I'm hoping they are just silly more than anything? edit: maybe they aren't just silly then :P
I can see how the boy would be getting really curious about what might be down the well. I think you've really captured good characterization of them as little children. I think the big sister is so sweet that she wants or at least she feels the need to really protect her brother even though going into the well is a big risk.
the description of them falling into the well was really beautifully done, the concept of the stars and space seem so interesting and the air of mystery is so compelling that I must just read on. I think there is a very Alice in wonderland vibe to this story - how it's confusing and the girl just gets sucked into their world. I think this story has really made so wonder about the magic that they have because how was the uncle able to get in and get out again when they have struggled.
I really enjoyed the link to time within the piece, how you make time seem so crazy and the real question of how it works. Time is probably the greatest wonder and I think you've used that concept in a really interesting way within the story. I thought this was really unique little story that you've told! well done!
I'm here to leave you another review for the CDMC Event - Round 2!
Oh. This is quite the departure from the last couple of stories I've read! It looks to be a children's story. I'm really curious to see what you do with it.
These pixies in the well seem a little bit ominous. I wonder why they trick children into following them down below. I mean I see that once they're there, they dance and are happy, but that doesn't exactly seem like a bad thing. What do the pixies get out of it?
I love the way you used description in this. It was really beautiful and definitely reminded me of fables from when I was a child. I especially liked the way you described the water that they could breath in. That whole scene with them swimming down to the Pixie's home reminded me of what it's like to scuba dive. Kind of a surreal experience.
I am glad that the uncle came to save them though. I know nothing bad had happened yet, but I do feel like something bad was coming. Like had they been trapped there forever, maybe the pixies would've harnessed their laughter for magic or something.
I love the note that you left about how this linked back to your grandmother and her stories. So what did I learn from this story? I think I learned that sometimes we don't understand why people tell us not to do things, but we have to just trust that it's for our benefit. Clearly, the uncle and grandma were looking out for the two children, even if we never got an answer as to exactly what would've happened.
Hi Lex! Here for the CMDC review event round 1!
This story is so beautiful; the narrative is dreamlike and ethereal and very “fairy tale” and innocent or naive in tone. The imagination and imagery is beautiful, the image of the children falling down the well with all the colors and stars (very Alice in Wonderland vibes for some reason), and I especially loved the description of the water that was not wet -- how creative!
The Pixies are a paradox, at once sort of ominous in the sense that they lure and abduct children (and the girl couldn’t leave even when she tried), and also benevolent, because once the children are in their home no harm comes to them -- they only dance.
The concept of time was very interesting and I was curious to know how much time had actually passed in the real world once their uncle had retrieved them. I also did think it was very interesting how the children seemed to switch roles at the end, where the boy was willing to go back but the girl wasn’t. Perhaps because the boy was the more active participant initially, he was able to stay more in control of his faculties and decide to go back, whereas the girl was more passive and sort of fell under the Pixies’ spell?
In response to your author’s note, I’m not exactly able to put my finger on what the lesson is here or what I think it is, but maybe something to do with things being an illusion?
Hi Lexi! I’m here for your challenge entry review :D
This is a wonderful story! I loved all the sensual, visual language you used—it made the tale jump off the page. I thought it was particularly interesting that the children were already playing with the Pixies, and that their guardians were aware of it and okay with it—as long as the kids didn’t actually go in the well itself. Which, of course, they do. I enjoyed that the boy was the one who kept wanting to go on the adventure and push the boundaries of what they were allowed to do at first, and his sister was the one who kept trying to get them to go back—but that she wouldn’t actually leave his brother. She was going to do her best to take care of him no matter what he decided to do—what a good big sister!
The weirdness of the Pixie world was really fun. I loved that you described what it was like to the point that I could see and feel it, but you left it mysterious. The girl never really understands how the world works or even how long she is there. It was very exciting, mysterious, and creepy all together!
And then the kids escape and everything is okay—although they are warned yet again “DON”T GO IN THE WELL!!” And I hope they don’t—they did get out this time, but they might not again.
Although, maybe the would get out again…
You made the little Zingarellas laugh out loud too—we really enjoyed how you wove the humor into this story.
Thank you for entering my challenge! I’ll have the results up soon.
Hi, Lexi! I came over to check out the other entry so far in the challenge. :)
I really like what you did with this piece. It definitly had a fairytale vib to it, although a bit of a darker one. It certainly looks like the type of story you'd fine in an old book of fables like you mentioned with your grandmother, so congrats on nailing the atmosphere. Good luck on the challenge!