Reviews For Moonlight


Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2020 03:26 AM · For: Chapter 10: Prospero's

Hi Noelle! Here with another one of your prize reviews for entering my Epistolary Challenge! <3

 

I don’t know how you’re so consistently amazing! But once again, you’ve written another incredible chapter, filled with so many details and interesting tidbits for thought. Your writing is always, always of top-notch quality; I can tell that you spent a good amount of time crafting your sentences and characters, which pays off so, so well! Something that I’ve always admired about you is how much you write—I see you all around the forums and archives entering challenges, posting new stories, and just continually being an amazing writer, and your writing just keeps getting better and better and better. I’m going on a bit of a tangent here, but even the beginning of Moonlight, which was already Very Excellent, pales a little in comparison to this chapter here! I just absolutely love your dedication to writing. <3

 

Onto the story! :P After all this, I can’t help but feel that Miranda is simply too good for Severus, hahhaha. There’s a degree of assholery in everybody, certainly, and then there’s Severus. :P I think you have done a remarkable job with him as a character—his fond teasing of her certainly lessens the bluntness of harsher things he says later, because we know that he does genuinely care for it. Sometimes, though, those blunt things really cross the line, and though I can imagine myself reacting quietly/mildly no matter how indignant I was inside, Miranda seems so much more fiery than I am. She does understand Severus much better than I do, though, and seems more willing to tolerate his rather petulantly rude remarks (even if he’s suggesting that things are better when she keeps her mouth shut haha). Which is definitely in part to Aaron!

 

I was so excited to see Aaron! I actually met him first in Your Friend, Miranda, since I hadn’t yet gotten caught up with Moonlight chapters, I believe, so perhaps my excitement came a little out of order. :P ANYWAY, he’s as charming as ever! I am intrigued by the subtle nod to his partner, Rachel, and I hope to see the two of them together sometime soon! I did like the advice that Aaron offered to Miranda, haha. In addition to being amusing, it was just a very realistic way of looking at things. I think he should’ve included a caveat that said that despite it being in the nature of men to be assholes, they should put in a serious effort to not be assholes, hahaha. (Though, embarrassingly, I’m probably the Severus in my relationship…albeit a smaller, younger, less intimidating one. :P)

 

NOOO. Severus did the thing where he walks away to protect the one he loves! Which is astonishingly noble, but MIRANDA IS RIGHT, she gets to choose her risks! Come back, Severus!! You made her so sad!!!

 

On a very offhand note, who knew that Gone with the Wind was so spicy? :P This makes me sound somewhat bad, but that genuinely makes me want to read Gone with the Wind more! If I do end up reading it soon, and I end up enjoying it (as I’m sure I will), I’ll be sure to thank you! <3

 

I love love love your author’s notes. That little piece of information about Yellow Chartreuse was SO fascinating, I feel like I’m learning these intriguing secrets about history that schools don’t teach us because they think it’s unimportant. But I think learning about elixirs of life and monk liqueurs is VERY important!

 

Such a wonderful chapter!

 

Love,

Eva



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 08 Feb 2020 01:43 PM · For: Chapter 10: Prospero's

TIL the word ‘sanguine’ and I’m in love with it (I actually knew the word already, I had just been assuming what it meant from context. After the ‘bemused’ debacle I’ve been more careful lately and turns out ‘sanguine’ does not in fact mean ‘discerning’). Also ‘copse’ omg. And then there’s ‘veneer’ which I already knew but isn’t part of my prêt-à-porter vocabulary which I now think is a shame because it’s just all sorts of brilliant and I’m now just waiting for the perfect chance to use it.

This chapter was beautiful. I usually write my reviews while reading, but in this case I had to take a break from writing because I was so engaged. It felt so vivid and alive I could practically hear the music.

You start off with an introspective moment that is all Miranda that was incredibly useful to show exactly what she’s thinking and how she feels about Severus. I love that she knew he was a Death Eater right off the bat and cared nothing for it, thinking his wild youth was to blame for it. It shows a lot about her personality that she didn’t think less of him in any way, even if she was completely aware of what had happened in England. In the past chapters I had always thought that her nonchalance had more to do with ignorance than recklessness - I know realise it was neither. She knows exactly what Voldemort is and what he will do to her and entertains no illusions that her presence in the UK is dangerous… and yet she still wants to stay and risk everything, including her life, to be around Severus.

She has shown impeccable instincts since the first chapter and the fact that she believes he would never willingly harm her only makes me wish that she’s right. 

“She supposed what drew her to him most was his veneer of complete control.”

I really like this. I’m not a big fan of Severus Snape as a romantic hero myself - or at least I never was until I started reading Moonlight. I think I was furious when I read that Pensieve scene and realised James Potter was a complete wanker and thought for a moment ‘how is that fair, just because he’s prettier?’ but I never thought Lily and him were meant to be and I certainly never fantasized about him as being Male Lead material… until now. It makes perfect sense that she, an open and completely shameless (in the good way) woman would see this wall and not be able to resist tearing it down to find out what lies on the other side. 

“At some point, she heard the door slam again, so she stayed in for an extra fifteen minutes out of petulance.”

I also love this. 

Okay, there’s something I need to say here (and mind you, this is only my personal beef so don’t let it bother you it’s just something that I feel very strongly about as a reader): I usually HATE Costume Porn. Costume Porn is basically the writing trope where clothes are described in detail as if they were part of the supporting cast. I always hated it and reading it generally feels grating and it just… it ticks me off, okay? 

HOWEVER… I feel like the fact that you showed us what was basically a costume change in the magical world made it worth it. It turned the PWP into PWP and I can survive that, especially because it was interesting and thought provoking. 

When Transmutation is just another set of spells to learn, obviously people would be able to morph their attires. One could of course wonder why then people would own multiple attires or why clothes shops even exist but then again I love my headcanon of Miranda as a multi-talented woman who’s just as ready to stab a couple of vamps as to fix her own clothes. No more awkward walks of shame with the same clothes you wore next night sort of deal. Nevertheless, it also makes me wonder if this were a thing why Molly Weasley wouldn’t just Transmute her kids’ clothes all the time so they would look new and fit right…?

(Incidentally, I don’t mind Costume Porn when it’s seen through the eyes of another character, for example, when Severus took note of her dress and became all hot and bothered by it. I’m not entirely sure why, I just feel like it feels more natural to take note of other peoples’ attires when it’s from an outside perspective.)

“he began in the tone that he reserved for reading his students’ confiscated notes aloud in class”

I love this and I wanted to say I love every single one of your Muggle culture references. ALSO I love the Author’s Notes at the end with pieces of trivia, they’re really wonderful.

I also love Prospero’s and the word picture you painted of it. 

Cynthia was an interesting character to read. I love how you turned cocktail making into something akin to Potioneering and of course Severus would be a snob and it pleased me to no end to see her getting the best of the interaction. I also loved how she’s intuitive and realised that Severus was obviously jealous even through his veneer (aha) and that she was kind enough to offer him a relocation so they could have an uninterrupted evening.


I also loved Aaron, especially that line about men and patience. It was a really good piece of advice, kind of how when I got married my male friends felt the need to make an intervention and tell me that ‘all men are idiots and we’re very keen on doing anything you want us to do, but also like we said, we’re idiots and therefore need to be told in no unclear way that it’s important for you that we do whatever it is you want us to do else we simply won’t because we can’t guess what’s going in your mind’. I feel like it’s the kind of advice that just sticks with you for life and I know a series of women who really need to be the recipient for this so I’m just going to start quoting this to all my friends, kthxbai. 

I loved how she managed to extract herself from the table-tennis of insults and mockery and turn the conversation into something earnest.

I just wrote a 1000 word review for this chapter which is a lot but I loved it. To end this I’d just like to add that the moment Severus Snape decided to let go of her rather than lose her was the moment I fell truly and irredeemably in love with him.

That is all.

Love, Maria

 



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 08:01 PM · For: Chapter 9: Legilimency

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!

The parallel between Dumbledore and Lucius Malfoy is not lost on me. Dumbledore, for all his kindly attitude, is cut from the same cloth as Lucius. I swear, it’s a wonder he wasn’t in Slytherin - come to think of it, I have no idea why he wound up in Gryffindor. Ravenclaw I’d get, same for Hufflepuff. But Gryffindor? I don’t buy it.

They’re definitely not friends. They’re friends too, but they’re friends who’ve been spending a lot of time bumping uglies, so I resent that.

I’m a little confused by this chapter. There seems to be an omniscient narrator happening? It’s a little odd after having POV’s but I’m actually impressed you pulled it off - I personally have a lot of trouble writing an omniscient narrator.

Okay, so that explains why she’s okay with him being a Death Eater - she’s just okay with him having a past as a Death Eater, though not so much by his present status as one. 

OMG, the magic she does with the smoke? THE MAGIC SHE’S DOING WITH THE SMOKE? (I just read the note at the end of the chapter, thanks for that!)

Brilliant. Just… masterful.

She basically has a wall around her? Why? How? Is this something natural?

Poor Miranda. Dumbledore is a wanker - yes, I’ve been trying to avoid using the word in the comments because I’m not a complete savage, but he deserves it. That was the most cold-hearted thing to ever have been done, ever. I get that perhaps that was some misguided attempt to protect Severus’ privacy, but making him torture the woman he’s seeing, the first woman he’s been into since Lily? It’s just cruel and just beyond what any words can convey. 

He’s a monster, there, I’ve said it. 

Damnit, now we learn about David. David is Miranda’s Lily and it breaks me.

By the way, can I just say how I appreciate the fact that she has no far to use Voldemort’s name? She’s an American, she doesn’t have these British compunctions about something that she didn’t live through, I feel like that’s very realistic.

Shit, come on Miranda, don’t do that! I thought we had agreed that forcing yourself into people’s minds and reading them forcefully was a bad thing! 

Still, it’s good to see that they broke the pattern of him hurting her, her hurting him worse, etc etc. 

Love, Maria

 

 



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 07:32 PM · For: Chapter 8: Dinner at Eight

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!


“Hem, hem, bad news?” Professor Umbridge twittered next to him, trying to read over his shoulder.


Woman I WILL smack you if you don’t lay off him. I’m now very invested and I don’t mind if Lucius or Voldemort ruin it, but I’m not allowing some two-bit movie-extra character (at BEST) to get her grubby little child’s fingers on this.


*cough* So Umbridge annoys me apparently? Spot on, great job, love to hate her, but seriously wouldn’t mind if she fell into the Lake and the Giant Squid took a chunky bite off her. It would hardly change the canon anyway, she was always minuscule, people will hardly notice if, say, her arm is missing.


"We're having a little tart over for dinner.”


… You did NOT. Oh, God, you did! You actually brought both of Severus’ worlds crashing together, how dare you? And how beautifully too! First the letter saying she’d be late and now this, it’s horrific in it’s evilness and so well done!


“Hell, he felt like spanking Miranda.”


… there’s a joke here but I feel it’s so easy I’m not even going to attempt it. Just know I’m laughing my ass off while my cats wonder what the hell is wrong with me.


Also that went south very fast! I definitely don’t want him to torture her, that would just be foul! 


She wouldn’t have admitted to anything else, she knows good and well that Lucius Malfoy is a damned psycho who makes her skin crawl, she’s not about to give him ammo, she’s not an idiot. 


(btw, I’m so THANKFUL she’s not an idiot, she gets into enough complicated situations without being a complete ditz)


“I must admit that I was simply dying to see such a place, but I never dreamed that I would have the chance.” 


Playing. Him. Like. A. Fiddle.


Like, it’s not only that bit, it’s the subsequent bits where she’s stroking Lucius’ ego AND Severus’ leg, I mean, that’s just… I can’t, I’m laughing so much (50% nerves because I’m waiting to see when the other shoe drops, 50% because Lucius doesn’t have a clue of what’s happening under his nose and I’m so happy about that). I’m so glad you made her strong and absolutely reckless and perfectly capable of holding her own.


“Severus’s fear that the evening would spiral out of control returned.”


Same, Sev my boy, same! I’m basically on the edge of my seat thinking ‘they CAN’T get away with this… can they?!’


“Severus and I were supposed to be fucking at least an hour ago and I'm a perfect bitch when I'm horny.”


I can’t. I swear I can’t - you’ve just reduced me to a pile of goo on the floor. I’M in love with her and I’m just reading this, poor Sev doesn’t stand a chance! This whole scene was perfect in every single aspect, it’s brilliant, it’s witty and I’m very, very impressed. There’s nothing better than a competent woman.


“intending to give Miranda a thorough tongue lashing”


Again, too easy but I do appreciate it.


She doesn’t CARE that he’s a Death Eater?! How? Why?


Love, Maria 



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 07:03 PM · For: Chapter 7: Settling Up

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!

Did she just lowkey insinuate herself into Dumbledore’s office? Somehow I expected her to consult the Headmaster about that Dark Arts business as she had meant to, rather than basically ask him for permission to date his daughter - the daughter in this scenario is Severus, yes. 

Also Dumbledore is super proud of his boi, I can tell; he definitely ships them. I for one am glad he joined me in my quest to obtain more of that super rare healing wood from Ilvermorny so we can construct a very fancy ship with healing properties to mend both their broken hearts in which they can sail toward their doomed sunset. 

Also damn you Umbridge, you’re a pest. I’m glad Miranda just told her her surname, maybe Umbridge will jump to conclusions and assume it’s her first name.

Can I just say I loved Luna? I think she was so on point, I can’t even. Just the tiniest bit of kookie and I love to see how stressed out it makes Snape. It’s not even stressed out it’s just ‘well, I give up, have this corner of the room and try not to blow up the castle, savvy?’.

HOW DOES LUNA KNOW MIRANDA’S AN AMERICAN OMG?! I don’t discard the possibility of her being psychic but still! I read this chapter this morning (In fact, I frantically read about two more this morning, because I wanted to read this even though I wasn’t reviewing as I was supposed to) and it blew my mind that she just knew!

It’s so endearing that she offered her a subscription of the Quibbler and somehow knew she was going to spend a lot of time waiting, I swear, I love Luna and I love this whole scene!

So he’s just going to spirit her away like some dirty little secret? Tsk. Tsk.

"Good," he drawled, pulling her onto his lap. "Then I can do some damage of my own."

Yes, please.

Also plot twist (foreshadowed quite skillfully), Miranda’s taking the bounty on Sirius! She has awesome instincts, I love it. 

So they won’t in fact deny their connection. Seems dangerous…? Also that password, omg.

Love, Maria

 

 



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 06:41 PM · For: Chapter 6: Werewolves in Cokeworth

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!

I love how he’s been having second thoughts about breaking it off with her and keeps trying to convince himself that he did the right thing and that it was all for the best and all the while pretty much writing poetry to her hair.

Miranda isn’t just mad, she’s a wild child of America and she rejects Severus’ expectations and will in fact fight any werewolf she damned pleases. I think it’s rather prudent and honestly admirable of him to stand back and let her do her thing - there’s nothing more irritating than a secondary character who gets in the fray when everything’s under control and mucks everything up. Main characters don’t usually have these reasonable impulses so it’s good to see some humility.

Telling her she should review her basics is such a Snape thing to say, btw, it’s my favourite thing in this chapter (and there’s a lot to like).

Such as the way he very carefully nurses her back to health - even though he’s using Unforgivable Curses to make her move like a puppet, like the misguided Death Eater he is. Come on Severus, they’re called Unforgivable for a reason!

I actually like the Professor rather than the Severus, I think it’s kind of kinky in a way.

His concern for her is rather amusing since it’s his weird brand of concern which is pretty much ‘goddamn you, I spent the past week getting you back up on your feet and you’re ruining it!’.

Also her sneaking back to bed like a child makes me love her even more, which is something I didn’t think was possible.

I now have this headcanon of Severus Snape saving the Wizarding World from Voldemort by introducing him to card games and casinos, whereby Voldemort gets addicted to gambling and the world is now safe because the Dark Lord is a bit too into Texas Hold’em.

Love, Maria

 

 



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 04 Feb 2020 04:18 PM · For: Chapter 5: The Morning After

Hey Noelle, I'm here for CMDC Round 2!

Severus can't catch a damned break in any universe, even an Alternate one. There's this feeling of perfectly homey happiness into which he slips right in, lowering his defenses, diving head first into bed making and neck kisses.

The coffee, the toast, the marmalade, dear Lord, the paper. The picture of domestic bliss that you gangled in front of my eyes.

I was almost convinced it might stick, that this was it and that you'd spent the next twenty-one chapters just writing an ode to the unlikely pair, the sword and the shield... and then she asks that one innocent question that completely cracked the illusion.

I don't know what it is with writers that we feel the need to completely and utterly torment our characters. 

I wonder why he felt the need to break it off aggressively. Was it because anger is easier than sadness and longing? Then again that one sentence she said, you know the one,

"Please. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such a pathetic display of eagerness and gratitude as you provided last night. How long had it been? A year? Five years? Ten?"

was what I like to call a Million Shades of Nope. It's the sort of thing you would only say if you were really, REALLY keen on hurting someone and that you otherwise bury deep inside yourself regardless of whether it's true or a lie. Miranda would have for sure been a Gryffindor.

Love, Maria

 



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 11:48 PM · For: Chapter 4: Take Two

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!

I’m on the first paragraph still and it’s so meaty! 

I love how she could immediately tell that Snape’s fidgety being was because he was up to no good rather than him not being into her - which is usually the first reaction in these cases, ‘oh, no, you’ve scorned me and now I shall fall into a fit of the sullens the likes of which the world has never seen before and hate you with every ounce of my little super offended soul’. 

Also, apparently he’s not the only one nursing a broken (?) heart. 

Did she just casually stumble onto Lucius Bloody Malfoy?! And did she just think about hunting down Sirius Black?! What is happening with all of these close encounters with the canon story, I’m reeling. And Fudge! God, Fudge was just one of those characters I loved to hate. 

Also Lucius - I love how absolutely terrifying you made him, the hairs on my arms are all raised. You just described the way she felt about him, and it freaked me out - also, I just realised this is the first time we’re seeing the world through her eyes! It was a seamless transition!

I love how she just stumbled upon Grimmauld Place by complete accident when there's people who would pay good money to find the place *cough*Lucius*cough*.

She wasn’t Lily, but she would do.

Hell yes, she will!

Love, Maria



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 11:17 PM · For: Chapter 3: The Queen Mab

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!

Miranda WOULD be the type of person who is chronically late, just as Sev is the type of person who’s chronically early to everything and then mopes around and gets angry that people take a lot of time getting there. In this case his frustration feels justified - poor baby, I like to think she is in fact interested.

Honestly, I feel like fees and rates would also be exciting when someone’s trying to stiff someone who hunts vamps for a living. It could just be me tho. 

I keep wondering how is this whole Miranda being a Muggleborn is going to work out with Severus’ habit of hanging out with the Dark Lord every Tuesday for tea.

Her baseball origin story is just hilarious. It’s clearly a more controlled use of Underage Magic that the usual, which in turn makes me assume that she must be very talented…? Also talking about Potions with the Half-Blood Prince, very wise, it’s right up his alley. Tsk tsk, Miranda, are you trying to make yourself likeable? 

So much spontaneity, Severus my boy! And then so much paranoia! I’m glossing over that kiss, but I’m still spinning a little from it. 

Oh come on, Voldemort, don’t you have anything better to do but to spoil my ships? Snape is your toy, sure, but even toys need a little loving every once in a while. I’m so glad Sev could turn our (least) favourite snake faced evil overlord away from Miranda’s scent - effectively sacrificing Lily for her, which is saying something. 

Love, Maria



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 10:30 PM · For: Chapter 2: Snakewood

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!

I thought you might like to know the formatting for this chapter is a bit odd, huge spaces after the paragraphs.

I love the description of Miranda’s house, it’s short, sweet, up to the point and tells us a lot about her. I generally skip descriptions of physical spaces when I’m reading because they’re pretty much mute in terms of usefulness and my own mental image of them is far better, but in this case the shortness and the fact that it was interesting. Also he’s just walking around peeking into rooms and closing doors of messy Potions ingredients shelves (poor Severus, he’s bound to clean them at some point) and she’s just letting him!

Also thank you for feeding him. The thought of that ‘one or two cans’ from chapter one was making me incredibly sad. This way at least he gets a home cooked meal from her which, in my book, is worth any ordeal.

When she told him that she was going to have to burn his clothes I was like yessss, some “oh no, I need to get rid of your clothes, you’ll have to just sit there in nothing but a towel” action, but I guess it’s pretty impressive that she can just clone them. *sighs*

“Snippets of memories started flashing before his eyes but before he could scourge himself overlong with these whips of the past, his hostess emerged from the bathroom.”

I love this sentence, it’s just beautiful. The fact that she overpowers Lily’s memory and he turns from self flagellation to just admiring her and existing in what I’m convinced is the coziest house in literature.

“Obviously,” he drawled, as though that were the worst thing a person could be.

When I said he was very British in my previous comment, this was what I meantttttttt, that pedantic idiot. Everything that’s coming out of his mouth about America is just ridiculous and I love it. If it’s not swimming in tea and under the rule of a monarch, it’s not worthy of him.

OMG she thinks he’s pretty! I like how she’s basically the Sam and Dean of her family, it makes perfect sense. ALSO SHE’S READ HIS WORK!!! Also he took a leap and then he thought he was being rejected but he really wasn’t and she gave him something absolutely priceless that’s worth far too much for just a smooch that he really enjoyed!

My heart’s just doing that loopy thing it does in romance novels (the good kind, mind you), I’m all giddy and excited.

Love, Maria

 



Name: tatapb (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 09:59 PM · For: Chapter 1: An Unexpected Encounter

I’m here for CMDC Round 2!


Well that was just a lovely, lovely read! The beats in this chapter were brilliantly set, the story breathed so well!


First you showed us poor Snape’s life when he’s on holiday, the dreary, awful status quo of bachelor life and lonely canned dinners mixed with the heart wrenching stress of being a double agent and having a far too exciting double life.


THEN you set the best of tropes, the Fake First Kiss. I love how you don’t describe what she looks like, you describe what she feels like.


I love how he just plays along with it and how she just keeps manhandling him through and through and he’s just LETTING her. I like your headcanon of how vampire dust is just, idk, dusty when they’re on an empty stomach but otherwise bloody when they’ve just snacked? It’s pretty cool. 


I dig how she lowkey inquired about his relationship status. Also, you haven’t described her at all and I just love the mental image I have of her? She’s so crude and he’s so English, it’s lovely to see them clash!


Love, Maria 



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 24 Jan 2020 08:03 PM · For: Chapter 25: Osâmbritul
Noelle,

As promised a while ago, chapter 23 review (and for the review fest.)

The beginning of the chapter was definitely Slytherin vs. Slytherin. I imagine it takes quite a bit to make a “high quality”  Slytherin break and if anyone is up to the job, it’s Severus. Yet even as he is trying to get Draco to admit his faults, he admires the boy’s ability to not cave under pressure. You set up dichotomy and irony of the conversation well.


Miss Borgin is an interesting character to add in. Of course, she fits in nicely with her last name, but I love how Snape has set her up as an informant. It takes a Slytherin to beat a Slytherin. The wringing of her hands was a nice touch to show her nervousness and help Snape decide the direction of the questioning. Plus the fact that she attended Dumbledore’s Army--random fact or possible mini plot for the future?


The ceremony to enter the Iele’s realm and the moonbeam, itself, were very descriptive, creating great imagery. Catalina seemed to know a lot more about what to do when they got their (ie where to use the nets, when not to use the Changeover Potion) Did someone give her extra hints to be successful or did she just innately know these things because of her background?


Mrs. Bella was the epitome of those people who give parents a bad name. I understand that she’s upset (and had to right to be so) but . . . well, Healer A’isha was very astute in her explanations.


The battle was everything you would expect from Miranda particularly the line about making the inevitable easy. The lele didn’t come enraged until after the children drank the potion. I assumed they thought the kids would stay trapped there, so they weren’t worried until they realized that Miranda and Catalina had a plan to change the kids back over. 


The exchange between Catalina and her father showed how much she has grown up and how he has lost his influence over her. Although he is obviously upset, he wasn’t as anger as he could have been. Perhaps the joy of having his son returned (and the pain of explaining where is mother is) has shifted his perspective a bit.

 

From the numbness to the denial to the anger, the scene with Severus learning of Miranda’s “death” was very well done. It’s nice to see a human side of him once in a while. Yes, he can be vulnerable, but adding a hint of hope at the end. . . 



Author's Response:

Hi Barbara! Thanks for coming back by my story :D

Slytherin vs Slytherin indeed--Sev is both annoyed that Draco is being obstinant, and appreciative at Draco's emerging skills.

Cassie and her connection to the DA will come into play in book 2 :)

Catalina grew up with tales of the Iele, so she knew more what to expect than Miranda did.

Yeah--Mrs Bell was really upset and didn't do a good job controling herself...although Sev wasn't the best person to have to deal with her in that moment...

I love your interpretation of the events when the guards attacked Catalina, Miranda, and the children! That's it exactly :D

Nicolae has lost a lot, and I think he may start to change for the better.

I'm so glad that Severus's dealing with grief rang true! He's a deep fellow with a complicated relationship with this thorny emotion--and I'm glad that it worked :D

Thank you for this lovely review!! I hope to get chapter one of book two up soon!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 24 Jan 2020 05:57 AM · For: Chapter 26: Scraps

Hi, Noelle.

 

A nice chapter.  I enjoyed reading it.  It really is a peaceful wind-down to a long and active story.  Of course the readers don't worry about Miranda the way that Severus does because she is the heroine and we know that you won't let her die.

 

Good characterizations of the minor characters, Healer A'isha and Mr. and Mrs. Rose.  Their appearances in the story are brief, but but you use their words and actions to the fullest extent to show us what kind of people they are.  I will confess that I didn't understand why Severus felt uncomplimented when Conor Rose said to him, "So am I, son.  So am I."  I had always considered "Son" to be a friendly form of address to a boy or a younger man.

 

Given that so much of this chapter took place at St. Mungo's, I appreciated that you provided as much detail as you did concerning the medical treatments.  It is good not to skip over them.

 

What did intrigue me was the Spiridus.  I had assumed that Miranda had used her own homing spell, but apparently not.  The Spiridus was unknown to Severus, but Catalina was familiar with it.  A creature unique to Romania?  I'm curious to know how it functions.

 

The revelation to Severus that Miranda has an eleven-year-old son certainly throws a monkey wrench into their relationship, making Severus think that she's not committed to him and will leave him eventually.  Still, I wonder how committed she is to Isaac, being parted from him so much of the time.

 

You have left us with a half a dozen dangling threads.  But even so, this story can stand alone well by itself.  Congratulations on having done an excellent job on a major work.

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thank you so much for encouraging me on this journey!! I have really appreciated it.

I like that you found this chapter peaceful--the story goes at a pretty quick pace, and I'm glad that I was able to slow it down enough to bring it to a reasonable conclusion. 

These minor characters will be coming back in the subsequent books so I'm excited that they were interesting, even in this brief glimpse we get of them.

I do think that an older person referring to a younger person as 'son' is generally considered polite--but I can't imagine that Severus would like being called 'son' by anyone. I'm not sure if Conor really meant to insult Sev, so much as he was upset about the whole situation, and perhaps came off as terse, and Sev took it personally, because Sev is already on edge too.

The St Mungo's scenes were a little outside my comfort zone--but I persevered!

A Spiridus is a creature from Romanian folklore--they are generally helpful fairy creatures. Back in the chapter when Miranda captured the birds of paradise, a Spiridus came and she gave it one of the bird's feathers. This creature then came back and helped her escape from the Iele.

Yeah--Severus and Miranda have a lot of talking to do. Soon!

Yay--I was trying to both tie up this story enough that it could stand alone, and leave enough hanging that it could keep going.

Thank you so much for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 24 Jan 2020 04:38 AM · For: Chapter 25: Osâmbritul

Hi, Noelle.

 

Another imaginative and original chapter here.  You depict the weirdness of the world of the Iele very well, not only its differentness but also its creepiness.  The description of Miranda's and Catalina's trip to the world of the Iele is fascinating.  Yet this other world is totally baffling.  It is plain that Miranda (like us readers) understands nothing of the nature or the internal rules of this alternate world, how it functions, what it all means.  

 

" 'I don't understand!' Miranda said, frustration creeping into her voice."  We readers feel the same way, and yet it's obvious that we and Miranda will never understand, will never get any explanations, nothing more than the gut perception that this place is dangerous.  If the Iele accepted the gifts, then why did the jackal-headed guards attack the departing women and children?  Sometimes, even in stories, we are fated never to know.

 

The scene at the end of the chapter, in which Snape loses his rigid self-control, is at once in-character (he has lost the woman he loves) and out-of-character (he has withstood the Dark Lord countless times with his self-control).  Crying, smashing things -- this is a Snape we never see.  But not for long.  Within minutes his protective armor is back in place again.

 

A good cliffhanger at the end.  From the depths of despair to the pinnacle of hope.  And yet it's not deus ex machina; Miranda's ability to transport herself to her home has already been well-established.  The only question is, does it work across the border between the two worlds?

 

I was not sure why the sections of this chapter about Draco Malfoy, Cassie Borgin, and Katie Bell were given such prominence.  Perhaps to supply a reason for Snape to be away from Hogwarts during Miranda's critical adventure?  A foreshadowing of events that will take place in Volume Two?  A new plot thread that will carry over?  Whatever the reason, these scenes were well written, both in what you say (dialogue and action) and how gracefully you word your sentences.  One tiny concrit.  The words protégé/protégée are the masculine and feminine forms of the past participle of the French verb protéger, and because Draco is masculine, he is described as a protégé.  (Maybe you knew this already but were ambushed by Auto-Correct, as we all have been.)

 

One more chapter to go, and then we will have to wait a while for the Further Adventures of M and S.  The question burning in my mind is whether Severus will die at the end, in accordance with canon, or whether he, like Miranda, will enjoy a miraculous escape.  :)

 

Good job.

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thanks for coming back by my story :D

I kept the Iele section deliberately opaque, because I was playing on the idea that the fairy realm opperates according to rules that we humans don't understand. I'm excited to know that the place came off as creepy; and that we don't really know why the jackel guards attack at the end--except that the Iele didn't intend to let the children go.

The crying Snape is a figure that we rarely see--because he does cry when he is alone, over Lily's letter and her picture in Sirius's room at Grimmauld place during the memories in the Prince's Tale chapter. But I like how you say that he is both in and out of character here. It takes a lot to break him down that far, even for a short time.

I'm super excited to see what you think of the final chapter :D

Katie Bell's scene was to tie Moonlight back to Canon; and to introduce Healer A'isha. Draco and Cassie are there to set things up for book 2. Thank you for the concrit about protégé/protégée--I was not aware of the difference and I will fix it up soon.

I can't tell you what will happen to Snape yet :)

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 23 Jan 2020 09:45 PM · For: Chapter 24: The Tale of the Three Miners

Hi, Noelle,

 

This chapter is remarkable for the depth of the imagination that you display here.  I finished reading it by thinking, "My, there were a lot of scenes," but when I wrote them all down in a list, I realized that they were all one connected, complicated narrative, even including the opening scene in the opera house and hotel room on Tuesday night in Bucharest.

 

The amount of descriptive detail in each scene is just right -- enough to depict the scene clearly and vividly, so that I, the reader, feel as though I'm there in the location with the characters -- but not so much as to overwhelm the plot line.  You have the skill to do this consistently well.

 

Characterization of your two principals is excellent as usual.  A character like Miranda always runs the risk of being too perfect, doing everything too well (after all, she once defeated a tebo), but you manage to include scenes where she is not completely successsful, such as the argument scene in the Bucharest hotel room and the meeting with the demon cat in the mines that results in her possession by the demon.

 

Snape is Snape, and while you show tiny, brief changes in his behavior, you wisely depict him as constantly reverting to his default personality -- snide, sarcastic, insulting, apparently unfeeling, but plainly defensive to the maximum.  This guy is wearing a suit of psychological armor a meter thick, and your description of the demon-engendered ghost of Tobias Snape perfectly explains why Snape wears this armor 24/7.

 

Your scenes, although various (thanks for keeping the vision always fresh), are well linked, not only in this chapter but throughout the story as a whole, with constant references to details that tie all the parts of the story together -- the river, the bridge, David, Columba, for example.

 

I loved the part where Snape, in his desperation, uses the sacred water to combat the demon, "...the most spiteful and defiant use of the sign ever made by an unbeliever on this earth before or since", not long after he had said "This is hardly the time for superstitious nonsense."  This action by him parallels his acceding to kiss the icon in the Wood Church when Miranda reassures him, "...you don't have to mean it."  

 

It was notable that when Snape enters Miranda's mind by legilimency, where she is seeing demonic manifestations of her departed loved ones, Snape himself sees a demonic representation of his father, although Snape was not the person initially possessed.  Hmm.  How does that work? I'll have to cogitate on it.

 

You end with an excellent image, "...watching the wisps of clouds drift above them through the endless sky."  So peaceful and restful after all they have been through.

 

This was a really good chapter.  Thank you for writing.

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thank you for coming back by my story :D

I am soo excited that you called this monster chapter one long narrative--almost one long scene--despite the various locations. This is the reason that my chapters sometimes vary in length; because I write episodically and I will just make a chapter as long or short as the episode requires. This makes for some very short ones (like chapters 1 and 5) and some very long ones (like this baby here). 

Learning to describe things has been hard for me, and I'm soo glad that the work has paid off :)

I'm also jumping up and down excited that you've enjoyed my character work. When the reader first meets Miranda, I feel that her good points are much more obvious than her faults. This chapter really highlights her faults; and they will also be on fine display as the narrative continues in books 2 and 3.

You're so right about Snape having psychological armor a meter thick. He's the product of his upbringing, and he has not yet come to a place where he is truly safe enough to work on himself and take that armor off.

I loved that part with the holy water too :)

The demon of the mine's behavior was modeled on its behavior in the story that Nicolae tells in chapter 16; where the evil spirit is able to mess with all three of the miners. The Spirit has taken over Miranda here, but Snape has some protection from the prayers that  Catalina says right before he casts legilmency. But since his mind is touching Miranda's, he is still vulnerable to attack. 

I'm so excited that you liked the ending--and this chapter altogether. It's one of my very favorites!

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 20 Jan 2020 07:49 AM · For: Chapter 23: Summer of Discontent

Hi, Noelle.

 

This chapter has many successful scenes.  In particuar I liked the scene between Severus and Albus, whose voice you have captured very well.  You also capture his tendency to manipulate people rather cold-bloodedly, which we don't see in the first few HP books but which becomes apparent in later volumes.  And I admire your ability to weave new explanatory details (Missing Insights, we might call them, analogous to Missing Moments) into stray minor events of canon, bringing them more closely into the plot.

 

The scene at the memorial gathering for Sirius Black was also particularly well done.  Severus is a complex guy in a complex situation, having to keep so many considerations straight at the same time, almost all of which make him suffer -- no wonder he hates his life.

 

I am glad that he has figured out a way to go to Bucharest after all.  And I appreciated the tiny glimpse we see of Charity Burbage, her personality and her surroundings, since canon shows us almost nothing of her.

 

A good chapter.  Thank you for writing.

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thanks for coming back by my story :D

I think that Rowling did a great job on Albus's character reveal throughout the books. At first he seems pretty beneign, but as the series progresses, more and more of his flaws come out. I do wonder if, while he was preparing for death, his sense of urgency caused him to be even more cold-blooded than he was earlier--or maybe that tendancy was always there. In any case, I'm glad that this scene between Albus and Severus rang true. 

When I realized that Sirius never got a memorial in the books, I was so mad that I had to include one in Moonlight--I'm glad that it was effective too. And I agree, Severus's life is pretty stinky right now.

I would like to write more of Charity--I hope she will show up some in the next book.

I can't wait to see what you think of Severus's adventures in the next chapter.

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 18 Jan 2020 11:52 AM · For: Chapter 14: Cruciatus

Hi, Noelle. Very sorry for your waiting. Finally, I could come back to your story.

 

What is great in this chapter, Snape's emotional struggle between Lily's shadow and Miranda who looked barbarous and reckless is brilliantly written. Readers can't stop holding their breath at the moment when Voldemort tortured him being afraid that the Dark Lord might see through Snape's feeling towards Miranda. I was very relieved when I caught Arthur Weasley in the story. I also was startled to find Harry Potter in his mind and I rembered this story was HP universe as well. You created so much original fandom using J.K.Rowling's world, which we enjoy very much.

 

I also thought it interesting you developed their relationship evenly, I mean you set two similar situations, being helped by their partner or saving the other each other. This development shows their mental bond was getting deeper and deeper. At the same time, you kept describing sarcastic remarks of Severus Snape at each scene, many kudos on your effort. 

 

Though I am very slow, keep posting the review request. I'll come back.

 

K

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi Kenny! Thanks for coming back by my story :D

I'm excited that you enjoyed the juxtaposition of Lily and Miranda in Severus's mind. Sev had to go through a lot in this chapter, but he managed to keep Miranda safe once again. 

I'm also glad that you're enjoying all the original stuff I've added to JKR's world; I do excpect the next book to have more of the canon characters in it, too.

The similar situations in this chapter, and Sev and Miranda taking turns taking care of each other was important to me, and I think important to their relationship too, like you said. 

The sarcastic remarks take me a while to come up with--thank you for the kudos!

Thank you for this lovely review :D

Yours,

Noelle



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 07:26 PM · For: Chapter 5: The Morning After

Hi Noelle, sorry it took me so long to get here!

 

I really enjoyed this chapter! It felt short and simple but still managed to get so much information across. I loved the change in the relationship dynamic between Severus and Miranda (if it seems to good to be true, it usually is, right?) and also the seamless switch in character perspectives. I love the way you dangle these little tidbits of domestic bliss in front of Severus before you snatch them away again. But it was very sweet of him to kiss the back of her neck the way he did while she cooked him breakfast. I was a little sad they parted in bad terms by the end of this chapter, actually! They are just so comfortable around each other--the breakfast scene is just so cute, okay?--and for Severus to experience ease like probably means he's found the one, hmm. It probably won't end well, though :P

 

I really liked how you managed to convey a bit more about Miranda just through the furniture and objects in her house, like the drawings on the wall. It's a subtle and effective way to build character.

 

My favourite part of this chapter though was the clashing of their work. It's almost like a forbidden love, which I'm an absolute sucker for. I actually felt the happy bubble of domestic bliss pop when Miranda asked Severus about Dark Magic activity. Ugh, just let the kids be happy! But it definitely made Severus snap to attention, I think, and he kind of realised where he was. I really loved it, and it makes me all the more excited to see how their relationship develops as she continues to investigate. I can only imagine there'll be a showdown by the end and I'm totally here for it! I also loved how fast they went from being all smoochy to complete name-calling. They're such passionate characters and it's so great to read. You write them really well!

 

P.S. Miranda procrastinating being virtuous is a mood.



Author's Response:

Hi Bianca! Thank you for coming back by my story :D

You're right about that--if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. I'm delighted that you are enjoying the back and forth here--like Sev /could/ be happy--except that he can't.

Using the setting to convey information about character is something I'm still learning to do so it's awesome to know when it is working :)

I also am a sucker for forbidden love--and their work is totally what is getting in the way (among other issues). I'm delighted that you could feel the scene shift when Miranda asked him about the Dark Magic, as that's just what I was trying to do.

LOL about the procrastinating virtue :D

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 11 Jan 2020 05:19 AM · For: Chapter 22: Sânziene

Hi Noelle,

 

What a beautiful chapter.  It's a surprising and welcome change of story pacing because, although the competition between Miranda and Catalina is still officially going on, the artificial rivalry between the two women is fading away and their essential friendship is re-emerging.

 

The meadow is lyrically described, and the appearance of the Sânzianā is dreamlike.  I like how you have taken the old myths and fairy tales of rustic Romania and utilized them in your story as fully accepted facts.  Perhaps the absence of Severus and his thorny personality in this chapter has allowed this transformation of mood.

 

I had to smile at the part where Miranda and Catalina climb up the cliff on a rope.  It struck me as being in the same spirit as some of the risky maneuvers that I lay onto my own characters sometimes.  I'm very glad that they made it to the top.

 

I am enjoying this story very much.  Lots of good variety and imagination.

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thank you for coming back by my story :D

I'm so delighted you liked this chapter! It was nice to have a break from the drama and from Sev's thorny-ness.

I'm glad they made it to the top too, and that it was exciting! It can be fun to test characters like this, right?

And I'm glad that you enjoyed the way the women are starting to make up--the rivalry wasn't very good for either of them.

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 10 Jan 2020 07:08 AM · For: Chapter 26: Scraps

Noelle, first of all, congratulations on finishing this story!! It's a tremendous accomplishment, and I have enjoyed reading it and I eagerly await the next installment. I've been worried I won't be able to leave a review that would do this chapter justice because there's so much happening here and it's all so good. But I'm going to try!

 

I like how you write all the St. Mungo's characters and procedures. That whole welcome procedure is...really not efficient for emergencies, holy cow! I cracked up at "no, the Kansas in Northumberland" - that was so good.

 

I really loved meeting Miranda's parents, and especially how you wrote her dad and his eventual, slightly grudging respect and acceptance of Severus.

 

His mental list was so fun to read, and darkly humorous. I also enjoyed how you concocted this idea of him hexing an aluminum can down the street to take out his frustration.

 

I could just see his head trying not to implode when Catalina mentioned Miranda's son. I'm glad you left that unresolved here. This line struck me in a particular way that I'll share with you, and I have no idea whether I'm just imagining things and way off base or whether you intended it to have this effect: A son. David Clearwater’s son.  

 

So it seemed to me to parallel the whole Lily-James-Harry thing. Like in Severus's mind, Harry is just a reminder that Lily went and had a child with another man. And he thinks of Harry very specifically in terms of being "James Potter's son." And while clearly he does not have the same animosity for David as he does for James - having never even met him - it's interesting that when he learns Miranda has a child he thinks of him as "David Clearwater's son." Like she had a child with the man she really loves, who is not Severus (in his mind anyway).

 

Anyhow.

 

I very much enjoy Luna's having given Miranda books to read while she recovers, and their whole conversation about tea parties with thestrals!

 

I am eating up the unresolved issue of their feelings for one another and how we see they are both thinking almost the exact same thing. And it's so relatable, because even though most of us do not have lives quite this epic, to some extent I think we are all familiar with this little dance (well, maybe people who are really healthy and have great communication are not familiar with it, but I sure as hell am).

 

Some of my favorite lines and snippets!:

 

"We are all dying, Professor Severus."

--I really like Healer A'isha's manner!


"But damn if she don’t scare the shit out of me something regular. I suppose every father comes to the understanding that he can’t protect his children, ‘specially once they’re grown. But most fathers don’t have to watch their girls get cut to pieces by things that ain’t supposed to exist except in nightmares or Hell. Humbles a man."

-- This is so poignant, and in general I like how he expresses himself!

 

It hadn’t been enough, but he hadn’t had a choice. 

--*sob*

 

“Do you think she’d let me come along?”

“Of course she would, she delights in the ridiculous."

 

I'm almost certain there are a few I've missed!

 

Great job, Noelle, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with next!

Melanie



Author's Response:

Hi Melanie! Thank you for coming back by my story :D

Gosh thank you!!! Sharing this with you has been such a joy.

St Mungo's inefficiency is inspired by the Ministry's inefficiency. Luckily the Healers know what they are doing.

I'm so glad you liked her parents--I love them too :D

The list surprised me--but when I started writing it, it just seemed to fit--I'm glad you liked it!

You are sooo right about the way he's thinking about Isaac as David Clearwater's son--that she had a kid with the man she 'really' loves and not Severus. That's so sad! Thank you for pointing it out to me!

There will be more about Luna and the Thestrals soon.

I also fail in the communication department sometimes--so I'm glad to know that this ending is relatable! I hope they'll work their stuff out soon :P

Thank you sooo much for this wonderful review!!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 05 Jan 2020 06:01 PM · For: Chapter 26: Scraps

Here I am again, back for our swap!

And before I dig into the actual review... CONGRATULATIONS!!! Finishing a novel is a big accomplishment and you've done such a great job with this! You should be so proud! <3

I do have a complain, though...what about Isaac??? I was hoping that we would find out more about him, that Severus would confront Miranda about her child... but maybe you're saving that for book 2? I had no idea this was a trilogy, and I can't wait to dig into this universe even more!!!

Poor Miranda, she did go through a big risk this time... and poor Severus, too... he anxiety he must've felt... but of course she would make it, she's too tough... that, and you wouldn't be able to write a second novel, am I right? I do have to say, though, I would've really wanted to hex the receptionist at S.Mungo's... I understand that it is a time of war and everything, but how do you lose time with bureaucracy when a person is bleeding to death??? I'm speechless! Thank goodness for Aisha arriving just at the right moment!

It was interesting to see Severus meet Miranda's parents. I love that her father was so wary at first, but eventually warmed up to him once he realized how much Severus cared... I think I've already told you, but I really enjoy seeing Severus out of the usual overbearing teacher context. I like how his interactions with Miranda's family and friends make him look more human and how he seems much more relaxed in their company... I mean, he's never exactly relaxed, but you know what I mean... ;)

Severus' reaction at finding out about Isaac was so very in character. I love how both he and Miranda eventually come to terms with the fact that they are in love with one another, even if neither is disposed to confess it just yet. And I love how there is this sort of parallel in the end, with Miranda worrying about Severus' double agent's job. It's like they are both condemned to constantly worry about each other's safety. Which is painful, but also interesting. They are so different and at the same time have so much in common and I love that!

Ah, Luna! I love that girl! Does she really get tea with the Thestrals? I wouldn't exclude that... :P

I'm so, so proud of you for completing this huge project! You crafted such a compelling, original and well rounded story and I'm still a bit disbelieving that it's ended! I'll be eagerly waiting for the sequel now!

Wonderful job! And thank you so much for the swap!

Snowball hug,

Chiara 



Author's Response:

Hi Chiara! Thank you for coming on this journey with me :D

I will tell you all about Isaac in book 2, I promise! And I'm so excited that you're interested in reading more about these characters!!

The St. Mungo's bit is a venting of my frustrations with hospital bureaucracy for sure.

It is nice to write Sev being something other than overbearing all the time. And I'm so glad you liked Miranda's parents!

I'm also so glad that this moment at the end was in character for Sev! He would manage to realize he loves someone AND turn that into a negative thing.

Luna really does have tea with the Thestrals--more on that anon.

Thank you sooooo much!! I'm so thrilled that I got to share this story with you. 

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 05 Jan 2020 10:37 AM · For: Chapter 25: Osâmbritul

Hello, Noelle, my dear! I'm here for our swap! :)

So... she's alive? I knew you couldn't kill her! I was absolutely in shock when she was trapped in the Iele's world, I couldn't believe it was happening... but the Spiridus saved her, right? Looks like giving it the feathers wasn't a bad idea in the end! I really hope she actually made it out safely!!!

But let's go with order...

Ah, Draco... I do feel bad for him? He's just a kid, he shouldn't have to deal with all that mess... Though he draped himself across the chair in an imitation of his incarcerated father I have to say, this line amused me a little bit. He's still the same conceited boy after all, isn't he? Ah, Purebloods... *rolls eyes*

"Detention. Wednesday night. I will not take cheek from you." Ahahah, this was so amusing too! That's such a Severus thing to do! :P

I like Cassandra Borgin :) It's always nice to meet an outside-the-box Slytherin, I like the idea of her being the only Slytherin in the DA. She reminds me a bit of my Samantha Rosier, which is amusing, since you just read a chapter in her POV :P That's a fortunate coincidence, isn't it? ;)

I like that Severus "recruited" her to spy on Draco. And the mixed feelings he has about it. You really give him a lot of complexity and I appreciate it a lot.

Poor Sev, he's so frustrated about so many things... and now he has to deal with Katie's anguished parents, too... thank Merlin Healer Aisha was there and could make Mrs Bell see reason! It must be so hard for the Bells... but I did find the whole scene at S.Mungo's to be quite amusing once again! :P

And we come to the great event! Miranda and Catalina are leaving on their mission to save the children! As always your descriptions were incredible, of the ceremony and then of the inhospital land of the Iele and then of the palace. It was all so, so good! You have a great talent at picturing fantastical settings, you should write children's novels, you would be so good at it!

The mission was going even too smoothly, to be honest... I was waiting for something bad to happen... and then, all of a sudden, they were attacked right at the door. And then you almost made me believe that Miranda was doomed! How dare you??? Typical Miranda, btw, staying behind to give Catalina and the children the time to escape! I thought Catalina would complain against her victory, I wasn't expecting her to accept it but to choose to honour Miranda's cause with it and "betray" her father! But I think I love the way you did it even more! It's much more fitting for her character, I think, and I also love the idea of Catalina wanting to actively help the Order's cause! I wonder if Doamna Lupul actually had foreseen all this? She already had a letter to Dumbledore ready, I'm quite sure she was hoping for this outcome, if not anything else ;)

Poor Severus! He was so devastated when he thought that Miranda was gone! And it's not surprising... especially since he already lost Lily so tragically and he was just starting to feel love again... but she's alive, so all is well... right? I will be very angry at you if she's not, just saying...

I'll get to the next (THE LAST!!!) chapter asap!

Wonderful job as always!

Lots of love and snowball hug,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Hi Chiara! Thank you for coming back by my story :D

This is exactly the feeling I was going for in this chapter ;)

I feel bad for Draco too--he's in a terrible position, and he's still just a kid.

I really enjoyed Samantha Rosier too and I can see some parallels between her and Cassandra! I'm glad you like her.

Frusterating and amusing was just what I was going for with the St. Mungo's scene. I feel bad for pretty much everyone in that scene.

I think that Doamna Lupul did foresee this happening. I'm glad that the end of the quest was satisfying. Sorry (not sorry) for scaring you about Miranda :P

I feel really bad for Sev at the end! It's pretty awful here.

Thank you so much for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 05 Jan 2020 06:19 AM · For: Chapter 21: Dust to Dust

Hi Noelle,

 

This is a complicated chapter.  I am impressed by the way you keep so many plot threads on track and by how you mesh your own story with the canon events of OotP.  Again, a variety of very diverse scenes in a variety of places, some action-filled and some calm.

 

That's a pretty horrible image that the chapter starts with -- Snape actually killing someone with the A-K Curse as part of his role as a supposedly loyal Death Eater.  It makes me look back in the books to get a more precise handle on what Snape did and when he did it. The events of this chapter occur during the latter part of Harry's fifth year, and by the latter part of Harry's sixth year (Chapter 33 of HBP) Dumbledor asks Snape, "How many men and women have you watched die?" and Snape replies, "Lately, only those whom I could not save."  And this is the guy that Miranda is falling in love with.  I hope she never knows about it.  Life is complicated.

 

You have built up the nail-biting suspense in the section where it appears as if Miranda will have to appear before the Dark Lord because we can't think of any way to get her out of it, and then suddenly we're chasing the footprints of Harry and Hermione into the Forbidden Forest and the whole story has veered off in a direction we didn't foresee.  Clever plotting.

 

All in all, this is quite a story. richly developed but with a good story arc.

 

Vicki

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thanks for coming back by my story :D

Keeping track of all the plot threads is tricky for me--and this is one of the chapters that illustrated that. I've been trying to be more diligent about outlining because of this, at least with my longer works.

Life is for sure complicated :P

I'm so excited to know that the tension worked in this chapter! Although I hated to steal some of Severus's thunder by having Miranda help him track Harry and Hermione (since in the books he must have done it all himself) it was a scene I really wanted her to be there for. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 05 Jan 2020 03:44 AM · For: Chapter 20: Magdalene

Hi Noelle,

Aha! Another distinct change of scene.  A church in England.  I can always count on you to keep the narrative fresh.  The writing is full of those enriching details that you are so good at -- Severus's unhappy memories involving the charity box at the Cokeworth Priory, and his observation about Molly Weasley's choice of costume.

 

Another encounter with Lucius Malfoy. He continues as you have depicted him in earlier chapters -- putting on a bold face, but actually a coward at heart.  I think that that is an accurate take on the canon Lucius.  He doesn't really have any strength except what he derives from being an underling of the Dark Lord (for as long as that lasts).

 

You have written the very awkward scene between Severus and Miranda extremely well.  Severus, who under normal circumstances never lacks for a retort or repartee, can barely force himself to express his thoughts, using circumlocutions.  And I love how Miranda enables him to dig himself in even deeper by saying, "I see you have a plan," when she already knows that she could blessedly cut his tortuous exposition short by simply telling him, up front, that she's not pregnant and in no danger of becoming so.

 

I also loved the moment when he realized he'd been an idiot.

 

It's touching that Severus actually begins to entertain fleeting visions/fantasies about himself as a father.  I have read several AU fics in which Severus survives the Battle of Hogwarts and does become a father (with the mother of the child conveniently out of the picture), focused on the relationship between him and his child.

Thanks for keeping us unfailingly entertained.

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thanks for coming back by my story :D

I really loved writing the beginning of this chapter--both because I got to delve into Sev's past a little, and because it turned out to be so much fun to write Sev and Molly's awkward conversation.

Lucius just keeps being bad in this book. It'll be a challenge to figure out what to do with him in the next one...

I'm so glad that the awkward scene between Sev and Miranda went well. I sort of hated writing it because it was so embarassing--but I'm glad to hear that it was worth it :D

Thank you so much for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 05 Jan 2020 02:42 AM · For: Chapter 19: Spiridus

Hi Noelle,

 

I particularly liked the great peacefulness of the first half of this chapter as Miranda floats along the river in her little boat, passing lazy, sunny hours in the unpopulated natural beauty.  She is such an energetic person, such a doer, that this enforced idleness is a real change of pace for her and for the story.  One cannot help feeling sorry for the little birds, innocent victims of wizardly affairs far beyond their understanding or control.

 

I see that you have given us another little clue about Miranda's unhappy secret, memories of which seem to be triggered by ordinary, everyday thoughts and experiences.  Perhaps that's the nature of secrets.

 

And it's good to see that Miranda and Catalina are making rentative steps back towards friendship again, or at least peaceful co-existence.  They are both toughie nuts, each one carrying a lot of her own baggage, but with the potential of getting beyond that.

 

Sorry to see that Miranda got sick.  Stress does depress one's immune system.  Sickness must be hard to endure for someone who tries to live her life as a second Wonder Woman.  But, true to her form, sickness doesn't keep her down for long.

 

Thanks for writing.  You always keep it imaginative, unexpected, and interesting.

 

Vicki/Oregonian



Author's Response:

Hi Vicki! Thanks for coming back by my story :D

I feel sorry for the birds in this chapter too. I'm delighted that you liked the peacefullness of the river :D

This is indeed the nature of secrets, as you say.

Miranda and Catalina are both tough nuts for sure--I'm glad that they are starting to make up here too.

The cold in this chapter sort of surprised me when it happened--we so rarely read about powerful characters getting sick--but I was happy with how it turned out.

Thank you for this lovely review!

Yours,

Noelle



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