Hi Chiara! :) Dropping by for our review swap - super, super late, I know and I'm sorry!
Ahhhhh omg, so this is how it connects to your Jimmy Portman world! I love that you kinda redeemed Peter a bit, by having him go and take Harry and run - perhaps it's not the bravest thing because he should really have explained it all to Lily and James, but it's still brave: taking a kid and running to draw Voldemort away from James and Lily, so that they and Harry can all be safe. As much as I like that in canon, Peter isn't really redeemed by simply not killing Harry (at least, not in my opinion, haha), I like that here you show a different side to him, maybe what he would have done if he could have.
And Remus! Poor, poor Remus! I feel so much for him in this, even though he isn't in it for too long - him and Peter's mother. It's so sad for him how he's still in love with Peter, despite everything, how he wants to believe Peter's not evil and not heartless, that he's fine and Harry's fine and that he didn't become a Death Eater out of choice. I love, though, how there's that conflict, though, where Remus wants to believe it but there's a sense that rationally he thinks it's not likely. And the difference in treatment Remus gives to Peter and Sirius: with Sirius it's something he personally suffered, something he's suffered all his life with Sirius believing he was the traitor, whereas with Peter it's not something he personally suffered - Harry wasn't his child, after all. And love changes things - when you love someone or care about someone, you are more inclined to let things go, it's so true. Poor boys.
My heart breaks for James and Lily, though - how they lose a child and a friend on the same evening, how they then find out they're pregnant again but it's so overshadowed by the loss of Harry. It's so so horrible for them - even if it does save Harry :/
And Neville as the boy who lived! :P
As always, your writing was so so good in this. You really brought all of the characters to life and dealt so well with the quick time-skips and changes and how they grew throughout the story into almost exactly who they were in canon. I loved your Remus and Peter and their turbulent, difficult relationship from friendship into love and then beyond that (though never quite beyond :P). This was such a great, great story and I loved it :)
oh my god chiara is this going to be a PETER PETTIGREW RAISES HARRY POTTER FIC
I SURE DID NOT SEE THIS COMING
Look I honestly don't know why anyone faced with Voldy would try any spell other than the good ole AK, he's definitely gonna kill you and i'm pretty sure the ministry won't put you in azkaban for murdering Voldemort
ohhhhh my goooodnesssssss i was hoping somehow that the Potters would be reunited, but of course Harry is still missing, this is the worst! By which I mean I am extremely emotionally invested in it and I love it a lot!
Remus. Remus John Lupin. Remus you look at me when I'm talking to you. Are you listening? Are you? Listen to this: YOU ARE THE WORST. drop peter! drop him like he's a tonne of bees!!!! you can't still love him, he KIDNAPPED YOUR FRIEND'S BABY AND IS LEAGUE WITH LORD VOLDEMORT.
oh my god PETER why would you WRITE A LETTER why are you the WORST UGH I HATE THIS (i love it) REMUS PLEASE S T O P
I mean obviously I talk a big game, but in that kind of life-or-death situation, what would I choose? I never want to find out but I don't have high hopes.
oh my god, of course, that's who jimmy portman is!!!!!!
well chiara, know that I loathe everything about how this story ends and tomorrow I will eagerly devour the sequel. Everything manages to be like........................almost worse than canon? Or I guess just equally painful. How did you make an Everybody Lives equally painful? That takes a lot of skill. God, this story was masterfully told and it was such a joy to read, thank you!
I'm surprised Peter folded so quickly? Or rather I guess I'm surprised he started off resisting so strongly, I guess. But pain goes a long way. And perhaps he's thinking that if the war is over quicker, fewer people will be dead. Which, of course, is not at all how it will work but....I'm trying to justify his actions. I don't want Peter to be a bad person because you've spent the last 45k making me CARE about him, how RUDE of you.
Ah, delicious, the I'm-not-the-spy conversation. This fic is rapidly making me aware of how much of a massive sucker I am for the hot mess that is the Order just before the end of the war. I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.
" She’d found out, with stupor, that she loved the wolf as well." stupor is probably not the word you want here? But I'm not 100% sure which word you do want.
" tracing her flanks with his fingers" again, more of a like....minor correction, but I'd probably go with thighs instead of flanks? Horses have flanks, but people generally don't. update: I just googled flank and I was NOT applying it correctly to humans because I forgot how to translate horse skeletons to human skeletons?? anyway, the meaning you're going for is "waist", not "flanks", my bad. (i am not good at english, and yet....it is my best language.......)
" misterious" mysterious
OH NO IS PETER GOING TO MURDER DORCAS
OH GOD NO CHIARA DON'T DO THIS TO ME PERSONALLY
HOW COULD YOU
oh my godddd she's dead and PETER KILLED HER and i had managed to FORGET that she was dead!!!! i was enjoying her so much that I genuinely forgot that by the end of this story she had to be dead! I regret getting emotionally invested in a story where almost every character canonically dies at the end.
Oh my god Remus RUN LEAVE THIS PLACE!!!! I guess he cleaned up his vomit before he got outta there. Pete why are you the worst. Obviously I would say something about how Remus really should've had that conversation in person (though for once he has a very good justification! His girlfriend has just died!) except I really hate Peter Pettigrew and want Remus as far away from him as possible
(who am I kidding, I am HEARTBROKEN that peter pettigrew would betray me personally in this way)
Ah, Peter realising it was him or them, and then Voldemort crucio-ing him anyway!!! that was such a perfect betrayal scene. But booyyyyy I am so sad about everything. ðŸ˜” why did I read this fic that could only end in pain??
pete freezing up in battle is very good, I love it. and sirius being angry! and remus defending him! it's all so perfect!!! I like it even more that it was a surprise, and Sirius was able to rise to it and Peter not; because Sirius can roll with the punches but Peter needs the stability of having friends who can protect him specifically so he doesn't have to roll with the punches.
the way leander is becoming a fash just by Following Orders is also very good. because remus doesn't have any right to privacy!!! he's dirty werewolf scum!!!!
remus ohhh my god are you going to break things off because you don't want to give your partner the chance to make their own decision about how much danger they want to be put in by association with you, you SURE ARE aren't you bud, why are you so predictably the wooooorst
I Love Mary Macdonald. I'll fight anyone who hurts her. I love her friendship with Peter!!! I love that she danced with him and they had FUN for once. I'm so glad any time these poor children have fun.
" For a moment, she felt a point of guilt at the thought that she would bring a new life in such a dark and battered world." wooooooof, Lily, this hurt a looot. But it's so good -- and such a real dilemma.
And oh no. that voice. Is it Yaxley???
This was a delightful chapter! I love how well-paced this story is, there are so many things going on and yet it never feels rushed or like you've got too many balls in the air at once. Peter's.....downward slide, I guess, is really skillfully done too -- just as Remus is pulling away and acting real suspicious to the Marauders (i'm SO glad in this universe he has Dorcas in the know, though! at least he can have one good thing). Peter is also becoming pricklier. You have this really wonderful skill in showing how it's a slow deterioration for both Remus and Peter -- how the war/existing while werewolf is wearing them down. I cannot believe I only have two chapters to go, oh nooooo. what if i stopped here and everyone was happy(ish) and no one had betrayed anyone and no one was dead?
oh no oh my boy. jk does her metaphors for irl oppressions so poorly but it's good to see you taking them and treating them right. by which i mean: forcing him to wear the wrist band is the worst and 100% what would happen
oooh, i'm excited to see how he's fallen out with the girls? oh no he hasn't he's just ashamed of the red band. ðŸ˜” oh man, this....if remus's lycanthropy is basically an open secret, and I mean -- if he's wearing the band then it's not even a secret, everyone at hogwarts is going to know. which means that surely people would know and object to him being appointed DADA teacher? though I guess that could very well not happen in this universe. hmmmMMM.
" carrier choosing" career choosing
“You should really try the political carrier, Dor,” probably change it to "You should go into politics, Dor,"
REMUS PLEASE JUST TAKE THE MONEY. severance pay is a real thing! my boy!!! please stop making bad decisions!!!
remus i support your life choices and decision not to wear the band at school but have you thought this through, have you discussed it with dumbledore, he could help!
dorcas my girl you're making bad decisions but honestly i can't really fault you for it. we have all done very silly thing for cute people we wanna date.
!!! james as like, the Bully Everyone Fears is also very good. I'm not sure what caused the change of heart, but Remus has been saying that people have feelings pretty much since the first chapter, so I like this throughline.
Oh boys. I'm so proud of Remus for making the decision to wear that band, defiant pride in who you are is so good. And I'm glad they went out on a Fred-and-George-style prank.
I am so sad it can only get worse from here.
can i start a kickstarter for remus's self-esteem, just let yourself be happy!!! yes your relationship with peter is a dysfunctional mess, but it's high school, any high school relationship is going to be a dysfunctional mess!!! let yourself have good things!
oh my god peter pettigrew are you gonna shag a boy in the shrieking shack after showing him how to get past the whomping willow i swear to god
" if Aunt Druella had a syncope" I think it would make more sense if you said "If Aunt Druella fainted", but apparently they refer to syncope as a countable noun in medical journals, so it's not wrong?
" a bit paranoiac" a bit paranoid
remus you did incredibly poorly in that interview, 3/10, were you even trying. "the family dog" my arse.
oh no oh nooooo my children!!!!! doing a protest!!!!! aaaaaaah, i love this scene, it was so cute! remus laughing! "i've never seen them before in my life" and then immediately addressing them by name, oh my goddddd SO PERFECT
" reversing all the content" spilling the contents on the table
ah boy the yaxley scene was DELICIOUSLY ominous, I loved it a lot. When he wishes Peter dead and then hopes he'll be there -- gah so good.
This chapter was delightful! There was a real good balance of the different story lines you're juggling (absolutely perfectly, I might add -- I don't think I mentioned it before, but seriously, you're so good at weaving all the different threads together) and the development of anti-werewolf legislation is so well done! man, I love this fic a lot and I am sorry this review is quite short? I am not sure if I have any else to say about this chapter, but onto the next one!
" It was already a conquer." I genuinely am not sure what this sentence is supposed to be, but conquer isn't a noun, the noun is conquest. That said, I wouldn't say 'conquest' makes any sense here either, so uhh... I'm really not terribly helpful, I'm so sorry.
"Don't be a dumper" -- I...have never heard 'dumper' used as an insult? Obviously, there is more in heaven and earth than I've heard of, so don't take that as law, I'm just letting you know that I can't find it on the internet either.
" He kept his eyes shut, despite the burning desire to set them on his face." I am also not sure what this means?
remus why are you being like this, REMUS NO remus don't noooooo my boyyyy this is NOT the answer, you know this was sirius's fault!!!!! my boy!!!!!!
these boys are so goddamn broken, someone help them express emotion in a healthy way and deal with their conflicts oh my goddd
ohhh OH MY GOD DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT WOW JAMES
pete, my boy, if it makes you feel better, there is another option to him believing it on some level! he could have just noticed your discomfort and decided that's the thing that would hurt you most! i mean......it's a generous interpretation, but....
" He'd sort of hoped Remus would take his defenses, instead he'd just worried about his damned secret." -- should be "take his side" or "come to his defence", you've kind of scrambled them both. I think if he's referring back to the thing James said, 'come to his defence' makes more sense?
Remus my boy I think you taking the moral high ground here when you did nothing to stop them tormenting snape is a bit rich.
MY BOY WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH POOR DECISIONS
" The bald man who'd made the incision" incision is definitely not the right word? engraving, perhaps? not 100% what this is referring to, but unless he's cutting Remus open, I doubt it's an incision.
this chapter is just My Boys Make Bad Decisions: The Feature Film
I'm so sorry this review is 50% correcting you and 50% yelling "MY BOY" repeatedly. i just have no other thoughts other than [unintelligible screaming]
Oh boyyyy, Remus's relationship with Sirius and James is so GOOD. It makes so much sense and yet I'd never considered it like this before? Sirius and James think they're being nice because they'd punch anyone who was rude to him, but in terms of the parts of friendship that Remus actually wants -- like, say, feeling safe and unjudged -- they're massively falling down.
" Marlene's breast" should be Marlene's breasts
Oh my godddd i'm going to DIE he's talking to his dad and i'm going to DIE tell me when it's over i can't look
john lupin is such a champ, what a legend.
oh my god i just realised that now he'll end up ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THESE FEELINGS and i am melting in second hand embarrassment already, oh noooooooo
The fact that no one was expelled for the Mary incident but Hagrid was expelled for having a large spider as a pet even though it definitely wasn't petrifying or killing people is............a lot. why is hogwarts SO BAD at being a school.
Oh! Also, throughout the fic, you use "Madam Pomphrey" when it should be "Madam Pomfrey". I mean, it's not important, but just if you wanted to know.
Peter i'm going to PERISH please oh my god
also "famelic" is not a word I've ever encountered and I think it's obsolete? But once again, I'm not sure which word to replace it with. So we'll just have to revive this word too.
" repulsing" I'd probably change this to repulsive?
Look I'm not going to lie, I had to skim the bit where Remus actually confronts Peter, the second hand embarrassment is TOO STRONG, but that is an Emma problem, not a you problem. I'm just a weenie.
A weenie who is very apprehensive about....what will inevitably come next. I hate knowing Peter will betray-- hang on, if in this universe Neville is the chosen one, maybe he DOESN'T betray them? but that chapter coming up is called "traitors", oh goddddd
I've never seen a Remus who is reluctant to become friends with Sirius and James before -- I guess because I have some vague memory of the canon story being that they met on the train? but maybe I'm wrong -- and it's really interesting. Like, I'd always imagined that Remus a) genuinely enjoyed the mischief (obviously) and b) was....I guess, Peter-like, just Grateful To Have Friends. Reluctant to get too close, sure, but keen to do a friendship. This is not at all that Remus and I'm very excited to see where it's going. This Remus makes sense -- he would be reluctant to get involved in any trouble because if wasn't a model student, the teachers could very well just decide to ruin his life, so he wouldn't want to risk that.
OH NO, REMUS DOES NOT KNOW HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS. he's so confused by Black and Potter being nice to him!!!! Giving a crap about his mum because even if you don't know a person, you're still sad that their mum is sick. Remussssssss.
Oh no and Sirius claiming he knows how to do the silencing charm and everyone being like 'nooo it's too ~advanced', oh my goodness, I love it so much, it's the kind of thing I don't think about enough -- showing things that we know later on become really easy being hard at the beginning.
Hmm I'm kind of confused by that scene, to be honest? The one where Remus has called James a coward, it feels like I've missed something? Even though logically I didn't NEED to see Remus call him a coward, but I guess I don't know....how it happened? I dunno.
" Yet, many dowels started to finally get into place." This is not an idiom that I know of? I've googled it and I can't find any reference to it. "fall into place" is the idiom -- so it could be "Yet, all his unexplained behaviours fell into place" or "everything began to fall into place"? Again, you can tell me to bugger off if you want.
I love that James is like "not so LOUD" immediately, that's so delightful -- he understands quicker than the other two that this is actually Serious Business. But boys, this plan to like..........interrogate him until he breaks is a baaad idea. Imagine how unsafe he's gonna feel! Boys! Boys where are you going, why are you not listening to me--aaand now you've made him cry. Boys. Boys please.
The boys not even realising you have to be registered!!!!! God it's so good. And then when Peter is nervous to open his present but Remus chose it so it's probably not going to explode in his face or turn him into a canary, aaaah. Perfect.
"Merlin, no! That's poetry draught! Potter, confess! This all your fault!" -- the rest of this exchange is I guess slant rhyme, but this is not even that, unfortunately! I know that draught SHOULD rhyme with fault, but it doesn't, it sounds like 'draft'. I'm terribly sorry. Also, "this IS all your fault" or "it's all your fault" if you're trying to preserve a metre? A lot of the exchanges don't rhyme, actually, I'm not sure what it was you were going for? You might be able to put it into iambic pentameter? Or some other meter, it doesn't necessarily feel like it's in one at the moment? Gosh I'm so sorry this sounds very rude, I am liking the fic a lot!
Excuse me while I go cry at Remus's experience of being a werewolf who can be happy. It's fine, I'm fine, I'm just....crying.
(this is so long! my apologies)
"Would you really decide who you want to be, based on who your friends are? Don't you find it childish?" WOOOOOF. THERE WE ARE. there is that defining characteristic of Peter Pettigrew, I love this whole exchange with the hat so much.
"Are you? Well, I don't care. I don't think I still want to be your friend anyway." an interesting tactic, peter, given you literally just demanded to be in gryffindor based solely on the friendship of remus lupin, but....sure bud. sure. go on.
"No, of course not," Peter rebated" as far as I know, rebated isn't a word in this context?
oh noooo, that means that whole ploy about not wanting to be remus's friend was just to make him feel bad!!! peter, why are you so evil D:
" collogue in ways that felt very suspicious" well I have learnt a new word today! Obviously you can 100% tell me to bugger off, but I don't think I have ever seen that word used before? Then again, I can't think of a good word to replace it, we just don't have a verb that means the same thing, which is a shame because it's a useful word! perhaps the answer is to make this one popular again. Regardless, because all the other verbs in that phrase take an -ing, it needs to as well. Colloguing? I had to google that but it appears to be the correct way to conjugate it.
Man, the way Peter is noticing what's happening makes it weirder that it took them until second year to find out -- although, I guess if term is from september to june, and let's say we take out december for holidays, that is only eight months, so no, I guess that tracks too. I mean, surely you'd think of a lot of explanations before you settled on 'werewolf'.
" Aside Remus." should have a "from" in between there.
Man, I love the 'he deserved more' line. It's so...deliciously ominous. I love the interactions between Peter, James and Sirius right at the end here -- perhaps it's just my personal biases, but I am very excited to see how that plays out. I mean, we know vaguely how it plays out, but your Peter is different and exciting and I want to know the specifics, which I am sure you will provide in the coming chapters.
Yaxley?????? Oh my god. I never considered Peter being part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, huh.
Oh nooooo, the HEARTBREAK of having to LOCK YOUR CHILD IN THE GARAGE and then hear him suffer so!!! I had never considered how hard it must have been for the Lupins and boy am I considering that now.
Oh man, baby child Peter creeping his mother out, this is a much more evil Peter than the Peter in my head? Which obviously isn't bad, different interpretations of characters are good! With my image of Peter, there wouldn't be warning signs except for blind loyalty and he could be convinced to do anything for approval. This Peter is....darker than that. Capable of doing evil by himself.
The concept of Remus running on just as the train doors closed gave me the willies, I hate trains so much -- what if the doors close on me, what if I fall through the gap, what about PROPER SAFETY MEASURES. I mean, Britain wouldn't know proper safety measures from Adam, so...I mean, it's totally accurate. This is after all the country that had buses that you could get onto while they were moving.
I am intrigued by this beginning! A Peter who has blood connections and a local wizarding community! Remus Lupin, too small to understand the gravity of his situation! If my internet ever cooperates, I am keen to read the next chapter. I just have to actually load it.
Hey there, Chiara! Dropping by for our review swap! :)
Oh. my. gosh. Okay, so this was a hugely loaded chapter! Poor Peter! I've got to say that I've never really thought about how Peter became a Death Eater, but it makes a lot of sense that he would have been, er, well, convinced in that kind of way - with his cousin and the torture and the threats to his mother. I was so worried his mother was going to get murdered, though, so that's a slight relief :P I kinda thought his cousin was going to come back, though - they seemed to give up too easily before :/ And the way you wrote Voldemort in this, with all the cold hissing voice and the disappointment and the demanding, almost emotionless nature is so, so right for him. So creepy :P
And Remus. I loved how you included the others being convinced that he was the spy and why - it made so much sense, yk, that it was because he was on a job for Dumbledore and, well, yk, prejudice is a hard thing to un-learn when you've been taught it all your life. It's so so harsh and so difficult for him - losing your friends like that is horrible for anyone, but especially for Remus when he's fought so hard to convince himself that he deserves them and that he can have friends. And losing Dorcas as well, almost at the same time - ugh. Even though it's horrible, I did like that you included her death, as it really brought the war to life, yk?
As always your writing was so so good in this - I loved how you described Peter's fears and Remus' wolf and that the others thought that he was the spy.
As always, this is such a good story and you've really brought Peter and Remus and their whole relationship to it in a way I would never have thought could be done, yk? I can't believe there's only one chapter left! :(
Oh, Chiara. <3
Reading through this story has been an absolute joy. I just loved reading this final chapter, tragic as it is, because everything ties so flawlessly into Jimmy's story. Wow, this is truly a remarkable piece on Peter Pettigrew and the possible reasons why he acted the way he did.
Once again, I'm going to say that I really appreciate that you don't try to paint Peter as a good, misunderstood person (which a lot of people try to do with Snape, I've noticed haha), but that you just give him a fully rounded character with perhaps more flaws than the average person. I loved your ideas that he would immediately regret telling Voldemort, and that he would try to find a way to stop it -- but yet still not be courageous enough to admit the truth to James and Lily, and instead just steal Harry away quietly to avoid confrontation.
And here we see James and Lily live, and Neville become the Chosen One, and Alice and Frank Longbottom die, and the beginning of Dorea, and the loving relationship between Peter and Harry (or Peter and Jimmy, I should say, haha). Oh, I'm so happy I read this story, Chiara. You wrote this beautifully (and in some ways, I think reading Jimmy before Liar makes me appreciate this ending all the more).
My heart is so touched. Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing with me! <3
Oh, Eva! Thank you so, so, so much for reading through all this! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story and the way it ties into Jimmy and my interpretation of Peter's character! <3
Ahahah! Well, I think the difference between Snape and Peter is that Snape chose to side with the Order and tried to protect people, even if he probably did a poor job at it... and with his abusive childhood and the way he was bullied at school, I can see why people would sympathize... (why am I debating Snape, now?) Anyway, yes, I never meant to make Peter good, but I did want to make him real and at least to an extent relatable. And well, that's how I'd imagined the premise to Jimmy in the first place, Peter wanting to remedy to his betrayal and taking Harry to save the Potters while still avoiding confrontation.
And yes, this epilogue is really just setting the bases for Jimmy... :P I'm glad you liked how it all ties in and that reading Jimmy first made you appreciate the ending more! I'm not exactly sure which story should be read first, but I guess in my head Jimmy should be read before Liar (except Jimmy still needs to be finished, and I'm doing a pretty poor job at it...)
Thank you so, so, so much! It was a pleasure sharing my writing with you and I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and stick with me till the end!
Love you so much,
CHIARA WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL.
From the first word of this chapter, I knew it was going to be a painful one. You have the most brilliant ideas and headcanons about Peter, so I knew that you would depict his betrayal of the Order perfectly, but I didn't know it would be so painful, oh my goodness. I'll be the first to admit that I don't like Peter as a person, that he was cowardly and selfish in a time when his friends needed him the most, and what I appreciate about your depiction of him is that you don't make excuses for him, but you do make us understand his way of thinking a little better. It doesn't make it right at all, but we understand him, at least.
Okay, I loved the progression of the first scene, how Peter at first was stubbornly refusing to join, but as the torture wore him down, he weakened. Obviously the threats of hurting his friends and family (Remus in particular) made him worried about resisting even more than that, but the moment that truly broke him for me was right as Alistair was about to recite the Killing Curse. I thought you did a remarkable job with Peter here -- yes, he did care about his friends, but in the end, it was self-preservation that led him to rat them out.
I thought it was so tragic the way you added that scene between Remus and Sirius. We see a little bit of this in the Prisoner of Azkaban, too, where Remus obviously suspected Sirius at one point of being the spy. Here we see the reverse, where Sirius is so furious with Remus that he's just being a complete jerk about nothing. I can understand why both are frustrated, tense, and worried, though, and in the end, it's just so saddening to think that it's Peter doing all the real nasty work, and these two are fighting over nothing. Poor Remus, too, being targeted like that.
And what Peter did to Dorcas?? Ugh, goodness. I can't even begin to express my disgust with him. The amount of jealousy and petty loathing that went into his decision to sacrifice Dorcas is just nauseating and so, so self-serving, I can't even stand to think about it right now. Obviously Peter is weak-stomached (with perhaps the tiniest bit of conscience left in him) because right after Dorcas was murdered, he vomited, but I'm so, so disappointed in him. What he did to Dorcas was truly terrifying. (And right afterwards, he went to Remus and slept with him, and just. Peter. This is perhaps the worst thing you've done, behind betraying Lily and James.)
Then there's the ending. I see Peter's guilt upon betraying his friends, but the thought process that led up to his betrayal is just a complete sight to behold. He even considered just telling James and Lily that he didn't want to be the Secret Keeper, and he knew that would keep them safe, BUT HE WENT AND AGREED TO BE THE SECRET KEEPER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY TOLD VOLDEMORT. PETER.
I have no words. You handled this chapter just marvelously. I'm going to go immediately to the next chapter now, which is the last one omg! <3
Erm... I'm sorry? This chapter killed me as well, if that makes you feel any better... :(
No, Peter is not a good person, but a person nonetheless, and a bit more complex than what is normally shown... and I'm glad that you could understand him, even if you don't really like him (which I don't blame you at all for).
I'm glad you liked that first scene and Peter breaking down little by little. Yes, it was the prospect of death that definitely broke him.
In PoA is mentioned how Sirius didn't tell Remus about the switch because he thought he was the spy. I've always had this headcanon that most of the Order would suspect Remus just because of lycanthropy, which is quite sad, yes... and yes, Sirius being Sirius, he would make a big scene out of it, and of course Remus doesn't deserve it at all... at least they'll make up...
And yes, Dorcas... :( That was definitely the most awful and horrifying thing Peter has ever done... in all fairness, it was Remus who went to Peter... but yes, I know what you mean, that was absolutely unbecoming (not sure if this is the right adjective... surely it isn't strong enough, but I can't think of anything better...)
That was pretty twisted, wasn't it? I think by that point he thought himself beyond redemption, so why bother doing the right thing and renounce "personal glory"? Pretty twisted, yeah, but you know... (did I say pretty twisted already?)
Thank you so much for the wonderful review, as always!
Hi Chiara! <3
Before I get started, I just wanted to mention that I really love the way you move through the years with this story. Like, before I started, I was wondering how you would be able to write beginning from their childhood all the way to Peter's betrayal without rushing things, but you've managed to pace the story super well! I haven't felt rushed through the storyline at all, which is really great.
Okay, a lot happened this chapter. (Though can I say first how much I love your Mad-Eye Moody? He's hilarious and grouchy and tough, and his constant scolding of James and Sirius was absolutely hilarious.) When Mad-Eye Moody sent the recruits out, and they were caught in a sudden battle, I was just thinking, "Peter's...probably not going to do so well here." And yeah. Honestly, I really, really don't blame Peter. Suddenly getting caught in the midst of a frightening battle would scare anybody. But I also understand Sirius's point of view, too, like -- why is Peter here, if he's not going to be able to fight?
However, I think that Peter getting angry at Remus for standing up for him was incredibly out of line. I'm seeing a gradual sort of deterioration in Peter's personality. While he was charming and sweet as a younger boy, he seems bitter and angry more and more, especially at Lily and James's wedding. Sometimes I wonder if he even really cares about his friends all that much, except for Remus, because he rarely seems to show true joy for them when they're happy? Like, why isn't he feeling happy for Lily and James? Peter is that type of character that just makes me feel really sad, haha. :P
Also, that conversation between Remus and Leander was slightly awkward but also pretty enlightening. I don't know if I totally agree with Leander's thoughts that he's not harming anyone by doing his job, and that things would be worse if he tried to disobey the rules. I think that Leander definitely could be trying harder to not enforce the rules against werewolves, because really, in situations like this, people who are just "following the rules" are usually causing the most harm. And Remus, my dear boy, please please please don't keep isolating yourself from your loved ones like this. Don't make me sad, please. :(
AND THAT ENDING OMG. Is this where it all begins? Where Peter is so overcome by his cowardice that he accepts the invitation to join the Death Eaters? ALKSJGLDKJSG.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT COMES NEXT.
Hi, Eva! :P Snowball hug!
I'm glad the pacing was good, despite this story spanning through many years and events... I'm really happy that worked! :)
Ahahah! I love Moody! He's so... moody? :P I'm sure James and Sirius would have driven him crazy, ahahah! :P
No, poor Peter didn't do very well in battle... and no, he can't really be blame... he had a literal panic attack and that's not something you can exactly control, can you? And I suppose it is something that can totally happen to anybody in such a situation... but yeah, Sirius has a point, even if he was definitely too harsh about it...
Yes, Peter is getting more and more bitter and resentful... but that's just how he works? He hates to be considered weak, which is why he gets so angry at Remus... and he does care for his friends, but he's just too focused on everything he doesn't have at the moment... envy is a very bad thing... :(
Leander could definitely have a much more tolerant approach and try to actually make things better... but I believe he's doing what he thinks is best. But yes, poor Remus, he doesn't deserve to be treated the way he is... :( And yes, he shouldn't keep isolating himself... Silly boy... :(
Once again, you already know what's going to happen? :P
Thank you for another wonderful review!
Oh my goodness, all of the Marauders have graduated! How the time has passed, haha. Reading this scene was actually so bittersweet, because behind all of the celebration and golden sparks of their graduation was the darkness of the war continuing on outside of Hogwarts. They're all grown up now, with relationships that are more complicated than ever, and wow, there's just a lot to talk about with this chapter here.
I'm going to start with Remus, because he's one of my favorite characters in this story, and I'm so tired of the way the Ministry is treating him. The fact that he has to wear that band as a form of identification is actually nauseating to think about. It reminds me of all the other forms of identification in our world's history, leading up to horrific acts of violence against certain groups. And with the world beginning to support frightening leaders more and more... You wrote this before today's current events, but reading about Remus's arm band just makes me so angry, especially considering what's going on today. The Ministry of Magic is horrible.
And the fact that Tom let Remus go because he was making the customers uncomfortable was actually the most upsetting part about this chapter. I was just sitting here like, "You can't do that, Tom. That's so unkind of you. :(" And that Remus didn't even accept the payment that Tom was trying to give him! I can understand where he was coming from, but sometimes pride can be too harmful.
On a slightly happier note, I was actually really thankful that Remus began dating Dorcas. Though I do wonder, why did he refuse to date Peter, while being perfectly fine with dating Dorcas? Is it because he worries less about hurting Dorcas? Either way, I was just happy, because Remus seemed to like her a lot! Even if Dorcas isn't Peter, she still seems like she'll be good for Remus (which is why Peter should stop looking so angry at them, coughcough).
When Dumbledore called all of them into his office to discuss the war, I was looking specifically for Peter's reaction, and you wrote him with the perfect characterization. Like he didn't want to fight, but was sort of self-peer-pressured into it because he knew his friends would be brave enough to fight. And I think that right there is what led Peter throughout much of his life. I feel like I'm going to be devastated once you get to the part where he actually joins the Death eaters. :(
But ahhh omg that last scene was just triumphant and exciting, and you wrote it so, so well. Graduations aren't depicted too often in most HP fics, so I really loved reading your take on what would have happened! When James took the mic and began reciting a thank-you speech as though it were an awards show, I was cracking up, and when McGonagall smacked him, I totally lost it. And then Sirius smacked him, which was the best thing ever.
I just really loved reading this chapter, Chiara! You're wonderful and I love you. <3
Hi again, Eva, dear!
Yes, they are graduated and going out in the real world and things are definitely messy... bittersweet is absolutely the right description...
Yes, poor Remus, the way ministry is treating werewolves (and consequently him) is absolutely awful and unfair. I did have some very dark pages of our history in mind when I wrote that... and yes, don't even get me started about the world's politics these days... :(
Tom tried to protect himself... it was nasty and selfish, but understandable... :/ And yes, Remus shouldn't have refused the money... :(
That's an interesting question... I think it was just the right time? Like, Remus felt ready for a new relationship in that moment? Or maybe he didn't feel as pressured as he would feel with Peter? Maybe it was a mix of different elements? Maybe Dorcas just makes him feel steadier, while with Peter everything tended to be too messy? He does need her, anyway. And yes, Peter should stop looking angrily at them, especially since he is in a relationship on his own... but that's just who Peter is...
I'm glad you liked Peter's characterization in that scene, that's exactly what I was going for. He should have just said no, but he let his need to please/emulate his friends and fear to be judged get in the way... I know you already know how everything's going to end, but I guess I should apologize for the future heartbreak?
I'm so glad you liked the graduation scene! And yes, James' speech was the best part, I had a bit too much fun writing it! :P And I LOVE McGonagall! :D
Aww... you are wonderful! Thank you so much for another fantastic review!
Chiara! I am finally here for your review, which is so embarrassingly late, my goodness. But I'm so happy to be reading your story again, after this hectic month! I'm excited to get back into the plot of Liar. <3
I am still so heartbroken at the way Peter and Remus ended their relationship. I wish so badly that Remus understands his worth as a human being, that he's truly a good person and deserves the world, but unfortunately he keeps being self-deprecating about himself. When Peter offered him another chance, I was ready to scream at Remus to finally do something for himself and let himself be happy with who he loves, but he didn't. And I'm sad. *cries*
Normally, I would be fine with Peter getting a boyfriend, especially since Remus has rejected him, but his relationship makes me feel slightly angry for a few reasons. First of all, he's clearly not over Remus. It's one thing to get a boyfriend after another relationship ends, and it's an entirely different thing to KEEP PINING FOR YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND. Like, Peter even kissed Remus on the lips as a sort of good-bye. YOU DON'T DO THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, PETER. Another reason why I don't fully support Peter dating Leander is because Leander seems to be pressuring Peter a little too much into sex. It's just, Peter never really seemed to actively want it, and he also seemed scared at the thought, as well, so Leander's pushiness is not good.
And then we move onto the development of Sirius's personal troubles. Here we see the scene where Sirius finally manages to escape his mother! And I loved this scene, because I thought it was hilarious that Regulus was that scandalized at the sight of Sirius's t-shirt, and because I really liked the brotherliness between the two that you wrote. Siblings are always really difficult to write, and I thought you captured their relationship perfectly. Sirius clearly wants to protect his brother a lot, and the fact that Regulus is too scared to leave is clearly hard to hear. Ugh, I totally understand Sirius's desires to see Regulus safe and happy. </3
Oh, and then we see the absolute horror of the news that greets Remus on his birthday. (What a horrible, horrible birthday present omg .___.) I thought the fact that the Ministry would crack down on the werewolf population and be more strict with keeping track of who they are was terribly realistic, especially with the development of Voldemort and bigotry in the population. Poor, poor Remus though. (Though good on Dorcas for beginning the protest! And I loved seeing everyone who participated in that little protest, hahaha.) The way Remus lied about the dog hair was stressful but also slightly funny as well.
Last of all, we have Peter. I thought you introduced his family members so well here. We really see the contrast between Mary and everyone else in the Yaxley family. Here I'm just really grateful that Mary is as strong and full of morals as she is, because otherwise Peter would have grown up extremely prejudiced. I was proud of the fact that he rejected Balthazar...but we all know what Peter ends up doing in the end.
Wonderful chapter, Chiara! And again, so sorry for the lateness. <3
Please, please, PLEASE, forgive me for taking such an absurdely long time to reply to your beautiful reviews... I'm the absolute worst... I'm sorry... :(
Oh, I know... Remus is such an idiot when it comes to love stuff... but that's just... Remus, you know? He should give himself a chance for once in a while, but that's just not the way he functions... :(
Ah, Peter... yes, his relationship with Leander is not a healthy one... he got into it in the first place to make Remus jealous or something, I think, which is not the best precondition for a romance... and he's definitely not over Remus, even if I do believe that he cares about Leander, to an extent. And yes, Leander is a bit too pushy regarding sex, I agree...
Ah, Sirius and Regulus! I love those two! I've always thought that they were close, even if they disagreed on many things. And I'm sure Sirius would want to protect his brother and I'm very sad that Regulus refused to run away with him... :( Ahahah, the bit about the T-shirt was so fun to write, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :P
Yes, poor Remus, that must have been awful for him... (I'm cruel to my characters, I know...) Yay for Dorcas and the other Gryffindors for starting the protest! They are so great! :D
Thank you so much, your reviews are always a joy to receive! <3
Hey there, Chiara! Dropping by for our review swap! :)
POOR PETER! Honestly, though I'm starting to like Peter less as the story goes on (sorry?), I feel for him so badly after this chapter. The whole way he's still in love Remus, who's happy with Dorcas, how he has to sit and watch James and Lily, Frank and Alice, and even Remus and Sirius, be happy and brave and feel... so out of place. Like, he just seems to be struggling so much: with the Order work, with being so alone, away from his mum and without siblings, with his friends all having lives and jobs of their own. It's so difficult and so real, and I think something everyone can sympathise with, because it's so common, yk? So feel alone and behind everybody else; as though everything everyone else has will never happen for you.
The bravery thing in particular really got me, and I liked seeing Sirius be vicious and rude and so cruel to Peter - how he accused him of going to get them all killed, because Peter's afraid. Things like war and battles and even emergency situations are so different to normal life, and no one can predict how they'll react. You're just lucky, really. It was super harsh of Sirius, but I liked that it showed a different side to his character - how the war's changing them all, really.
Also that's a terrifying cliff-hanger to leave this chapter on - I'm guessing it's a Death Eater; I can't imagine Voldemort strolling through Diagon Alley :P
And Remus, too. I loved the scene with Leander so much. It's such a good example of how people with horrible opinions implement and use laws to denigrade other people 'legally'. I felt a bit for both of them - how Leander's doing it because it's a job and it pays money, but Remus has a point with the whole thing of that Leander doesn't have to do it. He could be nicer or a little more relaxed about it, yk? Also I loved the little mention of Peter - 'how's Peter?'.
I can't believe I'm so far through this story, tbh. I'm so so curious about how you finish this off and what happens next - what exactly happens to Peter.
As always, your writing in this was so so lovely, and your characters are as wonderful as always! :)
Hi, Laura, love! <3
Sorry, I've been so bad replying to reviews recently, I'm trying to remedy now...
No apologies necessary, I don't think I expect anyone to like Peter, I know he has his big flaws (I still love him, but I won't pretend that he is 100% a good person) But I'm glad you feel bad for him here, he is struggling a lot and feeling out of place and like his life is getting nowhere compared to the others'.
Sirius was a bit too harsh on him after the battle, but seeing things through Sirius' perspective... someone who just stands in the way in a battle is a danger for himself and for others, and of course Peter couldn't help it and I'm not blaming him, but Sirius being Sirius, he would have that kind of reaction... and yes, the war is changing them all... :(
I can't help cliffhangers... yes, he's a Death Eater, and of course you know which Death Eater by now...
Poor Remus... his situation is so hard... and I can't really blame Leander, either, but of course he could try to make things easier... I'm glad that you liked Peter's mention, btw.
Thank you so much for the lovely review, I'm so glad you liked the chapter!
Hiiii, I'm back! Trying to keep up my promise!
Marauders - I love this chapter name! I know this is really small, but I love the image you painted of Remus chewing on the end of his quill. It's just such a - KID - thing to do! Haha, Remus still doesn't like Potter and Black, does he?
Poor Remus, I can't even begin to image the little 11 year old trying hard to hide such a big secret from everyone around him. Especially with Peter being the nosy guy he is.. And his low self esteem making him doubt James and Sirius.
I absolutely LOVE the Marauders' dialogue!!! OMG Chiara, you are a Marauders genius!!! I'm so much in love with the dynamics between the boys!
Aww, James and Sirius solving the mystery - so like them!! And, Peter - darn - he's a Slytherdor alright! And Remus' fear, reaction to their confrontation - all so natural. Poor Remus! He must have been so scared :(
And the Moony headcanon! We are so in sync! I like to believe that the nicknames just came up at different points in time! Ooh I remember Peter's gift, we discussed about it, didn't we?
Also, You are such a genius because you wrote so much in rhyme!!! You amaze me, more and more, Chi!!!! I can't get over how wonderfully amazing this chapter is!!! So much happened, and it just flowed so well I couldn't believe we had reached the end... and YES Remus is beginning to feel things for Peter! This is amazing!!!!!
The wolf is happy, and so is Ysh.
Because you are, my dear betaaa, a GENIUS!!!!
Ysh is back!!! *party*
Little, shy Remus! Glad you liked that scene! :) And no, he doesn't like them... yet! ;)
It must be pretty hard for him, trying to hide such a big secret, especially from his best friend... poor Remmy...
Aww, thank you! So glad you like the boys' dynamics! :) (And you are a Marauders genius, too!)
They solved the mistery, yes! :D And well, Peter is flawed, but that's a known fact, isn't it? Poor Remus, indeed, but at least now his friends know and they are still by his side. :)
Ahahah! To be honest, I think I stole that one from you... :P And yes, we did discuss the chess set! You helped me so much with this chapter, my little beta/betee!!!
I had so much fun with the rhymes! So glad they worked! :) And you are the sweetest!
I am back!! :-D
Loving the snippet like format. It tells more of the story, and the pacing is so wonderful. It feels like so much has happened but in so few words! I love it!
Ahhh the Yaxley connection becomes more relevant now! I absolutely LOVE the way you described Peter's reactions - his initial feeling of discomfort at meeting Yaxley. Kind of makes me feel like he wasn't always 'bad'.
Hahaa, Remus' instincts about James and Sirius so spot on. Of course they are trouble!
Peter's sorting in my favorite bit. The snarkiness of the Sorting Hat, the Slytherin expectations of Yaxley weighing him down, his eagerness to be with Remus... very much like Harry, being in Gryffindor becomes his choice. I'm loving every single bit of this! Peter's characterization becomes more solid - from a small child who was teased by everyone, you've shaped him to be such a believable character - silent, observant, yearning for attention, craving popularity - so typical of an adolescent boy!
While most stories (mine included) make Remus the one who befriends the Marauders first, I love that you've made Peter be that first contact. It makes so much sense in your story too - with Remus' consistent disappearance, Peter might have felt the urge to reach out - just like you have him do here. Have I told you how brilliant you are? I'm pretty sure I have, but I can't say it enough! Honestly!
Lots of Love and Snowball hugs!!!
Welcome back, Ysh! :D
Ah, I'm so glad you like the snippet format! (Did I say it already? Yes, I think I did...)
Glad you liked the little interaction between Peter and Alistair, too. No, Peter wasn't always "bad", and Alistair is sort of creepy... poor Pete.
James and Sirius trouble? What gives you that idea? :P
I'm so glad you liked Peter's sorting, and his characterization in general. You've summarized it so well, and I'm so glad it seems believable. :)
I'm so glad you liked Peter being the first to approach James and Sirius as well. :) Aww, thank you, you are too sweet!!!
Snowball hug to you, my love!
Chi <3 <3
I can't believe I have beta-ed part of the novel but never stopped by with a review! Well, that's about to change now! I'm going to review every chapter of this amazing story (and then some!) Your AP has become more amazing since the last time I stopped by.
Anyway, I digress.. Coming to the chapter
You know how much I adore your depiction of Peter, but I honestly can't say it enough. This chapter has painted such an amazing picture of Remus and Peter's childhood. I love that they knew each other before Hogwarts, makes it all the more special. And, Yaxley? Loving that link to a Death Eater last name!
It is heartbreaking, seeing Remus' reaction to transformations at a younger age. Honestly, I LOVE your insights into their childhood. I struggle so much with relating to characters so much younger to myself, and I admire you so much for being able to do it so perfectly!!! Remus' fear, apprehension, anger and needing reassurance is all so natural <3 <3 I also LOVE Remus' relationship with his parents! His mother, especially. I agree, your headcanon of John and Silvia is amazing!
I love the way this is written, in snippets and with a lot of dialogue - it takes the story forward in such a great pace! We get a bigger picture in shorter bursts. And it's all so natural - their reactions, the sequence of events - I LOVE it!
Peter and Remus as children seem so... so natural! And Peter... I know this was a Remus heavy chapter, and most people paint Peter as someone mousy from the beginning, but I love how innocuous he is - as all children are! You know how much I love your characterizations! And I can't gush enough about it!!
I could go on all day about how I'm super excited about what I know is going to happen, so I'm going to spare some of those excitement for the next chapters, that I'm going to review!!
Loads of love <3
Ah, no worries... Actually, I should definitely stop by your AP more often, I've been so bad at keeping up with your work...
So glad you like my little children and their early friendship. And you know I love how you write Peter too... :P Yes, Yaxley, and it's definitely going to influence Peter's future choices... but this is a bit premature, right?
Poor, little Remus... it always breaks my heart to imagine how hard it must have been for him dealing with lycanthropy at such an early age... I actually find it quite easy to relate to children... guess it's because I never grew up... :P And yay! So glad you love John and Silvia!!!
So happy you like the structure! And my little Petey and how he's just a normal child at this point. :)
Love you so much, little betee!
Your beta Chi!
Oh my god Chiara I loved this chapter so much! I can’t even begin to describe my love for this chapter! What a ride!
I felt so bad for Remus in the beginning. When he was trying to figure out what to write to his parents, and was warring with himself over if he should tell Peter the truth or not. I just wanted to hug him. And Peter was so sweet. Even though he was suspicious of Remus, his concern won out and he was just so lovely. I think it’s hilarious that he didn’t like James and Sirius much in the beginning. That argument between James and Remus was so funny, and really showed their ages at the time. I loved it.
It was great to see the three boys working out that Remus was actually a werewolf. Even though Peter did have that brief moment of doubt regarding remaining his friend, i was glad to see that the pretty much immediately decided that it didn’t matter. I can totally see that, and imagine that’s how it would have been in canon. Also, I imagine Remus’ initial reaction would be to run away from them, once they told him they knew.
The scene about them telling Remus they were going to become Animagi was great. Of course Remus would be like, no absolutes not. And of course the other three would be like, tough we’re doing it anyway hahahaha.
Can I just say that the prank they pulled was one of the funniest things I have ever read! I was legit cracking up the entire time! And I completely lost it at
”I do wonder, Potter, how the heck,
is that fat head sustained by your neck?”
That was absolutely perfect! I’m laughing again just thinking of it!
Poor Remus. No wonder he went prematurely grey! It wasn’t due to the awful things that happened years from now, it was probably because of the stress his friends gave him lol. Poor kid probably has an ulcer! He was so worried. But it was wonderful to see him realize that he could be playful and enjoy the full moon. Such a lovely note for this chapter to end on
This was siriusly great, my love! I loved it so, so much! I can’t wait to continue on!!
Tons of love and hugs,
Aww, Meg! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter so much! It's great to know that you are loving this! :D
Yes, poor Remus, feeling so bad about lying to Peter but too scared of his possible reaction to tell him the truth... and Peter's concern for him is really sweet, I'm glad you like their relationship. :)
I'm also glad you liked how they all became friends and the argument between James and Remus that led to it. :) I'm glad you liked how James, Sirius and Peter figured out Remus' secret and their reactions, and that you felt it could be how things went in canon. :)
Ahahah! Yes, can't you imagine it going exactly that way? With Remus trying to convince them to renounce and them basically ignoring him? :P
When you talked on Twitter about the funniest line, I guessed you were referring to that one. I must confess, I'm quite proud of my rhyming prank. I'm so glad it made you laugh! :)
Dealing with them must not have been simple for Remus, ahahah! But they did make his transformations bearable and his Hogwarts' years happy. Remus is lucky to have such wonderful friends. :)
Thank you so much, my love! I'm so glad you are enjoying this! We can swap again sometime, maybe, what do you say?
Huge snowball hug,
Hey love! I’m here for our swap!
So I know that I read and reviewed the first chapter of this a while ago. I thought so, before I started reading. And then when I began the first chapter I definitely remebered reading it before.
I love your Peter already. As I’m reading how meek, quiet and sweet he seems, I keep think, how does this man end up becoming the Pettigrew we all know and hate? But of course you said that this story ends on an AU note, so hopefully there’s a redemption for him in the making. I don’t want to hate this shy little boy.
It’s so sad, because obviously Remus disappeared due to the whole werewolf thing, but he can’t tell Peter that. And poor Peter is just left thinking that his only friend deserted him. *sniffles* Awww boys. :(
Can I say how much I loved that Remus’ first impression of James and Sirius was that they were trouble, and couldn’t be trusted? Because of course, with their pranking habits, most people probably shouldn’t have trust them haha. And it’s interesting that you have Yaxley as Peter’s cousin. Is that canon? Or have you written that in another fic? I feel like I’ve seen that somewhere before.
The small introductions to some of the other characters I loved. It wasn’t an overload of information, but just enough to keep it interesting. Even just the simple lines of how Mary and Dorcas take their tea. Will we be seeing more of some of these other characters? I think we all know I’m quite partial to Mary.
I felt so bad when it was nearing the full moon. Remus was feeling crappy, and Peter was so concerned. But then Remus couldn’t tell him the truth, even though Peter kept pressing. Then Remus kind of stormed off. I can’t wait until Peter knows the truth. I feel like some of the tension will be gone that way.
Aww and then we get to see the beginning of Peter’s friendship with James and Sirius. It’s so bittersweet, because i want them to be friends, but then i don’t want Peter to betray them. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed for an AU ending that won’t leave me in tears lol.
This is really great, my love. I can already see why it’s won and has been nominated for so many awards. Totally well deserved! I’ll be back again to continue on!
Sending tons of love and hugs,
Thank you so much, it's always so lovely to swap with you! We should do this more often! :) And yes, you did review the first chapter already, on HPFF I think. :)
I'm glad you love my Peter! :) Right now he's only a child and of course he's not the person that will betray his friends yet... but he does have his flaws and they will show little by little... and well, this will end in AU and there might be a redemption for him in the making... but you will have to read on to actually find out... :P
Yes, poor Peter, thinking he was abandoned by Remus... and poor Remus, having to deal with lycanthropy... it is sad, but at least Peter will find out the truth soon and be able to support his friend ;)
James and Sirius can't be trusted. :P But maybe Remus is a bit too harsh on them... he will get to know and appreciate them soon, though. :) As for Peter being a Yaxley on his mother's side... no, it isn't canon (unless JK said it somewhere and I'm a Seer...) and I only wrote that in the Jimmy Portman series... maybe you remember it from the first chapter of this story?
I'm glad you liked the little glimpses of other characters. :) I'm afraid Mary won't have a central role, but she will appear once or twice. :) (No, I had no idea you had a soft spot for Mary... not at all... :P btw, little spoiler but I hope you don't mind: Mary is lesbian. And I think it was you who inspired me to write her that way)
Yes, poor Remus and Peter again... a lot of tension will be definitely released once Peter finds out...
And yes, Peter is starting to approach James and Sirius. The friendship is in the making. :) Can't guarantee that there won't be tears, I'm afraid... :(
I'm so glad you are enjoying this story and my little Petey, and I really hope that you will keep enjoying the chapters to come!
Thank you so much again for the swap and the lovely review!
Oh no, things are getting really dramatic and everything, and I'm starting to feel a little panicked about what's going to happen next. I can see the title starting to play a role in the theme of the story, with Peter accusing Remus of constantly lying and never being honest, and I probably should've expected that the title would only lead to sadness, but I still wasn't prepared. I'm feeling really sad from all the different emotions that this chapter expressed, haha.
You covered two huge canon events in this chapter. The scene where Remus almost killed Snape because of Sirius is super important, and I'm not going to talk too much about this because I already babbled on for too long in that other review I left you! (Speaking of which, is that the event referenced in this chapter? The letter from James's father that makes him so upset, and that makes his friends so sympathetic towards him? If it is, you slipped it in very subtly, and very well.) But just know that I still think that what Sirius did is heinous. If I were his friends, I would take a long, long time to forgive him.
The second major canon event you talked about was when Snape called Lily a Mudblood. Writing it from the perspective of the two quieter Marauders was a stroke of genius, and you tied their thoughts into the rest of the story as well. (I don't quite much like Snape, so every time I see this scene, I just sort of think, "You did this to yourself, buddy. Suck it up and deal with the consequences instead of whining," haha.) I really liked reading this from such a different point of view.
Peter's jealousy at the end was... I'm not sure how I feel about that. In my opinion, jealousy is one of the biggest things you can judge someone on. Obviously, jealousy is a normal part of life, but whether you let the jealousy take control of your life is another matter. Like, Peter is at the party with someone, and he's still mad enough at Remus for being with Dorcas that he actually goes and confronts him about it? I just don't understand Peter here. I wish he wouldn't have done that, because it's just not the right thing to do. However, this sort of action does fit in rather neatly with the rest of his character as we know it from the books.
Wonderful chapter, as always, Chiara! <3
Finally replying to your last review (which means I'll have to request for more... :P)
Yeah, things are getting dramatic, and I'm afraid it will only spiral down and get darker and darker from there... :( That's exactly what the title refers to, since the lies and secrets and unsaid things between the two boys are what ultimately ruin their relationship and lead to the more tragic events ahead. But I guess I'm running too far... :P
Yes, James' breakdown here is right after he received the news of Aaron's death. As for Sirius' betrayal... I agree with you that what he did was horrible and that he didn't deserve to be forgiven so quickly (and he probably wouldn't have if James didn't need his friends so badly in that moment...) As bad as Snape might have been, he didn't deserve to be killed by a werewolf, not to consider the consequences for Remus if he actually killed him...
The Mudblood incident... I'm glad you liked to see the episode from an unusual perspective. I'm not the biggest fan of Snape either, honestly, but I do feel bad for his childhood and for the way he was constantly bullied by the Marauders, even if he probably deserved it most of the time... in any case, the way his friendship with Lily ended is only his fault and this episode was just the straw that broke the camel, so yeah (sorry, I think I've rambled uselessly and I'm not sure myself what was my point... I guess I didn't have one... anyway, I'm glad you liked that scene.)
Peter isn't very good at dealing with jealousy. He's vindictive and egoist and quick to anger. And his relationship with Leander... well, I think Peter did care about him to an extent, but that he was always sort of a rebound for him. Which doesn't honor Peter at all, obviously, but that's just how he is. And we know that he isn't a completely good person...
Thank you so much for all these lovely reviews! You are the best and your feedback always makes me smile!
Big snowball hug rolling your way!
Okay so one of the most unique things about this story is definitely the main pairing that you've written into the story. When I was first met with Peter/Remus in Jimmy, I was really pleasantly surprised, because no one usually thinks of this ship when they think of the Marauders. Normally it's Wolfstar, or James/Sirius, but never Peter/Remus. So I really like the direction that you've taken the relationships in (how did you ever come up with this? it's so unique <3), and the way Remus struggles with his emotions here.
A lot of things happened this chapter! I thought it was especially cute how you remembered to include the actual making of the Marauder's Map. You always remember these little details from the books that sort of fill up the rest of your story with little plot points to flesh it out further.
The part that stood out to me most was the scene where Mary Macdonald was being tortured by the Pureblood Slytherins. It's a fairly pivotal scene in the novels; Lily references it when scolding Snape for the decisions he made in friendship, and even though we don't actually get to see the scene, we know that something really bad happened to her. And after seeing the effects of the curses on Mary, Sirius confronted his brother, which I think was a really important scene. I feel that Regulus, in the books, disobeyed Voldemort due partially to his loyalty to Sirius, and I think this scene of Sirius scolding his brother here planted that seed of guilt and doubt.
And Remus's struggles with his sexuality in this chapter...poor boy. Liking a girl and a boy at the same time must be confusing for him, since he's never really liked anyone before, and all of a sudden he's feeling so many different things that it must be overwhelming. I really loved the focus on Remus this chapter, it really gave an interesting insight into what he was like.
Wonderful chapter, Chiara! <3
I'm not sure how I came up with it, it just sort of happened... (that's my answer to pretty much anything, isn't it? :P) Anyway, I do love my boys, and I'm so glad you like the pairing. :)
I wanted to make sure to include all the main Marauder canon events in this story, and the Map surely is one. I'm glad you liked the reference to its making. :)
I'm glad you "liked" the scene of Mary being attacked by the Slytherins. I agree that it is quite an important event for the Marauders' backstory. And I'm also glad you liked the confrontation between Sirius and Regulus. I've always thought that the two brothers were close, at least before starting Hogwarts, and that even after that Regulus had always looked up to his brother and wished for his approval. And yes, I agree that Sirius helped planting the seed of guilt and doubt here (if it wasn't there already...)
Poor Remus, figuring out these things is always so hard, isn't it? Especially for him, who is so full of doubts because of lycanthropy already... I'm glad you liked the focus on his feelings here.
Thank you for another great review!