Hey Chiara! I'm here for our review swap! :) Sorry it was so late - these last few days have been super busy! But I'm here now, so it's okay ;)
Honestly I think one of my favourite things about this is the way you write Peter. It's incredible - the way he's so 3D and so interesting, with his half-blood background: his Death Eater uncle and cousin, the way he's sort of like Sirius, left out of his family (extended or otherwise) and being pushed to do something he doesn't want to do. Though I loved how he stood up to them - fear is so paralysing, and I loved your description of it: all those things he wanted to do, to protect his mum and to fight them. It's not often that you see a story which actually portrays Peter as anything like a Gryffindor, tbh, so it was lovely to see him getting his moment of courage :)
Poor Remus... the whole thing with his dad being fired from the Ministry, not even allowed to set foot in the department, and then the Ministry instituting bi-annual checks on werewolves.. it's so horrible, but so realistic, yk? Like, it's the kind of measure you could see happening, being put in place because 'it's about safety'. And the whole way the werewolves were all so poor and scruffy, and the Ministry workers were sleek and elegant was such a great contrast. Remus' statement when he said he hoped he wouldn't end up like the werewolves was honestly heartbreaking. Poor guy.
I'm so curious as to what happens next - Remus and Dorcas; will they ever actually get together? She seems super sweet, like she'd be good for him, so as much as I love him and Peter, I do kinda want him to get with Dorcas too :P And Peter... I really want to know what happens to him - do his uncle and cousin come back? Is that how he becomes a Death Eater, they force him into it? What happens to his mum? (I have a horrible feeling she's going to die horribly...)
As always, your writing is so lovely. I always forget English is your second language when you write because you have this really natural fow and such a lovely style.
Thank you so much for the swap - sorry this was so late!
Hi, Laura! Welcome back! No worries for the wait, I'm late with my answer so we are even! ;)
It's always great when people like my Peter. :) I'm glad you are finding his family background interesting, it is similar to Sirius' situation in a way. I'm so glad you liked the scene with the Yaxleys. Yes, fear can be paralysing and I'm glad you liked how I wrote their interactions. So glad you liked Peter showing some Gryffindor bravery, too.
Yes, poor Remus... I'm so glad you found it all realistic, even if it is awful. There's more to the werewolves' law, but you'll see in the next chapter. I'm also glad that you liked the description of the werewolves and that you could feel for Remus in that scene, even if it was so sad...
Oh, yes, Remus and Dorcas... I'm afraid you will have to read on to find out, I don't want to spoil it for you... :P Same goes for Peter and his Death Eater relatives... but I think I can tell you that Peter's mum will be fine.
Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you like my writing! Especially coming from you, it's such a huge compliment!
Thank you so much for the lovely review! Let's swap again sometime!
Hi, Chiara. Thank you for this review swap. After the things for these months, we tried to search a better place to post our stories or talk about fanfictions and sometimes were forced to face the severe reality outside of the home welcoming community like hpft. When I faced the one, I think the other authors had already experienced the similar things, I felt hpft was really a home. So I really feel thankful for your kind offer.
What a coincidence, I just listened to “Reynardine” a traditional old English ballad about a “Werefox”. You continue writing about Remus, a half human-being and a half wolf, monster which he had been suffered from, which is really great. At the same time I feel you’ve struggled with describing him, his agony, how you should express his inner pain for himself.
The most impressive part is the last scene when James and Sirius bullied Severus. I don’t think anyone has ever tried writing Peter’s mind movement while their bullying Snape. And his feeling for Remus, is very original, I found a new Peter thanks to your story.
Two things are not clear. You might be able to describe more about the episode before you start the scene, they bullied Snape. It was a little hard for me to follow what you tried to tell the readers from their conversations and the thoughts. With adding more detailed descriptions of them might help us to understand the scenes: the moment James was nearly expelled (for what he had done?) and the moment Remus was in the hospital wing (though we know he is a werewolf and has been suffering from Lycanthropy, one more description, how he had managed to overcome it or some horrible visual image descriptions about his memory might be helpful?) I think you tried writing how desperate Remus was for Peter who he thought he didn’t deserve loving Peter. I know how hard you tried. If I were to write it, I can’t.
On the contrary, I could understand and imagine the scene, how the other Marauders bantered James for his feeling towards Lily. The dialogues are well written and I think most of the readers will like the scene. :D I really like the first lake scene, girls’ talk. And the last scene how Remus reprimanded the other Marauders. So cool!
Oh, you're welcome. Actually, it was pretty selfish, because I love to get some feedback, so I always love to do swaps. :P Also, I'm sorry for whatever happened outside of HPFT, hope you are okay.
I don't know the ballad, should check it out... :P Poor Remus is in a really difficult place right now, dealing with the guilt of almost killing someone.
I'm so glad you liked that scene through Peter's eyes. I did like that scene quite a lot. :P And I'm glad that you like their feelings for each other, I love my boys...
James' scene wasn't very clear, I agree. I actually had another scene that I wanted to include before this one and that would explain what was going on better, but it wouldn't fit in my seven-scenes-per-chapter rule (lame excuse, yeah, I know). I guess I could have expanded it a bit better, explain the content of the letter and what James had done. Basically, James received a letter from home in which his father told him that his cousin had died. The news left him very depressed and angered and when he crossed Snape later he lashed that anger on him and beated him hard (after being provoked, of course). I refer to all this again in a couple of chapters, but I should definitely have explained it more clearly here. I will try to expand that scene a bit if I ever come back and edit.
As for the scene of Remus in the hospital wing, it is set after what I call "the Willow incident", when Sirius told Snape how to get in the tunnel and Snape was almost killed. I thought it would be clear which episode I was referring to and in that scene I wanted to focus primarily on Remus' guilt and how he feels he's a danger for the people he loves (namely, Peter). My interpretation is that he doesn't have clear memories of what happened, he just knows what they told him, so he can't really revive it or anything, just blame himself for almost killing another human being. Does it make sense?
I'm happy you liked the more light-hearted scenes in the beginning, the Marauder bantering James over Lily and the girls' talk. And Remus reprimanding his friends after bullying Snape. We never got to see the end of that scene and Remus intervening and making a scene is my favourite headcanon. :P
Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
I'm here for our swap!
Aw, it's completely understandable why Remus wouldn't want even Peter to know about his condition! There was always the chance that he could have hated Remus because of it and, understandably, Remus doesn't want to lose a friend or have the school find out about it (which could then jeopardize his schooling.
It must be a heavy burden to bear on his own (though he's somewhat used to it by now), but the secret-keeping still must be rough.... Especially since Peter knows that he's lying and can't figure out why and is so completely ready to help. I also love how Remus is so wary of James and Sirius in the beginning...like they shouldn't be trusted and are sources of great trouble (well, they are trouble :p).
And I love how an argument leads to the beginnings of friendship as Remus silences his inner wolf. Makes sense that Remus would initially be put off by their general marauding and whathaveyou as well as the fear of being hurt again. Poor Peter had no idea what to do!
Yeah, I would expect that the three of them together could get the Remus-mystery solved pretty quickly once they all got down to work on it. As all the pieces slip into place, I love that they aren't quite sure what to do with the information. Grilling Remus until he confesses will me interesting, to say the least. It's awesome that, although they all know that a transformed werewolf is highly dangerous that none of them are forwardly seeing Remus as dangerous in his non-transformed state.
Aw, poor Remus! <3 Luckily the three of the boys are amazing and love Remus, anyway and I found it hysterical that James had to yell at Sirius to join the group hug :P. I also found it extremely funny that Lily was SO confused.
Peter, Sirius, and James outright not listening to Remus to make Remus' transformations easier on him must have been extremely frustrating while a bit touching at the same time. Those boys are proving to Remus that they're there with him through thin and through thick (even when the thick is a werewolf).
This birthday is so much better than the birthday when Remus had to leave! That's a completely wonderful and heartwarming gift, finding his late father's chess set that had been sold. I love the pranks! The speaking in rhyme and the rain ;P so much fun. I also love the origins of the name 'Marauders' .
Ahhh, the first transformation together. (And a hint of hand-touching-feelings to boot!) 'The wolf could be happy.' It's fantastic. I love how you've separated the two identities completely, by the way, between the wolf and Remus (like a tug-of-war of consciousnesses).
Wonderful job, as per usual! Sorry this took me so long to write :/ I'm all over the place today, apparently!
Okay, I'm answering this last one and then I'll head to bed (it's already midnight here...)
Yeah, poor Remus has had pretty poor experiences with people finding out about his condition, so he obviously would be scared to open up to Peter... and keeping the secret is really hard on him... and poor Peter too, not knowing what's going on...
Ahahah! James and Sirius are definitely trouble, but they aren't half as bad as Remus imagine them to be. I'm so glad you enjoyed the argument that led to the birth of their friendship. :)
The three of them together would solve the mistery pretty quickly. Ahahah! Yes, they don't really know what to do with the knowledge... I'm happy you found their idea of grilling Remus interesting, although poor kid... and yes, they wouldn't consider Remus dangerous. That's what makes them such wonderful friends, isn't it?
I'm so happy you enjoyed that scene, with James shouting at Sirius to join the hug and Lily's confusion. I do have fun with this bunch... :P
Ahahah! Poor Remus can't win an argument with them. :P As I said, they are wonderful friends, they would do anything to make his transformations more bearable.
Glad you liked the chess set, it is a very thoughtful present... and yay for the prank! I had so much fun thinking up those rhymes! :)
And yes, the first transformation... and a little hint of romantic feelings as well... *whistles* I'm so glad you liked the scene, as well as my interpretation of Remus and the wolf.
Thank you so much for another absolutely amazing review!!!
*peeks in* Just wanted to see what happens next!
:/ Why do I get a terrible feeling that Yaxley is going to be giving Peter a difficult time? I feel badly for Peter--going to a new school completely alone with nobody he really knows must be terrifying, not even considering the estranged family that are creepily coming out of the woodwork :P. I caught the name Yaxley in the last chapter as Peter's Mom's maiden name but I let it slide right by me that Peter's heritage could somehow affect his time at Hogwarts -- silly Rumpel.
The aftermath of what happened between Snape and James and Sirius coming before Remus even enters the room would probably leave me wary of the duo within as well!
Oh yes, Peter's hatstall. I was wondering how that conversation might've gone. I love how you've tied it into your fanon, where Peter wants to be in the same house as Remus. And, hooray! Peter finally sees Remus again! I'm so looking forward to their reunion! Oh and the way the Sorting Hat says, "He already did." Oh-my-goodness. That broke my heart a little and it is SO SWEET that Peter is determined that he won't again!
*hides* That wasn't exactly what I was expecting for a reunion, but it makes sense given the past transgressions. Everything will make more sense to Peter after he learns about Remus' condition, I'm sure (I mean, at least I assume, but you know what assuming does :P). But I'm so glad that they agree to be friends again!
Peter's observation skills are quite usefully and most probably the reason that Peter's animagus form was of a rat. When you think of it, rats can be exceptionally handy. (I'm actually quite the fan of rats, I've owned them mostly my whole life up until about four years ago. The last pair that passed away was too much for me. :() Anyway. Also, entirely explains how the Marauders were able to discover Remus' condition by the second year. I have no doubt that Peter will be the first to notice, especially given their past.
I also love how Peter is the first one to approach James and Sirius. I think you're doing an amazing job with bringing some light to Peter's character in this... Afterall, he had to have much more depth than what canon would lead us to believe.
Amazing job, once again!
Hi again, dear! ;)
It was such a lovely surprise to find this other review from you! Thank you so much for stopping by again! *hug*
Oh, Yaxley will give Peter a difficult time... maybe not immediately, but he will have a role later on... (spoiler? Yes, probably...) Peter's first trip to Hogwarts definitely wasn't the best, the poor child...
James and Sirius are... well... James and Sirius. :P Remus is a bit wary of them right now, but it will change soon (as you already know ;) )
I'm happy you enjoyed Peter's sorting. He would want to end up in the same house as Remus, wouldn't he? (And for the record, I'm convinced he did have Gryffindor qualities, he was brave in his own way). Peter is still hurt by Remus' abandonment, but they will fix things between them. Their reunion wasn't smooth, but they are friends again. ;)
I've always imagined Peter as the kind of person who prefers to just stay in an angle and observe and listen, rather than to jump into the action. It makes sense with his personality, shy and unsecure, and also with the future role of spy we know he'll play. I must confess that I'm quite ignorant about rats, but I will trust you on this. Btw, losing pets is so hard, I still miss my Arturo (my cat) a lot... I'm sorry... :(
Ahahah! Yes, as I said, Peter has his share of Gryffindor bravery. :P Glad you liked him approaching James and Sirius first.
Thank you for the lovely review!
Hello, hello! I'm here for our swap (and I'm EXTREMELY excited that this is Peter x Remus -- what?! OMG I never even considered this as a ship before. Anyway, I decided to start with this as it is meant to act as a sort of prequel to Jimmy Portman, which I've been anticipating reading at some point.) Anyway, here we go!
Okay, so Peter as a child is too incredibly adorable! I adore that he completely disregards his mother's concern for his safety (as children do) while he's pretending that he's a phoenix! So cute! And the mother-son dynamic between Mary and Peter is heartwarming--Peter's really lucky to have such a caring mom.
And I love that Peter meets Remus so early on in this! I think that have a pre-established friendship to the first Hogwarts train ride is special, especially if this will be transforming into a to-be relationship in the future. And, of course, building a Hogwarts castle seem like something fun a wizarding child would do!
The boys' excitement to build a swing is cute; I'm loving the characterization thus far. Everything seems just as it should be and I appreciate the creation of a more substantial background for these two than what we were given canonically. They make perfect friends.
And then the following scenes break my heart to pieces! Between Remus' pre-transformation objection (and it must be so difficult on both him and his parents--he, not old enough to quite understand it and his parents not knowing any other means of handling it) and the bullying that follows the revelation of his lycanthropy, I was already so sad! I mean, I completely adore the way that Peter rushed to Remus' rescue, but then Remus pushes him away and it's so sad!
Furthermore, having to leave their blossoming friendship behind because his condition was revealed is even MORE heartbreaking :(. This is so SAD! And poor Peter is just left there confused and upset on his birthday because of it all (sitting sadly on the swing that he and Remus built (with a bit of help, of course), to boot) -- you're absolutely breaking my heart!
Oh my goodness, I'm so excited for their reunion on the Hogwarts Express! Heck, I'm so excited to see where you're going to take this story! :D You've done a wonderful job with this and I'm so glad to have had a chance to have started reading it! Hopefully I'll be able to get to the next chapter sooner rather than later!
Thanks so much for the swap and for writing this lovely opening chapter!
Rumpel! Hello, dear! Thank you so much for the swap (and sorry for the late reply...)
I'm glad that you decided to stop here and that you are planning to read Jimmy too at some point. And yes, it's a bit of a rare (read weird) pairing, I know... I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I do love them together now...
I'm so glad you liked Peter as a child and his relationship with his Mum as well. She is really sweet, if slightly overprotective, and he is definitely lucky to have her.
So glad you liked their early friendship, too. Yes, I guess it would be nice to get to Hogwarts already knowing someone. They will grow very close, but you already know that. ;) So glad you enjoyed the development of their friendship and also the bit of the swing.
I've always found so sad the idea that Remus had to deal with lycanthropy since so early in his life. I think it would be really hard, especially the first transformations, both for him who wouldn't really understand it all and for his parents who would feel so helpless... and of course dealing with the prejudice that came with that... :( Yes, poor Peter too, rejected when he tried to help.
It was really hard for Peter when his friend had to leave without explaination. Poor child, all alone on his birthday... sorry for breaking your heart, but I'm glad you could feel for him.
They will reunite (well, you've read on, so you already know). I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter, thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
Hey there, Chiara! Dropping by for our review swap! :) Hope you don't mind it's a little later than I intended - though, anyway, I'm here now! :)
I loved this chapter - honestly, your characterisation of the Marauders is amazing and probably the most original one I've ever seen. It's so awesome the way you do it - how they're all so in-depth and real. I love the way that Remus reacts so badly to Sirius' 'prank' in fifth year (honestly, the way you wrote the aftermath of it is so true to how I always imagined it) - how he's so hurt and so depressed, feeling that he's not good enough for his friends and boyfriends, and how he's so irrational, arguing with and snapping at his friends.
The way that Peter is so hurt by Remus' rejection after the wolf incident really speaks to me - it's so sad and so difficult for him. I just wanna hug the two of them, tbh - they're so cute and so troubled, and I love that about them. As frustrating as it is, it really speaks to me, you know, because it reminds me of people I know - not in those exact ways and issues, but the general idea :P
As always, your writing is so, so lovely - your details are incredible, so specific and so good. I love the way that you describe their emotions - Remus' self-hatred and self-deprecation, Peter's anger and irritation at Remus and James and Peter, James' sadness and collapsing. It's also in the little things, how you mention that no one at the party talks to Peter on his birthday apart from a handful of people, despite the fact that it's his party. Poor guy... but honestly, you write it all so beautifully.
I loved it, as always - though you should know that by now ;) Thank you so much for the swap! :)
Hi again, dear! :)
I'm so glad you keep loving my Marauders, I do love writing them so much and I'm so glad I can do them justice. I'm so glad you liked Remus' reaction at Sirius' "prank", the way he blames himself (as usual) and isolates himself.
And yes, poor Peter... he doesn't deserve to be pushed away like that, especially since he only wants to give Remus his support. I'm glad you can feel for them both. Well, not that this reminds you of true situations...
I'm so glad you like all the details and the way I write their emotions and all their different reactions at the events going on. Thank you so much, I really appreciate your feedback!
Hi, Chiara. Sorry for late review. Finally Typhoon has left and finished my work. This chapter is full of events. One is your original plot , rare pairing, Remus and Peter, the others, Marry was attacked and misunderstanding happened between Sirius and Regulus. And you added the conversation between Remus and his father, from which we can sense the political aspect. At the same time, Remus felt Fenrir Greyback’s shadow, which told us it was dark time they had to face.
It’s quite understandable Remus liked Dorcas, considering he married with Tonks later in his life. From Lupin's POV, Peter looked like an angel and comfort for him in your story. I wonder how you will develop their relationship from here and how you will keep writing Peter’s dark side. At least readers don't have to worry about their dark future for now in this chapter. We can just enjoy their caring each other.
It is also impressive we can feel the different kind of caring between Sirius and Regulus. They hate each other because they stand in the opposite side, and they worry about the situation each other. Wow, you described various scenes in this chapter.
Let’s do this review swap again.
Hi, Kenny! :)
Thank you for swapping and for the lovely review! :)
Yes, there is a lot going on in this. While this chapter is meant to be mostly focused on the development of Remus and Peter's relationship, I needed to start including a few political aspects as well. Their world is getting darker and it's starting to affect them, even if only slightly for now. The political theme, especially lycanthropy discrimination, will get always more central as the story develops.
Remus has deep feelings for the both of them, which will be very important for the development of the plot as well. You'll have to read on to see how things will move from here. But yes, for now they are just happy together. :)
Sirius and Regulus care for and love each other a lot, despite having completely opposite views. At least that's the way I like to imagine the two brothers. It's so sad that they can't quite trust and understand each other, and it's also so sad that Sirius never knew how and why his brother died... :(
I would love to swap again, it's always so nice! :)
Thank you for the lovely review,
Hey there, Chiara - dropping by for our review swap! :) I was so excited to see you say you were up for swaps, because it meant I could stop by this story again, which I keep meaning to get back to. But, yk, life is busy at the moment, which makes it hard to read and review as I'd like to :(
Anyway, I'm back! :) I meant to say last time, but I forgot - but I love how you jump between the different time periods. It's so clever and so good, and you manage to make it feel so seamless, even though a lot of time has passed between the different chapters. It's a real skill - it's really difficult to do right and well, and you've got it so perfectly.
I was so excited when I saw this chapter title, haha - it felt like it was about time after the last chapter, with the hints that they were both starting to feel more for each other, and I'm so glad that you didn't string it out too long - I'm not sure I would have coped with that :P The way you portray their teenage emotions, the first love and crushes and the confusion of it all - Remus wondering what exactly he's feeling, wondering whether he should do anything about it, etc. - is just so, so good, and so real. It's so true to the worries and anxieties about these things that people, and especially teenagers, have about this stuff. I loved the little details you included about the physical touch and Remus' daydreams about what it would be like to kiss Dorcas - they were lovely, as all your details are.
Poor Remus! I think I say that every chapter, haha, but it's true in most chapters! The idea that he doesn't think he deserves love is so unbelievably sad - poor, poor guy. But it does make sense with his character - it's so reminiscient of the mantra he repeats at Tonks in DH, how he's too old and too poor and too dangerous, and I liked that you linked it - and how self-deprecating and self-isolating he is. I'm glad he has people like his dad and Sirius to tell him he's being an idiot, though, and convince him that he does deserve love :P
You made me feel so sorry for Peter in this one - despite his semi-violent jealously, the dark tones, etc. which you know I love as part of his character as you write him - with how he has to watch Remus developing feelings for other people (Dorcas), and struggle with his own feelings for Remus, then kissing him and believing that his feelings are unreturned. It's always hard to have to deal with your own feelings when you think you've been rejected.
As always, your writing is so, so lovely - I'm constantly amazed that English is your second language, because it's honestly really hard to tell in this.
I loved it, as always! ;)
Hi again, Laura, my dear!
Thank you, I'm glad the time jumps work, I'm afraid it feels a bit too fragmented at times, so it's good to know that it flows well.
I'm not very good at stringing things out for long... :P Happy that made you happy. ;)
Oh, it's great to know you thought their emotions felt verosimilar and were portrayed well. Poor Remus is so confused and full of doubts at this point and I'm so glad it all felt real.
It is sad that he thinks he doesn't deserve love, but it's just his way of thinking (like you say, he will do the same with Tonks). But yes, he does have people around who love him and can call him out on that.
And yes, poor Peter too. It is so hard for him to see Remus falling for Dorcas and thinking he doesn't return his feelings... at least they talked it through and got together in the end, even if it won't last too long...
Thank you. Well, I try. There are still a lot of things that give me trouble (like irregular verbs and some spelling and prepositions... I really, really hate preposition...) and written English is much easier than spoken English. Anyway...
Thank you so much for another lovely review! :)
Hey there, Chiara - dropping by for our review swap! :) I'm so excited to return to this story - it's such a fascinating and unique take on the Marauders. I've honestly never seen another story like this one, focusing on Remus and especially Peter, and definitely not their friendship or potential relationship.
I gotta say - I love the way you characterise them all, especially Remus and Peter, of course. It's just so realistic and so good - they're such real characters, they really leap off the page and sound like I could actually meet them, you know? You just make them alive... it's little things like how you mention Peter's nervous habits, Remus' wolf-ish side and how it gives him feelings and senses and emotions which aren't entirely his; how neither of them entirely likes Sirius or James at the beginning (which just makes so much sense to me, yk, since they were meant to be so full of themselves at the beginning of their schooldays), and how badly Peter reacts to Remus lying, and Remus' fears about telling his friends the truth. There are internal patterns of logic to each character and it's just so, so good. It's the kind of characterisation which is so beautifully intricate and wonderful, but is so hard to do.
I love love love how you brought Peter, Remus, James, and Sirius together! It's such an organic way to get them into their little group... and all the names, especially the 'Marauders' moniker! Haha, poor McGonagall, she really does try with them but they're just too annoying and too clever :P 'It's Peter's birthday'... I wish I'd ever been able to use that excuse in school (not that I needed it, haha, I was never in trouble, but yk :P)!
Awww, poor Remus and his confusing feelings when Peter takes his hands :P :P :P That, my dear boy, is commonly called 'a crush' :P :P He'll learn that soon enough, though - I hope?! Please? Maybe? :P
Your writing in this is so, so lovely. You have this gorgeous stripped down style I love - which is also super hard to do (at least for me) and requires so much talent to pull off successfully (which you do). Your description in this and the narrative is just so good - it reads so easily and so beautifully, and you make everything about this story come to life.
I loved it. I'll be back - hopefully it won't be too long! :)
Hi, Laura! :)
Thanks for another lovely review! :) I'm so glad you are enjoying the story and that the focus on Remus and Peter and their relationship fascinates you. I do love the two of them as single characters and as a couple.
I'm so glad you like my characterization and that it makes them feel alive! I'm so glad you enjoy all the details and different aspects of their personalities and all their internal and external struggles as well. (And yes, James and Sirius would be quite hard to deal with, especially at the beginning...)
I'm so glad you enjoyed how the group was formed, too, and the way they took their title. :D Poor McGonagall indeed... (and yes, that was quite an awesome excuse :P)
Ahahah! Well, you already read on, so you already know that... but yeah, he will realize it quite soon, even if he might not be so good to manage it... the poor boy...
Aww, I'm so glad you like the style and the narrative and description, thank you so much!
Thanks for the lovely review and for the swap! :)
Howdy Chiara! Sorry to be late on our swap, but I have finally arrived!
I really enjoyed the continued character development in this chapter. We don't often get the opportunity to read the young Marauders - especially Peter and Remus - and certainly not at length. Here you also explored the negative sides of both their personalities which was refreshing too.
Something that really intrigued me was the concept of Peter and Remus being friends before school, but the sudden swoon that came - and total lack of explanation - when Remus was attacked. I've never seen them written (or any of the Marauders for that matter) as having a pre-existing friendship and I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops. I wonder why the Sorting Hat plays into Peter's anger and insecurities about that though. It's shown a certain...personality...in canon, but it makes you wonder what the hat's motivations are.
I like that the chapter ends on a side of Peter we don't see - courage. It is, as he admits, more superficial, but it shows that he has some and tellingly sets up his capability to fake it, which I'm sure was instrumental in his final act of betrayal.
Hey, Kevin! :)
Ah, no worries, it's alright! Glad to have you here!
I'm so glad you liked my characterization of young Remus and Peter in this chapter. They do have their flaws, obviously, and I'm glad you liked to see that, too.
I'm glad you are intrigued by that. They have a pretty strong bond, but there is this sense of betrayal that Peter can't really let go and that will have a big impact on their characters' arcs. And about the Hat... well, I guess I have a tendency to overdo Sorting scenes... but I think what it was trying to do was make Peter see that he needs to be his own person, and not pretend to be someone else just to please other people. The way I see Peter, he's primarily moved by his need to feel accepted/respected/acknowledged and that can be dangerous because you can forget who you are and what is important for you.
Peter must have been brave to an extent or he wouldn't have been sorted in Gryffindor, right? We know that he chose to become an Animagus for Remus, and that would require a certain amount of courage. I'm glad you liked that his bravery shows a little in the final scene, even if it is more superficial.
Thank you so much for the swap and for the lovely review!
Hey, Chiara - dropping by for our review swap! :)
I'm so glad you mentioned this story, because when you said you wanted to swap, I really wanted to stop by it. It's been such a long time since I read the first chapter, and I loved it - it was so good and so sweet, and so unique. I've honestly never read a story like it - with the way it portrays both Remus and Peter, and their whole relationship in general.
I love Peter. Like, seriously. He's one of those characters I've never really wondered about, you know, because he'd mostly sort of been on the fringes of things - but he's so fascinating, especially the way you write him. The way he can be surprisingly brave in moments, even though he's so afraid - how he approaches James and Sirius even though they're intimidating and popular and he doesn't know them - and how he has those flashes of cruelty and sort of malovolence, where he seems almost dangerous. It's a great way of connecting him to his future as a Death Eater, and the way he betrays James and Lily, but it's also a really interesting character trait to give a character, and especially him. Not many people use that kind of violent anger, but it's so real and so human and it fits incredibly naturally with him.
I also loved the addition of Yaxley as Peter's cousin - it's such a cool addition, and I'm so curious to see how their relationship pans out. If Yaxley ever talks to him, if anything happens because Peter was sorted into Gryffindor, or if that has any impact on his future being a Death Eater.
Remus, as always, is so lovely. I just always feel so so sorry for him - you manage to make his backstory, which is already sad enough, almost even sadder, with the way he doesn't have many friends at school initially, how he sits with James and Sirius but they just ignore him. It's so harsh, but it fits well with what we know about both James and Sirius from canon, you know?
Their whole relationship is so lovely - the way they keep secrets from each other, they can't quite communicate the way they used to before Remus became a werewolf, and how strained things get so easily. It's such a real teenage relationship, though, which I love, especially the quick anger and the petty grudges :P
As always, your writing is so good. You have such a lovely style, and your details are so great. You have this real knack of giving each character a distinct voice which I love so much - it's much harder to do than people think; it's a real skill, and you've mastered it completely.
This is a great second chapter - I loved it! :)
Thank you so much for swapping, and sorry for the late reply!
I'm happy to see you back here. I do love how this story turned out and I'm always happy to know people love it too! I'm so glad you like the friendship between Remus and Peter.
I'm so glad you love Peter. He is such a complex and fascinating character and it's great to know that you like the way I characterize him. I think he is brave in his own way or he wouldn't have been sorted in Gryffindor, but I also imagine him to have a strong dark side, to be vengeful and keen on holding grudges. I've always thought his betrayal had more to do with his feeling mistreated and unconsidered by his friends than with his fear of being killed. I'm glad you found that the traits I gave him fit with what we know about his character.
Yaxley will have a role in his future decisions, but you'll have to read on to find out. They won't really interact much during Peter's Hogwarts years, though.
Oh, I love Remus. He's so tragic but also so sweet. I'm glad you liked that scene with James and Sirius on the train, I do think that's how it would go. They don't do it on purpose, anyway, they are just too focused on themselves... glad you found them in character too.
I'm so glad you think the relationship between Remus and Peter is real. They do have some trouble communicating, but at least lycanthropy won't stay a secret for much longer and things will go better then, at least for a bit.
Oh, thank you! Coming from you that's such a huge compliment! I'm so glad you liked my writing and all the details and that you liked my characters' voices.
Thank you so much for your lovely review!
Hello, my dear! I'm here for our review swap, and I'm so sad that this story is over.
You've done such an amazing job with Peter in this story. You've somehow managed to make me feel for him and relate to him a little better, and I think that speaks volumes because you've done everything in a truly believable way. I love how you stuck with canon as much as possible until the end, and I think tying it into your own AU is very clever. I'm not normally into AUs, but I'm a little curious to see where this story would go - and it's amusing to think of Peter as a father.
I can certainly see Peter doing some damage control. He wouldn't not tell Voldemort about the Potters, and it's a little understandable considering they tortured and threatened him, but him taking Harry makes a lot of sense. It offers him the chance of a new life, and it also ties into the books a bit with everyone still thinking/knowing what Peter did to the Potters.
Aww, and Lily is expecting! That's adorable. I do think that James would go to hell and back trying to find Harry, though, no matter what Peter says.
That scene with Remus and Sirius is so heartbreaking on so many levels. I'm glad they were able to reconcile, and I loved that Remus could forgive him, but not yet - it's very realistic and given how deeply hurt he was, makes sense that it wouldn't be done overnight. At least their friendship is reparable, and I'm glad Sirius is calling him out for still holding onto Peter's ghosts. I really do feel badly for him.
Aww, and poor Alice and Frank! It makes sense though, especially since we know that Neville would be the other chosen one, and I'm curious to see how the HP books would be played out if that was the case.
Overall, you did an amazing job with this story. It's so original in an era that gets written about quite a lot in fanfic, and I tip my hat to you for your talent, originality, and creativity. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story and giving us all a little more insight into the mind of Peter Pettigrew ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Hi again, Jill! *wub*
Oh, I'm so, so glad you liked my Peter and that I could make you feel for him! I did try to keep everything as canon as possible till the end and I'm glad it worked and felt believable. Well, I meant for Liar to tie into Jimmy from the beginning, so I'm not sure how clever that is, but thank you... :P And it would be lovely if you decided to check out Jimmy too... (yes, Peter as a father is an amusing thought... :P)
I agree, Peter wouldn't have the courage/strenght not to tell Voldemort, but I think taking Harry is something he might have done and I'm glad you can see that happening.
Yes, Lily is pregnant again. I'm glad you find it adorable, even if she's having trouble accepting it right now. This will change, of course, and the new baby will be loved deeply. And yes, James would go to the end of the world to find Harry.
I'm glad you liked the Remus/Sirius scene. So much has happened between them and it can't be fixed immediately, but they can definitely work it out with time. And yes, Remus still has feelings for Peter and that must be so hard for him. Sirius is right in calling him out.
Yes, I know... poor Alice and Frank... and poor Neville, too... yes, that's how it would have play out if Harry wasn't around, right?
Aww... thank you so much... I'm so proud of how this story turned out and I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much! Thank you for following me to the very end, it really means a lot!
All my love and the hugest snowball hug ever!
Chiara, I'm here for our swap and I'm sorry about the delay!
Okay but I didn't expect this chapter to break my heart. I really just want to snuggle Remus, even though I know he's a jerk to Peter later on-- he's going through so much with his mission from Dumbledore and trying to be a double agent is impossible to imagine. Especially when all of your supposed best friends turn on you... and that conversation with him and Sirius when Sirius was accusing him of being the spy. :( Sirius is very passionate and sometimes makes rash decisions, and I thought you did a great job of showcasing that in this chapter, and I also really liked the name-calling touches and how Remus managed to make Padfoot more disgusting than Black.
Remus and Dorcas are so adorable. I'm so glad they have each other and that she's there to help support him.
UGH Peter, it's so fitting that your animagus form is a rat.
DORCAS NO :(
Remus is there to see Peter! High-emotion reunions are neverrr a good idea and that's why. :P UGH, I want to both snuggle and shake Remus, though I suppose he's only human. Kinda. WHY CAN'T THESE TWO IDIOTS WORK IT OUT?!
Oooh, I really loved seeing the reasoning behind why they chose Peter as Secret Keeper. The boys are right; they'd instantly go to Sirius first. And interesting that they kept it from Remus, which is why Sirius thinks that Remus was the one who betrays them in PoA. At least I think that's how it happens? It's been a while since I've read the books.
Poor Peter. He has a pretty strong defense of the Dark Lord actually looking into his head for the address, and we've always known he's the weaker of the four, which is probably why Voldemort picked him.
Amazing chapter, as always, Chiara! I'm looking forward to the epilogue-- hopefully I'll get there sooner rather than later!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
First of all... please, please, please, forgive me for taking so long to reply to this!
And sorry for breaking your heart, too. This is definitely the hardest chapter of the whole story and I might have make myself cry a little writing it... So sorry... :(
Yes, poor Remus. He is a bit of a jerk to Peter, but he's going through so much, with his mission and his friends mistrusting him and everything. I'm glad you "liked" his exchange with Sirius and that you found it verosimilar and in character. I agree with you, Sirius often acts without reflecting and it is so sad that their friendship is so skrewed up at this point.
I'm glad you found Remus and Dorcas adorable. I do love them. And yes, they do need each other's support.
Yes, Peter is awful in there... and yes, poor Dorcas... I'm sorry... :(
Remus going to see Peter in that frangent definitely wasn't a good idea... I really wish they could work it out, but they are just incompatible, I'm afraid...
Yeah, that's how it was written in the books. They chose Peter because they thought Voldemort wouldn't imagine it was him, and they never told Remus because they thought he was the spy. Obviously it was a mistake, but they couldn't know it at that point.
Yes, poor Pete... he does have a quite strong defense against Voldemort reading his mind... unfortunately he isn't strong enough to protect the Potters...
Thank you so, so much for this incredible review! You are wonderful!
Hi, Chiara. I’m happy to be back to this story. Sometimes, twitter this review swap. I am forgetful due to the heat of this summer. I’ll reverse the order of review.
From the last scene it is very moving. I think I’ve never read such an impressive Marauders' transforming scene before. At least, Peter had a kind heart when Remus worried so much about the possibility to kill friends. Peter seemed to really care Remus by clasping his hands. You described how foolhardy James was. Sirius you wrote had his style, I like it.
I really like the scene that Sirius and James tried hard to get Peter’s father’s chess set back. It’s so heartwarming. And I like the episode how their name, the Marauders was born. I like their prank rain and the lyrics you thought of (?) and the conversation between McGonagall and them.
I also like the scene, James and Sirius told their animagi plan to Remus first time. The scene, Remus rushed in the classroom where Lily and Severus were, I think Lily’s dialogues are well written. One more, if I add, I wondered how Severus reacted to the Marauders. If you can add Snape’s description, it will be perfect.
I enjoyed the scene how James, Sirius and Peter ( he was thick until he found out the truth, given hints by James and Sirius,) figured out what Remus really was.
I’m glad you set James was so outgoing to be friend with Remus. At the same time, I’m amused by the episode he named both Peter and Remus as Petey and Moony.
The process how Remus, who had been unwilling ( or afraid ) to be friends with James and Sirius, got to get along with them, is really well written. You did a good job, starting this chapter with a letter from Remus to their parents and Peter’s suspicion.
Here to reply to another lovely review! :)
I'm so glad you liked the last scene and how supportive the Marauders were of Remus. They are the best friends ever, aren't they? Glad you liked their individual portrayals as well!
Yes, as I said, they are just great friends! It is very thoughtful and sweet of them to think about that present and put so much effort in realizing it. And I had so much fun with the rhyming prank! Ahahah! It wasn't easy, but it worked in the end and I'm so happy! :)
Glad you liked both the confrontation when they discovered Remus' lycanthropy and later when they told him the Animagi plan. Yes, other people told me that they would have liked to see also a bit of Snape's perspective in that scene, but I was focused on Remus' POV and I don't think he would care...
Glad you liked the part when they figure it out as well. For Peter it was just absurd to imagine it, so that's why it took him so long to understand.
I've always imagined James to be quite spontaneous and easigoing, if a bit intrusive and rowdy. Glad you liked him.
I'm also glad you liked Remus losening up and becoming their friend, as well as the letter in the beginning.
Thank you so much for another great review! :)
Chiara! I'm so sorry I seem to have fallen woefully behind on this story, I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me! ♥♥
Anyway, let's talk about this chapter! I know I've said it in a bunch of my reviews, but it's still true. I'm so impressed with how you handle time jumps without it being overly confusing. I loved that you started this chapter with Mad-Eye's training and it flowed through to the end, where everyone was taking That Picture to celebrate both Lily and Alice being pregnant. It's not something you really think about, but it makes sense since Neville and Harry are only a few days apart. I'm really glad you brought those details together :)
Speaking of details, I loved how you wrote the attack at the house. It was all really easy for me to picture, and writing action is so difficult, so you did a great job. I can totally see Peter sort of ducking and hiding and Sirius getting mad at him for it, so I thought that was really well done to show their dynamic, and Remus coming to his defense. WILL YOU JUST LET THESE TWO GET BACK TOGETHER, CHIARA?! I MEAN REALLY.
Although I will admit that Dorcaes and Remus are cute. I'm glad she's so supportive of him and knows of his mission; Dumbledore's right in that will ease a lot of the burden if he can share it with her.
Ugh, poor Peter. I know all too well that feeling of wanting to be left alone even though your friends try and drag you places. I'm glad James eventually backed off even though he didn't want to.
I have a sneaky suspicion that I know who that voice belongs to... *shivers*
Excellent chapter as always, Chiara! And I've missed your writing and this story. I will be back in the not-so-distant future to continue reading ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Welcome back, love! I have missed you! And you have nothing to apologize for, I'm just glad you decided to come back here! :)
I'm so glad to know that the chapter flowed well and the time jumps were easy to follow. I wanted it to focus on the war and the Order and I hope that worked well. And yes, they would be pregnant in the same period, wouldn't they? Glad you liked the picture bit.
Writing action is definitely difficult, so I'm glad it seemed to work here. I wanted to put focus on Peter's reactions in a battle, because I think it explains a lot of his character and some of his later decisions. I'm glad you liked the dynamics among the Marauders in that scene. As for Peter and Remus getting back together... erm... I can't...?
I'm glad you find Remus and Dorcas cute together, though. They truly are. And he does need her and all her support.
Poor Peter, indeed. He just feels so detatched and lonely at this point. And yes, sometimes you just want to stay on your own, right?
Sorry for the cliffhanger. I have to warn you, the next chapter won't be pretty...
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you love this story! And I can't wait to see you back for the rest! (No pressure, though. When you have time.)
Hi, Chiara! I came here for our review swap!
It's another great chapter! Peter is well written, his quality , yeah, he must have been in Slytherin, considering his way of living in the latter half of his life. Then you made clear why he was sorted into Gryffindor. You set the circumstances very well to make him so sensitive and feel lonely. It's harsh for two of them, Peter and Remus that Remus had to endure his lycanthropy. If he had not been bitten, they could have been good friends continuously.
The Sorting Hat scene is so thrilling, I like it, Chiara! I enjoyed the ceremony as well as Harry's written by J.K.Rowling. It's very original and interesting to read Peter's mind movement and the description of that scene is super!
The other descriptions are very impressive. It's quite fresh to observe those famous Marauders era characters from Peter's eyes, like Lily, Snape, Sirius, Yaxley, James Potter, and so on.
You gave us many reasonings why unconfident Peter could be companions with James and Sirius. It's very convincing.
I think it's one of the best stories I've read recently, Chiara!
Let's do swap again near future!
Hi, Kenny! Finally here to answer this lovely review. Sorry if it took me a bit...
I'm so glad you like my characterization of Peter. Yes, he does have Slytherin qualities, he's irascible, selfish and willing to be successful and considered. But he's also loyal and brave (at least at this stage of his life), and he values Gryffindor's values (and we know that the Sorting Hat takes people's choices into account). Yes, if Remus hadn't been bitten, their relationship would have been much easier and they would have been different people. But that's not how things went.
Ah, I'm so glad you liked the Sorting scene. I love writing them, but sometimes I'm afraid I let myself be carried away a bit too much... so happy you liked Peter's thoughts, and the description, too!
That's how I've always imagined Peter, standing apart and observing and keeping his thoughts to himself. I think it makes sense with his personality, and it's also what makes him such a good spy later on. I'm glad you liked to see all the other characters' descriptions through his eyes.
I'm so, so, so happy you are enjoying this story so much, it is one I'm particularly proud of. And yes, we should totally swap again, I still have a chapter of your story to read.
Thank you for swapping and for the lovely review!
Hi there! So I'm so late in reviewing this, and I can't belive you're finished it already but here I am! Better late than never :P
Oh dear, poor Remus, I do feel sorry him. He didn't ask to be a werewolf, he shouldn't have to deal with all this nonsense prejudice. Although he doesn't make things any easier for himself does he, he should know by now that his friends don't care and aren't gonna judge him. Aha, I love Dorcas though, love her ambition to get into politics, I think she'd be fab at it!
Oh no, poor Tom, sacking Remus must have been a tough decision for him but I suppose he has to think about his business. It was nice of him to try and give Remus some more money, even if Remus was too proud to take it.
Aha, I bet Peter wasn't the only person to have that reaction when they found out about James becoming head boy haha. 6 years of mischief and that's the reward lol, I guess Dumbledore just saw something else in him. Although I'm not a fan of all this talk about growing up, reminding me that I have to start doing that soon and I'd rather not haha.
I defo love Dorcas, always the sensible one.Must have been hard for Remus having to go to the ministry, and then to have Peter's boyfriends there. Definitely not a good day, I'm glad Dorcas was there for him. Oh, no. I think I'm going to change my mind, don't get in the way of him and Peter, just be there as a friend! Sigh, don't mind me, I'll just sit here and sob for them.
Oooh, now this is a relationship I can get behind. James and Lily, looks like things are heating up between them, I suppose he's gring up isn't he. That does make him more attractive, even Lily can't resist that haha.
I still can't get over Peter and Remus! I need them to make up, and preferably soon please! They're going to kill me. Hmm, I guess I knew this was coming, but I'm glad they didn't all immediately say yes. I'm glad you made James and Sirius though, it wouldn't' seem right, those two not wanting to sign up and fight! It is sad though, and shows just how dangerous the world they're living in is.
Aww, those two are just so cute, you write them so well! Of course they've got something planned, they wouldn't be the marauders without planning something. I wonder what it is?
Hahaha, James! Of course he would do something like that! Each boy receiving their diploma was so different, and it was so in character and a great read!
WOW! That was perfect, poor Snape, kind of, but the firework and everything was just great! A perfect ending to them finishing school, which is actually kind of sad, but I suppose it must happen to everyone at some point.
Another great chapter! I'm excited to see what happens next, especially now they've finished Hogwarts! :)
Shaza! I'm so thrilled to see you back! Thank you so, so, so much for stopping by again, it was such a lovely surprise!!! :D
Yes, poor kid... he really doesn't deserve such a treatment... :( ah, yes, I know, he should've learned that his friends won't judge him, but I don't think he'll ever get it, that's just how he is.
Yes, I don't think Tom liked it... but I guess he couldn't really act differently... poor Remus, though... :(
Ahahah! No, I bet a lot of people would have that reaction. :P Yes, Dumbledore must have seen much more in James than the troublemaker. He is much more than that. And I can sympathize with you on the growing up thing... adulting... urgh...
Dorcas is awesome! Yes, I know that you ship Remus and Peter and I'm sorry it isn't working out... and I'm afraid it won't really work out in the future... *sorry* Believe me, Remus does need Dorcas in his life... but I can see why this upset you... :(
Ahahah! Yes! Jily! Jily 5ever! (No, I don't ship them, not even a little bit... :P) He is growing up, and she does notice. :D
Once again, I'm sorry... I'm glad you liked the Order bit, and that not all of them agreed immediately. I do think it is very in character for James and Sirius to jump in immediately, though. and I'm glad you agree with me. And yes, it is sad...
They wouldn't be the Marauders without a huge goodbye prank, would they? :D I'm so glad you loved James' speech, that's something he would totally do. And I'm so glad you liked all the different ways they reacted at receiving their diploma! It was much fun to write, and the prank as well (yes, poor Snape...)
Thank you so much for this absolutely wonderful review! It really made me so happy! And I can't wait to know what you think of the rest (but no pressure, there's no rush at all, whenever you have time)
So much love and snowball hug,
The last chapter!! Ahh, I can't believe this wonderful story is over. But I think I was only partway through Jimmy Portman so now I'm even more excited to finish it now that I know the background!
Anyway, back to this chapter. I loved the way you made such a major twist in canon in an entirely believable way. If Peter were to do anything differently from his actions in the books, I think it wouldn't be not selling out the Potters, but it would be some sort of damage control in an indirect way, and that's exactly what you have here and it makes a lot of sense. The way you've characterized Peter throughout the whole story supports his actions here - he's never been the sort of person to run headlong into anything, rather, to change things from the safety and anonymity of the shadows he's used to occupying.
Your characterization of Peter is one of the best I've ever read, and while I don't really like him, at times I can sympathize with him and relate to him, and making a reader feel that about such a universally disliked character is impressive.
His relationship with Remus was my favourite part of the story overall, because it's a ship I've never seen anywhere else (100 gold stars for originality) and because it really makes sense - James and Sirius were best friends and closest to each other out of the four, so it's understandable that Remus and Peter would be close too, not to mention that they're the quieter of the four Marauders. But ultimately their personalities were incompatible in a romantic relationship - Remus is too self-deprecating and Peter isn't strong enough to handle it - but there's still something there, some leftover feelings that lasted through a lot of heartbreak and other lovers and even if they don't get back together in a romantic sense, there's a definite sense of hope that things will be okay between them and that the love will always be there.
The scene with Silvia and Mary was so heartbreaking as she realizes what Peter has done. That must be so hard to come to terms with, especially as Peter is her only child. And the scene with James and Lily was so sad as well, with Lily being pregnant again right after losing Harry, I can see how she doesn't feel ready and her anxiety that the new baby will be just a replacement is so sad, but makes so much sense right after what she and James have been through.
The lines during Sirius and Remus' discussion about how it was easier for Sirius to distrust a werewolf because everyone else did, and how Sirius should have trusted Remus - those were such poignant lines and ouch, there's a lot of hurt there and unintentional discrimination, which is so hurtful because they're best friends and I think Sirius is uncomfortable confronting that about himself which is why he tries to gloss over with humor. I am glad he owned up to it and apologized though, even if he deflects his feelings with jokes. But as hard as this scene was, it was really nice to think that they were able to reconcile without Sirius sitting in prison for 13 years for something he didn't do while Remus thought Sirius was a murderer. But... poor Alice and Frank :'(
Thank you for writing this amazing story! I've enjoyed every word of it, and you are so talented.
I'm so glad you got to the end of this with me! You are just the best friend and reviewer ever and I love you so much!!!
I'm glad you thought the twist in canon made sense. Yes, I totally agree, Peter would try to find a solution in the less exposing way possible, I love your character analysis here, it's just so perfect!
And I'm so glad you liked my characterization of Peter. Heading people say they they could understand him and sympatize with him to an extent is such a huge compliment to me and makes me so proud!
I'm so glad you loved the Peter/Remus ship, too! I'm actually not sure where it came from but I'm glad it made sense. I always thought Peter and Remus would be closer, since James and Sirius are such a strong duo. And yes, they couldn't really work as a couple because, like you say, their personalities just aren't compatible that way, but they'll always have strong feelings for each other.
Silvia and Mary's scene is probably my favourite in this chapter. Yes, it would be so hard for a mother accepting that about her only child... :( And yes, poor Lily... I'm glad you could understand her feelings in that situation.
I'm so glad you liked the scene between Remus and Sirius, too. I love your analysis of that as well because it's just what I was trying to express! And yes, it is much better than Sirius being sent to Azkaban for cries he didn't commit. Yes, I know, Alice and Frank... :(
Thanks to you for reading and for all your wonderful reviews and for being so supportive throughout! It means so much that you enjoyed this!
So much love,
CHIARA ♥ ♥ ♥
Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing this amazing story! It's one of my top favourites on this site, and I've enjoyed being a part of the journey every step of the way.
I love how you've tied it in to Jimmy, and if I hadn't already starting reading Jimmy I would definitely be right over there to see what happens next. So I think you've done a really good job in merging the two stories, and it's really impressive how close to canon you kept it.
I love (well, it made me very sad too) how you swapped James and Lily's demise for Frank and Alice's - you've warped canon and I think it works really well.
The scene with Peter and baby Harry is actually so cute. And Lily is pregnant again, ahhh!
I love the scene between Silvia and Mary, even though it breaks my heart. I love that we get to see more reactions over Peter from different viewpoints, especially from someone so close to him.
I'm so glad Remus and Sirius made up. But poor Remus still having feelings for Peter :( I must say though, I do prefer this reality where James is still alive :P
And I just LOVE the last line. I think it actually sounds quite ominous, and I can't wait to see what happens if they really do meet again.
Congratulations again, Chi. I'm so proud of you and so grateful that you wrote this story that I love so much! And I'm so happy to have been a part in it.
All my love
B ♥ ♥ ♥
Aww, B... *hug* *wub*
Thank you so much for all your help and support and for following me till here! I've already told again and again, but I wouldn't have got to the end without you!!!
I'm so glad you liked the link to Jimmy! I wanted it to be canon until Peter chooses a different path, that's what Jimmy was all about, after all. :)
I'm glad the switch to Frank and Alice worked. Yes, I know, sad... but it had to happen... :(
I'm glad you found Peter with Harry cute! He will become a good father for him. :) And yes, Lily is pregnant again...
I think Mary and Silvia's scene was my favourite in this chapter. Poor Mary, it must be so hard for a mother to learn that her child is not a good person... :( I'm glad that you liked to see all different reactions about Peter, though.
Yes, they made up. Maybe not completely yet, but they'll get there. Yes, Remus still has feelings for Peter. He has lost so much... but I see why this universe is better, with Lily and James alive, Sirius not in Azkaban and Remus not completely alone. :)
They will meet again... can't tell you how it will go, though... (yes, I need to get back to Jimmy...)
I'm so glad you've been a part of this as well! Thank you so much again for everything, little B! Love you so much!
Chiara. I'm so sorry it's taken so long! It's been a whirlwind of a few days and now I finally have a second to myself... in the airport :p So I'm sorry for any typos and for not being able to leave a very long/thorough review as I'm writing this on my phone!
OKAY SO. This is absolutely the best chapter so far. Honestly, I think it's the best chapter you've ever written. The content of this chapter breaks my heart in so many ways, but it's so powerful and effective storytelling and it's a perfect example of what I was telling you the other day on twitter, that you're an incredibly talented writer.
A lot of things that have come up in the story so far start to tie together here, just as they're all falling apart for the characters. My heart breaks for every single character here - James for finding out his family is targeted, Sirius for being the most loyal person ever and finding out someone has repaid that with selling out Order secrets, Remus for losing Dorcas right after she reaffirmed how she was going to stick with him and made him feel more human as he does this emotionally difficult task with the werewolves, and Peter... ah. I simultaneosly feel sorry for him and hate him because in the end he did choose, he had a choice, and he made selfish decisions that sold out other people. But a lot of that bad decision making stemmed from feeling like an outsider among his friends, and from the fallout with his best friend/ex. But what he did to Dorcas is inexcusable. I hope he felt horrible for that. But I love that so much of this chapter is from Peter's pov because he's definitely in the most dificult place of all of them and has the most internal struggle (even if he did put himself there to begin with) and you did such a wonderful job delving into his motivations and why and how he did what he did, in a way that explains everything.
This was so good. You should be proud. Amazing work, as usual! ♥ ♥
It wasn't too long, no worries! Thank you so much for stopping by! *hug*
Aww... *blushing* you are way too nice to me... sorry for breaking your heart... this breaks mine too...
I'm so glad you could feel for all the characters. They are so tragic... :(
And Peter... I understand that feeling, and I'm glad that you could still feel sorry for him while hating him. Yes, he did have a choice and he did make selfish decisions. And what he did to Dorcas is just awful... :( He did feel very, very bad for it.
But I'm glad that seeing everything from his point of view could at least explain his motives and that you could still feel for him.
Thank you so much for another amazing review, it means so much to me that you love this story so much!
Snowball hug, darling!
Transfrerred from HPFF
Hi! I came as a jailbreaker for Abbie at CTF Round 2
This story began with Peter’s kid days. I’ve never encountered such a story. There are lots of mother’s love and I smiled at Peter’s play a flying phoenix. Ouch, Peter, you got an injury. Everyone does have some injuries in one’s kid days.
Reading him cry hard, I sensed his timidity. I know kids cry when they got an injury, but I sensed that you put the episode intentionally to connect his future situation, is that right?
Oh, was Peter’s mother from House of Yaxley? I wondered the name influenced Peter’s future choice. And you set Remus there. Hmm, an interesting plot. They had already known each other before going to Hogwarts. It’s a heartwarming scene that they built a sand Hogwarts together.
Another heartwarming scene. Remus and his father would make a swing using an apple tree. I remembered my younger days. I used to climb a tree with my friends.
Oh, no. Remus didn’t feel good. Does that mean he had already been bitten by a werewolf? Was that before full moon or after that? Oh, I was sure. He had to be in there alone. Then the full moon was coming. Oh, my guess was right. So sad for his parents, especially for his mother who spent longer time with him than his father. I’ve never read Lycanthropy themed story from his mother’s POV. It’s brilliant!
You gave a chance to Peter for his bravery. I was very amazed by the episode which made him Gryffindor. So sad most of Lupin’s friend bullied him after he confessed them what he was. I guess Peter was the first person who knew Lupin and understood him in your story. And I love your descriptions about Peter's tiny reaction in detail here and there.Your writing is full of affection towards each character. It’s a great start with the story!
Hey, Kenny! Welcome! :D
Yes, I know... Peter isn't a common character to focus on, but I really love exploring him, and I love writing children! Glad you liked the opening scene!
That's exactly what I was going for. Peter is such a shy and insecure character and his reaction to his injury served to show exactly those traits.
There might be a connection between him being related to the Yaxleys and his future choices, but it will all be dealt with in due time.
Glad you liked Remus and Peter's early friendship and the things they did together! :D
Yes, he's already been bitten, and this is just before his first transformation... :( And poor Silvia, too... it must be so painful for a mother, knowing your son will have to go through all that and being unable to do anything to help him... :( Glad you liked this perspective! :D
Peter does care a lot about Remus and yes, he did show a little bit of Gryffindor bravery in that moment. It's so horrible that Remus would be bullied like that... children can be cruel... but he does have a good friend in Peter at least!
Thank you so much for the sweet review!
Hey there, back again! Sorry it's been a while but I'm very excited to read it again! :)
Aww, cute responsible Remus worrying about what his friends would think. You'd think that with his friends accepting him as a werewolf then they'd be okay with him being a Prefect... But I guess he's not the Remus we love without a bit of worrying!
Ooooh, things are getting interesting. Well, a bit of thinking but it's a start! I'm actually quite excited to see what happens between them now. That's a really cute scene between Remus and his father, I love the advice he gives him. Sounds like a smart guy (guessing Remus totally inherited those genes). Although you've BROKE MY HEART- "So a person affected by lycantrophy doesn't have the right to love and be loved". I'm glad his dad tried to get him to see it's ridiculous but the fact that he grows up thinking that is heartbreaking!
OMG, Peter is jealous?! I hope this is true, because that would be so cute for Remus but I guess I'll have to wait and see. That whole scene though, it just screams Peter like Remus!
Aha, I think Remis should have been worried less about what his friends would think about him being prefect and more about how he was going to keep them in line! Although it's interesting seeing them come up with the idea for the map/what they had to do to find out stuff. Wow, well that took a turn for the depressing. Oh no, I hope she's okay!
Ergh, can I just despise Regulus? How is he even related to Sirius? I love how you portray their relationship though, because he is still his brother so it's not going to be easy to just forget about him and let him get on with joining the dark side.
Omg this is going to be a long story if these two keep this up! :P Jeez, I wish they'd just get on with it! (Okay so I wrote that before reading on, clearly!) OH MY WORD!! I don't know weather to be really pleased or sit here and sob because he thinks he doesn't like him! Oh what has he done! I hope Remus fixes it, and quickly!
Aww, poor Remus! That does sound awfully confusing, makes me glad it's not me having to figure that one out. Lol, Sirius isn't as good as giving advice as Remus' dad is he. I'm glad it kind of helped, and that he saw a bit of sense being loved as well.
Aha, well that's one way to do it, shout ‘I love you' down a corridor. Well done Remus haha. Aww, I'm so glad they worked it out though! Yay for them! (I'm going to ignore the bit about Dorcas for now because they're finally happy :P)
Another great chapter, although I'm scared to move on to the next one because it's called heartbreakers and that just can't be good D:
It's so great to have you back here! And you really have nothing to apologize for, this was totally unexpected and super appreciated! :D
Ahahah! Like you said, that's Remus. He needs to worry about just anything... ;) And of course his friends would be okay with it, but I think a bit of teasing is definitely a possibility. :P
John is absolutely an intelligent man, other than a caring father. And yes, Remus did inherit those genes! :) I'm sorry that saddened you... but it's just Remus' way of thinking... :(
Peter is jealous. You got that right. ;)
Being a Prefect and a Marauder at the same time can't be easy... Poor Remus... Ahahah! Glad you enjoyed the Map bit! As for Mary... sorry about that, but she will be fine.
Oh, Regulus... he really isn't a bad person, just misguided... but I can't blame you for despising him. Glad you liked their relationship, though. They have different views and can't really get each other, but they are brothers and they do love and care for each other.
It mustn't be simple, for either of them. They are both very unsecure and in need of external acceptance and I think Remus especially would be scared of being "different", since he already has to deal with lycanthropy. They will fix it though, at least for a bit...
Poor Remus, indeed... Ahahah! No, Sirius isn't very good with advices, but he tried at least. And he did give Remus a push in the right direction. ;)
To Remus' benefit, it was an empty classroom, not a corridor... :P But yeah, that's pretty unconsiderate... Remus does these reckless things from time to time... but it did work, and that's what matters. Right? ;)
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed this chapter as well! No, I'm afraid the next one won't be happy... but I would love it if you get there just the same...
Thank you so much for the review, love!
Hey, figured I'd carry on since I really want to know what happens next! And hitting the Hufflepuff review tag while I'm here :P
Aw, the letter is such a sweet touch! Poor Lupin, it must be hard to know that the two people he can talk freely about everything to are only accessible by a letter. Although YES! So glad to see he hates lying to Peter, hopefully the truth comes out soon. It's so strange to read about how he doesn't trust James and Sirius though, it's an interesting twist and it makes this even more intriguing. I think I use that word too much when reviewing this story but I just always have questions and always want to read on! Hmm, I hope they were just being nice and that Remus' wolf sense is off, although I'm wondering if that's going to be some sort of plot twist!
Oooh, I was so confused but I see now! Wow, well I guess someone had to put them in their place and with Remus' temperament at the full moon it makes sense that it's him. Hahaha, Lockhart! Omg, I love that mention. Aww, well that was unexpected but I'm glad they seem to be friends now, and that Remus is feeling a little more trustful.
Oooh, this is getting tense! Omg, I can't believe they figured it out although I like that it was Sirius, was a nice touch as I think out of all three of them he'd be the one to make that connection with the once a month/full moon. Oh no, I hope Peter is nice to him, at least James and Sirius seem to want to be nice. Although I hope they do ask him because I don't know if Peter is going to be able to keep it a secret and if he blurts it out that would be a nightmare. Aha, I love that little slip of the "You can't be serious..I'm not you are." Aha, that pun never gets old!
Aww, they told him? Yes they did! Omg, this makes me so happy! YAY!! I love how you've written this, like it's honestly perfection! Look at Lily being all protective of Remus, and just immediately calling out James. Your writing is just filled with little details that make the characters so real and it's just so good!
Oh, so I'm guessing they've started discussing becoming animagus? Bless them, and in third year! Well they're loyalty can't be faulted.Although I can see both points of view because Remus knows it's dangerous and obviously doesn't want to put the first friends who've accepted him in danger but likewise, they don't want to leave him in danger of himself. I love how you've written this just using dialogue as well, it really emphasises the conversation and just how stubborn both sides are being!
Ahahaha, yay a prank! How funny, and how clever of you to think up those rhymes! I'm so impressed, I couldn't even rhyme 2 lines never mind a paragraph of my story. I love the prank and the idea that McGonagall gave them the idea to be called the marauders. I had no idea it actually meant something so that's really cool!
Oh my word, that last paragraph! Reduce me to pieces, break my heart, it's fine! :P No, but seriously you've got across how Remus must have felt when he realised his friends could transform and spend the full moon with him. It must have been so life-changing and amazing and he must have been so happy! Aww, I'm so glad it all worked out for them!
Well this was longer than I thought, I apologise if it's all ramble but I'm loving this story! Looking forward to reading the next chapter!
Aww... this was such a nice surprise, finding your review waiting for me yesterday morning... definitely brightened my Monday! :D (And for the record, I don't mind rambling... feel free to do that as much as you want! :P)
I guess a lot of children would've felt homesick and missed their families when starting Hogwarts. For Remus this is particularly true, since he feels he can't trust anyone the way he trusts his parents... poor child...
And yes, obviously he hates lying to Peter... he knows he's being unfair to the only friend he has and he truly cares for him, but on the other hand he fears that Peter would be afraid of him if he knew the truth. In a way, he's trying to protect him.
James and Sirius... well, they can be quite a lot to deal with... they have good hearts, but we know they have a tendency to be overbearing, and Remus did have his fair lot of experience with bullies. Remus sees a lot of Duncan in them, which is the reason he can't trust them. In that case they were just being nice, though. :)
A few scenes are a bit confusing, I'm sorry about that... I'm trying to fit into the seven scenes structure and to do so I cut out a few moments that would've made the flow smoother... anyway...
Someone had to tell them off. ;) I'm not sure if Remus' words will have much of an effect on their behaviour anyway. :P Glad you liked Lockhart's mention. Eheheh! I guess Remus just needed to see how authentic they are, you know? Despite what he says, he does need friends.
For some reason, I thought it'd made sense for Sirius to be the one to make the connection. Peter would've never figured it out, because to him it would've been too absurd. And James just isn't reflective enough? I doubt Peter would be nasty to Remus anyway even if he does have some prejudices... Peter knows Remus and that makes all the difference. As for James and Sirius, they hate prejudices and just wouldn't care. At least, that's how I imagine it. :D (and yay for Sirius/serious puns. I love Sirius/serious puns. I didn't put enough of them in this story...)
Yes, they did! Glad you liked that scene! And I love Lily, she's brilliant! :) Glad you like the details and that you feel they give the characters depth!
Yes, they're starting to discuss Animagi. :) I'm glad the dialogue helped emphasizing the stubborness on both sides. And yay for Marauders' loyalty! Aren't they just awesome friends?
Ahahah! The prank! That took me quite some time to figure out... I have to say, writing rhymes in a language you're not sure the pronunciation of isn't easy... doing rhymes in Italian is much easier... :P but apparently it worked out! ;)
I'm glad you liked they got the idea for the name from McGonagall. It was actually an idea I took from Ysh's story, sort of... she had Peeves giving them the name but it was after a prank like here, so pretty similar circumstancies...
I'm sorry... or maybe not... :P Ah, I'm glad you think I captured Remus' emotions well there. After enduring it all alone for so long, it must've been so liberating and joyful to have someone by his side! Did I mention I love Remus?
Uh oh... I'm afraid I rambled even more than you did... hope you don't mind...
Thank you so much again for stopping by! I really hope you'll be back again, cause I'd love to know your thoughts on the rest!
All my love and hugs!
Hey there! :D
Aww, well doesn't that bring back awful memories of the first day of school and everyone being so much taller and more grown up than you! Poor Peter, it must have been hard enough and then he bumped into family who don't seem to nice and he didn't even know he had. The stark contrast between Remus and Peter's experience on the train is a nice touch because while Peter does get brought into a compartment with family, albit they don't seem to nice, Lupin finds himself in a compartment with two people he doesn't know and it sounds like he spends it by himself.
Wow, Slytherin? I love that you made the hat dither and then eventually listen to Peter as to where he goes. I can see how it would make sense with some of what you've shown about him especially in the first chapter. It really makes him feel more complex and shows another side than just the typical brave Gryffindor side.
Aww, this story really does make you feel sorry for Peter! He must have been so hurt and upset at being left by Remus but I'm glad he was willing to make friends with him again. Even if it is with a rather big lie between them.
Your observations are amazing! I love the little extra details and depth they give to the story. Although kind of makes me want to strangle Remus, haha! I hope Peter finds out soon, I feel like this secrecy can only go on for so long! Aww, no! See this is why Remus needs to tell! I hope they make back up. I mean I can understand why Remus doesn't want to tell but it's so frustrating haha!
Oooh, I wonder if Peter will just work it out by logic! Ben missing 3 times in 3 months....although I suppose that's only obvious to me because I know! Good on him for getting the courage to speak to James and Sirius! I hope this is the start of a beautiful friendship between the three(four) of them! Although now I'm curious how Remus will react when he knows Peter has been with them?
Another fab chapter, this is such an intriguing story!
First day of school is hard... I had that feeling in my first year of middle school, being so little compared to the older kids... glad you could empathize with Peter, but sorry for bringing back bad memories... :/
Ah, I'm glad you liked the contrast between the two of them. I don't think either of them had a particularly nice first trip to Hogwarts, though...
Well, apparently it is canon for Peter being an hatstall (or so my canon-expert beta Ysh tells me...) and it just makes sense in my opinion. Peter can be brave and loyal, but we know he has a much darker side and we know he chose to save himself and sacrifice others in the end. He definitely has a bit of Slytherin in him, don't you agree?
Peter is very hurt and upset about Remus abandoning him... but they'll make up, at least for now...
I'm glad you liked the observations bit and the details they add. Oh, I know... but don't be too hard on Remus, he's gone through a lot and is just scared of suffering again...
I don't think it would be so easy to figure out. Also because it is something I doubt Peter would take into consideration... but you'll find out more about it all in the next chapter (if you happen to come back and read on...)
Yay for Peter talking to James and Sirius! You'll find out more about that in the next chapter, too... but yes, the Marauders are definitely in the making! ;)
Thank you for swapping with me! I'm do glad you enjoyed this chapter too! And I'm so happy I got the chance to read your Lavender story, it really was amazing!!!
Love and hugs,
Hey Ciara, I'm just transferring some reviews over from HPFT :)
Hey Chiara, here for the Hufflepuff review swap!
I don't think I've actually read a story focused on Peter as the main character before so I'm excited to read this and see how you portray him!
I love how you set the chapter up, Peter's mum actually makes me think Peter could have turned out quite shy as she seems quite overprotective. Although I suppose most mothers wouldn't want their child to be in pain. And you make Peter sound like such a cute child, it's strange to imagine him as the one who betrayed Lily and James but I guess at this point he isn't.
Aww no, I think you've just broke my heart! Poor Remus, having to transform all by himself when he's so young. He must have been so scared, especially for the first time. Again I love the motherly love you show with Silvia staying outside all night.
And things just get worse. Kids can be so mean, and I definitely think that's an important part to show. Makes the idea of him being a marauder so much sweeter. And I love how Peter tries to stand up for Remus even though he doesn't know what's going on. With what he does when he's older it's easy to forget he was a Gryffindor and I think him sticking up for Remus shows that perfectly!
Now I feel sorry for Peter, which isn't something I ever thought I would! Remus was rather mean to him (although I get why) but now he's just left him! That must have hurt, especially being so young and he doesn't even know why. I'm glad something made him smile, even if only a little one. It's his birthday and he deserved that!
Oh, leaving for Hogwarts must have been a terrifying time for Remus and I think you've done a great job in showing that! He has to leave the two people he was closest too, and the two people who know and accept his condition and now he's going to have to live with others his own age. And after what other people his age have done to him, no wonder he's scared.
This was a great start to what seems like it's going to be an interesting story! I'm going to have to come back and read on!
- Shaza :)
So, now I owe you two review responses... I've been so lazy at this recently and I'm sorry...
I'm so happy you are intrigued by this. Peter's stories are not very frequent and that's a pity. He is a much complex character than often depicted and, I swear, so fascinating to explore. I must confess, I've developed a little affection for him. Weird, I know...
That's exactly what I was doing for with Mary. She is overprotective and Peter does turn out quite shy and uncertain as a result. At this point in his life he's just a child like many others. The betrayal is still far away.
It always breaks my heart to think about Remus going through all that since such an early age... the poor child... I hated myself a little writing that scene, but then again, we know this happened...
And poor Silvia as well... can you imagine how hard it must've been for her? I'm glad you liked the motherly love there!
Kids can be so nasty. I could totally imagine something like this happening. It also explain why Remus is so reticent to share his secret with anyone. I'm glad you liked Peter showing some Gryffindor bravery and loyalty.
Poor Peter... Remus was unfair to him, but you can't really blame him... after everything that happened he's just scared of Peter's reaction and worried for his safety. I'm happy I made you feel sorry for Peter, though! #authorpride
Leaving for Hogwarts was scary for Remus. He's obviously very close to his parents and he worries about all the things that could go wrong... he does that a bit too much but, once again, can you really blame him? Fortunately we know he'll meet some pretty amazing friends and that he'll be riunited to Peter soon. :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter! This story is currently my main focus/obsession and I'm so thrilled that it's been received so well so far!
Thanks so much for the lovely review!