Hiiii, I'm back! Trying to keep up my promise!
Marauders - I love this chapter name! I know this is really small, but I love the image you painted of Remus chewing on the end of his quill. It's just such a - KID - thing to do! Haha, Remus still doesn't like Potter and Black, does he?
Poor Remus, I can't even begin to image the little 11 year old trying hard to hide such a big secret from everyone around him. Especially with Peter being the nosy guy he is.. And his low self esteem making him doubt James and Sirius.
I absolutely LOVE the Marauders' dialogue!!! OMG Chiara, you are a Marauders genius!!! I'm so much in love with the dynamics between the boys!
Aww, James and Sirius solving the mystery - so like them!! And, Peter - darn - he's a Slytherdor alright! And Remus' fear, reaction to their confrontation - all so natural. Poor Remus! He must have been so scared :(
And the Moony headcanon! We are so in sync! I like to believe that the nicknames just came up at different points in time! Ooh I remember Peter's gift, we discussed about it, didn't we?
Also, You are such a genius because you wrote so much in rhyme!!! You amaze me, more and more, Chi!!!! I can't get over how wonderfully amazing this chapter is!!! So much happened, and it just flowed so well I couldn't believe we had reached the end... and YES Remus is beginning to feel things for Peter! This is amazing!!!!!
The wolf is happy, and so is Ysh.
Because you are, my dear betaaa, a GENIUS!!!!
I am back!! :-D
Loving the snippet like format. It tells more of the story, and the pacing is so wonderful. It feels like so much has happened but in so few words! I love it!
Ahhh the Yaxley connection becomes more relevant now! I absolutely LOVE the way you described Peter's reactions - his initial feeling of discomfort at meeting Yaxley. Kind of makes me feel like he wasn't always 'bad'.
Hahaa, Remus' instincts about James and Sirius so spot on. Of course they are trouble!
Peter's sorting in my favorite bit. The snarkiness of the Sorting Hat, the Slytherin expectations of Yaxley weighing him down, his eagerness to be with Remus... very much like Harry, being in Gryffindor becomes his choice. I'm loving every single bit of this! Peter's characterization becomes more solid - from a small child who was teased by everyone, you've shaped him to be such a believable character - silent, observant, yearning for attention, craving popularity - so typical of an adolescent boy!
While most stories (mine included) make Remus the one who befriends the Marauders first, I love that you've made Peter be that first contact. It makes so much sense in your story too - with Remus' consistent disappearance, Peter might have felt the urge to reach out - just like you have him do here. Have I told you how brilliant you are? I'm pretty sure I have, but I can't say it enough! Honestly!
Lots of Love and Snowball hugs!!!
Chi <3 <3
I can't believe I have beta-ed part of the novel but never stopped by with a review! Well, that's about to change now! I'm going to review every chapter of this amazing story (and then some!) Your AP has become more amazing since the last time I stopped by.
Anyway, I digress.. Coming to the chapter
You know how much I adore your depiction of Peter, but I honestly can't say it enough. This chapter has painted such an amazing picture of Remus and Peter's childhood. I love that they knew each other before Hogwarts, makes it all the more special. And, Yaxley? Loving that link to a Death Eater last name!
It is heartbreaking, seeing Remus' reaction to transformations at a younger age. Honestly, I LOVE your insights into their childhood. I struggle so much with relating to characters so much younger to myself, and I admire you so much for being able to do it so perfectly!!! Remus' fear, apprehension, anger and needing reassurance is all so natural <3 <3 I also LOVE Remus' relationship with his parents! His mother, especially. I agree, your headcanon of John and Silvia is amazing!
I love the way this is written, in snippets and with a lot of dialogue - it takes the story forward in such a great pace! We get a bigger picture in shorter bursts. And it's all so natural - their reactions, the sequence of events - I LOVE it!
Peter and Remus as children seem so... so natural! And Peter... I know this was a Remus heavy chapter, and most people paint Peter as someone mousy from the beginning, but I love how innocuous he is - as all children are! You know how much I love your characterizations! And I can't gush enough about it!!
I could go on all day about how I'm super excited about what I know is going to happen, so I'm going to spare some of those excitement for the next chapters, that I'm going to review!!
Loads of love <3
Oh my god Chiara I loved this chapter so much! I can’t even begin to describe my love for this chapter! What a ride!
I felt so bad for Remus in the beginning. When he was trying to figure out what to write to his parents, and was warring with himself over if he should tell Peter the truth or not. I just wanted to hug him. And Peter was so sweet. Even though he was suspicious of Remus, his concern won out and he was just so lovely. I think it’s hilarious that he didn’t like James and Sirius much in the beginning. That argument between James and Remus was so funny, and really showed their ages at the time. I loved it.
It was great to see the three boys working out that Remus was actually a werewolf. Even though Peter did have that brief moment of doubt regarding remaining his friend, i was glad to see that the pretty much immediately decided that it didn’t matter. I can totally see that, and imagine that’s how it would have been in canon. Also, I imagine Remus’ initial reaction would be to run away from them, once they told him they knew.
The scene about them telling Remus they were going to become Animagi was great. Of course Remus would be like, no absolutes not. And of course the other three would be like, tough we’re doing it anyway hahahaha.
Can I just say that the prank they pulled was one of the funniest things I have ever read! I was legit cracking up the entire time! And I completely lost it at
”I do wonder, Potter, how the heck,
is that fat head sustained by your neck?”
That was absolutely perfect! I’m laughing again just thinking of it!
Poor Remus. No wonder he went prematurely grey! It wasn’t due to the awful things that happened years from now, it was probably because of the stress his friends gave him lol. Poor kid probably has an ulcer! He was so worried. But it was wonderful to see him realize that he could be playful and enjoy the full moon. Such a lovely note for this chapter to end on
This was siriusly great, my love! I loved it so, so much! I can’t wait to continue on!!
Tons of love and hugs,
Aww, Meg! I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter so much! It's great to know that you are loving this! :D
Yes, poor Remus, feeling so bad about lying to Peter but too scared of his possible reaction to tell him the truth... and Peter's concern for him is really sweet, I'm glad you like their relationship. :)
I'm also glad you liked how they all became friends and the argument between James and Remus that led to it. :) I'm glad you liked how James, Sirius and Peter figured out Remus' secret and their reactions, and that you felt it could be how things went in canon. :)
Ahahah! Yes, can't you imagine it going exactly that way? With Remus trying to convince them to renounce and them basically ignoring him? :P
When you talked on Twitter about the funniest line, I guessed you were referring to that one. I must confess, I'm quite proud of my rhyming prank. I'm so glad it made you laugh! :)
Dealing with them must not have been simple for Remus, ahahah! But they did make his transformations bearable and his Hogwarts' years happy. Remus is lucky to have such wonderful friends. :)
Thank you so much, my love! I'm so glad you are enjoying this! We can swap again sometime, maybe, what do you say?
Huge snowball hug,
Hey love! I’m here for our swap!
So I know that I read and reviewed the first chapter of this a while ago. I thought so, before I started reading. And then when I began the first chapter I definitely remebered reading it before.
I love your Peter already. As I’m reading how meek, quiet and sweet he seems, I keep think, how does this man end up becoming the Pettigrew we all know and hate? But of course you said that this story ends on an AU note, so hopefully there’s a redemption for him in the making. I don’t want to hate this shy little boy.
It’s so sad, because obviously Remus disappeared due to the whole werewolf thing, but he can’t tell Peter that. And poor Peter is just left thinking that his only friend deserted him. *sniffles* Awww boys. :(
Can I say how much I loved that Remus’ first impression of James and Sirius was that they were trouble, and couldn’t be trusted? Because of course, with their pranking habits, most people probably shouldn’t have trust them haha. And it’s interesting that you have Yaxley as Peter’s cousin. Is that canon? Or have you written that in another fic? I feel like I’ve seen that somewhere before.
The small introductions to some of the other characters I loved. It wasn’t an overload of information, but just enough to keep it interesting. Even just the simple lines of how Mary and Dorcas take their tea. Will we be seeing more of some of these other characters? I think we all know I’m quite partial to Mary.
I felt so bad when it was nearing the full moon. Remus was feeling crappy, and Peter was so concerned. But then Remus couldn’t tell him the truth, even though Peter kept pressing. Then Remus kind of stormed off. I can’t wait until Peter knows the truth. I feel like some of the tension will be gone that way.
Aww and then we get to see the beginning of Peter’s friendship with James and Sirius. It’s so bittersweet, because i want them to be friends, but then i don’t want Peter to betray them. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed for an AU ending that won’t leave me in tears lol.
This is really great, my love. I can already see why it’s won and has been nominated for so many awards. Totally well deserved! I’ll be back again to continue on!
Sending tons of love and hugs,
Thank you so much, it's always so lovely to swap with you! We should do this more often! :) And yes, you did review the first chapter already, on HPFF I think. :)
I'm glad you love my Peter! :) Right now he's only a child and of course he's not the person that will betray his friends yet... but he does have his flaws and they will show little by little... and well, this will end in AU and there might be a redemption for him in the making... but you will have to read on to actually find out... :P
Yes, poor Peter, thinking he was abandoned by Remus... and poor Remus, having to deal with lycanthropy... it is sad, but at least Peter will find out the truth soon and be able to support his friend ;)
James and Sirius can't be trusted. :P But maybe Remus is a bit too harsh on them... he will get to know and appreciate them soon, though. :) As for Peter being a Yaxley on his mother's side... no, it isn't canon (unless JK said it somewhere and I'm a Seer...) and I only wrote that in the Jimmy Portman series... maybe you remember it from the first chapter of this story?
I'm glad you liked the little glimpses of other characters. :) I'm afraid Mary won't have a central role, but she will appear once or twice. :) (No, I had no idea you had a soft spot for Mary... not at all... :P btw, little spoiler but I hope you don't mind: Mary is lesbian. And I think it was you who inspired me to write her that way)
Yes, poor Remus and Peter again... a lot of tension will be definitely released once Peter finds out...
And yes, Peter is starting to approach James and Sirius. The friendship is in the making. :) Can't guarantee that there won't be tears, I'm afraid... :(
I'm so glad you are enjoying this story and my little Petey, and I really hope that you will keep enjoying the chapters to come!
Thank you so much again for the swap and the lovely review!
Oh no, things are getting really dramatic and everything, and I'm starting to feel a little panicked about what's going to happen next. I can see the title starting to play a role in the theme of the story, with Peter accusing Remus of constantly lying and never being honest, and I probably should've expected that the title would only lead to sadness, but I still wasn't prepared. I'm feeling really sad from all the different emotions that this chapter expressed, haha.
You covered two huge canon events in this chapter. The scene where Remus almost killed Snape because of Sirius is super important, and I'm not going to talk too much about this because I already babbled on for too long in that other review I left you! (Speaking of which, is that the event referenced in this chapter? The letter from James's father that makes him so upset, and that makes his friends so sympathetic towards him? If it is, you slipped it in very subtly, and very well.) But just know that I still think that what Sirius did is heinous. If I were his friends, I would take a long, long time to forgive him.
The second major canon event you talked about was when Snape called Lily a Mudblood. Writing it from the perspective of the two quieter Marauders was a stroke of genius, and you tied their thoughts into the rest of the story as well. (I don't quite much like Snape, so every time I see this scene, I just sort of think, "You did this to yourself, buddy. Suck it up and deal with the consequences instead of whining," haha.) I really liked reading this from such a different point of view.
Peter's jealousy at the end was... I'm not sure how I feel about that. In my opinion, jealousy is one of the biggest things you can judge someone on. Obviously, jealousy is a normal part of life, but whether you let the jealousy take control of your life is another matter. Like, Peter is at the party with someone, and he's still mad enough at Remus for being with Dorcas that he actually goes and confronts him about it? I just don't understand Peter here. I wish he wouldn't have done that, because it's just not the right thing to do. However, this sort of action does fit in rather neatly with the rest of his character as we know it from the books.
Wonderful chapter, as always, Chiara! <3
Finally replying to your last review (which means I'll have to request for more... :P)
Yeah, things are getting dramatic, and I'm afraid it will only spiral down and get darker and darker from there... :( That's exactly what the title refers to, since the lies and secrets and unsaid things between the two boys are what ultimately ruin their relationship and lead to the more tragic events ahead. But I guess I'm running too far... :P
Yes, James' breakdown here is right after he received the news of Aaron's death. As for Sirius' betrayal... I agree with you that what he did was horrible and that he didn't deserve to be forgiven so quickly (and he probably wouldn't have if James didn't need his friends so badly in that moment...) As bad as Snape might have been, he didn't deserve to be killed by a werewolf, not to consider the consequences for Remus if he actually killed him...
The Mudblood incident... I'm glad you liked to see the episode from an unusual perspective. I'm not the biggest fan of Snape either, honestly, but I do feel bad for his childhood and for the way he was constantly bullied by the Marauders, even if he probably deserved it most of the time... in any case, the way his friendship with Lily ended is only his fault and this episode was just the straw that broke the camel, so yeah (sorry, I think I've rambled uselessly and I'm not sure myself what was my point... I guess I didn't have one... anyway, I'm glad you liked that scene.)
Peter isn't very good at dealing with jealousy. He's vindictive and egoist and quick to anger. And his relationship with Leander... well, I think Peter did care about him to an extent, but that he was always sort of a rebound for him. Which doesn't honor Peter at all, obviously, but that's just how he is. And we know that he isn't a completely good person...
Thank you so much for all these lovely reviews! You are the best and your feedback always makes me smile!
Big snowball hug rolling your way!
Okay so one of the most unique things about this story is definitely the main pairing that you've written into the story. When I was first met with Peter/Remus in Jimmy, I was really pleasantly surprised, because no one usually thinks of this ship when they think of the Marauders. Normally it's Wolfstar, or James/Sirius, but never Peter/Remus. So I really like the direction that you've taken the relationships in (how did you ever come up with this? it's so unique <3), and the way Remus struggles with his emotions here.
A lot of things happened this chapter! I thought it was especially cute how you remembered to include the actual making of the Marauder's Map. You always remember these little details from the books that sort of fill up the rest of your story with little plot points to flesh it out further.
The part that stood out to me most was the scene where Mary Macdonald was being tortured by the Pureblood Slytherins. It's a fairly pivotal scene in the novels; Lily references it when scolding Snape for the decisions he made in friendship, and even though we don't actually get to see the scene, we know that something really bad happened to her. And after seeing the effects of the curses on Mary, Sirius confronted his brother, which I think was a really important scene. I feel that Regulus, in the books, disobeyed Voldemort due partially to his loyalty to Sirius, and I think this scene of Sirius scolding his brother here planted that seed of guilt and doubt.
And Remus's struggles with his sexuality in this chapter...poor boy. Liking a girl and a boy at the same time must be confusing for him, since he's never really liked anyone before, and all of a sudden he's feeling so many different things that it must be overwhelming. I really loved the focus on Remus this chapter, it really gave an interesting insight into what he was like.
Wonderful chapter, Chiara! <3
I'm not sure how I came up with it, it just sort of happened... (that's my answer to pretty much anything, isn't it? :P) Anyway, I do love my boys, and I'm so glad you like the pairing. :)
I wanted to make sure to include all the main Marauder canon events in this story, and the Map surely is one. I'm glad you liked the reference to its making. :)
I'm glad you "liked" the scene of Mary being attacked by the Slytherins. I agree that it is quite an important event for the Marauders' backstory. And I'm also glad you liked the confrontation between Sirius and Regulus. I've always thought that the two brothers were close, at least before starting Hogwarts, and that even after that Regulus had always looked up to his brother and wished for his approval. And yes, I agree that Sirius helped planting the seed of guilt and doubt here (if it wasn't there already...)
Poor Remus, figuring out these things is always so hard, isn't it? Especially for him, who is so full of doubts because of lycanthropy already... I'm glad you liked the focus on his feelings here.
Thank you for another great review!
Their Hogwarts years! This is too sweet omg.
I loved the easy development between Remus and the other boys, and how after they all became friends, James and Sirius immediately began trying to figure out why Remus kept disappearing like that. It was really quite smart of Sirius to figure it out, honestly; the other two boys didn't even imagine it as a remote possibility, which is probably why they didn't think of it. I'm glad that things are making more sense for Peter now, based on the way Remus treated him when they were younger, and the way Remus was bullied by the other kids in their neighborhood.
Regarding Peter's immediate reaction to discovering that Remus was a werewolf, I thought that was interesting. It definitely reminded me of the Peter that grew older to betray his friends. There was a slight lapse in his moral judgment; he immediately began seeing Remus a little differently, and if it weren't for James and Sirius, I'm sure it would have taken Peter much, much longer to realize that being a werewolf did not affect how Remus was as a person. I think this is important because it shows how Peter is easily swayed to believe such things, and that his moral backbone is not as strong as the others'. In the end, however, he did put aside these feelings and work to help his friend. You write Peter so believably, honestly, it's so impressive.
I loved the way you wrote the banter between the four kids, with James and Sirius being absolutely ridiculous (especially about the "90% sure" part), and with Remus being Remus ("it's the other 10% I'm worried about" lol). The kids are having fun despite the stressful situation that they're in, and this helped me appreciate all the more what they did for Remus. The bit at the end especially. Seeing Remus feel more comfortable with himself as a wolf just made me feel really happy. <3
I really loved this chapter, Chiara!
I'm so glad you found this chapter sweet! :)
I'm glad you liked how they all became friends and how James, Sirius and Peter figured out Remus' lycanthropy. That's how I thought it, Peter never figured it out before because he couldn't even imagine it possible. It is good for him that things are starting to make sense now.
And yes, Peter has his prejudice issues. I actually am not sure how he would react without James' and Sirius' influence... I think he would have accepted Remus for what he was in the end, because after all they did grow up together and he did consider him his best friend. But I agree with you that it would probably require more time. In any case, Peter has his flaws and I'm glad you could see it, but he does choose to be loyal to his friend for now.
I've always loved the Marauders because they represent such a strong friendship and loyalty. And because they are so humorous, too. I'm glad you liked their banter and that you found them in character. And also, I'm glad that you could appreciate what they did for Remus and that it made you happy. :)
Thank you so much for another lovely review!
I'm here with another review for you!
I forgot to mention this in my last review, but your headcanon of Peter's mother being called Mary Yaxley is so creative and unique. It really gives him a tie into the Pureblooded bigoted family of the Yaxleys, and perhaps is a reason why he ends up joining Voldemort in the end. His cousin Alistair sounds like he's beginning to dabble a little bit in the Dark Arts, and with an influence like that around, Peter may begin feeling drawn towards the dark side, as well. I can understand why Peter's mother never told him anything about her siblings (though I wonder if there's more of a backstory there that we'll find out about?) considering how utterly creepy Alistair is right now.
The fact that Peter plays chess reminds me a lot of Ron! Consistently underestimated in terms of intelligence, while being crazy good at these little strategy games. (And is this chess set the same one from Jimmy, the one that gives Peter's real identity away? Because if it is, THAT'S SO COOL OMG.) I love the characterization that you've given Peter here. Obviously, he's not the most well-loved character in the novels, but you've given him a very realistic backstory in this fic.
Eleven-year-old Peter is absolutely adorable, by the way. I love reading about him so much, and his complete and utter confusion about where Remus goes during the full moons. Peter and Remus aren't yet friends with James and Sirius, so I'm very curious to see how you connect them all later on in this story!
I love this, Chiara. <3
Welcome back again! :)
I'm happy you like Peter's link to the Yaxleys. It was actually by chance (like half the things I do...), I just wanted to give Peter's mother a pureblood surname... then I realized that having Peter related to Death Eaters could be interesting for his character development, and there you go... :P There is more of a backstory for Mary not mentioning her brother to Peter, bits of it should come up in later chapters.
The parallel with Ron is interesting and, I think, quite fitting. And I do believe that Peter is smarter than his friends think and than people tend to portray him. (No, this is not the chess set that gives Peter away in Jimmy... The Chess Set appears in the next chapter, though, but I'm sure you know already.)
I'm glad you like eleven-year-old Peter and his relationship with Remus. As for their friendship with James and Sirius, it will come soon, but you know that already as well. ;)
Thank you again, hon!
CHIARA THIS STORY OMG, MY HEART <3
I love reading stories about the childhoods of the Marauders, and since Peter is certainly one of the most neglected Marauders being written about in detail in fanfiction, seeing him here, as a little kid, was just so heartwarming. My heart basically went "AWWWWWWW" in the middle of my class while I was reading this, haha. (Perhaps I should be paying attention, but I really wanted to get to this story.)
LIKE, I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE WAY THAT LITTLE PETER FELL AND SCRAPED HIS KNEE. AND THE WAY HIS EXASPERATED MOTHER HEALED HIM, AND HOW HE IMMEDIATELY GOT UP AND STARTED RUNNING AGAIN. I MEAN, ISN'T THAT THE CUTEST THING YOU'VE EVER READ IN YOUR LIFE. (Except you wrote it, which makes it even better. Like this was the cutest introduction to a story I've ever read omg.)
My heart broke when Peter was kept out of the dark about Remus's condition, and for feeling hurt each and every time Remus snapped at him. The two boys had such a promising, adorable, innocent friendship with each other, that when Peter was just confused as to what was going on, I was feeling really, really sad. I loved how you described the fears of Remus as he entered the garage alone, with his parents locking him in to keep everyone else safe. Remus lived such a difficult childhood, my heart feels for him. <3
I wonder how Peter managed to go all this time without realizing what Remus was going through, when all the other kids seemed to figure it out rather quickly. I wish that Peter had been able to know, because then he could've given Remus more support as well as better understood why Remus had to leave.
AND NOW THEY'RE GOING TO HOGWARTS AND WILL BE MEETING EACH OTHER AGAIN OMG AFTER SO LONG.
Wonderful first chapter!!
Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews, I always love getting them, they make me smile so widely! :)
I bet you know by now, I love writing children... especially when the children are my favourite four troublemakers... :P And yes, Peter is definitely the most neglected Marauder... I'm glad you enjoyed seeing him as a little child here... (btw, yes, you should pay attention in class, but I'm not going to complain if it means you are reading this... :P)
Ahahah! I'm so glad you enjoyed that scene and found it cute. :)
Poor Peter, not understanding why his friend is pushing him away... and poor Remus, having to deal with lycanthropy when he is too young to even understand it properly... it is very sad for the both of them... :(
Yes, they are going to be reunited at Hogwarts soon. :) So happy to see you so excited! :P
Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Hey there, Chiara! Dropping by for our review swap! :)
You have such a gift for skipping time without the story feeling incoherent or jumpy, you know, as though it's just made of bits which have been pushed together without any real connection between the pieces. It's so hard to do well (at least, haha, I think it is, which may say more about me than you), but you do it so easily, and especially in this chapter - skipping time from the summer holidays to the beginning of seventh year to the end and the leaving ceremony for the Marauders.
And I loved the bits you chose to show: how you gave us another insight into the discrimination and intolerance Remus faces, with the red band he's meant to wear (and I loved the note that Dumbledore would never make him wear it - it was a little thing, but it created that divide between the Ministry and Dumbledore we see in Harry's time, yk?), and Tom firing him because he 'makes other customers nervous'. It really reminded me of racism back in the 40s and 50s - how similar ideas were around then about people of colour, especially men of colour. I don't know if that was your inspiration or the connection was intentional, but I loved it. Poor Remus, though - it's horrible for him to experience, and I thought you showed him dealing with it, the disappointment and the gloom so in-character.
Peter... it's starting to get harder for me to sympathise with Peter where his relationship with Remus is concerned, tbh. I mean, I know Remus kinda drove him away, but Peter had Leander, and he laughs it all off in this one like 'oh it was just a fling' and glares at Remus holding hands with Dorcas, wants to kiss him, but never says anything. It's sad for him, and I get why he'd be reluctant, but equally, he hasn't been perfect to Remus either. Ahhhh silly boys, if only they'd talk properly! :P
I loved the Lily and James set up - how you showed James deflating his head, helping out that Thomas kid (who had such a great cameo, bahaha, poor guy :P) and seeming so concerned when he was told that everyone had expected him to make fun of Thomas. It was so true, though - bullies don't always realise that that's what they are and what they're doing. It was nice to see him grow up, though, and to see him becoming more thoughtful - learning from Remus :P
Also I loved the conversation about the war, how it was the sort of conversation which is too serious, really, for 17-year-olds and how they joined the Order - how Peter was so reluctant to at first, but with everyone looking at him and waiting, he buckled under the pressure. It's such a realistic thing to have happened to him and makes so much sense for his character in canon.
As always, darling, your writing was lovely. I'm looking forward to (hopefully!) coming back soon! :)
Thank you for the swap and for this lovely review! :)
Aww, thanks... Actually, I think it's just the way my mind works, in sections and fragments... I'm glad it felt cohesive enough, though, and that the time skipping didn't make the story too jumpy. It's good to know, because it's something I'm not sure I always manage so well...
Poor Remus... he has to face a lot of intolerance and discrimination... and yes, I guess there is that small fracture between Dumbledore and the Ministry. Actually, I was thinking about the racial laws during nazi-fascism, but I guess the mechanisms of racism are always more or less the same. Anyway, I'm glad you liked my representation of it, and that Remus' feelings and reactions seemed true and in character.
Peter is far from perfect. He's egoist and he's immature, but that's just who he is, unfortunately... yes, it would be all much simpler if they just talked properly...
Bullies don't always realise that that's what they are and what they're doing That's how I've always pictured James. He does bully other students, but without really meaning to do so or to hurt them, he just doesn't realise where the line between a funny joke and being mean to people is drawn. But he's learning and growing up. ;)
I'm glad you liked the conversation about the war and the boys and girls joining the Order, too. I'm glad you liked how I wrote Peter in that situation, I've always thought that he would be reluctant to join, but that he would do so to look good in his friends' eyes. I'm glad you think it makes sense for his character.
Thank you so much for your lovely review! Hope to see you back again soon! :)
Lots of love,
Sorry I'm late. To make up for it I've read the entire story, and promised to do no other swaps or fourm activities until I got this up! Surprise! :D
Anyway. Anyone who reviews this and checks for the chapter has already, I would assume, read the entire things, so I guess no need for spoiler warnings? If we do another swap I can go back and leave a more in depth thing for each chapter since this will just touch on certain things and this last chapter in particular, since it is a review on that chapter.
First of all, I don't think I've ever seen a fanfic that's pared Peter and Remus before. So this was interesting, especially since you had them know each other before Hogwarts.
I like how you show Peter's Slytherin traits, and how you didn't make him an overall bad person. I think the fandom often forgets that he was, in fact, their friend and not just a tag along. Remus never would have let him know about being a werewolf otherwise, and he was smart enough to become an animagus with his friends. Erasing that makes his betrayal a lot less important and impactful.
I will say that I did spot a lot of typos and grammar errors throughout the chapter, so if you ever edit in the future, maybe you can get someone to help you out in that area? Things such as not breaking the dialog from one character to another, and spelling mistakes were fairly common.
I also like how they weren't all best friends right from the start. Sirius and James both have flaws that would put off Remus, who'd dealt with bullying himself. It's something I think is more realistic for being a more gradual thing. Everyone judges to some extent based on first impressions.
One other thing I will say that could be worked on is that sometimes the anger they felt seemed a bit abrupt, if that makes sense? Not out of place due to circumstances, but just the way they're done. It might be because you tend to have more dialogue, which limits the amount of "tells" they show, and tends to cut straight to things instead of having it build up gradually from exposition.
Okay. So that's a (very) brief overview of some of the things I liked about the characters and some of the things that could be improved on in the fic.
For the last chapter, I thought this was a pretty interesting way for Peter to go. I am left wondering why Voldemort didn't take the Potter's and just left them there, even though Harry was gone. It might have made a bit more sense if he'd taken them and hid them somewhere else first. I also wondered if Remus ever told his friends about the note, since it did tell him to let James and Lily know Harry was safe, but Sirius didn't seem to know about the circumstances from how he was talking.
I am curious to see how Neville grows up seeing he's now the chosen one in Harry's place, and how Harry has grown up with Peter and what will happen once he's old enough to go to school. If you ever write a sequel let me know. It's an interesting idea for a AU, and your version of Peter really has me interested.
Anyway. I wish I could write more, but I'm a bit sleep deprived right now and I want to finish so I can go ahead and get this to you. Sorry again for the wait. Really. XD
Hi, Kat! No need to apologize... I'm late with the reply so we are even, I guess...
Also, thank you for reading the whole story, it was a nice thought. :)
Technically, you reviewed the second-to-last chapter, but I don't think spoilers are really a problem anyway... and if they are, well, what's done is done...
I'm glad you enjoyed them as a pairing. Yes, I know that it's pretty unusual, and I hadn't really ever considered it possible before I had the idea for this (btw, you were asking about a sequel... this story is actually a prequel to my WIP All the truth about Jimmy Portman. They are very different stylistically and I think Jimmy is a bit less mature writing, but if you wanted to check it out...)
I'm also glad you liked Peter's characterization and his Slytherin traits, and how he is more of a grey character than how he's often portrayed. I agree with you, if the Marauders accepted him in their group he must have had some positive traits.
I have spotted a few mistakes myself and I guess there might be others that I haven't noticed. English is not my mother tongue, so spelling mistakes happen to me at times... I probably won't come back and edit anytime soon, but if I ever decide to I'll try to put attention to it.
My headcanon has always been that Remus would be wary of James and Sirius at first and I'm glad you could see that too. After all, James and Sirius have a tendency of being a bit overbearing and Remus does know how it feels to be bullied...
I know what you mean... I think it's a limit of the structure I imposed myself, of the seven sections per chapter. I had to fit long time periods in a short space and sometimes I jumped directly to the consequence of some events without first saying exactly what happened (I'm thinking about Aaron's death, for instance. I actually had a half plan to write a parallel one-shot focusing on that). And well, yes, I'm more of a dialogue person than a description one, and I guess that could have influenced too...
Okay, yes, maybe it doesn't all make perfect sense... the way how I imagined it, Voldemort learnt about Peter's betrayal before he tried to go after the Potters, which is why he left them alone, his priority had become the Longbottoms at that point. As for the letter, I think Remus did tell James and Lily about it, maybe without going into too much detail, but he wouldn't have told Sirius, since they weren't exactly on speaking terms at the time. And I think Sirius did know the reasons behind Peter's gesture (maybe because James told him) but he still couldn't forgive Peter for being the spy or for kidnapping Harry (whichever good reasons he might have had).
As I said, there is a sequel (or better, this is a prequel) so if you want you can check it out... :P
Thank you again for the detailed and thoughtful review and for taking the time to read the entire story and for swapping in the first place. And don't worry about the lateness, you got here in the end and that's what counts.
Hey, Chiara! Here for our swap :)
So I'm definitely going to admit that this is a pairing that I never would have come up with in my wildest dreams, but I'm super psyched to read your take on it. I've heard nothing but amazing things about this story and I'm super excited to have an excuse to finally get to it!
So I admit that I am not a always the biggest fan of Peter but I love that you started with him as a kid so we really get to see him grow up. I like what we get to see his mother and how she reacts to him, especially with the added detail of his dad being gone.
I really love everything that you've set up with Remus here. For as much as I love him, I never really thought about how kids his own age would react to finding out about the whole werewolf thing. It was heartbreaking, especially when he had to move away and leave behind someone who would end up being one of his biggest allies in a few years.
I never really considered the fact that Remus and Peter could be friends before Hogwarts, but you really set up their future friendship nicely here. I'm super curious to learn more about their friendship as it grows and changes throughout their Hogwarts years.
I'm so excited that I finally got an excuse to start this story! I will definitely be back soon to read more :) Thanks for doing the swap!
Hi, Claire! Thank you so much for swapping! :)
I'm so happy you decided to stop by this story, it's probably the one I'm most proud of and I'm always happy to hear people's thoughts about it. :)
I know, Peter is not the most loved character (guess it has something to do with him betraying the Potters?) but I do have a soft spot for him... I think it's really fascinating to explore his character and his motivations and I'm glad you liked to see him in his child days. My headcanon has always been that Peter's father died when he was very little and that his mother (partly as a result of that) was very overprotective of him, which made Peter a bit unsecure. I'm glad you liked their interactions.
And I'm glad you loved Remus, too. I've always felt so bad thinking about the pain he must have suffered because of lycanthrophy since he was only a little kid, and I can totally imagine him being bullied by other kids his age because of it, too. And yes, it is heartbreaking that he had to leave Peter, but at least we know that they'll get back into their friendship at Hogwarts.
I never really thought of them being friends before Hogwarts either (or being in a romantic relationship, for all that matter...) This story just sort of happened, honestly, but I do love how everything turned out in the end.
I'm so glad you decided to stop by here, I really hope I'll get to hear your thoughts about what happens next as well. :)
Thank you so much again for swapping and for leaving this lovely review!
Hi, Chiara. Thank you for leaving a review during House Cup activity last year.
This chapter has a lot of important events going all together. I really enjoyed it.
1. Two main characters were forced to face the reality:
A severe fact, a new law, all werewolves had to have a check up twice a year is so cruel for Remus who had been protected by Dumbledore and his friends.
It was comfort at least that his father sent a letter about the new law and Remus could be ready for what was coming. You expressioned his broken heart, his dignity shattered apart splendidly, Chiara!
I got relieved to find his friends gather at the Ministry to claim what the officers did was wrong for Remus.
Peter had enjoyed and suffered from young love at Hogwarts and then all those love affairs turned to the past golden time, for he was forced to fight against the undesired invitation to join the Death Eaters. It's very intriguing, 'cause we all know he is destined to betray his friends later. I expect you will depict his inner struggle against his destiny more later.
2 It is quite interesting to feel how Christmas dinner was like at Grimmauld Place at that time. I got thrilled when you let Bella enter in this chapter. I like the plot you described about Regulus. It's quite understandable he didn't want his brother to run away from home. I guess Regulus was on the same boat as Peter. It's quite plausible that Regulus tried revealing the Dark Lord's secret after he was forced to enroll in Vol's inner circle. At least, Sirius tried to run away with his brother once, which is very impressive.
3 I think this chapter is the most thrilling one you've written so far. The descriptions about the scene with various werewolves waiting and how Peter betrayed his friends breaking the secret around the Whomping Willow are marvelous. We can feel both Slytheriness and Gryffindorness in Peter here.
Kenny! This was such a lovely surprise, thank you for stopping by! :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter and all the events going on, they are growing up and the world around them is getting darker so things were bound to change...
Poor Remus, not only he has to deal with his condition, but also with all the prejudice and discrimination that comes with it. The new law was terribly cruel to him and everyone in his situation. :( I'm glad you thought I wrote his pain effectively. And yes, his friends are wonderful. :)
As for Peter, he has now to deal with more serious stuff than teenage heart problems... he has found the courage to turn his uncle and cousin down for now, but there's still a lot he will have to face later on...
I'm glad you liked the scene of Christmas dinner at Grimmauld Place. I've always thought that Sirius and Regulus were close, even if they couldn't really understand each other. I've also always thought that all Regulus wanted was his family's approval and that he didn't truly realize how evil Voldemort truly was until he got actually involved with the Death Eaters. I really wish he did run away with Sirius, but it was something he would never do, because he would see it as a betrayal of his family.
I'm so glad you liked the scene of the werewolves in the waiting room and also the two sides of Peter's character. Thank you so much for your review. :)
Remus' contemplations on his sexual orientation are all driven by that wonderful feeling of loving Peter (though, he doesn't quite recognize the feeling yet). I love that he goes to his dad for some advice and his father immediately thinks it's a girl. I love the reasoning behind if Remus' parent can handle that he's gay, they can handle that he's a werewolf. I also thought it was quite funny that once Remus established that it was a boy he was interested, John immediately hopped to the conclusion of James or Sirius, nevermind poor Peter! The unresolved mention of Greyback makes me feel like that issue's going to rise again in the near future. The scene between Sirius and his brother was pretty heavy, too. There's already a rift created, of course, but things are continuously becoming more separate as we're starting to move along in years. I believe that Peter's concern over Remus dating Dorcas (even though he's not) is paved with the very best of intentions--and perhaps the slightest hint of jealousy. Hooray, a kiss, but, oh no! Peter is completely misinterpreting Remus' reaction! And of course, poor Remus is a whole mess of confusion at the moment, caught between fancying Peter AND Dorcas AND being a teenage boy with teenage boy hormones AND being a werewolf. Life is tough for a Remus. I'm so happy with the way this chapter resolved though! It was completely adorable (hehe, 'Who's Dorcas?')!
Another wonderful chapter! Favorite line: " "You are as dangerous as my pillow."
Rumpels!!! So happy to see you back here, sweety! :)
I'm glad you liked Remus' thoughts in the beginning and his confrontation with his father. It is a bit surprising for John at first, but of course he would be accepting and supporting. And yes, poor Peter, never taken into consideration...
Glad you "liked" the scene between Sirius and Regulus. They still love each other, even if their views are pulling them apart more and more.
Peter's concerns about Remus and Dorcas are COMPLETELY selfless (being ironic here...) Yeah, poor Peter is totally misinterpreting Remus' reaction... and poor Remus, dealing with all those confusing emotions... definitely not easy to be a Remus... :P But I'm glad you found the end of the chapter adorable! :)
Thank you so much for the lovely review, it made me so happy! :)
Hey Chiara! I'm here for our review swap! :) Sorry it was so late - these last few days have been super busy! But I'm here now, so it's okay ;)
Honestly I think one of my favourite things about this is the way you write Peter. It's incredible - the way he's so 3D and so interesting, with his half-blood background: his Death Eater uncle and cousin, the way he's sort of like Sirius, left out of his family (extended or otherwise) and being pushed to do something he doesn't want to do. Though I loved how he stood up to them - fear is so paralysing, and I loved your description of it: all those things he wanted to do, to protect his mum and to fight them. It's not often that you see a story which actually portrays Peter as anything like a Gryffindor, tbh, so it was lovely to see him getting his moment of courage :)
Poor Remus... the whole thing with his dad being fired from the Ministry, not even allowed to set foot in the department, and then the Ministry instituting bi-annual checks on werewolves.. it's so horrible, but so realistic, yk? Like, it's the kind of measure you could see happening, being put in place because 'it's about safety'. And the whole way the werewolves were all so poor and scruffy, and the Ministry workers were sleek and elegant was such a great contrast. Remus' statement when he said he hoped he wouldn't end up like the werewolves was honestly heartbreaking. Poor guy.
I'm so curious as to what happens next - Remus and Dorcas; will they ever actually get together? She seems super sweet, like she'd be good for him, so as much as I love him and Peter, I do kinda want him to get with Dorcas too :P And Peter... I really want to know what happens to him - do his uncle and cousin come back? Is that how he becomes a Death Eater, they force him into it? What happens to his mum? (I have a horrible feeling she's going to die horribly...)
As always, your writing is so lovely. I always forget English is your second language when you write because you have this really natural fow and such a lovely style.
Thank you so much for the swap - sorry this was so late!
Hi, Laura! Welcome back! No worries for the wait, I'm late with my answer so we are even! ;)
It's always great when people like my Peter. :) I'm glad you are finding his family background interesting, it is similar to Sirius' situation in a way. I'm so glad you liked the scene with the Yaxleys. Yes, fear can be paralysing and I'm glad you liked how I wrote their interactions. So glad you liked Peter showing some Gryffindor bravery, too.
Yes, poor Remus... I'm so glad you found it all realistic, even if it is awful. There's more to the werewolves' law, but you'll see in the next chapter. I'm also glad that you liked the description of the werewolves and that you could feel for Remus in that scene, even if it was so sad...
Oh, yes, Remus and Dorcas... I'm afraid you will have to read on to find out, I don't want to spoil it for you... :P Same goes for Peter and his Death Eater relatives... but I think I can tell you that Peter's mum will be fine.
Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you like my writing! Especially coming from you, it's such a huge compliment!
Thank you so much for the lovely review! Let's swap again sometime!
Hi, Chiara. Thank you for this review swap. After the things for these months, we tried to search a better place to post our stories or talk about fanfictions and sometimes were forced to face the severe reality outside of the home welcoming community like hpft. When I faced the one, I think the other authors had already experienced the similar things, I felt hpft was really a home. So I really feel thankful for your kind offer.
What a coincidence, I just listened to “Reynardine” a traditional old English ballad about a “Werefox”. You continue writing about Remus, a half human-being and a half wolf, monster which he had been suffered from, which is really great. At the same time I feel you’ve struggled with describing him, his agony, how you should express his inner pain for himself.
The most impressive part is the last scene when James and Sirius bullied Severus. I don’t think anyone has ever tried writing Peter’s mind movement while their bullying Snape. And his feeling for Remus, is very original, I found a new Peter thanks to your story.
Two things are not clear. You might be able to describe more about the episode before you start the scene, they bullied Snape. It was a little hard for me to follow what you tried to tell the readers from their conversations and the thoughts. With adding more detailed descriptions of them might help us to understand the scenes: the moment James was nearly expelled (for what he had done?) and the moment Remus was in the hospital wing (though we know he is a werewolf and has been suffering from Lycanthropy, one more description, how he had managed to overcome it or some horrible visual image descriptions about his memory might be helpful?) I think you tried writing how desperate Remus was for Peter who he thought he didn’t deserve loving Peter. I know how hard you tried. If I were to write it, I can’t.
On the contrary, I could understand and imagine the scene, how the other Marauders bantered James for his feeling towards Lily. The dialogues are well written and I think most of the readers will like the scene. :D I really like the first lake scene, girls’ talk. And the last scene how Remus reprimanded the other Marauders. So cool!
Oh, you're welcome. Actually, it was pretty selfish, because I love to get some feedback, so I always love to do swaps. :P Also, I'm sorry for whatever happened outside of HPFT, hope you are okay.
I don't know the ballad, should check it out... :P Poor Remus is in a really difficult place right now, dealing with the guilt of almost killing someone.
I'm so glad you liked that scene through Peter's eyes. I did like that scene quite a lot. :P And I'm glad that you like their feelings for each other, I love my boys...
James' scene wasn't very clear, I agree. I actually had another scene that I wanted to include before this one and that would explain what was going on better, but it wouldn't fit in my seven-scenes-per-chapter rule (lame excuse, yeah, I know). I guess I could have expanded it a bit better, explain the content of the letter and what James had done. Basically, James received a letter from home in which his father told him that his cousin had died. The news left him very depressed and angered and when he crossed Snape later he lashed that anger on him and beated him hard (after being provoked, of course). I refer to all this again in a couple of chapters, but I should definitely have explained it more clearly here. I will try to expand that scene a bit if I ever come back and edit.
As for the scene of Remus in the hospital wing, it is set after what I call "the Willow incident", when Sirius told Snape how to get in the tunnel and Snape was almost killed. I thought it would be clear which episode I was referring to and in that scene I wanted to focus primarily on Remus' guilt and how he feels he's a danger for the people he loves (namely, Peter). My interpretation is that he doesn't have clear memories of what happened, he just knows what they told him, so he can't really revive it or anything, just blame himself for almost killing another human being. Does it make sense?
I'm happy you liked the more light-hearted scenes in the beginning, the Marauder bantering James over Lily and the girls' talk. And Remus reprimanding his friends after bullying Snape. We never got to see the end of that scene and Remus intervening and making a scene is my favourite headcanon. :P
Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
I'm here for our swap!
Aw, it's completely understandable why Remus wouldn't want even Peter to know about his condition! There was always the chance that he could have hated Remus because of it and, understandably, Remus doesn't want to lose a friend or have the school find out about it (which could then jeopardize his schooling.
It must be a heavy burden to bear on his own (though he's somewhat used to it by now), but the secret-keeping still must be rough.... Especially since Peter knows that he's lying and can't figure out why and is so completely ready to help. I also love how Remus is so wary of James and Sirius in the beginning...like they shouldn't be trusted and are sources of great trouble (well, they are trouble :p).
And I love how an argument leads to the beginnings of friendship as Remus silences his inner wolf. Makes sense that Remus would initially be put off by their general marauding and whathaveyou as well as the fear of being hurt again. Poor Peter had no idea what to do!
Yeah, I would expect that the three of them together could get the Remus-mystery solved pretty quickly once they all got down to work on it. As all the pieces slip into place, I love that they aren't quite sure what to do with the information. Grilling Remus until he confesses will me interesting, to say the least. It's awesome that, although they all know that a transformed werewolf is highly dangerous that none of them are forwardly seeing Remus as dangerous in his non-transformed state.
Aw, poor Remus! <3 Luckily the three of the boys are amazing and love Remus, anyway and I found it hysterical that James had to yell at Sirius to join the group hug :P. I also found it extremely funny that Lily was SO confused.
Peter, Sirius, and James outright not listening to Remus to make Remus' transformations easier on him must have been extremely frustrating while a bit touching at the same time. Those boys are proving to Remus that they're there with him through thin and through thick (even when the thick is a werewolf).
This birthday is so much better than the birthday when Remus had to leave! That's a completely wonderful and heartwarming gift, finding his late father's chess set that had been sold. I love the pranks! The speaking in rhyme and the rain ;P so much fun. I also love the origins of the name 'Marauders' .
Ahhh, the first transformation together. (And a hint of hand-touching-feelings to boot!) 'The wolf could be happy.' It's fantastic. I love how you've separated the two identities completely, by the way, between the wolf and Remus (like a tug-of-war of consciousnesses).
Wonderful job, as per usual! Sorry this took me so long to write :/ I'm all over the place today, apparently!
Okay, I'm answering this last one and then I'll head to bed (it's already midnight here...)
Yeah, poor Remus has had pretty poor experiences with people finding out about his condition, so he obviously would be scared to open up to Peter... and keeping the secret is really hard on him... and poor Peter too, not knowing what's going on...
Ahahah! James and Sirius are definitely trouble, but they aren't half as bad as Remus imagine them to be. I'm so glad you enjoyed the argument that led to the birth of their friendship. :)
The three of them together would solve the mistery pretty quickly. Ahahah! Yes, they don't really know what to do with the knowledge... I'm happy you found their idea of grilling Remus interesting, although poor kid... and yes, they wouldn't consider Remus dangerous. That's what makes them such wonderful friends, isn't it?
I'm so happy you enjoyed that scene, with James shouting at Sirius to join the hug and Lily's confusion. I do have fun with this bunch... :P
Ahahah! Poor Remus can't win an argument with them. :P As I said, they are wonderful friends, they would do anything to make his transformations more bearable.
Glad you liked the chess set, it is a very thoughtful present... and yay for the prank! I had so much fun thinking up those rhymes! :)
And yes, the first transformation... and a little hint of romantic feelings as well... *whistles* I'm so glad you liked the scene, as well as my interpretation of Remus and the wolf.
Thank you so much for another absolutely amazing review!!!
*peeks in* Just wanted to see what happens next!
:/ Why do I get a terrible feeling that Yaxley is going to be giving Peter a difficult time? I feel badly for Peter--going to a new school completely alone with nobody he really knows must be terrifying, not even considering the estranged family that are creepily coming out of the woodwork :P. I caught the name Yaxley in the last chapter as Peter's Mom's maiden name but I let it slide right by me that Peter's heritage could somehow affect his time at Hogwarts -- silly Rumpel.
The aftermath of what happened between Snape and James and Sirius coming before Remus even enters the room would probably leave me wary of the duo within as well!
Oh yes, Peter's hatstall. I was wondering how that conversation might've gone. I love how you've tied it into your fanon, where Peter wants to be in the same house as Remus. And, hooray! Peter finally sees Remus again! I'm so looking forward to their reunion! Oh and the way the Sorting Hat says, "He already did." Oh-my-goodness. That broke my heart a little and it is SO SWEET that Peter is determined that he won't again!
*hides* That wasn't exactly what I was expecting for a reunion, but it makes sense given the past transgressions. Everything will make more sense to Peter after he learns about Remus' condition, I'm sure (I mean, at least I assume, but you know what assuming does :P). But I'm so glad that they agree to be friends again!
Peter's observation skills are quite usefully and most probably the reason that Peter's animagus form was of a rat. When you think of it, rats can be exceptionally handy. (I'm actually quite the fan of rats, I've owned them mostly my whole life up until about four years ago. The last pair that passed away was too much for me. :() Anyway. Also, entirely explains how the Marauders were able to discover Remus' condition by the second year. I have no doubt that Peter will be the first to notice, especially given their past.
I also love how Peter is the first one to approach James and Sirius. I think you're doing an amazing job with bringing some light to Peter's character in this... Afterall, he had to have much more depth than what canon would lead us to believe.
Amazing job, once again!
Hi again, dear! ;)
It was such a lovely surprise to find this other review from you! Thank you so much for stopping by again! *hug*
Oh, Yaxley will give Peter a difficult time... maybe not immediately, but he will have a role later on... (spoiler? Yes, probably...) Peter's first trip to Hogwarts definitely wasn't the best, the poor child...
James and Sirius are... well... James and Sirius. :P Remus is a bit wary of them right now, but it will change soon (as you already know ;) )
I'm happy you enjoyed Peter's sorting. He would want to end up in the same house as Remus, wouldn't he? (And for the record, I'm convinced he did have Gryffindor qualities, he was brave in his own way). Peter is still hurt by Remus' abandonment, but they will fix things between them. Their reunion wasn't smooth, but they are friends again. ;)
I've always imagined Peter as the kind of person who prefers to just stay in an angle and observe and listen, rather than to jump into the action. It makes sense with his personality, shy and unsecure, and also with the future role of spy we know he'll play. I must confess that I'm quite ignorant about rats, but I will trust you on this. Btw, losing pets is so hard, I still miss my Arturo (my cat) a lot... I'm sorry... :(
Ahahah! Yes, as I said, Peter has his share of Gryffindor bravery. :P Glad you liked him approaching James and Sirius first.
Thank you for the lovely review!
Hello, hello! I'm here for our swap (and I'm EXTREMELY excited that this is Peter x Remus -- what?! OMG I never even considered this as a ship before. Anyway, I decided to start with this as it is meant to act as a sort of prequel to Jimmy Portman, which I've been anticipating reading at some point.) Anyway, here we go!
Okay, so Peter as a child is too incredibly adorable! I adore that he completely disregards his mother's concern for his safety (as children do) while he's pretending that he's a phoenix! So cute! And the mother-son dynamic between Mary and Peter is heartwarming--Peter's really lucky to have such a caring mom.
And I love that Peter meets Remus so early on in this! I think that have a pre-established friendship to the first Hogwarts train ride is special, especially if this will be transforming into a to-be relationship in the future. And, of course, building a Hogwarts castle seem like something fun a wizarding child would do!
The boys' excitement to build a swing is cute; I'm loving the characterization thus far. Everything seems just as it should be and I appreciate the creation of a more substantial background for these two than what we were given canonically. They make perfect friends.
And then the following scenes break my heart to pieces! Between Remus' pre-transformation objection (and it must be so difficult on both him and his parents--he, not old enough to quite understand it and his parents not knowing any other means of handling it) and the bullying that follows the revelation of his lycanthropy, I was already so sad! I mean, I completely adore the way that Peter rushed to Remus' rescue, but then Remus pushes him away and it's so sad!
Furthermore, having to leave their blossoming friendship behind because his condition was revealed is even MORE heartbreaking :(. This is so SAD! And poor Peter is just left there confused and upset on his birthday because of it all (sitting sadly on the swing that he and Remus built (with a bit of help, of course), to boot) -- you're absolutely breaking my heart!
Oh my goodness, I'm so excited for their reunion on the Hogwarts Express! Heck, I'm so excited to see where you're going to take this story! :D You've done a wonderful job with this and I'm so glad to have had a chance to have started reading it! Hopefully I'll be able to get to the next chapter sooner rather than later!
Thanks so much for the swap and for writing this lovely opening chapter!
Rumpel! Hello, dear! Thank you so much for the swap (and sorry for the late reply...)
I'm glad that you decided to stop here and that you are planning to read Jimmy too at some point. And yes, it's a bit of a rare (read weird) pairing, I know... I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I do love them together now...
I'm so glad you liked Peter as a child and his relationship with his Mum as well. She is really sweet, if slightly overprotective, and he is definitely lucky to have her.
So glad you liked their early friendship, too. Yes, I guess it would be nice to get to Hogwarts already knowing someone. They will grow very close, but you already know that. ;) So glad you enjoyed the development of their friendship and also the bit of the swing.
I've always found so sad the idea that Remus had to deal with lycanthropy since so early in his life. I think it would be really hard, especially the first transformations, both for him who wouldn't really understand it all and for his parents who would feel so helpless... and of course dealing with the prejudice that came with that... :( Yes, poor Peter too, rejected when he tried to help.
It was really hard for Peter when his friend had to leave without explaination. Poor child, all alone on his birthday... sorry for breaking your heart, but I'm glad you could feel for him.
They will reunite (well, you've read on, so you already know). I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter, thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
Hey there, Chiara! Dropping by for our review swap! :) Hope you don't mind it's a little later than I intended - though, anyway, I'm here now! :)
I loved this chapter - honestly, your characterisation of the Marauders is amazing and probably the most original one I've ever seen. It's so awesome the way you do it - how they're all so in-depth and real. I love the way that Remus reacts so badly to Sirius' 'prank' in fifth year (honestly, the way you wrote the aftermath of it is so true to how I always imagined it) - how he's so hurt and so depressed, feeling that he's not good enough for his friends and boyfriends, and how he's so irrational, arguing with and snapping at his friends.
The way that Peter is so hurt by Remus' rejection after the wolf incident really speaks to me - it's so sad and so difficult for him. I just wanna hug the two of them, tbh - they're so cute and so troubled, and I love that about them. As frustrating as it is, it really speaks to me, you know, because it reminds me of people I know - not in those exact ways and issues, but the general idea :P
As always, your writing is so, so lovely - your details are incredible, so specific and so good. I love the way that you describe their emotions - Remus' self-hatred and self-deprecation, Peter's anger and irritation at Remus and James and Peter, James' sadness and collapsing. It's also in the little things, how you mention that no one at the party talks to Peter on his birthday apart from a handful of people, despite the fact that it's his party. Poor guy... but honestly, you write it all so beautifully.
I loved it, as always - though you should know that by now ;) Thank you so much for the swap! :)
Hi again, dear! :)
I'm so glad you keep loving my Marauders, I do love writing them so much and I'm so glad I can do them justice. I'm so glad you liked Remus' reaction at Sirius' "prank", the way he blames himself (as usual) and isolates himself.
And yes, poor Peter... he doesn't deserve to be pushed away like that, especially since he only wants to give Remus his support. I'm glad you can feel for them both. Well, not that this reminds you of true situations...
I'm so glad you like all the details and the way I write their emotions and all their different reactions at the events going on. Thank you so much, I really appreciate your feedback!
Hi, Chiara. Sorry for late review. Finally Typhoon has left and finished my work. This chapter is full of events. One is your original plot , rare pairing, Remus and Peter, the others, Marry was attacked and misunderstanding happened between Sirius and Regulus. And you added the conversation between Remus and his father, from which we can sense the political aspect. At the same time, Remus felt Fenrir Greyback’s shadow, which told us it was dark time they had to face.
It’s quite understandable Remus liked Dorcas, considering he married with Tonks later in his life. From Lupin's POV, Peter looked like an angel and comfort for him in your story. I wonder how you will develop their relationship from here and how you will keep writing Peter’s dark side. At least readers don't have to worry about their dark future for now in this chapter. We can just enjoy their caring each other.
It is also impressive we can feel the different kind of caring between Sirius and Regulus. They hate each other because they stand in the opposite side, and they worry about the situation each other. Wow, you described various scenes in this chapter.
Let’s do this review swap again.
Hi, Kenny! :)
Thank you for swapping and for the lovely review! :)
Yes, there is a lot going on in this. While this chapter is meant to be mostly focused on the development of Remus and Peter's relationship, I needed to start including a few political aspects as well. Their world is getting darker and it's starting to affect them, even if only slightly for now. The political theme, especially lycanthropy discrimination, will get always more central as the story develops.
Remus has deep feelings for the both of them, which will be very important for the development of the plot as well. You'll have to read on to see how things will move from here. But yes, for now they are just happy together. :)
Sirius and Regulus care for and love each other a lot, despite having completely opposite views. At least that's the way I like to imagine the two brothers. It's so sad that they can't quite trust and understand each other, and it's also so sad that Sirius never knew how and why his brother died... :(
I would love to swap again, it's always so nice! :)
Thank you for the lovely review,
Hey there, Chiara - dropping by for our review swap! :) I was so excited to see you say you were up for swaps, because it meant I could stop by this story again, which I keep meaning to get back to. But, yk, life is busy at the moment, which makes it hard to read and review as I'd like to :(
Anyway, I'm back! :) I meant to say last time, but I forgot - but I love how you jump between the different time periods. It's so clever and so good, and you manage to make it feel so seamless, even though a lot of time has passed between the different chapters. It's a real skill - it's really difficult to do right and well, and you've got it so perfectly.
I was so excited when I saw this chapter title, haha - it felt like it was about time after the last chapter, with the hints that they were both starting to feel more for each other, and I'm so glad that you didn't string it out too long - I'm not sure I would have coped with that :P The way you portray their teenage emotions, the first love and crushes and the confusion of it all - Remus wondering what exactly he's feeling, wondering whether he should do anything about it, etc. - is just so, so good, and so real. It's so true to the worries and anxieties about these things that people, and especially teenagers, have about this stuff. I loved the little details you included about the physical touch and Remus' daydreams about what it would be like to kiss Dorcas - they were lovely, as all your details are.
Poor Remus! I think I say that every chapter, haha, but it's true in most chapters! The idea that he doesn't think he deserves love is so unbelievably sad - poor, poor guy. But it does make sense with his character - it's so reminiscient of the mantra he repeats at Tonks in DH, how he's too old and too poor and too dangerous, and I liked that you linked it - and how self-deprecating and self-isolating he is. I'm glad he has people like his dad and Sirius to tell him he's being an idiot, though, and convince him that he does deserve love :P
You made me feel so sorry for Peter in this one - despite his semi-violent jealously, the dark tones, etc. which you know I love as part of his character as you write him - with how he has to watch Remus developing feelings for other people (Dorcas), and struggle with his own feelings for Remus, then kissing him and believing that his feelings are unreturned. It's always hard to have to deal with your own feelings when you think you've been rejected.
As always, your writing is so, so lovely - I'm constantly amazed that English is your second language, because it's honestly really hard to tell in this.
I loved it, as always! ;)
Hi again, Laura, my dear!
Thank you, I'm glad the time jumps work, I'm afraid it feels a bit too fragmented at times, so it's good to know that it flows well.
I'm not very good at stringing things out for long... :P Happy that made you happy. ;)
Oh, it's great to know you thought their emotions felt verosimilar and were portrayed well. Poor Remus is so confused and full of doubts at this point and I'm so glad it all felt real.
It is sad that he thinks he doesn't deserve love, but it's just his way of thinking (like you say, he will do the same with Tonks). But yes, he does have people around who love him and can call him out on that.
And yes, poor Peter too. It is so hard for him to see Remus falling for Dorcas and thinking he doesn't return his feelings... at least they talked it through and got together in the end, even if it won't last too long...
Thank you. Well, I try. There are still a lot of things that give me trouble (like irregular verbs and some spelling and prepositions... I really, really hate preposition...) and written English is much easier than spoken English. Anyway...
Thank you so much for another lovely review! :)
Hey there, Chiara - dropping by for our review swap! :) I'm so excited to return to this story - it's such a fascinating and unique take on the Marauders. I've honestly never seen another story like this one, focusing on Remus and especially Peter, and definitely not their friendship or potential relationship.
I gotta say - I love the way you characterise them all, especially Remus and Peter, of course. It's just so realistic and so good - they're such real characters, they really leap off the page and sound like I could actually meet them, you know? You just make them alive... it's little things like how you mention Peter's nervous habits, Remus' wolf-ish side and how it gives him feelings and senses and emotions which aren't entirely his; how neither of them entirely likes Sirius or James at the beginning (which just makes so much sense to me, yk, since they were meant to be so full of themselves at the beginning of their schooldays), and how badly Peter reacts to Remus lying, and Remus' fears about telling his friends the truth. There are internal patterns of logic to each character and it's just so, so good. It's the kind of characterisation which is so beautifully intricate and wonderful, but is so hard to do.
I love love love how you brought Peter, Remus, James, and Sirius together! It's such an organic way to get them into their little group... and all the names, especially the 'Marauders' moniker! Haha, poor McGonagall, she really does try with them but they're just too annoying and too clever :P 'It's Peter's birthday'... I wish I'd ever been able to use that excuse in school (not that I needed it, haha, I was never in trouble, but yk :P)!
Awww, poor Remus and his confusing feelings when Peter takes his hands :P :P :P That, my dear boy, is commonly called 'a crush' :P :P He'll learn that soon enough, though - I hope?! Please? Maybe? :P
Your writing in this is so, so lovely. You have this gorgeous stripped down style I love - which is also super hard to do (at least for me) and requires so much talent to pull off successfully (which you do). Your description in this and the narrative is just so good - it reads so easily and so beautifully, and you make everything about this story come to life.
I loved it. I'll be back - hopefully it won't be too long! :)
Hi, Laura! :)
Thanks for another lovely review! :) I'm so glad you are enjoying the story and that the focus on Remus and Peter and their relationship fascinates you. I do love the two of them as single characters and as a couple.
I'm so glad you like my characterization and that it makes them feel alive! I'm so glad you enjoy all the details and different aspects of their personalities and all their internal and external struggles as well. (And yes, James and Sirius would be quite hard to deal with, especially at the beginning...)
I'm so glad you enjoyed how the group was formed, too, and the way they took their title. :D Poor McGonagall indeed... (and yes, that was quite an awesome excuse :P)
Ahahah! Well, you already read on, so you already know that... but yeah, he will realize it quite soon, even if he might not be so good to manage it... the poor boy...
Aww, I'm so glad you like the style and the narrative and description, thank you so much!
Thanks for the lovely review and for the swap! :)
Howdy Chiara! Sorry to be late on our swap, but I have finally arrived!
I really enjoyed the continued character development in this chapter. We don't often get the opportunity to read the young Marauders - especially Peter and Remus - and certainly not at length. Here you also explored the negative sides of both their personalities which was refreshing too.
Something that really intrigued me was the concept of Peter and Remus being friends before school, but the sudden swoon that came - and total lack of explanation - when Remus was attacked. I've never seen them written (or any of the Marauders for that matter) as having a pre-existing friendship and I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops. I wonder why the Sorting Hat plays into Peter's anger and insecurities about that though. It's shown a certain...personality...in canon, but it makes you wonder what the hat's motivations are.
I like that the chapter ends on a side of Peter we don't see - courage. It is, as he admits, more superficial, but it shows that he has some and tellingly sets up his capability to fake it, which I'm sure was instrumental in his final act of betrayal.
Hey, Kevin! :)
Ah, no worries, it's alright! Glad to have you here!
I'm so glad you liked my characterization of young Remus and Peter in this chapter. They do have their flaws, obviously, and I'm glad you liked to see that, too.
I'm glad you are intrigued by that. They have a pretty strong bond, but there is this sense of betrayal that Peter can't really let go and that will have a big impact on their characters' arcs. And about the Hat... well, I guess I have a tendency to overdo Sorting scenes... but I think what it was trying to do was make Peter see that he needs to be his own person, and not pretend to be someone else just to please other people. The way I see Peter, he's primarily moved by his need to feel accepted/respected/acknowledged and that can be dangerous because you can forget who you are and what is important for you.
Peter must have been brave to an extent or he wouldn't have been sorted in Gryffindor, right? We know that he chose to become an Animagus for Remus, and that would require a certain amount of courage. I'm glad you liked that his bravery shows a little in the final scene, even if it is more superficial.
Thank you so much for the swap and for the lovely review!