Omfg. I guess it’s only fitting that this last chapter was just as emotional as the others.
First off, Chiara, this plot twist at the end—oh gosh. I didn’t expect it all, but it’s ingenious. I’m so terribly sad for Neville, but so happy that Harry gets a second chance and that Lily and James do too, with their second child. I feel such deep sympathy for all the characters who have lost so much in this story; Mary and Silvia are the ones I feel for most, and I think that showing them again really connects this final chapter to the first chapter to show how much has changed.
Chiara, you’ve spun such a beautiful and highly emotional tale; I’m still reeling from all the betrayals and all the romance, the wide breadth of emotions that this story made me feel. I think what I love most about this story is the idea of redemption—without ignoring or underplaying the crime. The amount of pain and anger in this chapter makes it clear to me that Peter’s betrayal isn’t forgiven and that it won’t be forgiven easily, even if he did save Harry—but that he did save Harry and that he did come clean means that he gets a second chance. I think on a larger scale, this entire story has been doing that; you’ve so faithfully portrayed Peter, all his negative characteristics—but you’ve also brought light to his more positive characteristics and his motives for doing what he did, all which are understandable and perhaps even, eventually, forgivable.
All in all, this story has been such an amazing read. Thank you so much for requesting reviews from me; I’ve loved every second of it and hope to come back for a reread at some point. I’m also hoping to read Jimmy soon too because I’m not ready for Peter and Remus’s story to be over.
Great job. You should be super proud of yourself for this. Absolutely loved it <3
OH MERLIN, CHIARA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. MY HEART.
Okay, before I start talking about this chapter, two things. I forgot to mention in my review for the previous chapter how much I absolutely love that Mary is gay for Lily (tbh I suspected it this whole time but I wasn’t sure if I was over-reading or if I was just projecting haha). Also I think this is the 100th review in this story—so i’m going to try to make it a really good one, okay? :)
This chapter was really, really intense. I know I’ve said that about pretty much all the other chapters too, but this one in particular just had so much going on in terms of Peter’s internal conflict. I think that Peter’s Gryffindor and Slytherin sides warring have definitely been a motif throughout the story but it was especially apparent here.
To some degree, I really really hate Peter. I completely understand his self-preservation instinct; it’s natural and it’s a part of him and it makes him human. But when he’s had the chance to experience genuine love, I always imagined that maybe he’d make a different choice—that he would be brave enough to overcome that self-preservation instinct and be as self-sacrificial as, for example, Remus.
The scene wth Dorcas really broke my heart. I think that your descriptions there were really lovely, and I love that you had Peter feeling so much pain too, like he is also suffering from his own cowardice. I’m so glad you portrayed Peter’s discomfort kissing Remus after that—the stab of guilt. At the same time though, Peter really wanted Remus’s love and I can’t help wondering if maybe he was slightly okay with hurting Dorcas because of her relationship to Remus. We saw earlier in this story that they can both be so insanely petty like that.
I think the scene that really shattered my heart to pieces was the final scene when Peter betrays Lily and James. I think other fics I’ve read and definitely the books make his decision seem easy and remorseless, like he wasn’t physically pained by it; I can see in this story that he only broke because of the pain. I really love that, this acknowledgement that humans have a natural capacity for pain. Peter is so deeply human and so flawed; he’s turning out to be this extremely well-developed, complex, morally grey character, and I have to commend you on your excellent characterization.
Final note: I’m so sad that this is the penultimate chapter. This story has been a wild ride, but every chapter has been so well-written. I’m excited to read the last chapter and to see if Peter can be redeemed somehow. Superb job! (and congratulations on your 100th review!)
Loved it. <3
Chiara, please, all these cliffhangers basically break my frickin’ heart uGH.
Okay, this chapter was, always, a fantastic read. I’m really amazed by how well you’ve characterized Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus; I thought that their responses to all the things that they had to do in this chapter were perfect. I like that Sirius and James were bolder and more aggressive at the Auror training and Order meetings—that they jumped right in.
I loved Peter’s fear. As I’ve mentioned before, he really isn’t the typical sort of Gryffindor, fearless and bold; he isn’t James and Sirius. I think his fear during battle was perfectly reasonable and so human—and omfg. I love that Remus calmed him down. These two have such a strong bond with one another; I only wish that Remus would be more selfish from time to time and would actually listen to the people who love him.
Speaking of Remus, I really liked his conversation with Leander. I mean, I sort of want to punch Leander in the face for accusing my baby of supporting Voldemort, but also—that sort of paranoia is so reasonable during war, and I think you portrayed it well.
The scenes with Lily and James’s wedding and the pregnancy announcement was actually sort of bittersweet. It was sweet because they were truly touching, lovely scenes, but also bitter because i could sense Peter’s disillusionment, that he won’t find similar happiness without Remus. It was also bitter for me because that means this story is coming to a close soon and that’s so sad :( I’m not ready for it to be over!
Really, really well done. Loved it <3
Ahh confetti, yes! This chapter just really made me happy. I think that I expected a bit more conflict after the events of the previous chapter, but instead, it was refreshingly light. I think I should let you know none that this fic makes me laugh laufh much. I love the serious/Sirius jokes, I love the sly, witty humor—you’re so clever, Chiara, and this fic never fails to make me giggle (which in turn annoys everyone around me haha).
Really, though. This chapter felt like a testament to a celebration of the Marauders’ friendship with one another and their other friends, that they tested on this precipice in their lives where everything was changing so fast and yet, their friendship stayed so constant. It’s truly a lovely idea.
one small note of concrit: the scene by between James and Lily was super adorable, but I couldn’t really sympathize with their grief too much, because I didn’t know too much about their relationships with the people they lost. I think some more development of that would have been lovely. Generally though, you’re doing a good job making sure that these characters don’t play second fiddle to Peter and Remus and their story, but instead serve to enhance that story.
Overall, this was a brilliant chapter, and i loved it very much. Excellent job, Chiara! <3
CHIARA PLEASE MY HEART CANT TAKE ANYMORE CHAPTERS ENDING WITH SUCH DRAMARIC MOMENTS.
Before I go to the ending, I do want to talk about the rest of the chapter a little bit. It made me so so happy that the Marauders patched things together. I think it’s a really mature and even an optimistic idea that Peter and Remus could still be friends and that Peter could still have a really serious relationship with someone else—I still hope that they’ll get back together, but obviously, that’s just my shipper heart being desperate af. I really did love the scene with Peter and Leander; Leander didn’t have much character in the previous chapter but he seems genuinely caring and genuinely loves Peter, which makes it really hard for me to hate him.
I think my favorite scene in this chapter was definitely Remus at the hospital and then his friends at the Atrium. I could really envision them and they were hilarious and such brilliant friends—sticking together, despite it all. I really really loved it. Another scene that touched me was Sirius leaving his family. I think his conversation with Regulus possibly splintered my heart into a million pieces and I’m still recovering, heh. I think you handled the emotional subtletities in that scene really well—how both Sirius and Regulus were just so convinced they were right, but couldn’t convince the other that family was more important than their ideologies.
OKAY NOW THE LAST SCENE. This was quite intense. I think what would’ve helped a bit would’ve been if Peter had talked to Alistair a bit throughout his Hogwarts years so that Alistair didn’t seem to reappear out of nowhere? I did think that Peter was so exceptionally brave in this scene. To me it served as validation that he does belong in Gryffindor, in the same way that I’ve always felt that Neville belongs in Gryffindor: not necessarily because he’s fearless, but because of his strength of conviction and his undying sense of loyalty. Gosh. I might actually be a bit won over by your interpretation of Peter. Well done, Chiara—as I mentioned before, he’s always one of my least least favorite characters, but this multi-dimensional view of him is so compelling and likable.
Wonderfully done, can’t wait to read the next chapter! <3
Hello Chiara, dear! Here to leave more reviews :) I’ve been thinking about this story all day actually and am so glad I finally had the chance to come back. I apologize beforehand for any of my horrifying spelling errors; it’s rather late here and my brain really wants to sleep but my heart won’t let me until I’ve read at least a few more chapters! Hehe :D
One thing that I really appreciated about this fic was how it started off with a depiction of how easy and effortless the friendship between the girls is—how they get along supremely well, and then essentially was followed by the dramatic, petty fighting among the boys. It made me laugh a little bit also I think it just generally reflects that the idea that girls can’t really be friends with each other is just wholly false. It was a really nice juxtaposition; I thought it was quite clever of you!
Also clever—the title of this chapter! I realize I haven’t been paying much attention to the chapter titles haha, but this one is so stunningly appropriate. I think what was most painful for me was how quickly the heartbreak escalated. In the second mini-section of this chapter, James and Sirius were joking about James hexing Snape, honestly making light of his dislike of Snape. But in the last section, they definitely weren’t laughing about it anymore—and so much else had changed. The Marauders had sort of fractured. I think most other fics I’ve read have shown the Marauders banding even closer together after the incident with Snape, defending Snape; this idea that they might have broken apart due to ideological differences is both extrmely compelling and makes so much sense. Chiara, your insights into these characters continue to amaze me :)
I think one thing that frustrated me this chapter was the pettiness between Remus and Peter, how they started dating other people to make each other jealous, etc. Even the name calling from James made me want to punch him and Remus pushing Peter away after Snape discovered that Remus was a werewolf just made me want to shake some sense into that handsome idiot (I’m shre Peter was feeling the exact same way hehe). I love how you’re maximizing on each of these characters’ faults and how you’re not shying away from these traits at all; I think as writers we feel compelled to make our characters seem ultimately redeemable and likable, but here, they were all rather annoying and frustrating for some reason for the other.
As a whole, I thought that this chapter was extremely well crafted and I really loved reading it. Thanks for sharing. This story makes me think so much! Loved it <3
AHHH. This chapter was so so intense. I think all the chapters have been crazy like that though.
I loved how you treated Remus’s realization of his bisexuality. I liked that it came from small things, noticing guys and girls equally a bit more; what I liked even more was his confusion over it, the natural processing of questioning. I loved that throughout the chapter, Remus interacted in a romantic/sexual way with both girls and guys. Overall, I think you portrayed this in a very realistic and accurate but more importantly very sympathetic way, which I really loved. I also loved how Remus’s father reacted—what struck me most was how bewildered he was that Remus felt he didn’t deserve love.
I think that’s a really powerful statement because I think lots of queer people sort of have this idea thrust down their throats and I like that Remus’s father called it out for being totally bogus. I think my consideration of the Wizarding society’s view of lycanthropy as similar to AIDs really made that all the more emotional. I thought Remis’s coming out scene in general was highly emotional but exceptionally well-handled. Superb job.
I havw to commend you on your ability to shift tone so quickly, so effortlessly, so seamlessly. I was laughing and smiling during the boys’ discussion of the Marauder’s Map but at the first description of Mary’s body I immediately stopped laughing. It was a rather vivid shift too; I could imagine that, if I were watching this as a movie, the music would shift/stop suddenly, and it was rather appropriately dramatic. One thing I’d say, and this sort of applies to Lily and even the boys a bit too, was that I couldn’t really feel that much for Mary’s attack because I didn’t really know her as well as a character.
I know several years have passed since the last chapter, and I sort of wish there had been some mentions of those years as I think they were pretty formative years in terms of the dynamics between the characters. For example, I wanted to see a bit more of Remus actually starting to see Peter in a romantic light. The more major thing for me would be Remus becoming friends with Lily and her friends; I think at the end of the last chapter, they perhaps wouldn’t have been on friendly terms because of the prank? It just felt a bit abrupt to me! I will say that further in the chapter, I could sense more camaraderie, so perhaps I was just a bit slow to pick up on it.
I was incredibly touched by the scene with Regulus and Sirius. I could really sense Sirius’s frustration, watching his brother slip away right in front of him, so blind. You’ve done such a good job of describing Sirius’s relationship wth his family—that he’s proud to be a Black but not in the sense that he shares their values but just in the general sense of loyalty to his family as an entity beyond their beliefs. (I’m not a 100% sure hat makes complete sense lol. I’m sorry, it’s rather late for me and my review is slowly turning into gibberish...)
Okay, now my favorite part. THE KISS. Before I even talk about the kiss and the aftermath, I gotta say: Peter’s jealousy was super freaking cute. I like that his irritation was expressed by his claims that Dorcas was an opportunist; that makes so much sense considering Peter’s intense loyalty to Remus. The kiss itself was delightfully awkward and romantic and I just reread it like ten times, cooing and gasping the entire time.
One thing I appreciate about Sirius is his bluntness. I think that if he and John met, they’d be smashing friends. Honestly, I love that Sirius spoke with so much candor, not taking any of Remus’s BS—I think it’s very well-characterized that Remus, so prone to self-flagellative behaviors, would deny himself love because he was scared or felt he didn’t deserve it. I’m glad Sirius was able to tell him how much of a frickin’ idiot. Remus and Peter’s reconciliation at the end and their confessions were just.... my shipper heart has exploded into a thousand pieces. I’ll have to go try and collect those pieces after I’m done with this (seemingly never ending) review, but I fear I’ll never truly recover.
All in all, Chiara, you’ve made me feel soooo many emotions in one chapter, and I have to commend you in that. You capture all the nuances in these dynamics so well, I’m really envious. I wish I could write as well as you! Lovely, lovely chapter—per the usual. I’m off to sleep now, but I’m sure I’ll have the sweetest dreams (and I’ll be back to read more tomorrow!)
Well done <3
Ahhh. This has been my favorite chapter so far. I love Peter, but I have such a soft spot for Remus. He’s such a lonely, tragic figure—such a sad boy and all I want to do is give him a huge hug
I really loved the slow description of how the Marauders came to be; I liked that Remus was rather wary at first. I loved your descriptions of Remus’s wolf. I think it’s rather hard to do that and still maintain realism, but your descriptions of the wolf’s inner monologue were very well done. I really liked the slow transition from being wary to being happy. And I liked that in the previous chapter, Remus’s wolf could sense people’s negativity and their moods. I’ve always thought of Remus as a deeply empathetic character so this seemed rather appropriate!
OKAY BUT their prank was really truly hilarious? I’m dying here Chiara! I think that was clever and so befitting of the Marauders—and I think it was meant to be the moment they officially became the Marauders, yes, given McGonagall’s use f the word “marauding”?
One thing that felt a bit off to me—did they really master the magic of becoming an Animagus at this age? They’re quite young, aren’t they? I think it would’ve been interesting to see them struggling at it a bit—especially given that Peter isn’t that great at magic either. Either way, that final scene was so heartwarming, and I’m still smiling like an idiot when I think of it. So sweet—and I’m sure that sort of unconditional acceptance really sealed their brotherhood.
Super excited to read more, and well done per the usual! <3
OKAY CHIARA. This was an extraordinarily interesting chapter, and I have lots of thoughts, so buckle in.
First, I can tell that I was right about Peters mother playing a role in his eventual turn of allegiance from the Marauders to the Death Eaters. I’m really interested in the idea that Peter actually has no idea about his lineage; I can tell that Mary has probably been partially shunned from the Yaxleys, or voluntarily left them behind for whatever reason (á la Amdromeda Tonks, perhaps?) and it’s rather intriguing to me. When I read about Peter’s cousins wanting him to be Slytherin and Peter wanting to be a Gryffindor because of Remus, I feel like that probably serves as setup for a conflict I expect to see often throughout the rest of the story: Peter’s internal character and his family push him in one direction, but he is drawn in an entirely different direction due to his loyalty to Remus.
The sorting, actually, was my favorite part of this chapter. I think you showed lots of nuance and care in the description of Peter’s sorting. I love that Peter is for all intents and purposes a real Slytherin, that even he acknolwedges that he’s better suited for Slytherin—that he isn’t really brave in the way of a Gryffindor. I love that it was Peter’s conviction in Remus that led him to want to be a Gryffindor. Honestly, I think it’s rather romantic! I do like how at the end, Peter started to show some bravery, at least in talking to James and Sirius. I think there’s definitely also an internal conflict in Peter between his Gryffindor and Slytherin sides and I’m excited to see that play out.
Every time you mention Remus’s earlier betrayal of Peter, I get sad. Because I think that whenever/however Remus betrays Peter next, it’ll perhaps be the final turn that makes Peter switch allegiances? Maybe that’s just terribly wrong lol. I’m the sort of reader who likes to make all sorts of wild guesses when I’m reading s novel.. but don’t tell me what happens! I lIke to be surprised, heh :)
Last note because this review is getting a bit long—I really love that you’re portraying Peter as observant, but not really a genius. I think that is an interesting and very fair nuance, and seems really befitting of his character; it makes him actually pretty compassionate, which makes him all the more likable. But I enjoy that his compassion seems mostly directed to Remus; he doesn’t seem to have much affection for James and Sirius, and I’m guessing he’s only really talking to them because they’re Remus’s friends.
All in all, Peter is such an intriguing, well-developed character—and I’m loving him so far. Super well done, Chiara! <3
Hi Chiara! You requested reviews from me a looooong time ago and I only now had the chance to leave them; I’m so sorry for the delay, but I hope you’ll request reviews again because this was such a delight to read (and I’m super excited to keep reading).
Full disclosure: I’m a true Wolfstar shipper and have always been—and Peter has honestly always ranked highly on my list of least favorite characters in the series, while Remus has always ranked highly on my list of most favorite characters in the series. I was curious to see if I’d ship them together; it can be a bit difficult to sway me at times. I’ll safely say that after this first chapter, I understand Peter a bit more—or at least, your version of Peter.
I think one thing that I really loved about this chapter was the portrayal of the loyalty that Peter has for Remus. I think I’ve always wondered why Peter was classified as a Gryffindor—I believe he was actually a hatstall between Gryffindor and Slytherin. The argument that most people stick by is that Peter loyally stuck to his beliefs, that he was brave in his own convinction. I like your interpretation much better: he was sorted into Gryffindor because of his loyalty. As it appears now, Peter is extremely loyal to Remus and definitely super brave—standing up to Dylan Prewett and all the other neighbor children is definitely a Gryffindor trait. I think you’re doing a really good job so far of giving Peter a fairly portrayal, which I appreciate.
I also think your portrayal of Remus as a child is very good too. He’s a bit of a serious child, I see, which seems perfectly fitting for Remus; he’s also really frickin’ adorable which is completely IC. I sympathize with him so much for all the things he has to deal with even at such a young age—being a werewolf, etc. I can see why he’s so close to Peter, for his constant support. There’s a few things that I’m still a curious about/was surprised you didn’t mention yet—for example, how was Remus turned? (Maybe I’m forgettong something canonically though...).
I’m also super curious about Peter’s background. His mother being a Yaxley is super interesting and I’m sure that’s going to show up later. I’m actually rather amazed at her acceptance of Remus as a werewolf—I’d assume that she would have Pureblood ideals ingrained into her, so her open mindedness is a pleasant surprise. I’m curious to learn about her and whether she is one of the reasons that Peter becomes a Death Eater.
Lastly—I think you did a really great job with portraying children. Children are super hard to write but you captured the innocent simplicity quite well. I was grinning. Especially when Peter was so excited about the pear and chocolate cake (those are really good flavors; good taste, Peter!).
Overall, super well done. Excited to read the next chapter <3
Hi Chiara! :) Dropping by for our review swap - super, super late, I know and I'm sorry!
Ahhhhh omg, so this is how it connects to your Jimmy Portman world! I love that you kinda redeemed Peter a bit, by having him go and take Harry and run - perhaps it's not the bravest thing because he should really have explained it all to Lily and James, but it's still brave: taking a kid and running to draw Voldemort away from James and Lily, so that they and Harry can all be safe. As much as I like that in canon, Peter isn't really redeemed by simply not killing Harry (at least, not in my opinion, haha), I like that here you show a different side to him, maybe what he would have done if he could have.
And Remus! Poor, poor Remus! I feel so much for him in this, even though he isn't in it for too long - him and Peter's mother. It's so sad for him how he's still in love with Peter, despite everything, how he wants to believe Peter's not evil and not heartless, that he's fine and Harry's fine and that he didn't become a Death Eater out of choice. I love, though, how there's that conflict, though, where Remus wants to believe it but there's a sense that rationally he thinks it's not likely. And the difference in treatment Remus gives to Peter and Sirius: with Sirius it's something he personally suffered, something he's suffered all his life with Sirius believing he was the traitor, whereas with Peter it's not something he personally suffered - Harry wasn't his child, after all. And love changes things - when you love someone or care about someone, you are more inclined to let things go, it's so true. Poor boys.
My heart breaks for James and Lily, though - how they lose a child and a friend on the same evening, how they then find out they're pregnant again but it's so overshadowed by the loss of Harry. It's so so horrible for them - even if it does save Harry :/
And Neville as the boy who lived! :P
As always, your writing was so so good in this. You really brought all of the characters to life and dealt so well with the quick time-skips and changes and how they grew throughout the story into almost exactly who they were in canon. I loved your Remus and Peter and their turbulent, difficult relationship from friendship into love and then beyond that (though never quite beyond :P). This was such a great, great story and I loved it :)
Oh, my! I'm so, so, so sorry this review has been left unanswered for so long! I'm so glad that you followed me till the very end of this story and that you enjoyed the journey! :)
Yes, this is how it connects to Jimmy. :P I agree with you, the way Peter died in canon didn't completely redeem him, even if I think it is a really important moment and I'm still angry that it wasn't showed in the movies at all... (sorry for the little rant here). To be true, I don't think I completely redeemed him either. Yes, he saved Harry, but the way he did it still isn't right and he should have told the truth instead. But that's not something Peter would have done, right?
Yeah, it was particularly hard for both Remus and for Mary. Remus and Peter's bond was very strong and it wouldn't be easy for Remus to just let go and admit that Peter wasn't a good person. I think it is natural that he would cling to that hope that Peter didn't really want to do any evil (which is sort of true) and that he would make excuses for him. As for Sirius... his mistrust really was painful for Remus for more than one reason and it wouldn't be so easy for Remus to forgive him.
Yeah, poor James and Lily, too. Discovering this new pregnancy right after losing Harry must have been so hard for them. But I can promise you that they will be (mostly) happy.
And yes, Neville is the Boy Who Lived. :P
I'm so, so glad you enjoyed the story! Thank you so much for reading it all and for this wonderful review!
oh my god chiara is this going to be a PETER PETTIGREW RAISES HARRY POTTER FIC
I SURE DID NOT SEE THIS COMING
Look I honestly don't know why anyone faced with Voldy would try any spell other than the good ole AK, he's definitely gonna kill you and i'm pretty sure the ministry won't put you in azkaban for murdering Voldemort
ohhhhh my goooodnesssssss i was hoping somehow that the Potters would be reunited, but of course Harry is still missing, this is the worst! By which I mean I am extremely emotionally invested in it and I love it a lot!
Remus. Remus John Lupin. Remus you look at me when I'm talking to you. Are you listening? Are you? Listen to this: YOU ARE THE WORST. drop peter! drop him like he's a tonne of bees!!!! you can't still love him, he KIDNAPPED YOUR FRIEND'S BABY AND IS LEAGUE WITH LORD VOLDEMORT.
oh my god PETER why would you WRITE A LETTER why are you the WORST UGH I HATE THIS (i love it) REMUS PLEASE S T O P
I mean obviously I talk a big game, but in that kind of life-or-death situation, what would I choose? I never want to find out but I don't have high hopes.
oh my god, of course, that's who jimmy portman is!!!!!!
well chiara, know that I loathe everything about how this story ends and tomorrow I will eagerly devour the sequel. Everything manages to be like........................almost worse than canon? Or I guess just equally painful. How did you make an Everybody Lives equally painful? That takes a lot of skill. God, this story was masterfully told and it was such a joy to read, thank you!
Ahahah! Surprise! :P
Yes, that's exactly what it was all about (what Jimmy Portman is all about, actually...)
Yeah, an Avada Kedavra would be the logic choice when faced with Voldemort... but I suppose it has something to do with good wizards avoiding dark magic... and Harry killed him with an Expelliarmus in the end, so... but yes, Frank should probably have gone for it...
If Harry was reunited with the Potters, I would have no story to tell... once again, sorry...
I think I told you already, but reading you shouting at Remus makes me chuckle every single time! :P And of course you are right, he should let him go... but as I already said, love is not logical... as for Peter... well, at least he's trying? And I guess no one would really ever want to find out...
Oh, come on. It isn't worse than canon. Sirius won't spend twelve years in Azkaban, Remus will have friends around (even if the heartbreak over Peter will always be there) and James and Lily will get their chance to life (even if the heartbreak over Harry will always be there). It's really not THAT bad... <3
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing the whole story, it really meant a lot! And I'm so, so glad you enjoyed the journey! And I can't wait to hear your thoughts about Jimmy!
I'm surprised Peter folded so quickly? Or rather I guess I'm surprised he started off resisting so strongly, I guess. But pain goes a long way. And perhaps he's thinking that if the war is over quicker, fewer people will be dead. Which, of course, is not at all how it will work but....I'm trying to justify his actions. I don't want Peter to be a bad person because you've spent the last 45k making me CARE about him, how RUDE of you.
Ah, delicious, the I'm-not-the-spy conversation. This fic is rapidly making me aware of how much of a massive sucker I am for the hot mess that is the Order just before the end of the war. I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.
" She’d found out, with stupor, that she loved the wolf as well." stupor is probably not the word you want here? But I'm not 100% sure which word you do want.
" tracing her flanks with his fingers" again, more of a like....minor correction, but I'd probably go with thighs instead of flanks? Horses have flanks, but people generally don't. update: I just googled flank and I was NOT applying it correctly to humans because I forgot how to translate horse skeletons to human skeletons?? anyway, the meaning you're going for is "waist", not "flanks", my bad. (i am not good at english, and yet....it is my best language.......)
" misterious" mysterious
OH NO IS PETER GOING TO MURDER DORCAS
OH GOD NO CHIARA DON'T DO THIS TO ME PERSONALLY
HOW COULD YOU
oh my godddd she's dead and PETER KILLED HER and i had managed to FORGET that she was dead!!!! i was enjoying her so much that I genuinely forgot that by the end of this story she had to be dead! I regret getting emotionally invested in a story where almost every character canonically dies at the end.
Oh my god Remus RUN LEAVE THIS PLACE!!!! I guess he cleaned up his vomit before he got outta there. Pete why are you the worst. Obviously I would say something about how Remus really should've had that conversation in person (though for once he has a very good justification! His girlfriend has just died!) except I really hate Peter Pettigrew and want Remus as far away from him as possible
(who am I kidding, I am HEARTBROKEN that peter pettigrew would betray me personally in this way)
Ah, Peter realising it was him or them, and then Voldemort crucio-ing him anyway!!! that was such a perfect betrayal scene. But booyyyyy I am so sad about everything. ðŸ˜” why did I read this fic that could only end in pain??
Hi, Emma, my love!
It's almost midnight but I don't want to go to bed yet, so I thought I'd reply to these last two reviews of yours... :P
I'm sorry for making you care for Peter and then turning it all upside down... no, it's not true, I'm not sorry... the way I see it, Peter had already lost hope. Yes, he tried to resist at first because he wanted to stay loyal to his friends, but then the torture and the threats and the fear of dying and the doubt of his friends' love became too much to take and I think he thought there was no point... actually, I'm not even sure if he was thinking straight in that moment. I don't think you can think straight in certain life ot death situations...
I'm glad you liked that confrontation between Sirius and Remus, I think it was an important thing to show, since we know from canon that Sirius believed Remus to be the spy. :(
Okay, this time I truly am sorry... Dorcas' death is the part of this story that killed me the most to write... I'm so, so sorry... she didn't deserve it... and Peter is just awful... (but I love him anyway?)
Remus should have had that conversation in person... probably he shouldn't have gone to Peter in the first place, it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but rationality and sentiments rarely go along, right? And yes, I know, Peter deserves to be hated... Once again, my apologies...
Glad you "liked" the betrayal scene, as painful as it was. Sorry for making this chapter so painful... *hugs*
pete freezing up in battle is very good, I love it. and sirius being angry! and remus defending him! it's all so perfect!!! I like it even more that it was a surprise, and Sirius was able to rise to it and Peter not; because Sirius can roll with the punches but Peter needs the stability of having friends who can protect him specifically so he doesn't have to roll with the punches.
the way leander is becoming a fash just by Following Orders is also very good. because remus doesn't have any right to privacy!!! he's dirty werewolf scum!!!!
remus ohhh my god are you going to break things off because you don't want to give your partner the chance to make their own decision about how much danger they want to be put in by association with you, you SURE ARE aren't you bud, why are you so predictably the wooooorst
I Love Mary Macdonald. I'll fight anyone who hurts her. I love her friendship with Peter!!! I love that she danced with him and they had FUN for once. I'm so glad any time these poor children have fun.
" For a moment, she felt a point of guilt at the thought that she would bring a new life in such a dark and battered world." wooooooof, Lily, this hurt a looot. But it's so good -- and such a real dilemma.
And oh no. that voice. Is it Yaxley???
This was a delightful chapter! I love how well-paced this story is, there are so many things going on and yet it never feels rushed or like you've got too many balls in the air at once. Peter's.....downward slide, I guess, is really skillfully done too -- just as Remus is pulling away and acting real suspicious to the Marauders (i'm SO glad in this universe he has Dorcas in the know, though! at least he can have one good thing). Peter is also becoming pricklier. You have this really wonderful skill in showing how it's a slow deterioration for both Remus and Peter -- how the war/existing while werewolf is wearing them down. I cannot believe I only have two chapters to go, oh nooooo. what if i stopped here and everyone was happy(ish) and no one had betrayed anyone and no one was dead?
I think that's how it would go, with Peter panicking, and Sirius getting angry, and Remus trying to defend Peter. Can't you see it going exactly like that? Poor Pete, even though he should have known better and not joined the Order in the first place...
Ah, Leander... he's doing what he thinks is best... but yes, he's being quite awful about the whole thing, there's no reason for him to treat Remus that way...
And well, this is Remus, so of course he's doing that. Fortunately, Dorcas is not going to just surrender.
Mary is precious, isn't she? So glad you liked that little bonding moment between her and Peter. :)
Yeah, it is a real dilemma... poor Lily... :(
Not going to answer that one, you already know the answer anyway...
I'm so glad you liked this chapter and the progression of the story and of Peter and Remus' characters so far. Thank you so, so much again for all the lovely reviews, I'm going to reply to the last ones soon (right now I need to take a break because I need food and my pc needs charge...)
oh no oh my boy. jk does her metaphors for irl oppressions so poorly but it's good to see you taking them and treating them right. by which i mean: forcing him to wear the wrist band is the worst and 100% what would happen
oooh, i'm excited to see how he's fallen out with the girls? oh no he hasn't he's just ashamed of the red band. ðŸ˜” oh man, this....if remus's lycanthropy is basically an open secret, and I mean -- if he's wearing the band then it's not even a secret, everyone at hogwarts is going to know. which means that surely people would know and object to him being appointed DADA teacher? though I guess that could very well not happen in this universe. hmmmMMM.
" carrier choosing" career choosing
“You should really try the political carrier, Dor,” probably change it to "You should go into politics, Dor,"
REMUS PLEASE JUST TAKE THE MONEY. severance pay is a real thing! my boy!!! please stop making bad decisions!!!
remus i support your life choices and decision not to wear the band at school but have you thought this through, have you discussed it with dumbledore, he could help!
dorcas my girl you're making bad decisions but honestly i can't really fault you for it. we have all done very silly thing for cute people we wanna date.
!!! james as like, the Bully Everyone Fears is also very good. I'm not sure what caused the change of heart, but Remus has been saying that people have feelings pretty much since the first chapter, so I like this throughline.
Oh boys. I'm so proud of Remus for making the decision to wear that band, defiant pride in who you are is so good. And I'm glad they went out on a Fred-and-George-style prank.
I am so sad it can only get worse from here.
Ah, yes, that's just plain awful, isn't it? I'm glad you thought that's something that would likely happen, though, because I feared to have gone a bit too far... but we know that these things (and worse things) have happened (and might happen again, and possibly are happening) in reality, so it really shouldn't be surprising? The world is such a bad place at times... :(
But back to Remus... yes, he's ashamed of the band... as for everyone at Hogwarts knowing... well, as you know I worked around that one... it's still not a secret, since the Ministry had always been aware of Remus' lycanthropy. And as for him getting the DADA job in the future... okay, little spoiler (not sure if it even is a spoiler, because I doubt I'll ever get to write Jimmy, year 3...) he won't, but for different reasons. :P
I will never spell career right, I'm sorry. It's just out of my capabilities.
Severance pay is a real thing, but Remus is just too stubborn and proud, I'm afraid. And no, I don't think he's really thought it through, but it's going to work out anyway.
Can't blame Dorcas for wanting to date Remus, either. :P (Dunno if I mentioned this before, I'm sure you guessed even if I didn't, I have a little bit of a crush on Remus...)
The thing about James is, he is the bully everyone fears, but he doesn't realize. He doesn't mean to hurt people, he just can't tell the difference between a nice joke and being humiliating and cruel (that's how I've always imagined it, anyway). And now he's just got to the point where he's starting to see things in a more adult light and he's starting to realize where the line should be drawn. And well, I suppose Remus' message had to pass at a certain point, even if it took a while. Repetita iuvant, right? :P
I'm happy you are proud of Remus' decision to wear the band! And I'm also glad you enjoyed their final prank (I had a lot of fun writing it!) :D Yes, it's all going downwards from here, I'm afraid... but you know already... :(
can i start a kickstarter for remus's self-esteem, just let yourself be happy!!! yes your relationship with peter is a dysfunctional mess, but it's high school, any high school relationship is going to be a dysfunctional mess!!! let yourself have good things!
oh my god peter pettigrew are you gonna shag a boy in the shrieking shack after showing him how to get past the whomping willow i swear to god
" if Aunt Druella had a syncope" I think it would make more sense if you said "If Aunt Druella fainted", but apparently they refer to syncope as a countable noun in medical journals, so it's not wrong?
" a bit paranoiac" a bit paranoid
remus you did incredibly poorly in that interview, 3/10, were you even trying. "the family dog" my arse.
oh no oh nooooo my children!!!!! doing a protest!!!!! aaaaaaah, i love this scene, it was so cute! remus laughing! "i've never seen them before in my life" and then immediately addressing them by name, oh my goddddd SO PERFECT
" reversing all the content" spilling the contents on the table
ah boy the yaxley scene was DELICIOUSLY ominous, I loved it a lot. When he wishes Peter dead and then hopes he'll be there -- gah so good.
This chapter was delightful! There was a real good balance of the different story lines you're juggling (absolutely perfectly, I might add -- I don't think I mentioned it before, but seriously, you're so good at weaving all the different threads together) and the development of anti-werewolf legislation is so well done! man, I love this fic a lot and I am sorry this review is quite short? I am not sure if I have any else to say about this chapter, but onto the next one!
You can, but I doubt you will be too successful... I don't think Remus will ever allow himself happiness, no matter how good your arguments are...
Peter is Peter, what can I say? That's the kind of thing he would do. Vengeful, remember?
Ahahah! Remus didn't do very well in that interview... such a bad liar... but that's the reason I love him, you know? :P And yay for the kids' protest! They are special! :)
Glad you liked the Yaxleys scene, too. Poor Peter... :(
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, I think it's one of my favourites. :) Glad you liked the political aspects, too, because I was a bit nervous about it... Thank you so much for the wonderful review!
" It was already a conquer." I genuinely am not sure what this sentence is supposed to be, but conquer isn't a noun, the noun is conquest. That said, I wouldn't say 'conquest' makes any sense here either, so uhh... I'm really not terribly helpful, I'm so sorry.
"Don't be a dumper" -- I...have never heard 'dumper' used as an insult? Obviously, there is more in heaven and earth than I've heard of, so don't take that as law, I'm just letting you know that I can't find it on the internet either.
" He kept his eyes shut, despite the burning desire to set them on his face." I am also not sure what this means?
remus why are you being like this, REMUS NO remus don't noooooo my boyyyy this is NOT the answer, you know this was sirius's fault!!!!! my boy!!!!!!
these boys are so goddamn broken, someone help them express emotion in a healthy way and deal with their conflicts oh my goddd
ohhh OH MY GOD DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT WOW JAMES
pete, my boy, if it makes you feel better, there is another option to him believing it on some level! he could have just noticed your discomfort and decided that's the thing that would hurt you most! i mean......it's a generous interpretation, but....
" He'd sort of hoped Remus would take his defenses, instead he'd just worried about his damned secret." -- should be "take his side" or "come to his defence", you've kind of scrambled them both. I think if he's referring back to the thing James said, 'come to his defence' makes more sense?
Remus my boy I think you taking the moral high ground here when you did nothing to stop them tormenting snape is a bit rich.
MY BOY WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH POOR DECISIONS
" The bald man who'd made the incision" incision is definitely not the right word? engraving, perhaps? not 100% what this is referring to, but unless he's cutting Remus open, I doubt it's an incision.
this chapter is just My Boys Make Bad Decisions: The Feature Film
I'm so sorry this review is 50% correcting you and 50% yelling "MY BOY" repeatedly. i just have no other thoughts other than [unintelligible screaming]
I'm afraid Remus's not going to listen... :P And no, I'm not going to apologize, sorry... And yes, my boys are idiots, but I said that already... :/
He did just say that... side note, here is where the events in "Shattering, dying, healing" take place, meaning the reason James is so broken and has that outburst is because he received the news of Aaron's death that morning. This doesn't really justify him, but, you know...
Oh, well. Yes, a bit rich, but he did just stop them? Even if he should have much earlier? I guess he's trying, at least? (I know I shouldn't keep defending my characters, I can't help it...)
Ahahah! this chapter is just My Boys Make Bad Decisions: The Feature Film Yes, that sums it up quite well! :P
Oh boyyyy, Remus's relationship with Sirius and James is so GOOD. It makes so much sense and yet I'd never considered it like this before? Sirius and James think they're being nice because they'd punch anyone who was rude to him, but in terms of the parts of friendship that Remus actually wants -- like, say, feeling safe and unjudged -- they're massively falling down.
" Marlene's breast" should be Marlene's breasts
Oh my godddd i'm going to DIE he's talking to his dad and i'm going to DIE tell me when it's over i can't look
john lupin is such a champ, what a legend.
oh my god i just realised that now he'll end up ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THESE FEELINGS and i am melting in second hand embarrassment already, oh noooooooo
The fact that no one was expelled for the Mary incident but Hagrid was expelled for having a large spider as a pet even though it definitely wasn't petrifying or killing people is............a lot. why is hogwarts SO BAD at being a school.
Oh! Also, throughout the fic, you use "Madam Pomphrey" when it should be "Madam Pomfrey". I mean, it's not important, but just if you wanted to know.
Peter i'm going to PERISH please oh my god
also "famelic" is not a word I've ever encountered and I think it's obsolete? But once again, I'm not sure which word to replace it with. So we'll just have to revive this word too.
" repulsing" I'd probably change this to repulsive?
Look I'm not going to lie, I had to skim the bit where Remus actually confronts Peter, the second hand embarrassment is TOO STRONG, but that is an Emma problem, not a you problem. I'm just a weenie.
A weenie who is very apprehensive about....what will inevitably come next. I hate knowing Peter will betray-- hang on, if in this universe Neville is the chosen one, maybe he DOESN'T betray them? but that chapter coming up is called "traitors", oh goddddd
Ahahah! James and Sirius do love him... they just like to make fun of him... in a totally friendly way, of course... (that's how boys' friendship works, I think?) But no, they aren't particularly good at "safe and unjudged". :P
John Lupin is a great man, no arguing! ;)
Remus actually doing something about his feelings? Are you kidding me? I mean... I guess he will... very carefully... very messily... but there's probably no reason for you to panic over it... or maybe yes, I'm not sure...
Certain things don't make sense. Wizards are quite irrational sometimes. The only thing I can say is that the culprits were never caught (or at least, it was never proved that they did anything), otherwise I'm quite sure they would be expelled. Still not very good, because proving things doesn't always seem a priority in the wizarding world, but...
Ah, Peter... my boys are idiots, I apologize... :/
I'm sorry that final bit embarrassed you a little... but of course sensibility is different for each one of us and that's okay. :) As for what's going to come... well, you already know, so...
Lots of hugs, my dear!
I've never seen a Remus who is reluctant to become friends with Sirius and James before -- I guess because I have some vague memory of the canon story being that they met on the train? but maybe I'm wrong -- and it's really interesting. Like, I'd always imagined that Remus a) genuinely enjoyed the mischief (obviously) and b) was....I guess, Peter-like, just Grateful To Have Friends. Reluctant to get too close, sure, but keen to do a friendship. This is not at all that Remus and I'm very excited to see where it's going. This Remus makes sense -- he would be reluctant to get involved in any trouble because if wasn't a model student, the teachers could very well just decide to ruin his life, so he wouldn't want to risk that.
OH NO, REMUS DOES NOT KNOW HOW FRIENDSHIP WORKS. he's so confused by Black and Potter being nice to him!!!! Giving a crap about his mum because even if you don't know a person, you're still sad that their mum is sick. Remussssssss.
Oh no and Sirius claiming he knows how to do the silencing charm and everyone being like 'nooo it's too ~advanced', oh my goodness, I love it so much, it's the kind of thing I don't think about enough -- showing things that we know later on become really easy being hard at the beginning.
Hmm I'm kind of confused by that scene, to be honest? The one where Remus has called James a coward, it feels like I've missed something? Even though logically I didn't NEED to see Remus call him a coward, but I guess I don't know....how it happened? I dunno.
" Yet, many dowels started to finally get into place." This is not an idiom that I know of? I've googled it and I can't find any reference to it. "fall into place" is the idiom -- so it could be "Yet, all his unexplained behaviours fell into place" or "everything began to fall into place"? Again, you can tell me to bugger off if you want.
I love that James is like "not so LOUD" immediately, that's so delightful -- he understands quicker than the other two that this is actually Serious Business. But boys, this plan to like..........interrogate him until he breaks is a baaad idea. Imagine how unsafe he's gonna feel! Boys! Boys where are you going, why are you not listening to me--aaand now you've made him cry. Boys. Boys please.
The boys not even realising you have to be registered!!!!! God it's so good. And then when Peter is nervous to open his present but Remus chose it so it's probably not going to explode in his face or turn him into a canary, aaaah. Perfect.
"Merlin, no! That's poetry draught! Potter, confess! This all your fault!" -- the rest of this exchange is I guess slant rhyme, but this is not even that, unfortunately! I know that draught SHOULD rhyme with fault, but it doesn't, it sounds like 'draft'. I'm terribly sorry. Also, "this IS all your fault" or "it's all your fault" if you're trying to preserve a metre? A lot of the exchanges don't rhyme, actually, I'm not sure what it was you were going for? You might be able to put it into iambic pentameter? Or some other meter, it doesn't necessarily feel like it's in one at the moment? Gosh I'm so sorry this sounds very rude, I am liking the fic a lot!
Excuse me while I go cry at Remus's experience of being a werewolf who can be happy. It's fine, I'm fine, I'm just....crying.
(this is so long! my apologies)
I don't think they met on the train in canon... James and Sirius shared a compartment, and for a little while Lily and Severus were with them, but I don't remember Peter or Remus being mentioned to be there? But maybe I remember wrong, too... :P Either way, my idea is that Remus is just too scared of his secret being uncovered and of hurting someone or being hurt by someone, so he doesn't want to get too close to anyone. And that people like James and Sirius in particular would scare him even more because they are popular and rowdy and... just a bit overwhelming, I guess?
No, Remus doesn't know how friendship works... or just simply compassion, really... he's so used to being isolated and bullied that he can't process people being nice to him with no other reason than being nice... my poor child... :(
Yes, I know, it's a bit out of the blue... I had a draft of that scene but it didn't fit in my structure and I couldn't make it work anyway and I thought I could just leave it to the reader's imagination... :P My idea was that James and Sirius were making a scene in the common room and were making fun of Lily about Severus and then Remus intervened saying that they were just bullies and unrespectful of people's feelings and cowards and then he just ran off when he realized that everyone was staring at him. Something like that. Anyway...
Interrogate him until he breaks down is NOT a good idea... but all's well that ends well, right? Still, poor Remus...
Rules? What are they? :P And yes, Peter would be scared by a present from the Marauders, but if Remus chose it maybe it's not that dangerous. ;)
Yes, I know that the rhymes weren't precise, but I was trying to give it a sort of assonance and poetic cadence (even if not in a precise metric necessarily)? I suppose things don't sound the way I think they do... English pronunciation is HAAAAARD.
Hugs! Well, Remus is happy, it's a good thing, isn't it?
Okay, I really have to go now, but I will try to be back with more replies soon!
"Would you really decide who you want to be, based on who your friends are? Don't you find it childish?" WOOOOOF. THERE WE ARE. there is that defining characteristic of Peter Pettigrew, I love this whole exchange with the hat so much.
"Are you? Well, I don't care. I don't think I still want to be your friend anyway." an interesting tactic, peter, given you literally just demanded to be in gryffindor based solely on the friendship of remus lupin, but....sure bud. sure. go on.
"No, of course not," Peter rebated" as far as I know, rebated isn't a word in this context?
oh noooo, that means that whole ploy about not wanting to be remus's friend was just to make him feel bad!!! peter, why are you so evil D:
" collogue in ways that felt very suspicious" well I have learnt a new word today! Obviously you can 100% tell me to bugger off, but I don't think I have ever seen that word used before? Then again, I can't think of a good word to replace it, we just don't have a verb that means the same thing, which is a shame because it's a useful word! perhaps the answer is to make this one popular again. Regardless, because all the other verbs in that phrase take an -ing, it needs to as well. Colloguing? I had to google that but it appears to be the correct way to conjugate it.
Man, the way Peter is noticing what's happening makes it weirder that it took them until second year to find out -- although, I guess if term is from september to june, and let's say we take out december for holidays, that is only eight months, so no, I guess that tracks too. I mean, surely you'd think of a lot of explanations before you settled on 'werewolf'.
" Aside Remus." should have a "from" in between there.
Man, I love the 'he deserved more' line. It's so...deliciously ominous. I love the interactions between Peter, James and Sirius right at the end here -- perhaps it's just my personal biases, but I am very excited to see how that plays out. I mean, we know vaguely how it plays out, but your Peter is different and exciting and I want to know the specifics, which I am sure you will provide in the coming chapters.
Glad you liked Peter's sorting. Yes, that's how he is, trying to fit in by being what people around him expect him to be...
Yeah, I think making Remus feel bad is what he was trying to do... as I said, he's vengeful... :/
I had no idea "colloguing" was an archaic word... I just picked it from google translator... :P Anyway, I like the idea of Peter as an observer, it fits with his personality and with him becoming a spy later on... as for not finding out about Remus sooner... I don't think anyone would ever imagine their friend to be a werewolf, right?
Again, that's Peter, I think? I'm glad you liked Peter approaching James and Sirius here. :)
See you on the next chapter in a moment!
Yaxley?????? Oh my god. I never considered Peter being part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, huh.
Oh nooooo, the HEARTBREAK of having to LOCK YOUR CHILD IN THE GARAGE and then hear him suffer so!!! I had never considered how hard it must have been for the Lupins and boy am I considering that now.
Oh man, baby child Peter creeping his mother out, this is a much more evil Peter than the Peter in my head? Which obviously isn't bad, different interpretations of characters are good! With my image of Peter, there wouldn't be warning signs except for blind loyalty and he could be convinced to do anything for approval. This Peter is....darker than that. Capable of doing evil by himself.
The concept of Remus running on just as the train doors closed gave me the willies, I hate trains so much -- what if the doors close on me, what if I fall through the gap, what about PROPER SAFETY MEASURES. I mean, Britain wouldn't know proper safety measures from Adam, so...I mean, it's totally accurate. This is after all the country that had buses that you could get onto while they were moving.
I am intrigued by this beginning! A Peter who has blood connections and a local wizarding community! Remus Lupin, too small to understand the gravity of his situation! If my internet ever cooperates, I am keen to read the next chapter. I just have to actually load it.
Hey, Emma, darling! :)
Finally I'm here to reply to your reviews, sorry it took me so long...
Ah, yes, Yaxley. I didn't really think too much about it in the beginning, I just wanted to pick a Pureblood surname... it turned out to be quite central in the end, didn't it? :P
Yes, it must have been terrible for them... and for little Remus, too... I can't get over how tragic his backstory is, poor child... :(
My interpretation of Peter is that he is vengeful and quick to anger (but I suppose you know how I see him by now...) I wouldn't call him evil, necessarily, but he surely has a dark side and I wanted to show that.
Ahahah! I didn't mean it as a dangerous thing? But now that you mention it, yes, it is... wizards aren't very good at safety measures anyway, are they? :P
Glad you found the first chapter intriguing, now I'm moving on to reply to the other reviews! ;)
Lots of love,
Hey there, Chiara! Dropping by for our review swap! :)
Oh. my. gosh. Okay, so this was a hugely loaded chapter! Poor Peter! I've got to say that I've never really thought about how Peter became a Death Eater, but it makes a lot of sense that he would have been, er, well, convinced in that kind of way - with his cousin and the torture and the threats to his mother. I was so worried his mother was going to get murdered, though, so that's a slight relief :P I kinda thought his cousin was going to come back, though - they seemed to give up too easily before :/ And the way you wrote Voldemort in this, with all the cold hissing voice and the disappointment and the demanding, almost emotionless nature is so, so right for him. So creepy :P
And Remus. I loved how you included the others being convinced that he was the spy and why - it made so much sense, yk, that it was because he was on a job for Dumbledore and, well, yk, prejudice is a hard thing to un-learn when you've been taught it all your life. It's so so harsh and so difficult for him - losing your friends like that is horrible for anyone, but especially for Remus when he's fought so hard to convince himself that he deserves them and that he can have friends. And losing Dorcas as well, almost at the same time - ugh. Even though it's horrible, I did like that you included her death, as it really brought the war to life, yk?
As always your writing was so so good in this - I loved how you described Peter's fears and Remus' wolf and that the others thought that he was the spy.
As always, this is such a good story and you've really brought Peter and Remus and their whole relationship to it in a way I would never have thought could be done, yk? I can't believe there's only one chapter left! :(
Hi, Laura, my dear! :) Sorry for taking so long to reply...
Oh, yes, I've always thought that Peter would have been forced into becoming a Death Eater through threats and torture, poor boy... and yes, of course Yaxley was going to come back... Oh, that's good to know that you think I wrote Voldemort well. You are the Dark Wizards' expert, so it's so good to hear coming from you! :)
Yes, poor Remus... it's sadly believable that he would be the primary suspect, being a werewolf and everything... and I agree with you that it would be especially harsh on him since he had such a hard time convincing himself that he deserved friends in the first place... and Dorcas, too... :(
I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter and the story in general! Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Lots of love,
Oh, Chiara. <3
Reading through this story has been an absolute joy. I just loved reading this final chapter, tragic as it is, because everything ties so flawlessly into Jimmy's story. Wow, this is truly a remarkable piece on Peter Pettigrew and the possible reasons why he acted the way he did.
Once again, I'm going to say that I really appreciate that you don't try to paint Peter as a good, misunderstood person (which a lot of people try to do with Snape, I've noticed haha), but that you just give him a fully rounded character with perhaps more flaws than the average person. I loved your ideas that he would immediately regret telling Voldemort, and that he would try to find a way to stop it -- but yet still not be courageous enough to admit the truth to James and Lily, and instead just steal Harry away quietly to avoid confrontation.
And here we see James and Lily live, and Neville become the Chosen One, and Alice and Frank Longbottom die, and the beginning of Dorea, and the loving relationship between Peter and Harry (or Peter and Jimmy, I should say, haha). Oh, I'm so happy I read this story, Chiara. You wrote this beautifully (and in some ways, I think reading Jimmy before Liar makes me appreciate this ending all the more).
My heart is so touched. Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing with me! <3
Oh, Eva! Thank you so, so, so much for reading through all this! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story and the way it ties into Jimmy and my interpretation of Peter's character! <3
Ahahah! Well, I think the difference between Snape and Peter is that Snape chose to side with the Order and tried to protect people, even if he probably did a poor job at it... and with his abusive childhood and the way he was bullied at school, I can see why people would sympathize... (why am I debating Snape, now?) Anyway, yes, I never meant to make Peter good, but I did want to make him real and at least to an extent relatable. And well, that's how I'd imagined the premise to Jimmy in the first place, Peter wanting to remedy to his betrayal and taking Harry to save the Potters while still avoiding confrontation.
And yes, this epilogue is really just setting the bases for Jimmy... :P I'm glad you liked how it all ties in and that reading Jimmy first made you appreciate the ending more! I'm not exactly sure which story should be read first, but I guess in my head Jimmy should be read before Liar (except Jimmy still needs to be finished, and I'm doing a pretty poor job at it...)
Thank you so, so, so much! It was a pleasure sharing my writing with you and I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and stick with me till the end!
Love you so much,
CHIARA WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL.
From the first word of this chapter, I knew it was going to be a painful one. You have the most brilliant ideas and headcanons about Peter, so I knew that you would depict his betrayal of the Order perfectly, but I didn't know it would be so painful, oh my goodness. I'll be the first to admit that I don't like Peter as a person, that he was cowardly and selfish in a time when his friends needed him the most, and what I appreciate about your depiction of him is that you don't make excuses for him, but you do make us understand his way of thinking a little better. It doesn't make it right at all, but we understand him, at least.
Okay, I loved the progression of the first scene, how Peter at first was stubbornly refusing to join, but as the torture wore him down, he weakened. Obviously the threats of hurting his friends and family (Remus in particular) made him worried about resisting even more than that, but the moment that truly broke him for me was right as Alistair was about to recite the Killing Curse. I thought you did a remarkable job with Peter here -- yes, he did care about his friends, but in the end, it was self-preservation that led him to rat them out.
I thought it was so tragic the way you added that scene between Remus and Sirius. We see a little bit of this in the Prisoner of Azkaban, too, where Remus obviously suspected Sirius at one point of being the spy. Here we see the reverse, where Sirius is so furious with Remus that he's just being a complete jerk about nothing. I can understand why both are frustrated, tense, and worried, though, and in the end, it's just so saddening to think that it's Peter doing all the real nasty work, and these two are fighting over nothing. Poor Remus, too, being targeted like that.
And what Peter did to Dorcas?? Ugh, goodness. I can't even begin to express my disgust with him. The amount of jealousy and petty loathing that went into his decision to sacrifice Dorcas is just nauseating and so, so self-serving, I can't even stand to think about it right now. Obviously Peter is weak-stomached (with perhaps the tiniest bit of conscience left in him) because right after Dorcas was murdered, he vomited, but I'm so, so disappointed in him. What he did to Dorcas was truly terrifying. (And right afterwards, he went to Remus and slept with him, and just. Peter. This is perhaps the worst thing you've done, behind betraying Lily and James.)
Then there's the ending. I see Peter's guilt upon betraying his friends, but the thought process that led up to his betrayal is just a complete sight to behold. He even considered just telling James and Lily that he didn't want to be the Secret Keeper, and he knew that would keep them safe, BUT HE WENT AND AGREED TO BE THE SECRET KEEPER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY TOLD VOLDEMORT. PETER.
I have no words. You handled this chapter just marvelously. I'm going to go immediately to the next chapter now, which is the last one omg! <3
Erm... I'm sorry? This chapter killed me as well, if that makes you feel any better... :(
No, Peter is not a good person, but a person nonetheless, and a bit more complex than what is normally shown... and I'm glad that you could understand him, even if you don't really like him (which I don't blame you at all for).
I'm glad you liked that first scene and Peter breaking down little by little. Yes, it was the prospect of death that definitely broke him.
In PoA is mentioned how Sirius didn't tell Remus about the switch because he thought he was the spy. I've always had this headcanon that most of the Order would suspect Remus just because of lycanthropy, which is quite sad, yes... and yes, Sirius being Sirius, he would make a big scene out of it, and of course Remus doesn't deserve it at all... at least they'll make up...
And yes, Dorcas... :( That was definitely the most awful and horrifying thing Peter has ever done... in all fairness, it was Remus who went to Peter... but yes, I know what you mean, that was absolutely unbecoming (not sure if this is the right adjective... surely it isn't strong enough, but I can't think of anything better...)
That was pretty twisted, wasn't it? I think by that point he thought himself beyond redemption, so why bother doing the right thing and renounce "personal glory"? Pretty twisted, yeah, but you know... (did I say pretty twisted already?)
Thank you so much for the wonderful review, as always!
Hi Chiara! <3
Before I get started, I just wanted to mention that I really love the way you move through the years with this story. Like, before I started, I was wondering how you would be able to write beginning from their childhood all the way to Peter's betrayal without rushing things, but you've managed to pace the story super well! I haven't felt rushed through the storyline at all, which is really great.
Okay, a lot happened this chapter. (Though can I say first how much I love your Mad-Eye Moody? He's hilarious and grouchy and tough, and his constant scolding of James and Sirius was absolutely hilarious.) When Mad-Eye Moody sent the recruits out, and they were caught in a sudden battle, I was just thinking, "Peter's...probably not going to do so well here." And yeah. Honestly, I really, really don't blame Peter. Suddenly getting caught in the midst of a frightening battle would scare anybody. But I also understand Sirius's point of view, too, like -- why is Peter here, if he's not going to be able to fight?
However, I think that Peter getting angry at Remus for standing up for him was incredibly out of line. I'm seeing a gradual sort of deterioration in Peter's personality. While he was charming and sweet as a younger boy, he seems bitter and angry more and more, especially at Lily and James's wedding. Sometimes I wonder if he even really cares about his friends all that much, except for Remus, because he rarely seems to show true joy for them when they're happy? Like, why isn't he feeling happy for Lily and James? Peter is that type of character that just makes me feel really sad, haha. :P
Also, that conversation between Remus and Leander was slightly awkward but also pretty enlightening. I don't know if I totally agree with Leander's thoughts that he's not harming anyone by doing his job, and that things would be worse if he tried to disobey the rules. I think that Leander definitely could be trying harder to not enforce the rules against werewolves, because really, in situations like this, people who are just "following the rules" are usually causing the most harm. And Remus, my dear boy, please please please don't keep isolating yourself from your loved ones like this. Don't make me sad, please. :(
AND THAT ENDING OMG. Is this where it all begins? Where Peter is so overcome by his cowardice that he accepts the invitation to join the Death Eaters? ALKSJGLDKJSG.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT COMES NEXT.
Hi, Eva! :P Snowball hug!
I'm glad the pacing was good, despite this story spanning through many years and events... I'm really happy that worked! :)
Ahahah! I love Moody! He's so... moody? :P I'm sure James and Sirius would have driven him crazy, ahahah! :P
No, poor Peter didn't do very well in battle... and no, he can't really be blame... he had a literal panic attack and that's not something you can exactly control, can you? And I suppose it is something that can totally happen to anybody in such a situation... but yeah, Sirius has a point, even if he was definitely too harsh about it...
Yes, Peter is getting more and more bitter and resentful... but that's just how he works? He hates to be considered weak, which is why he gets so angry at Remus... and he does care for his friends, but he's just too focused on everything he doesn't have at the moment... envy is a very bad thing... :(
Leander could definitely have a much more tolerant approach and try to actually make things better... but I believe he's doing what he thinks is best. But yes, poor Remus, he doesn't deserve to be treated the way he is... :( And yes, he shouldn't keep isolating himself... Silly boy... :(
Once again, you already know what's going to happen? :P
Thank you for another wonderful review!