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Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 21 Jun 2017 09:05 PM · Chapter: Epilogue: the truth about Jimmy Portman

The last chapter!! Ahh, I can't believe this wonderful story is over. But I think I was only partway through Jimmy Portman so now I'm even more excited to finish it now that I know the background!

Anyway, back to this chapter. I loved the way you made such a major twist in canon in an entirely believable way. If Peter were to do anything differently from his actions in the books, I think it wouldn't be not selling out the Potters, but it would be some sort of damage control in an indirect way, and that's exactly what you have here and it makes a lot of sense. The way you've characterized Peter throughout the whole story supports his actions here - he's never been the sort of person to run headlong into anything, rather, to change things from the safety and anonymity of the shadows he's used to occupying.

Your characterization of Peter is one of the best I've ever read, and while I don't really like him, at times I can sympathize with him and relate to him, and making a reader feel that about such a universally disliked character is impressive.

His relationship with Remus was my favourite part of the story overall, because it's a ship I've never seen anywhere else (100 gold stars for originality) and because it really makes sense - James and Sirius were best friends and closest to each other out of the four, so it's understandable that Remus and Peter would be close too, not to mention that they're the quieter of the four Marauders. But ultimately their personalities were incompatible in a romantic relationship - Remus is too self-deprecating and Peter isn't strong enough to handle it - but there's still something there, some leftover feelings that lasted through a lot of heartbreak and other lovers and even if they don't get back together in a romantic sense, there's a definite sense of hope that things will be okay between them and that the love will always be there.

The scene with Silvia and Mary was so heartbreaking as she realizes what Peter has done. That must be so hard to come to terms with, especially as Peter is her only child. And the scene with James and Lily was so sad as well, with Lily being pregnant again right after losing Harry, I can see how she doesn't feel ready and her anxiety that the new baby will be just a replacement is so sad, but makes so much sense right after what she and James have been through.

The lines during Sirius and Remus' discussion about how it was easier for Sirius to distrust a werewolf because everyone else did, and how Sirius should have trusted Remus - those were such poignant lines and ouch, there's a lot of hurt there and unintentional discrimination, which is so hurtful because they're best friends and I think Sirius is uncomfortable confronting that about himself which is why he tries to gloss over with humor. I am glad he owned up to it and apologized though, even if he deflects his feelings with jokes. But as hard as this scene was, it was really nice to think that they were able to reconcile without Sirius sitting in prison for 13 years for something he didn't do while Remus thought Sirius was a murderer. But... poor Alice and Frank :'(

Thank you for writing this amazing story! I've enjoyed every word of it, and you are so talented.

♥♥♥♥,
Kristin



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 20 Jun 2017 12:22 PM · Chapter: Epilogue: the truth about Jimmy Portman

CHIARA ♥ ♥ ♥

Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing this amazing story! It's one of my top favourites on this site, and I've enjoyed being a part of the journey every step of the way.

I love how you've tied it in to Jimmy, and if I hadn't already starting reading Jimmy I would definitely be right over there to see what happens next. So I think you've done a really good job in merging the two stories, and it's really impressive how close to canon you kept it.

I love (well, it made me very sad too) how you swapped James and Lily's demise for Frank and Alice's - you've warped canon and I think it works really well.

The scene with Peter and baby Harry is actually so cute. And Lily is pregnant again, ahhh! 

I love the scene between Silvia and Mary, even though it breaks my heart. I love that we get to see more reactions over Peter from different viewpoints, especially from someone so close to him.

I'm so glad Remus and Sirius made up. But poor Remus still having feelings for Peter :( I must say though, I do prefer this reality where James is still alive :P

And I just LOVE the last line. I think it actually sounds quite ominous, and I can't wait to see what happens if they really do meet again.

Congratulations again, Chi. I'm so proud of you and so grateful that you wrote this story that I love so much! And I'm so happy to have been a part in it.

All my love 

B ♥ ♥ ♥    



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2017 09:37 PM · Chapter: Traitors (November 1979 - October 1981)

Chiara. I'm so sorry it's taken so long! It's been a whirlwind of a few days and now I finally have a second to myself... in the airport :p So I'm sorry for any typos and for not being able to leave a very long/thorough review as I'm writing this on my phone!

 

OKAY SO. This is absolutely the best chapter so far. Honestly, I think it's the best chapter you've ever written. The content of this chapter breaks my heart in so many ways, but it's so powerful and effective storytelling and it's a perfect example of what I was telling you the other day on twitter, that you're an incredibly talented writer. 

 

A lot of things that have come up in the story so far start to tie together here, just as they're all falling apart for the characters. My heart breaks for every single character here - James for finding out his family is targeted, Sirius for being the most loyal person ever and finding out someone has repaid that with selling out Order secrets, Remus for losing Dorcas right after she reaffirmed how she was going to stick with him and made him feel more human as he does this emotionally difficult task with the werewolves, and Peter... ah. I simultaneosly feel sorry for him and hate him because in the end he did choose, he had a choice, and he made selfish decisions that sold out other people. But a lot of that bad decision making stemmed from feeling like an outsider among his friends, and from the fallout with his best friend/ex. But what he did to Dorcas is inexcusable. I hope he felt horrible for that. But I love that so much of this chapter is from Peter's pov because he's definitely in the most dificult place of all of them and has the most internal struggle (even if he did put himself there to begin with) and you did such a wonderful job delving into his motivations and why and how he did what he did, in a way that explains everything.

 

This was so good. You should be proud. Amazing work, as usual! ♥ ♥



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2017 11:49 AM · Chapter: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Transfrerred from HPFF

 

Hi! I came as a jailbreaker for Abbie at CTF Round 2

 

This story began with Peter’s kid days. I’ve never encountered such a story. There are lots of mother’s love and I smiled at Peter’s play a flying phoenix. Ouch, Peter, you got an injury. Everyone does have some injuries in one’s kid days.

 

Reading him cry hard, I sensed his timidity. I know kids cry when they got an injury, but I sensed that you put the episode intentionally to connect his future situation, is that right?

 

Oh, was Peter’s mother from House of Yaxley? I wondered the name influenced Peter’s future choice. And you set Remus there. Hmm, an interesting plot. They had already known each other before going to Hogwarts. It’s a heartwarming scene that they built a sand Hogwarts together.

 

Another heartwarming scene. Remus and his father would make a swing using an apple tree. I remembered my younger days. I used to climb a tree with my friends.

 

Oh, no. Remus didn’t feel good. Does that mean he had already been bitten by a werewolf? Was that before full moon or after that? Oh, I was sure. He had to be in there alone. Then the full moon was coming. Oh, my guess was right. So sad for his parents, especially for his mother who spent longer time with him than his father. I’ve never read Lycanthropy themed story from his mother’s POV. It’s brilliant!

 

You gave a chance to Peter for his bravery. I was very amazed by the episode which made him Gryffindor. So sad most of Lupin’s friend bullied him after he confessed them what he was. I guess Peter was the first person who knew Lupin and understood him in your story. And I love your descriptions about Peter's tiny reaction in detail here and there.Your writing is full of affection towards each character. It’s a great start with the story!



Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 08:52 AM · Chapter: Lovers (July 1975 - February 1976)

Hey there, back again! Sorry it's been a while but I'm very excited to read it again! :)

Aww, cute responsible Remus worrying about what his friends would think. You'd think that with his friends accepting him as a werewolf then they'd be okay with him being a Prefect... But I guess he's not the Remus we love without a bit of worrying!

Ooooh, things are getting interesting. Well, a bit of thinking but it's a start! I'm actually quite excited to see what happens between them now. That's a really cute scene between Remus and his father, I love the advice he gives him. Sounds like a smart guy (guessing Remus totally inherited those genes). Although you've BROKE MY HEART- "So a person affected by lycantrophy doesn't have the right to love and be loved". I'm glad his dad tried to get him to see it's ridiculous but the fact that he grows up thinking that is heartbreaking!

OMG, Peter is jealous?! I hope this is true, because that would be so cute for Remus but I guess I'll have to wait and see. That whole scene though, it just screams Peter like Remus!

Aha, I think Remis should have been worried less about what his friends would think about him being prefect and more about how he was going to keep them in line! Although it's interesting seeing them come up with the idea for the map/what they had to do to find out stuff. Wow, well that took a turn for the depressing. Oh no, I hope she's okay!

Ergh, can I just despise Regulus? How is he even related to Sirius? I love how you portray their relationship though, because he is still his brother so it's not going to be easy to just forget about him and let him get on with joining the dark side. 

Omg this is going to be a long story if these two keep this up! :P Jeez, I wish they'd just get on with it! (Okay so I wrote that before reading on, clearly!) OH MY WORD!! I don't know weather to be really pleased or sit here and sob because he thinks he doesn't like him! Oh what has he done! I hope Remus fixes it, and quickly! 

Aww, poor Remus! That does sound awfully confusing, makes me glad it's not me having to figure that one out. Lol, Sirius isn't as good as giving advice as Remus' dad is he. I'm glad it kind of helped, and that he saw a bit of sense being loved as well.

Aha, well that's one way to do it, shout ‘I love you' down a corridor. Well done Remus haha. Aww, I'm so glad they worked it out though! Yay for them! (I'm going to ignore the bit about Dorcas for now because they're finally happy :P)

Another great chapter, although I'm scared to move on to the next one because it's called heartbreakers and that just can't be good D:

- Shaza    



Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 08:51 AM · Chapter: Marauders (December 1971 - April 1975)

Hey, figured I'd carry on since I really want to know what happens next! And hitting the Hufflepuff review tag while I'm here :P

Aw, the letter is such a sweet touch! Poor Lupin, it must be hard to know that the two people he can talk freely about everything to are only accessible by a letter. Although YES! So glad to see he hates lying to Peter, hopefully the truth comes out soon. It's so strange to read about how he doesn't trust James and Sirius though, it's an interesting twist and it makes this even more intriguing. I think I use that word too much when reviewing this story but I just always have questions and always want to read on! Hmm, I hope they were just being nice and that Remus' wolf sense is off, although I'm wondering if that's going to be some sort of plot twist! 

Oooh, I was so confused but I see now! Wow, well I guess someone had to put them in their place and with Remus' temperament at the full moon it makes sense that it's him. Hahaha, Lockhart! Omg, I love that mention. Aww, well that was unexpected but I'm glad they seem to be friends now, and that Remus is feeling a little more trustful.

Oooh, this is getting tense! Omg, I can't believe they figured it out although I like that it was Sirius, was a nice touch as I think out of all three of them he'd be the one to make that connection with the once a month/full moon. Oh no, I hope Peter is nice to him, at least James and Sirius seem to want to be nice. Although I hope they do ask him because I don't know if Peter is going to be able to keep it a secret and if he blurts it out that would be a nightmare. Aha, I love that little slip of the "You can't be serious..I'm not you are." Aha, that pun never gets old!

Aww, they told him? Yes they did! Omg, this makes me so happy! YAY!! I love how you've written this, like it's honestly perfection! Look at Lily being all protective of Remus, and just immediately calling out James. Your writing is just filled with little details that make the characters so real and it's just so good! 

Oh, so I'm guessing they've started discussing becoming animagus? Bless them, and in third year! Well they're loyalty can't be faulted.Although I can see both points of view because Remus knows it's dangerous and obviously doesn't want to put the first friends who've accepted him in danger but likewise, they don't want to leave him in danger of himself. I love how you've written this just using dialogue as well, it really emphasises the conversation and just how stubborn both sides are being! 

Ahahaha, yay a prank! How funny, and how clever of you to think up those rhymes! I'm so impressed, I couldn't even rhyme 2 lines never mind a paragraph of my story. I love the prank and the idea that McGonagall gave them the idea to be called the marauders. I had no idea it actually meant something so that's really cool!

Oh my word, that last paragraph! Reduce me to pieces, break my heart, it's fine! :P No, but seriously you've got across how Remus must have felt when he realised his friends could transform and spend the full moon with him. It must have been so life-changing and amazing and he must have been so happy! Aww, I'm so glad it all worked out for them! 

Well this was longer than I thought, I apologise if it's all ramble but I'm loving this story! Looking forward to reading the next chapter!

-Shaza :)    



Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 08:50 AM · Chapter: Gryffindors (September 1971 - November 1971)

Hey there! :D

Aww, well doesn't that bring back awful memories of the first day of school and everyone being so much taller and more grown up than you! Poor Peter, it must have been hard enough and then he bumped into family who don't seem to nice and he didn't even know he had. The stark contrast between Remus and Peter's experience on the train is a nice touch because while Peter does get brought into a compartment with family, albit they don't seem to nice, Lupin finds himself in a compartment with two people he doesn't know and it sounds like he spends it by himself. 

Wow, Slytherin? I love that you made the hat dither and then eventually listen to Peter as to where he goes. I can see how it would make sense with some of what you've shown about him especially in the first chapter. It really makes him feel more complex and shows another side than just the typical brave Gryffindor side. 

Aww, this story really does make you feel sorry for Peter! He must have been so hurt and upset at being left by Remus but I'm glad he was willing to make friends with him again. Even if it is with a rather big lie between them. 

Your observations are amazing! I love the little extra details and depth they give to the story. Although kind of makes me want to strangle Remus, haha! I hope Peter finds out soon, I feel like this secrecy can only go on for so long! Aww, no! See this is why Remus needs to tell! I hope they make back up. I mean I can understand why Remus doesn't want to tell but it's so frustrating haha! 

Oooh, I wonder if Peter will just work it out by logic! Ben missing 3 times in 3 months....although I suppose that's only obvious to me because I know! Good on him for getting the courage to speak to James and Sirius! I hope this is the start of a beautiful friendship between the three(four) of them! Although now I'm curious how Remus will react when he knows Peter has been with them? 

Another fab chapter, this is such an intriguing story!

-Shaza :)    



Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 08:49 AM · Chapter: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Hey Ciara,  I'm just transferring some reviews over from HPFT :)

Hey Chiara, here for the Hufflepuff review swap! 

I don't think I've actually read a story focused on Peter as the main character before so I'm excited to read this and see how you portray him!

I love how you set the chapter up, Peter's mum actually makes me think Peter could have turned out quite shy as she seems quite overprotective. Although I suppose most mothers wouldn't want their child to be in pain. And you make Peter sound like such a cute child, it's strange to imagine him as the one who betrayed Lily and James but I guess at this point he isn't.

Aww no, I think you've just broke my heart! Poor Remus, having to transform all by himself when he's so young. He must have been so scared, especially for the first time. Again I love the motherly love you show with Silvia staying outside all night. 

And things just get worse. Kids can be so mean, and I definitely think that's an important part to show. Makes the idea of him being a marauder so much sweeter. And I love how Peter tries to stand up for Remus even though he doesn't know what's going on. With what he does when he's older it's easy to forget he was a Gryffindor and I think him sticking up for Remus shows that perfectly! 

Now I feel sorry for Peter, which isn't something I ever thought I would! Remus was rather mean to him (although I get why) but now he's just left him! That must have hurt, especially being so young and he doesn't even know why. I'm glad something made him smile, even if only a little one. It's his birthday and he deserved that! 

Oh, leaving for Hogwarts must have been a terrifying time for Remus and I think you've done a great job in showing that! He has to leave the two people he was closest too, and the two people who know and accept his condition and now he's going to have to live with others his own age. And after what other people his age have done to him, no wonder he's scared.

This was a great start to what seems like it's going to be an interesting story! I'm going to have to come back and read on! 

- Shaza :)    

 



Name: poppunkpadfoot (Signed) · Date: 30 May 2017 05:26 AM · Chapter: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Hi, here for our swap! Sorry this is a bit belated!

 

I think this is really unique because I don't think I've ever seen a fic before where Peter and Remus were friends before going to Hogwarts. I actually think that would make for a super interesting Marauders dynamic, because as it stands in canon/fanon you have James and Sirius who are completely attached at the hip, and then Peter and Remus, who obviously the other two care about but not on the same level, and who don't have that sort of special relationship with each other. So I think that giving Remus and Peter a pre-Hogwarts friendship could possibly help even that dynamic out a bit.

 

Also, Peter/Remus is really a relationship I've never considered before. Obviously it doesn't really come into play in this first chapter, as they're children, but I figured it was worth commenting on as it's a pretty rare pairing and that adds to the uniqueness.

 

I can definitely say that I've never read a story where anybody knows about Remus's lycanthropy besides the Marauders and the Hogwarts staff. To be completely honest, it did give me pause - why wouldn't the kids who'd found out tell everybody? - but maybe that will be explained in another chapter? It was really interesting to see Peter come to Remus's rescue like that - so different from how he came to be later in life. But I suppose he started out brave, to be put in Gryffindor.

 

I think you did a very good job of writing Peter and Remus as realistic children. There really wasn't any point where I thought that anything seemed to mature or too immature. An especially sweet moment was when they wanted to build a swing together and were raring to get started, even though they didn't really know how to do it. I can remember getting up to similar antics with my cousins as a kid :') And I really liked how the swing kept coming up, and you had that scene with Peter sitting on the swing after Remus had moved away.

 

This was a really successful first chapter, in my opinion, because it really left me wondering how this dynamic was going to continue to play out and what would be the same or different from other fics I've read.

 

Great work! And thanks for the swap! :D

 

-Kayla



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 24 May 2017 11:54 AM · Chapter: Fighters (September 1978 - November 1979)

CHIARAAA! I hope you're having a wonderful afternoon, little one *snuggles*

I already gushed over this chapter but here's some more ;) just less emojis (unfortunately)

Okay okay okay, so I'm loooving all of the Order of the Phoenix things, even though it makes me sad because I know we're kind of reaching the end, and it's not a happy one :( Moody is so amazing, you've written him so well, and the line about him making grocery shopping sound dangerous is hilarious and so true! Also I love the mention of Frank Longbottom!

So having Alice and Lily announce their pregnancies is gorgeous and adorable, and mentioning the photo that Sirius shows Harry later is just beautiful. It was a tiny detail to remember to include but it makes all the difference, especially when you've written the context.

But now we turn sad because of Remus :( it's awful how difficult his life is, but I'm glad he has Dorcas to lean on. And making that such a stark contrast to Peter's lonliness is really powerful. Again, I feel so sorry for Peter but it's amazing to watch his downfall because you write it so incredibly and it's so realistic. AND WHO IS AT THE END?! I still think maybe Yaxley? A Death Eater, at any rate. Gah!

Wonderful work, little Chi! Love you! <3



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 24 May 2017 12:21 AM · Chapter: Fighters (September 1978 - November 1979)

The library is about to close so I can't leave a very long review, I'm sorry :( But I had to pounce on this as soon as I could after I saw it was posted!

Mad-Eye would’ve made grocery shopping sound dangerous. -- YES HE WOULD HAVE hahaha this is so funny.

Aww :( I mean I get that Peter can speak for himself, but Remus was only trying to help. Then again, that's probably a sore spot for Peter who's probably been talked over for his whole life. :-/

That must take so much for Remus to be able to face that kind of life, especially since he's been shunning the side of him that's a werewolf for so long, trying so hard to be 'normal', that facing the dark side of that, so to speak, and actually living with a colony of werewolves including the one who turned him, must be so hard emotionally. I'm glad he has Dorcas to lean on at least.

AND HE HAS TO DEAL WITH JERKS LIKE LEANDER. Omg, can I punch him please

Okay, I get that Leander's job puts him in a tough position but STILL. he can be less of a jerk.

Aw, Mary. It must be kind of bittersweet for her to see Lily so happy and getting married... to someone else. But the moment with her and Peter was really sweet as they learned that they have something in common.

THE CLIFF HANGER OMG IS THAT VOLDEMORT OR A DEATH EATER. HELP.

This was a great chapter and I loved it so much and I love you so much and you are amazing. Also, you are an amazing writer. Library is closing so I have to go! ♥ ♥ ♥



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 20 May 2017 08:30 PM · Chapter: Lovers (July 1975 - February 1976)

Hello my lovely Chiara!

I meant to stop by here earlier today, but got carried away with other things. Wow, this chapter! There's so much going on but it is easy to follow and oh, we get a little bit of Remus and Peter action! There are some amazing, lovely things happening in here, but also the beginnings of dark, twisted journeys for some. I love the interactons between Remus and his father, Sirius and Regulus, and the beautifully-written confusion Remus experiences regarding his feelings for Peter and Dorcas.

Heh! I didn't envy Remus's appointment as prefect; what would Sirius and James have to say on the matter? As expected, they took the mickey out of poor Remus. I would not have wanted to be in his shoes, having to manage his best friends whilst they did all sorts to pull favours and make his prefectual life difficult? Not on purpose, but I bet they did!

It must have been a nasty moment for John when Remus asked who Greyback was. How could he possibly tell his son the truth? An unpleasant situation for him to be in, but I thought he handled his son's confused feelings for Peter very well. I guess having a werewolf for a son means that he's learned how to be an accepting kind of guy if he wasn't already, right?

The spat between the Black brothers was quite painful to read, as I have quite the soft spot for Regulus (despite what I sort of put him through), and it marks the unhappy start of his descent into the dark world. I wonder even then whether he had reservations about the whole thing?

The set-up of the Marauders Map was hilarious "Walk less loudly"!! Everything sounds much louder when you're trying to creep around in the dark, doesn't it?!

Sirius is surprisingly thoughtful towards Remus when he confesses how he feels about Dorcas and Peter, and his confusion. I expected him to be much more cut-throat. I guess when the chips are down, he can be considerate :) And OOOOF!! WHAT an ending, with Peter and Remus kissing? I mean, technically, they kissed earlier in the chapter, but not with as much meaning behind it as they have now!

Another fantastic chapter, and you've kept me on the edge of my seat, broken my heart a little bit with Regulus, and made me laugh with some of the antics :) Looking forward to reading the next chapter!

Much love,

Brax X



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 17 May 2017 09:05 AM · Chapter: Marauders (December 1971 - April 1975)

Hello, Chiara!

I'm loving this story the more I delve into it. It really is beautifully and brilliantly written! I love how this chapter takes us from Remus not really wanting to have anything to do with James or Sirius, to the transformation of the marauders and the happiness of the wolf.

I'm not surprised at Remus hating the fact that he's covered up the truth about his lycanthropy from his friend. It must have really hurt him to do so, especially as he'd already (inadvertently) burned Peter once by abandoning him. He's clearly torn between the pain of secrecy and the horror of the unknown - what if everyone treats him as a monster if they find out? Poor Remus :( I love how Peter shows care and concern for his friend; it's a side not at all explored in canon, and I'm so glad for poor Peter's sake that he has good attributes! I REALLY love that you've developed Peter's character so well and given him such depth - he is such a complex person who is easy to ignore or treat as though he is two-dimensional.

After Remus has crossed James by calling him a coward, I love the little segments of the wolf that come through in the dormitory conversation, even if it is currently barking messages of suspicion! As the full moon is so close, it seems pertinent that the wolf's voice would resonate. It's beautifully shown here.

I love the conversation pertaining to the realisation that Remus is a werewolf! It's brilliantly written and made me giggle, especially the line "Hey, Remus, do you, perchance, transform into a huge, furry monster once a month?" Ha!! When they eventually confront Remus and he takes it badly initially, unfortunately running into Severus and Lily whilst looking for somewhere quiet to be alone, it made me laugh how Lily automatically assumed Potter was to blame for Remus's distress as soon as he showed up. When they have the conversation regarding animal transformations, I did wonder, at first, whether Remus thought they were willing to become werewolves for him, before it was revealed what they had in mind?! That would have been awkward for everyone, just imagine - "uh, no, we don't love you quite enough to become werewolves in your honour, but here's what we can offer instead" - maybe? Or maybe not. lol.

OMG, the chess set story! ALL the feels! That's just - ohh - adorable <3

But the genius, stand-out part of this chapter for me, was the Poetry Draught raining down in the Great Hall. All those fantastic lines. McGonagall talking in rhyme?! OMG, I was CRYING with laughter!! Just brilliant!!

I so, so loved this chapter! Superb :)

Brax X



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 16 May 2017 07:25 PM · Chapter: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Chiara!  I'm here for our review swap :)

 

I'm really glad that you suggested I read this story for the swap, I've been wanting to read it since you mentioned to me about this story, because it seems like such an intriguing premise, and I really enjoyed this first chapter!

 

It's so, so unusual to get to read a story about Peter!  I have to admit that I'm not his biggest fan - certainly when it comes to the fact that he chose to betray his friends and then, when he had the chance to put everything right, he sought to save his own skin.  Anyway, I love the fact that you've chosen to focus on Peter and really explore his character here, as well as the way that he fits into the Marauders.

 

I loved the fact that you chose to start this story in childhood for both Peter and Remus.  I think it was a great way to actually get your readers to engage with the characters, because - especially when it comes to Peter - it makes us much more sympathetic towarsd them and we see their innocence and youth.  This chapter actually made me like Peter (I already loved Remus haha) which is so unusual and I think a great testament to your writing.

 

The way that you grew the relationship between the two boys was so lovely to read, from that first chance meeting in the park when the two boys decided to play together, to the way that they became best friends and played together so often.  It seemed so natural for them to be good friends at this age, even though I've never really imagined any of the Marauders knowing each other before Hogwarts.  

 

You wrote the scene when Remus had just been bitten and became so withdrawn so well.  I felt so sorry for both of them - for the way that Remus felt at having just been infected with lycanthropy and for Peter losing his best friend because of it without really understanding.

 

Oh my goodness, it was so heartbreaking to read the later scenes in this chapter, when Remus was transforming into a werewolf and had to try and prepare alone - just a child - for the transformation and move away from his friends and the life that he knew.  It was lovely to think that they're going to be reunited at Hogwarts and at least enjoy some more happiness with that final scene of the chapter!

 

Sian :)



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 14 May 2017 11:22 AM · Chapter: Gryffindors (September 1971 - November 1971)

Hello, Chiara! I'm back for today's installment of "Liar"! I LOVED the first chapter, so I really looked forward to reading this one and catching up with what the marauders were up to.

I loved the section in the Hogwarts Express, where Peter is (reluctantly) introduced to his cousin, Alistair, who seems a rather dubious young man, as do his friends. It sets an early reason for Peter to have an association with the dark side, yet it's really seamlessly and convincingly written. I wonder whether Peter's cousin will play a role later in convincing Peter to turn to the Dark Lord (assuming you stick to canon? No complaints if you don't - I'll enjoy seeing where this story takes us).

The sorting hat scene was also something that I could imagine quite easily - and REmus being in Gryffindor gives Peter a perfect excuse to beg for that house (I struggle to see why else the hat would have put him there, TBH; his personal preference MUST have payed a part), so that was well-reasoned. I felt really sorry for Remus when Peter gave him a bit of a hard time initially at the feast, but they soon forgive each other.


The concept of Peter as an observer is also brilliant. It's a trait which fits him very well with what we know of him from canon. I like how he notices detail. It's a really nice touch. And he's starting to notice and observe things about Remus. It won't be long before he cottons onto Remus's secret, surely? BTW, David Gudgeon - is that a shout-out to Gladys (of Lockheart fan-letter fame)? :)


The last paragraph with Peter showing us his bold side and attempting to make friends with James and Sirius fills another gap form canon, and it's easily believable too.

I love love love the characters that are starting to develop in this story; how you've stayed faithful to their canon selves but have introduced little traits which complement what we already know abouot the boys is brilliantly executed, and I can't wait to read more! I'll be back to your AP and this story soon!

Brax X



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 12 May 2017 07:27 AM · Chapter: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Hello, Chiara! I thought it was about time I visited your AP to lavish your stories with some love :) As this one is a FROGS nominee in the Best Marauder category, I thought I'd start here.

This was a brilliant first chapter! The balance between exposition and dialogue has been struck well. You successfully introduced quite a number of characters here without it feeling crowded or forced, and their interactions flowed very naturally. And PETER!! Finally, Peter gets some recognition in FanFiction! This is like a momentous occasion for me; okay, I admit, I'm not a huge fan of how he behaves in canon, but he is so largely ignored in Marauder fics that it makes your story all the more refreshing to read. The conversations feel very age-appropriate; I can easily picture Remus and Peter as two young boys here. That's not an easy thing to do at all; it's quite difficult to get children's voices to sound "right" and I think you have done an excellent job with this aspect.

I felt terribly sorry for poor Remus, both when he was getting bullied by his so-called friends and then getting locked in a garage to transform. I'm not surprised he went to Hogwarts with the intention of keeping his lycanthropy tightly under wraps.

Peter's character is very interesting, because he seems a perfectly "normal" and quite kind-hearted little boy. I wonder whether there was some particular turn of events at Hogwarts to convert him to the dark side later, which you might reveal to us?

I'm quite excited to see where you are going to take us with this story, and I look forward to reading how Peter's character develops, especially. I really enjoyed this first chapter - thank you for a great read!

Brax X



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2017 11:07 PM · Chapter: Adults (August 1977 - June 1978)

You're right, I was going to get to this :D but thank you for the request! I'm so happy to see another update on this story!

Aah, not even one sentence into this chapter and already my heart is breaking for Remus for having to wear the band on his arm marking him as a werewolf, which is honestly terrifying as that's very reminiscent of Hitler's demands for Jews, and... some other politicians these days. Despite being about werewolves and magic, this story is very relevant.

OMG ALL OF THIS CHAPTER ♥ IT'S SO GOOD. I love the way the girls are sticking up for Remus and the way can see past the way the Ministry is trying to stir up fear, and instead want to help the people who get marginalized and are unfairly singled out.

OMG TOM NO

NO

This is so REAL.

Severance pay is not charity. He's gonna need that. But I also admire him for not taking anything from Tom, because ultimately it was Tom's decision to let Remus go. Tom could have fought the system, like Dorcas is doing, but he chose not to.

Omg, and then the juxtaposition of this and the next section - Remus thinks the world is screwed up because it is. Peter thinks the world is screwed up because Dumbledore picked James for Head Boy. I mean... :P it says a lot about his privilege right there.

YES REMUS STAND UP TO THE DUMB LAW. I love that he just refuses to wear the band. He's right, it would look pretty awful if the Ministry threw him in Azkaban for not wearing a bracelet.

I like that Dorcas is helping Remus move on from Peter, even if their relationship is starting off a bit weird (i.e. Remus is still in love with Peter). But if Dorcas is fine with that, then I guess they're all good. It's nice that Remus knows someone else likes him, he needs the reminder that he's worthy of being liked and appreciated.

Though I also worry that you're setting them up together because I know what happens to Dorcas eventually and Remus DOES NOT NEED THAT on top of everything else he deals with. ah, all the feels. help

omg and then right from there to Lily thinking about her parents' funeral. Too many feels. And the bit where she thinks if she'd been there she could have done something - that's so true to life, how there's that stage of grief where you believe things that don't necessarily make sense just because the grief is hard to process. Poor Lily :( And with James going through a similar thing... it's so true, grief does have a way of bringing people together.

I know Fawkes' molting isn't that common (or is it?) but part of me kind of loves the fact that both James and later Harry ended up witnessing it :)

It really says a lot for Mary that she declined, especially in front of a bunch of people who all accepted. Like, yes, it's scary to be in the Order, but it does take courage to do what she's doing, in a way.

Bravo for Remus turning the discriminatory wristband around and wearing it as a badge of honor.

This whole chapter carries a strong feeling of endings and new beginnings and all the uncertainty that come with both - and it's very appropriate given that they're finishing with school and heading into something dangerous, like there's a lot to celebrate and a lot to fear at the same time, but they just make the best of it. I really liked the tone throughout the whole thing.

CC: at one point you said 'carrier' when I think you meant 'career' (they sound really similar, but the first is a thing that carries something.. like a cat carrier)

Ok that's it, this review somehow got really long and I'm sorry for when you have to respond to it :P I loved this chapter and it was amazing and so are you. ♥ ♥ ♥



Author's Response:

Kristin!!! *wub* *wub* *wub*

 

Yes, that's horrible... I did have Hitler's racial laws in mind... To be honest, I was scared that I was pulling it too far, but I'm glad you found it believable!

 

The girls are awesome! :D

 

Poor Remus... Tom could've fought the system, but not everyone is brave and strong enough to do so...

 

Ahahah! Peter has a much lighter way of seeing things, that's for sure. :P (But you have to agree, Dumbledore's choice was quite crazy)

 

Yes! Go, Remus! That would look pretty awful, indeed.

 

Remus needs that reminder... Erm... yeah... that might not end too well... I'm sorry... (I'm just a tiny bit cruel to my characters, I know...)

 

You always wonder if you could've done anything, don't you? I still can't shake that guilt... but yes, grief does bring people together.

 

Oh, I have no idea... after you asked I googled what's a bird's life expectancy... it varies a lot from species to species, so it's hard to tell (you probably know better than I do... :P) Anyway, I'm glad you liked the idea that James and Harry had that in common.

 

I think it did require a lot of courage from Mary (a courage Peter didn't have, for instance). Glad you liked that about her.

 

That was the theme of the chapter, and I'm glad it came out well and that you liked the tone of it. We'll see how things will go from there.

 

Oh... I will fix that. In Italian is "carriera", so I guess that's why I mixed them up. Thank you for pointing it out.

 

Ahahah! No review is too long, I love your reviews! Sorry for taking so long to answer, by the way...

 

You are amazing! Thank you so, so, so much!!!

 

Snowball hug,

Chiara



Name: dreamgazer220 (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2017 08:03 PM · Chapter: Adults (August 1977 - June 1978)

Hello lovely, here with your review! 

I was excited to see that you finally posted a new chapter (although I'm not one to talk :P).  To be honest, the length made me a bit nervous, but as always with your writing, you captured my attention and kept it the whole way through.  And I always marvel over your ability to go through so much time in one chapter and have it flow so effortlessly.  

I think the politics were good here.  Poor Remus, having to wear a stupid red band to mark him as dangerous - but it makes sense, since the Ministry would have to do something to "warn people", although I'm glad that Remus' friends and Peter didn't really care or notice anything about the band. 

It's interesting that Dumbledore called them out specifically and asked them to join the Order.  I think there I would've liked a bit more context, even if it was Remus or Peter recognizing everyone's strengths about why they were chosen specifically.  Otherwise, I enjoyed that scene quite a bit and was happy to see that Peter hesitated. You make me forget that he's the reason that James and Lily are dead, but then you did little things like that to remind me/us of his true character, and it's really well done here. 

Aww, Dorcas and Remus! That's cute. I'm glad he found someone, even if it wasn't Peter.  And I enjoyed how nonchalant they both were abotu the whole thing, but Dorcas has always been there for Remus, and she obviously holds no judgmenet, so it made sense for them.

And James being nice! And being with Lily! I would've liked to see a bit more how they got together, but I know that this is focused more on Remus and Peter, so I'm content with that library scene. :P 

Through it all, there's always Remus and Peter.  I'm glad that they had some moments alone and even if it was uncomfortable, they still managed to be around each other.  There's hope for them yet! 

Another fantastic chapter, darling! I really do love this story. <3 



Author's Response:

Jill!!!
Thank you so much for the review, and sorry if I'm answering so late...

Ahahah! We are all slow writers... I'm a bit stuck with the next chapter, hopefully it won't take too long... And yes, I know, these chapters get always longer. Not my fault, there's always so much to include... I'm glad it read well nonetheless! :)

Yes, the law is horrible. I'm glad you found it believable, though. I was scared I'd pulled it too far... Yes, his friends don't care, but we already knew they were special, right?

That scene would've needed more context, I agree. I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway. Peter is Peter, he wouldn't like the idea of fighting, but wouldn't step out either for fear of his friends' judgement. Glad you found him in character and liked his hesitation.

They are cute. Glad you liked them together. :) And James and Lily, too! :D *Jily 5ever*

Yes, there's always Remus and Peter. We'll see how things will go from there...

Thank you for another wonderful review! You are the best!



Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2017 02:25 AM · Chapter: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Howdy!

 

I am here, leaving it late, for holiday wishlists! While I had hoped to review this whole bad boy, I'm on a quest to hit every wishlist and sadly, life has thwarted me once more. But I will try to make it back to keep going with this fine fic!

 

So few people probe Peter's background and even fewer connect it to the one (1) or more of the other Marauders in any meaningful way though thinking about it, with James and Sirius being such a strong duo so earlier, it makes a certain degree of sense that a quartet like theirs might be forged of two (2) duos with some pre-existing history.

 

One of the true accomplishments of this chapter specifically though has to be the way that you capture Peter and Remus as children. Even in canon there are a significant number of times when the characters seem to be having dialogue or thoughts well beyond their years. Here, THEY are simpler, like natural children, even though the dynamics of the situation are so complex and the emotions quite significant as well. You definitely get additional props for not ignoring the parental side of things either and I think you got their instincts and interactions down realistically too.

 

Though this is only an introductory chapter, there's no question it's an incredibly strong start from which I can only imagine an incredibly strong story will (continue to) grow and flourish. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!



Author's Response:

Hello, Kevin!

Thank you so much for the holiday wishlist review, I'm so glad you decided to stop by! And I think it's awesome that you're trying to hit every wishlist, I really wanted to do that too, but apparently I'm not dedicated enough (or life is too hectic... or both...) Anyway, thank you for being here!

Peter is not the most loved and/or considered character but for some reason he fascinates me. This story came as a prequel to another story I'm working on, where I mentioned Peter and Remus meeting as little children, so it was really sort of an accident... :P But I guess it does make sense, with James and Sirius being so close, that Remus and Peter would be too. And I'm happy you think it does.

I love writing children, I love their semplicity and ther way of seeing things, and I'm so glad you felt I did it well. And I'm so glad you liked the parents as well and that you found everything realistic.

Aww... thank you so much! I'm so happy that you enjoyed this first chapter so much and I would be delighted to know what you think about the rest, too!

Thank you so, so, so much again! I really appreciated your feedback!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: lovegood27 (Anonymous) · Date: 18 Jan 2017 01:45 PM · Chapter: Rebels (October 1976 - June 1977)

This is such a good story! I've never seen Remus/Peter before and even if I had, I'm not sure it would be one of my favourites. However, I absolutely love how you portrayed their relationship, it made me really care for them as a couple. You painted Peter in a whole new light and gave him a personality of his own, but still kept him as the ambitious worshipping boy we knew him as in the books. 

I can completely understand Remus' actions when he broke up with Peter. It seemed like the thing he would do and was quite similar to Harry's situation when he broke up with Ginny. I was still distraught when their relationship ended because I had been so into them as a couple by then. I really hope you update soon, I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes :)



Author's Response:

Hello! And thank you so much for stopping by and giving this a try! :)

Yes, I know. Remus/Peter isn't the most common of ships (I'm still not sure where it came from) and I can imagine that it must seem weird and not something you would normally look for. I'm so glad this story made you care for them as a couple, though. It really means a lot.

I love writing Peter, he's such a complex and fascinating character, and I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of him.

I think the breakup was inevitable, their personalities just can't work together, even if they do love and care for each other a lot. I'm glad you found Remus' actions relatable and I'm so sorry if the end of their relationship made you sad (I feel so bad for my boys, too).

I haven't had much time and inspiration to write recently, but I'm hoping to write a bit tomorrow. Can't promise anything, but I'll try to update soon. :)

Thank you so much again!

Chiara



Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Dec 2016 09:48 PM · Chapter: Rebels (October 1976 - June 1977)

Hey, back again! Although I want to read it really slowly because there isn’t another chapter to go to D:

 

Ahh, those two are going to be the death of me. Why are they so cute! I’m glad they’re talking though, it’s a start. Oh dear, well I suppose best friends is better than nothing. And Peter’s right about that, Remus is so adorable!

 

NO! I really hope Leander doesn’t turn out to be a nasty piece of work (I have other words but I’d need to double check what rating a review has to be :L) Oh, I have such a bad feeling about this. How can he be showing him that place, especially after last time! Dear Peter, what ever has he gotten himself in for. At least he’s happy, I guess…

 

Oh this is interesting, seeing Sirius at home with his family. It’s weird to think of them, especially Bellatrix, sat down for a civilised Christmas meal, but I suppose it would be treated as a grand affair in a place like the Blacks. I also love how you’ve written the relationship between Sirius and Regulus, it’s almost sweet. I suppose he can’t help but want to look after his brother.

 

Aww, poor Remus. I bet he was hoping for some good news and instead he gets that. I suppose it’s a small blessing that he heard it from his dad first. I love the second part of his dad’s letter though, so I hoped that cheered him up! Aw no, his friends had such a nice surprise and he was crying, ergh, I just want to give him a hug. No one should have to cry on their birthday.

 

At least these tests don’t seem too bad, although trying to explain about Sirius probably wasn’t too much fun, almost human indeed! Aw yes! He has such great friends, honestly, I love that they’d do that for him, that’s a genius thing to include!

 

Aww, I love the idea that they’re mothers still meetup to chat, it’s rather cute and very motherly. I’m sure it’s hard to have children at this time, especially with war so close but I’m glad they managed to have a little fun.

 

Oh no, why does this visit feel like the start of the end? Bless his cotton socks for saying the apprenticeship though, and go his mum for telling them to leave! Oh wow, and now Peter! I love it! I love how you write these characters and just make them grow and develop over the years/chapters. It makes this story such a delight to read!

 

So, how much will cost to get the next chapter? *insert appropriate bribe here* I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next, especially with the war being so close!

- Shaza :)



Author's Response:

Shaza!!!

Merlin, I love your feedback! You know I love your feedback, right? *wub*

Remus is adorable (no, I totally don't have a crush on him...) Frustrating, but still adorable. I really wish they could be happy together (I don't know how Peter/Remus became my OTP, I blame my muse and my crazy mind...) but unfortunately that's not how things will go... :(

Leander is decent enough, even if I'm not sure he's the right person for Peter either. I'm actually not sure where their relationship is headed yet... And about Peter showing him the Shack... well, he's Peter...

I love to write Blacks' gatherings, they always turn out quite crazy. :P Well, this one turned out almost depressing... I've always believed that Sirius and Regulus truly cared for each other, even if they had different ideas and made different choices. I wish Regulus listened to his brother more...

Poor Remus, indeed. At least his parents and his friends care deeply for him. You can hug him, he needs it.

No, the tests weren't that bad, but the fact itself that he's forced to submit to them is awful. And yes, they are such wonderful friends, he's lucky to have them at least.

I love Silvia and Mary and I'm glad that you liked to see them together. No, having children at this time definitely isn't easy.

There is still a lot ahead for Peter, and Alistair will be back again. But for now Peter has managed to stand up for himself (sort of). I'm glad you liked the family dynamics and the characters' development for now.

The next chapter will be for free, but I need to convince my muse to collaborate... you could try to talk to her, maybe she'll listen to you? ;)

Thank you so much again for the lovely review!

Chiara



Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Dec 2016 08:18 PM · Chapter: Heartbreakers (March 1976 - October 1976)

Hey there! Happy Holidays Chiara, and I hope you have an amazing new year!


Aww, I’m glad Mary is able to enjoy time with her friends and that she’s recovering from the attack. It’s a scary time they’re living in though and I love how you’re showing it through their lives. Even with something as simple as a newspaper article.


OH MY WORD, Peter and Remus are so cute together! It’s almost been worth the wait and heartache for them to get together. :P I want to hope this lasts for ever but I have my doubts…


Anyhow, poor James. He just doesn’t know when to quit, although it’s kind of endearing. I doubt Lily thinks that though. His friends aren’t very helpful though are they, although what else could you expect from the Marauders, especially Sirius.


Ah, it’s the aftermath of that scene. Oh dear, poor Remus! You can understand why he’s taking it so bad but now I kind of feel bad for Peter too. Why do you write these characters so perfectly, if you didn’t they could just have their happy ever after. :P


Aww no, my poor heart! They were so happy half a chapter ago and now look at them, it’s just so sad. Just got to hope they work things out. I love how I feel sorry for both of them, there’s no one person in the direct wrong, they’re just both really stubborn and I hope it subsides.


Aww no, poor James! This must be hard for him, especially with the group being at war right now. That outburst though, James must have been feeling the pressure, although I’m glad that it sort of patched things up between them.


It’s so strange to imagine Peter as having actual dreams and ideas about what to do after Hogwarts had finished but I suppose he did. It’s a nice idea that he wanted to go into an apprenticeship. It’s also kind of comforting that he at least considered the idea of fighting for good and doing the right thing, it’s easy to forget that he isn’t an inherently bad person.


Wow, I’m glad Remus stood up for Snape, I’m sure it couldn’t have been easy standing up to his friends like that although I feel like there was a little personal motivation in there. I wish he wouldn’t turn Peter away though, he just want to make him happy!!


Ahh, I don’t know weather to feel happy for Peter because he’s happy and found someone, or to feel sad for Remus because he wants him back and it’s too late. Or so it looks ;) That bracelet is so cute though, I love that idea! Aha, go Sirius! At least he’s trying to help.


Aww, poor Peter that doesn’t sound like a good birthday, especially since it’s his special one as well. What an ending, poor Peter and Remus too. At least that means things can only go up from here.


I love how you’ve inserted the canon piece that we already know happened so well, and their reactions we’re just perfect!


Looking forward to reading the next chapter!


- Shaza :)



Author's Response:

Hi Shaza! :)

Yes, they're living through very dark times... yay for Mary recovering, though! :)

Well, you already know how things between them will go... but they're happy for now and yes, they are absolutely sweet together! I love my boys (even if I can be a bit cruel to them...)

Ahahah! James is a bit of an idiot, honestly... No, I don't think Lily finds it endearing (but she will change her mind). And no, they wouldn't be helpful. Like you say, they are the Marauders. :P

I truly wish they could have their happily ever after... but Remus is too afraid of hurting the people around him and Peter is too proud to just forgive him for pushing him away.

And yes, poor James. He's dealing with so much and his friends are fighting and no one is there for him. At least he managed to get them back together somehow.

My idea is that Peter wanted to be an Auror at first, more as an imitation of James and Sirius than an actual ambition, but McGonagall saw through it and suggested him the apprenticeship instead. I had actually written the scene of his orientative meeting but then I preferred to cut it off. I'm glad you liked his thoughts about it.

Happy you liked Remus standing up for Snape in the end. There was definitely personal motivation, Remus knows well what being bullied is like and especially after the Willow incident he wouldn't want his friends to cross certain lines. Yes, I know... he shouldn't turn Peter away...

Poor Remus. Then, again, it was all his doing... Sirius isn't the most helpful of people in these situations... *rolls eyes*

No, definitely not a great birthday... things didn't go too well between them, did they?

Thank you for another wonderful review!

Much love,

Chiara



Name: Rhaenyra (Signed) · Date: 18 Dec 2016 01:25 AM · Chapter: Gryffindors (September 1971 - November 1971)

Another review for you. =)

 

The meeting of Remus and Peter again was so sweet.  Peter still wanting to be friends with Remus after all these years, now that the latter feels more and more like a monster, makes me want to give the little guy a hug.

 

The Sorting Hat was interesting, as it always is.  I love to hear the reasoning about why it places students in different houses.  The conversation between it and Peter was very good.  There are a lot of people - myself included - who have questioned Peter's placement, since he doesn't seem to have upheld those brave traits after confronted by Death Eaters.  Of course, his choices as an 11-year-old are not the same as they might have been at 20 or 21.  The fact that it was his choice that helped place him in Gryffindor and that he did not fit easily in any of the houses help add realism to this.

 

I also like the early interactions between Remus and Peter and the young, more rambunctious versions of James and Sirius.  And poor Remus, off "sick" for the third time in three months.

 

- R



Author's Response:

Hi! Thank you so much for stopping here! :D

Aww... I'm glad you liked their reunion, it was sweet!

So happy you liked Peter's sorting. I think he did show bravery in certain occasions during his life, like when he decided to become an Animagus, and I've always thought that the fear of being killed was only a little part of the reason he betrayed his friends in the end. But I agree with you that he wasn't a full Gryffindor and I'm sure the Hat had a hard time placing him.

James and Sirius are always so much fun to write. Glad you liked their interactions. And yes, poor Remus...

Thank you again for stopping by!

Lots of love!

Chiara



Name: Rhaenyra (Signed) · Date: 18 Dec 2016 01:20 AM · Chapter: Children (June 1965 - September 1971)

Hello.  Dropping by for a holiday review for you.  I loved your story 1981 on the old site so of course I had to check out another Marauder story by you.

 

First of all, it makes so much sense that people would know other students before attending Hogwarts.  We've heard that there are communities where witches and wizards live in greater numbers, such as Godric's Hollow, but we have not seen another one in canon.  I have used this idea of a pre-Hogwarts friendship in my own writing, so naturally I think it is a good one.  To have the friendship between Remus and Peter strikes an interesting chord since we rarely see how Peter became part of the group other than as a default as the last boy in a Gryffindor dorm.  That is, when he is included in full at all.

 

The pain in poor young Remus is so hard to read.  I've loved his character ever since I read Prisoner of Azkaban just after turning 9 (so 16 years ago!) and you write him very well.  The pain he feels about being a monster is very touching.  The fact that Peter doesn't quite get all of it as a kid fits in with his charaterization a bit, but the fact that he also doesn't think of his friend as a monster is fitting with his later actions.

 

Peter's mom being a Yaxley is a great plot twist.  That's one more road that could lead to his later decisions.

 

Great start! =)

 

- R



Author's Response:

Hi, Rhaenyra! *hug*

I'm so glad you decided to stop by and get a look to this story since it's my favourite at the moment. :D

I had never really thought about a pre-Hogwarts friendship (especially not a Marauders pre-Hogwarts friendship) before writing Jimmy Portman (it's the story that inspired this one) but I agree that it makes total sense. I'm glad you liked their early relationship as a way to include Peter in the group of the Marauders later on. He is too often left out.

Ah, yes... poor Remus... a little child shouldn't have to go through all that... :( And well, I guess you know how much I love Remus as well...

Poor Peter doesn't know what's going on but he does care for his friend a lot. He's such a sweetheart.

Peter being related to the Yaxleys will have a role later on, but I'm not spoilering for now. ;)

Thank you so much again and many hugs!

Chiara



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2016 11:05 PM · Chapter: Rebels (October 1976 - June 1977)

Chiaraaa ♥

This may be the only story in the history of ever where I'm more annoyed at Remus and sympathise with Peter. But yeah, Remus' self-blame game and constant pushing others away would get old, and could easily make any romantic partner doubt themselves. And not everyone is as stubborn as Tonks eventually is in convincing Remus to listen to his heart rather than his head. I mean, I can understand Remus too, so well, and all his insecurities. He is so real to me. But not everyone can handle that amount of emotional baggage Remus brings along. Both of them are such great characters and their love is so tragic because despite that they have strong feelings for one another, their personalities aren't really compatible without a lot of work on their relationship.

HA, a teacher's desk?! Peter!! Hahaha *shakes head* I've never seen a characterisation of Peter quite like yours - I love the way you write him and how you give him such a strong personality that still fits into how we know him in canon.

Peter telling a Marauders secret so he can hook up with Leander in the Shrieking Shack... ahh. This is such good writing because it's so believable of him. He tells secrets when he has personal gain from it, and feels guilty about it but not guilty enough to stop him from telling. But also lol at the fact that Peter protested against the charms classroom because it wasn't romantic enough, and then led the way to the absolute least romantic place on the entire Hogwarts grounds, apart from maybe Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

he resembled a goldfish, but a really elegant one -- for some reason I found this line absolutely hilarious XD

Sirius purposefully making the chair grate against the floor is SUCH a Sirius thing to do. You write him so well.

SIRIUS ASKS REGULUS TO COME WITH HIM WHEN HE RUNS AWAY OMG STAAHHP IT'S BREAKING MY HEART

That ridiculous gift the MArauders gave Remus - I love those boys. And I went from grinning at that to really sad in about 0.2 seconds because of Remus crying about the Ministry summons right after. Ahhh!! This story is not good for my emotional sanity but I'm too invested in it to stop hahaha

All the werewolves waiting around in the lobby forever for their turn and hating every second... this is like the wizard version of waiting in line at the DMV. Except a whole lot worse because it's about discrimination rather than getting a driving licence. *hugs Remus*

Remus is such a bad liar. I can relate. :P

Omg ♥ all the Gryffindor sixth years staging a protest this just makes me so happy and proud and I love all of them.

Their Divination predictions are hilarious. I bet that class would have been a lot of fun - if not in actually learning any Divination, it would have at least been good as an exercise in creative writing XD

ooh, what a tense family standoff there. Peter has an interesting family background and I really like these glimpses into what his family was like and how he has pretty strong forces on each side pulling him one way or the other. And so far he's firmly on the side against Voldemort, but... the way you write him and his family explains a lot about him. I know this story is AU and that Peter's fate is different in this story than it is in canon, but like... I can still see how canon Peter could have come from these same circumstances.

Great chapter! ♥



Author's Response:

Love you, Kristin!!! *hug* *wub*



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