Hey there, Chiara - dropping by for our review swap! :) I'm so excited to return to this story - it's such a fascinating and unique take on the Marauders. I've honestly never seen another story like this one, focusing on Remus and especially Peter, and definitely not their friendship or potential relationship.
I gotta say - I love the way you characterise them all, especially Remus and Peter, of course. It's just so realistic and so good - they're such real characters, they really leap off the page and sound like I could actually meet them, you know? You just make them alive... it's little things like how you mention Peter's nervous habits, Remus' wolf-ish side and how it gives him feelings and senses and emotions which aren't entirely his; how neither of them entirely likes Sirius or James at the beginning (which just makes so much sense to me, yk, since they were meant to be so full of themselves at the beginning of their schooldays), and how badly Peter reacts to Remus lying, and Remus' fears about telling his friends the truth. There are internal patterns of logic to each character and it's just so, so good. It's the kind of characterisation which is so beautifully intricate and wonderful, but is so hard to do.
I love love love how you brought Peter, Remus, James, and Sirius together! It's such an organic way to get them into their little group... and all the names, especially the 'Marauders' moniker! Haha, poor McGonagall, she really does try with them but they're just too annoying and too clever :P 'It's Peter's birthday'... I wish I'd ever been able to use that excuse in school (not that I needed it, haha, I was never in trouble, but yk :P)!
Awww, poor Remus and his confusing feelings when Peter takes his hands :P :P :P That, my dear boy, is commonly called 'a crush' :P :P He'll learn that soon enough, though - I hope?! Please? Maybe? :P
Your writing in this is so, so lovely. You have this gorgeous stripped down style I love - which is also super hard to do (at least for me) and requires so much talent to pull off successfully (which you do). Your description in this and the narrative is just so good - it reads so easily and so beautifully, and you make everything about this story come to life.
I loved it. I'll be back - hopefully it won't be too long! :)
Howdy Chiara! Sorry to be late on our swap, but I have finally arrived!
I really enjoyed the continued character development in this chapter. We don't often get the opportunity to read the young Marauders - especially Peter and Remus - and certainly not at length. Here you also explored the negative sides of both their personalities which was refreshing too.
Something that really intrigued me was the concept of Peter and Remus being friends before school, but the sudden swoon that came - and total lack of explanation - when Remus was attacked. I've never seen them written (or any of the Marauders for that matter) as having a pre-existing friendship and I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops. I wonder why the Sorting Hat plays into Peter's anger and insecurities about that though. It's shown a certain...personality...in canon, but it makes you wonder what the hat's motivations are.
I like that the chapter ends on a side of Peter we don't see - courage. It is, as he admits, more superficial, but it shows that he has some and tellingly sets up his capability to fake it, which I'm sure was instrumental in his final act of betrayal.
Hey, Kevin! :)
Ah, no worries, it's alright! Glad to have you here!
I'm so glad you liked my characterization of young Remus and Peter in this chapter. They do have their flaws, obviously, and I'm glad you liked to see that, too.
I'm glad you are intrigued by that. They have a pretty strong bond, but there is this sense of betrayal that Peter can't really let go and that will have a big impact on their characters' arcs. And about the Hat... well, I guess I have a tendency to overdo Sorting scenes... but I think what it was trying to do was make Peter see that he needs to be his own person, and not pretend to be someone else just to please other people. The way I see Peter, he's primarily moved by his need to feel accepted/respected/acknowledged and that can be dangerous because you can forget who you are and what is important for you.
Peter must have been brave to an extent or he wouldn't have been sorted in Gryffindor, right? We know that he chose to become an Animagus for Remus, and that would require a certain amount of courage. I'm glad you liked that his bravery shows a little in the final scene, even if it is more superficial.
Thank you so much for the swap and for the lovely review!
Hey, Chiara - dropping by for our review swap! :)
I'm so glad you mentioned this story, because when you said you wanted to swap, I really wanted to stop by it. It's been such a long time since I read the first chapter, and I loved it - it was so good and so sweet, and so unique. I've honestly never read a story like it - with the way it portrays both Remus and Peter, and their whole relationship in general.
I love Peter. Like, seriously. He's one of those characters I've never really wondered about, you know, because he'd mostly sort of been on the fringes of things - but he's so fascinating, especially the way you write him. The way he can be surprisingly brave in moments, even though he's so afraid - how he approaches James and Sirius even though they're intimidating and popular and he doesn't know them - and how he has those flashes of cruelty and sort of malovolence, where he seems almost dangerous. It's a great way of connecting him to his future as a Death Eater, and the way he betrays James and Lily, but it's also a really interesting character trait to give a character, and especially him. Not many people use that kind of violent anger, but it's so real and so human and it fits incredibly naturally with him.
I also loved the addition of Yaxley as Peter's cousin - it's such a cool addition, and I'm so curious to see how their relationship pans out. If Yaxley ever talks to him, if anything happens because Peter was sorted into Gryffindor, or if that has any impact on his future being a Death Eater.
Remus, as always, is so lovely. I just always feel so so sorry for him - you manage to make his backstory, which is already sad enough, almost even sadder, with the way he doesn't have many friends at school initially, how he sits with James and Sirius but they just ignore him. It's so harsh, but it fits well with what we know about both James and Sirius from canon, you know?
Their whole relationship is so lovely - the way they keep secrets from each other, they can't quite communicate the way they used to before Remus became a werewolf, and how strained things get so easily. It's such a real teenage relationship, though, which I love, especially the quick anger and the petty grudges :P
As always, your writing is so good. You have such a lovely style, and your details are so great. You have this real knack of giving each character a distinct voice which I love so much - it's much harder to do than people think; it's a real skill, and you've mastered it completely.
This is a great second chapter - I loved it! :)
Thank you so much for swapping, and sorry for the late reply!
I'm happy to see you back here. I do love how this story turned out and I'm always happy to know people love it too! I'm so glad you like the friendship between Remus and Peter.
I'm so glad you love Peter. He is such a complex and fascinating character and it's great to know that you like the way I characterize him. I think he is brave in his own way or he wouldn't have been sorted in Gryffindor, but I also imagine him to have a strong dark side, to be vengeful and keen on holding grudges. I've always thought his betrayal had more to do with his feeling mistreated and unconsidered by his friends than with his fear of being killed. I'm glad you found that the traits I gave him fit with what we know about his character.
Yaxley will have a role in his future decisions, but you'll have to read on to find out. They won't really interact much during Peter's Hogwarts years, though.
Oh, I love Remus. He's so tragic but also so sweet. I'm glad you liked that scene with James and Sirius on the train, I do think that's how it would go. They don't do it on purpose, anyway, they are just too focused on themselves... glad you found them in character too.
I'm so glad you think the relationship between Remus and Peter is real. They do have some trouble communicating, but at least lycanthropy won't stay a secret for much longer and things will go better then, at least for a bit.
Oh, thank you! Coming from you that's such a huge compliment! I'm so glad you liked my writing and all the details and that you liked my characters' voices.
Thank you so much for your lovely review!
Hello, my dear! I'm here for our review swap, and I'm so sad that this story is over.
You've done such an amazing job with Peter in this story. You've somehow managed to make me feel for him and relate to him a little better, and I think that speaks volumes because you've done everything in a truly believable way. I love how you stuck with canon as much as possible until the end, and I think tying it into your own AU is very clever. I'm not normally into AUs, but I'm a little curious to see where this story would go - and it's amusing to think of Peter as a father.
I can certainly see Peter doing some damage control. He wouldn't not tell Voldemort about the Potters, and it's a little understandable considering they tortured and threatened him, but him taking Harry makes a lot of sense. It offers him the chance of a new life, and it also ties into the books a bit with everyone still thinking/knowing what Peter did to the Potters.
Aww, and Lily is expecting! That's adorable. I do think that James would go to hell and back trying to find Harry, though, no matter what Peter says.
That scene with Remus and Sirius is so heartbreaking on so many levels. I'm glad they were able to reconcile, and I loved that Remus could forgive him, but not yet - it's very realistic and given how deeply hurt he was, makes sense that it wouldn't be done overnight. At least their friendship is reparable, and I'm glad Sirius is calling him out for still holding onto Peter's ghosts. I really do feel badly for him.
Aww, and poor Alice and Frank! It makes sense though, especially since we know that Neville would be the other chosen one, and I'm curious to see how the HP books would be played out if that was the case.
Overall, you did an amazing job with this story. It's so original in an era that gets written about quite a lot in fanfic, and I tip my hat to you for your talent, originality, and creativity. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story and giving us all a little more insight into the mind of Peter Pettigrew ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Hi again, Jill! *wub*
Oh, I'm so, so glad you liked my Peter and that I could make you feel for him! I did try to keep everything as canon as possible till the end and I'm glad it worked and felt believable. Well, I meant for Liar to tie into Jimmy from the beginning, so I'm not sure how clever that is, but thank you... :P And it would be lovely if you decided to check out Jimmy too... (yes, Peter as a father is an amusing thought... :P)
I agree, Peter wouldn't have the courage/strenght not to tell Voldemort, but I think taking Harry is something he might have done and I'm glad you can see that happening.
Yes, Lily is pregnant again. I'm glad you find it adorable, even if she's having trouble accepting it right now. This will change, of course, and the new baby will be loved deeply. And yes, James would go to the end of the world to find Harry.
I'm glad you liked the Remus/Sirius scene. So much has happened between them and it can't be fixed immediately, but they can definitely work it out with time. And yes, Remus still has feelings for Peter and that must be so hard for him. Sirius is right in calling him out.
Yes, I know... poor Alice and Frank... and poor Neville, too... yes, that's how it would have play out if Harry wasn't around, right?
Aww... thank you so much... I'm so proud of how this story turned out and I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much! Thank you for following me to the very end, it really means a lot!
All my love and the hugest snowball hug ever!
Chiara, I'm here for our swap and I'm sorry about the delay!
Okay but I didn't expect this chapter to break my heart. I really just want to snuggle Remus, even though I know he's a jerk to Peter later on-- he's going through so much with his mission from Dumbledore and trying to be a double agent is impossible to imagine. Especially when all of your supposed best friends turn on you... and that conversation with him and Sirius when Sirius was accusing him of being the spy. :( Sirius is very passionate and sometimes makes rash decisions, and I thought you did a great job of showcasing that in this chapter, and I also really liked the name-calling touches and how Remus managed to make Padfoot more disgusting than Black.
Remus and Dorcas are so adorable. I'm so glad they have each other and that she's there to help support him.
UGH Peter, it's so fitting that your animagus form is a rat.
DORCAS NO :(
Remus is there to see Peter! High-emotion reunions are neverrr a good idea and that's why. :P UGH, I want to both snuggle and shake Remus, though I suppose he's only human. Kinda. WHY CAN'T THESE TWO IDIOTS WORK IT OUT?!
Oooh, I really loved seeing the reasoning behind why they chose Peter as Secret Keeper. The boys are right; they'd instantly go to Sirius first. And interesting that they kept it from Remus, which is why Sirius thinks that Remus was the one who betrays them in PoA. At least I think that's how it happens? It's been a while since I've read the books.
Poor Peter. He has a pretty strong defense of the Dark Lord actually looking into his head for the address, and we've always known he's the weaker of the four, which is probably why Voldemort picked him.
Amazing chapter, as always, Chiara! I'm looking forward to the epilogue-- hopefully I'll get there sooner rather than later!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
First of all... please, please, please, forgive me for taking so long to reply to this!
And sorry for breaking your heart, too. This is definitely the hardest chapter of the whole story and I might have make myself cry a little writing it... So sorry... :(
Yes, poor Remus. He is a bit of a jerk to Peter, but he's going through so much, with his mission and his friends mistrusting him and everything. I'm glad you "liked" his exchange with Sirius and that you found it verosimilar and in character. I agree with you, Sirius often acts without reflecting and it is so sad that their friendship is so skrewed up at this point.
I'm glad you found Remus and Dorcas adorable. I do love them. And yes, they do need each other's support.
Yes, Peter is awful in there... and yes, poor Dorcas... I'm sorry... :(
Remus going to see Peter in that frangent definitely wasn't a good idea... I really wish they could work it out, but they are just incompatible, I'm afraid...
Yeah, that's how it was written in the books. They chose Peter because they thought Voldemort wouldn't imagine it was him, and they never told Remus because they thought he was the spy. Obviously it was a mistake, but they couldn't know it at that point.
Yes, poor Pete... he does have a quite strong defense against Voldemort reading his mind... unfortunately he isn't strong enough to protect the Potters...
Thank you so, so much for this incredible review! You are wonderful!
Hi, Chiara. I’m happy to be back to this story. Sometimes, twitter this review swap. I am forgetful due to the heat of this summer. I’ll reverse the order of review.
From the last scene it is very moving. I think I’ve never read such an impressive Marauders' transforming scene before. At least, Peter had a kind heart when Remus worried so much about the possibility to kill friends. Peter seemed to really care Remus by clasping his hands. You described how foolhardy James was. Sirius you wrote had his style, I like it.
I really like the scene that Sirius and James tried hard to get Peter’s father’s chess set back. It’s so heartwarming. And I like the episode how their name, the Marauders was born. I like their prank rain and the lyrics you thought of (?) and the conversation between McGonagall and them.
I also like the scene, James and Sirius told their animagi plan to Remus first time. The scene, Remus rushed in the classroom where Lily and Severus were, I think Lily’s dialogues are well written. One more, if I add, I wondered how Severus reacted to the Marauders. If you can add Snape’s description, it will be perfect.
I enjoyed the scene how James, Sirius and Peter ( he was thick until he found out the truth, given hints by James and Sirius,) figured out what Remus really was.
I’m glad you set James was so outgoing to be friend with Remus. At the same time, I’m amused by the episode he named both Peter and Remus as Petey and Moony.
The process how Remus, who had been unwilling ( or afraid ) to be friends with James and Sirius, got to get along with them, is really well written. You did a good job, starting this chapter with a letter from Remus to their parents and Peter’s suspicion.
Here to reply to another lovely review! :)
I'm so glad you liked the last scene and how supportive the Marauders were of Remus. They are the best friends ever, aren't they? Glad you liked their individual portrayals as well!
Yes, as I said, they are just great friends! It is very thoughtful and sweet of them to think about that present and put so much effort in realizing it. And I had so much fun with the rhyming prank! Ahahah! It wasn't easy, but it worked in the end and I'm so happy! :)
Glad you liked both the confrontation when they discovered Remus' lycanthropy and later when they told him the Animagi plan. Yes, other people told me that they would have liked to see also a bit of Snape's perspective in that scene, but I was focused on Remus' POV and I don't think he would care...
Glad you liked the part when they figure it out as well. For Peter it was just absurd to imagine it, so that's why it took him so long to understand.
I've always imagined James to be quite spontaneous and easigoing, if a bit intrusive and rowdy. Glad you liked him.
I'm also glad you liked Remus losening up and becoming their friend, as well as the letter in the beginning.
Thank you so much for another great review! :)
Chiara! I'm so sorry I seem to have fallen woefully behind on this story, I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me! ♥♥
Anyway, let's talk about this chapter! I know I've said it in a bunch of my reviews, but it's still true. I'm so impressed with how you handle time jumps without it being overly confusing. I loved that you started this chapter with Mad-Eye's training and it flowed through to the end, where everyone was taking That Picture to celebrate both Lily and Alice being pregnant. It's not something you really think about, but it makes sense since Neville and Harry are only a few days apart. I'm really glad you brought those details together :)
Speaking of details, I loved how you wrote the attack at the house. It was all really easy for me to picture, and writing action is so difficult, so you did a great job. I can totally see Peter sort of ducking and hiding and Sirius getting mad at him for it, so I thought that was really well done to show their dynamic, and Remus coming to his defense. WILL YOU JUST LET THESE TWO GET BACK TOGETHER, CHIARA?! I MEAN REALLY.
Although I will admit that Dorcaes and Remus are cute. I'm glad she's so supportive of him and knows of his mission; Dumbledore's right in that will ease a lot of the burden if he can share it with her.
Ugh, poor Peter. I know all too well that feeling of wanting to be left alone even though your friends try and drag you places. I'm glad James eventually backed off even though he didn't want to.
I have a sneaky suspicion that I know who that voice belongs to... *shivers*
Excellent chapter as always, Chiara! And I've missed your writing and this story. I will be back in the not-so-distant future to continue reading ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Welcome back, love! I have missed you! And you have nothing to apologize for, I'm just glad you decided to come back here! :)
I'm so glad to know that the chapter flowed well and the time jumps were easy to follow. I wanted it to focus on the war and the Order and I hope that worked well. And yes, they would be pregnant in the same period, wouldn't they? Glad you liked the picture bit.
Writing action is definitely difficult, so I'm glad it seemed to work here. I wanted to put focus on Peter's reactions in a battle, because I think it explains a lot of his character and some of his later decisions. I'm glad you liked the dynamics among the Marauders in that scene. As for Peter and Remus getting back together... erm... I can't...?
I'm glad you find Remus and Dorcas cute together, though. They truly are. And he does need her and all her support.
Poor Peter, indeed. He just feels so detatched and lonely at this point. And yes, sometimes you just want to stay on your own, right?
Sorry for the cliffhanger. I have to warn you, the next chapter won't be pretty...
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you love this story! And I can't wait to see you back for the rest! (No pressure, though. When you have time.)
Hi, Chiara! I came here for our review swap!
It's another great chapter! Peter is well written, his quality , yeah, he must have been in Slytherin, considering his way of living in the latter half of his life. Then you made clear why he was sorted into Gryffindor. You set the circumstances very well to make him so sensitive and feel lonely. It's harsh for two of them, Peter and Remus that Remus had to endure his lycanthropy. If he had not been bitten, they could have been good friends continuously.
The Sorting Hat scene is so thrilling, I like it, Chiara! I enjoyed the ceremony as well as Harry's written by J.K.Rowling. It's very original and interesting to read Peter's mind movement and the description of that scene is super!
The other descriptions are very impressive. It's quite fresh to observe those famous Marauders era characters from Peter's eyes, like Lily, Snape, Sirius, Yaxley, James Potter, and so on.
You gave us many reasonings why unconfident Peter could be companions with James and Sirius. It's very convincing.
I think it's one of the best stories I've read recently, Chiara!
Let's do swap again near future!
Hi, Kenny! Finally here to answer this lovely review. Sorry if it took me a bit...
I'm so glad you like my characterization of Peter. Yes, he does have Slytherin qualities, he's irascible, selfish and willing to be successful and considered. But he's also loyal and brave (at least at this stage of his life), and he values Gryffindor's values (and we know that the Sorting Hat takes people's choices into account). Yes, if Remus hadn't been bitten, their relationship would have been much easier and they would have been different people. But that's not how things went.
Ah, I'm so glad you liked the Sorting scene. I love writing them, but sometimes I'm afraid I let myself be carried away a bit too much... so happy you liked Peter's thoughts, and the description, too!
That's how I've always imagined Peter, standing apart and observing and keeping his thoughts to himself. I think it makes sense with his personality, and it's also what makes him such a good spy later on. I'm glad you liked to see all the other characters' descriptions through his eyes.
I'm so, so, so happy you are enjoying this story so much, it is one I'm particularly proud of. And yes, we should totally swap again, I still have a chapter of your story to read.
Thank you for swapping and for the lovely review!
Hi there! So I'm so late in reviewing this, and I can't belive you're finished it already but here I am! Better late than never :P
Oh dear, poor Remus, I do feel sorry him. He didn't ask to be a werewolf, he shouldn't have to deal with all this nonsense prejudice. Although he doesn't make things any easier for himself does he, he should know by now that his friends don't care and aren't gonna judge him. Aha, I love Dorcas though, love her ambition to get into politics, I think she'd be fab at it!
Oh no, poor Tom, sacking Remus must have been a tough decision for him but I suppose he has to think about his business. It was nice of him to try and give Remus some more money, even if Remus was too proud to take it.
Aha, I bet Peter wasn't the only person to have that reaction when they found out about James becoming head boy haha. 6 years of mischief and that's the reward lol, I guess Dumbledore just saw something else in him. Although I'm not a fan of all this talk about growing up, reminding me that I have to start doing that soon and I'd rather not haha.
I defo love Dorcas, always the sensible one.Must have been hard for Remus having to go to the ministry, and then to have Peter's boyfriends there. Definitely not a good day, I'm glad Dorcas was there for him. Oh, no. I think I'm going to change my mind, don't get in the way of him and Peter, just be there as a friend! Sigh, don't mind me, I'll just sit here and sob for them.
Oooh, now this is a relationship I can get behind. James and Lily, looks like things are heating up between them, I suppose he's gring up isn't he. That does make him more attractive, even Lily can't resist that haha.
I still can't get over Peter and Remus! I need them to make up, and preferably soon please! They're going to kill me. Hmm, I guess I knew this was coming, but I'm glad they didn't all immediately say yes. I'm glad you made James and Sirius though, it wouldn't' seem right, those two not wanting to sign up and fight! It is sad though, and shows just how dangerous the world they're living in is.
Aww, those two are just so cute, you write them so well! Of course they've got something planned, they wouldn't be the marauders without planning something. I wonder what it is?
Hahaha, James! Of course he would do something like that! Each boy receiving their diploma was so different, and it was so in character and a great read!
WOW! That was perfect, poor Snape, kind of, but the firework and everything was just great! A perfect ending to them finishing school, which is actually kind of sad, but I suppose it must happen to everyone at some point.
Another great chapter! I'm excited to see what happens next, especially now they've finished Hogwarts! :)
Shaza! I'm so thrilled to see you back! Thank you so, so, so much for stopping by again, it was such a lovely surprise!!! :D
Yes, poor kid... he really doesn't deserve such a treatment... :( ah, yes, I know, he should've learned that his friends won't judge him, but I don't think he'll ever get it, that's just how he is.
Yes, I don't think Tom liked it... but I guess he couldn't really act differently... poor Remus, though... :(
Ahahah! No, I bet a lot of people would have that reaction. :P Yes, Dumbledore must have seen much more in James than the troublemaker. He is much more than that. And I can sympathize with you on the growing up thing... adulting... urgh...
Dorcas is awesome! Yes, I know that you ship Remus and Peter and I'm sorry it isn't working out... and I'm afraid it won't really work out in the future... *sorry* Believe me, Remus does need Dorcas in his life... but I can see why this upset you... :(
Ahahah! Yes! Jily! Jily 5ever! (No, I don't ship them, not even a little bit... :P) He is growing up, and she does notice. :D
Once again, I'm sorry... I'm glad you liked the Order bit, and that not all of them agreed immediately. I do think it is very in character for James and Sirius to jump in immediately, though. and I'm glad you agree with me. And yes, it is sad...
They wouldn't be the Marauders without a huge goodbye prank, would they? :D I'm so glad you loved James' speech, that's something he would totally do. And I'm so glad you liked all the different ways they reacted at receiving their diploma! It was much fun to write, and the prank as well (yes, poor Snape...)
Thank you so much for this absolutely wonderful review! It really made me so happy! And I can't wait to know what you think of the rest (but no pressure, there's no rush at all, whenever you have time)
So much love and snowball hug,
The last chapter!! Ahh, I can't believe this wonderful story is over. But I think I was only partway through Jimmy Portman so now I'm even more excited to finish it now that I know the background!
Anyway, back to this chapter. I loved the way you made such a major twist in canon in an entirely believable way. If Peter were to do anything differently from his actions in the books, I think it wouldn't be not selling out the Potters, but it would be some sort of damage control in an indirect way, and that's exactly what you have here and it makes a lot of sense. The way you've characterized Peter throughout the whole story supports his actions here - he's never been the sort of person to run headlong into anything, rather, to change things from the safety and anonymity of the shadows he's used to occupying.
Your characterization of Peter is one of the best I've ever read, and while I don't really like him, at times I can sympathize with him and relate to him, and making a reader feel that about such a universally disliked character is impressive.
His relationship with Remus was my favourite part of the story overall, because it's a ship I've never seen anywhere else (100 gold stars for originality) and because it really makes sense - James and Sirius were best friends and closest to each other out of the four, so it's understandable that Remus and Peter would be close too, not to mention that they're the quieter of the four Marauders. But ultimately their personalities were incompatible in a romantic relationship - Remus is too self-deprecating and Peter isn't strong enough to handle it - but there's still something there, some leftover feelings that lasted through a lot of heartbreak and other lovers and even if they don't get back together in a romantic sense, there's a definite sense of hope that things will be okay between them and that the love will always be there.
The scene with Silvia and Mary was so heartbreaking as she realizes what Peter has done. That must be so hard to come to terms with, especially as Peter is her only child. And the scene with James and Lily was so sad as well, with Lily being pregnant again right after losing Harry, I can see how she doesn't feel ready and her anxiety that the new baby will be just a replacement is so sad, but makes so much sense right after what she and James have been through.
The lines during Sirius and Remus' discussion about how it was easier for Sirius to distrust a werewolf because everyone else did, and how Sirius should have trusted Remus - those were such poignant lines and ouch, there's a lot of hurt there and unintentional discrimination, which is so hurtful because they're best friends and I think Sirius is uncomfortable confronting that about himself which is why he tries to gloss over with humor. I am glad he owned up to it and apologized though, even if he deflects his feelings with jokes. But as hard as this scene was, it was really nice to think that they were able to reconcile without Sirius sitting in prison for 13 years for something he didn't do while Remus thought Sirius was a murderer. But... poor Alice and Frank :'(
Thank you for writing this amazing story! I've enjoyed every word of it, and you are so talented.
I'm so glad you got to the end of this with me! You are just the best friend and reviewer ever and I love you so much!!!
I'm glad you thought the twist in canon made sense. Yes, I totally agree, Peter would try to find a solution in the less exposing way possible, I love your character analysis here, it's just so perfect!
And I'm so glad you liked my characterization of Peter. Heading people say they they could understand him and sympatize with him to an extent is such a huge compliment to me and makes me so proud!
I'm so glad you loved the Peter/Remus ship, too! I'm actually not sure where it came from but I'm glad it made sense. I always thought Peter and Remus would be closer, since James and Sirius are such a strong duo. And yes, they couldn't really work as a couple because, like you say, their personalities just aren't compatible that way, but they'll always have strong feelings for each other.
Silvia and Mary's scene is probably my favourite in this chapter. Yes, it would be so hard for a mother accepting that about her only child... :( And yes, poor Lily... I'm glad you could understand her feelings in that situation.
I'm so glad you liked the scene between Remus and Sirius, too. I love your analysis of that as well because it's just what I was trying to express! And yes, it is much better than Sirius being sent to Azkaban for cries he didn't commit. Yes, I know, Alice and Frank... :(
Thanks to you for reading and for all your wonderful reviews and for being so supportive throughout! It means so much that you enjoyed this!
So much love,
CHIARA ♥ ♥ ♥
Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing this amazing story! It's one of my top favourites on this site, and I've enjoyed being a part of the journey every step of the way.
I love how you've tied it in to Jimmy, and if I hadn't already starting reading Jimmy I would definitely be right over there to see what happens next. So I think you've done a really good job in merging the two stories, and it's really impressive how close to canon you kept it.
I love (well, it made me very sad too) how you swapped James and Lily's demise for Frank and Alice's - you've warped canon and I think it works really well.
The scene with Peter and baby Harry is actually so cute. And Lily is pregnant again, ahhh!
I love the scene between Silvia and Mary, even though it breaks my heart. I love that we get to see more reactions over Peter from different viewpoints, especially from someone so close to him.
I'm so glad Remus and Sirius made up. But poor Remus still having feelings for Peter :( I must say though, I do prefer this reality where James is still alive :P
And I just LOVE the last line. I think it actually sounds quite ominous, and I can't wait to see what happens if they really do meet again.
Congratulations again, Chi. I'm so proud of you and so grateful that you wrote this story that I love so much! And I'm so happy to have been a part in it.
All my love
B ♥ ♥ ♥
Aww, B... *hug* *wub*
Thank you so much for all your help and support and for following me till here! I've already told again and again, but I wouldn't have got to the end without you!!!
I'm so glad you liked the link to Jimmy! I wanted it to be canon until Peter chooses a different path, that's what Jimmy was all about, after all. :)
I'm glad the switch to Frank and Alice worked. Yes, I know, sad... but it had to happen... :(
I'm glad you found Peter with Harry cute! He will become a good father for him. :) And yes, Lily is pregnant again...
I think Mary and Silvia's scene was my favourite in this chapter. Poor Mary, it must be so hard for a mother to learn that her child is not a good person... :( I'm glad that you liked to see all different reactions about Peter, though.
Yes, they made up. Maybe not completely yet, but they'll get there. Yes, Remus still has feelings for Peter. He has lost so much... but I see why this universe is better, with Lily and James alive, Sirius not in Azkaban and Remus not completely alone. :)
They will meet again... can't tell you how it will go, though... (yes, I need to get back to Jimmy...)
I'm so glad you've been a part of this as well! Thank you so much again for everything, little B! Love you so much!
Chiara. I'm so sorry it's taken so long! It's been a whirlwind of a few days and now I finally have a second to myself... in the airport :p So I'm sorry for any typos and for not being able to leave a very long/thorough review as I'm writing this on my phone!
OKAY SO. This is absolutely the best chapter so far. Honestly, I think it's the best chapter you've ever written. The content of this chapter breaks my heart in so many ways, but it's so powerful and effective storytelling and it's a perfect example of what I was telling you the other day on twitter, that you're an incredibly talented writer.
A lot of things that have come up in the story so far start to tie together here, just as they're all falling apart for the characters. My heart breaks for every single character here - James for finding out his family is targeted, Sirius for being the most loyal person ever and finding out someone has repaid that with selling out Order secrets, Remus for losing Dorcas right after she reaffirmed how she was going to stick with him and made him feel more human as he does this emotionally difficult task with the werewolves, and Peter... ah. I simultaneosly feel sorry for him and hate him because in the end he did choose, he had a choice, and he made selfish decisions that sold out other people. But a lot of that bad decision making stemmed from feeling like an outsider among his friends, and from the fallout with his best friend/ex. But what he did to Dorcas is inexcusable. I hope he felt horrible for that. But I love that so much of this chapter is from Peter's pov because he's definitely in the most dificult place of all of them and has the most internal struggle (even if he did put himself there to begin with) and you did such a wonderful job delving into his motivations and why and how he did what he did, in a way that explains everything.
This was so good. You should be proud. Amazing work, as usual! ♥ ♥
It wasn't too long, no worries! Thank you so much for stopping by! *hug*
Aww... *blushing* you are way too nice to me... sorry for breaking your heart... this breaks mine too...
I'm so glad you could feel for all the characters. They are so tragic... :(
And Peter... I understand that feeling, and I'm glad that you could still feel sorry for him while hating him. Yes, he did have a choice and he did make selfish decisions. And what he did to Dorcas is just awful... :( He did feel very, very bad for it.
But I'm glad that seeing everything from his point of view could at least explain his motives and that you could still feel for him.
Thank you so much for another amazing review, it means so much to me that you love this story so much!
Snowball hug, darling!
Transfrerred from HPFF
Hi! I came as a jailbreaker for Abbie at CTF Round 2
This story began with Peter’s kid days. I’ve never encountered such a story. There are lots of mother’s love and I smiled at Peter’s play a flying phoenix. Ouch, Peter, you got an injury. Everyone does have some injuries in one’s kid days.
Reading him cry hard, I sensed his timidity. I know kids cry when they got an injury, but I sensed that you put the episode intentionally to connect his future situation, is that right?
Oh, was Peter’s mother from House of Yaxley? I wondered the name influenced Peter’s future choice. And you set Remus there. Hmm, an interesting plot. They had already known each other before going to Hogwarts. It’s a heartwarming scene that they built a sand Hogwarts together.
Another heartwarming scene. Remus and his father would make a swing using an apple tree. I remembered my younger days. I used to climb a tree with my friends.
Oh, no. Remus didn’t feel good. Does that mean he had already been bitten by a werewolf? Was that before full moon or after that? Oh, I was sure. He had to be in there alone. Then the full moon was coming. Oh, my guess was right. So sad for his parents, especially for his mother who spent longer time with him than his father. I’ve never read Lycanthropy themed story from his mother’s POV. It’s brilliant!
You gave a chance to Peter for his bravery. I was very amazed by the episode which made him Gryffindor. So sad most of Lupin’s friend bullied him after he confessed them what he was. I guess Peter was the first person who knew Lupin and understood him in your story. And I love your descriptions about Peter's tiny reaction in detail here and there.Your writing is full of affection towards each character. It’s a great start with the story!
Hey, Kenny! Welcome! :D
Yes, I know... Peter isn't a common character to focus on, but I really love exploring him, and I love writing children! Glad you liked the opening scene!
That's exactly what I was going for. Peter is such a shy and insecure character and his reaction to his injury served to show exactly those traits.
There might be a connection between him being related to the Yaxleys and his future choices, but it will all be dealt with in due time.
Glad you liked Remus and Peter's early friendship and the things they did together! :D
Yes, he's already been bitten, and this is just before his first transformation... :( And poor Silvia, too... it must be so painful for a mother, knowing your son will have to go through all that and being unable to do anything to help him... :( Glad you liked this perspective! :D
Peter does care a lot about Remus and yes, he did show a little bit of Gryffindor bravery in that moment. It's so horrible that Remus would be bullied like that... children can be cruel... but he does have a good friend in Peter at least!
Thank you so much for the sweet review!
Hey there, back again! Sorry it's been a while but I'm very excited to read it again! :)
Aww, cute responsible Remus worrying about what his friends would think. You'd think that with his friends accepting him as a werewolf then they'd be okay with him being a Prefect... But I guess he's not the Remus we love without a bit of worrying!
Ooooh, things are getting interesting. Well, a bit of thinking but it's a start! I'm actually quite excited to see what happens between them now. That's a really cute scene between Remus and his father, I love the advice he gives him. Sounds like a smart guy (guessing Remus totally inherited those genes). Although you've BROKE MY HEART- "So a person affected by lycantrophy doesn't have the right to love and be loved". I'm glad his dad tried to get him to see it's ridiculous but the fact that he grows up thinking that is heartbreaking!
OMG, Peter is jealous?! I hope this is true, because that would be so cute for Remus but I guess I'll have to wait and see. That whole scene though, it just screams Peter like Remus!
Aha, I think Remis should have been worried less about what his friends would think about him being prefect and more about how he was going to keep them in line! Although it's interesting seeing them come up with the idea for the map/what they had to do to find out stuff. Wow, well that took a turn for the depressing. Oh no, I hope she's okay!
Ergh, can I just despise Regulus? How is he even related to Sirius? I love how you portray their relationship though, because he is still his brother so it's not going to be easy to just forget about him and let him get on with joining the dark side.
Omg this is going to be a long story if these two keep this up! :P Jeez, I wish they'd just get on with it! (Okay so I wrote that before reading on, clearly!) OH MY WORD!! I don't know weather to be really pleased or sit here and sob because he thinks he doesn't like him! Oh what has he done! I hope Remus fixes it, and quickly!
Aww, poor Remus! That does sound awfully confusing, makes me glad it's not me having to figure that one out. Lol, Sirius isn't as good as giving advice as Remus' dad is he. I'm glad it kind of helped, and that he saw a bit of sense being loved as well.
Aha, well that's one way to do it, shout ‘I love you' down a corridor. Well done Remus haha. Aww, I'm so glad they worked it out though! Yay for them! (I'm going to ignore the bit about Dorcas for now because they're finally happy :P)
Another great chapter, although I'm scared to move on to the next one because it's called heartbreakers and that just can't be good D:
It's so great to have you back here! And you really have nothing to apologize for, this was totally unexpected and super appreciated! :D
Ahahah! Like you said, that's Remus. He needs to worry about just anything... ;) And of course his friends would be okay with it, but I think a bit of teasing is definitely a possibility. :P
John is absolutely an intelligent man, other than a caring father. And yes, Remus did inherit those genes! :) I'm sorry that saddened you... but it's just Remus' way of thinking... :(
Peter is jealous. You got that right. ;)
Being a Prefect and a Marauder at the same time can't be easy... Poor Remus... Ahahah! Glad you enjoyed the Map bit! As for Mary... sorry about that, but she will be fine.
Oh, Regulus... he really isn't a bad person, just misguided... but I can't blame you for despising him. Glad you liked their relationship, though. They have different views and can't really get each other, but they are brothers and they do love and care for each other.
It mustn't be simple, for either of them. They are both very unsecure and in need of external acceptance and I think Remus especially would be scared of being "different", since he already has to deal with lycanthropy. They will fix it though, at least for a bit...
Poor Remus, indeed... Ahahah! No, Sirius isn't very good with advices, but he tried at least. And he did give Remus a push in the right direction. ;)
To Remus' benefit, it was an empty classroom, not a corridor... :P But yeah, that's pretty unconsiderate... Remus does these reckless things from time to time... but it did work, and that's what matters. Right? ;)
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed this chapter as well! No, I'm afraid the next one won't be happy... but I would love it if you get there just the same...
Thank you so much for the review, love!
Hey, figured I'd carry on since I really want to know what happens next! And hitting the Hufflepuff review tag while I'm here :P
Aw, the letter is such a sweet touch! Poor Lupin, it must be hard to know that the two people he can talk freely about everything to are only accessible by a letter. Although YES! So glad to see he hates lying to Peter, hopefully the truth comes out soon. It's so strange to read about how he doesn't trust James and Sirius though, it's an interesting twist and it makes this even more intriguing. I think I use that word too much when reviewing this story but I just always have questions and always want to read on! Hmm, I hope they were just being nice and that Remus' wolf sense is off, although I'm wondering if that's going to be some sort of plot twist!
Oooh, I was so confused but I see now! Wow, well I guess someone had to put them in their place and with Remus' temperament at the full moon it makes sense that it's him. Hahaha, Lockhart! Omg, I love that mention. Aww, well that was unexpected but I'm glad they seem to be friends now, and that Remus is feeling a little more trustful.
Oooh, this is getting tense! Omg, I can't believe they figured it out although I like that it was Sirius, was a nice touch as I think out of all three of them he'd be the one to make that connection with the once a month/full moon. Oh no, I hope Peter is nice to him, at least James and Sirius seem to want to be nice. Although I hope they do ask him because I don't know if Peter is going to be able to keep it a secret and if he blurts it out that would be a nightmare. Aha, I love that little slip of the "You can't be serious..I'm not you are." Aha, that pun never gets old!
Aww, they told him? Yes they did! Omg, this makes me so happy! YAY!! I love how you've written this, like it's honestly perfection! Look at Lily being all protective of Remus, and just immediately calling out James. Your writing is just filled with little details that make the characters so real and it's just so good!
Oh, so I'm guessing they've started discussing becoming animagus? Bless them, and in third year! Well they're loyalty can't be faulted.Although I can see both points of view because Remus knows it's dangerous and obviously doesn't want to put the first friends who've accepted him in danger but likewise, they don't want to leave him in danger of himself. I love how you've written this just using dialogue as well, it really emphasises the conversation and just how stubborn both sides are being!
Ahahaha, yay a prank! How funny, and how clever of you to think up those rhymes! I'm so impressed, I couldn't even rhyme 2 lines never mind a paragraph of my story. I love the prank and the idea that McGonagall gave them the idea to be called the marauders. I had no idea it actually meant something so that's really cool!
Oh my word, that last paragraph! Reduce me to pieces, break my heart, it's fine! :P No, but seriously you've got across how Remus must have felt when he realised his friends could transform and spend the full moon with him. It must have been so life-changing and amazing and he must have been so happy! Aww, I'm so glad it all worked out for them!
Well this was longer than I thought, I apologise if it's all ramble but I'm loving this story! Looking forward to reading the next chapter!
Aww... this was such a nice surprise, finding your review waiting for me yesterday morning... definitely brightened my Monday! :D (And for the record, I don't mind rambling... feel free to do that as much as you want! :P)
I guess a lot of children would've felt homesick and missed their families when starting Hogwarts. For Remus this is particularly true, since he feels he can't trust anyone the way he trusts his parents... poor child...
And yes, obviously he hates lying to Peter... he knows he's being unfair to the only friend he has and he truly cares for him, but on the other hand he fears that Peter would be afraid of him if he knew the truth. In a way, he's trying to protect him.
James and Sirius... well, they can be quite a lot to deal with... they have good hearts, but we know they have a tendency to be overbearing, and Remus did have his fair lot of experience with bullies. Remus sees a lot of Duncan in them, which is the reason he can't trust them. In that case they were just being nice, though. :)
A few scenes are a bit confusing, I'm sorry about that... I'm trying to fit into the seven scenes structure and to do so I cut out a few moments that would've made the flow smoother... anyway...
Someone had to tell them off. ;) I'm not sure if Remus' words will have much of an effect on their behaviour anyway. :P Glad you liked Lockhart's mention. Eheheh! I guess Remus just needed to see how authentic they are, you know? Despite what he says, he does need friends.
For some reason, I thought it'd made sense for Sirius to be the one to make the connection. Peter would've never figured it out, because to him it would've been too absurd. And James just isn't reflective enough? I doubt Peter would be nasty to Remus anyway even if he does have some prejudices... Peter knows Remus and that makes all the difference. As for James and Sirius, they hate prejudices and just wouldn't care. At least, that's how I imagine it. :D (and yay for Sirius/serious puns. I love Sirius/serious puns. I didn't put enough of them in this story...)
Yes, they did! Glad you liked that scene! And I love Lily, she's brilliant! :) Glad you like the details and that you feel they give the characters depth!
Yes, they're starting to discuss Animagi. :) I'm glad the dialogue helped emphasizing the stubborness on both sides. And yay for Marauders' loyalty! Aren't they just awesome friends?
Ahahah! The prank! That took me quite some time to figure out... I have to say, writing rhymes in a language you're not sure the pronunciation of isn't easy... doing rhymes in Italian is much easier... :P but apparently it worked out! ;)
I'm glad you liked they got the idea for the name from McGonagall. It was actually an idea I took from Ysh's story, sort of... she had Peeves giving them the name but it was after a prank like here, so pretty similar circumstancies...
I'm sorry... or maybe not... :P Ah, I'm glad you think I captured Remus' emotions well there. After enduring it all alone for so long, it must've been so liberating and joyful to have someone by his side! Did I mention I love Remus?
Uh oh... I'm afraid I rambled even more than you did... hope you don't mind...
Thank you so much again for stopping by! I really hope you'll be back again, cause I'd love to know your thoughts on the rest!
All my love and hugs!
Hey there! :D
Aww, well doesn't that bring back awful memories of the first day of school and everyone being so much taller and more grown up than you! Poor Peter, it must have been hard enough and then he bumped into family who don't seem to nice and he didn't even know he had. The stark contrast between Remus and Peter's experience on the train is a nice touch because while Peter does get brought into a compartment with family, albit they don't seem to nice, Lupin finds himself in a compartment with two people he doesn't know and it sounds like he spends it by himself.
Wow, Slytherin? I love that you made the hat dither and then eventually listen to Peter as to where he goes. I can see how it would make sense with some of what you've shown about him especially in the first chapter. It really makes him feel more complex and shows another side than just the typical brave Gryffindor side.
Aww, this story really does make you feel sorry for Peter! He must have been so hurt and upset at being left by Remus but I'm glad he was willing to make friends with him again. Even if it is with a rather big lie between them.
Your observations are amazing! I love the little extra details and depth they give to the story. Although kind of makes me want to strangle Remus, haha! I hope Peter finds out soon, I feel like this secrecy can only go on for so long! Aww, no! See this is why Remus needs to tell! I hope they make back up. I mean I can understand why Remus doesn't want to tell but it's so frustrating haha!
Oooh, I wonder if Peter will just work it out by logic! Ben missing 3 times in 3 months....although I suppose that's only obvious to me because I know! Good on him for getting the courage to speak to James and Sirius! I hope this is the start of a beautiful friendship between the three(four) of them! Although now I'm curious how Remus will react when he knows Peter has been with them?
Another fab chapter, this is such an intriguing story!
First day of school is hard... I had that feeling in my first year of middle school, being so little compared to the older kids... glad you could empathize with Peter, but sorry for bringing back bad memories... :/
Ah, I'm glad you liked the contrast between the two of them. I don't think either of them had a particularly nice first trip to Hogwarts, though...
Well, apparently it is canon for Peter being an hatstall (or so my canon-expert beta Ysh tells me...) and it just makes sense in my opinion. Peter can be brave and loyal, but we know he has a much darker side and we know he chose to save himself and sacrifice others in the end. He definitely has a bit of Slytherin in him, don't you agree?
Peter is very hurt and upset about Remus abandoning him... but they'll make up, at least for now...
I'm glad you liked the observations bit and the details they add. Oh, I know... but don't be too hard on Remus, he's gone through a lot and is just scared of suffering again...
I don't think it would be so easy to figure out. Also because it is something I doubt Peter would take into consideration... but you'll find out more about it all in the next chapter (if you happen to come back and read on...)
Yay for Peter talking to James and Sirius! You'll find out more about that in the next chapter, too... but yes, the Marauders are definitely in the making! ;)
Thank you for swapping with me! I'm do glad you enjoyed this chapter too! And I'm so happy I got the chance to read your Lavender story, it really was amazing!!!
Love and hugs,
Hey Ciara, I'm just transferring some reviews over from HPFT :)
Hey Chiara, here for the Hufflepuff review swap!
I don't think I've actually read a story focused on Peter as the main character before so I'm excited to read this and see how you portray him!
I love how you set the chapter up, Peter's mum actually makes me think Peter could have turned out quite shy as she seems quite overprotective. Although I suppose most mothers wouldn't want their child to be in pain. And you make Peter sound like such a cute child, it's strange to imagine him as the one who betrayed Lily and James but I guess at this point he isn't.
Aww no, I think you've just broke my heart! Poor Remus, having to transform all by himself when he's so young. He must have been so scared, especially for the first time. Again I love the motherly love you show with Silvia staying outside all night.
And things just get worse. Kids can be so mean, and I definitely think that's an important part to show. Makes the idea of him being a marauder so much sweeter. And I love how Peter tries to stand up for Remus even though he doesn't know what's going on. With what he does when he's older it's easy to forget he was a Gryffindor and I think him sticking up for Remus shows that perfectly!
Now I feel sorry for Peter, which isn't something I ever thought I would! Remus was rather mean to him (although I get why) but now he's just left him! That must have hurt, especially being so young and he doesn't even know why. I'm glad something made him smile, even if only a little one. It's his birthday and he deserved that!
Oh, leaving for Hogwarts must have been a terrifying time for Remus and I think you've done a great job in showing that! He has to leave the two people he was closest too, and the two people who know and accept his condition and now he's going to have to live with others his own age. And after what other people his age have done to him, no wonder he's scared.
This was a great start to what seems like it's going to be an interesting story! I'm going to have to come back and read on!
- Shaza :)
So, now I owe you two review responses... I've been so lazy at this recently and I'm sorry...
I'm so happy you are intrigued by this. Peter's stories are not very frequent and that's a pity. He is a much complex character than often depicted and, I swear, so fascinating to explore. I must confess, I've developed a little affection for him. Weird, I know...
That's exactly what I was doing for with Mary. She is overprotective and Peter does turn out quite shy and uncertain as a result. At this point in his life he's just a child like many others. The betrayal is still far away.
It always breaks my heart to think about Remus going through all that since such an early age... the poor child... I hated myself a little writing that scene, but then again, we know this happened...
And poor Silvia as well... can you imagine how hard it must've been for her? I'm glad you liked the motherly love there!
Kids can be so nasty. I could totally imagine something like this happening. It also explain why Remus is so reticent to share his secret with anyone. I'm glad you liked Peter showing some Gryffindor bravery and loyalty.
Poor Peter... Remus was unfair to him, but you can't really blame him... after everything that happened he's just scared of Peter's reaction and worried for his safety. I'm happy I made you feel sorry for Peter, though! #authorpride
Leaving for Hogwarts was scary for Remus. He's obviously very close to his parents and he worries about all the things that could go wrong... he does that a bit too much but, once again, can you really blame him? Fortunately we know he'll meet some pretty amazing friends and that he'll be riunited to Peter soon. :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this first chapter! This story is currently my main focus/obsession and I'm so thrilled that it's been received so well so far!
Thanks so much for the lovely review!
Hi, here for our swap! Sorry this is a bit belated!
I think this is really unique because I don't think I've ever seen a fic before where Peter and Remus were friends before going to Hogwarts. I actually think that would make for a super interesting Marauders dynamic, because as it stands in canon/fanon you have James and Sirius who are completely attached at the hip, and then Peter and Remus, who obviously the other two care about but not on the same level, and who don't have that sort of special relationship with each other. So I think that giving Remus and Peter a pre-Hogwarts friendship could possibly help even that dynamic out a bit.
Also, Peter/Remus is really a relationship I've never considered before. Obviously it doesn't really come into play in this first chapter, as they're children, but I figured it was worth commenting on as it's a pretty rare pairing and that adds to the uniqueness.
I can definitely say that I've never read a story where anybody knows about Remus's lycanthropy besides the Marauders and the Hogwarts staff. To be completely honest, it did give me pause - why wouldn't the kids who'd found out tell everybody? - but maybe that will be explained in another chapter? It was really interesting to see Peter come to Remus's rescue like that - so different from how he came to be later in life. But I suppose he started out brave, to be put in Gryffindor.
I think you did a very good job of writing Peter and Remus as realistic children. There really wasn't any point where I thought that anything seemed to mature or too immature. An especially sweet moment was when they wanted to build a swing together and were raring to get started, even though they didn't really know how to do it. I can remember getting up to similar antics with my cousins as a kid :') And I really liked how the swing kept coming up, and you had that scene with Peter sitting on the swing after Remus had moved away.
This was a really successful first chapter, in my opinion, because it really left me wondering how this dynamic was going to continue to play out and what would be the same or different from other fics I've read.
Great work! And thanks for the swap! :D
Hey, Kayla! Welcome! :) Thank you so much for swapping and for giving this a try, and sorry for the lateness of my reply...
Glad you like the idea of an early friendship for Remus and Peter. Like you said, James and Sirius are said to be particularly close, so it always made sense in my head that Remus and Peter would as well. And yes, I don't think anyone has ever thought about this ship, but I have to say that I've grown quite fond of it and I'm glad you are willing to give it a try. :)
Oh, yes... that's a really good point, which I should have considered but obviously didn't... Duncan and the other kids must have been at Hogwarts in the same time Remus had, year more, year less, so why didn't they confront him somehow, or tell anybody his secret? I honestly have no idea... Glad you liked Peter showing some Gryffindor bravery in here, he must have had some, right?
I love writing children, and I'm glad you found them realistic. And I'm also glad you loved the bit about the swing, too!
I'm glad this intrigued you so far and I would really love if you decided to come back again!
Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
CHIARAAA! I hope you're having a wonderful afternoon, little one *snuggles*
I already gushed over this chapter but here's some more ;) just less emojis (unfortunately)
Okay okay okay, so I'm loooving all of the Order of the Phoenix things, even though it makes me sad because I know we're kind of reaching the end, and it's not a happy one :( Moody is so amazing, you've written him so well, and the line about him making grocery shopping sound dangerous is hilarious and so true! Also I love the mention of Frank Longbottom!
So having Alice and Lily announce their pregnancies is gorgeous and adorable, and mentioning the photo that Sirius shows Harry later is just beautiful. It was a tiny detail to remember to include but it makes all the difference, especially when you've written the context.
But now we turn sad because of Remus :( it's awful how difficult his life is, but I'm glad he has Dorcas to lean on. And making that such a stark contrast to Peter's lonliness is really powerful. Again, I feel so sorry for Peter but it's amazing to watch his downfall because you write it so incredibly and it's so realistic. AND WHO IS AT THE END?! I still think maybe Yaxley? A Death Eater, at any rate. Gah!
Wonderful work, little Chi! Love you! <3
BIANCA! Thank you for stopping by, my love! *hug*
I'm so glad you loved the Order bits, it was the hardest part with this chapter. Yes, almost the end... :( But it wasn't THAT unhappy after all, was it?
So glad you liked Moody and found that line hilarious! And so happy you liked Frank as well!
I must admit that I love the scene of the pregnancies announcement too... And so glad you liked the bit about the picture!
Poor Remus, he has so much to deal with... And yes, poor Peter too... I'm so glad you find his downfall realistic, even if it's sad.
Thank you so much for the lovely review and for all your support with this story! Thou art the best!
The library is about to close so I can't leave a very long review, I'm sorry :( But I had to pounce on this as soon as I could after I saw it was posted!
Mad-Eye would’ve made grocery shopping sound dangerous. -- YES HE WOULD HAVE hahaha this is so funny.
Aww :( I mean I get that Peter can speak for himself, but Remus was only trying to help. Then again, that's probably a sore spot for Peter who's probably been talked over for his whole life. :-/
That must take so much for Remus to be able to face that kind of life, especially since he's been shunning the side of him that's a werewolf for so long, trying so hard to be 'normal', that facing the dark side of that, so to speak, and actually living with a colony of werewolves including the one who turned him, must be so hard emotionally. I'm glad he has Dorcas to lean on at least.
AND HE HAS TO DEAL WITH JERKS LIKE LEANDER. Omg, can I punch him please
Okay, I get that Leander's job puts him in a tough position but STILL. he can be less of a jerk.
Aw, Mary. It must be kind of bittersweet for her to see Lily so happy and getting married... to someone else. But the moment with her and Peter was really sweet as they learned that they have something in common.
THE CLIFF HANGER OMG IS THAT VOLDEMORT OR A DEATH EATER. HELP.
This was a great chapter and I loved it so much and I love you so much and you are amazing. Also, you are an amazing writer. Library is closing so I have to go! ♥ ♥ ♥
KRISTIN!!! I love you!!! I know I tell you all the time, but it still doesn't feel often enough... :P<p>So, first, sorry for taking such an abysmal time to answer this! And your review is wonderful as always, you have nothing to apologize for. *hug*</p><p>Ahahah! Moody would, wouldn't he? Glad you found that line funny! :D</p><p>I know... Remus only wanted to help... but from Peter's perspective it showed that Remus didn't see him as strong enough and pitied him, and that's something that Peter would hate more than anything.</p><p>Yes, poor Remus... that's really so hard for him... :(</p><p>And Leander... well... yes, he is a bit of a jerk, but it isn't really his fault, either...</p><p>Mary is such a sweety! I guess it was a bit bittersweet for her... glad you found that moment between her and Peter sweet.</p><p>Well, you know what happens next, so I don't really need to answer, right? Poor Peter, though...</p><p>Thank you so much for your lovely review! *wub*</p>
Hello my lovely Chiara!
I meant to stop by here earlier today, but got carried away with other things. Wow, this chapter! There's so much going on but it is easy to follow and oh, we get a little bit of Remus and Peter action! There are some amazing, lovely things happening in here, but also the beginnings of dark, twisted journeys for some. I love the interactons between Remus and his father, Sirius and Regulus, and the beautifully-written confusion Remus experiences regarding his feelings for Peter and Dorcas.
Heh! I didn't envy Remus's appointment as prefect; what would Sirius and James have to say on the matter? As expected, they took the mickey out of poor Remus. I would not have wanted to be in his shoes, having to manage his best friends whilst they did all sorts to pull favours and make his prefectual life difficult? Not on purpose, but I bet they did!
It must have been a nasty moment for John when Remus asked who Greyback was. How could he possibly tell his son the truth? An unpleasant situation for him to be in, but I thought he handled his son's confused feelings for Peter very well. I guess having a werewolf for a son means that he's learned how to be an accepting kind of guy if he wasn't already, right?
The spat between the Black brothers was quite painful to read, as I have quite the soft spot for Regulus (despite what I sort of put him through), and it marks the unhappy start of his descent into the dark world. I wonder even then whether he had reservations about the whole thing?
The set-up of the Marauders Map was hilarious "Walk less loudly"!! Everything sounds much louder when you're trying to creep around in the dark, doesn't it?!
Sirius is surprisingly thoughtful towards Remus when he confesses how he feels about Dorcas and Peter, and his confusion. I expected him to be much more cut-throat. I guess when the chips are down, he can be considerate :) And OOOOF!! WHAT an ending, with Peter and Remus kissing? I mean, technically, they kissed earlier in the chapter, but not with as much meaning behind it as they have now!
Another fantastic chapter, and you've kept me on the edge of my seat, broken my heart a little bit with Regulus, and made me laugh with some of the antics :) Looking forward to reading the next chapter!
Hello, lovely Brax!
Thank you for stopping by again, you have no idea how much all these reviews have made me happy!
I'm so glad you loved this chapter and all the characters' interactions in it, especially Remus' confusion about Peter and Dorcas. This is the first time I actually delve into LGBTQA themes, so I'm glad it worked.
Ahahah! Being a Prefect AND James' and Sirius' friend would drive anyone crazy, wouldn't it? I don't envy Remus either. :P
John is an amazing father! And definitely a very accepting man, too (I'm sure he already was before Remus was bitten). But, yes, that must have been pretty uncomfortable when Remus asked about Greyback...
I love Regulus, too (and your interpretation of him, as well)! I really think that the two brothers love each other, and I also think that Regulus doesn't completely believe in what he's taking part into, he does have reservations already.
I'm glad you liked their midnight adventure! :P Did I already say that I love my boys? :D
For some reason, I love to write Sirius as a match-maker or a love affair counsellor. I've done that a lot in different stories. Ahahah! He can be blunt and sometimes he can do stupid things as he tries to help his friends, but he can definitely be considerate when needed. :P
Yes, they kissed! :) So glad you liked the chapter, and I really hope I'll see you back again!
Much love to you,
I'm loving this story the more I delve into it. It really is beautifully and brilliantly written! I love how this chapter takes us from Remus not really wanting to have anything to do with James or Sirius, to the transformation of the marauders and the happiness of the wolf.
I'm not surprised at Remus hating the fact that he's covered up the truth about his lycanthropy from his friend. It must have really hurt him to do so, especially as he'd already (inadvertently) burned Peter once by abandoning him. He's clearly torn between the pain of secrecy and the horror of the unknown - what if everyone treats him as a monster if they find out? Poor Remus :( I love how Peter shows care and concern for his friend; it's a side not at all explored in canon, and I'm so glad for poor Peter's sake that he has good attributes! I REALLY love that you've developed Peter's character so well and given him such depth - he is such a complex person who is easy to ignore or treat as though he is two-dimensional.
After Remus has crossed James by calling him a coward, I love the little segments of the wolf that come through in the dormitory conversation, even if it is currently barking messages of suspicion! As the full moon is so close, it seems pertinent that the wolf's voice would resonate. It's beautifully shown here.
I love the conversation pertaining to the realisation that Remus is a werewolf! It's brilliantly written and made me giggle, especially the line "Hey, Remus, do you, perchance, transform into a huge, furry monster once a month?" Ha!! When they eventually confront Remus and he takes it badly initially, unfortunately running into Severus and Lily whilst looking for somewhere quiet to be alone, it made me laugh how Lily automatically assumed Potter was to blame for Remus's distress as soon as he showed up. When they have the conversation regarding animal transformations, I did wonder, at first, whether Remus thought they were willing to become werewolves for him, before it was revealed what they had in mind?! That would have been awkward for everyone, just imagine - "uh, no, we don't love you quite enough to become werewolves in your honour, but here's what we can offer instead" - maybe? Or maybe not. lol.
OMG, the chess set story! ALL the feels! That's just - ohh - adorable <3
But the genius, stand-out part of this chapter for me, was the Poetry Draught raining down in the Great Hall. All those fantastic lines. McGonagall talking in rhyme?! OMG, I was CRYING with laughter!! Just brilliant!!
I so, so loved this chapter! Superb :)
Welcone back, Brax! :)
Aww... stop... you make me blush... Siriusly...
Poor Remus, indeed. It is so hard to lie to his only friend, but at the same time he fears his reaction too much. Peter really does care for him but he just can't understand, the poor child. And yes, he couldn't be completely bad, could he? He is complex and I'm glad you are liking my portrayal so far.
I'm glad you liked the wolf, I have this headcanon about lycanthropy that the wolf is always present, as a part of the subconscious, or something like that, and just gets more prominent as the full moon comes closer. I'm so happy you like my interpretation of it.
Glad you liked their conversation, I love my boys. And yes, that line was hilarious! :D And yes, Lily! She would immediately blame James, wouldn't she? :P
Oh, that didn't even cross his mind, that Remus might think they wanted to become werewolves... what I thought Remus thought is that they somehow believed that they could spend the night with him and he would somehow recognize them and not hurt them, which doesn't make any sense at all, but they are Marauders, so they could be crazy that way... but, yes, that would have been definitely awkward... :P
So glad you liked the chess set bit!
Yes, I am quite proud of that prank! It was the hardest part to figure out in this chapter, but once I got the idea I was so excited about it! And I'm so, so, so glad you love McGonagall's lines! :D
Thank you so much for another fantastic review! You are wonderful!
Chiara! I'm here for our review swap :)
I'm really glad that you suggested I read this story for the swap, I've been wanting to read it since you mentioned to me about this story, because it seems like such an intriguing premise, and I really enjoyed this first chapter!
It's so, so unusual to get to read a story about Peter! I have to admit that I'm not his biggest fan - certainly when it comes to the fact that he chose to betray his friends and then, when he had the chance to put everything right, he sought to save his own skin. Anyway, I love the fact that you've chosen to focus on Peter and really explore his character here, as well as the way that he fits into the Marauders.
I loved the fact that you chose to start this story in childhood for both Peter and Remus. I think it was a great way to actually get your readers to engage with the characters, because - especially when it comes to Peter - it makes us much more sympathetic towarsd them and we see their innocence and youth. This chapter actually made me like Peter (I already loved Remus haha) which is so unusual and I think a great testament to your writing.
The way that you grew the relationship between the two boys was so lovely to read, from that first chance meeting in the park when the two boys decided to play together, to the way that they became best friends and played together so often. It seemed so natural for them to be good friends at this age, even though I've never really imagined any of the Marauders knowing each other before Hogwarts.
You wrote the scene when Remus had just been bitten and became so withdrawn so well. I felt so sorry for both of them - for the way that Remus felt at having just been infected with lycanthropy and for Peter losing his best friend because of it without really understanding.
Oh my goodness, it was so heartbreaking to read the later scenes in this chapter, when Remus was transforming into a werewolf and had to try and prepare alone - just a child - for the transformation and move away from his friends and the life that he knew. It was lovely to think that they're going to be reunited at Hogwarts and at least enjoy some more happiness with that final scene of the chapter!
Thank you so much for swapping, dear, and sorry for this very, very late reply... I'm so glad you decided to give this a try, it's the story I'm most proud of at the moment! :)
There aren't many Peter stories out there, and I honestly think that's a pity... I think he is such a complex and fascinating character to explore, even if not the most likeable... I'm glad you love the idea of focusing on him!
I'm glad starting from their childhood helped creating a bound with the characters, especially with Peter. The fact that I made you like him somehow really makes me happy. :) And I'm so, so glad you liked the way their friendship developed, too!
Yes, I know... Poor Remus... it's so horrible that he had to go through all that when he was so young. And poor Peter, as well, being sent away and abandoned without an explanaition. :( But they will reunite at Hogwarts, and things will be fine, at least for a little while.
Thank you so much for such a wonderful review! It was really so lovely to receive!
Love and hugs,
Hello, Chiara! I'm back for today's installment of "Liar"! I LOVED the first chapter, so I really looked forward to reading this one and catching up with what the marauders were up to.
I loved the section in the Hogwarts Express, where Peter is (reluctantly) introduced to his cousin, Alistair, who seems a rather dubious young man, as do his friends. It sets an early reason for Peter to have an association with the dark side, yet it's really seamlessly and convincingly written. I wonder whether Peter's cousin will play a role later in convincing Peter to turn to the Dark Lord (assuming you stick to canon? No complaints if you don't - I'll enjoy seeing where this story takes us).
The sorting hat scene was also something that I could imagine quite easily - and REmus being in Gryffindor gives Peter a perfect excuse to beg for that house (I struggle to see why else the hat would have put him there, TBH; his personal preference MUST have payed a part), so that was well-reasoned. I felt really sorry for Remus when Peter gave him a bit of a hard time initially at the feast, but they soon forgive each other.
The concept of Peter as an observer is also brilliant. It's a trait which fits him very well with what we know of him from canon. I like how he notices detail. It's a really nice touch. And he's starting to notice and observe things about Remus. It won't be long before he cottons onto Remus's secret, surely? BTW, David Gudgeon - is that a shout-out to Gladys (of Lockheart fan-letter fame)? :)
The last paragraph with Peter showing us his bold side and attempting to make friends with James and Sirius fills another gap form canon, and it's easily believable too.
I love love love the characters that are starting to develop in this story; how you've stayed faithful to their canon selves but have introduced little traits which complement what we already know abouot the boys is brilliantly executed, and I can't wait to read more! I'll be back to your AP and this story soon!
Hi again, dear Brax! So happy to see you back! :D
Alistair is quite a dubious young man... poor Peter, that wasn't a pleasant first trip to Hogwarts... Alistair might have a role in Peter's future decisions, but you'll discover it later...
I actually think Peter does have some Gryffindor bravery in him. He did become an Animagus for Remus, after all, and he did join the Order in the beginning, and those are quite brave acts. I've always thought there must have been other reasons if he betrayed his friends, not just fear. But I can't see him as a full Gryffindor, either, and I think his choice would have been taken into account. Besides, my canon expert Ysh (FlamingQuilltips) says Peter was a hatstall and I believe her :P Anyway, I'm glad you liked my version of Peter's sorting.
Peter is the kind of person who just stays aside and watches (or at least, that's how I imagine him). And I think it does make sense, both with his personality and with the fact that he becomes a spy later on. I'm glad you liked that section. As for figuring out Remus' secret... well... that you'll see later (you've already seen, actually...)
No, David Gudgeon is mentioned by Remus in PoA as a guy who almost lost an eye getting too close to the Whomping Willow, I honestly didn't make the connection with Gladys at all... I've always found that episode funny and I like to imagine David as a boy who would do dangerous and reckless things all the time on dares and stuff like that. I also wrote a little humour story about him for the last House Cup on HPFF and I've posted it here too. It's titled Don't do it, Dave! in case you wanted to check it out #ShamelessSelfPromotion
I did tell you Peter has some bravery! :P Glad you liked him approaching James and Sirius! :) I'm so happy you are enjoying the character development so far!
I really have to go to sleep now, but I'll be back to answer reviews tomorrow.
Thank you so much again and all my love,
Hello, Chiara! I thought it was about time I visited your AP to lavish your stories with some love :) As this one is a FROGS nominee in the Best Marauder category, I thought I'd start here.
This was a brilliant first chapter! The balance between exposition and dialogue has been struck well. You successfully introduced quite a number of characters here without it feeling crowded or forced, and their interactions flowed very naturally. And PETER!! Finally, Peter gets some recognition in FanFiction! This is like a momentous occasion for me; okay, I admit, I'm not a huge fan of how he behaves in canon, but he is so largely ignored in Marauder fics that it makes your story all the more refreshing to read. The conversations feel very age-appropriate; I can easily picture Remus and Peter as two young boys here. That's not an easy thing to do at all; it's quite difficult to get children's voices to sound "right" and I think you have done an excellent job with this aspect.
I felt terribly sorry for poor Remus, both when he was getting bullied by his so-called friends and then getting locked in a garage to transform. I'm not surprised he went to Hogwarts with the intention of keeping his lycanthropy tightly under wraps.
Peter's character is very interesting, because he seems a perfectly "normal" and quite kind-hearted little boy. I wonder whether there was some particular turn of events at Hogwarts to convert him to the dark side later, which you might reveal to us?
I'm quite excited to see where you are going to take us with this story, and I look forward to reading how Peter's character develops, especially. I really enjoyed this first chapter - thank you for a great read!
Hey, Brax! *hug*
I'm finally here answering all these lovely reviews, and I feel so bad for taking so long... sorry... I'm so glad you decided to check this out (and to keep reading). It is one of the stories I'm more proud of!
Thank you! I'm glad you liked this first chapter! I'm particularly glad you found that exposition and dialogue were well balanced, because I'm not very good at description and I tend to put too much dialogue, instead.
Yes! Peter!!! I'm glad you are thrilled to see him getting some space for once. He is such a complex and fascinating character, I so love writing him. (And yes, I understand that you are not a fan of him in canon, I guess nobody is, but I do love my little Petey...) And thank you, I love writing children and I'm glad you thought their voices sounded right for their age.
Poor little Remus, it always breaks my heart to think how terrible it must have been for him as a child... yes, with what happened with Duncan, he wouldn't want to let other kids know...
Peter is normal at this point, but not perfect. He can be quite selfish and he can hold a grudge, and I think it does show already, even if only a little bit. How and why he'll turn to the dark side... well, you'll find out reading on...
Thanks to you for such a great review! So much love!