Reviews For Actions Speak Louder than Words


Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 03 Jan 2020 12:10 PM · For: Broken

Hiya, I'm here with your requested review.

 

Firstly, this was awesome, so I don't want to miss anything! It's odd that you opened this with Rose having a panic attack and her noting that they're worse in the morning - I have panic attacks and they're worse for me in the mornings, so that really resonated with me. Also, the depiction of how it feels, especially not being able to catch the moment until it was too late, was perfect. It was all written so well throughout the chapter, with her repeating the same things over and over again to try and concentrate on something else. I thought you did an amazing job with that.

 

What is this mystery that happened in the cabin that kicked all this off? I can't wait to find out what is causing Rose to have these awful panic attacks, especially that it has been going on for two years just after that photo was taken - poor Rose and why she kept the picture out if it caused her so much pain. This really caught me: I could have fought harder…  I should have been clever enough to escape… - other than the fact that it sounds pretty scary and the basis of the story I'm guessing, Rose said she should have "been clever enough", which really intrigues me. I can't wait to see what that is all about.

 

I was quite taken aback that Rose, Albus and Scorpius were all sorted into Ravenclaw and I love it. It's a really unusual plot point and I think it's great! I loved how you described Albus as having to be collected by a prefect as he was so shocked, the poor thing! And it was utterly hilarious that McGonagall actually fell out of her chair! She usually puts on a calm front, but I reckon this could actually happen. Can you imagine the whole Great Hall watching that happen?!

 

Anyway, this was a fantastic opening chapter, just teasing what's to come without spelling it all out for the reader. It immediately makes me want to click the next chapter! I'm looking forward to finding out where this is going to go!

 

Tasha x



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 28 Dec 2019 01:39 AM · For: Big Break

Hi, Beth! It took me a little longer than I was planning to get those thoughts together.

I love all the little details about Rose getting set up to place her daughter in the Ministry nursery during the day. It's always neat to pick certain details that make the magical world easy to relate to the mundane. Placing a kid into daycare, especially an infant, feels somewhat like entering a top-secret, high-security facility. And not without good reason.

I also love how a baby reduces these hardened Aurors to grinning, babbling fools. So many bad things have happened to Rose, Scorpius and their friends in this story. It's nice to see something that brings so much joy to all of them.

I got to meet with Astatine and the Aurors on a regular basis. -- Let's see whether anything has changed during your story's hiatus... Nope, still don't trust Astatine. There's plainly someone on the inside, and I feel like Healer Lawrence is just a little too obvious a choice. It's like you want us to suspect him, and you are devious.

I nearly broke down completely on the first day when she reached for me and let out a forlorn sob, her little mouth twisted in a serious pout. -- Story checks out. It's a universal experience.

Harry's really at the top of his game in this chapter. He needs something to keep Rose and Albus at a distance from this case that they both have too much emotionally invested in. Particularly Rose, who now has so many other things to worry about. So he puts them on the case of the Malfoys' murder, which has plainly become tied up in the whole affair with Stannous. He's keeping them involved, but not involved. Like I said, top of his game.

If it was anyone other than his cousin -- a person who's known him for as long as either of them can remember -- trying to work with Albus in this chapter, I think they would have slugged him. The guy is so moody and grumpy and just... difficult.

The third thing I love about this chapter is how you use small details to advance the plot. Not many authors -- or, for that matter, many Aurors or Healers -- would take the time to really get into the minutia of how curse scars are unique to the person who cast the curse. It's a really great little detail that moves the story along without needing any contrivances to make Rose and Albus realize what's happening. And then you take it a step further with Albus's extremely well-reasoned deduction that their were multiple killers involved. It's like a more adult, very gruesome version of an Encyclopedia Brown mystery. The power of facts and deductive reasoning.

I'm quite taken with the idea of Draco and Astoria dying rather than telling Stannous where he could find Scorpius. Parental sacrifice is a running theme throughout the Harry Potter story and it's one of the strongest expressions of the power of love. Once again, it seems that it's given the world what it needs to defeat the bad guy.

Lastly, in the final few paragraphs, Albus is about to go tearing off, chasing a hunch. And Rose doesn't let him do it! I wanted to hug-tackle her. If there's one thing the world of Harry Potter needs -- badly -- it's friends who keep friends from nearly getting themselves killed while chasing hunches. Harry could have used more friends like that. Just saying.

Very cool chapter and I'm thrilled that you're working on this story again! Hope to see more in the near future!

-Dan

 



Name: copilot (Signed) · Date: 17 Jun 2019 10:00 PM · For: Bent

honestly it was such a long time since i originally reviewed chapter 1 i went back and re-read it and some things def stuck (i'm re-doing 1 and doing 2 for the first time because i can) 

the mystery aspect is absolutely delicious like, CHEF KISS delicious. since the photo is like a portkey for rose, i can't help but wonder if the perpetrator (assuming, of course, that it was just one and not a group, because lets be real, people are terrible) is in it. 

and oh my LORD homie cannot catch a break 

re: britpicking i was a bit caught out by "a long draw on my drink" - but that's it and so far the pacing is BEAUTIFUL and the mystery... well, i want to read more and find out what the frick frack is goin on! especially since the man apparated while in a full body bind. 

also scorp is the MVP in this chapter and im not taking feedback on that 

- love, emily 



Name: you-make-me-wander (Signed) · Date: 16 Jun 2019 04:18 PM · For: Bereft

Hi Beth. Back for Chapter 4 and BvB's Blue Team!

It hurts reading about Scorpius’ guilt over his parents’ death. I liked the way you all the aspects of it: the grief, the blame, the depression and the sadness… You translated his emotions painfully well, and the way he was almost disconnected, especially when he didn’t really connect with the one family member he had left. And that’s not to mention how haunting it must be to have that last memory of his parents like that, more so at such a young age… Poor Scorpius. Thankfully Rose and Albus came in to save the day, and to bring some peace of mind to a rather hurting Scorpius.

And on that note, something else I remember liking about this story (and, of course, I’m still enjoying now as I re-read) is how close together all three of them are. It isn’t so common to read stories that already start with them being friends, and particularly close ones, and I think it’s refreshing and that it gives another layer to the plot itself.

Something I’ve noticed, at least thus far, is how you seem to try and balance the chapters. If one is particularly dispirited, either in that chapter or the next you’ll light up the mood a little. In this chapter, I think the mentions of Uncle Phil’s panicking over having wizards in the house are hilarious, poor guy, not to mention Ron’s burst (and even though that was a little exaggerated, it’s so Ron I have no doubt he would react like that lol).

Can’t wait to continue the story ^^
Susana



Name: you-make-me-wander (Signed) · Date: 12 Jan 2019 12:32 PM · For: Blown Away

Hi Beth. Finally back for Chapter 3 :)


 


I like the beginning, where it shows Scorpius’ worry about Rose and having to leave her to deal with her own emotions for the night after what happened. His reservations are notorious, but his choosing to abide to her will shows his own maturity and respect for her.


 


And oh gosh, I’d totally forgotten about what happened to Draco and Astoria in this story! As soon as the flashback started I remembered, and it’s so strange because the first time I followed your story, I was reading it for Scorose mostly but Draco truly is one of my favorite characters, and ever since The Cursed Child came out I’ve fallen with love with Draco and Astoria as a couple and now going back into your story…


 


Well, I feel for Scorpius, especially having to witness the brutality of what happened. Your description of that moment feels so heartbreakingly real, with everything he’s experiencing as he lays eyes on the scene but that he wants to refuse to believe. 


 


I’m eager to find out more about why Astoria tried to warn Scorpius that it wasn’t safe, how Scorpius coped with his parents’ deaths, and how it’ll tie with the plot in the present.



Name: you-make-me-wander (Signed) · Date: 28 Nov 2018 09:23 AM · For: Bent

Hi Beth. Here for BvB's Blue Team and Chapter 2!


It's rather unfortunate for Rose, I think, that things go down on a night when she decided to go out when usually she doesn't. Worse, after she decides to stay at the party after she's already there, once she feels comfortable enough with Scorpius by her side. I'm sure it'll have her feeling insecure in the future, and given what she's already been through (and from what I can remember, what will happen next as well), I have to admit I feel a little sorry for her.


I'm glad she has Scorpius to tunr to, though. She seems to trust him more implicitly than even Selenia or Albus, and it's sweet that he can calm her down so easily and that he obviously already cares for her a great deal.


Another thing I'm enjoying is Scorpius and Rose's cumplicity, even if for now they're just friends, and that she can open up with him when with the others she's still having a harder time doing so.


After what happened, and especially when Rose's mood had lifted a little and she was starting to enjoy her time out, that guy appeared and ruined everything. It would already be unpleasant having that guy advance on anyone in normal circumstances, but given what Rose has went through, it's no wonder that she feels like she can't breathe and enters a stage of somewhat shock when she can't react. I'm glad that Scorpius was there for her this time.


Also, concerning her attacker, I'm eager to get to know his plot again and everything revolving Rose's kidnapping. I only remember some parts of the plot so it'll be good to get to know it again, and to see how you write Rose and the others dealing with what's to come, especially when so many secondary characters make appearances.


Lastly, I'd just like to point out that this was a good contrast with the 1st chapter, as the other one is calmer and this one is more chaotic. Plus, in this chapter alone, there's the clear difference between the commotion of the party and when the attacker appears, with the softer moments between Scorpius and Rose, which I loved.


I'll be coming soon for Chapter 3 :)


- Susana



Name: godslayer (Signed) · Date: 18 Oct 2018 05:55 PM · For: Broken

(Sorry this is short I just really struggled)

Ok, initial reactions, really well written. The little mantra, the self-assigned imperatives, “Get up, wash, get dressed, class, rounds, study.” just really hits home and breaks your heart. The use of second person to really draw the reader into the story is incredibly well done. The hook is a good one, with the primary (for me) being What happened to Rose? And then the rest of the questions follow: Why’s she having these panic attacks? Who was involved? Was Scorpius involved? So many questions! A good start to any mystery is definitely questions!



Name: you-make-me-wander (Signed) · Date: 17 Oct 2018 10:42 AM · For: Broken
Hey Beth. Fellow Ravenclaw here for the BvB's Blue Team =)
I've read part of this story before, and I've briefly reviewed it on AO3 a few times, but I haven't followed it for a while now (RL has a way to dampen my reading expectations like I've never seen…). Nevertheless I'm excited to get back into it, and leave you proper reviews this time ^^ although please bear with me if I won't remember the entirety of the plot very well.
I really like how the repetition of her mantra sets the tone of the story, and also reflects Rose's state of mind. The description of the panic attack really feels relatable, it's so well written. It's like you're there with Rose, experiencing the same feelings and emotions. She's just going throught the motions, barely hanging on, and it's perfectly notable in this chapter.
The fact that she sort of blames herself for what happened, thinking that she could have done more to either escape or avoid the situation altogether is heartbreakingly put. You can feel how torn she is and how she feels that her present is a reflection of what happened - and she thinks she let happen - in the past.  Worse even that she's tried her best since then to appear as if nothing had changed and as if she isn't hollow inside. It takes a willpower that not everyone has, and even though Rose feels like she's hit rock bottom, it reveals already just how strong a character she is.
It shows in that she's kept the photograph of the four of them, a constant reminder of what was and isn't anymore. It's bittersweet, yet I really liked that Rose managed to smile and remember something good and that she's fond of without it hurting so much.
It's a little curious how Rose kind of "blames" (I don't mean this in a bad way but I can't remember a better word lol) that she got all the attributes from her father that she didn't really need or that couldn't help her escape what happened, instead of the qualities that could have made a difference.
I look forward to coming back for chapter 2!
Favourite quote: "You are left with numbness and nothingness, because that is your mind's only defense against the alternative."


Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 02 Sep 2018 12:15 PM · For: Broken

Hi Beth! Here with your requested review!

 

Right from the start, I'm sucked into this! This was a really interesting way to begin the story, by going right into Rose's panic attack. But since we don't really know much about her or what has happened to her, it really draws you in. I want to know more and I'm curious about what happened!

 

It's also an interesting detail when she says that everyone thinks she's fine and that she's convinved everyone nothing is wrong. As a reader, I can see that everything is clearly not fine, so I'm curious to see how she's played that off to everyone else. 

 

I really liked the origin story of Rose's friendship with Selenia. It must have been comforting for her and Albus to find someone who didn't know everything about them and their families! It's neat to see them as Ravenclaws too! I'm really curious about the picture though--how exactly does someone get taken on the day of graduation from Hogwarts? I'm excited to read on to find out!

 

I love your writing style! It's so descriptive without being overly so! It's easy to fall into, and like I said, sucks me into, so I want to know more about Rose and the cabin. I think the flow is really nice and easy to follow and having this repetitive mantra that Rose is also following gives this chapter an interesting theme to follow. I'm excited to get into the story more to really get into the mystery :)

-Sarah



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 29 Aug 2018 11:26 PM · For: Blown Away

Hey Beth! This is the third of your requested reviews.

 

Wow... That's all I can really say right about this chapter.

 

At first, my "wow" was the sudden point of view shift. It was unexpected but I was excited to read Scorpius' thoughts... And he's so smited with Rose! And he also alludes to some things that raise more questions. What does he hesitate to recall (besides the horrific event that unfurls later this chapter)? Why is the Tshirt so important? What's its history between Rose and Scorpius? And to what extent does Albus complicate that?

 

My second "wow" is at Draco Malfoy. What is he so distant? In the HP books, he's known to be cold. As a father, I imagine him following Lucius' footsteps, but only to a certain extent. I'm glad that Scorpius got along with Astoria so well. I also like how he cooks with his mum. It breaks all sorts of gender roles and adds great depth to him.

 

My third and final and by far the biggest "wow" is the ending. I had a sinking feeling when Scorpius comes home... but I was hoping that I was wrong. Even though I was a little miffed at Draco earlier in the chapter, I am upset that he's gone now. There's so much more development to happen between him and his son. But it's tragically cut short, and Scorpius is left not only with those haunting images but with his final, frustrating interaction with his parents. This event brings up many more questions: why were they killed? And by whom? What does this mean for Scorpius, back when he was 15 and now?

 

You have such a complex, intriguing thing happening in this novel, and it's only the third chapter. Great work! I look forward to reading more in the future!



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 29 Aug 2018 11:11 PM · For: Bent

Hi Beth! This is your second of your requested reviews.

 

I'm glad I had the privilege of reading this chapter immediately after the first chapter. They pair well together. The first was a quiet moment, and in this one, Rose is thrusted into a busy, noisy atmosphere. 

 

You do a great job introducing the major and supporting characters. Sometimes, big casts can get jumbled, but I had an easy time following along--and I love how different everyone is from each other. I think a large part of this is how you introduce everyone through Rose and Scorpius' chemistry. They are so cute together! Fan girl aside, they resonate and play off each other, and I can feel Rose's mood lightening because he's there. There's such comfort when someone you get along so well with (romantic interest or otherwise) can help you relax! 

 

Then... that guy appears. My stomach churned at his advances. I really felt for Rose in that moment. I'm relieved that Scorprius, James, and Dom come quickly to her aid, but I'm also slightly terrified that this wizard Apparated while in a Body Bind Curse! And Rose drops another hint to what happened to her: kidnapping. Why was she kidnapped? How did she escape? Who took her? Did anyone resuce her?

 

The way Scorpius comforts Rose turns the mood of this chapter back into a calmer, safer one. And despite the gravity of what's just occurred, you insert a bit of humor into the mix with Al bursting in on them both topless! I laughed at that, and it was a clever way to demonstrate everyone's personalities and to show the ways in which they care.

 

And the ending: Rose felt something. After admitting in the first chapter that she was numb for two years. This is the biggest reason why I'm glad I got to read this chapter straight away after the first. I am so interested in what's going to happen next! Well done.



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 29 Aug 2018 10:59 PM · For: Broken

Hey Beth! This is the first of your requested reviews!

 

You open this novel in an incredibly vulnerable moment for Rose. Panic attacks are horrible things, and immediately I empathize with her. Whatever haunts her seems to be near the front of her mind on a consistent basis. In this chapter, I like that you don't give us all of the details of what happened. You've left me thinking of what could possibly have happened to Rose, a mystery! I am very intrigued to read on.

 

Also, the way you include everyone's Sorting is well done in a flashback. It's the gensis of what I assume are the main relationships within this novel. The Fearsome Foursome: Rose, Albus, Scorpius, and Selenia. It's interesting how you have Albus and Scorpius as Ravenclaws; I can't wait to get to know them more to see your interpretation of them. (And Dom and James, they seem to be a riot, too!)

 

The repitition of Rose's checklist is powerful. For someone coping with trauma, she seems almost mechanical. But that's how she's surviving: top of her class, still able to mostly function socially. Her guilt is gut wrenching, and I'm left hoping that she'll soon be on the path to healing. Well done in conveying such a complex character at a vulnerable moment. You've laid the seeds to what seems to be an intriguing plot!



Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 30 Mar 2018 11:45 PM · For: Broken

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

REVIEW TAG!

 

Ooh! Chapter one and a mystery already! Considering all the clues we've had so far, it makes sense to introduce it in the first chapter, since it is such a big part of Rose's life. Right now, it's her defining characteristic, except that she obviously have a great deal of love for her friends and family.

 

I really liked the way you wrote about her panic attack. I hope that we get to see her dealing with her anxiety in an "ordinary" way as well. From experience, it can sneak up on you at the most inconvenient of times, but it's not always so bad. You can be fighting the battle on the inside whilst still maintaining a happy front to the rest of the world - which Rose has already mentioned, I believe.

 

And from the chapter titles, I assume that we're going to be getting different points of view! Woohoo! Nice start!



Name: BellaLestrange87 (Signed) · Date: 30 Mar 2018 06:58 PM · For: Brutal Agony

*review transferred from HPFF*

This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

Beth. How could you? *sobs* Not Selenia! *grabs box of Kleenex*

I really liked your writing here; you could really tell just how shocked and upset everyone was. A lot of Rose's narration in this chapter seemed really impersonal (at least to me) and I felt that it really showed the shock and grief that she was going through, and how she was trying to cope by focusing on her job, mechanically, and on tending after all the other patients.

I feel like this is the beginning of the end of the novel; Selenia's been murdered *sits in puddle of tears* and Rose's pregnancy is further along. If I might make a prediction, I think you'll end it with a cliffhanger, with Rose's/baby's fate unknown, and then make us wait for Book 2/sequel, with the prophecy to deal with.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter - hopefully nobody else dies (well, nobody we like, anyways; Stannous could die and I'd be really happy) - and this was a wonderful chapter, as always!

~Olivia



Name: BellaLestrange87 (Signed) · Date: 30 Mar 2018 06:48 PM · For: Brewing

*review transferred from HPFF*

 

This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

YOU UPLOADED ANOTHER CHAPTER YES THANK YOU THANK YOU (I need to finish the next chapter of Seek and Chase to thank you)

It makes me really happy to see that Rose is back to work and isn't beating herself up over the death of Selenia (*glare*). To be honest, I'd forgotten entirely about her medical records assignment. I'm hoping that it will lead into Stannous being caught and sent to prison for the rest of forever. *winks*

I'm really happy that Albus, like Rose, hasn't been torturing himself about Selenia's death. I'm glad that he's trying to get back to work so he can focus on catching Stannous.

But Scorpius. Beth, what are you doing to Scorpius? He seems really stressed out and anxious about everything. I just wish he could get a break.

What. The ending. What. I knew that Albus would find something but I was not expecting that. What. Draco and Astoria's bodies were placed so that they appeared to have died in a car accident? What. Why.

I must know why. New chapter? *offers cookies*

~Olivia



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 28 Feb 2018 09:23 AM · For: Bottles and Blankets

Hi, Beth!

 

Whew! Glad you took all of my nudging as a compliment. ;) That wasn't a sure thing.

 

It's really nice to have a chapter every so often that slows the story down and makes the characters human and relatable. This was the perfect way to do that for Rose. I was on the Dad Side of the equation, but I recognized so many of Rose's feelings based on the time when my kids were infants.

 

"I was afraid that something was wrong with me.  I was supposed to be ecstatic and happy and overjoyed to finally have a healthy, lovely baby — but I just couldn’t make myself feel elated." - Perfect summary of that insecurity that lots of new mothers feel! It's such a strange concept, this widely-held belief that babies produce magical "feel-good waves" that overcome all of the stress, exhaustion, worry and social isolation that comes from being a new parent. It just isn't that kind of party.

 

"I was so envious of all of them, and then the envy spread to guilt.  I wasn’t supposed to miss going to work.  I was supposed to want to be with my baby." - Again, this is so common among new mothers. This concept that new mothers should sacrifice all sense of personal ambition and achievement as an act of devotion to the child. It's so at odds with the reality that, as the child grows up, it will be these ambitions and achievements that make you a good role model to your children. Humans are weird creatures.

 

The way you brought the chapter around to conclusion was nicely done. Weasley family support carries the day!

 

I'm really glad to see you coming back to the story! Can't wait to see what's next for my Rose and Scorpius!

 

-Dan

 



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2018 07:04 AM · For: Bitter

OK YAY MORE ABOUT ALBUS. I was looking forward to something like this; I think I mentioned earlier that I felt his character was a little one-dimensional, and this chapter definitely proved me wrong there. 

 

Your characterization of Albus is rather different than what I’ve read before. Love the idea of him being in Ravenclaw, clearly a superior house ;) I also like that he isn’t a totally rational Ravenclaw. I think that’s a stereotype of Ravenclaws that really falls with the “we’re-just-nerds” stereotype, when in fact, we are so much more complicated than that. Albus’s personality is also rather different than what I’ve read before. At first, I thought he was a bit of a cad because of his flirtatious womanizer ways—and I suppose he still is a little bit like that? But if anything, I see some of Ron in him in his temper and desire to prove himself. Speaking of, I think that’s a wonderful character nuance, because ya so true—he has a lot to live up to.

 

I’m so curious about this tension between Albus and Harry. During the entire duel, all I could think was: WOW THAT ESCALATED FAST. (Oh, and that the fuel was extraordinarily well written, which is so impressive because those fast action-packed scenes can be difficult to write well). I can understand why Harry wanted to make an example out of Albus, and I can definitely understand why Albus would be irritated—so that’s why it confused me that the situation refused as quickly as it started, that Albus acknowledged that his father was right. I wonder if there will be lingering tensions between them. That would be an interesting thematic idea: father-son tensions. 

 

I love that Scorpius calls Harry Harry by the way hahha! To me that shows the degree of familiarity between Scorpius and the Potters and how he’s really integrated himself into the Potters—how the Potters are a second family to him, which is honestly rather sweet. 

 

I found it to be an interesting choice to tell us abot Scorpius and Rose’s weekend together retrospectively, especially because it sounds somfreakin’ adorable. I’m just wondering why you wanted to do that? I certainly saw merits; this allowed you to focus on the aftermath, on the Scorpius/Albus dynamic, and inject a little drama into Scorpius’s revelation of his feelings (though I think that if Rose doesn’t know them already, she’s pretty freaking blind hahaha).

 

Thank you for another fantastic chapter! This story is so compelling and never fails to make me laugh and smile and think. (The last scene made me giggle hahah). Onto the next chapter!  



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2018 09:53 PM · For: Besotted

OKAY so the beginning of this chapter almost made me cry. The graphic depiction of Rose's scars made me sympathize for her so much; this was the first time, I think, that we were given a really direct hint at what she went through. Whoever this Stannous guy is, I really hope that he shows up later in the novel so that someone can kick him in the balls, and so that he can pay for what he deserved. What I hate about Stannous most, and what I found to be most tragic, is the effect that he had on Rose's self-esteem—her insecurities about her scars were so sad, but so realistic. They're especially tragic because they show me that Rose isn't comfortable with herself anymore, when the previous chapter showed a Rose that was vivacious and happy with herself. So yeah. The beginning of this chapter was super emotional to read and now I want to give Rose a big bear hug <3

 

This chapter made my shipper heart go CRAZY. I loved the revelation about Scorpius and Rose's sexual past and I loved that he hasn't been with anyone since Rose; I think, to me, that reflects again how Rose acts like a stabilizing influence for Scorpius, which makes their relationship even more endearing. 

 

Scorpius and Rose's conversation really makes me sympathize with Scorpius even more. His regrets about his treatment of his mother really broke my heart; I can imagine him replaying that conversation, as you described in the previous chapter, thinking of everything he could have said, everything he wanted to say. Scorpius's anger at his father and his claims that he's just like his father were really interesting, since I noticed earlier in the novel that he is actually a lot like Draco in certain aspects. But I appreciate his self-awareness and his desire to change, which makes him different and better than Draco. 

 

I liked the little touches about Scorpius's character, too, how he's always so proper. Honestly, drunk!Scorpius can be so hilariously adorable. I also have to commend you on how well you handled the switch from humor to seriousness; the conversation started out as sort of amusing, and quickly shifted to verious serious and sad, and ended on a really tender note—and it all flowed so seamlessly. It's really hard to do that, and I think the best part is that that sort of flow is very authentic and realistic. I don't think I've commented on this before, but your dialogue is really spot-on realistic. Personally, I struggle with writing really realistic dialogue, so I'm very impressed :) 

 

Overall, this was a really fantastic chapter. Excited to read the next one! <3



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2018 09:41 PM · For: Bereft

The chapter summary made me laugh hahaha.

 

This chapter was really touching after the previous chapter. What I really liked about this chapter is that we really got to see Rose through Scorpius's eyes; through his eyes, we see the best part of hers. Rose is so wholesomely sweet and sincere. Her rambling about how difficult it was to get there was so endearing. And I really loved how she handled Ron; that felt like a very Hermione-like response :D Particularly, seeing Rose through Scorpius's eyes shows me how different Rose is now, and I'm really curious to know what happened to Rose to cause such a change her. She doesn't seem as vivacious anymore, though she's definitely just as loving. 

 

I really liked seeing more of Rose and Scorpius's dynamic. My heart broke a little when Scorpius was so surprised that Rose and Al had come to visit him, like... they're his best friends, and that he didn't expect to come see him after his parents died just shows me that he's really used to being alone. (Which makes me want to give Scorpius a huge hug—my sad, precious baby <3). One thing that I would've loved to see more of was Scorpius and Albus's interaction—though I did like the line about Albus being a wordless emotional and physical support, in the way that only a best friend can be. That's such a true sentiment; my sister is my best friend, and I find that in times of need, her presence, without words or consolations, just her presence, can help so much. 

 

I'm not a fan of Ron's reaction; I felt that his characterization was fairly realistic, though I'm glad that Rose pointed out that he, of all people, should understand why Rose and Al came to Scorpius's side because I was thinking that during his outburst. I also understand where Ron is coming from, the overprotective-dad-side that is maximized considering Ron's already sort of volatile temper.

 

One thing that touches me is the fact that Scorpius still calls his dad "Death Eater Dad", even after his father's death... that just breaks my heart, and shows me how terse their relationship was, that even after death, Scorpius still thinks poorly of his father. 

 

Also that whole "kitchen accident" explosion feels like such a "sweep-it-under-the-rug" explanation. I bet there's something else going on there... :) I love the mystery elements of this novel; they're intertwined so neatly with the characters' interpersonal drama, and it makes this novel so exciting to read. 

 

Loved this chapter. Well done, as always! <3



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2018 09:25 PM · For: Blown Away

YAY SCORPIUS POV. This was a pleasant surprise! 

 

I really enjoyed reading from his POV; this chapter led me to sympathize with Scorpius even more. After reading about his childhood and family dynamics, honestly, I felt like hugging him because he honestly is such a cinnamon roll. I liked the description of his family dynamics; I think it offered insights on why Scorpius is attached to the Potters, and I wonder if loyalty to Albus and the Potters, as they seem to be his second family in a way, would prevent him from taking action on his obvious (and very sweet) feelings for Rose. 

 

One thing I've been noticing throughout the novel thus far is how much the characters' personality traits are influenced by their parents' personalities. For example, Molly, in the previous chapter, seems like such a carbon-copy of Percy, though perhaps with a little more flirtatious-ability ahaha. Reading Scorpius's confrontation with his father, I was really reminded of Draco's petulance and his firm, unyielding beliefs; I really like seeing that Scorpius's beliefs are, unlike his father, more accepting, though. And I like that he doesn't shy away from bringing up topics that are obviously uncomfortable, like Draco's previous prejudices and behaviors. That makes him even more admirable. At the same time, that outburst, though admirable, felt petulant and capricious, and to me, hinted at his temper.

 

I also liked the flashback scene with Michael. OK, being perfectly honest, I didn't really like Scorpius's treatment of Michael; it seemed reflective of Draco's tendencies to use people, which Scorpius is obviously doing with Michael. (He even admitted it!). I mean, Michael just wanted to hang out with Scorpius and is rebuffing seemed so indifferent and apathetic... it really did remind me of Draco's mannerisms to some degree, and sort of reminded me that Scorpius isn't perfect by any means, showing me more negative sides of his personality. And even though I wasn't Scorpius's bigggest fan after his dismissive treatment of Michael, I still felt so sympathetic for him at the scene describing the sight of his parents' bodies dead. Not gonna lie, I almost teared up for Scorpius, especially because the last conversation he had with his parents was a fight... I can imagine that the angst from this conversation is a source for lots of his negative personality traits, like that uncontrollable temper. (That scene was also really well-described, and I seriously want to hug Scorpius now. <3). 

 

Since you've asked about characterization specifically, I'll say this now: you've developed a wonderful character in Scorpius. His personaliy is a mulit-layered mix of fiery aggression (that can be protective and petulant), cool indifference and superiority, and sweet and gentle tenderness that only seems to come out only around Rose. Overall, he seems unsteady and morally ambiguous in all areas except one: Rose. I really love that—you've created such a fascinating character in Scorpius. 

 

This was such a poignant chapter; I'm really excited to read the next chapter. Well done, as always!



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2018 09:09 PM · For: Bent

Hey Beth! I'm here to (finally) complete your requested reviews in my review thread, even though it's been several months since you requested (oops—so sorry about that!)

 

So I really liked this chapter as a whole! I liked the introduction to the minor characters and I can already see their personalities developing. I find Al and James's personalities to be extraordinarily similar though—overprotective womanizers. It's slightly endearing, though mostly i'm hoping to see more layers to their characterization in the following chapters, especially as Rose's secret is revealed. I really liked learning about Molly too and think that her relationship with Wolfram (which is, in my opinion, a very fitting name for the character you've created) is sort of adorable. I think that all of these characters have already strong, well-defined personalities, and I'm looking forward to exploring their relationships with Rose.

 

I really loved meeting Scorpius for the first time. I can already tell that he is a good, stabilizing influence for Rose, being "the only person" who can calm her nerves (which is actually super sweet). But I really like that you didn't shy away from his personality flaws, like his temper; I like the idea that Rose can also act as stabilizing influence for Scorpius. I think that's a sign of a very realistic and shippable dynamic: where two characters help each other be better—not perfect, but just perfect. That last moment between Rose and Scorpius was honestly such a tender and sweet moment: two broken people comforting each other. I loved it, and already ship them. 

 

The chapter felt a little slow as we were being introduced to the minor characters, so the sudden switch in action when the guy came onto Rose was rather jarring at first. I really appreciate how well you handled that; I think it's befitting that it was jarring for us, the readers, as it was clearly jarring for Rose. I also really liked the elements of mystery you move into this character; that was really unexpected. I'd thought that that character would be a minor character, but obviously, since he can apparate even when Petrified, he's more than that. I can already tell that this story is one of those stories that's going to surprise me often and be rather unpredictable, which makes it all the more exciting! 

 

Overall, this was a great chapter. Characterization-wise, I felt that maybe James and Al felt too one-dimensional, but this was my first experience with them and I'm sure more layers will be added in the next chapters. Excited to read the next chapter! :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2017 01:56 AM · For: Beautiful

I'm really enjoying the easy, effortless friendship between Scorpius and Albus.  I know that Scorpius is fairly close to James, too, having lived with him for a while, but Scorpius and Albus are more like brothers in some ways.  They don't feel the need to hide who they are around each other, and their interactions are always so easy and comfortable.

 

Also, your Albus is a really different characterisation of him to any of the others that I've read - much more openly affectionate and happy in his relationship than we often see.  He doesn't seem to be suffering with the same insecurities that most portrayals of Albus do, and I really like reading your version.

 

I loved reading the scene that followed - I don't really know what to say about it, except that you managed to convey how much love and deep affection there really is between Scorpius and Rose.  It was slow and soft and gentle, and yet at the same time deeply passionate.  I thought that the point that Rose saw Scorpius's scar with the eyes of a lover, rather than a Healer, was particularly poignant.

 

That last line was wonderful - it captured so much in so few words; though Rose has said that they have a problem not talking in the past, here it seems that they've opened up enough to each other that they don't always need the words to communicate how they feel, and that was such a wonderful insight into their relationship.

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2017 01:42 AM · For: Beloved

When Scorpius woke up and Rose was nowhere to be found at the beginning of this chapter, I was so worried.  Honestly, I think I'm starting to get paranoid that even the corners of Grimmauld Place hide an unknown threat.  This is what you're doing to me with this story, Beth.

 

I was glad that Scorpius got the Patronus back from Albus to let him know that they were both okay, but I thought you did a great job of lacing Scorpius's anxiety throughout the first scenes of the chapter so that it infected us, as well, and we only really felt safe again once we knew where Rose was.

 

So Scorpius doesn't think that Samara doesn't seem like the right fit for James?  I may be taking this as confirmation of my theory that she's somehow involved.

 

Rose and Scorpius finally told each other that they love each other!  Yay!  It was so cute to see that, and then... I mean, I can understand why Rose had to tell Scorpius about it, so that there wasn't anything between them going forward, but at the same time I know why it had that effect on Scorpius.

 

The forest scene was so unexpected but I really enjoyed it - the last person I thought that Scorpius would see there would be Ron.  I liked the fact we got an insight into how fiercely protective he is of his daughter, but also that maybe he's starting to understand Scorpius a bit better, when Scorpius asks if his dad had been the one to torture Hermione.  I found that scene really interesting and kind of heart-warming.  I'm actually really glad that Ron didn't drag out his anger over a longer period, so that he's here for Rose - it shows that he's learnt and grown a lot since we saw him when he was younger.

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2017 01:30 AM · For: Breakages

I enjoyed this chapter so much!  I was already really looking forward to the debriefing, so that we could find out if the Aurors knew any more than what Rose had done, but even for a debrief this was a very intense read, and I left the chapter with so many more questions.

 

I loved seeing Rose in her element here - we've only seen her healing people from her own perspective before, when she's focused on trying to get everything done right, and working as quickly as possible.  The contrast between her own point of view on it and how others see her when she's working was really interesting - and I loved seeing her stand up to the Aurors and defend her right to be there.

 

Scorpius's little comments about how it wasn't going to turn out well for him, and that Albus was definitely Rose's favourite, made me laugh - it lightened the darkness and intensity of the last couple of chapters really well.

 

Ron was simmering all the way through this meeting, and I think that his final explosion was inevitable.  Still, I didn't expect him to be quite so vehement and furious - especially with the way that he was so hurtful to Rose.  You could practically see the sparks of anger flying in the room during that scene, and I thought you wrote it really well.  I was glad to see that Harry was so firm but fair with him, too, however difficult it was.

 

Having said that, even though Ron seemed rude and completely unreasonable in Harry's office, I loved the glimpse that we got to see into his reasoning behind his reaction, and the way that the torture at Malfoy Manor had affected Hermione so badly - I don't think I've ever seen that aftermath properly described before.  I just hope that the conversation at his house goes okay (I want to know what they say!) and that Rose is going to be alright.  Or at least have a couple of chapters' break...

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2017 01:13 AM · For: Breakable

I thought that you judged the pacing of this chapter really well - you captured the frustration of waiting for news brilliantly, and I felt on edge throughout the whole time I was reading it as I waited to find out to what had happened to everyone at the pub.

 

I was glad that Rose managed to get Lily out of there safely, and I think that Ginny was actually one of the best possible people for her to go to.  On top of being married (and now mother) to an Auror, she was stuck at Hogwarts through the war and had to do what she could and just hope that Harry and Ron and Hermione were okay.  She really understands how it feels, and I think that Rose needed someone like that at this point.

 

Rose's frustration is understandable, and seeing her take it out on the dummies in the basement was great - I just hope that she will be able to react if she's under attack again, but we won't know until that happens (and I say until because I'm pretty sure, given this story so far, it will happen again).  

 

I found it interesting that Rose didn't know her mum had been tortured, but it makes a lot of sense - I mean, why would you share something like that with your children?  You try and protect them more than anything.  But I was glad to see Hermione there, and Rose running to her <3

 

And Scorpius made it back!  I think Rose not asking how the others were when she saw he was hurt is a sign of how much he means to her - but I really hope that the others are going to be alright as well.  I love the idea of Fred "Muggle duelling" a Death Eater when he lost his wand - the Weasleys are not a bunch to give in easily.  I'm looking forward to finding out the debrief in the next chapter!

 

Sian :)



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