Well THAT’s a compelling title to give a story. I’m hooked before even opening the chapter.
Ooh, and your first line is even more compelling. Referring to the line as a “lie” could mean any number of things. Is the serial killer part the lie or the love?
Haha, the second line of the “essay” definitely brings through the tone that it’s a child writing it. It makes it feel so fanciful that it feels like it can’t possibly be true, but I’m not ruling anything out yet.
I don’t know who Jeannie is. The mother? The teacher? She doesn’t seem like she believes what she’s reading, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not true
And then the third line written by Emma feels less child-like and more foreboding. But in a way that’s very derivative, if that makes sense. “Nobody ever found his body” feels like the kind of thing a child might pick up from some kind of creepy story, and starts to sway me back to thinking this is make believe again.
Ooh, plot twist, Jeannie knows Barry and he’s really missing!
Oh, and the ending is really good. I didn’t expect the mother to show up in such a short story, ut it makes things decidedly creepier. Your final line is excellent, especially how it ties back to the “lie” in the first line. Makes me wonder if the first use of the word lie was objectively true, or based on Jeannie’s assumptions that Emma was lying.
I loved this!
I'm here with a review for the Magical Menagerie Review Event as well as the Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review event for January 2019! I absolutely adore your writing and it's been far too long since I've had a chance to drop by your AP, so here I am.
I was drawn to this story by the amazing title. I mean who could resist a title like "My mother is a serial killer". I had to know what it was about.
This seems so innocent at first, like a child making up a fantasy story to tell her teacher, but then it slowly gets ominous before taking a completely dark turn. I knew it was going bad as soon as the teacher mentions that Barry was hers. Then I knew it wasn't a kid just making up a story, but instead a kid repeating something she'd heard before.
The mother at the end is very threatening. I don't know why as we don't really see any particular description of her. I think it's more the teacher's reaction to her that makes her seem so scary.
As per usual, you've written a flawless story. It's even more impressive in this case since you used so few words to do it. I'm always amazed by the clever concepts you come up with to write about.
omg this is perfect and terrifying. You managed to pack so much into this short piece! I love the description of her sweat crystallizing, that's so vivid, gah. As always, your writing is incredible <3
i've been reading through the drabbles for the halloween maze thingy and i just read yours and couldn't not leae a review - this is so short but tells a huge story and wow omg wow i want to read more of it!
Yikes, that is scary. It really sounds as if the mother actually is a serial killer and is about to kill the teacher.
I'd like to read the rest of this story and find out exactly why Robert Jensen was killed, why he is considered a "bad man," what happened between the two sisters - I'm guessing a will in which the sister got everything - and why Barry was killed. And of course what happens later, if the mother is ever caught and if so, what happens to her child.