Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 06 Oct 2018 11:29 AM · [Report This]
Story:The Life and Lies of Albus Potter Chapter: Return to Hogwarts

Hey Isobel! Here for your requested review!


What a chapter! I rather enjoyed the Platform 9 3/4 scene at the beginning. You do a great job setting up the characters and their personalities. I feel like you have Harry and Ginny spot on. James is such a bratty older brother--and I love him for it. Lily is the sassy little sister. And Albus... he's so observant and reserved, and I really, really enjoy your charactertization of him.


Aspects of Albus' personality really comes out in gentle waves, and I think of him as being rather a gentle--yet strong--person. His entourage of friends helps this happen. Sometimes, it gets a little confusing when so many characters are introduced to us at once, especially aboard the Hogwarts Express. But you tactfully introduce this quintet a little bit at a time, and you've given them such distinctive traits in a shortened time span, so it's rather easy to keep track of it. And everyone is such a Hufflepuff; I love it! I also like how the media is making a big deal about Al's sexuality (none of their business, and I'm so glad his family seems to be so supportive of him), but to his friends, it's not that big of a deal. Don't get me wrong, one's sexuality is a large part of their identity, but Al seems to be the person who quietly owns it and continues to strive to live his life in peace. Not everyone is cut out for that. Also... I like how Scorpius is NOT in this group of people. Your take on Next Gen is really interesting!


You wanted to know my thoughts on Diana, and I love her. She's such a firecracker! Especially facing the paprazzi like that. And her cheekiness with Harry Potter. And I totally ship her with James. I think they'd get into some great hysterics--and torture poor Albus in an endearing way. And I could tell straight away that she's so caring towards her friends. I love how she provides food and I knew she kept people's food preferences in mind before you even mentioned it. She's such a wonderful person! My favorite bit is the way she talks to her cat.


Or maybe the way she speaks to Harry. Gah, she's so funny, it's hard to pick!


Going back to Diana's affinity for Minnie, I love the little side quips in parentheses. They are so funny, reveal a lot about the characters, and add to the flow of the story.


As for not starting this fic conventially in September, this works really, really well. This kiss happened on New Year's Eve. You jump right into the plot, instead of having the first half of the school year be build up. As a reader, I'm already interested with your characters (see my comments above about characterizing so many people in a short space), and you already have an inciting incident (the kiss and the media's obsession over it and Albus trying to avoid the limelight), that right now, I want to get more into the plot. That being said, I'm looking forward to the next installment! Great work!

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 02 Oct 2018 03:12 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Life and Lies of Albus Potter Chapter: Return to Hogwarts

Hey there! 


Just dropping by to leave you a review!


I love a good angsty Albus story. I feel like there’s so much potential with the Potter children to explore how their fathers fame could make life difficult. It’s interesting that Albus is almost always siezed upon as the one who would struggle. I wonder why that is? Perhaps because his name leaves him with massive shoes to fill.


I really enjoyed the way you defined the Hufflepuffs in this. It’s not so much bubbliness or overt kindness as loyalty and consideration. It’s a much more realistic portrayal, imo. 


I had a good laugh at the part about Albus talking to someone long enough to snog them. That’s a great description of his character. Clearly, he’s not just media shy, but shy in general. 


All in all, I thought this was a good start. You’ve set up the dynamic between the friends, the family, and the media. There’s intrigue with this mysterious guy. Everything I think you need to grab the readers attention. 


Great job!



Name: Ineke (Signed) · Date: 30 Sep 2018 05:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:The Life and Lies of Albus Potter Chapter: Return to Hogwarts





And that is not a lie.


Because you had me cracking up at various points in the story, made me want to know more about every character and why they all ended up in Hufflepuff (because I got serious dorm 2.6a vibes here and if that is not a compliment coming from me, I don't know what is). I want to know what the story is behind Lily's heels. There are so many questions you left me with I can't even remember them all because it was so good and I need more and god I am rambling but excuse me for that because its like 00.20 am right now. 


The notion of Albus not complaining about his name because of the Adam and Eve thing. A cat named Minnie. The fact that Rita Skeeter itself is at it again is hilarious enough on it's own. People being more afraid of the mention of Hermione than they are of Harry. The relatability of Albus just flinging his cloak just about everything because that is so so me (I still haven't refound a shirt of mine because of it.). The fact that people flee at the mention of a Howler from Ginny. It's just all so brilliant and so so good and the fact that James and Gryffindor got clobbered as revenge just... I wish I could've seen that because it must've been absolutely glorious to watch.


Aside from that. Diana had me stitching up many a time, especially because she was heard because she was seen and has no trouble with using magic when not allowed and bending the agreements for her own sake and honestly why is she not a Slytherin but this is even more fun honestly. God, I can go ramble on and on about this. (So when are you uploading again?).


Just, such a great job, Isobel, and I truly, truly missed your writing!



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