I wrote a bit about Emmeline years ago, but I’m very excited to see what you do for her, and what feminist quote is the inspiration for her character and her chapter here. What I love the most about this piece so far, and now especially with this chapter, is that your writing style changes just that little bit to make it unique to each character. With Emmeline’s chapter, it’s all about that repetition, and you absolutely nail it. Emmeline has her routines for a reason, because they’re safe, they make her feel secure, and they don’t allow for error. Until error comes in the form of Dorcas Meadowes barging up to her house making sure she is in fact still alive. Dorcas won’t take her shit and still is empathetic as she can be with Emmeline, and I really appreciate you writing that comforting scene the way you did. Because Dorcas may not be the best with words in a situation like this, but Emmeline loves her for the gestures regardless. And then Emmeline thinks some adjustments to her routine couldn’t hurt, and that’s GROWTH! But, then, not even a week later, and Dorcas is dead, and then more, and more, and more. But Emmeline continues doing her work and keeping her head down, fighting the good fight quietly. Wonderful job so far, Abby! I can’t wait to see what comes next. :)
Now it’s time for Lily Evans.
Lily Evans, you break my heart while also healing it. This was such a good, emotional chapter, Abby. But emotional in ways very different to those of, say, Alice and Marlene’s chapters. I was more angry for them, and also for Dorcas, to a different degree for various reasons, but for Lily, I feel more, I don’t really know, like, even though I’m not a mother and don’t have plans to become one ever, I still felt that, perhaps, base or instinctual sympathy feeling when another woman you know is going through pregnancy? I’m not sure if that made any sense, but here we are [insert shrug emoji here]. She’s feeling so many things, and you do a wonderful job of explaining all of those emotions and how they overlap in some ways and influence her feelings on other things other times. And then we get this beautiful connection between her and Alice, thirteen years apart in age, but going through the exact same thing, at the same time, with similar painful memories of the first time(s) going through this experience, together. But of course, this is a War. And that means Voldemort. They get out, but man was that a bleak ending. I’d never really thought about when it would have been that Lily and James would have gone into hiding, but your portrayal of it makes their forthcoming deaths all the more stark. Well done.
I am back for Dorcas!
I really, really love how you’ve chosen to create Dorcas’s character! She’s a middle-aged woman of color, an immigrant, and someone who *actually* knows what she’s doing and therefore is a threat to the “school board.” Her accent is strong enough to be clear she’s still not always great with the Queen’s English, but she’s also been in the UK for long enough to be able to have a certain inflection when she wants in order to prove a point. Especially when that point is to Mr. Rosier and the Hogwarts School Board. Albus Dumbledore is clearly on her side and entertains her bits of toying with Mr. Rosier’s patience, but he also knows she’s a very competent Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, and has likely set up contingency plans with her should she not get her Unspeakable position back at the Ministry or something else were to happen. And then Sirius and Marlene appear after she’s been sacked, wow! I loved that whole scene because it’s so illustrative of Sirius’s relative youth to both her and even to Marlene, who is only a few years older than him. She’s taking control of her life, even though she’s just been fired from her teaching position, and for that, I am grateful for her chapter placement being after Marlene’s. Great job! :)
Hello again Abby!
I am ready for the heartbreak and pain. I understand your disclaimer at the beginning and then the reminder at the end to go look at cat videos or cat gifs or something cheery because wow that was… rough. You clearly care a lot about Marlene’s character (hence Golden Eagle Soaring) but even if I didn’t know about your spinoff for her, your love for her is evident all throughout this chapter. She’s all excited for a night out with Gideon to end in fun sexytimes but all of that is ruined by effing Travers. Fuck that guy, he’s an asshole. Marlene’s coping mechanism for scary situations and uncomfortable situations is reverting to her full on Scottish accent, and I think you portrayed her emotions very well during those times, and still made her words understandable as well to a reader. Gideon being all like, what the hell is going on, why is she getting so worked up about Travers being at the bar, and then getting her out of that situation and back to his place to calm down is probably a lot for him to handle, and he’s not even the one dealing with a lot of trauma. I think the way you’ve had Marlene tell her story is very well done, and Gideon’s attempts at comfort being brushed aside are also in tune with the tone of the story within the story. Marlene will get her revenge, and I’m sure of that because you’re so skilled with writing, and with writing her specifically. <3
Hello again my dear!
I'm back for some more CDMC - round 2 madness! After finishing APNFFH, I thought I'd take a look and see what else I needed to catch up on your AP. Imagine my surprise when I saw that this had a new chapter.
I like that this has a sense of normalcy to this. Sometimes as writers we tend to lose ourselves to the drama of the war without remembering to write about the normal things that happen in between the battles. I like that instead of focusing on the battles here, you focus on Emmeline trying to recover from her breakup with her girlfriend. I'm sure with all of the pressures from the magic world and the constant danger, it makes this break up hurt all of the more.
I think it's a really good thing that she's building herself a routine. I've always found when dealing with difficult stuff that it's important to kind of just make yourself go through the motions and that's exactly what she is doing. I know it doesn't feel good at the moment, but one day it'll feel more normal.
I love that you include Dorcas in this story. She's such a great character and exactly who Emmeline needs in her grief. It was so lovely seeing them drink and dance around the house even in the midst of danger and war. The initial greeting at the door really reminds the reader that there is an immediate threat, but once they've confirmed each others identities, it's nice to see them let their hair down.
I was hoping we'd get through this chapter without a death, but then you went and killed Dorcas off the night before their dinner date. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! HOW DARE YOU KILL OFF SWEET DORCAS! I'm really mad and distraught over that.
And then worse, you follow it up with the deaths of Benjy, Caradoc, and the Potters and the torture of the Longbottoms. For a story that started out not that depressing, it ends in a really dark place. I am glad that at least she doesn't collapse in her grief and give up. I'm glad that she will keep fighting.
I am also glad that Emmeline takes in Windrush. They definitely need each other now. I know it doesn't bring Dorcas back, but at least they won't be alone. Animals have an incredible capacity to heal and to help humans heal. I think that maybe that little bit of support really does help Emmeline get through the worst of things.
And I like that you started this story with the garden and then also looped it back to the garden in the end. It's a shame that so much of her produce rotted.
As per usual for this story, it was a sad read, but it was well written too. I'm simultaneously looking forward to and dreading the next chapter.
So I realized I had never reviewed this even though I’ve definitely read some of this before, so here I am to make up for that!
Oh Alice, you really got the short end of the stick with bosses at the Ministry. I think you’ve excellently displayed the workplace sexism that was rampant (and really still is in a lot of places) everywhere in the 1970s when women were still relatively “new” to the workforce outside of basic secretarial positions and the like so the men were very rude and unwilling to change their behaviors and opinions of women significantly. Alice is ever too aware of her status as a woman in the Auror Department, and now that she is married to Frank, another Auror, she’s been relegated to the title of Frank’s wife. So she’s not even her own person anymore, and that’s effing terrible. Barty Crouch Sr.’s attitude and behavior towards her is so repulsive and demeaning I literally wanted to throw up reading his dialogue, they were those terrible of things to say to a woman about why she wasn’t advancing in her career. What I’m most sad about for Alice is that she’s clearly better than many of her counterparts but because they’re men they get promoted. AGH! I clearly have strong feelings about this [insert :joy: emoji here] But she gets some agency at the resistance meeting, and what I really love about that is that *she* is the one to come up with the name for the Order of the Phoenix. It’s poetic and I just really really enjoy that for her. Onwards I go!
Back again :)
I really respect everything you're doing with these oneshots. This is really heavy stuff, but you write it and handle it so well. I never feel like you're adding things for shock value or just for the sake of drama to deal with. I also love how you make sure to have that note of hope at the end of it.
Marlene is probably my favorite canon Marauders era woman so I love that she gets her chance to shine here. I love how she's always down to tussle, even after everything's that's happened to her in the past. That's such a Marlene trait to me so I love that you've included it in your version of her.
I want to give her a massive hug after all of that even though I know she wouldn't let me. I can't imagine everything that she's felt since that happened to her. I don't think I would handle it as well as she has and I don't blame her at all for trying to end Travers when she had the chance. I'm so so glad that she had Gideon there to keep her from getting herself hurt and as someone who she could open up to. Everyone deserves to have someone like that, even if he may not stay that person for her.
I love this series so much and I can't wait to read more!
Hi, there! Here for the CMDC review event :)
This is so completely my cup of tea, it's not even funny. I'm so excited to see your takes on all of these wonderful women and the struggles that they faced.
I never really get to read much about Alice so I already love this chapter. I like how no-nonsense she is right from the start and the little touch with the bubblegum is genius.
I mean, I already know why they didn't promote her but it's almost like a trainwreck. I know what's going to happen, but I just can't look away. I almost need to hear him tell this clearly more than competent woman that she didn't get promoted because she had the audacity to get married (to a man who managed to get a promotion...)
I've never wanted to hit someone more than when Crouch told her she had "domestic duties" she needed to attend it. I know this was the point of the one-shots but oh my god. Are you serious dude? Are you even qualified to be running this department, sir?
Honestly, I never really stopped to think about it, but there really were hardly any women in the Order. Which is a shame because the women in this series were some of the most high competent and dangerous characters in the whole thing. I love love love that Alice is the one who comes up with the name. It's what she deserves.
I will most certainly be back for more :)
I really loved this, it was touching, uplifting, and heartbreaking all at once.
I adored your decription of her daily process, the use of parenthetical asides, and ultimately the repetition of all of that at the very end but with small variations. Details like "sometimes she cooked two eggs at once" speak volumes in so few words. I could relate to her having a silly, somewhat desperate thought that maybe if she'd put away her cat things would be different.
The Statute of Secrecy is such an interesting thing, because yeah, all of these mixed magical-Muggle relationships have to involve this huge secret until they get married, and I have to wonder how anyone explains that to their significant other, like where they go for work every day.
I also forgot to say when I reviewed Dorcas's chapter - I love the one-eyed kitty!
I eagerly look forward to future chapters!
I really, really liked this. Lily is arguably a troubling character, for reasons that I would digress to go into here, and in canon she's more of an object than a subject, important for the role she fulfills with respect to different men - James, Harry, Snape... But here you've embraced her role as the mother and given her some ownership over it. I also really liked the action sequence that you brought to this, and showing the Potters' and Longbottoms' defiance of Voldemort. In addition to being interesting, you gave Lily a chance to act instead of just being someone who is acted upon.
It was a trick she had learned in primary school: look up at a light and say pineapple, and your urge to sneeze would go away.
--Hey, does this actually work??
You packed a lot of great commentary about the bodily stigmas involved in pregnancy and the stigma of miscarriage.
Mundungus's comment about how much she was eating was infuriating. We have all heard that one.
You have made the James/Lily and Frank/Alice seem like good teams, good partners in their marriages. I don't really write Jily myself (except for some godawful cliche stuff yeeeeears ago), but I can't deny liking them. I know they're glorified in canon, but I feel I'm okay with that, really. A loving couple who literally laid down their lives for their family, I think there's a lot to be said about that. James seems protective here but not condescending, and they seem to have a mutual respect.
There's a ton going on here - lots of intersectionality, Marlene making an appearance (yay!), and the part with Sirius (more on that later).
Dorcas seems to me to have a dignified and refined air about her, and th calm (though cautiously subversive) way she takes her termination and all the unspoken reasons for it, possibly speak to her maturity because of her age, but sadly also to her years of experience in dealing with this. Without really have to say it in so many words, you can tell she's a competent teacher, and that she cares about her students.
I love that Sirius made an appearance here - and speaking to your comment in your A/N about the amount of male-female interaction vs female-female, I think that's okay. Because it's real life, the men are part of it and they're not going anywhere, and women need allies of both sexes.
Sirius could be a shit sometimes in his youth, but I think he was a good egg, and I'm glad you gave him this role in this story rather than James, who is usually cast as the leader and the one expressing noble indignation. I like how Dorcas can't help but hear his thoughts because they're so loud.
I was so happy to see Marlene make her appearance, tying these women's stories together, and I really enjoyed your visual description of her appearing as though she's coming apart at the scene. It makes her seem to frenetic and intimidating, and I like that Sirius is a little taken with her for it.
"What about James’ firstborn?” - Right in the feels with this one! Sneaky, play fair! :D
This was disturbing in the best way, and I think you handled the subject matter incredibly tastefully while also not shying away from the disturbing aspects. I thought the interaction between Marlene and Gideon while she was telling him the story was extremely well done. I don't hold a grudge against Gideon here; I think he is doing the best he can to understand what he really can't ever fully understand on a personal level.
As to Marlene's characterization in general, I really enjoyed it, especially how self-possessed she is, in the description of her in the beginning, and in total control of her own sexuality and sexual activities.
Flying off the hook at Travers was not, strategically, a great idea for her, but it speaks to the horrific trauma and PTSD.
I liked the description of how the whole pub went deadly silent when she accused him of being a Death Eater - that was a very vivid image.
Where she gets really into her accent I think possibly you mean to say she went "full feral Scots," not farrell?
I also wanted to comment that there is something about this line that I just loved:
All that mattered was that Travers was still there, a Death Eater enjoying an evening of jazz music
I do like her determination at the end, as you said in your A/N, a moment of hope. Just like with the previous chapter with Alice, you end on a note of promise, if not entirely a high note, and I really like that.
Hi Abby! I really think it's fantastic that you took this on and are using these beloved characters as a vehicle to discuss issues facing women. This chapter with Alice was a really nice way to start off, especially with the formation of the Order and her being one of the founding members. I love that you gave her the honor of being the person to come up with the name.
For all intents and purposes, Alice is a female cop, and so I'm sure the discrimination she would face is even greater because it's a very stereotypically masculine job. Sadly, while we've advanced somewhat in the real world, some of us still ask ourselves the question, Do I take my ring off when I go for this interview? What will be left of my job for me when I come back from maternity leave?
The line "She'll probably get pregnant anyway" was especially devastating.
I like how you've done Alice's characterization here, even though we don't necessarily know a ton about her personality in this snippet of her life. We can see that she's ambitious and wants to be recognized for her competence. We can see that she's willing to stand up for herself, but that she's not also immune to being walked on and brushed off and realizes she still has to play the game. She can't just give her boss a piece of her mind.
And I especially appreciated the bubblegum as a nod to how we first met her in OotP (and kinda want to cry about it).
I'll be reading on!
hi abby, here for our swap!
ah, ‘nevertheless she persisted’ - perhaps one of my favorite feminist quotes, if only for the fact that mitch mcconnell most definitely did not mean for it to become an iconic feminist line and I like to think that, the more it gets used, the more annoyed he gets.
the structure of this chapter lended really wonderfully to this theme. the fact that you’ve used the same series of narrations, with slight modifications, as bookends to this chapter, really drives home the theme of persistence and continuing to move forward despite tragedy and loss. emmeline is on autopilot, doing what she needs to do to survive and to maintain her role in the resistance, and it’s evident that she’s hurting and grieving, but she’s also pushing forward despite all of that.
the start of the chapter also starts off with a bit of a mystery, because it’s evident that *something* is missing in emmeline’s life, but it’s not directly stated what (or who) that is, and what happened to them. it’s not until dorcas appears and starts talking that it’s revealed that she’s just gone through a breakup, and it’s that heartbreak that’s sending her through the grieving process (well, that, and the actual grieving for people like marlene and edgar). emmeline is in such a difficult position, because not only could she not marry the person she loved, but she also couldn’t even tell that person about a HUGE part of her life, and it’s understandable that that level of secret keeping would eventually cause irreparable damage to their relationship.
dorcas is really such a beacon of positivity in this chapter - she kind of lifts marlene out of that dragging everyday routine that she’s grown accustomed to, and - with the help of a little rum and dancing, makes for the happiest bit of this chapter yet. I really had so much hope for them and their weekly dinners, because emmeline is really in desperate need of a companion, but then you’ve crushed that hope in just a couple paragraphs. :(
dorcas’ death is tragic, and I imagine the hinting at ‘who knows which side *actually* killed her’ was a bit intentional? when both sides are using lethal force, it’s easy to take someone down and make it look like an accident, and given the events of dorcas’ chapter, it certainly seems like she’s got enemies on the ministry side as well.
but dorcas does still leaves her a gift of companionship, in the form of windrush, who seems to brighten up her dull daily routine, even just a little bit, in that she’s got a desire to protect him rather than a ‘what’s the point’ attitude to locking the house, and that his insistence ensures that she actually completes the tasks she sets out to do. it’s little things, but I do think she’s at least in a slightly brighter place than she was at the start of the chapter, despite the loss that she’s continually experiencing as a result of the war.
a beautifully executed chapter - i’ll be eagerly awaiting the next one. :)
annnd i’m back with my long overdue review – sorry it’s like ten reviews later than the round 450 that it should’ve been but i got distracted with my challenge reviews and the opener…but i’m here now :P even though i read this chapter a couple of times already haha
what i loved about this chapter was how it sort of came full circle – the ending is similar to the beginning, but also different.
at the beginning of the story we see emmeline trying her best to survive in a world that’s increasingly more dangerous and i really liked how you hinted at two things with her having trouble around the house, with things she forgot to do, or why she should do them – they hinted mostly at the fact that someone else is missing from that home, from her life. but it’s not just that, it’s not just the break up with donna, it’s something grander still – her friends, and not just friends, are dying, one by one, her circle is becoming smaller (eating lunch at work alone) and emmeline is feeling terrified. having a routine seems like a thing that could help her. but it doesn’t truly, because there’s literally nothing to help with fear of being murdered in times like these, when voldemort is at the height of his power. and i felt incredibly sorry for emmeline because it’s so difficult trying to deal with all of these complicated feelings, the fear, the guilt of still being alive, the break up, all alone.
then, when dorcas appears, even though she bears bad news about the deaths of gideon and fabian, she’s still something light in this very dark part of emmeline’s life. she’s a friend, she’s a really good friend who obviously cares about emmeline, cares enough to check up on her, to take it upon herself to help her deal with a break up even when someone else might think it secondary to everything else they’re, the order, are dealing with in times of war. but even during a war, people are people, and they love each other and they break up and they need emotional support. especially during a war. i loved the scene when they’re drinking and toasting and then dancing, because it showed us how, even in these dark times, with a friend, with a little bit of love, there can still be peaceful, beautiful moments.
of course, you just had to crush my little heart with the next part, when wednesday rolls around and there is no dorcas. dorcas is dead and emmeline is crushed all over again, just when she thought there might be some light in her life in the midst of everything. but! this is what i meant how the ending is different than the beginning – i think that dorcas managed to somehow wake up the spark in emmeline again, the streak that made her join the order, to fight back – because now, even when dorcas is dead, she’s not broken, she’s not like at the start of the story. she seems stronger, more determined, less sluggish, less fearful. the fact that she does have someone to take care of, windrush, helps but that’s just an added bonus, i think. dorcas, with her friendship, managed to break though some of the survivor’s guilt and wake up the old emmeline – at least it seems that way to me. of course, she’s not completely fine, she could never and would never be, but as the quote says, she persisted – both in her justice job and her fight for the order.
i haven’t put much thought into queer relationships in the first wizarding war (and earlier eras), mostly because i write them in next gen where i like to be idealistic and create a much better world than it is right now in reality, and what it was before when everything was a lot worse. so i thought that inclusion of the problem of same sex marriage not being legal in the UK then, and how it affected people (not just emmeline) in the wizarding world when their partners are muggle was something i really appreciated and i think it’s a very important topic. emmeline’s reasoning for not telling donna about the wizarding world, where she would be persecuted not just for being a muggle, but also for being gay, makes sense in the climate that she lived in, though, and i realise i’m again being idealistic, i would’ve loved if she did and if donna stayed, despite everything. but secrets like these are the things that are bound to tear apart a relationship and i find it incredibly sad in emmeline’s case since she really needs someone in her life to make her a little bit happy.
but, even though her story is sad i think it also sends a message of being so so strong (despite being afraid!) in the face of everything bad and that’s something i absolutely love.
i can’t wait until the next chapter *_*
Hey Abby, I’m stopping by for the House Cup Finale!
So, because of the date I’m assuming this takes place just before or after the war has ended, but it’s so poignant that for Emmeline, it’s not over yet – her work in the ministry is just as taxing as any actual fighting may have been, and she’s still struggling for survival even if she’s not involved in any actual battles (anymore), especially because she’s lost someone close to her. I especially loved all the references to how her routine had changes in the parentheses; that’s such an effective way of showing how deep into every-day life loss and grief cut, and to me felt a lot more powerful than simply stating that somebody is missing or died.
Emmeline’s grief in general is so excellently portrayed, the only thing she can do is struggle on from task to task, but she doesn’t take any joy from any of it, and her job and the chores she sets herself at home are just ways to pass time because that’s all she’s capable of at the moment: Survive for another day and – feebly – hope that it won’t drag on as much as the last.
But underneath her grief, the instincts honed during the war are still sharp, so the first thing she assumes when Dorcas comes over is that it’s a death eater attack. I especially liked how instantaneous the change in Emmeline’s behavior is, like someone’s flipped a switch and now she’s back in war mode. Right, so Emmeline and her girlfriend Don have broken up because Emmeline couldn’t reveal her true identity – I imagine keeping a huge secret like that must be a strain on any relationship, but in times of war, when Emme can’t share any of her burdens with Don, that must be even more taxing. It also shows how little regard the wizarding world still shows for Muggle/Magic relationships, and particularly gay ones, because Emmeline would never be able to tell Don who she is without breaking the law.
It’s also deeply sad how the story ends where it started, with Emmeline struggling to get by, especially after that flicker of hope we got to see in her friendship with Dorcas, but I loved that circularity because it really brought home that the war wasn’t something Emmeline could ever escape, but just do her best to survive.
This was such a fantastic chapter! Much Love,
your chapters are always so wonderful and thought provoking this chapter is no exception. I thought this chapter was beautifully crafted and I adored the theme of female friendship that you used. It's really underrated in my opinion. I think this piece made me feel super emotional. The way you've written her grief so touching and tangible.
I thought your portrayal was a perfect version because grief is not crying and screaming in most cases but it's just hanging in there and surviving however is needed. I think that came across really well, I know the concept of this chapter and I honestly though Emmeline was going to be with her partner fighting together but the fact that Emmeline's love had gone was so heartbreaking.
Emmeline is a wonderful character. She is obviously very passionate and just woman. I think she is someone we should all admire as she has always been herself in such hard situations. I think your writing really captures her spirit. I think when you just briefly mentioned Marlene's death is enough to get me sobbing! I loved Dorcas making another prominent appearance in the story, I loved how they danced together and it was so bittersweet and how she was there for Emmeline trying pick her up. I think that's female friendship goals. I'm very glad that I got to share that moment together.
I think the fact that Dorcas was killed before their meeting really pull a big emotional punch. I wasn't really expecting it and it really got off guard that I think that made it so powerful. I did feel my heart sinking with that simple line. Dorcas is also such a strong lady so it's certainly emotional to see these wonderful influences killed off (I'm sure it's difficult to write about too!). i think the detail about her adopting the cat was really quite sweet how much she wanted to keep the cat safe like holding onto her as the last piece of sanity or something.
I don't know if it's canon that you're only allowed to reveal wizardry after they're married but I think it's concept that makes sense in wizard law sense though the reality is hard to take. It really highlights that injustice that people face on a day to day basis (for all kinds of reasons but being gay in this instant.) I can barely believe in myself that gay marriage was only legal in 2014. You've highlighted the issue wonderfully as always and crafted it into something engaging and poignant. this story is truly one of kind.
- Abbi x
(HC Finale '19 - Vote Maya Chon)
Abby!!! <3 <3 <3
Here for our swap, my love! :)
But... this chapter! It broke my poor heart! Peter Sebastian Pettigrew, if I could I'd strangle you with my bare hands! (Yes, I know that's not really relevant, but I can't forgive him for the damage he caused... all those people being killed... urgh!)
Poor Emmeline... loneliness is the worst! I could relate so much, all those days alwyas equal to each other, getting up in the morning, going to work, waiting for the evening to be over only to start all over again the following day... surving without really living... it's just heartbreaking but also rings so true to me... :/
It's even more sad the fact that she found herself alone because she couldn't share who she really was with her girlfriend! Damned Statute of Secrecy! Damned not legal same-sex marriage! All of it is just so unfair and I only want Emme to be happy (you know she's one of my favourites!)
Other side note (that I might've mentioned already somewhere, but I can't remember) I love that you sorted Emmeline in Hufflepuff too! :D
Dorcas' visit was so lovely! Their bonding moment was the sweetest thing ever! I loved the way Dorcas' presence made her feel alive, their playful dancing, their drinking and chatting together! It was such a sweet moment, despite the heartbreak of the bad news in the Order... but then you went and killed Dorcas the day before they had to meet again for dinner... Abby! Why would you do this to my poor heart?!
It's a small comfort that Emmeline got to take care of Dorcas' cat. His presence seems to have alleviated her life a little, so I'm glad of it. It's a really small comfort, but it's something. I hope Emmeline will find some happiness again at some point, she deserves it! I love her perseverance, though. Despite everything, she's such a strong character!
One last note... the bit about Aurors being allowed to use Unforgivables, and the not always correct use they made of it... that was such a sad, but again way too true, detail to include. I love how you always manage to put focus on so many problems in our modern society through your stories.
Another wonderful chapter, my love! Thank you so much for swapping! <3
Hello, I saw that you added a new chapter to this fic just now, and I was wondering if you wanted to swap for this one too? If not, well. I’m still reviewing this.
The beginning of this chapter was… hard to read. It strikes me as something someone who doesn’t want to deal with life does just so they don’t have to bother with thinking. I’m kind of sad to say that it’s what I’ve resorted to in the past few months, the days blurring into nothing, and becoming forgettable. And I realize that it’s sort of pitiful (that’s how I would describe my situation, and no one else’s) because I’m just waiting for the next exciting thing to happen that will take me out of my slump or look at my phone for hours, hoping that something would interest me. I don’t know.
I don’t particularly relate to the starting one chore but then starting another one in the middle of first chore, mainly because I don’t have much to do these days, but lord do I know the feeling of not being able to fall asleep because your thoughts won’t let you.
I’m not going to name what I’m describing, but it certainly feels like Emmeline is trying to keep her mind off of thinking about something she doesn’t want to. Perhaps she lost someone?
Ah, I completely understand the whole contemplation of how things would be even if that one tiny little thing changed. It’s a hard spiral to get out, to be honest, because even though it makes you sad, thinking about how much different, how much happier you would be, it’s not an indulgence that’s easy to let go of.
I was right! Emmeline did lose someone. I wonder who Don is though.
Oh god, hearing about Fabian and Gideon right after Don must be a kick to the stomach while Emmeline is still down. She just can’t seem to get a break, and I can say for sure that this certainly won’t help her get out of her mind numbing routine that she took up to cope.
Relationships between muggles and wizards have always fascinated me. As much as we like to say that we’re fascinated by magic, I think when faced with the reality of there actually being magic, there are a numerous amount of ways that a person could react. Those statute laws would make these kinds of relationships pesky, and keeping such big secret until right after you’re married would probably drop an anvil on that relationship. Some may make it, some may not, and it sucks that Emmeline’s relationship falls in the latter category.
Oh my god, Emmeline never gets any mercy from fate. It’s so easy to feel sympathy for her right now, being hit by more deaths one after another. I suppose this is what it’s like to be on the other end of a fictional death.
Though I actually don’t know of Emmeline’s fate yet, I’m glad that she decides to keep going and pursue justice even after all the loss she faced. Though she may not want to do much of anything right now, it shows her great strength and tenacity. I admire that.
Another great chapter! Thanks for writing! xx
Hi Abby! I’m here for my (very late, so I hope this review makes up for it) end of our second review swap!
Ah, this chapter I’m just a tiny bit scared to read because I don’t know how well I’m going to be able to give commentary on it, as I’m far from being pregnant or even having a miscarriage. But we’ll see!
Um, yikes. Lily is in quite the predicament, and I kind of understand it. It’s such an uncomfortable situation to be in, to be honest.
Can babies kick five months into the pregnancy? I’m not really sure. My sister has been pregnant before, and I’m pretty sure she told me that her baby only started kicked near the beginning of the third trimester.
Honestly, Lily’s worry about how well she can take care of her baby is very realistic and true, but I think her worries make her a better mother, if you know what I mean? The fact that she cares so much says a lot about her, and she carries that promise of being a good mother until the very end. (And I just made myself sad. Damn it.)
Ugh, god. Petunia is such a bitch. Like goddamn, they both are pregnant, and she thinks it’s some sort of competition for who’s coping with it well. And to be honest, it’s kind of a dumb competition because while bringing a life is miracle—some would say, at least—it’s also not the prettiest thing. It’s a lot of pain from day one to birth, and there are so many things about pregnancy that catch you off guard if you’re not ready for it. (The thing that kind of made me more put off by pregnancy was the fact that morning sickness can last longer than your first trimester, and the fact that it doesn’t happen only in the morning. God, my poor sister.)
Oh lord, the whole thing of Lily wanting to not do any of burping or vomiting or farting is actually a bit sad. I don’t know about her particularly, but when any woman tells me about not wanting do any of those things in front of a man, it’s usually because she doesn’t want to make herself look disgusting in the eyes of the man. And the thing is, these things are human all around and the fact that women have to hide is really sad and shows how conditioned women are to the expectations of the people around them. I’m really glad that James doesn’t shame her for these things, though really, it should just be the standard for everybody.
Ughhhhh, Mundungus’ comment makes irrationally angry. It’s just really rude to point out someone’s eating habits of eating too little or too much. Sirius’ comment makes me feel a little bit better though because of how on part with his character it is. Of course he would try to predict when James and Lily had sex.
Three miscarriages? Yikes… Alice is really strong to be able to go through that many miscarriages and still have the strength to carry on with her fourth pregnancy. I know women who get discouraged by the first miscarriage, and frankly I don’t blame them.
Oh my god, James keep getting better and better, and I kind of wish that there were more men like him out there in the world.
Oof, I definitely understand the whole biological clock thing, of there being only a certain time to be pregnant. I don’t know. I think you can get pregnant whenever the hell you want. It just has to be a well thought out decision and know that you can provide the best for the child. I’ve also sort of hated the argument that there is a certain age to get pregnant because being too old is pretty much implying that you can’t have children anymore and your chance is gone. And that’s well… I don’t know. There are definitely more options than just having biological children—adopted children are just the same and are in need of parents too. The parent/child relationship dynamic doesn’t change at all, and it shouldn’t change at all.
I’m really glad that Lily has someone who’s willing to listen to her. I don’t know about you, but everything seems a little less suffocating when you know that you’re not alone in your experiences. Of course, you’re never alone in your experiences, but I do have to say that it’s hard to find those people who are feeling what you’re feeling.
……..I’m going to scream. The idea Lily has of her thinking she might not ever make it to that age of thirty or forty makes me so, so sad because only a year from now she’s going to die to keep her son alive. And it’s so disheartening because you just know that she’s going to miss out on so much of her life and her son’s, and more than anything in the world she deserves to live her life and see those things work out herself. The injustice both Lily and James face makes me so angry every time I think about them because the cards they were handed in life sucked ass.
Oh, Jesus. That must have been a terrifying situation for Lily and Alice to be in. It was ironic, but especially horrifying because they were just talking about losing their children, and they might have lost their children again because of Voldemort. I’m glad they got out of it alive, but we both know they won’t be so lucky next time.
Honestly, I don’t know what I was talking about not having much to say in the beginning. Considering the word count (987) of this review, I had a lot to say. More than I did in my previous reviews, actually. I surprise myself, sometimes.
Great chapter as always! Thanks for writing! xx
And back for numero quatro.
This story made me realize how much we really do stigmatize miscarriages. There seems to be a lot of empathy (fortunately), but also a lot of tip-toeing and more disturbingly among some, judgment. As if the mother did something wrong. I can't imagine that pain and like pregnancy, though it's a deep emotional experience for the father, for the mother it's on an entirely different level.
In terms of the writing, it liked how you peeled back the common portrayal of Lily in particular as this unflinching, fearless person despite everything she, her friends, and the world around her are going through. She is absolutely a very strong character, but it's unrealistic for her not to have fears, worries, and vulnerability. I thought you captured that well in this story.
Thanks so much for sharing this piece with the world! I hope we'll be seeing more soon!
I am back again!
This was a particularly interesting portrayal for me as I happen to be friends with a Jamaican through working in my old county, both with and "against" her in court. She's second-generation I believe so the speech patterns aren't quite as strong, but I think you definitely did the character justice. I also love the way that you paired this bit of history about the Windrush with the story.
I really liked Dorcas's passion for the subject and more importantly the students and the chapter was so laden with the heavy subtext early that grew into more over description later. Rosier certaintly reeks of a slimy political skeeze, but that's a job well done as his character too. We've seen Marlene A LOT in the story and I'm interested to see if we keep doing so - I definitely enjoy reading her.
I'll see you in the last chapter! Excited to read Lily!
This chapter was incredibly powerful. It definitely speaks to an experience I haven't, and as a man, will never have but I thought your writing captured the depth of the emotions perfectly. Dealing with victims of domestic violence on a fairly regular basis, I unfortunately do see the victim-shaming and self-blame you describe as well as comment on in your A/N.
It goes without saying that the characterization of Marlene was incredibly well done and it seems like you've done another incredible job ensuring the accuracy of the Scottish speech pattern and dialect.
I'll see you in Chapter 3!
Hi! I’m here for part three of our review swap! Also, this is my hundredth review, so you have the honor of that! (I’m very happy that I was even able to reach one hundred reviews, haha!)
Hm, from the quote, and your author’s note, I really feel like this might the chapter I’ll relate to the most.
Well, this sounding oddly like the entitled parent that doesn’t want the gay teacher around their kids. This reeks of entitlement, and it makes me especially mad that these bigoted parents can effectively end someone’s career because they don’t like the way someone was born. These are especially the kinds of teachers kids need, but are unfortunately cut off by more powerful people. It’s unfair, and it makes me angry every time a deserving teacher gets fired. That was way off topic, but. It needed to be known.
Impoverished yet exotic. That makes me uncomfortable. Especially the word “exotic.” I’ve seen that word used to describe South Asian girls (in my experience), and there’s just something so disgusting about that term. Most people have said that it’s a compliment, but it only serves to remind me that I’m different than the people around me. I’d never be flattered if someone called me that.
So Regulus Black was hurt by the runespoor, huh? Considering that he wasn’t exactly the most open person in his years at Hogwarts, perhaps it was him that took it to the Board of Governors and had the parents rally around him. I’ve seen people use the most insignificant accidents to get someone fired, especially in cases where the person is someone they don’t like. Although I don’t believe being attacked by a runespoor to be insignificant, Dorcas definitely did everything right, and she still was fired. The cards are really stacked up high against her.
Dorcas Meadowes, as a POC and a muggleborn, it must be really difficult trying to fit into the muggle world and the wizarding world. In the muggle world, she’d receive racism based on the color of her skin and her accent, probably, and in the wizarding world she’d receive hatred based on her blood. To me, this seems like a parallel in my own life, where I’m too “Indian” to live in America, or hell, be an American, and in India, where I’m too Americanized to be Indian. It’s hard walking that line, especially because I receive hatred and distaste from both sides, and have no one backing me up.
Sirius’ presence tells me that it was Regulus who was rallying against Dorcas. While I like the character he turns into, right now I consider him a pretty shitty person. I’m really glad that Dorcas has her students supporting her even if she’s getting fired. It shows that she really made an impact on the students she taught. Well, except maybe the bigoted pureblood students. But who knows, really?
I’m glad that she won’t have to give up her livelihood in light of her termination, though. It would be hard to deal with job hunting and trying to deal with the injustice you’ve just been dealt. I think Dorcas is strong woman on her own, and I’m more than certain that she’ll be able to make her mark on her world.
Thanks for writing! xx
Hi! I’m here for part two of our review swap! I’m excited to read more of this!
Oh wow, the mood changed very quickly. I can pretty much already can tell that I won’t like Travers at all, if considering the fact that Marlene wishes she was wearing a potato sack. It’s not a great place to be in.
Yup, I definitely don’t like Travers. The way he addresses Marlene as if she were a child grates on my nerves. I especially don’t like the implication behind “you move on fast for someone like you.” Travers may not be saying it outwardly, but it sounds like there is some slut-shaming behind the words. I don’t like the way he treats Gideon either, because it sounds like he’s saying that Travers is a much better “lover” than him, which just makes him come off as an arrogant asshat?
I don’t know what “carpet muncher” really means, but Travers probably meant it as a slur, or maybe a hard-hitting insult. Don’t like that either. Without all the history behind Marlene and him, he still would manage to get on her nerves, I think. With all the content warnings and just from Marlene’s actions herself, I can tell where this is going already, and well. I just feel furious on Marlene’s behalf because no one deserves that.
Hm. I guess I can get where Gideon is coming from with the consequences of throwing out such consequences, but I feel like he really isn’t reading the situation correctly, which lends into the fact that he’s making Marlene’s mental state worse. I don’t think he’s a bad guy, but he’s definitely making some bad decisions. This is pretty apparent in the way Gideon sort of butts into the story Marlene is telling him to scold her, and I don’t think that’s what she needs right now. Those kinds of comments don’t really help because it’s clearly a story living in the past, and telling Marlene what she should’ve done doesn’t help. If my assumptions are right, Marlene probably thought about what she should’ve done many a time, so that doesn’t help Gideon’s case. And not to mention the way Gideon tells her that she should’ve gone to someone. Once again it doesn’t help at all. If Marlene wanted to go to them, then she would’ve, I think. It’s her story to tell anyways.
And now, to Marlene’s story. Just, wow. Travers is the worst kind of guy. He’s a piece of shit, that’s for sure, and he’s clearly the sort of guy that’s internalized a lot of toxic ideologies that society holds in regards to men and turned it into a life motto. You could say that society has failed him, but damn, he really failed himself by not seeing past all the bullshit. His worldviews are so harmful to the safety of women and LGBT+ women, and unfortunately these types of guys are numerous in the world.
I’ve never been raped (let’s hope it stays that way), but I understand the stigma around girls liking girls. It’s either abhorred or fetishized, neither of which are good, and it’s these sorts of ideas that makes me want to go back in the closet. I’m not any less ashamed of my sexuality, but sometimes I wonder.
This was a very well-written and thought provoking piece that really resonated with me, and so far it’s one of my favorite chapters! Thanks for writing! xx