Reviews For Project Azkaban


Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 17 Jul 2019 03:22 AM · For: Outside

Ok so I 100% thought I had already left a review for this chapter, but I guess I didn't? Perhaps right after I read it all I had to say was keyboard smash? Unfortunately even after the several weeks since I first read this chapter, my reaction is still keyboard smash because WHOA, HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING, AND PLOT, AND MYSTERYYY. This story is so good. I'm obsessed with it.

 

all while the prison breathed damp air against his face. -- ugh, I can feel this sentence. haha. I really like your word choice. And how it kind of personifies the prison a little, which is awesome because the prison is sort of alive anyway with its changing floorplan and opening doors and stuff. This is honeslty so clever.

 

Teddy's desire to get rid of the others is so interesting. The way he's settled into thinking the prison is his home and cares for him is really eerie. I mean, to an extent I can understand it, because it's familiar and it's all he knows, but the way Teddy clings to what's familiar and is so afraid to look beyond that worries me. I don't know what he's going to do once they get out, where nothing is familiar except possibly Victoire.

 

I also get why Teddy has a crush on Victoire because I kind of do too right now. Look how resourceful she is when literally their whole world has been turned upside down and things are weird and possibly dangerous and she comes up with a plan. She is the best person to have on your team.

 

Those last two paragraphs of the inmates' journey to outside is like a rollercoaster. It's so buoyant - they're escaping, the outside air is fresh and they're free. Aaaaand then DANGER AND CONFUSION, what did Lysander experience that made him run back like that? asjfkasjdlkfas I'm so worried

 

AND THE LAST SECTION IS THE MOST WORRISOME, because the prison is outside the control of its creators and is doing all this on its own. The creators don't know how to stop it or how much power the prison has. And some of them underestimate the danger. Meanwhile it's done something to Lysander who is trying to get back in, and the prison, just like HAL in 2001 A Space Odyssey, is like, I'm sorry Lysander I'm afraid I can't do that. And then this beautiful outside becomes scary like the vacuum of space and I'm possibly getting ahead of myself and adhfkjsfhdkja JUST KNOW THAT I AM WORRIED. It does give me a little comfort that at least one of the project masterminds is concerned for the safety of the participants, and can see/hear what's going on there. At least while they're inside the prison - but what happens now that they're out?

 

Awesome chapter! I loved it! This continues to be such a well written, thought provoking fic.



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 16 Jul 2019 08:41 PM · For: Outside

 

Hey Gina,

 

this was so amazing! I love this chapter so much! I just think it's breathtaking how you managed to create such a fantastic atmosphere in this story because it's what makes it so unique. I don't know anyone who that in their stories at least not like you do. I think it's the way that you use all of Teddy's senses which really stands out. I got such a thrill from reading this, the fact that I can't even guess what is going to happen next so appealing honestly. It's another thing that I adore about this piece. 

 

the writing in this chapter is so vivid, every thoughts and actions is full of motive in this chapter. I love this distrusting dynamic between the two boys. I think that works really well because it makes sense that they wouldn't really know how to deal with people because they have spend so much time alone. I'm loving how Teddy's feelings are developing like he can remembering how important she is.

 

I think my favourite line is 'he felt the smile pulling at his face, felt it emerging like the first rays of sun in the eastern sky. He let it soar.' this line is perfection! it's such beautiful imagery which really makes your writing is rich and vivid. It is a pleasure to read! I'm a big fan of the narration style that you've chosen. WHAT IS GOING ON?! It's killing me but I'm so damn excited to see!!

 

Abbi xx

 

(HC Finale '19 - Vote Maya Chon)

 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 26 Jun 2019 07:00 PM · For: Outside

Hi Gina!

 

I can’t believe you said you were worried about the pacing—I thought the pacing was perfect. It made the chapter really exciting, and I got a bit of a thrill when they figured out a way to escape and were working towards pulling up the bed. I thought it was good that you didn’t spend too much of the chapter focusing on the actual bed-pulling, and instead afterwards focused on their physical pains and injuries from pulling up a bed bolted to the ground. It was really scary seeing the physical damage that pulling up the bed did to them, and how much was required for them to escape, but it was also really exciting watching them figure out a prison break.

 

I thought that Teddy’s immediately willingness to sacrifice himself was also frightening. Like it seemed less of the heroic sort of sacrifice, and more of the giving up sort. Like the way he thought so fondly of his cell was just really really sad—he’s been here for a few months only and already the prison has taken hold of his mind despite being abusive, and the fact that he just wants to remain here living the dismal life of a prison inmate… It was heartbreaking.

 

The women seemed to be affected differently, but Lysander’s reactions were also hard to read about. The way he ran to the prison after it closed itself on them, begging to be let back inside, was devastating. His and Teddy’s dependence on this place is so unhealthy, and the fear of the outdoors and freedom is just. not a good side effect of this prison system. I don’t like it.

 

You write about the effects of the prison so well, though! From the men’s reactions to everyone’s distrust of one another, it all feels so real and believable. At every moment I’m just feeling bitter about the prison and how these are the consequences of a brutal justice system, and it parallels, in some ways, how being in jail for too long in the US can severely limit your ability to rejoin the world once you leave. It’s really tragic to think about. I love the workings of your prison, though, it’s so original and unique.

 

Teddy’s remembered love for Victoire throughout this chapter was so sweet. Like when he tells her to get on his shoulders and he can’t help but smile with such warmth at her omg. Or when he feels regret after offering to stay behind because he’ll lose any chance of being with Victoire again. Or when they hold hands briefly before they get out. I’m looking forward to the two getting closer again as the story progresses!!! They are too cute. I hope Victoire remembers him soon. <3

 

The ending was so shocking though omg. People in charge of the experiment (or, really, just Emmanuel) knew that things were getting messed up, yet continued to run the experiment. Why? So as not to waste government funding? It makes me angry that he would willingly endanger the lives of the recruits like that. He doesn’t seem like a very good person haha. Paulina says she’s going to shut it down…but is the prison going to let that happen? Were the windows closing up Paulina’s doing, or the prison’s?

 

I CAN’T WAIT FOR MORE OF THIS. <3

 

Thank you for pointing me in this story’s direction!!

 

Love,

Eva



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 26 Jun 2019 04:10 PM · For: Strangers

OMG GINA. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. IN A GOOD WAY.

 

The main thing is about the memory loss—how did all of them get small glimpses of their past, including their names, if their memories were supposed to be wiped completely clean? And what exactly was the process of their memories being wiped? Based on the information from the previous chapter, it seems that the goal of the prison is to limit the involvement of humans as much as possible, so is it reasonable to presume that the prison itself wipes the memories somehow, once they step inside? And therefore the shortcircuiting of this memory loss thing is also potentially the doing of the prison? Is the prison actually sentient??? It like self-rearranged its interiors into a labyrinth this chapter so I feel like that last question isn’t too much of a stretch, haha. Also it seems like the prisoners have come to that conclusion as well.

 

If the experiment was derailed by the prison itself, though, through both the loosening of the memory loss magic and the opening of the doors, then why? Is the prison rebelling against the government for some reason? Does the prison have better ethics than the humans involved and therefore doesn’t want the experiment to continue? The thing is, though, they’ve already been serving for a long time—they’ve been in the prison for about four months out of the intended five (one hundred twenty-four days is about four months, right?) so what happened to make the prison behave this way at this point in the experiment? Haha what if there’s like some war happening outside that disrupted government organization and made them lose control of the prison?

 

Sorry, I leapt straight into conspiracy theory territory at the end there. THIS CHAPTER LEFT ME WITH SO MANY THOUGHTS THOUGH.

 

The second thing is, the transcript at the end!! We learn that they’re Unspeakable trainees, which is really interesting. There is so much to unpack in the transcript omg. For one, either Victoire said nothing the whole time, or she wasn’t present. The first option seems slightly unlikely because everyone else spoke at least once, and she would surely have her own reservations about the experiment. Which leaves at least a decent chance that she wasn’t there at all, right? Was she never intended to be a part of the experiment? Does this have anything to do with why she doesn’t remember Teddy, or is that simply because the memories strike randomly, and she just unluckily hasn’t remembered Teddy yet? (I feel like I’m being delusional haha but just gonna keep throwing ideas out there.)

 

And so this means that the aristocratic guy who ran down the hallway shouting “Save yourselves!” is Malfoy, right?? He was present at the transcript, and was also really funny haha, I like him. But also I’m really worried that something bad happened to him, because of Brandt’s ominous warnings about the Fear Generator only affecting people who step outside (and the group’s general concern that they would unknowingly walk into the path of the Fear Generator). Like where did he go? Did he go outside?? I don’t know exactly what this Fear Generator is, but if there’s a risk of people dying (of fright?) when facing it, that is terrifying. So Malfoy, who I’m assuming is Scorpius Malfoy, is one of the two missing numbers.

 

The other is Zabini, right? Who has just been absent the whole time. Like no one saw her run out, and she wasn’t in her cell. I wonder what’s happened to her, like if she wandered off in a different direction from everyone else or if she escaped before the others somehow or if she died. I’m really really curious about her. Oh, also, one more thing about Scorpius—did his status as Obliviator and Legillimens have an effect on him? He was the only one who seemed to have some awareness of what was happening when he ran through the hallway, when he shouted, “Save yourselves!” So perhaps he suffered through this torture knowing a little more about himself than others did?

 

The transcript also showed that these trainees weren’t exactly 100% on board, which is sad. They were all really concerned about things going wrong, and Brandt’s assurances clearly did not hold up well over time haha. (On a different note, I really liked the little bits of humor thrown into the transcript, such as when Brandt asks Underwood to strike things from the record. It was funny.)

 

So, back in the present, our protagonists are left to fend for themselves, really. Their wonder at rediscovering the outside world was wonderfully written, and also really saddening. Imagine having your memories wiped to that extent. It would be absolutely terrible.

 

I’m so curious to see where this goes! Sorry for all my thoughts, I’m sure most of them must be horrendously wrong haha.

 

Love,

Eva



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 26 Jun 2019 02:50 PM · For: Prison Break

Hi Gina! I am here after an unforgivably long wait on your prize reviews. I am so so excited that you requested I review this story, though, because I have been incredibly curious about it every since you posted it initially, but I just shamefully never got around to it. SO THIS IS EXCITING.

 

This first chapter was honestly really thrilling to read. Even though on paper there’s a lot of contemplation and introspection coming from Teddy, I was fascinated by every little detail. I think this was because the whole time I was shocked that Teddy would be in prison, and I was wondering exactly how that happened. Like the Teddy tells us things that are the norm for him, and he thinks nothing of it anymore, but to us, it’s foreign and unique and interesting. (When I say “us” I mean “me,” because you obviously already know this stuff hahaha.)

 

For instance, I wondered how Teddy came to lose his memories, to the point of forgetting his own name. When it was revealed that his name came to him in a flash, and not because he remembered it all along, I was stunned because I didn’t remember Azkaban doing that to people. Just, the entire loss of memory sounded frightening and torturous in many ways, and I was wondering how this sort of thing could be ethical in the wizarding world, you know? (Slightly unrelated, but I was so happy he remembered Victoire!! I love this ship so much. I don’t know if you’ve read this series, haha, but it reminded me of how after Percy Jackson had his memories wiped in the Heroes of Olympus series, he still remembered Annabeth. True love wins all.)

 

It was just interesting to me because he’d only been there a month, and I was wondering how he’d lost his memories so quickly and then regained some back in flashes. And the part that made it sound like Teddy had been born in the cell (which was impossible so I was super interested), when he says that it “held him as a womb, and on the day he opened his eyes, he became its only child,” also made me wonder! Which you then answered!! I’ll get to that soon, omg, I loved the documentation part.

 

The description of the monotony of his cell was just perfect. I felt the tedium and boredom of each day. I was in love with the way you described things. For example, “the reluctant groan of metal bars” is beautiful, and so is “he looked up at the pockmarked ceiling, wiped the water from his lashes, and knew.” I don’t know why I love those two phrases so much but I do.

 

And then the prison break?? And the resulting confusion and internal battle of whether to actually leave or not??? And Teddy’s instincts to check for other people???? IT WAS ALL AMAZING. I have so many questions! Who was the man who ran down the hallway, and was he the one who initiated the breakout? Was he a prisoner or an outsider? How did he manage to hack into the system (or the wizarding equivalent of hack, anyway)? I also initially had a question of why all these different people were here (Teddy, Lysander, Victoire), but you answer that later, I think.

 

When he saw Victoire, I caught my breath because I wanted to see their first interaction, but then you cut it off there hahaha. It was a rough cliffhanger, I wanted to know moreee.

 

OKAY NOW THE DOCUMENTATION PART.

 

I loved the inclusion of a sort of official government document as a way to explain the circumstances that happened in the chapter. And god, while I was reading it, I was just thinking, “This is so horrifying, I’m so glad this can’t actually happen in real life” but let’s be real some of our prisons are pretty unethical too haha. So that was a dumb thought I had. But it was actually horrifying to read, especially the parts about controlling the prisoners’ minds and wiping their memories. The concept of the 2:1 time ratio was so cool though?? (Even though the purpose was to make prisoners serve their full time, doing multiple life sentences, oof.) And really the entire concept of the prison itself is very imaginative and creative, and I was very impressed with the way you constructed it.

 

“Ethically, our trial runs would require willing and able participants. The isolation and memory erasure could be considered akin to torture, though in the punishment of criminals and dark wizards, such features are to be expected.” This was so scary to read. As soon as I got to this part I was like, “Ah is this what Teddy and the other people are doing?” Since presumably Teddy is between twenty and thirty years old in this story, the experiment is still taking place, right?

Were they chosen to act as test subjects for Azkaban 2.0? Though were they actually chosen, or was there some shady underhand stuff going on in the government departments? Like I just don’t see any way that someone would willingly volunteer for this, if they’d been given all the information. I don’t think I would.

 

I AM SO READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OMG.

 

Love,

Eva



Name: Lacey Black (Signed) · Date: 06 May 2019 01:06 PM · For: Prison Break

Hey Gina! 


I am here for our review swap


Wow this story is just...wow! Honestly you write so well, I felt like I was there in that cel with Teddy.  The build up of who he was, where he was, was so well done and drew me right in.  I am left wondering why Teddy, Lysander and Victoire were locked away in Azkaban!?  Who is Calliope? What in the world could be happening to these Next Gen kids ?  What year are we in?  How old are they? 


I REALLY like the veil concept of time and space and how they would allow people to serve their time and in reality time would be halved. I’m excited to see what happens from here on.  I’m really curious who else is in Azkaban 2.0 and what happens now.


Great job


Xo 


LB



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 08 Feb 2019 01:26 PM · For: Strangers

Agh. This is agonizing. Teddy blurts out Victorie’s name, remembering that He knows her but can’t remember her really. Just that he knows her. But by saying her name, he says too much which makes her suspicious of him. Which then throws a wrench in them getting back together organically without remembering their lives. Yeesh.

 

I really like how you’re doing the memory stuff and memory loss. Especially how they can’t remember something until someone says it and triggers that memory or knowledge of that thing existing. 

 

Yikes yikes yikes. The transcript answered a lot but also raised a ton more questions. The people in the prison work as Unspeakables. That’s interesting. Is the Malfoy Draco or Scorpius? Or another Malfoy and you’re disregarding the Epilogue? Since the Malfoy isn’t a trainee, I’m assuming it’s Draco. Just because of age. And that feels like a redemptive career path for Draco too. 

 

So assuming that you’re telling readers the worst possible scenario that they can experience so that you can write the characters going through that horrible experience, then I’m expecting that the plan of Brandt and Co is going to go haywire. Because maybe the ‘prisoners’ don’t have an incentive to escape per se, but they’re showing signs of wanting to go outside. Or at least being curious of seeing the outside. I feel like this is something that the developers missed: the human desire to experience nature and to breathe fresh air. So... which leads us to the Fear Generator. Since you’ve built up the anticipation for it, I’m assuming the prisoners will run into the fear generator. Maaan. This is gonna be intense!

 

I’m really sorry that this took so long to get to. You requested a review ages ago and im now just getting to it. I actually read this chapter like a month ago, but didn’t get to the review. I sort of pulled away a bit from HPFT, but I’m back now and reviewing away! I’m also going to slide this in for RvG February too! Alwynse.



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2019 04:38 PM · For: Strangers

Hey, Gina!

I'm here for the magical menagerie and I thought I'd take the chance to catch up with this fascinating story. :)

Okay, but... I'm worried for what's coming... this Fear Generator thing sounds... not good... and it seems like the Department of Mysteries is already losing control of the prison? And our heroes seem to be determined to get outside... nothing of this bodes well...

Poor Victoire... she seemed so scared and desperate... her reaction to Teddy broke my heart a little... and poor Teddy, too. He feels this connection but he has no idea of the meaning and now he feels like he's lost her trust...

It's interesting how different Cal and Victoire's experiences are different from Teddy and Lysander's. I wonder if there's a specific reason, or if it's just their different characters. I find it also so incredibly impressive the way you write your characters' thoughts, the few things they know and the many things they feel like they should know but don't. How neither of them is really aware of something until someone else mentions it, and then they realize that they'd been thinking the same the whole time. It's so fascinating, if creepy. This whole mental trap is incredibly well built and I'm in awe at your creativity and brilliant writing. It's just so good.

I'm sure there are tons of things I should comment on, but I can't think of them right now... the point is this is brilliant and I can't wait for the next update because I need to know what's going to happen next. Will they find the other "prisoners"? Will they find a way out? Will they be rescued or will they actually face the Fear Generator, whatever that is (I have an idea, and I'm not sure if I want to see the effects)?

Wonderful job, dear!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Thanks for stopping by to leave your thoughts! I'm happy to hear that this crazy idea is working for you. :) It's the strangest thing I've ever written and I am super self-conscious about it, so your support means a lot. Things are just going to get stranger and crazier from this point forward, so I hope you're ready for a wild ride!



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 04 Jan 2019 04:34 PM · For: Strangers

GINA! I'm finally here for the review you requested a couple of weeks ago. I promise the delay was not from lack of interest (more lack of internet) BECAUSE I AM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY BE READING THIS ♥

 

I'm so curious why Victoire doesn't remember Teddy, because at least what I intepret from Teddy's recollections, it seems they may have had a relationship or at least a close friendship in the past. Which leads me to wonder if they broke up before all of this and Victoire had moved on and Teddy hadn't? I'm so curious about the history between the two of them and why they don't have the same memory flashes. At this point my assumption is that because each of them only have flashes of certain things, that those things were very important to them, and in addition to why Victoire doesn't remember Teddy, I'm also curious why Victoire remembers outside and Teddy doesn't. Maybe she played a lot of Quidditch or was just a very outdoorsy person?

 

Clever way of finding out how many there are. One person ran out in the previous chapter but that still leaves one more person unaccounted for...

 

The most nervous I was during this chapter was when the food appeared in Victoire's cell and they all decided t go back to their cells. What if the doors close? And then they're stuck in there again but this time with the knowledge that there are others? I just want to push them out the door. But I do, sort of, understand why they hesitate - this prison is the only thing they can remember. In Teddy's mind, almost, there's a little bit of Stockholm syndrome in that he sees the prison as the thing that takes care of him and feeds him and everything - in with the curiosity about what's outside is also an affection for his cell. It is the only familiar thing and the unfamiliar outside scares him. But I know better, as the reader, and the idea that they'd all go back to their cell again was just terrifying because I don't know yet whether the doors opening was a mistake or a test, but either way I was worried it would reverse.

 

Quick typo fix before I forget:

The others watched her with baited breath -- should be bated

 

Omg this end part is so interesting too. Malfoy. Is it Draco or Scorpius? He's not very popular which makes me inclined to think Draco, haha. And the thing about him retaining his memories makes me wonder if he's the person who ran out (whom I will call Person One until proven otherwise) in the previous chapter - because he remembered more? Where is Person Five? I still haven't forgotten them.

 

One of my questions from the previous chapter has been answered - these people are indeed the trial run and Teddy is not a 'real' criminal. But this chapter has raised more questions than it has answered XD Which is a good thing really. This is a mystery story after all, so it's got to raise questions. And yes, in answer to your question in your request, the mystery is definitely set up well and is attention grabbing. I'm reading every detail with so much thought, that my mind is absolutely swimming with theories that I'm coming up with and then changing them after every other line. I love that in a story :D

 

Lysander's (I'm assuming? It only says Scamander, but there is still a missing person and as far as I know Lorcan could have been here too) comment about "who else is freaking out" has me wondering how this trial group was chosen and just how much information they've actually been given. I wonder how much has been left out. I just can't fathom how anyone in their right mind would agree to the test if they actually knew everything it entailed and how messed up the whole thing is...

 

I did the math and the opening of the doors has to have been a glitch. If the test was to be five months, 124 days is just over 4 months. So it's not the end of the trial run yet.

 

I TAKE IT ALL BACK ABOUT URGING THEM TO GO OUTSIDE WHAT IS THE FEAR GENERATOR? IF THERE WAS A GLITCH THAT LET THEM ESCAPE, THE FEAR GENERATOR KILLSWITCH MIGHT NOT BE WORKING EITHER, CUE PANICKING. And they have no idea what is awaiting them outside. Omg this is so SUSPENSEFUL. But if they don't escape then they'll still be in the prison, and... will they lose their memories forever if they stay in there the full five months? Are the 'flashes' just the last vestiges of memory because they've only been there 4 months? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?

 

The divided set up between what's going on in the prison and the flashbacks to before the trial are a really effective way of getting the full story across while still leaving enough unknown to push the mystery onward. I think it's really well paced.

 

This was another amazing chapter and I'm so excited to see where this story is going!!



Author's Response:

I'm dead.

 

Okay, I'm back.

 

I'm really not sure how to respond to this review, which us why it has taken me so long to write this. I am flabbergasted that you are enjoying the story this much. It just... it's so different than anything I've ever written and I get so self-conscious posting each chapter, so hearing your thoughts and your support is everything to me. Thank you.

 

I LOVE your theories. OMG. You are the best. I love that you're catching all the little details and the hints I'm dropping. Mysteries are hard because I want to be subtle but not too subtle that my readers don't catch anything. I love that you figured out how long they've been there and realized that the doors open has to be some sort of error. I love that you're freaking out over them being separated and worried about The Fear Generator (I am too, and I've already written the whole story!).

 

You are wonderful and I hope to have the next chapter out this week because I failed at writing the last month.



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 30 Dec 2018 08:40 PM · For: Prison Break

This is ... different. I'm not sure how I feel about this. The beginning was confusing, but I think you wrote it that way on purpose. I did understand that Teddy was in a situation where he had for some reason been altered cognitively.

 

I like how you started out with the days thing. It sets the stage. And then it really sets the stage in the set-up, I think. Because he has no memory of what life was before he started counting, so how does he know to count? Some part of him hangs onto reality: the counting, his name, and a hazy image of Victorie. It's so sweet that he can sort of remember her. And at the end there, when he remembers her name! So cute.

 

I understood better from the second half. Without that, I think I'd be lost. And with the second half, I'm very intrigued. A time-space continuum -- what could possibly go wrong ? :D Plenty, I'm sure. I'm anticipating a tear in the Space or Time, since that seems to be the worst thing that could happen. So I'm thinking that either they get stuck there or they come back in a parallel universe where Voldemort won the war. Or both! Anyway, looking forward to chapter 2!

 

Belatedly reviewed for your request, and I'm also going to tag on RvG December here - go GOLD!



Author's Response:

Thanks for your review! You are absolutely right--this is the most "different" story I think I've ever written. I'm glad to hear that you're intrigued! I knew I had to include some information at the end or there would be too many questions. I hope you'll be back to read more!



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 26 Dec 2018 07:12 AM · For: Prison Break

Hello, Gina, happy holidays!

I decided to profit of the wishlists to check out this story, which I've been curious about for a while (also, I feel like I haven't read enough of your wonderful writing, so I suppose it's time to fix that...)

Wow! This is scary! This new idea for Azkaban is almost as bad as the original one? The idea of prisoners being kept in complete isolation and erased of every memory, to the point where they believe nothing else outside their cells and dayly routines exists... it's just unsettling?

I'm wondering now... are Teddy and everyone else volunteers helping the tests of the new structure (that's what I understood from the project's description, and what would make most sense, since I can't see Teddy, Victoire and Lysander all being criminals...) or are they actual prisoners? And if so, what are they there for?

I'm also wondering who broke them out and why, and what will happen now. Even if they aren't isolated in their cells anymore, they are still trapped into a sort of parallel dimension, right? And they still have no memories, although something is coming to the surface... I wonder how this all is going to develop...

Wow, this is such a fascinating idea! And your writing is just brilliant! I could feel your characters so strongly and visualize everything so vividly. You are truly an amazing writer!

Happy holidays again!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Thanks for stopping by, dear! I'm glad to hear that you think the story is fascinating! Sometimes I worry that my crazy ideas are only good in my own head, so thank you for the support!

 

I totally agree--this new prison is not any better than the original. Its creator believes he has made improvements, but as you will see, others are not convinced. ;) As for the characters, well, I can't say much without spoiling things, but they are definitely still in an alternate dimension. Not that they know they are, of course. Heh heh.



Name: poppunkpadfoot (Signed) · Date: 23 Dec 2018 10:14 PM · For: Strangers

Hi Gina! I'm so excited! I totally didn't even realize that this story had a second chapter already :D So I'm here with a belated review (just in time for the holidays!)

I think you're doing SUCH a fantastic job with the pacing of this story. In both chapters you carefully give us just the right amount of information for the story (and the intrigue!) to build, without doing any info-dumping and also without leaving too much out and making everything completely confusing.

I thought it was really interesting and effective how you had all of the prisoners (or at least all the prisoners who've found each other so far... where's One and Five?!) sort of... piecing together the situation? That each of them had sort of had a different experience of the prison and that each of them realized different things about what was going on - like that Victoire knew that there was something outside the prison, whereas that hadn't occured to anyone else. (It's also so different from Azkaban 1.0, which was by all accounts experienced pretty uniformly by all prisoners.)

Ah! The transcript at the end makes me so scared for them! It answers some of the questions I had after the first chapter (i.e. are Teddy and Victoire criminals? Does Teddy not remember anything because that's an effect of the prison or has something gone wrong?) but it also means things are VERY bad! It definitely seems now that they're in a test run that's gone wrong - what with the "save yourselves" guy - and that makes this Brandt person's assurances that they won't have to face the Fear Generator (which I do not like the sound of At All) ring very hollow...

Gina, you're totally killing it with this story! I can't wait for another chapter! :D

Love,

Kayla



Author's Response:

Excuse me while I melt into a puddle.

 

But really... let me try to make words because I am so grateful for your support.

 

Thank you for stopping by and offering your thoughts. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story thus far and I LOVE hearing all of your theories about the characters, especially Brandt. He is a favorite of mine and I've been having a lot of fun fleshing out his character. You'll see more of him in chapters to come--or rather hear from him, since he's not in the prison. I hope the next chapter does not disappoint!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2018 11:10 PM · For: Strangers

Hi Gina! I’m back again for December RvG! Also, because I’ve read the first chapter of this multiple times now (once during the POGs, once for the SOTM review column, and just now to write that last review - honestly, how I never managed to write a review until today still confuses me), I’ve been super pumped for this second chapter to come out and for the story to continue.

 

Once again, you’ve managed to capture so much confusion in Teddy’s thought processes and the behaviours of the other characters - it’s really interesting that you’re exploring the totally different ways that their time in prison has impacted them - Teddy and Lysander were oddly secure in their isolation, while it really took a toll on Cal and Victoire. It’s just really interesting how the same scenario can impact people totally differently - gah, the psychology of this whole thing is just SO. COOL.

 

I also really love that each person has maintained totally different flashes of memory (and that one of Teddy’s was Victoire’s name, because awww) because those differences mean that they’re all contributing different facts to the situation to figure out where they are and what they should do next. And everything about the gap between Teddy and Victoire is heartbreaking at this point - especially from Teddy’s POV because he’s having these feelings he can’t describe which just makes me think that ‘oh my god he’s in love with her but neither of them remember.’ MY HEART.

 

And then the end of this narrative section is such a great little hook for the next chapter, because they’re clearly about to go through even more crazy trials in either attempting to break out through the windows or going through the new maze of hallways in the prison. I get the feeling that even more mind games are coming up  next.

 

And then the transcript. I didn’t realise this was going to be a thing in every chapter when I reviewed the last one, but I LOVE THAT IT IS. It’s such a great way to get glimpses of the world outside of this alternate reality that all the characters are living in, as well as get context for what’s actually happening in the chapter. And we get glimpses of the character’s real personalities before they were brainwashed (mind-wiped?) going into the prison. The brief flashes of humour here - “please strike that from the record” - are really well-placed, and the use of only last names establishes a nice bit of intrigue trying to match people here to the people in the earlier narration (some people are easy, but Cal isn’t, and also I’m curious as to which Malfoy they’re referring to, because I’m assuming Draco but it could be Scorpius so who knows).

 

But also. I feel like there was SO MUCH FORESHADOWING HERE AND I AM SCARED FOR THESE POOR CHARACTERS. The ‘we have programmed a kill switch’ line makes me think that for some reason the kill switch isn’t going to work and the prison is going to completely take over and develop a mind of its own, and the whole Fear Generator part is…… OH GOD YOU’RE GOING TO PUT THEM ALL IN THE FEAR GENERATOR, AREN’T YOU? I have no idea if either of these were meant as foreshadowing (or if you’ve thrown some red herrings in here), but I get the feeling that things are only going to get way, way worse for these characters from here.

 

Anyways, this chapter was incredible and I’m so happy that you wrote this story for your NaNo project because I NEED MORE.

 

-Taylor



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2018 10:46 PM · For: Prison Break

Hi Gina! So, I keep swearing I’ve reviewed this first chapter, but somehow I haven’t? So I’m here doing that now, and also counting this for December RvG!

 

I really love that this story starts by throwing you straight into the action, without a clear understanding of how we got to this position in the first place. It leads to a lot of suspense and questions - what did Teddy do to get put Azkaban? Did he actually commit a crime or was he falsely accused of something? Why is his thought process so thoroughly addled? You do a great job of using his confusion and foggy mental state to really set the scene and show just how much he’s been affected by his time in this magical prison.

 

And then the ending of the chapter is where everything clicks into place, and it’s perfect. I like that you included this report-style excerpt at the end of the chapter - it allows all the events we’ve just witnessed to click into place and gives them more context, but by having it at the end of the chapter you still get that action-packed beginning in this chapter as well. Also, the concept of a self-sufficient prison where time exists on an altered plane of reality is so intriguing and so horrifying all at once? And, although I’m not sure about this, the proposal makes it sound like this might’ve been the trial run, which means Teddy could’ve  actually been completely innocent and entered into this willingly, only to have the it turn from just a trial into his whole perception of reality.

 

This whole thing really gives me strong Stanford Prison Experiment vibes, in that it’s an experiment that seems like it’s gone completely out of control and the people in prison have started to convince themselves they belong there and don’t remember the outside world - except all of this is magnified because it’s in a magical prison so there’s all sorts of additional factors at play, like the altered timeline and memory wipe.

 

This is such a cool and interesting concept for a story, and I’m really excited to see how it develops from here!

 

-Taylor



Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2018 10:09 AM · For: Strangers

Howdy again, Gina! I was psyched to see this in my thread, even though I obviously failed to refresh it and missed this instead of plowing through the multi-chapter ahead of yours first. Sorry!

 

So, I really like the transcript in connection with the rest of the chapter. It looks like they've escaped their cells a little under a month before the "simulation" ends and I'm more than a little concerned for their safety and potential contact with this new danger - the Fear Generator. Perhaps they will track down Malfoy and he WILL remember not to leave the prison, but at the same time, everyone's memories are gone and so it's very possible that he won't and then...you've already built the suspense. DUN DUN DUN.

 

I also like the way you handled the group bewilderment and their tiny recollections - "flashes" - that come as they begin to understand certain concepts and by extension the world again. One thing I'm am curious about in that regard is their retention of vocabulary. It seems that the obliviation went deep enough to erase their identities and as they have to begin to reclaim these words and concepts, it's interesting that their vocabularies haven't eroded in the sense that they just don't know the words for things anymore. I suppose the obliviation is quite targeted (we know it can be targeted to varying degrees in canon), but it was just something interesting to me, even if only on a sort of philosophical level. It would be hard to escape together without being able to communicate though wouldn't it (:p).

 

As usual your dialogue is awesome and the introduction of certain character dynamics is nicely done as well. I'm interested to see what becomes of Teddy as "the enemy" in Victoire's mind and this Cal character who seems like she was either a partner recruit or something or is...interested...in Victoire. In fact, tracking back to the earlier chapter, I'm pretty interested in Cal generally. I get the sense that there's a lot more to her given how quickly she "remembered" herself before. It felt almost like she was covering her tracks with the "Cal" statement. Who can say. In any event you've succeeded in getting me puzzled already so...CONGRATS!

 

Still loving the story! Keep up the great work!



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 14 Dec 2018 03:22 PM · For: Strangers

 

Hey Gina!

 

A little birdy told me that you had updated! ;) so I'm here to continue spreading some Christmas joy as well as for RvG.

 

GINA. THIS IS AMAZE. I said that you were a good story teller in my last review and this could not be more true! How unique and inventive is this story? It kinda has the whole package because it's got a love story aspect but it's a twisted mystery too.

 

Teddy's inner monologue is excellent, his confusion is so well played. I feel for him that he remembers only bits and pieces but Victorie is the one thing that he seems so sure of. (that and the prison being in charge!). I'm shipping them so hard! There are so many questions to be answered but I adore the narrative, how it'll come together piece by piece like a jigsaw. I thought the description of the outside by victorie was interesting. She seem to come alive speaking about that.

 

I'm obsessed with how you've structured the story between the two split sections. I think it's such a clever way to do things so it gives the reader more information than the characters is really interesting. It'll be cool to see the character's figure out all this stuff. 

 

What happened to 1 and 5? where are you? is one Malfoy? he seems unaccounted for at this point right? I think my head is ready to explode at this point. 

 

HOW DID THIS PLOT COME OUT OF YOUR BRAIN?! It's insane and I'm obsessed with this story. 

 

- Abbi xo

 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 13 Dec 2018 05:44 PM · For: Strangers

Hi Gina!  I was so excited to see you'd posted a new chapter of this story, and I'm stopping by for December's RvG Review Battle :)

 

Ah, this didn't disappoint at all!  This was so amazing - baffling and chilling and intriguing and just brilliantly written.  You've managed to give us a little more information about the prison set-up and the people who are inside Azkaban at the moment, but at the same time I still have so many questions, possibly more than at the end of the first chapter, and I'm so curious to find out what's going to happen!

 

The opening was so heartbreaking - Teddy just knowing Victoire's name, but making himself into an enemy in a way because of that, because nobody knows that information and they haven't spent time with other people for - I'm not sure how long, but possibly up to five months?  The way that you played with the ideas of what they know and remember was fascinating - Teddy knowing Victoire's name because of what she means to him, and yet he doesn't remember there's such a thing as outside until it's pointed out to him.  It kind of reminded me a bit of when I'm trying to think of a name or something that I know I know but can't remember until someone else says it, and then I know it instantly.  The memories are all vanishing from them - or being taken - and yet it seems that they haven't succeeded in taking everything from the inmates yet.

 

It was also so interesting to see the way that the different inmates had been responding to the imprisonment, especially after reading the second half of the chapter when we learn that their purpose is to create an environment that they won't want to leave.  Teddy and Lysander both seem to have grown quite comfortable and happy in their cells, but Victoire and Cal haven't.  I'm sure they - or the prison (eep!) - will be noting all of that down with interest.

 

Teddy's suggestion that the prison is the one in charge, rather than there being someone behind it, definitely doesn't seem to be as far from the mark as we might have thought, especially when we see the prison changing completely so that they can't get back to their cells.  I have so many questions about what's going to happen - where the other inmates are, how long they've been here for.... This is just so intriguing!

 

And then the final section of the chapter, with the partial transcript of the briefing.  So they're all Unspeakable trainees - that seems so entirely unethical!  Even if they were able to give consent as adults, they're surely entitled to be trained fully before they're asked to participate in something like this... And I'm curious about where Malfoy is, too, and what he's doing in the prison - whether he's working with the people on the outside, or minding his own business, or will end up relying on the others.  There are so many possibilities that it's really fascinating.

 

The last paragraph has me so worried, though - I suspect that the trainees are going to try and get out of the prison at some point, but despite their promises, I'm not sure that the Ministry will hold true to their promise not to make any of them face the Fear Generator, which sounds absolutely terrifying...

 

Sian :)



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 13 Dec 2018 11:14 AM · For: Strangers

GINA HOLY HELL! CHAPTER TWO IS JUST AS AMAZING! ALL HAIL!

 

I am here with your requested review and also for December's RcG and I apologize in advance if this is a hot mess, though I will try and comment on everything that you asked me to comment on in a reasonbly coherent manner.

 

To start, YES it grabs my attention, oh my god does it grab my attention! POOR TEDDY WHO KNOWS AND LOVES VICTOIRE WHO CAN'T REMEMBER A THING ABOUT HIM MY HEART IS BREAKING! You wrote everything about that SO WELL throughout this, all those little moments, where he just wants to love and protect her but doesn't want to scare her anymore than he already has. I just--I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ALREADY AND WANT ALL THE NICE THINGS FOR THEM GINA, I NEED THEM TO BE OKAY!

 

I love this squad--they each bring something to the table and I think it's going ot be amazing seeing them work together to get out of this prison. They already work so well together, figuring out that they were even trapped in a prison (and learning about OUTSIDE, just the CONCEPT OF OUTSIDE was another heartbreaking piece, poor Victoire so so sad after and Teddy, just wanted to help her stand to look out the window and then comfort her, and noticing THAT SHE'S LOST HER SPARK OMG I AM DYING). 

 

I love how sure Teddy is that the prison is in charge--there is so much that he's very confident about and yet still so much that he has no idea about and I'm curious to see how that will play out as the squad starts working together more to try and escape. Liek Victoire was so confident about there being an outside and I'm excited to see how everyone's knowledge will come together. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE PRISON HAS CHANGED! That was a wild twist, not going to lie; now they're commited to this and they have to move foward.

 

My guess right now is that Malfoy is probably prisoner 1, hiding out somwhere and that his legilimency skills have definitely helped make him not panicky like this crew. Prisoner 5, of course, was the save yourself guy, who panicked and threw himself into the void and I have absolutely zero idea what happened to him--is he sitting safely back in the ministry? dead in a ditch? facing the fear generator alone? honestly have zero clue, kinda want to find out. Is Cal Emilia Zabini? She was so confident in her name but she could ahve been remebering something differently.  I AM VERY NERVOUS ABOUT THIS FEAR GENERATOR GINA! IT SOUNDS VERY OMINOUS AND THEY SAY THE EXPERIMENT WILL STOP BEFORE THEY HAVE TO FACE IT BUT I'M VERY SKEPTICAL!

 

anyway, re: the things you asked me to comment on. the mystery is set up VERY WELL! There are just enough hints for things that I AM DYING (dying, Gina, dying) to know more, but not so many that I'm confused about everything that's happening! The pacing is great! Honestly, it's perfectly on point, moving along at just the right speed to keep dropping clues, and everything is totally believable. I am truly amazed at how you created this world--it's so well done! I will be anxiously awaiting chatper 3 and the rest of the story because I NEED TO KNOW MORE!! Amazing job Gina, great chapter!!-Sarah


Name: Rhaenyra (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2018 12:34 PM · For: Prison Break

Damn, Gina. Was this the project you were working on during NaNo? I hope so, because I need more of this.

 

I will admit that I haven’t read as much Next Gen as other eras (I know, I know). The need to do so much world building has also kept me off of writing it. It is clear that you have nailed all this though. Clearly, the Department of Mysteries and the Unspeakables have been very busy in the decades since the end of the Second Wizarding War.

 

I love how you have given us just a taste of so many things. Teddy was clearly a Hufflepuff and knows Victoire. He must have some strong sense of discipline to continue push ups and the like while in prison, feeling like he is the only person in the world (chills at that description, by the way). The unknown feelings he is getting about himself and the past, like the fact that he wouldn’t leave a person behind, make me want to know more. Ditto for the descriptions you have given in the official document from 1998. This is clearly a complex experiment, giving me hints of the Stanford Prison experiment, but mixed with a bonus of space/time. The concept of time being off so they can serve multiple life sentences is really cool, but sad that it needs to exist.

 

Volunteers!? <— my reaction to that plot twist at the end. I repeat: damn, Gina. That completely changed my expectations of what we will learn of past events.

 

This is soooo good. At risk of sounding cliche, update soon. ;)



Name: M C Crocker (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2018 11:21 AM · For: Prison Break

Okay, I was about to say, please tell me that there is going to be more, to this story but I saw the shell and saw that the story is not done.  I am already in love with this story.  There are so many questions in my head of 'why', 'how', 'when'.  This gripped me from the start and I cannot wait until you update becuase I want to read more.

You have done a fabulous job of showing the character's loss of identity and the isolation they have experienced.  You have created a very interesting premise and I feel like I'm leaving such a crap review for you when I love this story so much already.  I am looking forward to a new chapter and see what you have in store for the characters being trapped in this Azkaban 2.0 which seems to have taken control based on your summary.



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 02 Dec 2018 12:30 PM · For: Prison Break

 

Hey Gina!

 

I'm here to spread some Christmas cheer and check off something from your wish list too!

 

I thought this whole piece was so interesting. I'm already really interested in where this piece is going as this chapter offers certain clues but it offers up a lot more questions too. I think you'v done an amazing job at really engaging me in your writing because I'm now horrified that there is only one chapter of this (but I'm informed that someone had a successful NaNo!).

 

So your description is so vivid, you've really helped me build up this picture about what is going on. I love all the little details that you've included, just some really stunning imagery here. One of the (many) things that you did well was present Teddy's thought process because it wasn't clear, his mind was so foggy up with different things, his memories lost. It was all very confusing for him and you played that really well. I think it was interesting seeing that he was so amazed by other people. 

 

So the ending is where it gets very intriguing. I love the formatting of the project proposal. It was a very unique way to take the narrative. I think that is a real strength in your writing, you're a wonderful storyteller. I'm super excited to see what you have planned for this story and how everything is going to come together. 

 

- Abbi xo

 

 

 



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 28 Oct 2018 09:44 PM · For: Prison Break

Hey Gina! This was such a great setup! I loved the entire thing with Teddy in his cell, knowledgeable enought to know he had a life before Azkaban, but at the same time not knowing what that life was, only getting certain flashbacks without any context. I was so curious throughout reading this entire chapter, wandering what was going on and how he got there. He seemed to think he was the only person in existence, which sounds like a really lonely life. 

And then, when they're released we learned they all were living like this. Completely unaware for each other. I liked how Calliope and Lysander seemed to cling to Teddy when they discovered him, like he was once their leader in another life and it was instinctual to follow him. 

And the ending with the Project Proprosal was great! It explains a lot, but I'm still so curious to read more about them all. Like how did they end up there? What made them volunteer? Were they working in the Department of Mysteries? How long were they in there? How will they adjust as they return to their lives from before? I also love the idea of the self functioning prison, it's like Smart House meets the Matrix or something of that sort. 

I do hope you update more chapters soon!

xxNix



Name: Nix (Signed) · Date: 21 Oct 2018 09:24 PM · For: Prison Break

Hey Gina! This was such a great setup! I loved the entire thing with Teddy in his cell, knowledgeable enought to know he had a life before Azkaban, but at the same time not knowing what that life was, only getting certain flashbacks without any context. I was so curious throughout reading this entire chapter, wandering what was going on and how he got there. He seemed to think he was the only person in existence, which sounds like a really lonely life. 

And then, when they're released we learned they all were living like this. Completely unaware for each other. I liked how Calliope and Lysander seemed to cling to Teddy when they discovered him, like he was once their leader in another life and it was instinctual to follow him. 

And the ending with the Project Proprosal was great! It explains a lot, but I'm still so curious to read more about them all. Like how did they end up there? What made them volunteer? Were they working in the Department of Mysteries? How long were they in there? How will they adjust as they return to their lives from before? I also love the idea of the self functioning prison, it's like Smart House meets the Matrix or something of that sort. 

I do hope you update more chapters soon!

xxNix



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 07 Oct 2018 04:35 PM · For: Prison Break

Gina! Here for RvG (Team Gold). And also, I think this won SotM, so congratulations on that! :)

 

And, uh, wow. What kind of mind trickery is this? Don't get me wrong--I love being this thrown off, stumbling mentally around, wondering what in the world I just read... and how any of it can make sense. Merlin's beard, this was an intensely fun read!

 

My heart goes out to Teddy so, so much in the beginning. I'm wondering, "What did he do to deserve such a fate?" And also, is this extreme solitary confinement... legal?! I know that the wizarding world has a highly questionable justice system, but I was hoping that maybe it has improved since the Battle of Hogwarts. 

 

But then again, this project was started before that, which makes me think that's the reason why it's gotten so far along. That ending section is very official sounding (well done), and I like how you flush out this concept and tie in different strands of the Department of Mysteries.

 

I think Teddy's... awakening and reunification with Victoire is paired brilliantly with this official sounding document. We have our characters. We have our setting. We have our purpose. It's clear that the characters want to know what's going on and ultimately want a way out, so now we have our purpose. This is a great beginning chapter, and I can't wait to see what unfolds next!



Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 17 Sep 2018 01:50 PM · For: Prison Break

hey gina! i'm leaving this for the house cup opener 2018/2019 :D

 

so i actually wanted to read this ever since you posted in my UFG topic and asked for a banner with the title 'Project Azkaban' - it sounded so ominous, mysterious and intriguing! and when i read the summary it was like i was reading an intro to an incredible book i'd want to binge-read.



this whole concept of a self sustaining prison, managing to control space and time, making it possible to do multiple life sentences - it's very dystopian and i'm literally dying to know more!



why is teddy in prison? and lysander and victorie? what could they have possibly done? where is harry/hermione/ron - is this something they'd approve (especially hermione - i'm not sure her moral compass would allow it....but after a war, i wouldn't be surprised, tbh)? why were the prisoners made to be so isolated (oh i see now the answer at the end)? so many questions....



 it's obvious this story has a fantastic start, i mean, there's absolutely no way that i won't read the next chapter as soon as you post it and that's probably something every author loves to hear!



i do wonder why they'd erase the memories of the incarcerated - without no memories, they don't actually know anything else besides the prison, making the serving of their sentence far easier. i'm not sure they'd get rehabilitated in such a way (which is the ultimate goal of a prison?)

 

how did you decide to use teddy as the protagonist? (if it's not too much of a spoiler!)

 

this was a really great read!

 

kris



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