It's really been way too long - like WAY too long - since I read one of your stories. However, I definitely didn't forget how talented you are and how much I enjoy your writing.
There's so much happening here in this first chapter, but you've really pulled it off - rather than being confusing or overwhelming, it builds up from being just intriguing to being both intriguing and exciting. I have so many questions! Teddy's in Azkaban?! What happened?! And Victoire's there too? Are the effects that the prison has had on Teddy (thinking he's alone in the world, forgetting his name, forgetting his life) intentional, or has something gone wrong with the project?
I really like that you ended the chapter with the project proposal. I think that without it, the chapter would border on being confusing, whereas its inclusion keeps everything intriguing and interesting. And I like that it's at the end rather than at the beginning, because that allows the tension to build without the reader's perception of events being coloured by the proposal and without them prematurely jumping to conclusions about what's going on.
This is a really unique story and you've pulled this first chapter off extremely well. You've definitely left me VERY curious and wanting more! Fantastic job!
Kayla! *major hugs*
You are so sweet. Thank you. Reading this review is a huge relief because I was so nervous this first chapter was just a great big ball of confusion. I’m glad it was the correct amount of confusing with some intriguing thrown in. I’m really enjoying this story so far, and I’m so happy to hear that you’ve enjoyed it too!
Whaaaaaaaaaat?! Gina. This. Is. Awesome.
I mean, I'm not surprised that it's awesome. Reading the beginning I really felt like Teddy's confusion and altered mental state really came through. He was grasping at straws mentally and you described everything so beautifully. I feel like I'm just repeating myself but the mental exertion Teddy goes through just to hold onto his identity is jarringly painful. The description of his cell being as a both mental and physical is very hard hitting. When he heard the voice I wasn't sure at first if it was real which was brilliant. After reading the dossier/proposal in the second half, all the temporal distortion makes complete sense but it's even more sad knowing what he's going through.
Teddy's reaction to Cal and Lysander really show how mentally unstable prison has made him. I'm glad that movement and conversation seem to be getting the cobwebs out of Teddy's head. What a cliffhanger you ended on!
Okay, the proposal. It's so unique and original and I love it. It's heartbreaking to know what they've been going through but I'm dying to know if they are locked up or trapped by accident.
I can't wait to read more of this.
Hi! Here for Gryffie Review Tag (and also because I've been looking forward to reading this since you originally mentioned Teddy Lupin prison break fic and was in the middle of reading anyway so would have defintiely been here regardless!) :)
Oh my gosh this was such a thriller! You've created such a unique world and I am so excited to read more of it. This first chapter has me on the edge of my seat wanting more and I absolutely can't wait to know what happens.
I think you really characterized Teddy well as he sits in this prison for 123 days (or 24 or 125) and that part especially really showed how difficult that life can be. The little game he plays where he counts his breaths to 1000 was kind of heartbreaking and also how he didn't know his name until it just came to him one day! I loved how he made sure to check for others and kind of rallied the group and gasped when he saw Victoire (which seems like it may be the only name he knows besides his own?). I totally want to know more about the two of them.
The Project Azkaban file was a really neat way to give us more information about the story without giving everything away. I'm super intrigued by everything now and absolutely can't wait for what happens next!
Wow! This is super intriguing! Call me VERY intrigued about the whole setup. I don’t think you have anything to worry about with the action. It’s GREAT action, with all kinds of suspense thrown in. I love it!
Firstly, the first scene. Haha. Well, duh. I think the first scene was a fantastic way to show what’s on the inside of this project and how the project is coming along. Clearly, these people have been brainwashed in a very thorough way, and it’s disturbing how well that worked. I’m very nervous for all the people inside, and also nervous for the person who imagined that he could break out of a place like that. Like… are they gonna recapture everybody and make it WORSE!!?? That would be a nightmare.
The whole concept of this is disturbing and frightful. And of course now, I wanna know more!
Great first chapter!
Hi, Gina. I stopped by grabbing a chance, Gryffindor Review Tag. I thought of dropping a review at your Amelia I read the other day, but your new story title showed up on this front page and I chose this first.
Wow, it's a thrilling read. I remembered the film titled, 'Escape Plan' we watched on TV in my country. The beginning shot is just like the film. Someone let Teddy stay in the cell where it seems hard to escape. Many wonders spinning in my head. Did he do a sort of horrible crime? Why did he forget his memory? The woman he could barely remembered must be Victoire. It's sad two people were forced to live parted.
The latter half seems to explain all for readers. So recruits agreed to jojn the experiments. They tried to let them be safely in the cells. But I had fear. From the first of this chapter, three people apparently try to run away. What is the kill switch? I hope the recruits would be in no danger.
As a whole, it's a really cliffhanger. When you update this, please twitter at Gryffindor CR. I'll come back.