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Reviews For spartan

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 29 Jul 2018 07:35 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: dream

Ahahah! Poor Leo... They really just left him there? (I guess, like Drew pointed out, that it's almost like Leo has a gods-given mouth that also works as a tool for comunication, so he could just call them back instead of typing? But I still feel bad for the poor guy... :P)

Allow me, dear, to introduce you to a concept called...storytelling. Oh, gods, I love this! :D Once again, appreciations for Drew's descriptive abilities, btw... they are quite remarkable. :P

That duel must have been entertaining. :P And, wow, Drew is really incredibly sweet when she talks about Reyna... And... is Reyna starting to reciprocate the attention? I still can't imagine two people more different but... hey, opposites attract, right? :)

I would just like to say, rocks can't move.

Oh, wow. Thank you, Son of Poseidon, for your all-encompassing wisdom this fine evening. Never in this life, or the next, or the next, could I ever have-

This is another favourite passage! Let's be honest, the whole chapter is a favourite passage, it made me giggle so much!

A question... who is Katie (in the canon story, I mean), because I don't remember her at all... I should really reread Percy Jackson sometime, btw...

Also, I found it so funny that they referenced other fandoms... the idea of Leo writing Wolfstar fanfiction was hilarious... :P (I didn't really get the GoT reference, I've never read/watched GoT, but that's not important...)

I'm sure there are thousands of things I should mention and I haven't, but just... this story is awesome and hilarious and I love it so much!

And I love you so much, too!

Snowball hug, darling, and thank you for the swap!

Chiara



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 23 Jul 2018 04:17 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: dream

HEY! I'm behind on reviewing Spartan! D: ! 

 

Hah! The liberties Drew takes translating on Leo's transcript is hilarious. Poor Leo, though! I think Leo might be my baby now, so I have to protect him from being tied to a chair :( poor boy (even though it's just his shoelaces tied to the legs of his chair ... poor stupid boy... ha).  The level of drama in this is absolutely stellar, as per usual. Future generations might not be laughing at this (though I doubt it) but I certainly am.

 

I love that Reyna bested her in a duel and that she places blame on things like the 'disobedient' shield and the rock (AND LOL Percy with the whole, 'rocks can't move' thing) -- ahaha. Of course Reyna would beat Drew in a duel and it totally makes sense that Reyna really didn't have to actually do any dueling to win. 

 

I CAN'T BREATHE JUST STOP I don't even think I'd laughed as fucking hard as those two were when Remus Lupin showed up in the Harry Potter films sporting a mop on his upper lip. Can - I - JUST! OMG. This is definitely something Drew would do, and I'm cracking up. Thewlis definitely wasn't who I thought would be portraying Lupin, either, but, you know... Hahah! And as prideful as Drew is, she must have been SO humiliated, especially because she's in lurve with Reyna and Reyna not only 'beat' her, but called her indelicately gifted. I mean, Drew needs to be knocked down a few pegs at times but I still feel bad.

 

AND MY POOR IDIOT BOY! Haha! I secretly love that he drives everyone so insane that they don't want him to sit near them. Poor boy. So they stick him with Drew. Poor boy times ten! And, yeah, he's kind of right, undoing her charmspeak command IS pretty big for Drew...and I love that Drew is denying that she's got a crush on Reyna :P. WHEN THEY GONNA KISS? WE NEED KISSES! Okay, so, I get that they're PRETTY FAR away from kissing at this point. But! Kisses! AND THEY TEASE HER RELENTLESSLY! Ahahaha! 

 

Hooray! Leo got his ice cream! 

 

Even being humiliated can't slow Drew down (only over-pampering herself can slow her down) on her mission to befriend (date) Reyna! Ahaha, I love how Annabeth calls her crush on Reyna adorable (it totally is). :P That's certainly a plot twist, to intend on using someone, only to fall in lurve with them along the way, because the Drew/Reyna ship is strong. 

 

Of course she admires Cersei Lannister -- oh. my. goodness.  But I'm uber excited to see Reyna teaching her how to fight with a sword -- OMG that's hot on like a hundred different levels. Like, something about sword-fighting and and femslash is like...a billion degrees. I'll read fifty-thousand words of just Reyna teaching Drew how to sword-fight. Plus. Little touches are adorable. 

 

I LOVE THAT SHE WENT TO NEW YORK TO FIND A PROMISE RING. Ahaha, and I absolutely love everyone's reactions when they first think it's an engagement ring, hahha! 

 

BUT THEY LEAVE MY POOR BOY TIED UP! 

 

Ahhh! This was another great chapter! <3 I love this story.

 

Thanks for the swap!! O/

 

-Rumpels

 



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 16 Jul 2018 08:11 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: draft

Ahahah! The no swearing challenge worked wonderfully! :P And honestly, determining who is more dramatic between Drew and Leo is quite hard... :P I love their costant bickering, it's so hilarious (and I love that all the others find it amusing as well, even if they technically can't hear Leo, because he's typing... which is another concept of this story that I love, the format is so unique and it works so well!)

Mitchell and Lacy are integral to my character development, so I couldn't just leave them out. I think this is my favourite line in the chapter! Ahahah! I love it!

Side note... Percy and Annabeth are actually kind of adorable? I am quite fond of those two as a couple. :)

This Drew/Reyna "relationship" is... interesting, so far. I keep wondering what's going to happen between them. And... a duel? Should I be worried? (I mean, does Drew even know what a duel is?)

There are probably a thousand other things I should mention, but I can't remember them right now (and I'm sleepy...) Anyway, as I already told you in the previous chapters, this story is such a delight to read and I love all the humour and nonsense in it and the way you write all the characters, it's just brilliant!

Oh, one thing I really should mention... I loved how Leo just decided he had better things to do and abruptly left! Such a great chapter closing! Ahahah! Did I mention I love Leo? :P

Thank you so much for the swap, darling!

I'll try to be back soon!

Snowball hug,

Chiara



Author's Response:

Hi Chiara! :D

 

Right, I'd imagine picking the Queen of Dramatics between Drew and Leo would be very, very difficult! Both are just plain ridiculous, and I'm sure that at some points, the rest of the panel wants nothing more than to just smash their heads together, even if they can't see exactly what Leo's typing. Thank you!! I'm so happy you like the format, it's a lot of fun to write in. <3

 

Drew is so dumb hahaha, she treats everything like she's the starring character in a bestselling novel. (Maybe that's why I find her so much fun to write? It must be nice, having a Drew type of attitude towards life haha.) And Percabeth was one of my very first OTPs! I have such a huge soft spot for them, so I'm showing them as much appreciation as I've got. They were such a huge part of my childhood, I can't not love them.

 

Hahaha omg "does Drew even know what a duel is" might very well be the best response I've gotten to this chapter. Drew is very much incompetent when it comes to a sword at this point in time, and so the fact that the two are going to duel may not be the best idea for her haha.

 

Leo very much does not want to be here lmao, so he just bails at the earliest opportunity.

 

Thank you so much for leaving such an uplifting review even when you were super sleepy!!! <3

 

~Eva



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 30 Jun 2018 05:03 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drum

I'm back!!! :D

Okay, but, can I just appreciate Drew's story telling abilities? I love that she is so detailed and descriptive. And the scene when Reyna surprises her in the forest... wow...

I still love Leo's comments, btw. :P

The whole Assassin game must have been such a mess, btw... also, poor Nico... I do wonder how did Leo win, though? Wouldn't he have to "kill" Reyna before she "killed" him? Okay, don't mind me, I know this is irrelevant. Oh, and one last thing about the game, I loved the different approach of Greeks versus Romans, and how Will tricket poor Jason, and then his pursuer, too. :P

I can't believe that Drew just asked Reyna out like that. :P (is she openly lesbian? Or are the Camp Half-Blood people just very open minded and didn't think it was a big deal? Because it was all taken with no stupor at all... and I'm not saying I dislike it, I'm saying it surprised me a little... but this story is a bit non-sensical anyway, and the narrator is not exactly reliable either, so I'm probably rationalizing way too much... :P)

I'm wondering what Reyna really thought of it. And I'm wondering what happened next between them. And how they ended up in New York... so, basically, I'll need to be back and read more (but it'll probably have to wait some other time, I'm sorry...)

This is such a great, hilarious and original story so far, I'm having such a great time reading it!

A big snowball hug rolling your way, and congrats again on Hufflepuff of the Month!

Love you,

Chiara



Author's Response:

HI :D

 

Yes, Drew has a keen eye for the details hehe. She really knows how to keep her audience captivated, which I suppose makes sense, because the girl's as attention-seeking as it gets. But I love her anyway. Also, she just cares a lot about what things look like, so it makes sense she'd focus on that haha.

 

Every time people say they like Leo's comments I swear a piece of me dies and goes to heaven; those are always the hardest parts to write because he's supposed to be funny, and I'm not funny. ;~; And, oh, about the Assassin game!! I actually thought of your question while I was writing this chapter, but I never found a space to put the answer until the fifth chapter, so I guess you'll have to wait until the fifth chapter gets validated to see how Leo actually won Assassin without figuring out Reyna was his next victim/pursuer haha. (No no,  it's totally relevant! I'm super happy you asked, actually, because it's a good question.) I gotta be honest with you, I'm infinitely fonder of the Greeks than the Romans in Rick Riordan's world, so I had to show them a little bit of love with the trickster vs. the noble type of thing haha.

 

Drew's a bit startled when it comes to pretty girls hehe. Okay so that's also another excellent question! I'd actually never really thought about it too much. I just know that when I'm writing stories like this, stories that I want to be fun and fluffy and just full of good humor, I don't like thinking about homophobia. So I just pretend it doesn't exist, and that queer people are everywhere and accepted without having to make a big fuss over it all. So yes, I'd say that Drew is openly lesbian -- Reyna less so, but Reyna's just not a romantic person in general. Also you're right about the narrator being unreliable haha, Drew is a mess.

 

I'm loving your wondering!! Thank you for taking the time to drop by my story. I always adore your reviews so so much. <3

 

~Eva



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 30 Jun 2018 08:11 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drew

Hey, there, Eva, darling! <3

It was about time that I did something for you for your appreciation month, and it was about time I started reading this, so here I am! :D

First of all, I totally didn't realize that you were doing the mispelling on purpose! I had even forgot that most demigods are dyslexic... you are a genius!

Second of all, I adore Leo!!! His notes... ahahah! Too funny!

Third of all, I think you did such a wonderful job with this! I loved the format, it's really so smart, and I loved your storytelling, which is always excellent! Drew's characterization was spot on, and I love how I could get a grasp of all other characters as well, even if only through their small interruptions. I should have read this before the Chalices' noms, I would have definitely nominated it for best dialogue. (Well, next year, I suppose)

But really, I loved how you showed Drew's selfishness and haughtyness, and I loved her story so far. I wonder where this is heading (actually, I know where this is heading, at least partially, and I can't wait to get there because Drew and Reyna are so deeply different and one would wonder how a romantic relationship between them would work)

I'm not really sure what else to say in this review, except that I loved it and that I think you did a great job with it so far, such a funny, delightful read! (And I agree with Leo, I want an icecream... :P)

I will be back soon!

Lots of love and hugs, my dear!

Chiara



Author's Response:

CHIARA <3

 

*flails* You are too kind and good to me, and thank you so so much for your wonderful reviews! These put a great big smile on my face and gave me so much happiness hehe.

 

Oooh yes!! I'd originally thought of doing the mispellings but then sort of wavered towards not doing that in case people with dyslexia didn't like it, but then Maggie convinced me to do it, so here we are! And of course since Leo's doing the writing, he'd be mispelling a lot of words haha. I decided to tone it down a little bit for readability's sake (so in my documents, there's like one spelling mistake per page haha). And I'm so happy you like Leo! :D

 

Stoppp, all your compliments are making me blush. I'm so happy you liked the format and the characterizations! Even if you didn't get to see too much of the other characters, I'm also glad that their personalities could come through a bit. (And omg!! That's really really kind of you haha. Chalices nominations are a super huge honor, so that means a lot to me. <3)

 

I don't know what it says about me that I love writing a character as self-absorbed and haughty as Drew, but I do haha. But I'm so excited that you're curious about what's happening! I have so many exciting things planned and I can't wait for them all to happen.

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH. (And saaame, I'm always in want of ice cream lmfao.)

 

~Eva



Name: MadiMalfoy (Signed) · Date: 18 Jun 2018 04:22 AM · [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: draft

Hi again Eva! Here for review #3 for your prize reviews. :)

 

So I am actually a bit familiar with the Percy Jackson fandom (read the first book ages ago and saw the not-so-great movie) so I was just somewhat unfamiliar with some of the characters but the setting was just fine. I really enjoyed the way you set this story up narration-wise, as being told by Leo through typewritten notes of the conversation/story being told by the other characters. Drew's dramatics fit perfectly with what I assume her personality to be in the books as well, and when all of them interact, it feels natural and not clunky at all. I also haven't read something so lighthearted and playful in a while (which means I probably read way too much angst) so this was super refreshing to read. 

 

While Percy and Annabeth play more background roles here, it's nice to showcase Drew and Leo in this manner because it allows them to have more character development and for their relationship to develop. Leo is a great narrator because he's also dramatic and his penchant for "under-the-breath" type comments are great because we actually get to see them written and then also verbally acknowledged by Drew because she's reading everything he types out. The ridiculous way that Drew is telling her story along with all of the interruptions is just great and kept me engaged throughout for sure! I'm loving the super slow potential burn between Drew and Reyna, and the convoluted way she was trying to get closer to Reyna by throwing a camp-wide game of Assassins. Great job with this, I look forward to seeing how this continues! :)

~MadiMalfoy x



Author's Response:

Hi Madi!! <3

 

Oh I'm so glad! (Though I'm sorry you suffered through that not-so-great movie.) That probably helped you a little bit; I know a few people who've gone into reading this fic completely unfamiliar with the Percy Jackson fandom so I'm glad that you at least knew a small amount! A lot of these characters aren't introduced until way into the second series, Heroes of Olympus, so it makes sense that you don't know them haha. Since you don't know the books super well, I'm just going to let you know that Drew is actually a super minor character. Like she appears in the first book for five minutes just to antagonize Piper, and then she disappears for like the rest of the series. Even so, I tried to stay as true to her character as I could while giving her a little bit more dimension than "evil girl who wears makeup" lol.

 

You should read more fluff and humor! I have many recs if you're ever willing to read some more. It's really good for the soul haha. <3

 

I'm so glad that you like Drew and Leo's dynamic though! They're becoming unlikely friends haha. Someone pointed out (I believe it was Rumpels) that they had a sibling dynamic, and I almost snorted tea up my nose because that just about sums it up perfectly. I'm really really happy that you like the format of the story; it was one of my biggest worries going into this! Hehe Drew's really a major, major pain in the butt, always being so dramatic and needing to get her way. So she goes off and tells them about her role in creating the Assassins game lmfao.

 

Thank you so so much for the lovely review! <3

 

~Eva



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 10 Jun 2018 02:33 AM · [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drew

Hey Eva! I'm sorry I'm so dang late with this review.

 

This is so exciting already. The fact that it's in a different format, and a transcript at that, has made me sit up a little bit straighter and I can't wait to read it because it means you've had to work harder at nailing each character's voice to tell the story, but I know you're 100% capable.

 

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Leo is my favourite Heroes of Olympus character. And I decided this BEFORE he acquired a big metal dragon :P I've only read The Lost Hero, though, so I'm a little biased. But his opening paragraph of describing the scene made me laugh so much. I think it's so like him to get carried away in the middle of his one job :P His narration is so funny and I absolutely love how it breaks up the other dialogue. The humour is very Riordan worthy so you should be very proud of yourself!

 

Drew is so snarky to the gang and I can just picture it so clearly, how unimpressed she must be with the demigods she's surrounded with right now :P And Leo's little peep had me in stitches! The swearing is new, but I bet if Riordan wasn't writing your young adults his characters would swear - they totally deserve to :P

 

Omg does Leo really end up dating Calypso??? XD I hope at any rate he gets his ice cream by the end of this story :P

 

I'm loving Drew's descriptions of people and so on, they're so dainty and lovely and perfectly how Aphrodite would explain things. And I'm also loving the pop culture references like Game of Thrones :P As if their lives weren't exciting enough!

 

Have you had practice writing in this format? Because it's just so amazing and clever and well done - I'm super impressed! Even though I really shouldn't be. This is Eva I'm talking about here <3 Brilliant job, my dear!



Author's Response:

Hey, B! That's totally okay, I was abysmally late with this response haha.

 

I really hope the transcript format worked! Getting each character to actually sound like they should was such a stressful and painful business omg. But your endless encouragement is always so amazing, and I really appreciate it. <3

 

It's like fate drew you to loving Leo because they knew you loved dragons hahaha. (I totally agree with you, though, Leo is by far one of the best Heroes of Olympus characters. I love him so much, he's just such a clueless, hilarious guy.) It makes me so happy though that he's your favorite character and that you still liked how I wrote him! (Also the humor was the hardest part about all of this, especially because I have zero experience in being, you know, Leo, haha. But Riordan worthy??? Ahhhh I want to hug you.)

 

Hahaha Drew is a bit of an outlier in the company she keeps (or doesn't keep). Girl needs to learn how to get along better with other people. I'd say, based on experience, Leo's swearing is approximately average for a teenager, Drew's swearing is excessive, and everyone else is fairly mild, as far as things go haha. I'm sure that teenage demigods placed under constant physical duress would swear a lot more than Riordan depicted it lmao, but then again he did want children to be able to read his books.

 

I FORGOT YOU HAVEN'T READ THE ENTIRE SERIES. Yes, it's a pairing that happens at like the veerryyy end of the series. I'm not 100% convinced by it, but it's canon, so I couldn't ignore it haha.

 

Yayyy I'm glad you like the way Drew's describing people! Writing her is hard, man. ;~;

 

I haven't but I've definitely read a lot of these types of formats! THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU, B. <3

 

~Eva



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 08 Jun 2018 10:39 AM · starstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: draft

This is for the Review Tag.

 

First I enjoyed the format which very much surprised me because I don't typically like screenplays, but it really fit for this story. (This is probably sacrilegious to admit but I've only read Cursed child once--the style drove me crazy.)


The character of Leo is awesome and you've nailed him. His snarky, underhanded comments create the lovable class clown which some characters hate and others roll the eyes, but amuses the readers. Rick Riordan would be proud.


I'm not as crazy about Drew. Although I agree with the personality you've written for her, I feel that you missed an important character mantra of, of at least most of Aphrodite's offspring--appearances are everything. Questionable actions and lack of empathy are acceptable as long as "you make it look good." (Of course there are notable exceptions i.e. Piper, automatically giving her the badge of easier to sympathize with) This particular cabin should embody the essence of lady-like demeanor even If they hold a knife behind their backs to slice your neck with. Drew's language models more hillbilly than Beverly Hills. Her word choice makes her seem like the next crass Pansy Parkinson whereas I picture her more of Narcissa Malfoy's inner circle--the subtle Slytherin. Then again, maybe all the cursing really is ingrained in Drew's personality. If this is true, we'll blame Riordan's editors for the squashing of this important character trait and thank you for allowing us, with clarity, to see the real Drew.


The dialogue, particularly between Leo and Drew is hilarious. They have to be two of the most diametrically opposed campers at Camp Half-Blood. Both are quick on the zingy insults that show great writing.


 

Will there be a new character? Will Reyna or Mitchell be a witness? If Reyna appears, I wonder if she'll support Piper and Leo or Drew? I don't imagine her to be as gregarious as these two, but rather annoyed. If they aren't careful, she might retort with Imperial gold--Such a Roman thing to do.



Author's Response:

Hi!! Thank you so much for your honest review. <3

 

I'm so thankful you enjoyed the format! I was a little concerned about it because generally I don't like screenplays either. (This is definitely even more sacrilegious than what you admitted, but I haven't even read through Cursed Child once. The plot was so unappealing to me that I just couldn't pick it up eep. But honestly I think that's fair, that you didn't read it multiple times, because Cursed Child is actually a play, instead of this...semi-transcript-ish format I've got going on haha.)

 

Ahh thank you! I'm so happy you liked Leo. (Also omg your statement about class clowns is literally the most accurate thing ever, I attend a school where class clowns run rampant haha.) Awww omg that's literally the best compliment ever! So many hugs to you for saying that Riordan would be proud. <3

 

I definitely understand where you're coming from about Drew! That's how Riordan painted Silena Beauregard in the first series, after all. But I do think that there's a larger variety within the Aphrodite cabin; some are elegant, some are crude, some are a mix of both. Some are athletic, some are not. Some are cunning and crafty, some are docile and sweet. I think the overall connection between the children of Aphrodite is that they're all drop-dead gorgeous, and that there is a certain standard of self-care to be held amongst them. Drew definitely cares a lot about herself, but based on the personality given to her by Riordan (which I don't 100% agree with, but I did take huge inspirations from that), Drew really doesn't care about her image of doing things that make her look good. She's terrible and entirely unsympathetic and clearly doesn't care too much about others. From experience, people who swear a lot around people they're not friends with don't have a whole lot of respect for them (though I'm not sure it necessarily makes them hillbilly, you know?), and that's why I made Drew swear.

 

In general, though, I think demigods curse a lot. Obviously Rick Riordan couldn't put it in his middle grade books, but, I mean, they're people who monsters continually try to attack, who constantly fight (minus Drew lol), and who get injured a lot. Scientific studies have proven that swearing helps alleviate pain a little so it'd make sense.

 

Thank you!! I'm really happy you like the dialogue, it was a lot of fun to write these two insulting each other.

 

There won't be another witness in the court case section of this story, but as soon as this first half is over, more characters will be given proper voices, outside of Drew's story. As of right now, they're only documenting Drew's side of the tale! Hahaha your analysis of Reyna is so spot-on, she'd probably just swing her sword around in complete annoyance if they made her sit through something like this.

 

Thank you so much for your review! <3

 

~Eva



Name: facingthenorthwind (Signed) · Date: 07 Jun 2018 01:38 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: draft

 

Okay this is the first chapter I've read without livetweeting it to you first!!! So I get to livetweet it in the review box instead! How exciting.

 

FIRST OF ALL, I definitely misread it as "Drewmatics" instead of "dramatics" and I propose that it be renamed that. Drew obviously wouldn't make the pun, but I believe in Leo's groan-worthy wit to do so.

 

#LetLeoValdezSay[redacted]2k18

 

Be her FRIEND. YEAH. SURE. JUST GALS BEING PALS, DREW.

 

Drew that is sTILL NOT HOW GRIEF WORKS

 

I cannot believe she made him cry. Like, on one hand, masterfully done, on the other, get away from my son! Don't you dare speak to me or my son ever again!

 

Rachel is chaotic good and I am LIVING.

 

Kaaatie, what is it that Drew doesn't understand? The people want to know!!

 

LACY JUST DID A MURDER, CALL TRIPLE ZERO! What a sick one, Lacy, onya. Top work.

 

PERCYYYYYYYY.

 

"so much skin you suddenly need a drink" D R E WWWWWWW

 

Oh my god REYNA why didn't you have a BETTER EXCUSE to come over???? My girl, I expected better from you!!

 

I can't believe Drew is angry at this turn of events, because CLEARLY this means Reyna was COMING TO SEE HER FOR NO REASON!!! That's a good sign, bud!!!!!!

 

[YELLING] PLEASE PASH, THIS IS INFURIATING

 

SICK BURN, VALDEZ!!!!!!!!! Look at my boy go, I'm so proud.

 

LEO RANDOMLY ENDING CHAPTERS CONTINUES TO BE SO TICKLING, I DON'T KNOW WHY. I just.............love it. And also this fic. And also you. As always.

 



Author's Response:

Yay this is so exciting! And I love how the format of your story automatically changed since you hadn't already live-tweeted it to me hahaha. I literally love all of your reviews, from the slightly more thought-out ones (I guess live-tweeting helps you formulate your thoughts hehe) to these, that are just a compilation of all your reactions. I LOVE THEM ALL.

 

Ahaha Leo would totally make that pun. Unfortunately Drew was the one who actually said it (if I'm looking at the right one) so he has to write down what she's technically saying. Which he is not happy about. LMFAO #LetLeoValdezSay[redacted]2k18 should be trending on twitter, the poor boy is Suffering.

 

DREW IS LITERALLY THE LEAST SUBTLE PERSON EVER. The girl clearly wants to be more than just pals with Reyna; she wants to be gal pals, if you know what I mean. Also she's still terrible lmao, her nonchalance about other people's grief is truly a ridiculous sight to behold. Oof poor Leo, being on the receiving end of Drew's wrath is probably not fun haha. (Also can I just say, your divided loyalties between the two characters is the funniest thing I've ever read, I love your reactions to this story so much omg.)

 

Oh, Katie wasn't saying anything too important! I'll just tell you that Katie was responding to the fact that Drew called her mild-mannered. Katie was also responding to the implication that all Demeter children were laid-back and calm and good children haha.

 

(Is triple zero the police number in Australia?? Oh, just googled it, and it is. Sorry, this is so unrelated, but I just thought it was super cool, like. Why doesn't America make their number as easy to remember as that?) Also I'm loving your all-caps screeching at the characters, it's totally making my life right now hahaha. Lmao Lacy totally doesn't care for Drew at this moment, nope, and why should she when Drew was literally being terrible?

 

Hahaha Reyna wasn't subtle at all, was she? Honestly I'm pretty sure that being around hot Aphrodite girls just clouds your senses sometimes lmfao, like when a really, really gorgeous person just starts talking to you and your brain stops working? I feel like that's happening to Reyna, except on a smaller scale. DREW NEEDS TO GET HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT THOUGH, SHE WANTS HER BEAUTY SLEEP.

 

I'm so glad you're continuing to enjoy these abrupt chapter endings!! <3

 

(Can I just say, this review was perhaps the most Australian-sounding review I've ever received, and it was just a complete and utter delight.)

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEW <3

 

~Eva



Name: facingthenorthwind (Signed) · Date: 07 Jun 2018 11:18 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drum

 

I'm so sorry for leaving you in the lurch for so long!!! I must admit, I forgot. And then I got sick. And I still forgot. But I remembered now! So.

 

As you know, I love Leo Valdez, my son. He loves Annabeth so much, as is right and proper, and I would also 100% scream dramatically in his shoes. I mean, I scream dramatically when someone says hello in broad daylight and I wasn't paying attention, so poor example. The point is, I love him. His outrage that he only won because she didn't bother!!! Oh man, how many people did he take out? Do we find out? Though I guess technically the best strategy is to hide and not kill anyone and not give anyone the opportunity to kill you. Hmm.

 

I EXTREMELY LOVE the way Jason gets did by Will immediately. He's so stupid and so beautiful. Also Will of course deserves the world.

 

I was surprised to hear Drew wasn't perceived as a threat! I guess I'd been imagining her as beautiful AND competent but apparently not. That's excellent because she gets so stroppy about it.

 

Will Solace is a gift and a pearl and I love his terrible cheating ways.

 

This is probably my favourite line of the whole chapter: "If the forest atmosphere had been a contender in some Miss Universe pageant, I would have rated it an eight. Quality work." It's just so perfect?? The best bit is that she doesn't even rate it a ten, it's only an eight!!!!! I LOVE DREW AND ALSO YOU AND ALSO THIS FIC. SO MUCH.

 

Reyna: smiling. Me: [chanting] KISS KISS KISS KISS

 

Leooooooooooo being the biggest Annabeth/Percy shipper!! Be still my heart. I just love how pure and good my son is.

 

Obviously hands down my second favourite line:

"Reyna," I said, and I fucking swear, all I meant to say was to ask her about herself, or inquire after her experiences with the game, or make some sort of good-natured small talk, but somehow what I said was, "Let's go on a date."

 

Hard same with Reyna not trusting her because she can charmspeak though. Like, how do you REALLY know what your feelings are? How could you be sure they're not manipulating you all the time?

 

Jokes this is my second favourite line of this chapter: "Her voice was cold and hard again, and the distance that she managed to keep while literally pressing me against her body was honestly quite admirable."

 

Also, "Yeah but I hate Piper." My favourite part is that Drew doesn't like, give all the pertinent details and THEN give us the story to back it up, she is COMMITTED TO THE BIT and refuses to spoil the twists in the narrative she's constructing and that's beautiful.

 

And of course, Leo being the perfect and wonderful benevolent dictator of the transcript by arbitrarily deciding it's done at 7pm. Love him. Love his work. 

 



Author's Response:

Hahaha that's okay! Thank you for coming and reviewing this in the end. <3

 

We shall bond over our love for Leo Valdez, because honestly, Rick Riordan hit a gold mine when writing this character. I think he peaked with Percy and Annabeth in the first series (though of course I loved all the more minor characters as well), but then I think he struggled to regain his footing with the new series (especially since it was told in a different POV with an entirely new main cast). BUT LEO. I LOVE LEO. Hahaha Leo is just so righteous and upset about this. We'll never find out how many people he did take out, but I will tell you this: he never actually knew it was Reyna who was after him, even though, technically, when it comes down to the last two people of the game, they should know who the other is. Because Leo decided that, nah, he didn't need to know his target/pursuer (both were Reyna), he'd just wait for them to come to him. So he set like these traps in the forest and then sat down and had a picnic, and Reyna just ran right into them hahaha. Combat skills mean nothing when you have Leo Valdez in the game lmao.

 

I love Will! He's such a minor character but from the few seconds that we get to see him, he seems so awesome. Also hahaha these noble, rule-abiding Romans. I actually can't remember anything about Jason's characterization (I think it was fairly average, as far as characterizations go) so I decided to make him dumb but lovable.

 

Nope! Drew has a strong aversion to anything sweat-related, and everyone knows this, so they're all like "Drew why are you even participating" lmao. She is the exception amongst the Aphrodite children though. Most of them are fairly good at combat, while also high-key stressing about their appearance half the time haha.

 

AHH THANK YOU, I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THAT LINE. Every time you point out a specific thing you like, I just get so so so happy, thank you. YES LMAO our dear Drew is so particular about appearance haha, it would take a lot for her to give something a ten.

 

[THESE TWO WILL HOPEFULLY KISS VERY SOON.]

 

Hehehe, Drew forgetting herself and suddenly asking Reyna on a date was honestly because I wanted to use that trope so badly. Though, yeah, I totally agree, it would be slightly difficult for me to trust someone who could charmspeak. To be clear, Drew is usually fairly obvious with her charmspeak commands, and though people will feel the effects of it, they'll realize that they're being told to do this, this, and this. It works slightly differently with another type of charmspeak, but I'll explain more on that later in the story.

 

DREW IS SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. And Leo is such a dumb child lmao but I love him.

 

Thank you so so much for leaving such a hilarious review!! <3

 

~Eva



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 05 Jun 2018 12:26 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: draft

OKAY I'M BACK! :D 

 

Oh my gosh, the sheer amount of dramatics Leo uses while writing about Annabeth's request for he and Drew to stop swearing has me rolling around. What's better is that Drew immediately drops and F-bomb right after. At least Leo's trying to not swear (even if he is complaining about it in his beautiful Leo way). In fact the entire conversation about Leo going out of his way to swear (because NOBODY'S asked him to make his little side notes, but I'm so glad he does) while swearing is a part of Drew's personality made me laugh. (I feel like half of my reviews on this are just me saying, THIS WAS SO FUNNY but I can't help it. The dramatics, the banter, the PEOPLE  -- they're just so good.)

 

So Drew's not so great with rejection, is she? Ahahaha, I continuously love how obsessed she is with Reyna and how little Reyna could care (at this point, I mean... I would LOVE to hoist some Drew x Reyna sails eventually because I really dig this ship). And plus, her self-importance is so, so much fun to read -- I can't get over the fact that she believes and says that she single-handedly brought the Greeks and Romans together. Drew absolutely kills me. And I'm also SUPER happy that you weaved in a little about Leo's powers, too! [BUT OMG NO DON'T MAKE LEO CRY! IF LEO CRIES I WILL CRY! :( ]

 

OH MY GOSH! I'd forgotten that they can't actually see what Leo's typing for a minute there until Percy said something about it. OH. MY. GOSH. I can just imagine from their perspective with Drew arguing with herself and Leo just typing away like a lunatic -- I CAN'T BREATHE! And also, Percy's reaction to Drew's whole 'when the queen walks' bit is so good. Imagine having to deal with someone like Drew in real life -- it would be SO difficult to see her side of things (but it makes for some incredible storytelling).

 

Mitchel and Lacy as lackeys and/or fanning her and Drew cutting Katie off -- I CAN'T. DREW! Drew! Plus the whole bit about Leo having fun with the typewriter and everyone finding it hilarious that Drew gets SUPER annoyed at Leo's written comments that they can't see -- I would LOVE to see this, just Drew, yelling at poor Leo for no perceivable reason. Also, the way you subtly worked Percy's reaction about Piper through Drew's speech was really cleverly done (and it was funny).

 

Let it be known that Aphrodite boys do not have fragile masculinities. I love this. I love that Lacy paints Mitchel's toes pink. I love everything!

 

DREW! God. I know -- I know with full certainty that Drew said that with intention of it being nice and friendly BUT OMG DREW. THAT IS NOT A VERY NICE THING TO SAY! Poor Lacy! I can't see Drew's perfectly ridiculous plan of recruiting lackeys working when she GOES AROUND INSULTiNG PEOPLE TO THEIR FACES! Bahahaha! It's so amazingly Drew...I can't help myself. PLEBIAN! PLEBIAN! I'm crying! Though I am impressed that she decided to not use her charmspeaking to embarrass Lacy -- that's huge strides towards kindly attitude (though I suspect Reyna's disdain for it might play a little part in it ;) ). 

 

And then with Leo's persistence about Drew swearing...but then Drew swearing like a damn sailor and calling Leo out when HE swore...I love it. The sheer nonsense of this review is probably a bit overwhelming and I'm sorry for it. BUT WHAT AN INCREDIBLE TITLE FOR PERCY, bahaha!

 

/Bahahahaha/

You're reading like a sheep...

 

This. OMG. I almost didn't catch it at first but THIS. I laughed way to much at this. 

 

Percy with the Mean Girls thing -- that's everything. I love every second of that. Also, I'm totally on board with you with Leo being the President of the Percabeth Fanclub because the way you have him describe the two is SO AMAZINGLY ADORABLY SWEEEET! 

 

And Drew feeling 'jealousy' to the loose strands of hair by Reyna's lips OMG HOW FREAKING ROMANTIC. I NEED THIS SHIP. Also, I can see Drew's threats being pretty gosh-darn intimidating, even if they were slightly slurred and sleepily said. But back to Reyna! Oh and the voice-cracking and Drew's overdramatic explaination behind it, hahaha! [And OMG I WOULD MISS LEO tOO MUCH D:] I love that she cuts her off -- like she REALLY can't help herself, can she?? 

 

REYNA REALLY CAME ALL THE WAY OUT TO TELL HER THAT SHE DROPPED HER COFFEE CUP. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Reyna might be starting to have something resembling a hint of interest in Drew *big grins...just big grins*. Also, Drew (sort of) challenging her to a duel and Reyna agreeing to duel her another time was amazing (I can imagine the two duelling would be SUPER intense). And Drew being just SO dramatic and self-important about the whole thing is glorious! (Because she's that good, ahahaha!)

 

And somebody get Leo his basket of cupcakes!

 

Another really fun chapter! Let me know when you update again because I'm positively LOVING this story!

 

-Rumpels

 



Author's Response:

HI RUMPELS :D

 

Yes, Leo was deeply upset and offended by the challenge issued to him by Annabeth hahaha. And Drew just doesn't care lmfao. But I love my dear, whiny, overdramatic boy Leo anyway! Also omg please don't ever stop pointing out the things you found funny, I love hearing specifics about my humor because half the time I'm like "???? you are the only person in the world who will find this funny, Eva" so it's always very reassuring! THANK YOU <3

 

Drew x Reyna sails shall be hoisted! Within the next two chapters, in fact! I've already written out the entirety of chapter four, but I also want to get chapter five written before I post it because I'm honestly still not 100% sure about how I want things to go haha. Drew needs to get over herself, though writing her is weirdly fun. Like I get to write someone who is, by all definitions of the word, terrible, and I get to have fun about it. Also Drew exaggerates everything sooo much lmao, you won't even believe it. Single-handedly bringing the Romans and Greeks together? Yeah, right, Drew. I also wanted to talk a little more about Leo's capabilities, especially since I know a lot of people either haven't read the book or don't remember much from the book, so I'm glad you enjoyed that bit! [AHAHA Drew totally made Leo cry, everyone's very upset with her about it behind-the-scenes.]

 

Yeah! From the other panelists' perspective, Drew is literally just glaring at Leo's paper and telling him to shut up and insulting him for no apparent reason. Honestly I think if I met Drew in real life I wouldn't be able to handle her, but she's literally the most fun I've had writing haha. What does that say about me lmao. Though I think you're totally right that someone like Drew makes for great storytelling, because I would literally listen to someone like Drew talk for hours, even if it was purely out of scientific curiosity as to how someone could be that self-centered haha.

 

Yay I'm glad you liked the bits about Mitchell and Lacy! I was super nervous introducing them because they're not a major part of the series, like, at all. Also I didn't want to continuously have each character butt in whenever they had a disbelieving reaction to something Drew said [which, let's be honest, is like 99% of the time that she's speaking], so I just had Percy's reaction told by Drew that way ahaha. I'm glad it worked out!

 

Mitchell is so confident in his masculinity that he's willing to do anything without feeling embarrassed, and if I'm being honest I'm totally projecting my opinions of how all boys should be haha.

 

DREW IS TERRIBLE. AND HER SHALLOW PRIORITIES KEEP HER FROM MAKING FRIENDS. Silly, dumb girl. Hahaha, not using charmspeak to embarrass someone else is literally the lowest bar ever, but I love that we're all surprised that Drew didn't. The girl has not made a very good reputation for herself amongst the people. (And I daresay that Reyna's disdain for it has indeed played a part. ;D)

 

Nonsensical reviews are the best!! I'm just grinning so madly in my AP Gov class right now, rereading your review as I'm responding to it! (Glad you liked that little tidbit hehe, my little sister said that it was the only part where she actually laughed and I was like "oh wow thanks.")

 

YAY I'm happy you liked that silly sheep joke lmfao.

 

Leo is the #1 Percabeth shipper in the world and no one will ever stop him from constantly promoting his OTP. The fact that his second OTP is himself and Calypso probably says a lot about how much he ships Percabeth (who may actually have been my very first OTP in fiction?? so I might be channeling a bit of my inner Percabeth freak through Leo haha). THE TWO ARE ADORABLE AND I LOVE THEM, THEY DESERVE TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

 

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO THE PROPER DREW/REYNA PARTS. Drew's so into Reyna, anddddd we'll see how Reyna feels about Drew in the upcoming chapters. I already warned you about this but don't get too excited about the duel, Drew is totally a fail when it comes to athletics and sweat.

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE AMAZING REVIEW <3

 

~Eva



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 01 Jun 2018 02:36 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drum

I fell asleep, so now it's an after-breakfast and coffee story! 

 

I've been extremely excited for more of Leo and you did not disappoint me! I get the feeling that it was quite foolish of Annabeth to have ANY of those expectations with any of these magnificent characters. Everyone has dyslexia! Must make the transcript a doozy when it comes to reviewing them O.o. 

 

Oh my gosh! So Assassin requires the players to actually draw blood from each other?! I mean, I guess for a camp full of demigods it's probably not all that bad but it's still sound like an awfully violent game (but who am I kidding -- of course demigods would love violent games, they're demigods). I love how Chiron had to add in a penalty of actually trying to kill each other, hahaha! And, yeah, I would be SO afraid of sleeping under those conditions -- like, I'm paranoid that people are going to try to kill me in my normal, mundane life, so I don't want to even THINK about the amount of stress that would cause me if I was playing a game like this. Like, maybe just hiding somewhere far away from the camp until the game is over would be something I'd much rather be doing [I'm a far cry from a Gryffindor, don't judge me :P].

 

I'm beginning to love Leo's storytimes, though! Drew is SUCH a meanie. And I love Leo's realization that he won Assassin (good job, Leo!!) because Drew just didn't bother putting any effort into the game (because it was totally a cover for her getting closer to Reyna). It's so good. 

 

Bahahahahahahaha! The whole son's of Apollo think they're so hot pun thing is absolutely EVERYTHING. And also, once again, I absolutely LOVE the way that Drew is telling the story -- I know I mentioned it in the last review, but honestly, the sheer level of attitude and personality brought into the story JUST by having her tell it is so much fun. The manner in which she describes the different characters has me laughing out loud practically every other sentence. 

 

All the Greeks are cheaters -- that's the best... oh my gosh, hiding submerged in a lake for FIVE HOURS to avoid elimination from the game. This is definitely a game I'd like to spectate (spectate, from far, far away -- but not participate). Wait, wait, wait, and I need to know how Leo basically qualifies as a makeup guru at this point in his life! I lied before because THAT IS EVERYTHING! Also, BB cream is a godsend. (I'm so sorry about the quality of the review -- apparently, humor turns my brain to mush and you're left with some rambling, nonsense reviews but I still wanted to leave a review because I just love this story.)

 

And I'm also 100% with Drew on the coffee ordeal. It makes my world happen. I absolutely love Drew's [even if it is momentary] reaction to Reyna, where she suddenly feels INSECURE in front of her. It's actually a HUGE moment [from what I've gathered about Drew so far], isn't it? Because Drew is so full of spunk and self-confidence that having someone make herself feel small is absolutely tremendously important. And it's adorable. 

 

OH MY GOSH -- LEO WRITING DOWN HOW CUTE PERCY AND ANNABETH ARE IS EVERYTHING. I CANNOT. AND DREW OUTED HIM! 

 

Yeah, I didn't see Reyna just agreeing to go out with Drew -- that's about as much as I expected and I LOVE that she's disappointed that Drew didn't put up a fight with Reyna trying to 'kill' her.  I can't really blame Reyna either; I don't think I'd be able to ever trust someone who could charmspeak either. But I do love how freaking obsessed Drew is with Reyna. Like. I ship it. I so ship it...I'll ship it all day long. 

 

WHAT WAS SHE DOING IN NEW YORK CITY?! Ahhhh! I'm so excited to find out WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

 

The characters, the humor, the structure -- it's all so glorious. I'm having SUCH a great time reading this story and it's a much different genre than what I usually prefer to read so it makes it SO MUCH MORE. I can't wait to read the next chapter! Once again, sorry about all the rambling and asides :P. 

 

-Rumpels



Author's Response:

RUMPELS <3

 

You're totally spoiling me with your reviews on "spartan"; they're so unexpected and so lovely and I love them so so much. Hahaha Leo, I feel, is the driving factor of Stupid in this fic. Annabeth's expectations are far too high, let's be real; even she has dyslexia so things are difficult for her too. And yeah, I can't even imagine what trying to read this must be like, from Leo's mispellings to their dyslexia in general (though I can certainly see them employing Rachel to read it through for them instead haha).

 

Yes it does! I don't know if you're familiar with the real-life version of Assassin, but my senior class played it this year. There are a bunch of variations, but we played it where if you sprayed your target with a water gun, then they were "killed." I figured that demigods would want to play a much more violent version, though, considering they have all these weapons at hand and are probably itching to use it. (Chiron has, unfortunately, witnessed far too many near-death experiences to let these dumb demigods do whatever they want haha.) I'd be so stressed too omg. Let's be non-Gryffindors together!

 

Drew is rather unforgiving of Leo's interruptions hehe. Personally I love writing Leo's storytimes but they take me SO OFF TRACK that I can't help but agree with Drew half the time. You know, I totally headcanon that Leo would be a total try-hard for these types of games. Hearing Drew's admission must've really upset him haha.

 

I'M GLAD YOU LIKED THE PUN. It made me giggle to myself at like 1 a.m., which really is not a good signifier for quality humor, so I'm really happy you enjoyed it! And aahhh I'm so glad you love Drew's attitude and just general laidbackness when it comes to...other people's...feelings. I'm so so genuinely happy that it's making you laugh; I never thought I'd be able to do that. <3

 

Honestly I'm so disconnected from canon at this point that I can't remember if it's actually canon that Greeks are more cunning than the Romans, but in my head they are. Like, you have these noble, rule-abiding Romans who just want to test their skills and play a fair game, but then they're like WHERE DID ALL THE GREEKS GO. (Also, Percy can totally do that -- he and Annabeth shared their first, super iconic kiss underwater, where he formed a bubble to keep the two of them from swallowing water haha.) I'd imagine that Leo's makeup skills come from being friends with Mitchell (who will be introduced in the next chapter!) and I'll definitely try to touch on that more if I can hahaha. (I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS, DON'T STOP WRITING THEM LIKE THIS. <3)

 

Drew needs the coffee because it acts as a mild form of ADHD medication for her haha. Maggie told me about it! (I'm super thankful to have her tbh.) She's really the only demigod who's not embracing her ADHD at the camp, which is why other people find it somewhat strange. And YES. I have many things planned for Drew's insecurities in front of Reyna (and slowly, other people), and I hope you'll continue to find her adorable haha.

 

LEO IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE PERCABETH FANCLUB AND I'LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME.

 

Yeah, Reyna's definitely not familiar enough with Drew to just go on a date with her. She was probably thinking something along the lines of, "This crazy girl did what now??" Except, you know, calmer. In good Reyna-style. I'M SO HAPPY YOU SHIP IT. So do I! (...In case you couldn't tell ahaha.)

 

YOU WILL FIND OUT SOON. I'M WRITING THE FIFTH CHAPTER AS WE SPEAK, AND I'M VERY EXCITED.

 

Thank you so so much!! It's also so great hearing that you don't usually read these types of stories, it means so much to me. Thank you for leaving such a wonderful review, including all your hilarious ramblings and asides!! <3

 

~Eva



Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 31 May 2018 01:20 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drew

 

Hey there! :D

 

Oh my goodness -- I absolutely am in LOVE with the formatting (how the transcript intertwines the narrative). It made the bickering back and forth so much MORE than what it could have been. I'm absolutely in love with your sense of humor and the way it's shining through in this is positively brilliant. And, can I ask you, HOW did you POSSIBLY manage to purposely misspell words when whichever word processor you were using must've been dragging those darn red lines all over the place (not to mention the darn thing trying to auto-fix your words). That must've been a nightmare for you! A big round of applause for pulling it off though as it definitely adds to the entire inclusion of ADHD and dyslexia.

 

I don't even really know where to start -- I read the whole thing through without stopping because I couldn't stop laughing despite what is meant to be the more serious undertones of what was happening (Piper's photo's being burnt). This was pure comedic gold. I love how Leo introduces the transcript as some type of drama-courtroom-mystery case file...like the introduction to one of those courtroom television shows.

 

I mean, honestly, Leo literally writing down his stream-of-conscious in the transcript (including his replies to others) and especially when he interrupts himself because someone is speaking...it's just too good (I realize the quality of this review is complete trash, but this is absolutely hysterical)! Drew trying to get a handle on Leo's out-of-control transcribing is absolutely brilliant, especially when she tries to defend herself in the transcript that it is not a confession.

 

[Peep.] Oh. My. God. I can't handle Leo. Even a little. It's amazing.

 

I love how blunt and uncaring Drew is when she mentions the war and how it wasn't a big deal or anything, but Percy pipes in about how people died and she's STILL insistant that it was nothing. And she's SO sarcastic as she's relaying her side of the story. The level of 'tedious explaining' she's doing is hilarious given the way she's explaining the details. I don't know if I've missed out on something by not reading the Percy Jackson series or if it's just your writing, but this is amazing.

 

And who could blame Leo for wanting an ice cream. "Court cases" are boring (well, usually, this one is particularly hysterical).

 

Actually, hearing the story through Drew's perspective is really interesting. I love how brazen and brusque she is with her opinions and how her thoughts are interwoven into what happened -- especially the manner in which she describes different people (particularly with Reyna). As far as not understanding the fandom, I'm following what you've been telling me in the story just fine and context clues for things like charmspeaking are clear, so you're doing a wonderful job on that account.

 

BUT OUCH! From what I can asses of Drew, she is NOT going to appreciate having Reyna insult her like that. And, to be honest, Drew is a little more than a mildly terrifying (which makes her amazing but still O.o). Oh yes, someone get on the task of making the camp more acessable for data collection :P. Also, Clarisse sounds terrifying, too. I mean, if I were a god or demigod, I might be a little more apt to be a little more terrifying, myself, but, you know...


"I, uh. I'm pretty sure that this isn't how grief works, Drew." Wow, I love these characters. A lot.

 

So I'm super excited to see what happened next (especially what transpired during the Assassin game and who actually burnt Piper's photographs)! Like I said, I think you've been doing a great job so far on keeping those of us who aren't familiar with the fandom on track with what's happening and, once again, THIS IS SO FUNNY! You've done such a great job!

 

-Rumpels

 

 

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi! :D

 

Okay can I first just thank you for messaging me and asking about this? YOU'RE AMAZING. Especially since you've never read Percy Jackson, so I was so surprised but so thankful that you asked me. I really, really appreciate it.

 

I'M SO GLAD. I'm having so much fun writing like this?? I'm almost tempted to just give up writing normal descriptive paragraphs and just do this for everything, but unfortunately not every story lends itself to a transcript-writing session haha. (Though I will warn you, the transcript format will only last for five chapters. If my planning reads correctly.) Okay okay let me tell you about the red underlines. I use Google Docs, which is less autocorrect-y than Word, so it didn't try to edit my mispellings. But the red freaking lines, my goodness. I had to take a deep breath and tell myself that it was okay, it was for the better of the story every time I edited a word to mispell it. (Many thanks for Maggie, of course, for giving me pointers on where to mispell!)

 

Hahaha I'm so happy that it made you laugh!! Writing humor is absolutely not my forte and I've just been so thankful that this story seems to be generally perceived as funny, so thank you so much. (Yeah, these demigods don't want to be here, no matter how important the matter is of someone going through and vandalizing Piper's stuff haha.)

 

Writing Leo has been, hands down, the best experience of this. Like, I've never understood what people meant by "characters' dialogue sometimes gets away from me" until I started writing Leo, who does not shut up omfg. (Also the quality of this review is definitely not trash, it made me laugh and it made me happy and keep writing reviews like this!! It's so much fun to read haha.) Hahaha Leo is making Drew's life ten times harder than it needs to be, and he loves it.

 

Ahh trying to get Drew's character right was so hard omg, I'm still struggling haha. But she has this aura of bitchiness around her (as you can probably tell haha) and she really does care primarily about herself, but omg I am having a whale of a time writing someone like this. Like. How often do you get to come up with people who say terrible, insensitive things?? NOT OFTEN. So I'm making the most of this hehe. I really, really enjoyed reading the Percy Jackson series and thought it was absolutely hilarious (though many of these characters are actually introduced in the sequel series, Heroes of Olympus), so I would totally recommend it! It's a middle-grade book, though, and I read it when I was younger so I can't quite say if you'll enjoy it. (But my story is formatted and written quite, quite differently so I can't guarantee that you'll like/dislike the same characters haha.)

 

I don't know how actual judges do it, I'd probably be bored out of my wits lmao. But I agree with Leo. I honestly think I wrote that one line because I was craving an ice cream myself lol.

 

I just wanted to quickly explain something -- in the Heroes of Olympus series (sequel to the Percy Jackson series), Drew's introduced as like a terrible person. Like, she uses her charmspeak to manipulate other people, she flirts with Jason (who's dating Piper), she drags other people through the mud...and she "wears makeup" lol. But I was honestly so upset by her one-dimensionality that I really wanted to write a story focusing on her here. Anyway, so her brazenness and brusqueness is technically in the books, but I thought that if Drew herself was telling her own story, then she would automatically get more dimension that way, you know? I'm so glad that you're loving her personality, though, and also that you understand the story!

 

Drew is willing to bear anything to get Reyna to like her hehe. Honestly I want to be a demigod just so that I can be classified as terrifying. Also so that I can swordfight because that honestly sounds like so much fun.

 

THANK YOU FOR READING EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW THE FANDOM, YOU'RE AN ANGEL. <3

 

~Eva



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2018 11:42 PM · [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drew

Okay so. I'm a dumbass that thought didn't realize there were any misspellings until you pointed them out lmao. 

 

Anyways, this story is interesting. I kind of appreciate you using Drew as your "voice," i guess, because she's usually the one that's hated on. 

 

The way you wrote this story was in such way that it sounded like as if you were actually writing a story, not dialogue. Which works in this case, because it adds to the characterization of Drew as kind of a dramatic person. 

 

I also totally agree with Percy; I felt that second hand embarassment so hard omg. Why would Drew do that??????? 

 

I'm intrigued as to anyone would burn Piper McLean's pictures, and the description of this story adds to that even more. 

 

Tiny but important thing: I love how "exaggeratied" you wrote Leo, if you get what I mean?? Like he's dramatic in the Drew sense of dramatic except he goes off on tangents rather than using details. 

 

I'm really sorry if you don't understand what the hell is going on in this review, I don't either. 



Author's Response:

Honestly same I probably wouldn't've noticed any mispellings either, I'm so bad at catching that sort of thing in writing haha. I actually have a huge fondness for the characters that are destined to be hated, which was why I picked Drew. And I made her mildly less terrible, because let's be honest, Rick really went overboard with that whole "evil girl is evil" thing.

 

The entire time I wrote this, I felt secondhand embarrassment. Drew is just...such an embarrassing person? She does such embarrassing things?? And relishes in the pain that it causes the people around her??? She's a drama queen, that's for sure, but I'm having a lot of fun writing her haha. And the true reason for Piper McLean's pictures burning will come out near the end of the story, which I'll hopefully get to eventually hahaha.

 

WRITING LEO WAS THE BEST PART OF THIS, HANDS DOWN. I love my boy, in all his idiocy. <3

 

Thank you for the review!

 

~Eva



Name: facingthenorthwind (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2018 04:20 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:spartan Chapter: drew

eva, eva come closer, i have a secret to tell you. no, that's too close, back off just slightly. right. good. [whispers] i think this fic is Quite Good.

I know, it's a surprise. You may be thinking "but emma, you have literally never indicated to me in any way that you had even read this fic, let alone favourited it, let alone gushed extensively about it in increasingly incoherent ways". Despite all that, it is true. This is my favourite PJO fic ever.

So I confessed to you that I did not remember Drew from the books because it has been many years since I read them and I am but an old woman whose brain is but a sieve. That hasn't changed. BUT I do love her a LOT. The voice you've given her is absolutely perfect -- the wit in this is SO TOP NOTCH and Drew could cut a man (probably Leo) with her wit and also her cheekbones and I am HERE FOR IT. The framing of Leo transcribing her "trial" is genius and adds a delightful layer to the whole proceedings, because it gives us like...we get simultaneously two somewhat unreliable narrators at once, in both Drew and Leo. It's so interesting to see when their narration clashes.

I was yelling with joy pretty much from the first word but this bit is PERFECTION:  [As she begins snobbily repeating “It’s okay” to herself, I shall take the opportunity to describe the fashion choices of everyone in the room—]   DREW: No. No you shall not.

NO I LIED THIS IS PERFECTION:  PERCY: Um, Drew? People died.

Also I loooove that she was like "feast your eyes, ladies" on the bikini-clad girls because 10/10 the lesbian gaze, i'm here for it. dudes don't look.

" Or something. I don’t watch Game of Thrones, so." This somehow perfectly encapsulates the beautiful and excellent voice you've given Drew -- I live for the dismissiveness and the Too Cool For You vibe she gives off. what a gift. Also the way she's like "Reyna hates me and I don't quite understand this feeling inside my chest right now. is it....loathing? is it.....a big honking crush?? nobody knows, and we will never find out". I just "I wanted to see something marr that perfect face" GODDD IT'S SO GOOD. 

I also ADORE the line about the layout of the camp. What r u doing, rick. And the way she's like "uhh I guess people were feeling...grief or something? there was some kind of major conflict in which multiple people died? and people were bummed about it? anyway i didn't care so i needed to find a way to turn it to my advantage".

The abrupt ending is BEAUTIFUL especially because like....Leo did NOT need to write all that down. And because of the framing device of the story, he's in charge of when things end, even if it's in the middle of a sentence. I love!!!!!! everything!!!! about this story!!!!! Everyone's voice is PERFECT, I can hear Annabeth in my head, and Leo and Drew of course, and long-suffering Chiron, and aaaah. It makes me want to reread this garbage franchise but anything will be a disappointment compared to this fic, so....I guess I can never read anything ever again. What a trying problem. 

[yells incoherently] EVA THIS IS THE BEST FIC EVER



Author's Response:

Emma, Emma, come closer. [whispers] I am Very Glad you think this fic is quite good. [in a normal voice] Okay I swear I have never laughed harder reading a review than when reading this one. Every time I need to feel better or even just motivate myself to keep writing stuff I'm just coming back to this because how are you this funnyyy.

 

It still boggles me how people don't remember Drew? Like I think you're one of three people who've read the books who can't remember Drew, and meanwhile I have been fixated upon her since Day 1. But thank you so much omg I'm so glad that you like her for all her bitchiness and dramatics, and I love writing her. (Though writing her consistently is harddd I am struggling.) Well now that you've mentioned Drew's cheekbones, I must go and make sure to include it in the story because yes that girl's cheekbones could cut a man. And I am a huge fan of unreliable narrators, so having two ridiculous characters duking it out in an all-around ridiculous narration is the most fun I've had writing, like, ever.

 

Thank you for listing all your favorite quotes omg!! It makes me so happy to see which specific lines you liked the most, eep. I HOPE I CAN KEEP HER VOICE CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT ACK. Hahaha Drew is soo uncaring and blase about other people's feelings it's so freeing to write her ahaha. (I'm almosted tempted to encourage you to reread the books so that you can finally remember Drew hehe.)

 

[SCREAMING] THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL, UPLIFTING REVIEW I LOVE IT ILY TY <333

 

~Eva



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