Pix! I'm here for that review you requested... forever ago. Ack! I'm so sorry! I totally forgot to check my review thread for a while. :S
So. Diving right in then! I love the way you start the reveal about the scar on her arm. My first thought was "...wait, she's a Death Eater?" when you mentioned her wrist twinging, which is a pretty wild theory to guess at, but I liked that you brought it up in a mysterious way before discussing what actually happened.
Also, I will forever be distraught over Remus and Tonks' death in DH but I'm still sad at this AU even though Tonks is alive, just because. as she puts it, they've been separated and this is almost crueler D-':
It seems so realistic that even after the fall of Voldemort, there's still a lot going on for the Aurors and having to capture all the people who were involved on Voldemort's side. I also like the detail you added about the Hunters, sort of vigilantes who are rounding up the Death Eaters by their own means, as that's something I can also totally see happening - just because the war is over doesn't mean all the chaos is too, and it's understandable that things are still all over the place for a while before it all settles down.
I'm also really sad about Marcus' wife (Fleur, I assume?)'s death and the circumstances of how it happened, omg what a horrible thing to happen :(
One thing that made me wonder if I'd missed something was how Tonks knows that the glowing scar means that he ("Marcus") is in danger. Is the behaviour of linked scars like that a well-known phenomenon in the wizarding world? They both seem to understand quite well how it works, considering neither of them understands how it got there in the first place. I think a little more background on it could be useful if it's background they know. I realize that Tonks says later in the chapter that she did some research after a panic attack, which clears it up a little, but it still came across the first time she mentioned it as something missing. (I hope that made sense...)
(Tangent: Marcus clearly has a superpower, I am amazed that he Apparated without creasing the cup or spilling the coffee. I once spilt coffee all over my face through the little hole in the top of a Starbucks cup lid because I moved my arm too fast. I don't know how it happened. Anyway I'm mad jealous of Marcus' skills and grace even when he is transformed into half a werewolf.)
Bill had no idea where to start. -- This is the first time that you mention his name is Bill - before the reveal at the end - and I kind of wonder if you meant Marcus?
Some overall thoughts: I really love your characterization. Particularly with Tonks. She's clearly changed a little bit, as would be expected from someone whose life partner has just died and she's had to pick up the pieces and move on - but she's still very much herself, very observant and stubborn. I love that she is on this mission to find the person with the matching scar and has been doing all this reconaissance at the place but also as a bonus gets to stop for coffee every day. And her tenacity at telling Bill not to give up is very reminiscent of how she was towards the end of HBP with Remus. Like "get over yourself and your self-pity, there are things to do" :P I'm totally unsurprised that she had no reaction to Bill's half transformation either, as she was married to a werewolf before.
There's a bit more mystery surrounding Bill, allusions made to things that happened in his past, and I'm curious to find out more. And what drives these sudden random transformations. It must be so incredibly inconvenient for him.
This is such an interesting start. I haven't read many Soulmate AU stories (as in, I've read one) so this is a totally new thing for me, and I love what you've written so far! I don't know what tropes of this type of story are common, but it all seems quite original to me. I love the mystery you've woven in, the pacing is really good, and your writing style is engaging. The end of the chapter leaves it well set up for Tonks and Bill to become a great team, even though Bill is reluctant to tell her much, but the fact that they did tell each other that they'd each lost someone, it kind of starts them off understanding each other a little.
Once again, I'm so sorry for taking so long on this request. But I really loved this chapter! Please feel free to re-request though, and I promise I will be properly checking my review thread from now on XD
It's okay that this took a little while. My summer has been packed with stuff, so I am just getting around to responding. No worries!
Don't feel bad about the lack of knowledge in Soulmate AUs. I hadn't read any Soulmate AUs until I entered this challenge, so you can't exactly compare it to a typical Soulmate AU and how people do them. I DO NOT KNOW THIS!! I just sort of threw all my stuff in there for the challenge and then wrote the story.
I probably shouldn't have mentioned Bill right there in that section. Let's just call it a typo and move on. Haha. One day I'll go back and fix that. Bill's transformations are way more than just an inconvenience. But he's doing the best he can with what he has. Tonks also doesn't want to die, so it's important that she gets the two of them on the same page, no matter what the circumstances. She's a practical one, isn't she?
Thanks for the review! I will definitely rerequest when I get around to it. :)
Bravo and Bravo! What a masterfully done story!! The Fenrir ruse at Azkaban, his framing Bill and his Ring of Werewolf Mastery...all superb!
I'm going to have a hard time beating that in Kenny's Auror Tales Challenge! :)
As always, you capture the reader with your plots, prose and excellent descriptions!!
That was heart-rending and exciting, all at the same time!
You describe Tonks and Bill's emotions so vividly and completely that you suck the reader right into their minds and hearts. Bravo, for another terrific tri-chapter.
Can't wait for the ending!!!
Another awesome tri-chapter!!
Your descriptions are amazing and your story line is really interesting!! Such an original idea you have here, and you've developed it so well. Kudos!!
Also, I really enjoy how you slip in the back-story bits so effortlessly.
I can't wait to get to the rest of it!!!!
Gotta say, I definitely did not see this ending coming. I mean, obviously the Bill/Tonks bit I did, but the Greyback bit???? Not at all. I would never have guessed they were using herbs to trigger the transformations, or that he was in charge of the Hunters.
I absolutely loved the world you crafted so deftly in these 22k! The corruption that was rampant, despite Voldy being dead; the way you made things that were only mentioned once or twice in the books into fully fleshed out universes of their own (I would LOVE if you wrote more about cursebreakers!!!!) and just…..the way it all felt so real?
I loved the way the fic was structured too, the twelve scenes and how they were all in a different place, with no waffling about getting from here to there, which I do constantly. The ending was utterly perfect -- often with endings that are also the beginning of something new I feel weirdly cheated, you know? But this time not at all! I'm super glad they didn't kiss, actually -- it would have felt far too rushed, and this is what they both deserve. Gosh, Pix, I don't know what to say, I loved this fic so much! Masterful work.
Oh NO. So someone framed him! But also possibly triggered his transformation? Oh this is so complicated, I LOVE IT.
Ohhhhh nooooooooo. BILL. I love how masterfully you've tied everything together, I genuinely had no idea how you were going to do it until you did. This chapter was such a great demonstration of your skill in laying out (part of) the solution to the central mystery and it never felt like you were dumping a load of information, it all felt so natural within the narrative. Given how much worldbuilding you've done, that's incredible. I loved the joke about interrogation room 5 and man, you just....succeed so hard at plotting?
All three scenes were so different and so good, too -- I love their relationship and the constant comparison between Bill and Remus. And Shell Cottage!!!!! That was so heartbreaking. I totally hadn't expected your solution at all, it was infinitely easier than what I was imagining, haha! I can't adequately explain what I was thinking, but I do know that it was unnecessarily complex and I could not see how it could be possible at all. Which makes sense because it wasn't.
But yes, ahhh I loved this chapter and I love this fic, it's so tightly plotted and so well-done!!!! Congrat on the excellent fic, onto the last chapter!
Hey Pix! Back with another requested review! :)
I'm really loving the awkwardness between Tonks' and Bill's circumstances. Like how familiar Tonks is with Bill's family. It makes the soulmate thing seem not convenient and therefore unrealistic, but you've created something new in a familiar world and I'm really impressed with that :) I also think the plot is such a perfect way to bring them together, like how Tonks needs to stop the Hunters from killing Bill or she'll be killed as well. I don't know, it just seems really well put together!
The goblin's names are so brilliant haha :') and this line made me laugh also! Nash snorted. "A hag. Just your luck."
Bill's line of work actually sounds amazing and if you created like an episodic series about curse-breakers I would read that!
Ooh, what's the ending with Goyle? How intriguing! Great chapter, Pix! x
Hey, I'm here for our swap! (Sorry for the delay!)
I loved this so, so much. Tonks is such a vibrant, active person, and thinking about what she'd do without Remus is such an interesting thought exercise. You captured her perfectly; a lot of her bluntness clearly remains, but there's an edge to her now that wasn't there in the books. That makes so much sense, given what she's been through in terms of losing Remus and this situation with the soulmate thing.
I also kind of like the implication (that I think is there?) that Remus wasn't actually her soulmate. I know she loved him, but that relationship in the books always felt a little forced to me, and I think that he wasn't wrong - he was too old for her. The idea that she has such a strong connection with someone else is just so perfect, and I can't wait to see how you tackle this going forward!
Also: oh my god, I did not see that twist coming! I had no effing clue Marcus was Bill - I didn't look at the character list before clicking in. I'm so stunned right now - I just can't. That's legit one of the most amazing reveals, and I love it.
This is an amazing premise, and you execute it so well!
Gosh, it's been TOO LONG, and I'm just now responding. That's bad of me, but life is busy, and I'm here now, so THANK YOU for a great review!!
Tonks was a fantastic character to play with. She's got a lot going on, and something is wrong in her world that she needs to fix. Don't get between her and her problems, or you'll probably bleed or something.
Anyway, I suppose that since this is a Soulmate AU fic, you could say that Remus wasn't her soulmate. But also, since he's dead, could she have another one? That's an interesting question. I know that soulmates are mostly about "there can be only one", but what if, you know? Anyway, there's a bit about what's going on in a future chapter. Let me know what you think when you get there.
Ah, yes. The twist just felt so right. It kind of amazed me that it worked out so well. When I was writing this, I was thinking "please let this work out as good as it sounds in my head", so I spent a little time with the timing of it... I'm glad it was worth it. It's one of my favorite twists . :) Though I think I have a typo right before it that needs fixing.
Thanks so much for all your kind words! We should swap again sometime!
Hi Pix! I'm here for the Gryffie review tag!! (and because I've been impossibly curious about this story ever since you posted it, because it's a soulmate AU that's a total departure from the typical soulmate AU plotline/story)
This is truly such an interesting take on... well, everything. First off, I love how much thought you've put into the creation of the soulmate marks, what they mean, and how they got there. It shows just how much work you put into the story, establishing all of that, as well as all of the elements of backstory here, like how Tonks was saved even though Remus wasn't, how Bill lost his wife and developed this new form of lycanthropy - all of those details really make this story something really unique.
I adore your descriptions, particularly when you were talking about fear - I have a thing with cool words, so the phrase "vile, insidious sensation that sank into his every fibre" is just... yes.
You've also done a great job establishing the groundwork for the rest of this story. For starters, Tonks and Bill have great chemistry, with Tonks just being completely unafraid of him even in his half-werewolf state, and Bill knowing that there's no way he can get away with lying to her. I'm intrigued to see how their relationship develops throughout the story. And, of course, you've teased about these Hunters, which I'm assuming are going to become a central plot point for the rest of the story!
Great first chapter, I can't wait to read more!!
Teach me how to write romance!
Thanks! I try to make stuff 'interesting', mostly by taking the road 'least likely to be traveled', and then explore what that means. The descriptions come when they come, and I try not to force them. I could pepper the entire fic with really cool descriptions, but then my muse is all 'why?', so I throw them in when they work. I'm glad you liked that one. It needs to touch the character to make an impact, so I use that as my guide. :) It worked this time. Most of the time it looks like this: *flails wildly*
The first chapter NEEDED some grounding, since I went all kinds of crazy with the other ideas. :P I am VERY CURIOUS to see what you think of the whole thing and how it comes together, so if you don't get a chance to review every chapter, I don't mind if you just leave a summary review for the last chapter one day.
THANKS FOR READING THIS! I LOVE YOU!
Hi Pix! I’m finally getting around to reviewing everyone’s entries for my Soulmate AU challenge so here I am with yours! :)
Firstly, I just wanted to say how much I love that you ran with your prompts and did not only a multi-chapter story, but a 22k word story! I’m happy that you had that much inspiration for the piece from the challenge prompts! Also, this is my first story reading about Bill/Tonks as a pairing, so that excited me as well to read this. Your soulmate prompt was the pulsing dashes when in danger and the like, so I was very curious to see how you portrayed it with my less than great description lol. Your random prompt was the ridiculous coffee order, and I honestly almost forgot that was your prompt because it was written in such a way as to be seamless with the plot rather than a simple character trait, so I truly applaud you for that.
So I’m not going to go into super detail because that would go way over the character limit for reviews, but I’ll give you my general thoughts for the piece regarding how it worked with the prompts, the characters, and the plot. As I already mentioned, you did a great job with integrating the soulmate marks for Tonks and Bill into the time just after the Second Wizarding War, which I was honestly not expecting. When I saw that this was a Bill/Tonks pairing, but after the war where Remus is dead, I was confused initially because canonically, Fleur is fine (obvi) so that intrigued me to see how this was going to play out. I also quite enjoyed how you portrayed the aftermath of the War with the Hunters trying to do the Auror’s job (ish) as a more dystopian future than what canon gives us. Your imagination with Bill’s werewolf condition and the thought process behind that from Fenrir with the flowers to change how the lycanthropy virus works is quite honestly ingenious and works as a huge driving factor for this fast-paced plot.
Your level of detail for how Tonks and Bill got their soulmate marks was amazingly well done and tightly sealed--no plot holes found by me! You spent a good amount of time providing reasons as to why Fenrir Greyback created the Hunters and for finding the plant that allowed for shifting at non-full moon times, making him into a truly multi-dimensional villain. Overall, this story is very well done and I’m happy that you enjoyed writing it! Phenomenal writing and plot as a whole, I’ll be posting the challenge results later! :)
Such a great start! Super descriptions and a super curse!
Your excellent descriptions (both physical and mental) led to a quick realization that the "mystery man" was Bill, but I love the way you led the reader to him.
Such an original plot, and I really like the way you've organized the story into sub-chapters (and POV's)...really cool!
Can't wait to read the rest!!
Thanks for reading! I can't wait to see what you think of the ending. When you get there, please leave me a note to tell me how it all worked together! The original idea was to do a 12 chapter story, with each POV in a different chapter, but then I thought I'd have a hard time getting people to do 12 reviews for my story, so I combined them into three scenes per chapter. It seems to be working, and people are getting around to the end. Haha! Marketing, you know? :P
So gald you're enjoying it!
Pix, I'm here with review 3 of 3, leaving it for the last chapter as requested.
There was so much going on! But in a very good and very exciting way. And I've got to hand it to you, I think it's the details of this piece that stuck out to me the most, like with the different security guards and how Tonks knew something was up; how the wolf's lethargy was a way they knew it wasn't actually Greyback.
I loved how everything came full circle; that Tonks was able to get revenge for Remus and allow them both to rest, and that Bill was able to get the revenge he deserved for Fleur. And god, I just wanted to hug him when they were both back at Shell Cottage. I can't imagine how painful being back there would be, but I loved that they were able to use magic and the photographs to sort of piece everything together; it was really creative and it definitely made sense to me. I'm so glad Tonks went with Bill, though, because I don't think that that's something he should've done alone. And speaking of full circle, I loved that this started with them meeting in a coffee shop and ending with Bill asking her for a cup of coffee. It seems so trivial and normal after everything they've been through, but I think that's what they need; some shred of normalcy and someone who understood them better than anyone else. I have to admit, I got excited about the idea of them coming up with stories to tell Molly, but I'm glad you left it sort of up in the air.
Greyback was the perfect villain for this and it makes sense why you chose him. Having a city of controlled werewolves is absolutely terrifying; I'm so so glad that Bill and Tonks were able to come out victorious in that last fight in the kitchen. And I was going to ask how Bill knew the exact moment to come out, but you explained it away with the soulmate bond, and I think that worked quite well for this.
You did an amazing job of keeping everything fast paced while not forgetting about the soulmark; you'd mention it during the fight, and later after, and a few other times in the piece and I think it worked well. I liked your origin story behind that as well.
Overall, this was a really excellent read! I've never considered Bill and Tonks as a pairing before, but I loved this AU and was really rooting for them. I also had no idea if they were going to end up together or not, and the last section at the end tied it all together nicely without feeling too forced.
I'm glad that they both can start to put their past behind them and help each other heal and move forward.
Good luck in the challenge! ♥ ♥ ♥
Ah, yes! I'm so happy! All's well that ends well, right? :)
Finally Greyback is going to pay for everything, and Bill and Tonks can have their fresh start again! This is so great! :D
I loved how you wrote the action in the Erised Cafe section, it was so well done! And, well, I loved how you built the whole plot, it was all so clever! I knew there was something wrong with the Hunters... had Greyback basically hypnotized all of them? I so hate him, btw...
This was such a great story! Thank you so much for stopping by my review thread and making me discover it! :)
Tons of love, dear!
Hi! I'm sure these review responses are all over the place, but I just want you to know how much I appreciate your comments on this story!
This last chapter is the most important to me, because I get to see if the readers have embraced all the tied up bits and whether they've spotted anything that I left out. Looks like you're good with the ending. I tried to make it as satisfying as possible, while not stretching it beyond the scope I initially set out to cover. That's hard for me. I always get weird ideas and my muse tends to run off to Timbuktu and come back three monts later with a tan and a mysterious tattoo.
I'm so happy you reviewed the whole thing. Thank you!
Ah, he didn't kill Fleur! I love this! It's such a huge weight lifted from his shoulders and I'm so glad that he knows the truth now!
I also love your concept that werewolves do have some kind of awareness when they transform. It's not my interpretation at all, but I love it! And of course Tonks would understand Bill's feelings so well... poor Bill, he's just so broken. That moment when they were waiting for the test results... I was so anguished for him. And I'm so, so glad that Tonks and Bill have found each other, because they are obviously helping each other out a lot. I love how Tonks compares Bill's attitude with Remus' and I love that she has the chance to hold him when he's falling apart, that scene was so emotional and I loved it so, so much!
All the description of Shell Cottage was so lovely, too. Your whole writing style is so lovely, now that I'm thinking about it. Poor Bill, this must be so hard, but it is something he needed to do. And he doesn't have to do it alone, which is so lovely.
So, basically, I'm loving this story more and more and I'm totally going to check out the last chapter after lunch!
Wonderful job so far!
It IS a big weight off his shoulders. He's just been carrying it for so long that it's going to take him a while to realize that the weight really isn't STILL THERE. Poor guy!
Yeah, that whole werewolf thing was a concern for this story. In canon, wolfsbane is supposed to calm the beast so that the wizard remains aware during the change. I tried to incorporate that here, with Bill having both his coffee AND being affected by whatever is causing him to half-change. This is a prime example of my muse running away with a plot point and me scrambling to keep it all together.
Crazy muse. I'm taking away her rollerblades!
That scene after the test results came in was critical. I didn't know if I got it right, and I think I wrote that scene a few times over just to be sure I had as much as I could take. But yeah. It was meant to be a big deal, because it really is a big deal to both of them. I'm glad it worked for you.
Thanks for another fantastic review!
Hi, Pix, I'm back! :)
Oh, wow... does this mean that the Hunters are lying? I'm not exactly surprised by that, unless there's something more complex going on? I don't trust them, anyway, and I don't like that they are after Bill... he's a victim, he hasn't done anything wrong, not voluntarily, at least... :(
I love the soulmate theme, but I think I already told you that. I love the idea that the curse was meant to be a blessing, like a way to heal people who went through big suffering, which is obviously what happened to Bill and Tonks when they lost Fleur and Remus. And of course there is a lot Bill and Remus have in common and I love you are pointing that out.
What I'm not sure about is (and it might be my fault, because I wasn't 100% focused while I was reading...) how much does Williamson know about the link between Tonks and Bill? And if Bill is wanted, which I think he is?, will Tonks' team cover up for him? Admitting they made/will make the connection? This is complicated for sure, but it looks like they have each other's back, so hopefully it won't be that much of a mess? Yeah, I'm worried...
I also really, really love Bill's colleagues. They are such an awesome and supportive group. And he really needs all the support, the poor guy... Ah, I so love this!
This was such a great chapter! Moving to chapter 3 now! :)
Lots of love,
Hi Chiara! I'm back too!
Umm... yeah, the Hunters have their own thing going on. They're above/beyond the law here, so that's gotta be a bad thing, and yes, it's a bit more complex. But you know that by now. :)
In this story, Bill and Remus have some clear parallels, and yes, for Tonks' sake, I wanted to set that up. But also, it gives Bill a way to be understood by someone who's been there with someone else in his position. It was the best way I could think of to make these two work.
You've got all the questions, and the rest of the story has all the answers. Haha!
I love Bill's colleagues too! I wanted to show their lives where they are, but not in a rambling novel way, just in a "here, you have lives and you're trying to live in them' way without slowing the story down. I'm glad that worked for you too!
Thanks so much for reading this story and leaving me your words!
Oh boy. I LOVE the twist you've put on the soulmate AU -- I hadn't even *considered* setting it in a universe where soulmates weren't an established thing. I love that it's the fault of a curse that Bill was breaking, and I LOVE that I did not at all pick up on who it was -- to the point where I almost went "you say Bill in this sentence, did you mean Marcus?" but thankfully decided to just let it slide. And then....I read the end of chapter one and a-duh.
Your characterisation of Tonks is so spot on, and although I was initially confused about like, why wouldn't she know Bill, you did mention that she never joined the Order -- though I do wonder how she met Remus in that case? I mean, it's not important, I was just wondering. UPDATE: chapter 2 obviously answered all of these questions.
gosh, the pacing in this is so masterfully done! the line "“Time’s up, Tonks,” Williamson said from his desk. He swiveled his chair around and met her, glare to glare. “I’m all ears.”" is so gooooood, I don't quite know why? Like, there's nothing special about the line, but it was just so *satisfying*.
"Goblin magic was unforgiving." I LOVE THIS DETAIL. gosh I am LIVING for the details of cursebreaking life. "“Dartmoor. In Devon. I bet someone tipped over the Beardown Man again.” Sector Seven wasn’t part of Gringotts’ treasure recovery territories. It was maintenance work. There wasn’t anything of value there, but it didn’t keep people from snooping around the sacred land of the pixies. " I have no useful things to say about this, I just super duper duper love when people talk about wizarding jobs!!!!
I'm so intrigued by the new mystery you presented at the end of this chapter -- the plottiness of this is so good (it's something I super struggle with, so I just have everyone have emotions instead :P) and I love how this adds a whole new layer of weirdness to the Hunters.
Sorry, I feel like this review wasn't useful in any way shape or form and I said...basically nothing, but I loved what I've read so far! I will be back to leave a second review after I've done some homework.
Umm... well, since I'd never actually read a Soulmate AU fic before I entered this challenge, I had absolutely no reference points to jump from, so I just found the nearest cliff and dove head first into the waters. And well... there you go. It's probably why this fic doesn't have any cliche' soulmate tropes... because I don't know what they are. Oops? Hahah!
Actually, re-reading that bit, I should have used "Marcus" instead of "Bill". So hooray for finding a typo. :) I waffled a bit on how to portray the secret identity and make the reveal a big reveal-y thing. It seems to have worked. But I still wonder if I could have done that better. For example, if the reader didn't have a clear idea of who "Bill Weasley" was, would they care if he had a completely different name?
I really like that last line by Williamson. He's that no-nonsense kind of boss who gave Tonks her space, but when the facts mandated that it was time to spill, he wasn't going to let her off the hook. I really liked how it felt when I wrote it, and it seems to have worked out. Yay!
Oh man, I think I could write about Curse Breakers all day long. It sounds so cool, and I'm sure they get up to their own adventures all the time. For the purpose of this story, I just wanted to show that they have a lot going on off-screen, and that Bill isn't sitting around moaning about his life. He's in danger, but he also goes to work in the midst of life-threatening situations every day as well. It's not really a great line of work when someone else's life is on the line. Another quandry.
I LIVE FOR PLOT... and I avoid emotional situations like the plague. So kinda opposite of you... we should team up some time! I wonder what THAT kind of story would be like. Haha.
Thanks for the review! I hope you get a chance to read the rest of the story!
Hey, Pix! Here with review 2 of 3 ♥
I really enjoyed what you did with this chapter. It felt very true to life, like when there's this huge change but then you still have to go back and go to work, or go through your daily routines, and figure out how to deal with everything that's going on. I loved that you gave Tonks and Bill equal ways to process the information before using section three to have them figure out how to break the mark.
I'm glad Bill came clean to his friends about some of the things that have been going on, and I feel bad because it seems like Tonks doesn't have that many people in her life? Or at least, none that we've seen so far that she can talk to, although she does seem to be particularly close[r] to Molly. I'd be super curious to see how their relationship would be, especially after the whole soulmate thing. There was still some humor in this chapter, mostly from Tonks' snark, which I always enjoy.
What I love about this is that you're great at giving us a lot of details and information, but you present them in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming. It really works, especially for a soulmate AU. Also, I love the idea of the Unspeakables knowing about soulmate curses.
And of course they don't think it's a good thing and they want to try and break it. Like, I get it guys, dying because of someone else would be terrible. But also? This is your soulmate? DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING XD
But anyway. The chapter ended with a great twist! I'm super curious to see how someone can be dead twice...
Another excellent chapter! I'm definitely wondering how this is all going to play out in the end ♥
PIX! Why haven't I looked at this before? I have no idea. Should I have read it already? Yes. It's brilliant.
Your opening was wonderful. At first it seems mundane, that this is the new dull life of Tonks, but of course, as it turns out she's there for a reason. I mean, if I could meet my soulmate and get coffee at the same time I would be there every day too.
The way she describes Bill as, you can tell there's something there but it's not gone to far into the over the top drawn-to-each other idea. Leading on from that, they haven't met by chance, she's actively saught him out which just fits Tonks! (Similarly the fact that she's looking for him to tell him to get a grip and not fall in love. VERY TONKS.)
Going through, both of their inner monologues were so in character and really well balanced. Although they're going through similar emotions, pain and loss, they deal with everything differently while completely remaining in character.
Wonderfully written chapter!
God I love this pair... I can already tell dealing with them both together is bring to be a riot going forward. Can't wait to read more!
I don't know! Come and look again anytime!!
I re-read this opening, and I was all "Meh, why are the first four paragraphs here so BORING??? What was wrong with me????" But then it started to roll... so I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to that first section to either tighten it up or make it more hook-ish. Or maybe I need to trust that the reader will keep on keeping on until paragraph five or six, or wherever it picks up. So many things to second-guess. Oh well.
Ah, haha. You should have seen the first draft of this. Tonks was all over the place with the SHOULDERS and things... and I toned it way back, and liked it so much better. It also make her a lot more in character, like, people are like that. They want to have their private fantasies, but they don't really want anyone else to know that they're thinking like that... like... so unprofessional, just get your coffee and get on with it. But yeah, she has a mission. She wants to live. There are Reasons.
Thanks so much for the glowing words! I hope you get to read the rest of this and tell me what you thought of all the stuff coming together at the end.
Sorry for the wait on the swap! I had fixed my internet for a day, but it's back on the fritz and I was losing connection every 15-20 minutes or so - and I hate reviewing on my phone >_<
Anyway, I really like this chapter because I think it covers a full range of emotions and genres. In the beginning we get privacy between Tonks and Bill at St. Mungo's where you get to see that personal connection develop between them. While they're still analyzing his situation, they both start to see who they truly are - literally in the case of Bill, but also in terms of their conversation going a bit deeper than before.
In the middle we get the critical reveal that Bill (as I predicted) didn't kill Fleur. You pepper in some humor here at the beginning with "Interrogation Room 5", and then wind it up with the hurt/comfort between the duo. I thought you portrayed the shock and relief that Bill experienced after hearing the results and the reassuring insistence (I'm not sure that's exactly the right description, but hopefully you get it) that Tonks delivers them with.
Finally at the end we get the sort of crime procedural examination of the scene (which I personally enjoy quite a bit). Having read on already :p I can also say that I think you established Greyback's motive and the transition to the ultimate reveal that's coming up.
As always, I really like the depth you included in the characters and settings plus the clever peppering in of humor that you often include.
Thanks for the swap!
(oops! my review has gone from the cellphone during lunch time 'cause of expiration, but it's okay, I got snap shots, so...)
Hi, Pixi! Thank you for offering review swaps. It's a good chance to read more before judging the whole story for Auror's Tale story challenge, and it's simply a fun read. :)
Many things happened one after another in chapter 1. Readers can't stop reading expecting what's coming next... oh, I am in a bit judge's mood.
Okay, honestly, I was confused and surprised by your plot. Bill in this AU world transformed into a werewolf in spite of taking the special blended coffee, (I remembered the tea which let Wren Longbottom wake up from the curse.) And then, all whys and hows were cleared after reading this chapter.
A penny dropped. He was destined to connect with Tonks as a soulmate after he faced Indian powerful and magical artifact activated. It's interesting to see Tonks doesn't like the fate while being attracted to him. (Maybe, if you add his masculine odor to the description there, it will be more interesting in a wild way, 'cause he is werewolf? )
Bill has sent his life in disguise and his fellows have helped him not to be hunted. Then a question is still there. What on earth are the Hunters? Do they hate the existence of werewolves? Has the Ministry ever tried to stop them? It seems they killed Bill's kinds a lot.
You set the awful hurdle, situation for the couple, Bill and Tonks. And he seems to have killed his wife, Fleur unintentionally. So sad. I suppose the same circumstance will make the distance short between Tonks and Bill. You hinted a few romantic scenes here and there. I expect they will have time to talk about their hardships in the past and take care each other. There will be emotional exchanges to be true soulmates plus physically affectionate scenes coming?
It's very intriguing that Goyle seems to die and live again. Is that horrible dark magic or curse?
I am also happy to see many names from HP books, Auror Williamson and Savage work together with Tonks! And can we see Ron and Harry somewhere?
So many actions and mysteries!
I was wondering if I had put "too much" in the story. My imagination runs away with ideas sometimes, but I hope that it all comes together in the end. *crosses fingers*
Yes, Bill transforms in spite of the coffee blend, which is a wrong thing. Haha, yeah, I kind of forgot about Wren and her tea. Caffiene fixes everything! :P But I'm glad that things got cleared up after this chapter. There's... a lot going on here.
That's a good idea. I like making Tonks struggle more. I'll definitely think about that suggestion. Thanks! And I'm not even sure if the werewolf thing would come into play with that. Fun fun fun!
I do answer the question about the Hunters later, so let me know if it satisfies you when it comes up. I definitely want to know what you think. The idea is that the Hunters mostly kill people that are already on the Auror's list. Not just werewolves. And the Ministry is too busy to deal with them. It's a situation.
I can't speak for the rest of it, since I'd be giving away the plot, and I can't do that. :) Please let me know if you see other confusion or muddled things in the story. Those comments help me get better.
I tried to use the HP characters here. It's only a year after the war, and there aren't many of them in this small community, so there ought to be a large overlap, you know?
Thanks so much for your review! Always tell me what you think. I wanna know!
Hey, Pix! I'm here for review 1 of 3 of your prize reviews for the Say Goodbye Challenge! ♥
I am immediately intrigued by this story, so I'm glad you requested this one. I loved the sectioned format; I thought it did a great job of breaking up the chapter and introducing a few settings, and shifting perspective from Tonks to Marcus. Your Tonks sounds very in character, no nonsense and determined to track down whoever has her matching mark to give her a piece of her mind. I also love what you did with the soulmate prompt; and giving her a soulmate who turns into a werewolf is brilliant.
I loved the coffee shop section. It was a great, slow introduction to the story, and I loved how Marcus' face wasn't anything like she expected it to be. Tonks is definitely observant, and all of the details about the people she's noticed were great and really added life to the story and the coffee shop itself. I can't help but wonder what special ingridents he nees for his coffee, and I loved the snark from Tonks about how the barista should've had everything ready. Their first meeting was so great -- I loved how you fed us small clues as to who Marcus really is but didn't tell us right away; it added to the supense, especially later on as we delved into Marcus' POV.
I thought that was a brilliant change and gave us more insight to his character. He obviously has a mantra, and I just want to hug him because it seems like he's been through a lot. And I love that one of the first things that they reveal about each other is that they've both lost someone important.
Tonks is so clever, though, and I'm super curious to see where this goes. I want to know why there are Hunters after Marcus and I'm glad Tonks isn't having any of his self-pity and that she just wants to live her life. This is going to be an amazing pairing and I'm anxious to see what you do with it!!
And the reveal at the end for Marcus' true identiy was great. Tonks' nonchalant "I need to know who I'm dealing with" was 10/10 in character and it made me chuckle, and I'm glad that Marcus just gave the real answer without messing around.
Also, the title is wonderful and perfect, and you've set up what's promising to be an interesting and unique story, filled with all of my favorite soulmate things, and Tonks and Bill; a pairing I haven't seen before but can already feel myself rooting for.
I'm sorry this review is mostly out of place and rambly, but I really, really enjoyed reading this! Good luck in the challenge ♥
One of the formatting decisions I made when I started this was that every scene had a different setting. So I ended up with twelve. Haha. Not sure that was a good thing, you'll have to tell me as you go. The Soulmate AU and prompt were assigned, so most of this idea came from "how do I make meeting in a coffee shop a life-threatening experience?" Yeah, I thought some werewolf action would be interesting. I've never seen it done, so why not?
I did want Tonks to be a competent Auror. I know she's not the best, but she's and Auror for a reason, so she must have some strengths. And she's not dead yet, so that's something too. Yeah, poor guy has been through a lot. They know about the soulmate thing, but each of them isn't too keen on it. They've already had their connection, so why would this be a good thing? That'd be another thing I've never seen done before, so... yeah...
Hey! I'm glad you thought Tonks was in character. I needed her to be able to handle this without turning into a mess. Oh, you like the title? That's a relief. I found it to be a little corny, but the time crunch to get this posted, along with no other ideas at the moment made me use the first acceptable thing I could think of.
Thanks for enjoying the first chapter! I hope to see you again!
Hey Pix! I'm here (rather late) with you requested review!
Ooh so we have a bit of an AU here? I'm sad we lost Remus but I'm enjoying the concept you're setting up. I've never considered Bill and Tonks as a pairing before, and now that I am I'm like... why isn't it a thing?! They'd be perfect together! Imagine all the adventures and mischief they'd get into! The idea of the marks is really intriguing too. How did they come around, I wonder?
I find it really sweet that Tonks already has a bit of a connection (literal link notwithstanding) with Bill from the coffee shop, the way she comes in when he does because something about him soothes her, and she likes listening to his voice. Recieving both Tonks' and Bill's POVs was really great too, I loved getting to know them better for the purpose of this story, and what they thought about the marks, and there is so much interesting things happening, like Bill becoming a werewolf, and Hunters at large.
This was a pretty solid start to a fic! It's amazing so far, I love it, and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
Yeah, it's the AU Soulmate challenge fic. Yay. Up until this challenge, I'd never even read a soulmate AU fic, and so I have no clue as to the common tropes for this thing. So I just went with my gut. The terms of the Soulmate mark were assigned as part of the challenge. I had to work with what I was given, and after thinking about how on earth I was going to make a life-threatening situation out of a common trip to the coffee shop, this was born.
I'm glad you liked the POV shifts. They go in and out throughout the story, and there's a whole lot of plot and mechanics thrown in there, because I like things complicated and easy to mess up... which is why I normally have several betas to straighten me out. Please let me know if everything made sense at the end. I'd be forever grateful.
Thanks for the lovely review!
Very satisfying. :) Consumed in one sitting. Well edited, excellent action and dialogue. Great job!
Aww, thanks! I tried to make it clean and inviting, as fics go!
I'm glad you liked the action, since, well... there was so much of it. LOL.
Thanks so much for reading and leaving me a note! Your comments made my day!
Oooooh. Dun duN DUNNNN! I am enjoying this a lot! Great work. Love that they haven't fallen immediately all gooey eyed in lurve (yet).
Ah. Haha! It's not THAT kind of story, so if you're more into 'intrigue' than romance, you picked the right tale. I hope you enjoy it!
Thanks for letting me know you're into it! If you get to the end, I'd love to hear what you thought about the end.
Here for the Gryffie Review Tag!
I am obsessed. Let’s just start there, shall we? I devoured this first chapter and I am so freaking intrigued. I love AU stories like this.
Maybe I missed this, but how long after the war is this?
Anyway, I love Tonks in this story. I love how observant she is at the coffee shop. That was a cool scene, where she’s watching all the people around her and she knows everyone’s mannerisms and she can sense when things are different. There were a lot of cool details there and it really brought the story to life for me. I also like how calm she was when talking with Bill. Obviously we know that she’s very comfortable with werewolves because of Remus, but Bill doesn’t know that. It makes for a cool dynamic.
The backstory of the matching marks was really cool, too. That it was caused by a cursed Rune and apparently it means that Tonks and Bill share a piece of soul? That’s cool. I also like how it glows a certain color based on how the other person is feeling/doing. I’m wondering if Bill did something to pass it on to Tonks or if it just happened because they are soulmates. Are they going to be able to get rid of it? I really don’t think that Bill will just vanish.
This is such a unique and fascinating story! I will definitely be back for more!
Yeah, you missed it. It's a year after the war, round about. Remus died in the war, and Tonks has been dealing with that for about a year.
I'm glad you found Tonks to be a cool character. I thought she'd be fun to write, and she was! She'd be a competent Auror too, and would have enough background to handle someone with a problem like Bill, so I thought I'd play with that for a while. Also, the SoulmateAU situation, with the marks that were supposed to warn someone if the other person was in danger, coupled with the 'coffee shop where someone has a strange drink order' were difficult to imagine together. Like, who would be in danger in a coffee shop??
I'm glad you liked the backstories. I felt it was important to get to all of that. Each Soulmate trope was different for each of these challenge entries. Most of them were pretty long stories too, so I guess we all explored things for the same reasons.
Thanks for reading! I hope you come back for more!