Hey Pix! I'm here (rather late) with you requested review!
Ooh so we have a bit of an AU here? I'm sad we lost Remus but I'm enjoying the concept you're setting up. I've never considered Bill and Tonks as a pairing before, and now that I am I'm like... why isn't it a thing?! They'd be perfect together! Imagine all the adventures and mischief they'd get into! The idea of the marks is really intriguing too. How did they come around, I wonder?
I find it really sweet that Tonks already has a bit of a connection (literal link notwithstanding) with Bill from the coffee shop, the way she comes in when he does because something about him soothes her, and she likes listening to his voice. Recieving both Tonks' and Bill's POVs was really great too, I loved getting to know them better for the purpose of this story, and what they thought about the marks, and there is so much interesting things happening, like Bill becoming a werewolf, and Hunters at large.
This was a pretty solid start to a fic! It's amazing so far, I love it, and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
Very satisfying. :) Consumed in one sitting. Well edited, excellent action and dialogue. Great job!
Aww, thanks! I tried to make it clean and inviting, as fics go!
I'm glad you liked the action, since, well... there was so much of it. LOL.
Thanks so much for reading and leaving me a note! Your comments made my day!
Oooooh. Dun duN DUNNNN! I am enjoying this a lot! Great work. Love that they haven't fallen immediately all gooey eyed in lurve (yet).
Ah. Haha! It's not THAT kind of story, so if you're more into 'intrigue' than romance, you picked the right tale. I hope you enjoy it!
Thanks for letting me know you're into it! If you get to the end, I'd love to hear what you thought about the end.
Here for the Gryffie Review Tag!
I am obsessed. Let’s just start there, shall we? I devoured this first chapter and I am so freaking intrigued. I love AU stories like this.
Maybe I missed this, but how long after the war is this?
Anyway, I love Tonks in this story. I love how observant she is at the coffee shop. That was a cool scene, where she’s watching all the people around her and she knows everyone’s mannerisms and she can sense when things are different. There were a lot of cool details there and it really brought the story to life for me. I also like how calm she was when talking with Bill. Obviously we know that she’s very comfortable with werewolves because of Remus, but Bill doesn’t know that. It makes for a cool dynamic.
The backstory of the matching marks was really cool, too. That it was caused by a cursed Rune and apparently it means that Tonks and Bill share a piece of soul? That’s cool. I also like how it glows a certain color based on how the other person is feeling/doing. I’m wondering if Bill did something to pass it on to Tonks or if it just happened because they are soulmates. Are they going to be able to get rid of it? I really don’t think that Bill will just vanish.
This is such a unique and fascinating story! I will definitely be back for more!
Yeah, you missed it. It's a year after the war, round about. Remus died in the war, and Tonks has been dealing with that for about a year.
I'm glad you found Tonks to be a cool character. I thought she'd be fun to write, and she was! She'd be a competent Auror too, and would have enough background to handle someone with a problem like Bill, so I thought I'd play with that for a while. Also, the SoulmateAU situation, with the marks that were supposed to warn someone if the other person was in danger, coupled with the 'coffee shop where someone has a strange drink order' were difficult to imagine together. Like, who would be in danger in a coffee shop??
I'm glad you liked the backstories. I felt it was important to get to all of that. Each Soulmate trope was different for each of these challenge entries. Most of them were pretty long stories too, so I guess we all explored things for the same reasons.
Thanks for reading! I hope you come back for more!
Hey, there, Pix! Here with your requested review! (I will probably get to chapter two as well, but not tonight, I need sleep...)
This was great! Really! I loved the concept and the way you played with the soulmate prompt. It's such an interesting start to your story!
Poor Tonks and Bill, both losing their spouses in such tragic ways... especially Bill... accidentally killing the person you love must be the most horrible thing that can happen to someone... and it's so scary, too, the way he just transforms at random moments and lose all control on himself... it's even worse than regular lycanthropy, because with it you know at least when and how it is happening and take the proper measures... but I'm digressing, as usual...
Tonks was just great, I loved her fierceness! I think you really captured her character so well! And I loved how she was just "Hey, man, try to get it back together, I have no time for your nonsense" with Bill. Guess she has experience with self-deprecating people, after being married to Remus...
I loved all the details you included, Bill's special coffee, the Hunters, the way their marks appeared and the way they work... I also think you did a wonderful job with the description, you have such a lovely writing style, I'm a tiny bit envious, to be honest... :P
I'm sure there is so much more that I should mention... I'm too tired right now, though, so I guess I'll cut my review here...
Great start on this story! It's super interesting and so well developed so far, and I'll be back for more soon!
Lots of love,
Hi Chiara! *claps hands excitedly*
Yes, sleep is important. Please do that. And then come back when you can. I love hearing all about what you think of my stories!
Tonks and Bill did go through a lot over the last year. Losing someone is hard. Also, the way that his Lycanthropy is acting up is WAY scary.
Oh, good! I'm glad Tonks seems in character for you. That was one of my concerns, because I never know if the way I write the characters is the way that other people see them. And yeah, she'd be the one to deal with Bill and his issues. There were a lot of things I wanted to explore, once my muse got her teeth into the plot. I was able to wrestle the plot points down to a small story instead of a full-blown 'never gonna finish this in time' thing. It was written for a challenge afterall... and man, it was very challenging for me.
Thanks so much for all your words! You brightened my day!
Hope to see you back when you can get to it!
I'm here for gryffie tag! I've missed this story a couple of times but here I am now!
So this is quite different from stuff that I normally read but I've really enjoyed this. it's very obvious that this style/genre is a really strength for you because I'm so impressive to the detail and depth of your writing here. It is so rich and wonderful to read.
I loved the characterisation of Tonks in the first section, I thought you a really great job at getting into her head space there. You created this atmosphere of being hyper aware of the surroundings and all these little details about the 'stranger' in front. Tonks is often underrated as an Auror because people see her as clumsy etc. but here it makes perfect sense that she is an Auror and a good one. I've not read a story with Tonks being alive after the battle of hogwarts and I really feel for her as she lost Remus. I like how you've channelled that emotion for her into her obsession with finding the person who shares the same mark as her though.
I thought the change in POV really added to the interest of the piece. I was drawn into wanting to know more about this mystery person. I thought you use of the name 'Marcus' was clever because I'm wanting to know more about 'Marcus' and just trying to figure out who he is out he is connected to the story. I think you've created an interesting and unique backstory for your prompt for soulmates AU. I think you are in general a very creative writer and always do something different with your pieces.
I love him saying 'fate could kiss his furry backside', It just made me smile more than anything? I love a bit of sass in a character! you've got some really great one liners in this chapter. You've got some really amazing imagery especially around his transformation. I'm really interested to seeing where this story is going. Lastly, I'm LOVING the end and the reveal of his name if there is a reason to click 'next' its that! Great job with this!
- Abbi xo
Hi Abbi! I'm glad you're here too!
Really? That's... awesome of you to say that I have a 'strength'. I thought Tonks would be a fun character to play around with. Even though we see some of her weakness in HP, I knew she had to be competent, or they wouldn't have let her help with all the things she did. I wanted to show her strengths in this story, while still keeping her true to her canon self. So it's with great relief and happiness that you think she's still basically 'her'.
It always helps me to tell the story from two sides. I can't really get into the story if it's just one person telling it, not when there are two people so involved in what's going on. Also, the mystery aspect builds better when I tackle it from two sides. I guess I grew into writing stuff that way. It's fun! And yes, I do try to do different things with each story. I never want to write the same story twice. That'd be... redundant, I guess. :)
Haha, I'm glad you liked the snippets I gave to him. He's gone through a lot, so he'd have developed an attitude about himself and others, if only to survive it all. I'm so happy you're psyched up for the next chapter! I hope you come back and give it a chance.
Thanks for the great review!
So many twists! This was edge of my seat reading and I loved it all! Greyback being the mastermind behind the Hunters was a big OMG moment. Literal jaw dropping. The action scene was awesome and so well written! And then the end, I loved that last little scene of them walking. It just seems filled with so much hope. You do such a good job of building up and showing both Tonks and Bill's feelings all through out and showing how they struggled getting past their losses but then letting it lead to this soft, easy moment. Such a great story; I loved reading this!
And more of the mystery is revealed! It's so so good! I can't wait to read the end of this! Poor poor Bill, beating himself up for a year when he did nothing wrong! I'm so glad they were able to figure out what happened to Fleur.I think you wrote Bill's reaction to that so well! It was such an emotional moment and you handled it wonderfully.
The scene at Shell Cottage was awesome and super interesting. It was really cool to see them working together and have a chance to see them use their strengths alongside each other. I'm excited to see how this all plays out!
Yes, for something that's supposed to center around soulmates, this thing just wouldn't play that way. I love mysteries, so I guess that where my muse ran off to. Oh, but I'm relieved that you thought I pulled off that moment. Emotion Is Hard.
I wanted to show them working together so they could see each other's strengths. Shell cottage was a good way to get that going. I'm excited that you're excited!
Thanks for another great review $
Hi! I came from Gryffindor review tag. You've already updated 4 chapters, I think I can drop a review here. (The latter two chapters should be left for my story challenge. ;)
It's wonderful that Tonks was not dead after the battle at Hogwarts, it's sad Remus had gone though. But it was necessary for the soul mate fic, I accept it.
Since I read Kevin's the same themed one, I am getting to know what is the world, the soul mates. It seems that the scar, or the sign is needed in the fandom(?) . Should it be in the location, on the arm or the wrist on each future life partner? It's an interesting concept.
The system, when the one would die, then the other might follow the same path, it's very intriguing. It was good for Marcus there was Tonks to save him.
Ah, finally, you showed he was acquaintance of Bill, a curse breaker.(I imagined from the title from the start). It's so exciting that he lied, tried to be in disguise wearing a false name, Bill Weasley. I'm curious to know how Tonks will react to that.
I have expectation that this fic will be a sort of addictive story like Rabbit Hearts.
Tonks is a skilled Auror and knows about the symptoms of werewolves very well. Full of action and adventure!
On one level, this story failed because I felt like the soulmate story should include romance. Mine didnt. It only offered a promise of things to come. But on another level, I love what it turned I to, and I actually.like the pacing of it. So, I guess it's up to you to see how you like the rest of the story. I'm proud that I finished the whole thing before the deadline. So many of these soulmate fics turned out so long. I think the shortest one was 7000 words.
Thanks for reviewing! I can't wait to see what you think of the whole thing!
Oh my gosh, so much has happened! Poor Bill! I need to know this whole story, if this isn't the whole story, but oh my, poor guy! You've created such depth with him and Tonks and they're both such wonderful characters!
I think you''ve done a great job at starting to bring in information and explain things in this chapter and I can't wait to see where this all goes from here. I was so interested at the scene in the Department of Mysteries. I thought it was really well done and the explanations from the Unspeakables were great and I loved how you wrote Tonks and Bill's reactions. They seemed totally realistic for two people who have already loved and lost. I actually think you do a great job exploring both of their inner feelings kind of all through this chapter, with a great balance of their thoughts but also a lot of information and keeping the mystery going.
I'm super excited to read the rest of this and if I don't finish this all tonight, will definitely be back later this week!
Here for review tag! <3
You said you wanted a suggestion for a better title, but to be entirely honest with you, I think your title is loads better than anything I’d have come up with. (I’m very bad at titles. But your title is memorable and intriguing and sounds fairly cute at the end of the day, so I think you’re good!)
This entire one-shot was so thrilling omg, and the questions that it raised for me made it more exciting while I was reading. At the beginning I was wondering about the logistics of the soulmark, and so I was so curious that I had to read on haha. And Tonks’s characterization was so good! I loved it.
I also really liked that entire scene when Bill was turning into a human-wolf hybrid. His condition is really interesting, and I actually really loved the explanation you put into his state. It felt like a nice little piece of worldbuilding in a world we’re all super familiar with, and it made the story even more real and fleshed out.
Their chemistry is so good. So, so good. And Bill/Tonks is a pairing that I never would’ve considered, and I adore rarepairs with every fiber of my being, so of course I loved this. When they were talking with each other after escaping the Hunters (a really cool name, btw) I was smiling because Tonks was acting exactly like Tonks and I loved it.
My main question at the end of the story is, did Bill and Tonks not know of the other? They were at Hogwarts together, weren’t they? So the stranger-ness of it all confused me a little bit.
But other than that, it was a great story! Good luck in the challenge <3
This is actually the first chapter of four that I'm waiting to clear the queue, so I hope you stick around to read the whole thing. :)
I'm so happy you thought the title was appropriate. It does resonate with the full story too, but sometimes I look at it and can only think that it's a bit corny. Haha! I'm also really excited that you thought the chemistry was good too. The rest of the story builds on that. They don't have this immediate thing going on, and the story doesn't lend itself to a mushy thing, but I think I did okay putting it together.
Anyway, to answer your question, in this story, they don't know each other, only by name in passing. It's explained later about their backgrounds and how that works out.
Thanks so much for the review!
Here for Gryffie Review Tag! I'm so intrigued by this already! This is such an interesting world you've created. The way you started to build up before revealing more information about the marks was awesome. I thought you did a great job with explaining how their marks work and I loved how Tonks was the one to tell Bill all about it. I'm super excited to see where they go from here, because they both obviously have issues of their own to work through but there's so much here with the Hunters and Bill's lycanthropy, and Tonks' work but also now that they've discovered this.
I think you've done a great job creating a mysterious situation and building suspense while moving the story along to get it started! Such a good start and I can't wait to see what's next!
Thanks for coming out to see my new story! I'm excited about the other chapters coming up, so I hope you come back for the rest of it too. Yes, they both have some heavy issues to deal with. I hope I explored them enough for everything to make sense.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Here while you do an awesome job of advancing the plot, you also do an awesome job of showing each character "in their element". They're made more than their trauma and more than the bond their Mark represents. Tonks, rightly, still has to deal with superiors in the Auror Office and Bill still has to deal with the goblins of Gringotts. I enjoyed that you included the details about their jobs. We go through the drudgery of their work and yes, it lets them have more opportunity to get their inner monologue, but also makes them easier to identify with for a reader which I think is really crucial - perhaps even more crucial in an AU because sometimes people feel like they can't connect with a different version of a character - even where their core values and such are really pretty much the same.
And then of course we have the reveal of the Love Chamber. What exactly is going on there is still left as a bit of a mystery, but I think it's funny that behind the door that basically nobody can get in per canon, it's something of a simple, sterile working environment.
Excited for the whole tale to go up!
So obviously I get to cheat a little stopping by, BUT...I think your story deserves some reviews and I am here to provide!
One of the things I really liked about the beginning of this story was that while the Mark plays a central role in binding these two characters together (both overall based on the challenge and within the chapter), it never feels like it's the end-all-be-all. It's a device that spurs their initial connection, yes. Something that drives them together. But the plot is so much more. Plus you give us action and mystery that isn't centered around the fact that the characters are soulmates which is really refreshing for a soulmate fic!
I also love the balance you strike between all the mechanical elements. Dialogue is important, but doesn't run amok and you have critical inner monologues from both characters feathered into very well-written descriptions. Though this bit is more of a personal preference, I really like that you do it without "showy" prose. It helps the experiences feel very real rather than like you're just reading a story.
I'm sure I will stop by as the other chapters go up, but I'm glad these got through because HPFT needs this story!
Hi there! My first review! YAY!!!
Yeah, there's that device coming into play. It's inevitable, and yes, I only made it part of the story, instead of the 'big deal'. Not sure if that was a wise decision, but my muse doesn't play fair most of the time. I've come to accept that I'm just going to get what I get, and then roll with it when the story ideas start to come together. Ah, but you know what? Up until this challenge, I'd never actually read a Soulmate fic, so... you know... I was running on blind ignorance and just wrote a story with the prompts. Haha. Live and learn.
Ah well. 'Showy prose' has its place, but it tends to drag the action down, and for action/adventure, you can't really let that stuff get too bogged down in how nice a day it was or what people are wearing, unless the weather is part of the action, or the outfit is crucial to the movement of the scene. I know people like their fashion statements, but Tonks doesn't give a flying fig about that sort of stuff, so I figured, hey, why should I? :P
Thanks so much for your words!