It's so sad that Regulus is being driven by the compulsive need to be loyal to his family, especially in the wake of Sirius' abandonment/disownment because all of that weight that Sirius fought against was so suddenly thrust onto his shoulders. I feel SO BAD that he feels the need to commit such self-sacrifice in what he wants out of life because of the way he was raised and what he was taught to be right and his sense of loyalty.
Oh DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN, Regulus all up in there with the clapbacks. He's extra saucy when it comes to Sirius (can't say I blame him, when you look at things from Regulus' perspective).
And it's so difficult to read Regulus speaking to Kreacher because he knows -- he knows -- he's going to die and he's doing it for the greater good. Also, I loved the bit about the flame getting out of control ... it was a brilliant analogy. The memories in between, of course, make it even more sad.
I love the way you subtly approached his sexuality in the beginning, eventually leading up to the bit about Thorfinn. He couldn't even be with the person he wanted...he couldn't even be with the same gender of the person he wanted, for crying out loud.
And the bit where he hallucinated Sirius dying because of what he was doing absolutely shattered my heart! Even when he places all the blame on his brother, he still loves him, and that is why his final thoughts are of his brother.
"Now go to sleep"
THAT'S IT. :( I'm dead.
You've killed me.
This is so sad!
And so well done!
I love it!
Rumpels! You make me blush with your kind reviews! I am so glad you liked the story. This headcanon of Regulus being gay (and the complications that arise from it) has been in my head for over a year now and so I was super happy to finally let it loose. Of course, this story wasn't a happy story but you know what I mean. I'm glad you liked the insults, I swear Alexis helped me with it a little though that was back when I first started writing. But yes while Regulus loves his brother dearly there was no love lost between them while in school to a certain degree. (I've always felt that before school both boys were super close.)
As for not blaming Regulus, my aim was to make him a very sympathetic character because that is honestly what he is. Both brothers had issues and did certain things wrong and I honestly can't blame either of them but at the same time neither is 100% innocent of things either. There is soo much to Regulus and Sirius that isn't covered here but the canon is so clear in my head. (It all just didn't fit here.)
When it comes to the memories and you being dead... that was admittedly my goal. I was kind of aiming for that sweet spot, to be honest, that is why I ended it where I did, but it honestly summed up the relationship between the brother's Black an how deep that care for one another really goes despite the fighting that they had. Also with little Reg going to sleep as the end came for adult Regs was too much of a good parallel that I had to use it. (It took me forever to figure out the sweet scene though I went through 3-4 attempts before landing on what is there now. I'm so glad it works cause it, and the scene regarding Thorfin were the last bits I wrote and I worried about their place and pacing with the rest of the story.)
Overall, I'm glad it all plays and that you enjoyed the read!