Reviews For unforgivable


Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 12 Dec 2018 01:32 AM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hi, Branwen. I came back to your Astoria. I had interest in your Astoria after I stopped by the other story in which she seemed to have got injury during the war. As I started writing war themed srories, I feel I need to learn a lot from the other authors. Especially, I got curious how people from the winner countries would write based on the wars. Actually, they have never experienced being a loser, the situation that their own countries were extremely attacked and be forced to pay compensation after it.

 

You captured the people around the protagonist very well. From Astoria's POV, we can know how the coming battle drove them away to decide to which side to stand on. We find it interesting to know who is really brave and who is coward or cunning in the hustle and bustle of the castle. And I felt interesting that I found you in Astoria's characteristics again. She is half Ravenclaw and half Gryffindor just like you.

 

You mentioned about their brother. I wonder if you created him. I remembered you wrote about him somewhere in the other stories. I want to know about him more. On the contrary, Daphne Greengrass is a typical Slytherin. Her inquiry against Astoria and her magic sent me a chill. I am eager to know what fate would wait for Astoria after being cursed 'Imperio' by her own sister.

 

K

 

 

 

 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 13 Aug 2018 09:46 PM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hey there!

 

I’m dropping by to leave you a review for Quodpot Match 2 because this story has a war tag! 

 

I’be always liked the idea of Astoria as a Slytherdor. I can’t imagine an entire house as bad, so it seems fitting that some students like Astoria would stay behind.

 

Her actions definitely show why the Sorting Hat almost put her in Gryffindor. She’s definitely being brave, although perhaps a bit foolish too since she doesn’t really have a concrete plan.

 

I like the bit about her having an older brother who would fight on the good side. Again, I like that it shows some balance with the characters.

 

I was bummed that Daphne cane after her at the end. I think maybe Daphne thinks she’s protecting her family by making Astoria fight with the Death Eaters. But it’s pretty sad that she imperios her own sister.

 

I really enjoyed this missing moment. I’ll have to check out more of your Astoria stories later.

 

Good work!

 

~Kaitlin



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 14 Jan 2018 10:03 AM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hey, Branwen! I'm here for our swap! :)

Oh, I had no idea you had SO MANY Greengrass stories... I didn't know which one to pick... but I'm happy I picked this one (I would probably be saying the same if I had picked any other, actually...)

Oh, Astoria... always so set in her beliefs... I mean, I love her, but she has a bit of a tendency to see things either black or white, doesn't she? Still, I guess I could use a bit of her confidence... anyway...

I can totally imagine her wanting to stay and fight, and thinking of the people who hurried to leave as cowards. I love that you showed us a bit of her inner struggle, what she's supposed to do (leave) versus what she wants to do (fight). And I also think it is interesting that a part of her will to stay is to take the distance from a family with dubious allegiances. Clearly her relationship with both her siblings (and probably her parents, too, even if you don't tell us precisely what their views were) have a huge impact on the person she is and the choices she makes. I love your characterization, it's so multifaceted and interesting.

And of course, she had to do it her way. :P Very smart, separating from the group of evacuating students and hiding, and then coming back and join the fight when everyone would be too busy to notice... Well, I guess she is a Ravenclaw for a reason. :P

But then Daphne surprises her... that was such an intense moment! You can feel the disagreement between them, but at the same time the siblings' bond that is still there. The fact that Astoria is so reluctant to attack her sister, even if she feels in danger, simply because she doesn't want to hurt her, is so powerful and relatable. Also, the idea that Daphne used to look up at Brendon at some point in her life is so interesting. There is such a complex weaving of emotions and relationships among the three siblings and you managed to write it so well and in such a short space and I think that's incredibly impressive!

And Daphne's betrayal... oh, my... that's so horrible and hurtful... the idea that she was ready to use an Unforgivable Curse against her own sister... so, so awful, but I guess it makes sense for the person she is at this point.

This was such a great piece! I really loved it! Thank you so much for the swap!

Lots of love,

Chiara



Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 09:07 PM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

Hello dear!

Ahhh, so much wonderful Greengrass interaction! I feel like I'm a part of this family right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Your characterization of the siblings is amazing, and I'm so attached to all of them as characters. They're all just so compelling!

I know you mentioned in a PM that you were sorry this was still in third person. I assume that's because you're switching it to first person eventually? I'll definitely reread when you do if you'd like! This is fabulous as is, though.

The only error I saw (though, maybe it was just Daphne not caring enough to remember) is when the sisters are talking and Daphnes is justifying forcing Astoria to leave the battle. And she says, "You were sixteen," but that's not accurate according to the other stories (which say that Astoria was fifteen).

I loved the depth you gave Astoria's entire sixth year in this story, despite it being skimmed over so quickly. The detail about the window being kept open crushed me. And the emptiness of their dormitory. And her fear of the dungeons. It was all so well placed to show everything Astoria has gone through. I loved that.

I also just love the emotions you were able to put into all of Astoria's actions, even running from Daphne and showing up at Brendon's. She's so broken right now, but I can tell that she's strong and she'll move forward in time.

This was really a wonderful story for showing the dynamic between the three siblings (and even somewhat their parents). I liked it a lot.

On to more stories!

Best,
Emily



Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 09 Dec 2017 07:07 PM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hi Branwen!

What a dynamite beginning to this series! I don't even know your Astoria yet, and I literally love her. The line that made me Team Astoria, 100%, was: "Life wasn’t about valid excuses for cowardice and inaction; it was about doing your best to make a difference." I was basically cheering.

So, let's start there: characterization. I loved your Astoria unconditionally. I loved that she's a Ravenclaw. I loved that she has this strong moral compass. I love that her brother is a Slytherin who she looks up to. I love that she stayed. I honestly love just the fact that people stayed, especially underage kids (and all the Hufflepuffs over 17! because we are AWESOME.). So that was a fantastic start. Her voice is wonderful too, and I'm excited to get to explore her world.

Daphne is such an enigma here. I've never read stories with her, let alone stories that cast her as an antagonist to Astoria. So I'm really interested to see where you go with that.

Their interaction was so tense and realistic. I've been at odds with people before, and I've felt these exact feelings facing them down, alone. Not knowing what to say or do, your thoughts racing. I get all of that. So that was awesome.

The only minute CC I might add is to engage the setting more. What's the mood like around Astoria? Are the crowded hallways loud? Can she hear the battle beginning outside? Do people seem afraid? Etc. etc.

All-in-all, though, this was an awesome entrance into this world, and I can't wait to read more. Great job!

Best,
Emily



Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 10:51 AM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

I opened this random story in your universe, assuming that I probably wouldn’t understand the context, but I’m happy that it ties in with canon events, so once again I get this universe piece by piece..

 

I have to say, I always get really annoyed at Hogwarts students for judging others for not staying to fight in the battle. Lik - just let the children live! It should not be animperative that teenagerss fight, and they should not have to deal with shame for their choice to not endanger their lives in a battle they are not equipped for.

 

At the same time, I am kind of proud of Astoria for sticking to her convictions, which are obviously strong. But also. She’s fifteen. Get out.

 

Oh, snap! That did not end the way I expected!

 

I’m sure there’s context elsewhere in the series of what happens under that imperio curse. I sure hope it’s just that she makes Astoria leave the castle, but dark curses don’t scream use-to-take-care-of-sister

 

Astoria’s reaction when she’s facing a wand pointed at her and doesn’t know what to do is Exactly! Why! She! Shouldn’t! Be! In! A! Battle!

 

Sam.



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 10:31 AM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

Yay, I finally get to meet Brendon! 

 

He is such an interesting character. As you've stated, he's really not a typical Slytherin—and that's interesting because his sisters seem to exemplify the other houses? Like Astoria is the quintessential Ravenclaw the way that we really should be seen, motivated primarily by curiosity, and Daphne is the quintessential Slytherin (ehh well, okay, this one's less clear; she's the quintessential /evil/ Slytherin). I appreciate Brendon's protectiveness—I think that he's motivated primarily by loyalty, which I think is an underappreciated trait of Slytherins and I'm glad that this is his main trait (as far as I can tell). 

 

The bit at the beginning about how going back to Hogwarts was really hard for Astoria was honestly a little heartbreaking and I am so sad for her. I think you described it wonderfully though and so truely, really capturing the pain and the memories associated with certain places in Hogwarts. I really liked the bit about Celeste being the sort of Ravenclaw who only cares about her books (gives us Ravenclaws a bad name!). I like that Astoria is a brave Ravenclaw. Honestly, the two protagonists (that's what I consider Astoria and Brendon) somehow manage to stay completely purely true to their houses and yet, in doing that, blend other qualities of other houses (Astoria is definitely a Gryffindor-Ravenclaw hybrid and I'd consider Brendon to be a Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw hybrid) and that's such an interesting reflection on belonging to a House and how most people can't fit perfectly into one house over another.

 

OK, I'm rambling, but I also have to say that I really loved the last scene with Brendon and Astoria because it gave me some idea of perhaps a different sort of unforgivable? I think Astoria has been abandoned a little by both of her elder siblings (which is so sad), and Brendon's abandonment, to me, is more unforgivable than Daphne's because Astoria clearly looks up to Brendon and relies on him to protect her—and he failed to do that. I just love that level of nuance in their relationship.

 

Seriously in love with these characters ugh. So excited to read more; well done, as always! <3 



Name: forever_dreaming (Signed) · Date: 03 Dec 2017 09:04 AM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Ohmygod this was heartwrenching. 

 

OK, first off, I love Astoria. Your interpretation of her makes her so likable, and as always, I could hear her voice so perfectly, so clearly. I admire that she is guided by her curiosity; I think that's a very appropriate trait for a Ravenclaw and something that makes me relate to her and like her all the more. I also appreciated her logical moral compass; I think that's also a really Ravenclaw trait, letting her logic guide her rather than her emotions, and her logic naturally leads her to fighting on the side of the Order. I think the first scene where Celeste is running away but Astoria refuses to leave sort of drives that home. I also admire how brave that is of Astoria, even if she thinks that's the natural response. She's pretty amazing.

 

I'm really curious about Brendon! This is the first Greengrass story of yours that I've read (I think) so I don't know much about Daphne, Astoria, and Brendon's interactions—I'm definitely interested in learning more about Brendon and his motivations and why he gets along with Astoria more tha Daphne (even though, as far as I can tell, that might be because Daphne seems to me like a coward). I also had to comment on how well you established the difference between Daphne and Astoria, especially in their primary motivations. Daphne is self-concerned, a very Slytherin-trait. I think that Astoria literally said at some point in this fic that Daphne would do whatever necessary to get what she wanted. Astoria, on the other hand, is motivated by something more befitting of a Ravenclaw like her: curiosity. The way that that was shown was really neat IMO :) 

 

Wonderful, as always! <3



Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 25 Jun 2017 02:13 AM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

 

Hey Branwen!

This is such an interesting and chilling moment in time that you’ve chosen to write about here. I was fascinated by Astoria’s desire to remain in the Great Hall of Hogwarts, just as the battle was about to kick off. I initially wondered whether it was curiosity rather than the will to fight (for an as yet unknown side) which spurred her decision. I love that you’ve made her a Ravenclaw! So little (nothing?) is known about her character in canon, so I was quite intrigued to see how you had written her here.

She had reasons to leave the hall, and nobody would have thought negatively of her for it. She wasn’t “of age” for starters, but also none of the students were obliged to stay and fight. I guess peer pressure would have factored with older students, though, but that she felt it wasn’t right to leave really highlights her determination and courage here. I felt quite sad that she intoned no-one would care about her? Perhaps that is her young age showing, something which was then reinforced by her innocent, child-like comparison of the battle with the action/ending of a book?

 

 

 

Daphne arrived on the scene. Another person we know very little about. The conflict between the sisters here raised several questions. Had the Greengrasses settled on a side as a family? Did they have strong feelings either way, or were they simply lying low and hoping not to get involved at all? When Daphne casts the Imperius curse on Astoria, was it partly out of love and a desire to protect her younger sister, or was she purely motivated by the fact that two of her siblings were opposing her? The ending made my blood run cold. I loved the ambiguity leading up to this point; it wasn’t wholly clear until Daphne cast “Imperio” which side Brendon and Astoria were on. I wonder whether Daphne recruited Astoria to fight, or whether she sent her out of the school.

Ooh, this was so good! I’m really glad of the opportunity to have read it!

Brax X



Name: MuggleMaybe (Signed) · Date: 17 Jun 2017 10:21 PM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

OMG

 

BRANWEN. THIS IS SO GOOD. I can totally see why it won the challenge. Seriously, I loved it.

 

Astoria is a fascinating character because we know almost nothing about her other than her eventual husband and son, so it's really a free for all. But also, not? If we assume that Draco and Astoria are a good match, here has to be a reason for that, and I'm endlessly fascinated by how different writers navigate that.

 

And you did it perfectly! It makes me sad that someone as young as Daphne would sopport Voldemort, even when her family does not. Although, I'm not sure about their parents. That would be interesting to know. I suspect, because Astoria is so suprised by her sister's allegiance, that their parents are not blood purists. 

 

I'm really proud of Astoria, too. I think because so many of the characters are Gryffindors, and because Harry is brave almost to the point of insanity, it's easy to forget how truly frightening and dangerous the war was for everyone, and how much courage it would have taken to stay. She shows real courage by turning back - all the more so because she could, as she says, leave and have the excuse of her age to comfort her.

 

Although, I do think some of her courage is naivety. I mean: "leaving now would be like closing a book just as you got to the best part"

 

War is not the best part of anything, and battle is not the best part of war, I daresay. I admire her decision to go back, but part of me wishes I could stop her and protect her from being scarred and traumatized by this.

 

I'm a hypocrite, though, because I'm also very angry with Daphne for using Imperio on her. Imperio is never okay.

 

I think, however, that it makes her very well matched to Draco to have the experience of being coerced by family into doing things she believed to be wrong. HE certainly had that experience, even if it was using the imperius curse. 

 

This is awesome. I'm so glad I got to read it. I think I'm gonna go rec it right now, in fact!

 

xoxo Renee



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 17 Jun 2017 04:33 PM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hey Branwen,

I love the concept for this one-shot, Astoria is a character with such a lot of scope to explore. I love how you wrote her, I thought your characterisation was really strong. I thought the beginning was really well thought out how and her inner conflict was really clear between the two things. I forget that Astoria would have been underage back then so it was even more of a battle. 
you have some really cracking imagery in here and I just loved some of the lines that you used, my favourite has to be 'leaving now would be like closing a book just as you got to the best part'. I just thought that line was really good at explaining her feelings. I like how you linked it back to books with them being ravenclaws. I also enjoyed that you made her a ravenclaw too! I don't have any head-canon for Astoria really but I think her being a ravenclaw is the first piece for me!

again, your dialogue is awesome. There is so much tension in the last scene between the two sisters. The scene was really electric with emotion, the ending is kinda dark too! poor Astoria! what's going to happen next though?! I kinda like endings that make you think on you know? leave your readers wanting more is such a skill as a writer!  I think you've left that scene a bit open ended as it's not quite clear who's on what side. I would assume that Astoria is with Harry?! 

- Abbi xo    



Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 05 May 2017 06:09 PM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hello, I'm here for BvB! :)

 

Omg, why did you have to end it like this?! *cries in despair* I honestly hate Daphne at the moment and she's supposed to be one of my more tolerated characters (mostly because she does nothing) I really liked your characterisation for Astoria, though. You did a great depiction of the inner conflict in her, with hints that she didn't fit into Slytherin or really share the stereotypical purebloods' view on the war. 

 

It was an interesting concept you had here. I've always wondered how many Slytherins walked out of the Great Hall unwillingly because they were scared of being judged/outcast, and I found it fascinating to read from the point of view of someone like that. Also the point on what Celeste thought of the war made me curious. I'd never really thought about anyone simply finding it inconvenient, so this made me see some things in a new light.

 

Anyway, I've really enjoyed this! Maybe Astoria will be able to fight the Imperius curse like Harry...or not. But all in all, brilliant job :D



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 08:17 AM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

Hi Branwen!

 

Ah, I'm so glad that I got to read this story!  I'm more and more impressed with every story of yours that I read since you've just built up such a wonderfully thought-out, detailed universe, and the back stories that I'm getting to discover to all the different characters that you write about.

 

I really love your version of Astoria!  It was great to see her after the Battle, and the effects that the Battle and the year under the Carrows has had on her and the people around her.  I loved the thought you put into this, about the way that the war would have affected all of the people at Hogwarts.  It's quite sad to think that the outcome was worth the price paid, even when that means so many people had to lose their lives for it - but that's always the way with war, isn't it?  

 

I think people so often forget that the Slytherins were affected by the war, as well, and that not all of them would have come out of it intact.  It's interesting and sad to hear about the girls in Astoria's dormitory who won't be back - and then the fact that she can't even really feel like friends with Celeste either.

 

Then Daphne - I was wondering with the last story whether or not she was actually a supporter of the Dark Lord and now it seems more likely that she was.  I'd like to think that she was only protecting Astoria but it doesn't seem true, and she was bitterly savage towards Astoria in this story.  

 

I'm so glad that Astoria has someone else there for her, as well!  Ah, so Brendon is Johanna's dad!  I'm really happy that he can take her in and look after her, because she deserves to have someone, and it's great to see that.

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 07:47 AM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hi Branwen!

 

Wow, this was a really chilling story!  I don't know why I expected it to be any different, given that it was about the start of the battle of Hogwarts, but this piece gripped me right from the beginning and then kept hold of me until the very end.  And that twist!

 

I really love Astoria's character, and I always find it intriguing to see different authors' portrayals of her, because they seem to vary so wildly; some people depict her as someone who fights against the Carrows and the Death Eaters through the last year at Hogwarts, and others who show her as a Death Eater sympathiser.  

 

This was a really fascinating portrayal, though - I loved your characterisation of Astoria in this story, and the way that she was so conflicted and unsure about what to do when the fight was breaking out.  She probably doesn't realise it, but it's actually incredibly brave of her to want to stay behind and fight - on the right side - when she's underage and nobody at all would blame her for not remaining.

 

Then the ending - I really wasn't expecting it, since we got such a different glimpse of Daphne than what I was expecting.  I don't know if she actually believes in the Death Eaters' cause, or if she just doesn't think that Harry's side can win and she wants to do what she can to protect her sister.  It was fascinating to see her make that decision to curse Astoria and prevent her from fighting!

 

Sian :)



Name: dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2017 06:47 AM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)
The windows had been bolted shut the year before to stop students from receiving unmonitored mail in the night or escaping to wreak havoc on the grounds, and now the still air gave her nightmares.
Hello! Here for some extra reviews. I hope you enjoyed all of our reviews for CTF! For me it's a mini victory getting to read and review as many stories of yours that I want because they are so enjoyable. I picked out the above line because wow. I know all involved (or around the war) would have some sort of PTSD. It's understandable because war isn't an easy thing but I forget the 'little' things. I say 'little' because something that you used to do everyday without a second thought can bring up a painful reminder. The window. The dungeons. Etc. There's no sense of normalcy. That's just sad. 
“Astoria!” There was that smile again -
Maybe because I feel so intone with Astoria at the moment and am sucking in all of her pain but Daphne, come on, really? Uh. She just suddenly annoyed me out of nowhere. The smile. It's making my skin crawl. 
That’s why I had to save you from yourself, Tori - you like to play at being the hero, but really, you’re just a little girl playing dress up with your mother’s clothes.” 
GET A LIFE DAPHNE, YOU AWFUL WITCH. Who does that to their sister? I mean really that's horrible! Why would you, how could you...I can't even form complete sentences here. I feel so much rage I want to just smack her. I would never be able to forgive her. That isn't a small thing and she's acting like what she did was no big deal. She just wanted to control her. That's it! Did she seriously care about her well being? Uh. I highly doubt that. Yeah, I might not know their relationship and full backstory but Daphne would be dead to me if she was my sister. I wouldn't even have small talk with her. I'd just tell people Daphne, who's that? I have no recollection of having a sister. 
No! Why is this story over already? I want more. Your little snippets leave me in suspense. That's not very nice you know. :P I guess as much as I hate Daphne I wouldn't get her sent to Azkaban either but you know what I would do--once I'm a better (or at least can keep it together long enough) I'd really hold it over her head if I ever ran into her because I'm a petty person. 
I wish we could have learned more about her brother. I felt like their interaction was so short. I suppose it works because what else was there to say? She found him, he comforted her and that was that. She wasn't going to divulge anything to him. I hope one day she does just because it would mean she accepts the fact that she wasn't weak. Imperius is hard. Her brother might be able to break free of it and Harry Potter and whoever but she was completely caught off guard and not in the right state of mind. And Harry might be the savior of the Wizarding World but even he was weak at one point. It look lessons and team effort to get him where he needed to be. Daphne is just a rude cow. 


Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 25 Mar 2017 08:22 PM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

Hello lovely,

 

I was just thinking that you should win all awards ever for your writing. I've only had the chance to read a few chapters here and there, but everything I've read has been outstanding.

 

I really like this line:

"Because if everyone was being honest - and many people weren’t - the losses, though significant, were well-worth the peace." I like it because I think a lot of people don't talk about that relief when conflict is over, no matter the cost. There's something so reassuring about being able to finally have some form of peace and just ending the chaos.

 

I think this is a really good story to represent PTSD. I always thought that I didn't like how at the end of DH we never had that realistic representation of all not being well. There had to be aftershocks from the war. ESPECIALLY those students that were terrorized by the Carrows.

 

I like this conflict with Celeste because I think it would be difficult to be friends with anyone who had such different fundamental values. I do think though that perhaps Celeste didn't have the wrong idea. I don't think her actions were necessarily cowardly so much as selfish. I think self preseveration can be valuable too. But I don't blame Astoria for blaming Celeste.

 

I think you said that this story had a Brendon line somewhere in it and I'm going to go look and see if it's posted if so because I think he's going to be a character I'd fall in love with.

 

I totally hate Daphne. I liked her sort of in the last story because I thought maybe she had good intentions. Like using an unforgivable to save your family can't really be all that bad. And if she had defended her actions in a way that wasn't pure taunting and belittling, I think I could have continued to believe that. Instead she was kind of super awful to Astoria.

 

I like that you balance this totally toxic relationship of Astoria and Daphne with the wonderful, loving, no-questions-asked kind of relationship with her brother. He's very charming. Her descriptions of him sound like mine of my own brother so that probably makes me even more fond of him!

 

I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!



Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 06 Mar 2017 11:25 PM · For: tearing through the pages and the ink

Hello lovely! :D

 

Okay I know that this is under 1000 words, but I'm really excited for it and the following related stories. It sounds so good and enticing and delicious.

 

I like Astoria being in Ravenclaw. It makes her curious-to-a-fault characterization even more delightful. She needs to know the truth behind the ending, whatever the ending might be.

 

I like having Celeste here because she's a serious contrast of Ravenclaw personality. She's an interesting example of how war defines who we are at our core. She's detached and frighted and even though she loved her friend, she wasn't willing to sacrifice herself for Astoria. She let Astoria make her own decision. Astoria comes across as like a GryffinClaw? Ravendor? I don't know the terminology. Everyone else is fleeing but she just seems ready.

 

I assume that she's on Harry's side of the whole conflict only because she's Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin, she comments about helping people, and she doesn't like the duneons, but the truth of the matter is that you've left it a bit ambiguous (which I like). I can't tell if Daphne is on the "good side" or if Astoria is or even Brendon. It's like a Greengrass spectrum. I'm making the assumption, based on things like "He's on the wrong side" and to me the wrong side would be Voldemort as well as the comment that her brother would be coming to fight, but in reality he could be coming to fight for either side of the war.

 

Okay I might be intepreting the imperius curse wrong because you give use clues like dark gleams in Daphne's eyes and the fear Astoria has of her, but if she's using the curse to send her to safety then I think that regardless of what side Daphne would side with, she's being a good sister. I mean I know it's an unforgivable and all, but if she's casting it to make her sister leave the fight it's only because she loves her sister enough to want her to live at any cost. Even if she's going to resent her later. If this is truly what's happening, this is the first case I've ever read in the history of fanfiction that I've thought the curse was acceptable. That's remarkable.

 

IF HOWEVER, she's casting it to force her to fight for the side opposite of what she wants I don't approve of her actions as much.

 

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. WHICH SIDE DID SHE PICK? WHERE IS THE NEXT STORY? LET ME READ ON!



Author's Response:

Thank you so, so much, Paula!

 

I'm so glad you liked the way I showed the different sides of Ravenclaw - and yes, Astoria is definitely a Ravendor. In my sorting hat chats sorting, she's very much a Gryffindor primary (i.e., why she does things) - Right is Right because of course it is. Astoria's moral compass isn't really based around relationships, it's based around her inner voice telling her what's right and what isn't. (As is her brother's.) She's all Ravenclaw secondary (i.e., how she does things), though - she's ready because her faith in herself revolves around what she's learned and what she knows.

 

I'm also really glad that this came off as so unclear, because that's definitely what I was going for - you know now that Astoria and Brendon are squarely on the good side, but I didn't want it to be clear in the moment. And, for all that Astoria hates Daphne for it and Daphne's definitely a jerk later on, there absolutely was a sense of trying to save her sister in the moment. She's not afraid that Astoria-the-fifth-year could do so much damage to Voldemort's side, which she prefers but is fairly ambivalent about - she thinks that Astoria-the-fifth-year will get herself killed. It's a tough thing and there aren't really meant to be easy answers.

 

Thank you so much!!



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 02 Nov 2016 12:35 PM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

Hi Branwen! I'm here for your Review Hot Seat!!

It didn’t make the echoes of her footsteps and the squeak of the metal buckle on her bag as she walked down to the nearly-empty Potions dungeon any less unsettling -- aah! I love this detail - commonplace noises like that often do seem eerie when there's no one else around. When I'm home alone and it's dark, the clock ticking really freaks me out.

Wow, the image of post-war Hogwarts is really bleak, with people being dead or injured/tortured or having some aspect of their previous friendship broken because of the war. Bleak, but so believable. I can't imagine Hogwarts was a happy place for a long time after the war.

I really like how you've characterized Astoria in this, especially in comparison with her siblings. Brendon sounds like a really good guy. I also noticed how Astoria compares herself unfavorably to both of her siblings - Brendon for his courage, Daphne for her looks, and I feel like this has always been an issue for her and is even more pronounced after the war when so many other facets of her life are in disarray.

That scene between Astoria and Daphne was so sad. One the one hand, I can kind of understand where Daphne was coming from, in her own way, trying to get her sister out and to safety because she was only a kid. But I'm more on Astoria's side in this. The Imperius curse is just... not okay. At all. I can't believe Daphne used it on her own sister, even if to get her to safety. It gave Astoria no say in her own part in the battle, which Astoria clearly wanted to take part in, in order to 'do the right thing', as she says. I think I wouldn't be as irritated with Daphne had she not tried to just act better than Astoria in this scene here. If she'd apologized, or actually felt bad about it, maybe I'd feel more sympathy for her. But no, I feel sorry for Astoria.

Astoria is in such a tough situation at the end, too - her sister could get sent to Azkaban for what she did, but Astoria would have to confess that she left the battle and is worried about people seeing her as a coward. And she can't send her own sister to prison. What a situation to deal with. I can't blame her for just showing up uninvited and not having anything to say. Poor girl. I'm glad Brendon was willing to take her in and not ask questions - he really is a good person.

Great story.



Author's Response:

Thank you so, so much - for both the wonderful review, and for transferring it over!

 

I'm so happy that this worked for you - both the eerie darkness of Hogwarts and the seriousness of what Daphne did. They definitely have a screwed up family dynamic - Daphne and Brendon are clearly not even remotely on the same page, and Daphne's definitely got a little bit of the middle child thing going on. (Which is not to excuse what she did, of course! She also had complicated reasons for that - some understandable, as you said, but she crossed a pretty serious line and isn't even bothering to acknowledge it.) I'm definitely going to be revisiting the Greengrass dynamic in future fics, especially since one of my favorite OCs (and one of Teddy's closest friends) is Brendon's daughter Johanna.

 

Thank you again!



Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 02 Nov 2016 11:42 AM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

Hi, Branwen! I'm migrating some of my reviews from other instances of your stories.

The picture started to get more clear in this installment. It sounds like Daphne did curse Astoria to get her out of the castle, but the intent doesn't seem entirely altruistic. And then it appears that her older brother freed her from the curse and allowed her to return to the castle with him. I like this chap Brendon. He reads like a good egg.

Blue curtains and hangings... I take it Astoria is not a Slytherin in your world? Sounds like she lives in Ravenclaw Tower. The small detail about the windows being locked under the Carrows was a nice touch. It set the mood really well. All of the little details about life under the Carrows were good additions.

You've painted a great picture of Astoria's struggles. I feel like there's more to be filled in, unless the mere fact that Daphne cursed her was enough to inflict such emotional wounds. The way she reacted to Daphne's attempt to control her suggests that it did leave some serious psychological scars.

I really like what you're doing with this story. I hope there are a lot more subplots and layers to the story to explore, because it's really neat. Please keep up the good work!

-Dan



Name: Margaret (Signed) · Date: 02 Nov 2016 06:49 AM · For: ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

I like the way you mention students other than the significant ones dying or suffering severely as a result of the war. A Muggleborn being killed seems highly probable as does a student ending up in St. Mungo's unlikely to recover. The way the Carrows treated students seems likely to have long term effects. In a way, it seems to me it might be worst than the actual war because there was no escape. The Hogwarts students faced the Carrows not just during the battle itself but every day for a full school year, never knowing when they would be tortured or forced to torture somebody else.

I also really like the way you show the tensions the war created between family members and how they wouldn't be easily resolved.

Hmm, Daphne is being pretty cruel. Preventing her sister from taking part in the battle at 15 would make sense, but her comments about how she is just trying to be their brother and how she should have been able to break out of the Imperius Curse just seem spiteful.

From what we've heard about Brendon, he doesn't seem the sort of person to not have th inclination to host his sister when she is distraught.



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