Reviews For A Place Not Far From Here


Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 07 Feb 2020 12:10 AM · For: The Heir of Antioch

Hello, Abby!! I am here for your requested review, which is so embarrassingly late, I’m so sorry! Since I haven’t read this in a while, I apologize in advance if I repeat ideas from previous reviews, or also somehow entirely contradict myself! Fingers crossed it won’t happen, but my mind is full of gaping holes recently. <3

 

SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED IN THIS CHAPTER. (My usual response to reading one of your chapters, haha.) Somehow, I don’t think it’s ever occurred to me that Amelia could be the new owner of the Elder Wand! I’m just marveling at the fact that the Elder Wand has lived to see yet another owner—why didn’t Harry destroy it, like he promised he would at the end of The Deathly Hallows (if I remember correctly)? I’ve always had some issues with the way the Elder Wand functions and the way that J.K. Rowling presented it; for instance, if disarming someone is a legitimate method to gain ownership of the wand, then every casual use of expelliarmus could theoretically be an Elder Wand-stealing spell, right? Like, what if Harry had just been practicing spellwork with James or something? Anyway, that’s an aside that Amelia’s ownership reminded me of. :P I wonder if she had intentionally disarmed Harry for that specific purpose… Does she have a larger plan in mind regarding James? Is she looking ahead to when she might have to duel James again? Though, she did duel Harry like immediately after James disappeared, so she wouldn’t have had a ton of time to think up that plan. :P

 

I’m really glad that Albus and Lily believe her! It somehow feels like their opinions are more important than others’, because of their closeness with James. These two children are truly their father’s offspring, haha; the way that they go eagerly seeking to meet with their father and to get involved with everything happening is actually rather charming. :P Even if it did get them all tangled up with Ritter.

 

WHO, BY THE WAY, IS A MASSIVE BUTTHEAD. I can’t remember what I used to think of him, but his name makes me think like some form of phlegmy spit. The attitude that he exhibited in this chapter was truly nasty, and I found myself despising him more and more and more by the end of this chapter. I can’t imagine being someone who would kill for the kind of power that Amelia currently wields—also, if she’s the owner of the wand, then she’s the closest that anyone since Harry Potter’s gotten to joining the three Deathly Hallows again, right?

 

Ritter made a huge sacrifice sending the Resurrection Stone to Amelia omg, but it clearly paid off. Ugh it’s so annoying when the villains actually have brains hahaha, but it makes the story so much more exciting.

 

NO ABERFORTH. NOO. He’s a survivor of so many wars, but unfortunately he wasn’t able to survive this one. I’m so sad about his death though omg. :(

 

This was such an exciting chapter! <3

 

Eva



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 04:56 PM · For: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin

Hi, Abby! I think this is one of my favourite chapters, from the interrogation to Amelia's blank mind, there was so much packed into it and I thought it was great!

 

That Quidditch match was intense! Poor James - though his teammates where right tools - I mean, surely they couldn't possibly think she'd be happy James is in the Hospital Wing and Slytherin won the game! So that's the Potters seeing Amelia in an angry state after her blow up about House discrimination, so I take it Harry is quite used to seeing Amelia in this sort of way.

 

Your description of Amelia performing Occlumency was beautiful, honestly. It was really great to read how someone actually does it, because Snape wasn't exactly forthcoming with his explanations on how to do it. But who was trying to get into Amelia's mind - was it professor Hopkins? It could be after the last chapter when it was discovered he was a plant at Hogwarts. I'm not sure if something happened to her because you said that she didn't feel anything or even look like she had any emotion on her face at all, which seems really significan. Maybe it could do with her having so much going on and is finding it really hard to process. I wouldn't blame her for completely blanking out.

 

Amelia's meeting with Harry and Hermione was really interesting. The dynamic between the three of them was fantastic and you write dialogue so well. I love getting into Amelia's head and this was such a great chapter to do that. I'm glad she told them both about that she was just trying to get to James and find out what he was doing there, but that the aurors ruined it. I loved how you wrote Harry here, he still kept his professional head on while interviewing her as no matter how well he knows her, she's still a prisoner. Though it did make him wobble a little when she told him he was there of his own accord.

 

I just can't work it all out and what's happened with the wand? I take it it's still at Hogwarts or her mother and the rest of them would surely be gloating about it. But James knows where it is, so why hasn't he tried to get it? Ahhh so many questions!

 

I really loved this chapter!

 

Tasha xx



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 01:12 PM · For: The Room of Ashes

I honestly can't believe they got the wand. It's pretty spectacular for a couple of teenagers, but then James is the son of Harry Potter so something about this kind of stuff must be in his DNA. I still feel the Room of Ashes is a terrible place to hide the wand, it just really doesn't seem secure, I mean everyone and their pet toad knows about the room now, so I think this is really going to be a disaster.

 

So the Mirror of Erised was super interesting, especially with James's desires changing, though it seems like he's a frequent visitor over the years. I knew Amelia just wanted normal and she didn't even realise it and that must be really strange for her. Though the bit with James is interesting, maybe it means that he's already began distancing himself? It makes me so sad. Though them finally getting some alone time was really sweet, again I think you've really written their relationship so well, I love them. That final paragraph was pretty heartbreaking to be honest. If she's already losing him does that mean he already has one foot out and into The Cause? Oh my word if he has!

 

Back in Azkaban I thought her mantra of I'm going to die here was really interesting. It's like the Dementors are gone, but their presence is still felt in everywhere, it's awful. So Harry Potter to the rescue again, though he's fuming, of course. Amelia is so stubborn even with Harry. I loved the Umbridge sending her regards comment, she's so sassy even when she's in this situation. I really want her to tell him the truth though because I can't stand the thought of her rotting in Azkaban just because she's trying to do the right thing. Also, I wonder if anyone knows about what they did with the wand in the present timeline. That's going to blow everything apart I think!

 

Anyway, I'm off to read the next chapter and honestly, I'm completely obsessed with this!

 

Tasha xxx



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 12:47 PM · For: The Heir of Cadmus

Amelia's thoughts about her using the wand were really interesting. I like how you said that the room slanted for her, which makes me think she might actually consider using it and against her mother too! However, she's fiercely desperate to protect Harry and James so that makes me think she would do the right thing...though I don't think there's anything right about breaking into a tomb no matter how good their intentions are. 

 

Still I loved how Amelia managed to open the tomb and I totally agree with what you wrote that the Elder Wand was not meant to be hidden. It was only a matter of time when it would be taken. Though I much rather it be a couple of kids with seemingly good intentions than someone from The Cause blasting through all the protective spells and taking it in such a crude way. However, I'm not sure the Room of Requirement - or Ashes as it's known as now - is the best place to hide such a valuable object, especially when there are a lot of people after it. I mean look at what happened with Voldemort's horcrux hidden in there and he didn't think anyone was after it!

 

Anyway, in the - quite frankly terrifying - current timeline, YOU BROUGHT BACK UMBRIDGE! Good to see she's still a complete and utter moron and I had no doubt she'd be bullying everyone in Azkaban trying to be top dog. Ugh. I can't believe Amelia's in Azkaban - because of James too, it's not like she can really even blame her disaster of a mother. James MUST have known she'd do anything to save him and protect Harry as she kept on about it when they were at Hogwarts, it was her driving force for everything she did back then, so I'm surprised he's putting her in danger like this.

 

Ohhh I love this story so much, like you know! It's such a great mystery and you have woven such a clever plot over two different timelines, I have no idea how you do it!

 

Tasha xx



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 12:17 PM · For: A Dangerous Creature

I like to start with the past timeline as it's so lovely and normal, but I have got to talk about the here and now, because oh my gosh...I just can't work James out at all so I have no idea what his end game is here. He was frowning at her while she was being arrested which makes me think he's genuinely interested in why she's there, but still attacked the aurors, though thankfully he sent a rather harmless hex rather than anything too dangerous, but these NeoWalds are there to kill, I was terrified for her! 

 

I can't believe she's in Azkaban, it's crazy, she was just trying to help James. However, no matter how much shit she's in, she still has a badass attitude. However, it's a pick your battles thing here and I don't think she's doing herself any favours by talking back. It was a really sad chapter really because the aurors treated her like she was scum, almost like she wasn't human. I don't know how she's going to get out of this because I doubt she's going to tell those aurors that she was only there to find James...

 

In the past timeline, I felt so sorry for Amelia when she heard her friends talking about her behind her back, like she can't help who her family are. Though Ben's reaction was pretty bad - it just goes to show The Cause is really starting to spread and gain followers.

 

I thought Amelia telling James that she couldn't put him or his family in danger because of what her mother was up to with the NewWalds really interesting. She clearly wants to protect them all and that's why she didn't tell James what she knew. I thought this section was great and the dialogue between the two of them was brilliant. But please don't tell me they actually went through with breaking into Dumbledore's tomb? I don't know if I could handle that on top of all the James stuff.

 

You're killing me here, Abby!!



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 11:24 AM · For: The Escape

Hi Abby I'm back again!

 

So I'm going to start with the events that happen in the past timeline where things are all rather lovely and normal - well normal-ish anyway. James and Amelia are seriously clever to be working this all out, like who and why they would want the wand, it’s like Voldemort all over again, but probably a bit worse because there’s so many people involved all over the world by the sounds of it. It’s terrifying. Though it is a bit odd, and maybe quite Slytherin, that Amelia isn't revealing all she knows to James and I'm not too sure what to make of that to be honest!

 

Anyway, I love that James has so much faith in his dad and the Ministry, but I’m guessing this could cloud his judgement in the future, even though it is really lovely of him. I think it also might cause more issues when it comes to the current timeline too, so I’m looking forward to seeing how all that plays out. I felt a bit sorry for Amelia when she was watching James and his dad throw snowballs at each other and then Ginny join in and she realised this could be how a normal family interact, which she has never had before. She seems to crave - and need - normality but probably without outwardly realising it. I really think someone needs to give her a big hug, bless her.

 

Right so let’s get to the crazy bits. OH MY FREAKING WORD!! What the hell is going on with James? He seems like he’s totally in with them, following orders and attacking the Ministry, which could - and probably does - include some of his family members, what if he ends up hurting them? This is such a different James to the snowball fight and having all the faith in his dad. Then he was so weird with Amelia talking about answers and her finding out things, which makes me think he knows that she’s NOT part of the Cause and is just there to find him, which could cause her to get really hurt.

 

Oh the ending! What a cliffhanger!! She's not going to find out ANYTHING now! Honestly, I need to know more, you are so good at only giving a little bit at a time, no matter how much it frustrates me! Off to read the next!

 

Tasha xx



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 11:17 AM · For: In This Moment

So in the past timeline James and Amelia are getting even closer…I love how you write their relationship as it really does seem such a natural teenage love story and I really adore them as a couple, which makes me SO SAD that there has been a disaster and James is off doing whatever he’s doing gahhh. I'll be asking this a million times, but WHAT HAPPENED? I need to know everything!

 

Anyway, so getting almost caught doing this you shouldn’t with your girlfriend on the sofa when the parents walk in is such a cringe moment! And probably something that many people have been in the same situation before with, so that really made me laugh. And Ginny obviously knew what they were up to which makes it all the more funny - not for James and Amelia though, obviously as they've got to now look them all in the face - ha!

 

Cassius Vaisey seriously creeps me out - why has he been hanging around her so often? The polyjuice potion, the patting her down - ugh by the way - it was good that Sinead was there at least to have someone she knows and sort of likes a little bit. I mean, she doesn’t trust her mother as far as she can throw her, obviously, not that I would either, especially when she said to Cassius that Amelia would basically be in serious trouble if they didn’t like her story. What kind of mother does that?

 

So, now I’ve got all that other stuff out of the way, JAMES IS THERE!!! Finally we get to see him up close in the action and that means I’ll hopefully get answers soon, please tell me I’ll get answers because I’m going crazy not knowing how and why lovely James has somehow turned into a madman keen on destroying everything! I am so shocked he’s there and obviously he doesn’t seem to be being kept captive…what is going on??? I hope Amelia gets a chance to grill him soon, though it is scary she hasn't got a wand on her.

 

Gahh - off to read the next chapter!

 

Tasha xx



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 08:02 AM · For: The Headline

Hi Abby! Here for CMDC round 2!


The funny thing about that article is that, on the one hand, the statement expressing doubt over Harry’s and Hermione’s ability or willingness to prosecute the case fairly, is sad and a little enraging because -- you know -- these people seem to be going through enough. But on the other hand, it’s a legit observation of a conflict of interest. That’s something funny I always think about. The wizarding world is so small and insular that conflicts of interest just happen like it’s nothing (Barty Crouch presiding over his own son’s trial, anyone?) And that issue seems to just be magnified once we get to the next generation where Hermione is Minister, one brother in law (Harry) is high ranking in Magical Law Enforcement, not to mention another brother in law (Percy) runs the Department of Transportation. The Ministry of Magic is just a Weasley syndicate at this point.


Rita Skeeter! I wonder at what point Hermione stopped blackmailing her and she resumed her career of making everyone’s lives miserable again. Oh to be a fly on Harry Potter’s wall when he reads articles written by Rita about his family’s tragedy.


“All that frowning will cause early aging.” Haha! That’s a pretty great Rita line.


Oh, this scene with Teddy is absolutely delightful, from his little prank imitating James, to “nice to meet the person who has inspired James to read.”


relished in seeing his freckles move with his expressions

^Loved that phrase!


This scene with the Hallows symbol and the runes painted on the wall is very intriguing. Alone the symbol is not harmful, so I’m curious to find out whether there was something else there that Amelia did not see, or why the adults’ reactions to the symbol were so strong and concerned.


Melanie

 



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2020 07:34 AM · For: Exchanges of Words

Hi Abby! Here for CMDC round 2!


Poor Amelia, this whole first scene is so dismaying. It’s awful to hear yourself reviewed as a person and discover the reviews aren’t good. Sadly, all this kind of chatter -- “What’s he doing with her?” and so forth -- is very realistic. But James seems to be happy as a clam with her, and that makes me happy! The scene where they discuss what their relationship status is, is adorably awkward and sweet. James seems wholesome; you can practically feel his nervousness and worry when he realizes he considered Amelia his girlfriend and she may not have been on the same page. But I’m glad they are on the same page! However....knowing wat we know now about James’s little appearance with the NeoGrindelwalds last chapter...now everything he does, I’m suspicious of! Should I be? I kind of just want to love him!


I remain engaged and invested in the aftermath of what happened in Diagon Alley and I can’t stand not knowing what Ginny said to Harry and Hermione that made them react in that manner! I hate to think whatever is happening is threaten to rip Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione apart. Poor Harry, having to work the scene when this hits to close to home. Frankly every time Harry appears in this story my heart is broken, and that’s without even knowing yet what all happened in the past. But even the glimpses of him we get so far through Amelia, he seems like a man trying desperately to hold it together. I want a happy ending for Harry just as much as I want for Amelia!


I worry very much for Amelia. She’s carrying some terrible burden. It seems like it could easily consume her. All throughout the story I’ve gotten a melancholy feeling from her that never seems to lift. I appreciated this nurturing act by Susan in the last scene. I see your author’s note, saying you hope you did justice to Amelia’s feelings of guilt, and I think you have. It seems to permeate each moment of this story. There’s a layer of regret and longing over everything. I hope we get answers soon!


Melanie

 



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 02 Feb 2020 07:59 PM · For: The Lupin-Weasley Wedding

Hi Abby!

 

I’m back because you know how much I love this story and can’t stay away! So I freaking adored everything about this chapter and really learned a lot about past and present Amelia. I liked that past Amelia was quite relaxed but still fishing for as much information as possible, and present Amelia is right in the thick of it, almost like one step ahead.

 

I’m happy that Teddy and Victoire are getting married, I always love them two together and it was sweet that she is wearing Fleur's dress too. Albus and Scorpius getting smashed was hilarious and they are definitely going to regret it in the morning, but it's a wedding so I guess it's to be expected!

 

I always find it quite difficult to get canon characters right - especially the ones who have very distinctive voices, so I thought you wrote Luna so perfectly. She is the same quirky Luna, but she definitely seems more mature and I liked that she talked to Amelia about her grandfather too.

 

JIMBO! Oh was cackling for ages over that. Families, eh? The whole section with James introducing Amelia to his family was brilliant, especially with George and Charlie who are clearly still jokers all these years later: “This is Amelia Fortescue, my girlfriend who actually does exist.”

 

You wrote Hagrid perfectly with his accent, I could really hear his voice so that was awesome. I thought it was very sneaky of Amelia to try and get Hagrid to spill about the aftermath of the battle and all about Dumbledore's tomb - very much like Harry, Ron and Hermione did whenever they wanted to know something they shouldn’t! And Amelia’s worked it out that the Elder Wand is buried with Dumbledore and that's what they're after! I wonder when she'll tell James about what she knows.

 

Present day Amelia seems to be really getting in deep - though she seems shaky and not at all confident about what she’s getting into. Her odd behaviour at Gaius’s apartment must have really freaked them both out and he clearly isn't keen on her. It was also really interesting that Amelia could no longer produce a Patronus, seemingly since James disappeared.

 

Anyway, that ending!! She’s finally reunited with her mother. I have no idea what’s to come for her, but I know it isn’t going to be good at all.

 

I’m off to get more answers with the next chapter!

 

Tasha x




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 27 Jan 2020 08:52 AM · For: The Heir of Antioch

 

Hey Abby,

 

I’m here to drop off a review for you for the Center of Magical Disease Control - Round 1! 

 

I definitely agree with her decision not to speak to anyone besides Harry. Only he will really understand and appreciate the magnitude of the thing.

 

The only question I have is in the way she tracks the wands progression. She says Grindelwald, Dumbledore, Snape, Voldemort, to Harry. In reality it went Grindelwald, Dumbledore, Draco, Harry. Is it just not common knowledge about Draco trying to kill Dumbledore? I mean it doesn’t affect the outcome either way because either way the wand ends up with Harry. I was just curious why the change?

 

So now Amelia is the master of the Elder wand, but without possession of the elder wand. Surely, Vaisey would’ve been able to piece together that it’s she who controls it now. I think it’s really stupid if Amelia not to tell Harry that she’s moved the wand. It’s at huge risk of falling into the hands of the cause and her stubbornness is going to get them all into trouble again.

 

I always had a feeling that Ritter was the bad guy. He seemed sketchy from the get go.

 

I liked that you gave Aberforth a somewhat of a hero’s arch. He’s often written as a bit more jaded, selfish, and as a hermit of sorts, but here you show a compassionate side of him. I like it.

 

I’m bummed that this is the last chapter for now! I can’t wait to see how this story wraps up in the next few chapters. Good work!

 

Let me know when you next update.

 

~Kaitlin

 

 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 27 Jan 2020 08:00 AM · For: The Funeral

 

Hey Abby,

 

I’m here to drop off a review for you for the Center of Magical Disease Control - Round 1! 

 

I get why Professor MCGonagall is concerned about Amelia attending her father’s funeral. From what we know of him in this story, he was abusive, manipulative, and an all around bad person. He had next to no relationship with her and in fact, the last time she saw him, he’d attacked her friends. I’m frankly a bit perplexed at why she feels any obligation to him too. I can only conclude that she’s flat out lying. 

 

Ah. The spitting on his grave bit seems so much more like Amelia. That was the answer I’d been expecting from her. I’m glad she at least told James the truth. 

 

I’m starting to understand why everyone was mad at Amelia for Farstead. Literally, from the moment they stepped into the chapel, they all knew something was wrong. The fact that the room is swarming with potentially cursed muggles who clearly didn’t know her father should be one massive red flag. If she’d really felt it necessary to spit on his grave, after speaking to Janice she could’ve instantly walked over to the casket, spit into it, and then left. Instead, she put everyone she should care about in danger with her stubbornness. In fact, I feel like her desire to see James also keeps her there stubbornly putting everyone else in danger.

 

See this is what I find frustrating about her. She has this complex about how she’s being treated unfairly, but she makes childish decisions that put literally everyone else in danger and for what? For some guy who she barely knew and who assaulted her and her friends the one time she’d met him. It’s so clear that this is all a trap and I hope she doesn’t lose anyone she cares about because of it.

 

Why do I get the feeling that Amelia closing the casket is going to start something? 

 

Yep. Sure enough. I feel like everyone in the room or at least the magical folk knew that was coming. I get that In regards to Harry, Amelia was trying to play hero once she realized what it was all really about, but I maintain that she probably made things worse. Harry has survived worse than Vaisey and with a squad of Aurors I feel pretty comfortable with his odds of escape. 

 

What Amelia did successfully do though, I’m not sure if she realizes yet, is make herself the master of the Elder Wand. I wonder how long it’ll take the cause to figure that out.

 

She also handed them the perfect blackmail or threat. They have James and they can torture him. It’s the one thing that could break Harry. We know his history when the people he loves are in danger...and I feel like his son being held hostage could really unhinge him.

 

Off to the last chapter now!

 

~Kaitlin



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2020 03:53 AM · For: The Heir of Ignotus

Back for the CMDC review event round 1!


Wooo, the story, pacing, and action really ramps up in this chapter!! So many things to say.


I have liked the tension between Amelia and James over the past couple of chapters, the almost-kissing before and now the very slow-motion, hesitant, sexy build up to their kiss here under the Cloak (love that you did it that way, by the way). I love them together.


I have found myself a little confused over the past few chapters by James’s and Amelia’s respective knowledge and/or lack of knowledge over the Horcruxes, and this could be entirely because I missed something or lack reading comprehension, or perhaps like other important things in this story it’s something you are drawing out to tell us later. I found myself a bit confused at James agreeing with Amelia to try to find out more about the Hallows when...it seems he already knows a great deal about them? Like he knows the word “Hallows,” which is not contained in the Three Brothers story, and he knows the Elder Wand played an important role in his father’s fight against Voldemort. But he still acts like the Hallows are a mystery to him, when it seems like his dad has told him about them. I also was curious, if the Hallows are not public knowledge in these past scenes, how either of them concluded they must be linked to Death Eaters?


However, while I found myself wondering about this, I will say that with this last scene and reveal (and what a dramatic reveal it was!!!) it now seems to me that maybe James could have been play-acting all along? I am so eager to find out.


The last scene here is fantastic. I like how the action and chaos is written; I felt like I could see it playing like a movie scene in my mind. When someone yelled that it was James, I felt like I could just see every person on that street doing the dramatic double-take, and then I could so vividly see in my mind Harry desperately pushing his way forward to see (that actually made me so sad).


WHAT MADNESS IS GOING ON HERE? 


Loving it. <3


Melanie

 

(Ravenclaw)




Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2020 02:09 AM · For: Crushed

Back for the CMDC review event round 1!


I think you do such a good job of creating this atmosphere in Amelia’s home life, for some reason I just get the feeling that everyone’s walking on eggshells, and that’s in both the present tense and past tense - just sort of a perpetually gloomy feeling, and I’m sure a lot of that is because of Amelia’s somber narrative, but I also see some of it in how Susan and Michael are so concerned, to the point of exasperation, for Amelia. I did feel kind of bad for Amelia in the previous chapter where Susan asks her hasn’t she put them (the Potters, I take it?) through enough. I felt bad because it’s clearly something awful that has affected Amelia as well. Amelia comes off so well-intentioned, so it’s hard to see people being suspicious or outright hostile to her, and making me really eager to know what happened.


The scene here with her saying goodbye to her grandfather was so touching, it seems she has become accustomed to being able to call on him and receive his support and guidance.


We are not seeing a great many details about Harry yet, but so far I am really enjoying your characterization of him. Of course, it’s hard to know how much of his personality is the way it is because of his son’s “death,” but I like his calm, somber, and quietly authoritative demeanor.


I love towards the end where the group of Weasleys, of course, ignore Amelia’s commands! And I find myself so interested to know why James was so grim and what he knows about the Hallows.


Melanie

 

(Ravenclaw)




Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2020 01:10 AM · For: Ehwaz

Hey Abby! Here for the CMDC review event round 1!


I really enjoyed the idea of the game-like activity they play in Ancient Runes as a way to practice.


James continues to appear to be a charming goofball, and it seems very telling to me of something about Amelia’s (deeply private, perhaps?) personality that she describes herself feeling wary of him after their detention and after his gift. I am liking their slow build to friendship (?) and flirtation (?) though.


And yes, I did catch that little rune mistake you referenced! It was fun of you to throw that in there!


I have to say, sometimes stories where a lot of information is held back such that we don’t know what is going on in a pretty huge way, can be frustrating to read and keep interest in, because sometimes I think that can make the plot just impossible to follow if its not done well, but I really think you’re doing great with this. I keep feeling each chapter on tenterhooks wanting to know what is up here, and with each subsequent chapter we get a little morsel, a little payoff, but even more questions. But the way you do it is clean and easy to follow at least in terms of the narrative itself, even if the plot is shrouded in mystery.


I found myself so eager to see if Harry would see her and what that conversation would yield, and even though his appearance in this chapter is fleeting, the way his face darkens says so much. Amelia is pretty ballsy here to make this scene on her first day at work, although obviously it’s because it’s important.


Reading on!


Melanie

 

(Ravenclaw)




Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2020 12:53 AM · For: The Detention

Hey Abby! Here for the CMDC review event round 1!


Neville is written just like I would imagine him as a teacher, even when presiding over detention. I wonder if he recalls how much time some of his very good friends spent in detention back in the day!


Fun bit of magical detail in here about the arctic greenhouse, and also Neville’s fun collection of earmuffs (love that those were Luna’s!) -- and it was really great how you tied in those earmuffs at the end, and then wonderfully surprising when it turned out they were not, in fact, the same pair she’d worn in detention, but another pair entirely that James had bought her!!


I really enjoyed this whole interaction between James and Amelia, and more generally among the three of them in detention together. James strikes me as a goofy, likeable sort, and genuinely friendly and well-meaning. I loved the boggart discussion and Amelia’s quip about hers!


I found myself really proud of Amelia when she told James that she likes herself when she’s being an authoritative prefect, that she’s comfortable not having to change herself for his or anyone else’s approval.


Looping back to the earmuffs, this last scene of this chapter and the memory of James’s gift shows what an absolute sweetheart he is.


I really think you’re doing a great job utilizing both the past and present tense to flesh out Amelia’s relationship with James and the rest of the mystery.


Melanie

 

(Ravenclaw)




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2020 12:53 AM · For: The Search

Hey Abby,


 


I’m here to drop off a review for you for the Center of Magical Disease Control - Round 1! 


 


I’m glad that Amelia got away for awhile. I think school and James had gotten super toxic, so a break might be a positive chance to reset. I’m kind of frustrated that James reached out to her while she was gone. On one hand, I’m glad he’s feeling better and like he’s found a more reasonable place in his life, but I’m mad because I think it just drags Amelia back into the past. 


 


It’s also nice to see the Corners get a nice family vacation, even if it’s only a brief snippet in time. They’re such kind people. They really deserve it.


 


And now Lily has been dragged into this. My frustration towards Amelia continues to mount. It’s not okay to tell Harry Potter, the literal boy who saved the Wizarding world about the wand, but it is okay to tell his youngest daughter. She didn’t want to tell him because three people knowing was too many...but now she’s about to tell three more people (likely four because they’ll inevitably tell Rose.) The whole thing is so hypocritical. 


 


Ugh. This tenuous thing that Amelia and James are falling back into is not good. They are so toxic for each other and clearly here they’re really avoiding talking about the difficult things they really should be talking about. I get that they both still love each other. I mean they are each other’s first loves and what not, but sometimes the healthiest thing to do is let go. Clearly neither of them got that message. Sex is only going to make it more confusing.


 


I will give Amelia credit for a really clever hiding spot for her wand. Too bad James knows her so well that he can find it. It’s kind of pointless to have moved it and gone through all of this effort if it was easy enough for him to still get to.


 


Thank goodness for minor miracles. I’m so glad the two of them didn’t decide to try and get back together. They each really need that distance and to focus on their own lives independent of each other.


 


And now Lily and Albus have turned on Amelia. I can see why this would all be frustrating, but to be honest, why involve her in the first place if they really think she’s a bad guy? If they thought she was involved they’d expect her to be lying anyway. Why waste the time? 


 


Off to the next chapter now!


 


~Kaitlin


 


 



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 07:14 PM · For: The Witch's Trial

Hi Abby! I’m here for CMDC Round 1 :D

 

I love what you’ve done with Amelia between life and death here at the beginning of the chapter; and the way you’ve incorporated the veil in the death chamber to her potential crossing over. But I didn’t realize how very serious the curse was that she encountered in the previous chapter! Don’t touch the veil Amelia—listen to James and come back! But the imagery in this scene is some of the most vivid you’ve written yet in this story.

 

You’ve also done a great job with the specifics of the harm that the dark magic did to Amelia’s body. Ick! 

 

And now she has to meet Harry Potter? Not Amelia’s best day I guess.

 

I’m a little miffed that there was any question of Amelia getting in trouble when she is obviously innocent. But I guess they can’t be too careful. And she probably should have been more cautious about the rune translation. It’s in her character though that she would get swept up in a puzzle and try to figure it all out herself. 

 

I feel so bad for her that she now has to turn her mother in; and she also has to be worried about her mother retaliating. I hope that they will be able to keep her safe at Hogwarts. Creepy about the blood runes—and some great world-building!

 

Speaking of world-building, this creepy pub is awesome! The way that these neo-walds have taken up all the trappings of a muggle witch trial and are making it their own is really striking. It’s like they are thumbing their noses at the muggles and are embracing something that is harmful in their history—claiming it. But they’re also using it to test Amelia and see if she truly is a sympathizer. 

 

And how does she manage to stay so cool when they light her on fire?? Was she expecting that—because I sure wasn’t. How is she going to get out of this one?

 

I’m guessing that she as a good reason for putting herself in this position—does anybody know where she is? This is a serious cliff hanger in both timelines—because what does Harry want to talk to her about in the past?

 

Nice work!

 

Yours,

 

Noelle




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 08:27 AM · For: For the Greater Good

Hey Abby!

 

I'm back for another review for the CDMC- Round 1!

 

At this point I think it would be foolish for Amelia to keep trusting James. I think with his mood swings and his ideology getting more and more similar to the Neowalds, maybe she should consider hiding it elsewhere.

 

I am really curious about what Amelia is writing to Ollivander. I mean I get why she might be more interested in wandlore and what not, but I feel like she must be looking for something specific.

 

Yikes. I'm pretty mad that thus far, Amelia has been completely unwilling to get any adults involved, but now she's going to drag two underqualified children into this mess. I get that Albus and Scorpius are desperate and that she feels for them, but she really frustrates me to no end. She could've ignored the owl, pretended like she never got it. It wouldn't have been surprising since she's in Ministry custody. And now she's contemplating going to the school and dragging them further into it...yet she won't tell Harry himself what's going on.

 

The Neowald propaganda is worrisome. More worrisome is all of the kids who again think it sounds like the way to go without thought of all the problems it could potentially cause.

 

And here we go again with Amelia. She's back at Hogwarts and off to see if the wand is still there. Now, she's not only dragged Albus and Scorpius into it, but also Rose and Aberforth. It's just so odd to me that she trusts all these random people, but not the older people in her life who are trying to help her (Harry, Hermione, Michael, Susan, Hannah, Neville, etc.)

 

Her escape was pretty clever though. Decoy detonators. Brooms. Apparition. Very clever indeed.

 

I'll be back for another chapter soon!

 

~Kaitlin



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 06:55 AM · For: The Break Ins

Hey Abby!

 

I'm back for another review for the CDMC- Round 1!

 

Yeah, James is really having a pretty big downward spiral. It seems like he's definitely having a depressive episode. I guess maybe it's hard to realize the world isn't as idealistic as he viewed it. I am glad that Amelia went to him, but I think his improvement in mood won't last.

 

I am so frustrated by Amelia's treatment of Susan and Michael. They care about her so much and she just leaves them hanging constantly. I know it's her warped way of protecting them, but it's so messed up.

 

Looks like the fact that James and Amelia moved the wand did actually paid off, but here they go again being super secretive about it. I get what they mean about less people knowing being better, but I feel like it's a lot of burden to bear for them. I guess only time will tell really.

 

I love Susan. She's so no nonsense. She just goes in and gets what needs to be done done. Amelia does need to hear what she's saying and she desperately needs to be healed and fed.

 

I feel like the break between Amelia and James was a long time coming and to be frank, was necessary. He's in a pretty unhealthy place at this point and she needs to let him go and let him figure things out.

 

Well, it's inevitable now that Amelia is going to break out and try to see if James went for the Elder wand. It's unavoidable since she's the only person who knew it was there to begin with. I feel like this will also inevitably cause her more trouble and problems...but I suppose I didn't really expect her to stay put either.

 

I'll be back for another chapter soon!

 

~Kaitlin



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 05:44 AM · For: The Dilemma

Hey Abby!

 

I'm back for another review for the CDMC- Round 1!

 

Ooh. I love that Amelia had such a snappy retort for the Slytherins. I was amused even if James wasn't.

 

Victoria is really a better friend than Amelia deserves right now. Seriously, I'm not sure how anyone in her life is still willing to deal with her. I know she's pushing everyone away as a way to protect them, but still, it has to be infuriating. Imagine trying to take care of your friend and having her scare the living hell out of you.

 

This downswing in James' mood is really troubling. He seems really negative about everything. After a serious injury, depression is pretty common. (I say that from personal experience) But I do feel like he's being maybe a bit extreme about it all. The negative dreams sound almost a bit like PTSD nightmares. I hope he gets some help for them soon.

 

Again, I'm amazed by Victoria's generosity.

 

Oh James. He's definitely having an angsty teen moment right now. He sees the world in an entirely black and white way. Good vs evil so to speak. The problem is that reality exists in so many shades of grey and he's not really grasping the complexity. I can absolutely understand why he's horrified by the poor family in the alleyway. I've had that sort of experience myself where I've felt incredibly impotent and unable to resolve a situation to my own satisfaction. Having traveled extensively, I've seen lots of people living in situations that I wish I could've fixed. I've always tried to help to the best of my ability...and I see Teddy handing them some money and trying to find a shelter as his best attempt to help. But when you start dumping the idea of magical solutions into it....well, it could get dangerous really quickly. It's a pretty slippery slope into a very undesirable reality. Sorry this is a tangent and a bit rambly...but it kind of makes me think of this one Anthony Bourdain episode where he's in Haiti. He's at a local food stand and he's finished eating and there are all these starving people around staring at him. He's obviously rich and he offers to buy the food stand out of food so that the crowd of kids can be fed....but then it sort of spitballed and mutated. Starving adults came and started shoving kids and kids started fighting and soon there was a full scale riot which ended with police coming in and beating the crowds back. It was a well intentioned, but poorly thought out, impulsive action. Bourdain reflected on it later about how he was wildly unprepared to deal with it and how he  didn't really understand what would happen. He was just trying to be human. I sort of see James' action in this the same way. He feels horrible about what he's seen and he wants to fix it anyway he can, which is human and compassionate, but his unthought out plans potentially have consequences that I don't think he yet forsees.

 

I'm off to the next chapter now! This was a really deep one here for me.

 

~Kaitlin



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 04:42 AM · For: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin

Hey Abby!

 

I'm back for another review for the CDMC- Round 1!

 

Okay. I'm trying really hard to have some sympathy for Amelia. I really am, but I also feel like the whole situation is just slightly absurd. She sees the whole world as against her and simultaneously seems to think everything is also her responsibility. I get wanting answers about James and feeling like she has something to prove because of her family, but the way she's going about everything seems like such a cry for help...except that when people are trying to help her, she isn't willing to let them. I know she blames them for feeling trapped, but I feel like a lot of this could've been avoided if she didn't think she had to do everything alone in the first place.

 

I'm glad that Hermione came in to chat. I hope that her logical, cooler head might help extract a bit more info from Amelia. Definitely Harry's usage of the event at her father's funeral seemed to help. I also think maybe Hermione will also be able to help come up with a reasonable cover story for Amelia. Scary to hear that there's a Neowald at Hogwarts, but I'm glad to hear that they've caught him.

 

The Quidditch match was really well written. I thought you did a great job of capturing the action of it. It was pretty hard to read about James getting injured though...and then knowing how hostile everyone would be towards Amelia about it. Obviously, that's completely unfair. She isn't the one who hurt him nor did she order the Slytherin team to hurt him.

 

It's definitely concerning that someone was trying to read her mind. My guess is that it was the professor who they caught working for the Cause, but I suppose it could be anyone really. I mean, it's hard to know if there's only one infiltrator.

 

That last scene with Amelia was rather dramatic. I imagine Harry and Ginny would've settled his teammates down quickly had they continued to be mean to her. I doubt that Ginny really thought Amelia did anything to hurt him.

 

I'm off to the next chapter now! Good work!

 

~Kaitlin



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 04:01 AM · For: The Room of Ashes

Hey Abby!

 

I'm back for another review for the CDMC- Round 1!

 

Amelia and James managed to accomplish what they set off to do and I feel like that's pretty impressive for their age, but I still have a bad feeling about it. I mean, it doesn't really protect Harry in any way because people will still be after him to gain ownership of the wand. And without advertising that they've hidden it elsewhere, I feel like people will still be going after Harry for its location.

 

Ooh. Harry Potter to the rescue and it sounds like he's pissed off. I think he should be in fairness. The aurors acted like bumbling fools in their arrests and then they basically mildly tortured Amelia. They also purposefully misplaced his letter so they could treat her badly a little bit longer.

 

Aww. The scene in the Room of Requirements is really sweet. You can tell they're both nervous, but I'm glad they laugh their way through it together. Coming off the adrenaline rush of stealing the elder wand must've really put them in the mood.

 

I am so frustrated with Amelia and I'm not sure if I'm meant to be. She seems to have a hard time separating Harry from the actions of the other aurors and I think that's a bit unfair. He's clearly trying to help her and instead of allowing him to, she's goading him. Again, I know she thinks she knows better than everyone what's going on, but I feel like sometimes even the smartest, most resilient people need to trust others and allow them to help. I felt this same way when she was being awful to Susan. She just seems so incredibly toxic to everyone around her.

 

The ending feels very ominous. I mean we already know what direction James goes, but this little retrospective bit really makes it clear where it sort of started.

 

I'm off to the next chapter now! Good work!

 

~Kaitlin

 

 



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 03:37 AM · For: The Heir of Cadmus

Hey Abby!

 

I'm back for another review for the CDMC- Round 1!

 

Ugh. I feel like James and Amelia are definitely playing with fire in regards to the Elder Wand. I think even going in with the best intentions, the Elder Wand has a pretty corrupting force. I think Harry realized that and that's why he hid it away. I really hope they don't end up stealing it just to end up using it badly. It's interesting that they want to hide it in the room of requirements. I feel like quite a few people know about that room and worry it would be found somehow.

 

The scene in the lunch room just makes me hate Umbridge all the more. I sincerely did not know that was possible. She has got to be the worst, most vile character ever. You really managed to capture her character so perfectly. I'm glad that at least Amelia fought back. I think your description of the jail dynamic was so well done. And how infuriating that the guards are so complacent. I guess they really just want to see her abused.

 

It's heartbreaking to think of James and Amelia breaking into Dumbledore's tomb. I really wish they would've left it alone. I did really love the idea of how Amelia opened the tomb though. That seems very fitting of who Dumbledore was. Of course, he'd want there to be exceptions in there to protect Harry. I don't know how she was able to reach in and pull that wand out. I guess believing you're doing the right thing can be a very powerful motivator. I still think it's not going to end well for her.

 

I'm off to the next chapter now!

 

~Kaitlin



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2020 03:11 AM · For: A Dangerous Creature

Hey Abby,

 

 

 

I'm here to drop off a review for the Center For Magical Disease Control - Round 1!

 

 

 

First, let me apologize for straying away from this story for so long. I absolutely love it and I keep meaning to come back and finish reading the most recent chapters, but sadly life has not allowed me much free time lately. Anyway, I hope to remedy that now by gushing about your fabulous writing.

 

 

 

Oh no! Amelia got busted. I'm kind of nervous for what's going to happen to her. That auror, Daughtry, is being a huge jerk for no reason. I understand busting her, but throwing her into a bush of thorns and then kicking her several times when she tries to roll out of it is just excessive.

 

 

 

Yikes! That scene with the kids at the school is awful. It kind of reminds me of how Seamus was with Harry for a little bit. I have a feeling they'll get their comeuppance for it later. I guess I get them not associating with her if they really thought she was somehow a NeoWald, but I can't imagine going to a reporter and badmouthing her. What an awful thing to do.

 

 

 

The aurors who have arrested Amelia are awful. I get that they're upset because they think they're dealing with a serious criminal, but the way they're treating her is absurd. They're abusing power by taking her straight to Azkaban. I'm glad at least they didn't force veritaserum down her throat. I have to imagine that soon Harry will hear word of what happened and go to her.

 

 

 

I feel like I understand why Amelia wants to protect James and Harry, but I think it's sort of foolish for her to get in the way of all this. I kind of think she sees herself as maybe a little wiser than she might be. Kind of a normal thing for a young person I suppose. Either way, I feel like this will end badly. I think breaking into Dumbledore's tomb to steal the wand is not a great idea, although she does have a point that if she can figure it out, it's likely the Neowalds will too.

 

 

 

Ugh. That last scene in Azkaban sounds miserable. I hope Harry comes to her soon.

 

 

 

Excellent chapter. It really had me on the edge of my seat. Off to the next one now.

 

 

 

~Kaitlin



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