Reviews For A Place Not Far From Here


Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 07:35 AM · For: The Pendant

That wasn't what I was expecting either! Amelia's dad is...kind of a dick. I'm interested to find out, since her mom is the one involved in The Cause and carrying on this tradition and secret on the Fortescue side, whether her mom is the Fortescue or her dad?

 

So glad James is not dead, but I suppose he could still be in a pretty bad place!

 

Random observation:

My mind reeled with her words and her manipulative.

-- I think there is either a word or words missing at the end of that sentence or the word was supposed to be "manipulation" and there's a typo?

 

Amelia's outburst in class is completely understandable; sometimes you just break down. Too bad Prof Ritter doesn't seem the type to cotton on and explore the possibility that his usually well behaved student is going through a personal crisis leading her to act in that way. 

 

Amelia is sort of an enigma to me so far. I like her direct, unadorned speaking and narrative style, and she seems fairly to the point while also being a bit closed off personally - to other characters as well as the reader. Businesslike, I guess?

 

I am super eager to find out what happened to James, or even what the current story/understanding is among the characters as to what happened to James, if only because I'm thinking of how devasting this must all be to the Potter family. He's only, what, 16? And of course it has been a defining experience for Amelia.

 

Great job so far! I do love reading mystery, can't write it worth a damn, so I love it when others do!

 

Melanie



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 07:12 AM · For: The Jaguar

Ooh, what in the heck??

 

Ok, that was my reaction to the very end, so let's go back. I think it's so funny that Binns is still teaching, but upon further reflection I guess I'm not surprised? After all, he has the ultimate form of tenure. He does need to retire and can't die because...well.

 

I really like the tense interaction between Amelia and her mother. Has her mom not even bothered to write for five years?? I'm so intrigued as to what she's doing, if for no other reason than I want to know what's so important she doesn't ever contact her daughter.

 

I must read on now to find out what's going on here in the end if this chapter. Is it James? I like how we are starting out in this story with the understanding or belief that he is dead and still going back in time to learn more about their relationship and how Amelia came to be in this situation.

 

Melanie



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 13 Jan 2020 06:56 AM · For: The Final Hallow

Hey Abby! This is off to a mystifying start, and you do a really great job of giving just enough information to tantalize.

 

I like your use of the present tense and then past tense for flashbacks. Sometimes I find present tense can be difficult to digest but I think so far it's working well.

 

I always love seeing how authors will connect all these characters and families in the future, and how that impacts relationships in the next gen. I think it's realistic that the wizarding world continues to be a fairly small, insular community, even as they drift further away from blood purity and mix with muggles more - but especially for all of these people who were involved in the second wizarding war together. So I like how Amelia knows who James is, by virtue of her family being friends with friends of his family, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're automatically close as kids.

 

I'm super interested to see what's going on with the Hallows and how Amelia is involved! I don't think I've ever read a fic before about someone trying to mess with the Hallows in the next gen. 

 

We've only had a little taste of these characters in this chapter but I look forward to learning more about them!

 

Melanie



Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 30 Dec 2019 10:34 PM · For: The Heir of Antioch

hi abby! here for holiday wishlists, and because it’s about time i stopped by to catch up on this story!

 

there’s so many more answers in this chapter - i was right in my last review, that amelia’s the master of the elder wand now! it makes a lot of sense that now, knowing that, she’s suddenly a massive target for the neowalds.

 

the interrogation with harry was so good - i mean, it makes a lot of sense that he’d assume she was trying to fight against him rather than protect him. her strategy at the funeral was unorthodox at best, but i also think she was 100% correct in her assumption that harry would’ve stayed even if she left. all those muggles were there and potentially at risk, so it completely makes sense that harry would stay regardless. also, of all things, i love that she immediately tells him that she and james aren’t dating anymore, because yeah, there were definitely some blurred lines there, but up until the very end, it always seemed like they were on track to get back together as soon as they were together again. and she’s so calculating with all of her other answers, but that one she just… blurts out.

 

also, i loved the split timeline in this chapter where we basically get albus’s, scorpius’s, and lily’s commentary as the story unfolds. i also loved seeing al’s response in particular - it’s very clear than while he believes amelia, he doesn’t trust her at all. and he trusts his dad more than anyone, and he’d rather they bring his dad in to deal with this than to let amelia continue to handle things on her own. it’s interesting to see that similarity across all the potter children.

 

oh man, professor ritter was someone i’d entirely forgotten about. looking back, it all makes sense, but i never expected him to be involved in all of this. and man, for someone who claims to be obsessed with the elder wand, it’s a bit funny that he seems to think mastery of the wand is based on birthright and that it’s somehow meant to be a hereditary thing like the cloak. like, if you’re gonna try to kill a bunch of a people over a wand, at least do your research first. :P

 

also, v curious about what ritter said about amelia being ‘the obscurial that never was?? is that something we’re gonna get answers on in a future chapter?

 

JAMES IS HERE. AND LIKE, ON THE GOOD SIDE (maybe?). YAY.

 

but also no aberforth!! i think his death is very fitting here, and he died a hero, but still, it’s sad nonetheless.

 

another thrilling chapter!

 

-taylor



Name: LadyMarauder (Signed) · Date: 20 Dec 2019 08:06 PM · For: The Departure

Hi Abby!

 

I've missed this story so much and I'm squealing that there are so many chapters for me to read and review! So, as ever, I loved this. Your characterisation is incredible throughout this story, I think that's one of the reasons I love it so much - well that and you spin such a great mystery! 

 

Amelia is such a complex character. I thought how her family's kindness makes her feel suffocated and uncomfortable is very realistic and I can really see the differences between her and them,  which at times are really a stark contrast. 

 

"I knew they cared for me, even loved me, but whenever I pondered on that, all I wanted to do was curl up and cry." - this is almost like she doesn't want to be loved, or feel that she doesn't deserve it, especially when her aunt called Amelia "her girl" and told her she loved her - Amelia's parents have really done a number on her. However, the sex talk did make me chuckle. I mean, isn't 17 a little late for that anyway?

 

So her father is after the Elder Wand...how intriguing - and utterly terrifying. That man with the most powerful wand in wizardkind fills me with dread. Is that foreshadowing for him actually getting his hands on it? Hmm. 

 

Anyway, in more pleasant events, it was nice to see Amelia meet Harry outside of his work - he might start to think she's trouble for him, which is probably true! I loved how he told her about her grandfather's ice cream shop, it seemed to relax her a bit. I'm really looking forward to reading all about the wedding and Amelia meeting some more of the family.

 

That final section... OH MY WORD!! What the hell?? I really wasn't expecting it, it just shows how much she wants to find James, and it's making me want to unravel this mystery all the more. However, the whole thing did seem to come rather easily for her, even if she is putting on a show, so maybe there is something of her parents in her and she's just been suppressing it. She definitely seemed angry and I don't think all of that could come from just her desperation at needing to find him. Susan telling her she was breaking her heart was just so sad.

 

I just have no idea where this is going to go, but I'm super excited to read more!

 

Tasha xx




Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 19 Dec 2019 05:15 AM · For: Two of a Kind

Hi Abby! I’m here from your forum request :D

 

Something about the idea of the first years not getting to go to the opening feast on their first day at Hogwarts makes me really sad. It’s one of those iconic moments and the fact that these first years have to miss it—even if only for a day—speaks to the seriousness of what’s going on. But still, what a bummer—sandwiches and a frightening pall over the whole sorting ceremony. 

 

What is Amelia’s mother up too???!! 

 

Oh my goodness—a double murder?? In Hogsmeade?? That’s wild and terrible! And yet, I love how classes always go on, in true Hogwarts fashion—whatever happens in the outside world—classes must go on :D I also enjoyed that McGonagall had to give a special warning via stern look to both James and Albus Potter. Some things never change.

 

Eeek! Double double murders??? By the way, I laughed out loud when McGonagall wished everyone a nice day—I love the stiff-upper-lipness of Hogwarts so much XD

 

You nailed Rita Skeeter’s voice in the article! I loved her snide remarks and how she dredges up ancient history (is she STILL talking about the Hermione/Krum/Potter nonsense? I know not to take anything Rita says too seriously, but are the Potters currently living apart for real? And if James really was wandering off during Quidditch training to the bad parts of the Wizarding world—is he possibly Imperioed?? And poor Amelia—she doesn’t need her name dragged through the mud and she doesn’t need to be made fun of by a childish reporter. Great job with this article, both in capturing Rita’s style and giving us more information. I also love that in both timelines while there is this major news breaking—people are talking more about James and Amelia’s relationship status. I guess it’s just human nature to distract from horrible things whenever possible.

 

Oh, nice job with Amelia and James’s argument. It does make sense that James would be arguing for tradition and Amelia against it. She’s trying to break so many traditions and stereotypes—from distancing herself from her parents to smashing the idea that Slytherins are all blood-purity fanatics. I sort of agree with her—the house system at Hogwarts may have done more harm than good. But maybe there’s a way to integrate the houses more rather than totally get rid of them??

 

I hope that James and Amelia make up soon, in any case.

 

Nice work this chapter! Come back by my thread any time :D

 

Yours,

Noelle




Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 17 Nov 2019 12:25 PM · For: The Heir of Antioch

Oh, my Merlin! OH, MY MERLIN!!! There are so many things going on here and I don't even know where to start...

So, i was Ritter, not Hopkins, in the end... I will confess it, I keep mixing the two up in my head... I should've seen the twist coming, though...

And Amelia is the Master of the Wand. I knew that already, and I thought she knew, too, actually... well, she did, but she wasn't sure... I wish she stopped trying to do everything on her own... why didn't she tell Harry the truth right after the funeral? If only she'd been honest with him back then... but that would have been so out of character, I guess, and your story wouldn't have been quite as thrilling, not to say she thought she was keeping Harry safe that way... still... Amelia, really???

I'm still not 100% sure which side James is on? I still want to believe that he's trying to keep the wand safe himself, and somehow this chapter strenghtened that conviction for me, but I still can't be sure (especially when you keep surprising me and shattering every certainty I had at each turn...) But who knows? I won't know for sure until you write the word end, right?

Aberforth... this makes me so sad... it does give some sense of closure, the way you explained it in your notes, but still... I hope you aren't planning many other killings... you said that someone important was going to die, and someone did, so I hope that's it? I wonder if there's something more to that last "Remember Ariana", except a warning not to let the Greater Good claiming victims... I have a feeling there's something under the surface there, but once again I'll know for sure later on.

I hope Amelia will manage to talk to Harry soon and that everything will turn out for the best, but like Ritter himself said, this is obviously not over...

I WANT MOOOOOORE!!!

Brilliant writing as always! This story is so unbelievably good! You are awesome!

Snowball hug, my love!

Chiara



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 22 Sep 2019 07:12 PM · For: The Headline

Hi Abby! I’m here for a belated birthday review and also for September 2019 RvG team R.

 

I’m still reeling from the events of chapter 10, and I can see that Amelia still is too. I’m glad that she is there to help care for Mr. Ollivander, and I think it’s really sweet that he wants her to take over his business. I’m not sure yet what she wants for herself—and she’s obviously so shaken from recent events that she probably can’t even think about that—but I hope that she will take him up on his offer. Making wands sounds like such a fulfilling profession.

 

Ugh. Rita Skeeter. She’s right up there with Dolores Umbridge as far as I’m concerned. And it doesn’t matter what you say to her—she’ll just twist it however she wants. I really liked how you described her quill as being acid green—excellent choice of words. Amelia’s feeling upset enough about what has happened, can’t Rita leave her alone?

 

So now we know that Amelia and James broke up publicly. I’ll be patient for you to reveal the details at the right time—but good gracious what happened?? And why is he with the NeoWalds????

 

It’s so sad that so many people died in this most recent attack. But I also feel sort of weird about the magical people just modifying everybody’s memories. I know that’s just the way they do, but it feels kinda wrong to me.

 

The barbed exchange between Rita and Amelia was excellent. I’m with Amelia—just let the witch have it—she’s going to write whatever she wants anyway.

 

 

I really enjoyed the way that you started the second section of the chapter so lightly. Teddy is here—and nice to see him too! And Helen has her first-year fears that Amelia patiently soothes. James and Amelia’s reunion was sweet and sunlit. 

 

And then, you mention that it’s all downhill from here. No!! I want James and Amelia to be together!! I want everything to work out! I hope they will be okay!

 

Okay, shouting is out of my system. What I mean to say is that the way that you painted the charming, peaceful scene of arriving at Hogwarts on the train was very well done. And the way that you turned the whole thing on its head by what happens when they get to Hogwarts was even better. The fact that Hagrid isn’t there—he’s always there—and that the students are herded back on the train. And then—I wasn’t expecting this at all—the graffiti of the Runes and the Grindelwald stuff. Eeek! What do the Runes say? Why are the Neo-Walds (if it’s them) doing this already???

 

This story is really hitting a stride—every chapter is more exciting than the one before it. Every chapter raises far more questions than it answers. Great work!

 

Yours,

Noelle



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 27 Aug 2019 04:23 PM · For: Banshee's Breath

Hi Abby!  Back again for August RvG and the last of your (Seven Deadly Sins) prize reviews!

 

Okay, so the discussion that Harry wanted to have with Amelia and James isn't quite as sinister as I was thinking it might be, but I still think that must have been a really difficult conversation for him to have.  He knows exactly how James, especially, feels when he's being told that he should just stick to what he has on with school and leave the investigation to the Aurors.  Harry was in exactly the same position when he was their age, and as frustrating as it is, of course he wants the two of them to be safe, knowing the extent of the risks that are involved in something like this.  He seems like a pretty great dad, here, and I liked the way that he stayed calm about everything, even though I'm fairly certain he knows there's something that Amelia and James aren't telling him about Grindelwald.

 

I really liked the development that we got with James and Amelia's relationship in this chapter, though.  James being so upset with her for taking those Runes from a book she knew little about makes a lot of sense when he's aware of what happened to his own mum at school, and I think this incident has definitely made them both realise more seriously what they feel for the other - which I want to think is a good thing, but I can't help worrying.  The rumours about James being the one to hurt Amelia in the first place certainly aren't great, and I'm glad that Victoria's enough of a friend to want to be the one to tell Amelia about that herself.  Her animosity towards James is really interesting though - I can't help wonder (maybe because we know that he's mixed up with the Neowalds, either voluntarily or involuntarily) whether she might know/sense something about him that Amelia doesn't yet...

 

And then why is Amelia scared at the prospect of James's confidence in not getting caught?  Is it that she's worried about him being so good at sneaking around, or is it rather that she's worried he's over-confident and that'll come back to bite him some day?  Maybe that's what happened with the NeoWalds?

 

Ugh, I have so many QUESTIONS, Abby.  You're an (exceptionally talented) mean author.

 

Then, of course, we switch to the present day again.  It doesn't surprise me that it was a ritual, because I assumed it was a test of some sort, rather than a trial, but the existence of this sort of organisation is really creepy and dark, even if they're not as active about their prejudices as the NeoWalds are...

 

I'm so intrigued by the conversation with Sinead, as well.  I can understand Sinead being suspicious, because Amelia clearly has a reputation that she's gained - either from the papers, or her association with James, or her family name, or a combination of all of those things.  And even though James appears to have disappeared with the NeoWalds, Harry still trusts Amelia enough that she's free to go about her business and do what she wants to... I'm so intrigued about what different people actually know about her and what her stance really is in relation to The Cause.  I'm fairly certain that she's against it and the ending of this chapter is her determination to find a way in so that she can find out more about James and maybe get him out, but I'm also really curious about why she's not been allowed into it already, with her mum's position and everything...

 

I'm going to have to come back soon and hopefully get some more answers to these questions!

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 27 Aug 2019 03:57 PM · For: The Witch's Trial

Hi again, Abby!  Here for August RvG and another prize review.

 

Every.  Single. Chapter.  Just as I think that things can't possibly get more intense and compelling to read, you go and leave me with cliffhangers all over the place and so many new revelations that bring up even more questions... you honestly are a truly wonderful writer, Abby!  There's so much rich detail and craft which clearly goes into every chapter that you write, and it's such a joy to read stories like this.

 

The descriptions of the stars at the start of this chapter were kind of alarmingly beautiful - alarming because it felt like they definitely weren't something that Amelia should be seeing or reaching towards.  Even though I know, objectively, that she had to live because we've seen her in the present day (not to mention there's a lot more chapters left to go), I was still worried for what was going to happen to her when she was caught between the dark and the light.  Thank goodness those voices that she recognised pulled her back!

 

And then we learnt SO MUCH in that one scene!  It's terrifying that Amelia succeeded in using dark magic on herself, especially accidentally - she's so drawn to all of this and while I can understand why, she doesn't seem to have much regard for her own safety in finding out more about it.  I don't think she was right to hold back the information on her mum, though I can understand why she didn't want to share all of her suspicions and the way that she'd found certain things out with Harry and Hyacinth.  The information they were able to tell her about Blood Runes was so fascinating and scary.  Something really dark is going on here, and while I'm still not entirely sure exactly what the nature of it is, I can't wait to find out more.  Amelia was really lucky this time, though, in managing not to pierce her skin with that drawing...

 

The ending of that scene!  What did Harry want to talk to James and Amelia about?  Is he going to warn them off finding out anymore about it, or tell them they're in danger, or get them involved...?  I can't think that Harry would voluntarily get children into something like this after what he went through, but I kind of want there to be an explanation for James and Amelia being so wrapped up in all of this that isn't just them both being too nosy and stubborn for their own good :P

 

Anyway, I have to wait and see what on earth it was that Harry said to them, because you switched back to the present day and got me even more caught up in that scene!

 

The Devil's Mark seems like such a dark and strange place, and I'm not really sure that it's a good idea for Amelia to go there on her own, no matter what it's going to give her access to... I just really hope she has a plan.  But I loved the way that you crafted that scene, with the medieval and early modern history (I loved the shout-out to Malleus Maleficarum, I studied that at one point, amongst a lot of other witchcraft treatises :P) - the chanting, the repetition, the call and response, and of course the fire - it was all so dark and creepy but mirrored the images that people had of witches' ceremonies really well, and it's all so fascinating.  I'm really looking forward to finding out more!

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 27 Aug 2019 10:58 AM · For: The Mistranslation

Hi Abby!  Here for August RvG and another of your prize reviews!

 

It's been way too long since I read this story properly, but every chapter I come back to has me on tenterhooks, and I have no idea how you manage it.  The opening scene made me so insanely curious about what on earth Amelia was doing and where she was going in Knockturn Alley.  I'm glad that at least she's going in disguise, but I can't help but worry that she's not going to be safe there - something's going to happen, or someone will realise she shouldn't be there, or she'll actually see James there... And what on earth is going on with James?  I have so many questions!

 

That first scene was so short but it was so compelling, and I was kind of annoyed that the narrative switched so quickly and I didn't get to see more of the first scene :P I was hoping we'd return to it later in the chapter, but then, of course, the next scene gripped me so quickly that I was completely wrapped up in it and just wanted to know more about what was going on there.

 

Basically, I want to know EVERYTHING, and I realise that for that I'm going to need to read more - let's hope I have more free time soon!

 

So James and Amelia are both pretty stubborn about their views on houses, and they're not exactly being mature about it at the start of this scene - but then again, I have to remind myself they're still only teenagers, and not many people are actually mature at that age.  But I can't help wishing that they'd made up the fight so that James had at least been paying enough attention to Amelia to stop her - at least, hopefully, they'll be back on good terms again after the end of this chapter?

 

The scene with the Runes was so gripping, and I don't think that's just because I'm a languages nerd.  The idea of young Amelia copying out all of those Runes because she thought it might make her mother come back is heartbreaking, and I really want to know what on earth her mother was doing giving her this book at such a young age.  Obviously her mother's not exactly the caring type, and probably wanted Amelia to discover whatever's in there, but I'm so intrigued by the idea of these Runes which have been lost to most study now, and it's really impressive that Amelia can work out how they might have evolved through the years to translate them.

 

Having said that, what on earth possessed her to WRITE THE SYMBOL ON HER SKIN???  Surely, if she'd stopped for just a second, she'd have realised that her mum and these Runes were mixed up with something that wasn't great, and maybe this sort of symbol shouldn't be one she's writing on her skin.

 

And the fact that the Rune is powerful enough to have that effect on Amelia even when she's just written it on her skin in ink, and not actually used any magic to put it there... that's really terrifying.

 

You wrote the effects of the symbol so well.  Amelia was pretty incoherent, but there's definitely some clues there in what she's saying - it seems like the Rune has given her some form of knowledge that she didn't have before, that she's maybe seeing something else or knows something that's making her so scared of the forest?  Thank goodness that James came out to help her, but I'm really worried about what on earth this has done to her, and what those months-long effects she mentioned here are going to be....

 

Sian :)



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 25 Aug 2019 12:26 AM · For: Exchanges of Words

Hi Abby! I’m here for more of your awesome story and for August 2019 RvG team R.

 

Dude. What is with this? You end the last chapter with the bomb that James is, in fact, not dead, but he’s a Neo-Wald and now I’m back reading about Amelia and her OWLS?? Oh I know, it’s your narrative genius showing :D. I think I’ve said this in a review on another story, but I LOVE how well you keep both parts of a split timeline so interesting, that I am enthralled and on the edge of my seat no matter which one I am reading. Many kudos to you!

 

And James and Amelia are just too cute. I love the Gryffindor/Slytherin romances, so I’m rooting for them all the way. I like how you gave us a smattering of the rumor mill of Hogwarts—and it must be news because it’s not every day that James Potter II starts dating a Slytherin! I think they compliment each other well though. She keeps him focused, he helps her lighten up, and they’re both intelligent, and they have this mission now about the Hallows. And they both like to snog under invisibility cloaks which seems kind of romantic to me. 

 

The whole conversation they had about whether or not they were boyfriend and girlfriend was totally sweet and deliciously awkward! I loved that she needed it spelled out, and that he thought it was obvious, and that her bargain was that she’d be his girlfriend if she gets the last piece of bacon. It was a really nice picture of their characters and just too cute.

 

Your descriptions of the chaotic aftermath of the Neo-Walds’ attack was well done. It felt gritty and emotional—especially the gathering of the Golden Trio and Ginny and their reactions to James being with the Neo-Walds. I felt so bad when Ginny started crying on Ron’s shoulder—I feel that it takes a lot to make Ginny cry.

 

And poor Amelia! As a side note, I was (darkly) amused when Amelia snapped at Victoria to stop saying that everything was alright while Amelia was having a panic attack, because I sometimes react the same way when someone is trying to comfort me when things are NOT alright. I thought Amelia’s very physical reaction to her shock and grief was wrenching and true to life. I was also touched that Harry came to talk to her and seems to totally believe her. I also loved the description of the Harry who was head of Magical Law Enforcement, and not Harry who was losing his family. He’s still who he is—the man who can put everyone else first.

 

The letters that Amelia and James exchange over the summer are a good mix of sweetness, family life, and building more information about the Hallows. It’s probably for the best that Amelia stops wearing the pendant since it’s connected to “The Cause” and there are attacks happening all over Europe. I wonder how Amelia will react if she gets invited to a Potter/Weasley family event! And I’m curious as to what James’s favorite family memory is. They are good correspondents and I like seeing Amelia’s teasing side come out.

 

I feel so bad for Amelia at the end of this chapter. Her pain and betrayal, and the way that she blames herself! I can’t believe that it’s all her fault. And I also can’t believe that James is with the Neo-Walds of his own volition. There must be more to the story! 

 

I don’t see how Amelia can be expected to move on when she’s still in love with James. I hope that she can save him—and I hope that she can stay safe in the process.

 

Another exciting, well written chapter!

 

Yours,

Noelle

 



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 27 Jul 2019 12:49 AM · For: The Funeral

AHHHHH SO MUCH HAPPENED. (I say this every chapter hahaha. BUT THIS TIME MORE THAN OTHERS.)

 

I was really, really excited to finally know the full story of what happened at the funeral, and I wasn’t disappointed! I was very, very wrong about what happened, but that’s okay, I was already prepared for that haha. I was also quite wrong about James, I think—he seemed to have relatively good intentions going into the funeral, and he was supporting Amelia the whole time. He also didn’t want the Cause to get to the Wand, obviously, which is why they were protecting Harry. Where did he go though?? Was he hiding somewhere since he didn’t have a wand? What happened to him? What did they do to him afterwards??

 

Also, Amelia’s inability to perform Occlumency without numbing herself to any emotion is really kind of frightening haha, she should work on that I think. Seems more beneficial to keep emotions while still thinking rationally and warding away unwanted Leglimens invasions.

 

THE CHURCH SOUNDED SO CREEPY. I got a really eerie reminder of those zombie movies (or like movies where humans get taken over by some sort of alternative being) where it felt like something was going to snap at any moment, and they were all going to turn on Amelia and the people who came with her. I mean, that second part didn’t happen, as it was the NeoWalds who really did it, but the Muggles were so eerie, I don’t understand why Amelia chose to stay?? She must be a lot more stubborn than I would be haha; no matter how much I wanted to hatefully stare at the face of my hypothetically dead father, I wouldn’t stay and risk this.

 

Her plan to save Harry was difficult to understand at first but eventually I figured it out, I think. She mostly just wanted to distract her mother and Cassius from Harry, right? So by taking the battle into her own hands, she managed to deflect most of the attention from Harry onto herself? WHY DIDN’T SHE LET HARRY OUT THOUGH, IF SHE DID HE COULD’VE DONE MORE TO SAVE JAMES. AHHHH.

 

I’m putting too much blame on her, she was under a lot of pressure in that moment and probably wasn’t thinking too clearly. But omg. We finally know what happened!!

 

I can’t wait for the next chapter omg. <3

 

Eva



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 27 Jul 2019 12:17 AM · For: The Search

Okay so I’m finally here with your requested reviews, which are so so late, and I’m incredibly sorry about that! The HC is finally winding down so I have the chance to finish up your reviews now haha. <3

 

So many things happened this chapter!!! Something that I noticed really strongly in this chapter (it was present in all the other chapters, but it only occurred to me here to say it) is the difference between past Amelia and present Amelia. She still has the same general characteristics—the determination, the wild will to do everything it takes to do what she wants—but she was still much more naïve back then, especially in her relationship with James. She has become far more hardened in her present day, making it really interesting to see the contrast between the two.

 

Okay, so important things first!! Amelia did take the wand out from its hiding place. I think in my previous review I theorized that she took the wand out and used it against James in the altercation at her father’s funeral…and I’m still kind of leaning towards that? Like, perhaps initially she took it out to, I don’t know, battle NeoWalds or something like that, and maybe James was there because he wanted to fight against them somehow, or just get closer to them, and she got in the middle somehow, and maybe the Elder Wand got the better of her and hurt someone somehow? OR maybe it was the reverse, and James took the wand out for the funeral, and she was the one who got blamed for it…but then I don’t know how she would’ve hidden it again someplace else. OR MAYBE NEITHER OF THEM BROUGHT IT IDK AND SHE JUST HID IT AFTERWARDS. That seems most likely, come to think of it haha.

 

Normally I have more confidence in my theories but I am very very unsure about what happened at the funeral lol.

 

Can I just say, “BACON” WAS THE PASSWORD?? That’s so cute and saddening at the same time omg. I can’t believe she used such an endearing password for her new hiding place for the Elder Wand, a password that connects her and the one person she’s trying to hide it from! WHY DID SHE LEAVE A NOTE SAYING SHE HID IT ELSEWHERE?? Did she want him to find it?? AMELIA YOU DUMMY. (Unless the note didn’t actually say she hid it somewhere else haha.) I really enjoyed reading about the part when she started putting the books together to form the sign of the Deathly Hallows; that was a really clever way of hiding it, and I thought it was a really unique idea! Go her! And the magic sounds complicated too, which is even more impressive.

 

She got back together with James (briefly, sort of), which was sort of bittersweet. I’m curious to know what happens after! Will she finally explain what’s happening???

 

Eva



Name: sibilant (Signed) · Date: 20 Jul 2019 01:10 PM · For: Crushed

ABBY! Here again for our extended swap. I think this is review 5/10 :D

 

I really love the chapter title, for a multitude of reasons.

 

First off, oh my god, my heart is so fuzzy and melty! I love that Amelia has finally acknowledged her feelings for James, and I LOVE how you depicted her crush. I think it's a super realistic portrayal of someone having a crush, especially someone as pragmatic as Amelia; it makes total sense that she'd try to problematize James, that her thoughts would turn toward him constantly much to her own irritation. I especially loved the way she thought about his positive qualities, gushing about him a bit--well, Amelia's version of gushing hehe.

 

I think that the cuteness of her realizing her crush fed very well into the cuteness of the scene with Aunt Susan and Amelia. The events of the last chapter and this chapter have perfectly cemented, in my mind, how maternal Susan is to Amelia, and I don't think there's anything really more maternal than braiding your daughter's hair. I wonder if Amelia's ever had anyone do this for her. The mother-daughter-ness of that interaction is also making me feel really fuzzy; Aunt Susan is contrasted so strongly with Amelia's actual mother, with her perceptiveness and her gentle teasing and her encouragement. It was such a delight to read, and I'm really happy that Susan is playing a fairly significant role in this story.

 

And then the second reason I love this chapter title: I do feel truly crushed by the other events in the chapter, especially the slightly darker/melancholic scenes. Before I discuss those, I just wanted to reiterate (probably for the hundredth time, sorry) that I love the rhythm and structure of this fic. The light and dark scenes across the various timelines go so well together to create this really cohesive feeling and to increase my emotional investment.

 

For example, after the scene with Aunt Susan, I am all the more invested in Amelia finding an actual family, so I genuinely teared up when she had to say goodbye to Florean. Especially since he's just so grandfatherly--reminiscing about Harry as a kid, filled with this sort of wisdom that can really only come from age. I love the reassuresments and encouragement that he gave Amelia; I feel like he understands her really well. He knows that Amelia has a strong mind and good instincts--but he also knows that she needs to trust her heart and listen to it more. I think the advice for her to know her heart and her mind was just excellent.

 

The scene with Aunt Susan also makes me super invested in James. I wonder how Harry is feeling right now. I'm not actually that surprised that he showed up--though I am really surprised about the attacks, and especially since Amelia doesn't actually seem that surprised at all by the attacks happening? Or maybe I'm reading it wrong.

 

I feel very anxious about whatever James ahs discovered, and the mystery might actually kill me. I feel like with the romance plot progressing forward and with everything with Amelia's search for family, the mystery in the background feels increasingly foreboding--which is just so well done. You continue to increase the stakes in this story so it's quite near impossible to stop reading haha. I'm so impressed and admire your writing so much and am taking avid notes so I can learn from this to better my own writing.

 

This was such an excellent chapter. My theories are that the book is the Tales of Beedle and Bard and James has discovered a tale that connects to The Cause. I feel increasingly convinced that the Cause has something to do with the Deathly Hallows. I doubt it'd be something as simple as just getting the Deathly Hallows--it'd be really interesting if the objective was actually to destroy the Hallows. That'd be so cool? Like it's a noble goal, but clearly there's something very evil about how they go about doing it. I love that subversion of expectations.

 

But idk, I feel like I'm totally wrong :P I'm throwing you my theories regardless, and hopefully they are entertaining to you hehe.

 

Anyways. I loved this so much, as always <3 I'll be back soon!

 

<3 Shreya



Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 20 Jul 2019 01:55 AM · For: Two of a Kind

I'm baaack!

 

Double murders! Yikes. That's definitely not what I expected it to be. I mean, I don't really know what I expected. But it did have a very murdery ring to it, the runes kind of reminded me of the way the people at the Quidditch World Cup in GoF put the dark mark in the sky (I think? omg it's been so long since I read the books I can't even remember if that's where that spell showed up, but you know what I mean?) Anyway, the runes was kind of reminiscent of that. And the fact that they're targeting wizard/muggle couples is ominous too. Like they're really trying to keep muggles and magical folks as separate as possible, that seems to be their aim, as near as I can figure.

 

That lemonade/coffee thing was so very Slytherin of Amelia :P

 

Krum did have that saucy affair with Minister for Magic Hermione Granger-Weasley while potentially dating Harry Potter -- Is it just me or has this story embellished itself tenfold over time? How much saucier is this story going to be ten years from now? Has Rita not forgotten that Hermione knowns her secret and can destroy her? :P

 

I realize that this is the first glimpse into some of Amelia's past, and it was very sneaky of you to deliver this information through the wildly distorted lens of Rita Skeeter. I have the bare bones of information but can't trust anything she says XD

 

Wow, I really love their discussion of the houses and prejudice/stereotypes, and how privilege (Gryffindors) ties into it, in Amelia's perspective. It's a really insightful discussion (even though they're arguing haha) especially when you take a step back and apply it to how we divide people within society. I love my Hufflepuffs but I kinda agree with Amelia, that the house system does kind of stick a label on you and perpetuate stereotypes. But humans have always been prone to categorizing things/people - so it would have just been another system of sorting, right?

 

Great chapter!! <3



Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 11:43 PM · For: The Escape

Hey Abby!  

 

I'm here to drop you a review for the House Cup Finale 2019 and Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle- July 2019!

 

I knew as soon as Amelia found out about the wand that it was going to be bad news. She's too inquisitive to leave anything interesting alone and in this case, I feel like she has some weird sense of personal responsibility for the Cause. Naturally, her and James are going to start trying to find it.

 

It is very interesting that the minute that Amelia shows up at The Cause safehouse, the ministry also shows up. I know she says she has nothing to do with it....and I believe her...that she didn't do it directly, but I almost wonder if the ministry is following her in some way.

 

The memory of the Potters playing in the snow was so sweet. I think that was the sort of family interaction that Harry so desperately desired as a child. I feel like the ending of it summed up Amelia well though. Feeling like she needed to protect them when ultimately, it wasn't her responsibility to do so.

 

I think James is right. I don't know if going to The Cause is going to give Amelia the answers that she wants. I think really she's just entrenched herself even deeper into this mess of a situation. It's going to look really bad in the eyes of the ministry too if they catch her.

 

Yeah, she's going to regret that interaction with Rita Skeeter.

 

I had a feeling that Amelia was going to get caught. I didn't think she would escape her little foray into the dark side unscathed. I wonder if they'll put her in prison now.

 

Good work on this chapter!

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 11:25 PM · For: In This Moment

Hey Abby!  

 

I'm here to drop you a review for the House Cup Finale 2019 and Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle- July 2019!

 

Looks like Aunt Susan's attempted talk was well needed since James and Amelia are clearly about to get frisky. Or at least they were until they were interrupted by the loud noise in the kitchen.

 

The security procedure at the Cause safehouse leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, I understand why they would search Amelia for weapons, but they could've been a bit more tactful about it. Then to find out that it was Vaisey the whole time is even grosser. I feel like he didn't have to be so assault-y with her.

 

Lucky for James and Amelia that they didn't get caught. That wouldn't have made the best impression on the Potter's I'm sure.

 

Again, I find myself feeling nothing but repulsion towards Vaisey and Amelia's mother. I suppose he is a criminal, so I shouldn't expect much from him, but it is pretty disgusting to watch Amelia's mom stand by passively as her daughter is interrogated and roughed up. I guess if she fought back it would only make things worse, but still, I feel like she's sort of betraying her roll as a mother.

 

Finally, we get to see James. I do wonder how he'll take the news that Amelia is trying to join the Cause. I can't imagine he'll be very happy about it.

 

Another good chapter! This story always keeps me on the edge of my seat.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 11:05 PM · For: The Lupin-Weasley Wedding

Hey Abby!  

 

I'm here to drop you a review for the House Cup Finale 2019 and Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review Battle- July 2019! You already know I can't just read one chapter of this story, so it should be no surprise I'm back for more.

 

The wedding sounds so lovely. It feels almost the same way that Fleur and Bill's wedding did. Where everything seems right, but it's really just the calm before the storm. It was nice to see little flickers of each of the different Weasleys and how Amelia's meeting them all goes.

 

Yeah, based on the last chapter and this one, it's clear that Amelia is doing what she needs to to protect the people she loves. At least that's what she's doing in her mind. Giving that warning to Victoria and Gaius will keep Victoria safe...and just disappearing out of the window won't give her an option to follow.

 

Awww. Hagrid, bless his soul. He is just the sweetest. I love this interaction between him and Amelia...even if he does talk too much sometimes. The way he recalls everyone is heartbreaking, but also realistic too.

 

The memorial table is a great touch at the wedding too. Of course, you wouldn't want to forget the family members who died in the wars.

 

And Amelia has finally, irrevocably tossed her lot in with the Cause. It's not said explicitly, but I'm pretty sure the woman who comes for her at the end is her mother. I think the ransacking of the Corner's house was a message to her that it was time to pick sides.

 

I know you said in your author's note that you were anxious about this chapter, but I think it's really well done. Count down till the final chapters is on.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 10:49 PM · For: The Departure

Hey Abby!  

 

I'm here to drop you a review for the House Cup Finale 2019 and to squee over the rest of your story! I'm so excited to see that you're almost finished with it. I know you've been working so hard on it.

 

Yikes. That first scene is very ominous. I wonder what was in the drink they gave Amelia. I hope she'll be okay.

 

Susan is so sweet. She wants so desperately for Amelia to let her love her, but alas, I fear she's never going to have that bond she wants. Amelia is set on keeping her at an arm's length and I doubt that will ever change.

 

I'm glad that Amelia is okay. After a scary evening like the one she's had, it should be a relief to get home and yet, it feels ominous. I hope Susan and Michael haven't been attacked or killed.

 

Amelia's meeting with the Potter's goes pretty smoothly. She seems charming and they seem to like her. I think the bits about her doing her makeup with Lily are really sweet too. Good bonding time even if Lily is coughing all over her.

 

Aww. And I liked that Harry told Amelia about her grandfather and his free ice cream during the summer.

 

Ugh. The ending scene is so tough. I think Amelia is doing it to protect the Corner's, but it doesn't make it less painful. Susan loves her so deeply and to betray her in that way is so heartbreaking. I don't think it will work either. I think they'll see through her plans and keep trying to support her. I hope they don't get killed because of it.

 

The Cause is pretty foolish to show up at her house though. Do they really think she'd just keep whatever info she has on the Elder Wand just lying around casually?

 

Great chapter! I'm onto the next one now.

 

~Kaitlin




Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 19 Jul 2019 05:49 AM · For: The Headline

Abby! It's been TOO long since I last read this story, and last you heard from me I was STILL FREAKING OUT about chapter 10, and two chapters later and like 6 months later I'm still not over it. It's fine. :P

 

Rita Skeeter is the worst. It's like she's just there to twist a knife into the wound. She's obnoxious and trying even on an average day, but when it's *this* day, this horrible day thathas turned Amelia's whole world upside down, I'm not surprised she loses her temper. Anyone would. I don't honestly think Amelia was particularly rude to Rita :P She was certainly no worse than Rita was. Rita essentially said that Amelia is looking old and that her personal life will be the stuff of gossip and there's nothing she can do. How would one react politely to that? So yeah, I don't blame Amelia...

 

I can really feel her desperation and raw anger in that above section and then to switch from that to Teddy Metamophaging into James' appearance is almost disorienting, haha! The way Teddy is needling James with the prank and with mildly embarrassing him is pretty funny, and James' reaction is priceless XD He did expect this sort of thing though, he told Amelia about it in the previous chapter so I bet he's been worrying the whole summer about how Teddy was going to embarrass him haha.

 

Wow, so that paragraph was so sad, about how that kiss was the best moment of their relationship and how she longed for that moment again because everything changed after it! Because it's still the very beginning of their relationship when everything is new, and it's just sad to think that nothing over the next two years measured up to it because of how dark the surrounding circumstances became. Like the mysterious things that start happening when they get off the train. What is that all about?? It feels especially ominous that they made everyone get back on the train, because that's something that never happened in the books, and it means the school is unsafe, and, yikes. Omg things are happening and maybe this is where I will start to get some answers? maybe? :P

 

I really want to keep reading but I'm so tired and I also suspect that the next chapter will end with another cliff hanger or intense moment because you like to do that :P This was a great chapter and I'm so glad to be reading this again!



Name: something wicked (Signed) · Date: 18 Jul 2019 08:40 AM · For: The Funeral

 

Okay my dear I have finally pulled myself together and am here with the promised review!! Anyway. Here we go... funeral. I've been waiting for this chapter for SO long and i've been so so impatient because I knew what was coming and WOW and it does NOT disappoint. 

 

I think the way the structures work in this chapter shows how incredible that brain of yours works. Ameilia talking about the funeral in the present landing on the same chapter as the funeral in the past is incredible planning and it really shows your split timeline at its finest. Also the weasley potter gang are incredible in this chapter. They're generally hilarious and break up the darker mood of the past so well. 

 

The thing that I maybe didn't expect about this chapter, that works so well, is that really, at the end of the day everything sort of was Amelia's fault. She's asked at the very beginning if she's sure about attending the funeral and pretty much everyone thinks its a bad idea. Her need for "closure" as she puts it is essentially the driving force behind everything going wrong. The warning signs were everywhere, the muggles, the weird request to close the casket and EVERYONE ELSE can see it. She shouldn't have been there and she definitely shouldn't have stayed! 

 

The fight scene... I've read it over and over and I still love it. You write it sowell, it's past paced and complex, you weave so many thready together and still keep track of them all. From James vanishing to the duel. Ameilia's technique is so clever and so very Ameilia. I loved the snowball fight tie in there! It's all go, all drama and then agh... Abby how do you do this - my heart!! You can really tell in that moment, more than any other, how much she loves James. It was heartbreaking. 

 

I love how the Ameilia's are probably more similar now than they have been running up to this point, or at least, after this chapter they will be. Present Amelia still has time on her side, and the very subtle way you write her being *just* that bit more mature is incredible writing. I think, in the present with all the growing up she's done, she wouldn't have gone to the funeral in the first place. Or at least I hope so. But here, at last, we've pretty much caught up. James is gone, Ameilia is in big big trouble and THE MASTER OF THE ELDER WAND!!

 

Excellent chapter. Now write more, please ;)

 

Deni <3

 



Name: sibilant (Signed) · Date: 16 Jul 2019 01:46 AM · For: Mum's the Word

Abby! Back again <3 I think this makes 4/10 in term of swap reviews. I'm so excited to have time to read more of this amazing fic! I've been thinking a lot about it lately; you've definitely written the kind of fic that sits in your mind for a while afterwards.

 

THIS HAS BEEN MY FAVORITE CHAPTER SO FAR! You're definitely going to have keep count of the number of the times that I say it during this fic haha :P I really loved this chapter. I feel like it was a treatise of sorts on Amelia's growing relationships, and it makes my heart feel like it's going to burst.

 

I really loved the argument with Susan and Michael. At first, I was really irritated with them for being so irrationally angry with her--don't they realize that she's trying to save James? Then I realized that they don't, in fact, know because Amelia is, objectively, trash at communicating. (It makes for a very good plot device though haha :P). I can also tell that they're coming from a deep place of love and of caring; they're obviously really loving people. Why would you get so worked up over something if you didn't care about that person?

 

I feel like this is the first glimpse we've gotten of Michael and Susan acting as parents, and I think introducing them in that role was an excellent decision, especially since the previous chapters we've seen a lot of how Amelia's biological parents are quite terrible parents. I'm wondering if we'll see more of Michael and Susan throughout the fic, and whether their role will evolve in some way?

 

One thing I really wish for Amelia is for her to learn to be more open and vulnerable with her options. She's an incredibly reserved person, which I can understand...and I wonder if James will help her be more vulnerable. I definitely saw that in the scene with them, which was SO CUTE. I think James is just the right amount of pushy to get Amelia to open up, but so genuinely non-judgemental that she actually wants to open up. Again, he also draws out her playful side, and I love seeing her relax more.

 

I can tell that she's probably rather irritated about haivng caught feelings for James. I'm looking forward to seeing how she processes these feelings, considering her track record for processing other feelings of hers haha.

 

Also James being a secret nerd is SO CUTE. I love him so much.

 

Now to 180 complete: the scene with Amelia and Florean made me so emotional. I'm staring to see the themes of the fic emerge (I feel like this chapter deals with them most explicitly of any of the chapters so far). The theme of family, and searching for a family, is emerging so clearly--especially with the scene with Michael and Susan. I continue to consider the title, to try to decode it--and my hypothesis that Amelia is searching for a place where she can be happy and truly herself, and finding a true family is an essential part of that. I think it was a really smart move on your part introducing us to her biological parents, the trash human beings that they are, so now I'm really invested in Amelia actually reaching this place.

 

Also another note of meta-analysis: I've loved the way that you've structured and selected the scenes from the past and the present. I feel like the timelines are going to converge soon, as the emotional and plot stakes start getting higher. I also feel like there is a clear rhythm to this fic, where when something bad happens in one timeline, it's paired with something good happening in the other timeline--which creates a really good balance.

 

This fic is so well structured, and so well written. I'm getting addicted to it hehe :P

 

Amazing chapter, as always! Thank you so much for sharing, and I'll be back soon to review more!

 

<3 Shreya



Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 14 Jul 2019 06:33 PM · For: The Funeral

hi abby, here for our swap! (and, of course, counting this for RvG as well)

 

the split timeline has always worked really well, but it’s especially fitting in this chapter, because we’re alternating between amelia telling the story and amelia living it - the interruptions by al and lily that bring it back to the present really give it that feel of a flashback, which is a little different from previous chapters where there’s been slightly less overlap in events, but works equally as well.

 

so, right from the beginning, this funeral is weird as hell. i mean, the random muggles everywhere who seemingly know amelia’s father despite never actually having met them? that’s such a huge flashing warning sign, and pretty much everyone else picks up on that except amelia, who’s so dead set on spitting on her father’s grave that nothing else matters. and like, yeah, that’s a decent motive to be there, but at what cost? if i were amelia, i would’ve just immediately gotten out of there and, idk, kicked over his tombstone or something like that. this reeks of being a trap, but she just doesn’t seem to care. 

 

it’s also kind of crazy to realise that, after all this time, amelia and james were essentially still together when all of this happened. yes, they weren’t anything definitive, but this kiss outside the church and the way that he makes her feel is still very real, even in these last few moments before james gets captured/whatever happens to him. (and then albus being the one who has to get her to snap out of essentially fantasising about kissing james in the middle of telling an important story is just great, excellent use of timeline jump right there.)

 

and predictably, everything goes to hell the moment the casket lid closes. this whole action sequence is just brilliant - i *hate* writing action scenes (and I am actually terrible at is, on top of that) so I give major, major props to anyone who can execute one well. and this is just top-notch - and the whole funeral was meant as a trap for harry by the cause, which is a HUGE revelation. they know that amelia’s important to james, and that james comes with harry, so they’d 100% get harry present at this funeral if amelia’s there. they capitalized on her hate for her father to lure harry into a vulnerable situation (side note: was this the thing I almost got right in my chapter 25 review? that james can’t see a world in which his dad needs protecting because he’s always seen his dad as the hero who can beat anyone? yes, i’m still hung up on trying to figure out what I got right)

 

amelia’s fighting style in this - throwing everyone off their rhythm and making vaisey and her mother think that the other was attacking them, is very strange, but worked. tbh, it strikes me as a very slytherin way to go about fighting - the gryffindor in me would charge straight into a situation, but she’s figured out how to cause chaos in a totally different way. and she’s protecting harry in perhaps the most ludicrous way possible - tying him up at the bottom of a grave. but at the very least, it gets him out of the way and protected for a little bit.

 

but we’ve finally come full circle - the cause took james, and we’ve got no idea what’s about to happen to him. and, of course, the present-amelia of chapter 1 doesn’t know what’s happened to him either - so she’s in for a long stint of not knowing where the hell he is or if he’s alive. and you’ve left us on such a massive cliffhanger - what is amelia about to do?

 

anyways, PLEASE hit me up with that google doc. also, i'm looking at your author's note now, and to use a good place quote bc i’ve on a netflix binge and this is the only way to say this in a t-rated review, HOLY MOTHERFORKING SHIRTBALLS THE MASTER OF THE ELDER WANT. it’s not harry anymore - it's amelia. i can only assume that’s somehow related to what amelia’s about to do next? (also, was that at all related to what james found in the original wand hiding place? you’ve answered some things in this chapter but also left me with SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS. I NEED ANSWERS, ABBY!!)

 

-taylor



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 10 Jul 2019 09:10 PM · For: The Heir of Ignotus

Hi Abby! I’m here for our continuing swap and for July RvG, team R.

 

Ooo, this chapter title is intriguing too!

 

The NeoGrindelwalds are freaky—and an awesome piece of world building. I can totally see that there would be a group of crazies that would follow this ideology. Voldemort and Grindelwald are symptoms—not the underlying problem!

 

Oh no, poor Mr. Ollivander!!! He’s been lying there all night with a broken hip?! I’m so glad that Amelia found him, but I’m sorry that he’s afraid to get help because they might force him to leave his shop. Although, I guess it makes sense that he would be scared after what Voldemort did to him.

 

I’m glad that Amelia has Victoria and Gaius to help Mr. Ollivander. I’m also really interested to know more about his family—why are they estranged and what the story is with his grandson. I hope they will show up as the story goes on.

 

The Neowalds are so scary! Blowing up a Muggle train station in plain sight of everyone! (nicely written by the way!)

 

I can just imagine how wonderful Harry must have felt to pass this cloak onto his son in person, especially since his own father hadn’t been able to give it to him in person. And I can just imagine all of the trouble that James II has gotten into “in the course of duty.” I love that Amelia has warmed up to James so much that she doesn’t mind his rule breaking and that she and James exchange all the information they have about the Hallows. It’s also wonderful that she is understanding as to why James didn’t tell her about the cloak right away.

 

Them hiding from Filch was adorable, although I was honestly kind of sad that Filch has a new cat! He must have been heartbroken when Mrs. Norris died…nice touch that you kept up the ambiguity as to whether or not the cat can see through the cloak.

 

Aww! This kiss is sooo sweet! Nicely done, I love that it’s under the cloak! :D

 

 

Great shift back into the chaos of the battle in Diagon Alley too! Your action sequence is well written—I can follow the action, but I still feel the urgency and I feel a little disoriented too. I’m very troubled that Amelia’s mother is here and that her own daughter may very well get injured or killed in this melee. And, oh my goodness, what is James doing with the NeoWalds???? Is he being Imperioed? Do they have some other means of coercing him? Aack! 

 

What an exciting chapter! I will be back later this week for sure, because I can’t possibly stop here!

 

Yours,

Noelle



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