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Reviews For Yaxley

Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 20 Oct 2018 04:23 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Down Into the Dungeons

Hey there! So I actually read through and got caught up on this story several days ago. I'm reviewing for the RvG Challenge (Go Gold!) and for the Haunted House: Maze 1 review. Cassies argument with Eddie takes place in the dungeon, so. 

 

This might repeat a bit from my other review, but I really like the tension and suspense you've created. Some of it manifested with the fighting, and it's building and building up. I can't wait!! 

 

I'm really intrigued by Cassie's relationship with some of the Slytherins. I'm a big fan of characters who walk that fine line and struggle between good and bad. Not that Cassie struggles herself with that, but she lives between and shares her world with the good and the bad. Or like, ugh, there's probably a word for it, but I can't think of it. Like Itachi in Naruto or Brambleclaw in Warriors or Murtagh in The Inheritance Cycle or I guess Snape in the series. That moral dilemna is captivating.

 

Sirius' reaction to hearing the news was priceless!!! I'm not saying that I wanted Sirius to get his just desserts for being mean to Cassie, but I'm also not saying that I didn't want that to happen either ;) It was a solemn and serious matter. Yes. But did a small part of me think, "Ya, what now bro??!" when Cassie was the one to confirm that it was Regulus who hurt James? Yes, I did have a small sense of satisfaction when that happened. Even though it was a serious scene. No puns intended. :P 

 

To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out Cassie's relationship with Eddie. I don't know if you meant it to be that way or not ... Are they like unofficially engaged? He likes her, right? The line, "Cassie too frozen by shock to do anything. He had to do that now? Not any other time over seventeen years?" What was "do that" ? Blush? Physical affection? 

 

Keep it up! I can't wait for your next chapter!

 

- Aubrey

 



Name: javu (Signed) · Date: 15 Oct 2018 01:23 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Faded Yellow

Okay. Wow. First of all, I want to compliment your ability to create fear and tension without anything happening yet. Like, talk of things happening, but no scary action scenes yet, but I'm fully engrossed and tense and worried something is going to happen. I don't think I've ever read a Marauder's era fic that dives in so serious without the writing style being all doom and gloom. Ugh, I don't know how to explain it. Like how Cassie asks for Lily to be on the immunity list, and how she refers to Lily as 'Evans' to distance herself from her friend. The setting is her getting ready to board the Hogwarts Express = light atmosphere, but the conversation is serious. So the contrast itself makes tension. Does that make sense?? It's just a vibe I'm getting, but it's good! 

 

Going on from that, I really like how Cassie and Sirius check the left arms of the kids of Death Eaters. I feel like it's a think non-Death Eater kids wouldn't do, but Cassie and Sirius are "in the know" and subtly check the other kids of Death Eaters. Again, there's this undertone of suspicion. I love it!!

 

I'm really looking forward to Cassie's character development. She's a Yaxley, and Sirius is a Black. I'm eager to see why they clash. But I'm also looking forward to see how they become friends. (I hope). 

 

- javu, written for RvG challenge. Go GOLD!



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 15 Oct 2018 10:36 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Scales

 

Deni!

 

There is so much to unpack in this chapter and I feel like so much character development has been done here. I thought this chapter would be Sirius saving Cassie from Remus in the forest but I'm glad you went for a different route with this chapter because I think the scene in the woods with Sirius was really well written, I love how much tension that you packed into this scene. I think this is brilliant example of a slow burn. I feel there is just something that ties these two characters together like being magnets or something like that.

 

OMG. THAT WAS SO INTENSE. I feel so much for Cassie, having to carry around those kinda memories is too much for someone so young. I see what you've done when Cassie has death following her about. It's no wonder that she has a lot of unsolved issues. I thought that whole memory section was electric but chilling. It opens so many more questions about the tease of another murders? why is voldermort so interested in Cassie? her dad is in prison is interesting reveal too.

 

I like the last section about her bonding with Sirius a bit, it's nice to build that relationship but I love the last little section with Sophie. The last line is amazing and I'm so excited about where this is leading! Cassie is such a strong person and I know she means it. I'm sad now because I have no more chapters to binge on :(

 

- Abbi xo

 

RvG - Team Gold.

 



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 14 Oct 2018 02:32 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Better To Run While You Still Can

 

Hey!

 

So I'm back! woo. 

 

I love the description of the weather at the start of this chapter. I think it's cool to show this storm when a social 'storm' is happening to Cassie (and the wider world). So I think it's interesting that Cassie is still feeling protective over her position within the Slytherin group. She has this air about her which make her fit in well with the slytherins in here which I don't think we see a lot. she's proud of her place (or at least aware of it!). There are parts of her which really belong in 'that' world. On another note, I love Prya and I want her and Emme to share more scenes :P (edit: I've been reviewing as I go so I didn't get to see that my wish had already been granted in this chapter!)

 

I'm so interested to learn more of the significance of these dreams. The dreams seem to be getting more intense so it's going to be so good to explore what those mean to Cassie later in the story but I love you sewing the seeds for later. 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASSIE. yay! I love that you made her share it with Sirius too. it's interesting to have another reason for that tension between the two. Sirius' card is super adorable too! Cassie is lucky to get lots of lovely presents. I thought Lily's present was especially nice and sentiment.

 

 

"No, I do it's just... Subtle isn't a Gryffindor strong point, is it?" < FAVOURITE LINE. IT'S TOO TRUE. HAHA.

 

So I love Emme and Prya (and Lily together). Make Prya part of the group!! do it!! I seriously loved that whole interaction between them. It was really fun and well written dialogue. I love their friend chemistry together! I love that Prya made an effort to join the group of Gryffindor for Cassie. I love sassy Lily with the bottle! 

 

So I really like the storytelling here with the contrast between the two scenes. We had a really fun one followed by the end scene which packed a real emotional punch here. I feel so much for poor Sophie and obviously she's grieving but such a horrible thing for Cassie as well. It isn't her fault either but such an intense scene. It brings the idea that death is a real possibility like there are more than one story going on here. You've got the story between Sirius and Cassie, Cassie and her friends, Cassie and the deatheaters. It's going to be great to see those things unfold and entwined together.

 

- Abbi xo

 

RvG - Team Gold (also cos you're so amazing!)

 



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 13 Oct 2018 10:34 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: The Black Lake

 

Hey!

 

So I love this first scene, again Emme steals the show for me! I really like how this story deals with quite heavy themes but it also had these moments of just being a dramatic teenager! I love that Lily wanted her moment to be all dramatic about it and Cassie and Emme's reactions are so perfect and adorable! Emme's comment about 'I'm not dying again!' shows that shes bounce back well just has to be more dramatic then Lily! Emme is awesome!

 

I think it's interesting with the line about James being treated like a King for getting a date with Lily. It seems like a comment on the society that we live in? Boys get it all right? I liked that Remus doesn't like the name 'Marauders' because we always get the impression that it's what they call themselves but I kinda like that Remus views it as embarrassing now. It's a different take on things. I really like how you've developed the friendship between Remus and Cassie here. We haven't seen too much of Remus in this story so far. I appreciated this.

 

She didn't want to be caught in a skirt if it came to making a fast getaway. < I love this line so much! just it amuses me! I like how very slowly we are getting more conversation between Cassie and Sirius to build up that relationship. I do like their chemistry like it can be fun but also seems dangerous like something is always bubbling away beneath the surface in all of their interactions. 

 

What would a marauders story be without a prank or two! Certainly sounds like those Slytherins deserved it :P I thought this was going to be a reason for Lily to get annoyed with James again about the pranking but I'm glad it wasn't! I love how Lily was helping Slughorn. She's lovely! I lovelove that Prya found it funny! She's a good character. I would love to see a bit more of her. Obviously Eddie didn't find it too funny so it'll be interesting to see where that leaves Eddie and Cassie's relationship after this. I'm assuming that it's not a good place so be good to see that develop in future chapters!

 

- Abbi xo

 

RvG - Team Gold

 



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 08 Oct 2018 01:20 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Down Into the Dungeons

 

Hey!

 

So again, a lot going on in this chapter! It really is coming to crunch time for Cassie and I feel like this chapter has really set up that decision for her. I'm so proud of her for walking away from Eddie. I hope she felt very powerful in that moment but I think more likely confused and scared but she's very brave and I love that you've written her this way. 

 

I feel like Cassie just a good job in stopping Sirius from going after Regulus. I thought this chapter showed what their friendship could be. It felt it was a big moment when Cassie defended Sirius to Lily in this story! So I'm interested to see if anything changes after that or it's a kinda turning point? I don't know! I guess I'll be reading on though ;)

 

That family pressure is real! I felt Cassie's sisters letter was well kinda crushing Cassie's dream there. I do like the ending of this chapter. I just felt there was so really nice imagery at the end when she is burning that letter. It was symbolic but beautifully written. What is Cassie going to do next? I can relate to that feeling of being so tired with that emotional stress is so realistic.

 

I'll be back. 

- Abbi xo

 



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 06 Oct 2018 04:59 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Scales

Hey Deni! Here for October RvG (team Gold)! And to give you some much deserved TLC for my partner-in-crime!

 

I love the description you use of Cassie in the woods and the contrast of coldness and warmth throughout the entire chapter. This is so clever with how you're building your story. Cassie's panic and fear and sorrow: chillingly cold. And then the thestral and Sirius: oddly comforting, despite both of them having ominous and sometimes uncomfortable influences in her life. Cassie doesn't exactly realize this contrast, but deep down she feels it. This is one of these things in life that she will have to figure out, and I cannot wait to watch that unfold.

 

The memory of her first witness to death is terrifying. Why does Voldemort only want ONE Yaxley daughter to witness the murder and why does her father insist that Cassie be the one to see it? It's an awful situation to be in, yes, and I hope that this would have been enough to see just how horrific Death Eaters and Voldemort were, but I fear that things haven't gotten much better in the Yaxley family. I'm so glad that Cassie was able to open to to Sirius about this, esepcially since they've known each other all their lives and they know exactly how complicated it is to turn away from all of that.

 

And this tender moment also makes my shipper's heart sing: Sirius and Cassie have some great chemistry here! And I don't think they really realize it yet. Again, lots of things are happening, and they are both only aware of a few of them. That takes some considerable skill to write. Great work, Deni!



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 06 Oct 2018 11:18 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Bloody Lines

 

OMG, THIS WAS INTENSE.

 

Can I say that I'm heartbroken that Regulus would do something like this? I know I shouldn't be! I am though!

 

It's like pieces of the puzzle are coming together for Cassie especially about that death, it sounds horrible especially since she was a child. I want to know more about this?! Sirius seems awfully concerned about Cassie considering he hates her, hmm? 

 

I liked how you portrayed the thestrals because we know about them in canon, we kinda assume that everyone in the magical community does but obviously they don't. I quite like the scene with Lily because it really shows the side of her that really loves knowledge and how in awe she is about it. I guess educating Lily is probably something Cassie isn't use to!

 

Fight scenes are so difficult to write! I think you did a good job at portraying that kinda of confusion, passion and emotion without it going into a confusing mess of words when it's difficult for the reader to pick out the action. Poor James! and my girl, Emme! I've just realised that Emme is Emmeline Vance obviously not paying attention but I love using a minor canon character into the mix.

 

I'm so glad that I've got chapters left and I'm not waiting for the next chapter to find out when happens. what will I do when I've run out of chapters?!

 

- Abbi

 

RvG - Team Gold

 



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 05 Oct 2018 09:50 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Silvery Wings

 

Deni

So you said this is one of your favourite chapters to write and I can see why. it's been my favourite so far. It's got a lot going on in it but it all flows really well.

 

The first scene is really intense, poor Cassie. I guess you can see Sirius concern but it all seems very harsh! I think Emme is my favourite character but she's so real but also so over the top? She tells it like it to the point of being so blunt. it's the best. 

 

this fic feels so old school because it reminds me of reading classic marauders' fic when I was 16 or so (showing my age!). The dream sequences are wonderful and so interesting, there is a lot there in Cassie's mind to unpick, lovely description there. I loved the scene in the classroom, it is quite trope-y this scene but it's perfect for it! I adore that memory involved Sirius and just how wonderfully freeing it seemed. 

 

I can't believe that her patronas is a Thestral!! That's so interesting because it's stated that it's really rare for patronas to be magical beasts (I'm sure it was?) but it's a really cool one. It's obvious that this death has had a huge effect on her. I need to know more about this! another factor which is interesting is that none of her friends seem to know about it. Why wouldn't she mention it? what is she hiding about it? so many questions!! I must read on obviously!

 

- Abbi xo

 

RvG - Team Gold.

 

 



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 04 Oct 2018 09:55 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: A White Flag

 

Hey

 

(It's me again!)

 

I thought this chapter was so interesting the way you've structured it. I like the two different friendship groups reactions to the fall out from the argument. Cassie seems to have herself some good friends! I felt meeting Prya and Eddie was better for her, I liked the little details of her past with that set of friends. How conflicted Cassie because of her family and friends on the 'dark' side but they seem to be good friends and they share a lot of history. I think this chapter is really good because it fleshes out more of her relationships.

 

I really like how they have different reactions, I really love that Lily and the others were so mad with Cassie because they care that much. It's quite heartwarming but I don't suppose that Cassie wanted that! She's busy doing her tough girl routine. This is such an awesome chapter at developing her character, it's so well written because a lot of it comes through Cassie's actions and dialogue. We don't need Cassie to just dictate stuff about her personality to the audience.

 

I have to have squee for Cassie in the last scene, it's so cool that scouts will be coming to watch her. I think it's interesting that she had kinda let go of her dreams of being a Quidditch in light of the coming war. I'm so glad for her that she was able to re-light that hope. It's nice.

 

- Abbi xo

 

RvG - Team Gold

 



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 03 Oct 2018 03:57 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Scales

Hi Deni! I’m here for Team Red for October’s RvG (and also because I was gonna review this chapter anyways and this kills two birds with one stone).

 

I really love your descriptions in the start of this chapter - especially when you start talking about the thestrals. I love that I can really picture the scene and feel what Cassie’s feeling in that moment.

 

Anyways, you had me terrified that something terrible was going to happen this chapter based on your tweets. So I’m, uh, very happy that it wasn’t as angsty as I was expecting it to be. Reflecting on one’s worst memory isn’t exactly a walk in the park, but hey, at least none of the main characters are dead (yet).

 

Speaking of that memory, wow. So Cassie has actually met Voldemort. And oh god that’s got to be traumatic, watching someone die like that, especially given how young she was at the time.

 

But also, look at Sirius! Actually not being a total ass! Wow! We’ve come so far! I loved the little comment about them walking back into Hogwarts “with the sort of strut that only a born and raised pure-blood could manage” because they both definitely have the type of parentage that would’ve taught them to have a poker face in any situation.

 

“No one goes to Azkaban for ten years and comes out the same” DENI WHAT THE HELL. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME. I’M NOT OKAY.

 

*takes a deep breath and calms down*

 

I’m also glad that Sophie isn’t necessarily angry at Cassie anymore - and I love where you’ve ended this chapter. Cassie’s grown so much in the course of this story and is fully ready to fight back instead of just toeing the line.

 

Great chapter, as always, and I’m excited for the next!!

 

-Taylor



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 03 Oct 2018 03:18 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Black and Yaxley


DENI!!

WOW! HOW MUCH DRAMA DID YOU PACK INTO THIS CHAPTER?!

This chapter was amazing and just so intense that fight with Sirius was on another level. All the dialogue in that fight was so powerful, It was obvious that both of them believe they are right. It's obvious why these two are clashing as obviously two very passionate people that you've written all perfectly. I can see that chemistry that I mentioned in the last chapter is like on speed in this chapter! haha!

I love the friendship vibes that are going on this in chapter too! I thought emme was hilarious with her rant and it was a fun interaction. You've got more serious aspect to the friendship to with their concerns about Sophie and Mary while obviously Cassie wasn't friends with them but she's still concerned enough to want to help even if she's making Lily do it. I love strong Lily in this chapter (her line about stopping voldemort). This chapter has really brought forward what's going on in the wider world.


I loved this chapter so much! It had it all laughs, tension, friendship and DRAMA.


- Abbi xo


RvG - Team Gold.



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 03 Oct 2018 11:35 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: The Thestrals

 

 

Hi Deni!

 

 

So I thought you had some really gorgeous description in this chapter. I thought the opening few lines were well written and just lovely for setting the chapter up. You had some great character development for Cassie in this chapter, really starting to dig into her character and it's so interesting to watch this all unfold. 

 

 

I love that we got some interaction with Sirius! I love a brooding Sirius! I'm feeling that chemistry already in their conversation (or should I say argument!). I do think it shows that Cassie really cares about her friends too much, she's obviously a very loyal and strong willed character that you've written and I'm sure will develop more as the story goes on. I'm so interested in her being able to see the thestrals, it opened up a whole new can of worms for the story! I thought the way you described that scene was perfect from the description of the creatures themselves to Cassie's inner monologue. everything was so well written in that scene.

 

 

I love how every chapter has added something to Cassie's story, slowly introducing all of the plot points and building on that. It's a really great start to this story and I hope we'll getting some answers in the future chapters!

 

 

- Abbi xo

 

 

RvG - Team Gold.

 



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 02 Oct 2018 10:32 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Scales

HELLO YOU ASKED FOR MY THOUGHTS AND I AM HERE WITH A LOT OF THEM IN WHAT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO BE A HOT UNORGANIZED MESS!

 

First of all, it was SO poetic that a baby thestral would arrive when Cassie was off on her own and distressed. This poor little thing just seems so young and lonely, just like Cassie and it's interesting it comes up so close to her but it's SO COOL she got to pet it. Like maybe she'll finally embrace this thing that's definitely apart of her and move foward to fight.

 

Honestly, when I realized she was running into the forest, my first thought was WEREWOLF, so I'm not totally surprised she ran into Sirius. I originally thought the hooves of the thestral were James! I love seeing Cass and Sirius getting along here, even joking around as she fixes his scratch and one of the things I really noticed in this scene is their familiarity! You can really tell how well they know each other when they're talking and that growing up together has allowed them to have a different kind of relationship than they may realize. AND THAT FLASHBACK, LIKE I DON

T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN! IT WAS WILD! I think it was so Voldemort to be like "one child may stay" but I can't even imagine how you chose which child and poor Cass for having to be the one to stay!

 

Cassie and Sirius strolling through school soaking wet and covered in mud is classic and I love them just skipping the entire day. I'm a big fan of their new-ish friendship and love how it's developing so far (also, their almost moment in the dorm before she ran out!)! Except, ok, that line, "no one goes to Azkaban for 10 years and comes out the same," ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS DENI?" I think I'm dead

 

Anyway, great job, another wonderful chapter; I'm dying to know what's next. Still not in on Sophie but I love how Cassie ends this chapter, so determined to fight. I'm so excited for more! 



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 27 Sep 2018 09:39 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Faded Yellow

Hello! I'm here for the 2018-2019 House Cup opener, as well as getting started back on this great story!

 

I can imagine the muggle photographs look quite strange to Cassie but I really like that you included them. I also love how you've used Lily's bedroom to contrast Cassie's home life. For her it was cold and sterile and organised, and nothing like Lily's warm and cuddly one. It really makes me feel for Cassie.

 

Hm not sure if I like Eddie or not yet. I mean, I do, he seems sweet enough, but he's also on the bad side. Hm... Oh, who am I kidding, I love bad boys :P I like how that scene with him really raised the tension of the story and the position that Cassie is in. It made me remember how dangerous and scary the First Wizarding War must have been.

 

Not going to lie, I squealed a little bit when Sirius arrived :P Even though he was there briefly, I can already tell I'm going to love the way you write his character, and I especially can't wait to see more of him and Cassie together. I can already smell the tension and bickering and I'm completely invested in it :D

 

Great chapter, Deni!



Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 02 Sep 2018 04:21 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Better To Run While You Still Can

oh wow cassie really did hang out with the would-be death eaters a lot :I

i mean, i get it that they all grew up together, their families were..well, obviously not exactly friends since i don't think they're quite capable of that, but friendly...so i'm not exactly surprised at cassiethe fifteen-year-old cassie seems quite different to the one we're used to and i'm glad she managed to steer herself away from her death eater-y friends.

 

and that dream...omg i'm actually really bad at deciphering what dreams could mean so i'm dying to know :o

 

i laughed out loud at the silly yaxley family motto :P but awww, sirius' card was very cute and i like how they're all surprised he actually did it. i wonder if cassie got him a card or a gift? probably not :o

 

but really, pyra - how can she expect cassie to hang out in the slytherin common room after everything went down? i don't think she realises the gravity of the situation. as much as cassie has her last name to protect her, i don't think it's enough anymore :I but okay, sirius' reaction to pyra coming over was hilarious :D

 

omg how do you come up with this stuff?!?! 'The last Slytherin to enter was twenty-nine years ago... He was trying to set us on fire' - the fat lady should  be a stand up comedian!

 

i must say i like this lily that confiscates things like firewhisky from james and then proceeds to drink it. and pyra is cool, i hope she's not all that into the death eater stuff.

 

and of course this chapter couldn't be fluff and birthdays and smiles...i feel sorry for sophie, but that girl needs to get herself together and realise that cassie is not the enemy. i also feel sorry for cassie because she knows most of what's going on but is pretty much powerless to stop any of it except to prank the slytherins <.<

 

this was a wonderful chapter and i can't wait for more!

 

kris



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 01 Sep 2018 07:56 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Better To Run While You Still Can

I almost wrote "Quodpot Review: Match 1" at the top of this review, so clearly I'm still not quite fully recovered from the finale.

 

I really like that you started this chapter with a memory - it shows just how much has shifted for Cassie in a year. As much as she's always felt a little on the outside of their group, it's nothing compared to now, where she's completely out. And that second dream... she's had something like that before, hasn't she? So I'm assuming that's probably foreshadowing something.

 

Her birthday festivities were nice, and Sirius' card was so on-point for him. I still think he's a bit rude, but he's getting better? I mean, I'm not screaming at him  in all caps in these reviews anymore, so that's progress? Oh well, I guess his karma is the fact that the full moon fell on his birthday this year and pushed back his celebration.

 

Alsoooo, I really loved this line: "It was still odd. How the definite us and them had suddenly become we. It happened so fast."

 

I'm glad that the girls were so accepting of Pyra - she seems like a really sweet girl who's trapped in the middle of this and doesn't seem to really buy the pureblood mania but also doesn't want to fight it either. So a bit like Cassie at  the beginning of this, really. Although Sophie's a whole other story. While I think it's a bit crap of her to somehow blame Cassie and say 'I hope you're proud,' I'd imagine that a lot of that's just grief manifesting as anger? At least, I don't think she blames Cassie? (she has no reason to other than prejudice based on her last name, so if it turns out she does genuinely blame cassie, then i'll be annoyed with her)

 

BUT CASSIE. GIRL. WHY ARE YOU GOING OUTSIDE ON A FULL MOON. There is absolutely no possible way that this could go wrong.

 

Excited for the next chapter!!

 

-Taylor

 



Name: adorably cute (Signed) · Date: 25 Aug 2018 09:26 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Better To Run While You Still Can

I loved that you started this with a memory to look back on old times with the Slytherins. It shows how far Cassie has come and we get a really good idea of just how long she's been second guessing her spot with them! And then that second kind of spooky dream, what's going on here Cassie? what is your subconscious trying to tell you?

 

I loved the birthday stuff! The presents wer great and I thought Sirius' card was hilarious! It was a great gift-thing for two people who are just becoming friends. I like that Pyra joined Lily and Emme to celebrate Cassie's birthday and thought their little bit of interaction was awesome. I'm glad that Cassie and Pyra can still maintain their friendship throughout the rest of Cassie's drama with the Slytherins.

 

But such a sad ending! Sophie is THE WORST. I'm sorry, but she is! Like, she's hurt, ok, but I'm just not a fan. I really feel for the girls though because this is definitely going to be hard to work through and I'm hoping Cassie is alright wherever she just ran off too.

 

Best line of this chapter comes from Pyra: Subtle isn't a Gryffindor strong point, is it? OMG dying if that's not truth 



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 22 Aug 2018 10:05 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: The Thestrals

Hey Deni! Review 3/3.

 

 

Aw, Lily is adorable in this chapter. Yes, she should find James and sneak a snog in. ;) Remus is also adorable here, too. I want to give them all hugs. And/or be their friend.

 

 

And the threstrals! Another layer to the story! I'm so intrigued as to why they resonate with Cassie. Part of me is curious as to whom she saw pass away, but I know that this is incredibly sensitive information and that she might be able to reflect more openly about this later on. And I wonder what that buzzing is?

 

 

Sirius: I want to know more about his history with Cassie. They must have grown up with each other. Surely they know that they're kind of on the same side? Sirius seems more outspoken about it than Cassie... Though Cassie is still torn, whereas Sirius is not. They're both so hot headed. I'm looking forward to see how their relationship develops! 



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 22 Aug 2018 09:46 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Faded Yellow

Hey Deni! This is review 2 of 3.

 

 

The plot thickens! I like what you do in this chapter. You set up many complex social dynamics--and we haven't officially left for Hogwarts yet. It's apparent that Cassie knows a lot of people of various blood types... and they're are too keen that she's on good terms with the 'other side.' 

 

 

Lily: she's a gem. I can see how Cassie is drawn to such a warm and strong person. I also think it's adorable how she blushes at James' letter. I am looking forward to seeing that relationship unfold!

 

 

Edmund Avery: Ummm... why is Cassie on good terms with him? I know that I, as a reader, am biased. I suppose he IS her oldest friend and all... and I sense that Cassie is in Gryffindor (she's friends with Lily, Mary [poor, poor Mary], and plays Quidditch with James), so her sense of loyalty is strong. Still... I would probably hex someone if they refered to my Muggle-born friend as a 'pet.' This just shows how peculiar Cassie's situation is.

 

 

And Sirius: I LOVE the tension between them, especially how he tries to scope out if Cassie has a Dark Mark. But WHY the tension? This leading question draws me to the next chapter, for sure!

 

 

So far, I've gleaned that whatever happened to Mary is a major plot point, as is Cassie's childhood friends choosing to be Death Eaters (or their supporters) while her Hogwarts crowd goes the other way. We know the obvious choice (choose the side of the Muggle-borns), but I have a feeling it won't be an easy journey for Cassie. I look forward to see how that plays out.



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 21 Aug 2018 11:04 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Antique Furs on a Malfoy

Hey Deni! This is 1 of 3 reviews from my thread.

 

This is also partially sponosered by my cat, who is trying to solicit cuddles from me as I type this.

 

I must say how pleased I am to be reading a Sirius/OC. I haven't read one in YEARS, so I'm feeling very nostalgic. And nothing says angst and drama like an opening scene that's a party... a party full of Death Eaters! Immediately, I'm on edge. Why are they all congregated there? As a fundraiser? An initiation? Just... for a good time?

 

And then Cassie... who is she? It's clear that she's a pureblooded witch. Since she doesn't seem too enthused to be at the party, it can mean that she's a huge introvert or that she doesn't have the same viewpoints as the Death Eaters. By the end of the chapter, the reader knows it's the latter (thankfully. And it makes her a very likeable character).

 

I get the sense that Cassie is walking on thin ice, but she doesn't quite know it yet. She feels confident in "lashing out" (leaving the party early and then leaving her family for the remainder of the summer), but does she really understand the consquences of her actions? I glean a portion of it from her mother's disapproval... the tension between Cassie and her family is really well captured, though her other family members don't make much of an appearance. (Her uncle... CREEPY)

 

And Regulus. I like how you've written him: eager to join, naive on the actuality of things, looking for approval. And no Sirius--not that Cassie would want him there anyway. I really enjoyed the dialogue between Cassie and Regulus. They have different viewpoints, but Cassie is still able to maintain positive interactions with the other side. I can't wait to see her with Lily and Co!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 16 Aug 2018 01:38 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: The Black Lake

Quodpot Review: Match 1

 

LOL I love the idea of Emme just standing up in the middle of the Great Hall to announce that Lily agreed to go on a date with James - after watching him get rejected for all those years, I imagine quite a few people were invested in whether or not anything was going to happen out of it. I love these little moments of humor, which you weave in so well with all the drama and emotion that comes with the first war.

 

I love this moment with Cassie and Remus - “do I get a stupid nickname?” I imagine that the Marauders would at least get some flack for.. well, calling themselves “Marauders,” so I love the way you weaved that in. But also the moment where Regulus just refused to acknowledge Cassie is just so telling of how much things have changed since the beginning of the story - Cassie is no longer balanced between both sides, she’s clearly on one.

 

James’ casual response of ‘so you missed saving my life so you could shag Sophie Wilson?’ immediately after waking up from literally being tortured is so on-brand for him. I love it, lol. I also agree with Cassie, I would’ve loved to see how he responded to Lily saying yes.

 

“It was nice to do something normal.” Cassie, you’re on a Hogsmeade trip with the Marauders, there’s like a 0% chance that this trip goes normally. (*reads next 500 words or so*) Yep.

 

Honestly, I’d be more surprised if a Marauders’ Hogsmeade trip *didn’t* end in some crazy chase scene. Although I have to admit, I’m surprised Snape is only just now finding out about their date - where was he when it was shouted all over the Great Hall, lol. Also I don’t know if Eddie exaggerated or if Snape is exaggerating as a way to tick of Sirius, but wow that was a serious overstatement of what actually happened between Eddie and Cassie.

 

And yay! A Cassie/Sirius interaction that doesn’t have me wanting to smack Sirius upside the head! I like that he called her out on actually enjoying the fight a little. And the iconic ‘call me by my first name moment’ happened - love it!

 

Heck yes go Cassie for coming up with the idea of flooding the dungeons - 10/10 prank idea and 10/10 execution. Eddie deserved to have to swim out of his dorm for his behavior, tbh.

 

Also I’m v excited for this Sirius/Cassie birthday stuff.

 

Anyways, I’m happy I finally got around to reviewing this story and I’m super pumped for you to release new chapters.

 

-Taylor



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 16 Aug 2018 12:38 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Down Into the Dungeons

Quodpot Review: Match 1

 

Once again, Eddie and Cassie’s relationship reminds me a lot of Snape and Lily’s. Like, there could’ve been something there, but they’re on totally different sides of this war and there’s just no getting around that. It’s clear that Eddie cares about her a lot, but clearly it’s not enough to make up for the obstacle of this war. And I agree with Cassie - of all times to make a move, Eddie picks now? Bad timing, bro.

 

Emotions are high in the Gryffindor common room (after typing this phrase i’d like to point out that this is also incredibly relevant to the hpft cr as well), and I think you’ve done a beautiful job capturing all of them. Remus feels guilty for not being there, Lily is angry as hell, Sirius is terrified then furious, and Cassie’s just trying to hold everyone together while staying together herself. I’m also curious now with Cassie’s thoughts about Remus and keeping secrets - does she know he’s a werewolf? It’s also good that Cassie was able to stop Sirius from going after Regulus - I imagine he would’ve made a huge scene and gotten himself hurt and/or into a ton of trouble.

 

And then Sirius lies to protect his brother, and I’m hoping that this moment finally gets him to understand all the crap he’s been giving Cassie for all these years and finally makes him feel guilty for it, because they’re in such similar situations. Even though he’s run away from home and doesn’t associate with them, there’s still part of him that protects Regulus from getting caught. Hopefully this’ll give him a little bit more sympathy now?

 

The letter from Leila is definitely concerning - especially because it seems like Cassie might have already screwed this up for Leila, given the fight that happened a few hours prior. Also yiiikessss to being told to make a move on Eddie or Regulus, given that she a) just cursed Regulus to get him to stop torturing James, and b) rejected Eddie’s advances not even a few hours before. The fallout from this is going to be super interesting (and definitely super messy), I can already tell.

 

Only one more chapter, and I’ll finally be caught up!

 

-Taylor



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 16 Aug 2018 10:04 AM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Bloody Lines

Quodpot Review: Match 1

 

Ok yes I am living for this scene of Cassie being super sassy with Sirius after he’s realized that he’s made some incorrect assumptions about her character. I’m incredibly curious as to what this thing is that she’s witnessed that Sirius somehow also knows about, but for now I’m just really happy that Sirius got put in his place. This feels like a significant turning point in their relationship, and I’m glad he finally got put in his place a little for all the horrible things he said.

 

Wow, Lily was really a bit oblivious to the question she asked Cassie here - you’d think she’d know what a Thestral is, unless of course she never took Care of Magical Creatures and this had no reason to know, really. But it’s good that she only had to endure that question once. Although I was fully expecting James to ask it as well, and then his question went in a TOTALLY different direction. He’s adorable being that nervous about asking Lily out, when it’s totally obvious to everyone but him that she definitely likes him now.

 

Ooh, but Sirius is going out with Sophie now? That’s an interesting development, and kind of throws a wrench in the Cassie/Sirius ship (although right now, they’re nowhere close to a ship anyways, what with sirius being an idiot and all that - also I swear i’ll stop badmouthing him eventually, but right now he deserves it). 

 

Ok, this action scene was SO WELL DONE. You manage to simultaneously capture the rapid-fire pace of everything, along with all of Cassie’s internal turmoil about getting involved in things. But her Gryffindor side eventually wins out, and she can’t help but get involved (in the most iconic way possible, in my opinion). And ohhhhh, the way you’ve written James getting hit by the Cruciatus is just… asdafhgjkl there was so much feeling behind it. That moment felt so real and raw. And the fact that Regulus was the one doing it, and taking so much joy in it, shows how much he’s changed. I mean, not only has he shifted so far from the person who was joking around with Cassie in the first chapter, but also he’s been so hardened that he doesn’t even care that the person he’s torturing is his older brother’s best friend - it shows that a good deal of humanity has been sacrificed to this cause he’s supporting. 

 

So, like, moral of the story for this review: THIS CHAPTER WAS FREAKING AMAZING, DENI.

 

-Taylor



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 15 Aug 2018 09:48 PM · [Report This]
Story:Yaxley Chapter: Silvery Wings

Quodpot Review: Match 1

 

Yikes, so walking in on all your closest friends debating whether or not you’re a Death Eater is not at all the ideal situation. And here we have Sirius again, making all sorts of assumptions and not listening to the reasoning of any of his friends. 

 

Ok but also his comment here has me curious about what Cassie was like before school, because she was clearly a very different person than she is now. And I’m starting to see a little bit of why Sirius might dislike her so much? Although, also, I really don’t think you should be judging anyone for their actions six whole years later, especially when they were only 11 at the time. I was also a monster at 11, so like, same.

 

Also… why is James in a sheet? It’s such a random detail in the middle of such an intense scene and it’s hilarious and I love it.

 

I also really commend Cassie on her ability to forgive her friends for gossiping about her like that so easily - heaven knows that takes a lot of moral strength, especially given how upset she was about it the night before.

 

This Patronus scene was incredibly interesting as well - I love how no one actually pointed that Lily and James basically have matching patronuses, but the implication was there. And I feel like it’s definitely significant that the memory she used was of Sirius, even though they clearly don’t get along right now (and I’m still annoyed with him). But also, her Patronus is a thestral? That’s really intriguing, and I can’t wait to see the backstory behind that (although I think you already wrote about it in your WJ somewhere? may have to go back and find that). Also there’s clearly something Sirius thought he knew about Cassie that her seeing thestrals disproved, as the ending of this chapter proves.

 

Alright, see you next chapter!! (i am horrendously bad at both greetings and sign-offs so i’ve resigned to making them as brief as possible)

 

-Taylor



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