okay, i'm fine now. but honestly, this is just such a cool and funny plot idea, one that people would read and say, why didn't i think of that?!
'Hogwarts School of Ghosts and Sceptres' - i laughed out loud at this :D
i can't believe you wrote this using ony dialogue so i'm totally amazed at that and it reminds me of the movie Locke - idk if you've seen it but it's basically tom hardy just driving and talking on the phone. that's literally the whole movie but you get involved with the plot and the characters, quite similar to what you've managed to do here.
the baron is probably the coolest guy here, obviously. he doesn't say much heh :D
the nick&toad discussion totally reminds me of C-3PO and R2-D2! :D
i'm also impressed by how you wrote scottish dialect (i'm not an expert but it soundedread genuine to me) and how you managed for all the characters to sound so different that ialways knew who was talking :)
and ahh, 'or er, siezed a castle at all...' - definitely my favourite line!
'is your head still attached? well yes. then no' - my second favourite line(s)!
lovely funny story - thanks for writing something that made me laugh out loud for real :D
MY DEAR BIANCA. I'm here with your requested review!
You wrote a story entirely in dialogue!! That's really impressive. Especially so because each of the characters is so well defined, and at a certain point I can tell exactly who is speaking, without you ever having to put in dialogue tags. Each character's voice was so distinct.
Bless Sir Nicholas, being the one voice of reason. Sir Patrick is kind of like what I'd expect Gilderoy Lockhart to be as a ghost 500 years later, exaggerating his heroic deeds that really aren't that impressive :P
Toad cracks me up. Like, is he just the ghost of an actual toad? XD What was especially funny was that everyone else seems to understand exactly what he's saying. He's kind of like Chewbacca, only smaller and much less furry, in that I can't understand him on his own but the other characters can, and it's through their responses that I can figure out what Toad is saying. He had some smartass comments about Sir Patrick's head, hahaha.
But the greatest dialogue by far would have to be the Bloody Baron. Honestly that was so funny.
Peeves, that jerk. Not even a real ghost! He had to ruin everything. :P This was such a silly story. I think I missed the bit on your request where it said this was a humour story, and so the actual story caught me by surprise a bit :P But honestly I loved this. I can't believe it doesn't have more reviews yet! So yeah, I think you have nothing to worry about - it's a highly enjoyable fic - it's a silly plot, cleverly written, and manages to tell a whole story entirely in dialogue (which is kind of an intimidating sounding task if I'm honest.) I loved this, thanks for requesting it in my thread!
P.S., by the way, did you know that an earthworm has 5 hearts.