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Name: Sleepingbagonthesofa (Signed) · Date: 15 Oct 2018 09:30 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty six

 

Hi Sarah!! I have been so awful at reviewing but I promise I have been here for every chapter and LOVING it as we go. So here's a rambling and incoherent review for you!!

 

I have to agree with Taylor because - "I panicked! She's so pretty!" "You're part veela! You're so pretty!" - Is the most perfect bit of dialogue!!!

 

I loved Louis in this chapter (I mean you know I love me some Louis Weasley) he goes from being the flapping idiot to FINALLY pulling himself together an that scene at the end just made my heart melt. It was so perfect!

"And the entire time, he's staring down at her, rapturously in love, like the sun, moon, and stars revolve around her." I JUST... I want to know whatever he said to Maeve because her reaction was amazing. He'd better not mess it up now!!

Anyway, onto Carson and James who I guess I probably should have opened with but DUDE LOUIS AND MAEVE JUST GOT TOGETHER. Aaaanyway... Meg trying to get Carson to dress cute for her date was brilliant but I'm with my girl on this one, you do not wear skirts in the Scottish winter lol! She is just overly practical about it all and her approach is just... so Carson!!

 

James pretending to take her to Madame Pudifoot's was brilliant! There is literally no place she would fit into less and the moment she works it out is perfect. They are doing Valentines day in a very them way and it works so well for them as characters. (Also babys first valentines day! Yay!) La Escalera sounds AMAZING!!! Can I go? James nailed it! Their relationship is hilarious and they are so perfect for each other. You've shown that brilliantly here.

 

Overall this was a really well written chapter. I loved how you showed each character's personality so well (Meg continues to just be amazing in a very Meg way) but really all I'm taking away from this chapter is MY BOY DID GOOD!!!

 

I apologise for this mess but I loved it, just in case you couldn't tell! :P I can't wait for the next chapter and Happy 100 Reviews!!

All my love!!

Deni x

 

Also this was for Team Gold for October's RvG!

 

 



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 03 Oct 2018 09:26 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty six

Hi Sarah! I’m here for Team Red for October’s RvG (and also because I was gonna review this chapter anyways and this kills two birds with one stone).

 

“I panicked! She’s so pretty!” “You’re part veela! You’re so pretty!” is possibly my favourite piece of dialogue from this chapter. Louis is a mess and Meg has absolutely no filter, and having Freddy witness that made it even better. (Speaking of which… I wonder if anything happened between the two of them since they were left alone on Valentine’s Day…)

 

Also, James and Carson are definitely the least “Valentine’s Day” couple ever, and I love them so much for it. (Truth be told, so am I, lol.) This chapter just really showed how perfectly James knows Carson, and vice versa, and it was absolutely adorable. And I love how much Meg was trying to get them to act even slightly romantic, and they were just… not having it.

 

I love that James tricked Carson and made her think they were going to Puddifoot’s. Also “I’d rather be eaten by a froco” followed by “Too soon, maybe?” is also a close contender for best dialogue in this chapter. THERE WERE SO MANY GOOD LINES IN THIS CHAPTER I CAN’T CHOOSE, DAMMIT SARAH. But of course he found a Mexican restaurant in Hogsmeade - that’s so perfect for them and truly makes for the best Valentine's Day date that James could've put together for Carson.

 

AND LOUIS. OMG. THE BOY FINALLY GOT HIS SHIT TOGETHER. GOD BLESS. Now, to hope he doesn’t manage to screw everything up again, because he seems to have a knack for doing that.

 

Anyways, lovely chapter, and I can’t wait for the next one!!

 

-Taylor



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 01 Oct 2018 06:13 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty five

Chapter 26 went up, and I'm forcing myself to actually get my shit together and review this chapter by telling myself I'm not allowed to read it until I've reviewed this chapter.

 

Omg I love how much you built up the end of last chapter and it was for literally nothing - it was just Meg being really overdramatic lol.

 

I loved this whole Quidditch scene so much, with James and Carson just feeding off of each other in front of the scouts, and Carson being her snarky self with that Cannons scout. And OMG I love that Oliver and Justin casually crashed the Gryffindor victory party - that's so them, omg.

 

Anyways, I'm keeping this review short so I can read this next chapter finally, but let me say that I'm not at all surprised that Meg has more opinions than Carson about a Valentine's date. And was Louis' full name not already Louis I-did-something-stupid Weasley? XD

 

-Taylor



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 30 Sep 2018 08:32 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: sixteen

Hey Sarah! Here for the last review (for now... definitely going to keep reading this fic!).

 

Anothr night out... to help poor Vero! HOW she ends up going out with her ex and his group of friends is beyond me... but I'm glad that Freddy and Carson are there to help... not exactly balance things, since they're all kind of hot messes by the end of it, but... spin this horrifyingly awkward situation into a girls' night out with equally as cringeworthy events as being in that group by yourself. Does that make sense? It definitely brings back some memories of some nights out myself, and I'm the sort of person who would rather stay home than deal with all of that, lol. Maybe Carson, Freddy, and Vero still have that spark of youth that I no longer have, hahaha, so they aren't quite where I am in life. Or, maybe they'll never be, since they seem way cooler than me, so for now, I will party vicariously through them, hahaha.

 

Then that brunch scene! Angelina and Alicia are absolutely hysterical in trying to set up Carson and Freddy. I can imagine them whispering together about how well their kids get along and then fantasizing about them dating and getting married and that would make Angelina and Alicia related... one big happy family! Is is wrong of me to kind ship Freddy and Carson now, for the sake of these women? I think they'd do well for a while, but it wouldn't last... maybe you could write an AU of this fic? That'd be so amusing to read! Back to what actually happens: Carson and Freddy quickly botch Angelina and Alicia's plans in the most amusing way!!!

 

That's it for now, but I'll be back for more! 



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 29 Sep 2018 11:11 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: fifteen

Hey Sarah! Here for another requested review. (I'll get to my last one tomorrow)

 

Christmas holidays! It's always a busy time of year, and I enjoy how you write the first part of Carson's holiday. It's nice to see that Carson and James continue their Taco Tuesday tradition outside of school; it's a real testament to their friendship. I would have liked to have seen the tension between Oliver and James played out a little more--even if James is just a friend (for now). I imagine Oliver being an overprotective father, and James being thrown off guard from his overprotectiveness because he sees Carson only as a friend (or does he? Hmm). But I have a feeling that might come later...

 

 

Especially after that shopping scene! James muttering that he notices Carson being a girl... I wonder exactly what he means by that. Perhaps it's sometimes her being "girly" (into clothes, make up, etc.) or that she's female (and attractive). I definitely am senseing a shift in James, though Carson still seems to be a little oblivious to everything. I think she may be developing feelings for him, too, but I don't think she'll realize it for sometime. Looking forward to seeing how that unfolds!

 

And congrats to Olver on his Hall of Fame induction! That's absolutely brilliant, and I can totally see him getting in. I hope this is included in a futre chapter! :D



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 29 Sep 2018 10:53 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: fourteen

Hey Sarah! Here for your requested review!

 

This is where I left off and boy... a lot happens in this chapter!!! Especially for Meg.

 

First, the pregnancy scare: wowzers. It can be a stressful life event, and I am glad that Meg had Carson and the Hufflepuff girls to support her, no matter what. It's something that often gets overlooked in stories: strong female friendships. This chapter is a good example of that. We need more stories like that out in the world!

 

And her realization to break up with Tim: all right! If she feels like it's the right thing to do... but I'm glad she had her friends to dissaude her from drunkenly calling him at 2am. That wouldn't be so great. Tim deserves more than that. And I wish she plucked enough courage to end things properly! She's made it worse by saying "take a break" because that gives Tim hope that they can get back together. Gahh! Come on, Meg, I know that you've had a bit of a scare, but get it together!

 

Some other thoughts:

--Love the inclusion of Taylor Swift! I've never gone on a car ride specifically to belt T Swift, but I image this group of girls really jamming out!

--Louis' comments on girls: I really want to meet Victoire and Dominique. They sound awesome!

--Fred better nor screw things up with Meg. She's "on a break" (whatever that means), and I hope he doesn't rush things. I do ship them (no offense, Tim), but I have a feeling I may be hiding my face in my hands at his shenanigans.

--And Carson leaning on James because he was closer than a pillow: SURE. SURE, Carson, THAT is the reason. Uh huh. Okay. ;) 



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 15 Sep 2018 02:16 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: six

Hi again!

 

Oh dear. This group have clearly decided that the best cure for a hangover is hair of the dog. Which in this case I really don't think it was :P

 

It's not too nice but I can kind of understand James laughing at Albus. I'm much less sympathetic towards my little brother when he's hungover than I am towards my friends, for some reason. Seeing Albus struggling with his first hangover was kind of funny. And Meg being still drunk when they wake up the next morning. The mimosas certainly weren't a good idea for her.

 

I'm assuming wizarding drinking laws are a lot more relaxed than Muggle ones, because I was a little surprised that all of those teenagers were allowed to go to bottomless brunch, but there are some places that just don't care too much. They were lucky that they didn't get caught by any of the teachers at school, though - I can't imagine two days of drinking would have gone down too well!

 

And Carson was right! Fred likes Meg and he hadn't even realised until she pointed it out to him. I actually feel a bit sorry for him because it's obviously kind of hit him from nowhere and now he doesn't know what to do. That's going to be an interesting storyline to develop!

 

I have to admit that I'm getting a little confused about who some of the more minor characters are at the moment, possibly because they haven't had as much screen time but they've been mentioned at different points, and I'm trying to fit them into what I know. But I'm sure I'll get more familiar with them as the story goes on. I'm already getting to know the Quidditch team - and I feel a bit sorry for James trying to show his authority here when he's got Carson and Fred playing up in practice!

 

Sian :)



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 15 Sep 2018 01:59 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: five

Hi Sarah! I've been meaning to come back to this story for ages and I've finally got a bit of time!

 

I think I've said this in previous reviews, but I really enjoy Carson's narration in this story. The win for best original character was well deserved, because your characterisation is so strong here, and I love all of the little quips and snarky comments that Carson makes either in her head, or sometimes aloud to other characters.

 

Fred is one of my favourites in this so far. Him and Carson seem to have such an easy friendship, and they bounce off each other really well, especially in the Quidditch practice when they're making fun of James.

 

The Quidditch is obviously going to be a big theme in this story - and it's obvious that James thinks it's worth spending a lot of time on! I think I'd have been dying after the second lap of the pitch, let alone the tenth. But James's enthusiasm and excitement about having a team that might be good enough to win is really adorable.

 

And of course it's starting to come out that Oliver Wood is Carson's dad here. It hasn't made too much of an appearance so far but it's bound to - and it was interesting seeing it in two capacities here. I don't blame Carson for being so fed up she wanted a drink after Vero was teasing her. Besides the fact that their parents are friends, that's probably another reason that Carson gets on so well with James and Fred - they can all understand what it's like to have famous parents and everything that comes with that.

 

The final scene was really fun to read. It was nice to see everyone relaxing and Carson might have uncovered a secret even Fred hadn't realised! I'll he interested to see if she tries to play matchmaker at all in the future!

 

Sian :)



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 02 Sep 2018 10:03 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twelve

Hey Sarah! Here for the third requested review!

 

If I were Professor Dupont, I would have switched the Potions groups up to avoid that amount of conflict. Gah! I also feel Carson's frustration at having two potions for the group... I think it's safe to say that we've all been there whilst in group work. And that date... is awkward! Drew kinda screws up. And Carson tries... but it just doesn't work. My shipping heart has a keen suggestion as to which person Carson would gel with, just saying! ;)

 

When Carson explains Thanksgiving to her British friends: is her phrasing "our ancestors" refer to Native Americans or the first European wizarding settlers? In your universe, do American witches and wizards consider themselves descended from magical Native Americans? If so, why do they celebrate Thanksgiving if it marks the beginning of prosecution (which the European wizarding settlers also had in Europe before coming to the 'new world.') That bit was a little confusing, but I do enjoy her first explanation about overeating/drinking and setting ovens on fire. I wonder if the American wizarding community has their own Thanksgiving traditions that alters from the No-Maj ones I know about? I guess I'll find out in the next chapter!

 

My favorite parts of this chapter were the stats. It's abundantly clear that you've spent a lot of time and energy into this part of your story, and it's really paid off! Sometimes it all goes over my head a little bit, but this is Carson in her element--and James, too. I like the tension over these stats. It not only adds depth to their relationship (as captain/player, as friends, as something more); it adds the possibility for growth. Having clashing opinions can get heated sometimes, and Carson and James seem to be able to bring themselves back down (for now). I'm interested in seeing this tension being unresolved for a longer period of time (across multiple chapters, maybe). I think that would be great development for your characters. I can't wait to read a section where they discuss stats.  Overall, what I'm getting is that there are many complex layers unfolding in your story (which is why I'm so keen on this tension over stats). Keep running with that complexity. I am looking forward to what comes next!



Author's Response:

Group projects are the bane of my existence! I am so happy to never have to do another one now that I'm not in school (and it's definitely possible that I've put some of those feelings in this haha). I have zero doubts that you are a better teacher than Professor Dupont and would find a much better way to solve this problem than just allowing them to turn two potions in. I love your shipping heart! James does too, he's definitely on board with your suggestions :) Carson's thanksgiving explanation was definitely a lot of her sarcasm, but looking back over it I can see how it could be confusing! The stats were definitely one of the things that I spent a little while fleshing out...and one of the things that have remained msot unchanged. I tried to really explain it as best I could and hoped it came off ok but know that for a lot of people this stuff is pretty dry! I'm glad you enjoyed how they discussed it though; it's definitely a repeating theme so I hope you continue to enjoy their banter! Thanks for the reviews Abby! Hope you continue Carson and her antics!



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 02 Sep 2018 08:48 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: eleven

Hey Sarah! Here for your second requested review.

 

You say you missed writing Oliver and Alicia and that they're fun to write. They're so fun to read, but you know who else is fun to read? Grandmother Wood! She's awful, two-faced, and so judgemental. She adds a great dynamic to this chapter because I'm left wanting to know more about the Wood family. Here are some rhetorical questions I've asked as a reader: Why are Carson's grandparents so snobby and vile? How has that impacted Oliver growing up in a family like that? Is that why he became so passionate in Quidditch? How has this family dynamic impacted Carson? She seems to brush if off easily, but deep down does it really bother her? And why was there a falling out? Carson's siblings don't seem to know much about their grandparents. There's so much I want to know!

 

James is such a good person of support in this chapter. I really like him as Quidditch Captain, too, though I would have gotten mad at Carson when she said "yes" to less running while I said "no," hahaha! James seems really laid back about that overstep of authority, and he must really like her, too. My shipping heart sang a lot in this chapter. I also like how James includes Carson's younger siblings at the end of the chapter. He's such a sweetheart!

 

I also really like Vero. She's so snarky and says some of the funniest things, I think! And did Freddy really miss this funeral because of a test? George takes it as well as I'd expected. I want to know why he wasn't there!



Author's Response:

Oh my gosh, Grandmother Wood is awful! But that's totally why Carson and Oliver are so close--Oliver did not want his relationship with Carson to be anything like his own with his parents! James really crushes the whole support thing in this chapter! But he's definitely a little more understanding about the overstep thing than he would be normally--she just lost her grandfather (even if she's upset about it) and she DID agree to do his quidditch stats. But I mean yeah, he does really like her too. Just have to get our girl on board! I love Vero! She's definitely got some good lines and really developed into a fun character! I'm glad you like her too. Freddy did have a test--but James, Lou, and Meg did not exactly get permission to leave school to come to this funeral, so an absence of a larger number of them would have been noticed a little more (especially from a class where there was an exam). Instead, Lou got to fail at charming Grandmother Wood :)



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 01 Sep 2018 11:25 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: ten

Sarah! This is the first of your requested reviews!

 

This chapter has so much excitement (and partying, lol, a constantly reoccurring theme I've quickly gathered)! I like how you capture the nerves of the team before the first match against Slytherin. I like James as a captain. His antics beforehand slightly reminded me of Oliver, but it's a time like this when there's proof that there's an actual method to his madness. Also, I am a fan of Carson's nickname (CDUB), and I'm glad the girls showed their support! I wonder if they'll wear the shirts during their House's match against Gryffindor... hmmm...

 

The drunken chaos is also very amusing. It seems like they're a group of teens with some good heads on their shoulders. I wonder if they'll attempt to pull an elaborate prank at some point? I think that would be fun to read about. Does Filch still work there? He could maybe catch one of them. Probably Freddy, because he's Freddy. Though Louis would be an excellent candidate for this scenario. Anyway, back to your actual chapter...

 

Poor Meg! I would be mortified if that happened to me! Carson cheers her up, so there's that. I hope nothing more stems from this incident. People can be cruel about things like this. And another worry I have in this chapter is what on earth Neville wants. I have three guesses. 1. Oliver's here with some news about the family. 2. Her MOTHER is there with some news. 3. Carson is accused somehow of cheatingin Quidditch. All of these scenarios make me nervous! What a cliffhanger to end on... the next chapter has to wait until tomorrow, ah!

 

P.S. I notice how touchy-touchy James and Carson are. And how concerned he is at the end of the chapter. Ahem. The chemistry is there. Just sayin'. ;) 



Author's Response:

It was so interesting trying to capture the nerves of a whole team, like I had to try to get into each of their heads to make sure that they were all acting right! I actually think there's a conversation at some point in this where Carson compares James to Oliver; there's definitely some similarities there! This is definitely a good strong friend group--between the t-shirts and games, they're got a good foundation between them! Poor Meg, indeed! Can you imagine? She's got some good stuff coming up! I love your PS...James and Carson are definitely more touchy-touchy...now just when will something happen? :)



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 01 Sep 2018 03:28 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty four

Even though I read this, like, a week ago, it's taken me this long to come back and write a review. You said you were going to be better, Taylor, and you have NOT BEEN BETTER.

 

Anyways, frocos seem like the single most Florida magical creature to ever exist. Like, you just take the already-terrifying-and-ridiculous thing that exists in Florida, and just make it the tiniest bit more terrifying-and-ridiculous by making it fly. Sounds about right.

 

I love the contrasts in this chapter - like, you can really see the clear difference between Carson's relationship with her mom and her mom's side of the family and her relationship with her dad. And I really hate it for her - but it also shows so much of why she's so hesitant to open up to people. But still, I definitely wanted to smack her grandmother with the coral comment.. like, why are we obsessed with Carson's outfit choice when someone just LOST THEIR FIANCÉ BECAUSE THEY LEFT OUT THE FACT THAT THEY HAD A DAUGHTER FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE? James' annoyance is 100% justified but I'm really happy  that he was there for Carson because she really needed it right about then.

 

And of course, as always, I am LIVING for the Oliver and Alicia moments in this chapter. Alicia being like 'we have to redo the whole wedding color scheme now!' and Oliver asking James 'are you sure this is who you want to date?' is just amazing and I loved it so much. And I love the idea of Oliver and Uncle Justin getting James super drunk as a form of bonding, haha.

 

From this short scene at the end, clearly Carson and James missed something during the time they were gone - but I have absolutely no idea what it is. You've got me super excited for the next chapter to figure out what exactly happened.

 

But like, this chapter was amazing.

 

-Taylor



Author's Response:

Yay, I'm glad you liked it! Like honestly, it totally would not surprise me if crocodiles could fly. "terrifying and ridiculous" is the best way to describe them so like why shouldn't they fly? Florida be Florida in ANY universe. I was so excited to finally bring Carson's mom into this and the contrasts are SO important-like the way she grew up with her mom is absolutely why she's so hesitant to open up to people. So it's especially interesting that Carson is opening up to James here. I mean, finally, girl, but yes, she definitely needed him there at that moment! Her mom is rough! Oliver and Alicia were in fine form this chapter! Peak Wood family, really! Like, I honestly can't see Oliver and Justin finding any other way to bond besides getting James super drunk--Carson was their shared daughter for a while and I picture them mostly (even now with separate wives and other children) just mostly not knowing what they should be doing with her! When in doubt, go for a drink. Haha working on the next chapter now! Thanks for reviewing Taylor!



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 28 Aug 2018 07:37 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: three

Hey Sarah! This is the 3rd requested review!

 

 

For fun's sake, this was a funny chapter! It would be great if 'fun' were actually American slang. And the Purple Pygmy Puffs! What songs would they sing?

 

 

Owl or text: you've mentioned some (pretty niffty) Muggle inventions in this story thus far. I'm wondering when the wizarding world got so equipped to keep up with the times. In this story, was there a big push to integrate with Muggle tech after the Wizarding War? Or is the tech integration more of an American Wizarding thing? I'm so curious to know! I think it's cool that this is an aspect of your story.

 

 

And we meet the squad in this chapter! Louis is kind of how I imagined him to be, hahahaha. James is so sassy. Freddy is... well, Freddy. Dan and Liam and Meg seem like cool kids, too. I look forward to seeing what misadventures they have together. Carson seems to fit in well with them. She's a pretty easy going yet rambuncious character thus far. With all of this transition, I wonder how she's coping with the big change of transfering to Hogwarts? New country, new school, new friends, new system!

 

 

Keep up the great work!



Author's Response:

The Purple Pygmy Puffs!! I mention one of their hits later int he story, it's called Girl Next Door! They're super fun (in my head) and I'm super all about them, would love to bring them in more!

 

Ok, so re:technology! In my head, there was this push for technology after the second war! It works in a lot of wizard Britain, just not Hogwarts because the castle is so old and rooted in magic that technology doesn't work there still. But like in Hogsmeade and most other places around the world it's all good!

 

The squad! James definitely opens up a little more this chapter; last one he was a little quieter. The boys have such a great friendship and Meg's a great character! I'm glad you enjoyed them all and hope you continue to do so! Thanks for the reviews Abby!



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 28 Aug 2018 07:29 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: two

Hey Sarah! This is your 2nd requested review.

 

 

YES! The ol' Quidditch team is together again! :D And it's Carson's birthday; it's so nice that they're celebrating it with her. Turning 17 is a big deal in the wizarding world, and you capture the occasion well. I'm impressed that Carson is an expert sangria maker, hahaha. And that Parker and Erin are trying to figure out if she's allowed to be making it or not.

 

 

And Freddy AND James! James seems to be a lot quieter than I imagined him to be... but so much is going on: there are tons of party dynamics! I love George in this chapter, though my heart did break a little bit when he carried the Happy Birthday tune so slowly... He and Fred the First did that to the Hogwarts School song back in the day, and my heart panged for the twins to be together again. But it's nice to see that George is able to move past this heartbreak by giving Harry a hard time for marrying Ginny--James' mortification is PRICELESS.

 

Neville! I was stoked to read that he comes to Sort Carson. I like how her Sorting is done privately, with her being an older transfer and all. How much does Carson know about the Second Wizarding War? Neville gets the rep of being an unsung hero, and I feel that Carson would do a proper job showering him with the praise and admiration that he deserves... though I think he'd be a little bashful about it!

 

 

Onto the next chapter!



Author's Response:

I love the old Quidditch team! Such a good group (also any excuse to bring in more Gryffindors :) jk). As Oliver and Alicia mentioned, Carson has no friends here to celebrate with, so who better to celebrate with than this fabulous group? Her birthday provides a great chance to get to know Freddy and James a little better and also have some great family moments with the whole crowd. I went back and forth about how Carson would be sorted as an older transfer student and eventually this is what I decided on, but I'm really happy with how it came out! I picture her knowing a lot about the Second War, but more because of her dad telling her about it and only a little bit from school in America. I'd agree she'd be showering with praise; I mean, it'd be laced with sass because she's fairly incapable of saying anything that's not, but she would definitely be totally appreciate and filled with admiration! Glad you enjoyed this second chapter, Abby!



Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 26 Aug 2018 09:30 PM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: one

Hey Sarah! This is the first of your requested reviews.

 

 

I must say, when I finished reading this chapter, I had a large smile on my face. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Carson. The mood of this story is a lot lighter than what I normally write/read, and it's been such a refreshing change!

 

 

Your story seems awesome after you painstakingly lay the foundations to several potential plots in this first chapter. I'm eager to know more about why Carson has moved to the UK (her mother seems like a piece of work; I'm so excited to meet her). I'm stoked to see more of her friendship with Freddy, too! I also enjoy getting to know Carson's passion and connections to Quidditch. It also allows more complexity between her and Oliver--whose father-daughter relationship is feisty and adorable!

 

 

I actually really like Carson's relationship with her entire UK-side of her family. The love they feel towards each other melts my heart (not to mention how warm and fuzzy I felt seeing Oliver and Alicia together after reading your one shot for Quodpot). 

 

 

I'm curious to see you play with your tone. Your characters are vibrant, bight, and full of detail. In this chapter, I feel you do a lot of showing instead of telling. First chapters are daunting, at least for me, because you want to set up the story just right to hook the reader, establish your setting, and display your amazing characters as you begin the huge task of unraveling your plot. I think a lot of those spectacular details about Carson were told to me, but I want to figure those out for myself through your showing of her. Does that make sense? I think your strongest example of showing in this chapter is Carson's mother. You don't reveal exactly what has gone on to have Carson move across the world, and that has hooked me the most: without outright telling me, I know that there's conflict, I know that Carson and Oliver have both been affected by this, and Carson is facing challenges ahead in dealing with whatever happened. There's so much to continue to learn about this plot point (as well as with Carson's Quidditch interests and UK frienships), and I look forward to reading to find out more!



Author's Response:

Abby!! Glad you enjoyed chapter 1! I'm so excited for you to keep reading through haha! Carson's mom is definitely a piece of work and you find out bits and pieces about her until you actually meet her! But Carson and Oliver have a much better relationship, which you can tell from this chapter! It's fun to see what you think about Carson and her family; Moments Like This is technically the prequel to this, but this was written first. Like, I knew you liked Oliver and Alicia already, but I was excited to see what you thought of Carson and her siblings too! I'm glad you her and her little family and that you enjoyed this chapter!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 12 Aug 2018 05:24 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: nine

Quodpot Review - Match 3

 

Hardcore swooping in on this lone unreviewed chapter, because I'm honestly not sure how I didn't review it the first time. But anyways, it's such a throwback to be reading this chapter now because SO MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE THIS POINT and it's kind of like looking back at an old Facebook album five years later (even though only a few months have actually passed in the story timeline, haha).

 

Like, I'd completely forgotten about this whole argument between Carson and Freddy - and the fact that they were both to stubborn to both admit they were wrong for way longer than necessary. But also I love Angelina's line of "if a boy wants to buy you a drink, you let him as long as he's not a creepy murderer" because like... that's my mindset too? I'm not turning down freebies.

 

Ahh and the early Taco Tuesdays, where James and Carson are still in the friendly-banter phase instead of the James-obviously-having-a-thing-for-Carson-and-Carson-being-completely-oblivious-to-it phase. Like, I just love when she goes off about her cuticles and split ends, and James responds with 'I have no idea what you're talking about' because of course he doesn't.

 

And that girls' day was such an adventure of emotions - I love the amount of backstory you've established in all your secondary characters' lives, and how it becomes really apparent here with the brief conflict between Vero and Lizzie. And the first reference to Ratchel! Which is wild, considering all that I now know of her after reading the 10+ chapters that follow this one. And on an unrelated note, I just love Carson being so casually snobby about wine with her whole out of season comment.

 

Anyways, now that I've reviewed this, I'm back to anxiously awaiting chapter 24!

 

-Taylor



Author's Response:

I LOVED the line in this "it's like looking back at an old Facebook album five years later". That was hilarious! It's so funny looking back at this, these little moments between Carson and Freddy when they were still fighting or pre-dating Carson and James! I'd kind of forgotten about this originial mention of Ratchel and it was kind of fitting that this was the chapter that needed a review since the next one up is the wedding! Also, everyone's motto should be "if a boy wants to buy you a drink, you let him as long as he's not a creepy murderer". No one should be turning down freebies. Chapter 24 up soon!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 02 Aug 2018 08:32 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty three

Once again, we’re on the same upload schedule lol.

 

Ugh I love this girl squad so much. They’re so supportive and all have their own personalities that just meld together so well. I really think the scene of all of them in the Gryffindor girls was my favorite part of this chapter - you just get to see all their dynamics unfold.

 

And also i’m dying laughing at the image of James walking out of the bathroom to see Carson on his bed with Fred and Louis both of top of her and being like, ‘nope, I’m out.’

 

Omg Louis, dude, you need to get your act together ASAP. It’s good that he knows now, but ignoring Maeve is like, not the way to resolve this issue, ya dingus. *sigh* Boys...

 

“Florida remains the most absurd place on the planet” - WHERE IS THE LIE. Also super excited to (maybe) finally meet the infamous Ratchel.

 



Author's Response:

Lol it's too funny that we keep uploading on the same schedule (even more hilarious because I just reviewed the most recent chapter of Complicated right after adding the next chapter of Home to the queue so yet again...). One of my favorite parts of this girl squad is all their different personalities. Like, they are all so different but they mesh so well together. I'm glad you liked that part! It was super fun to write. James just noping out of Carson, Freddy, and Louis in his bed is just so classic. Like he knows that is definitely not worth getting in the middle of--too much crazy in one space. YASS, Louis totally needs to get his act together. Definitely getting there, like 50% there now that he knows, but definitely being a dumb boy by ignoring her. JUST TALK TO HER DUDE! Thanks for reviewing Taylor! 



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 23 Jul 2018 08:56 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty two

Omg sending a wedding invitation via swan instead of via owl is the most Extra™ thing I’ve ever heard of. But good on James for getting Carson to open up some, even if it was a total accident. And I love James being like ‘I’ll come with you’ and Carson just being genuinely thrown off guard by that.

 

‘This meal is cheesy enough, James’ omg Sarah you kill me this line was so freaking great.

 

Ahh Louis and Maeve look like they might be finally sorting things out, so that’s exciting!! Haha I loved the banter between James, Louis, and Carson in this chapter, where Carson basically refuses to be anything other than her stubborn self and James is just like... dude, I thought we were staying out of this.

 

And oh Meg is finally breaking up with Tim! First of all, how typically Carson it is for her to just be carrying around a flask of whiskey. And how typical of Freddy to immediately be like ‘so how long do I have to wait before I’m allowed to ask her out.’

 

Final note: Carson and James’ dynamic has never been better explained than in Carson being like “we have to go find Meg!” and James being like “but Quidditch practice!” and eventually just like, dragging her to practice.

 

Loved so much about this chapter!! <3



Author's Response:

Oh my gosh, this was the first like real preview, I guess, we've had of Carson's mom? I mean, Carson has talked about her before, but it's always a little different from someone's perspective than to actually see start to see someone. Extra is a GREAT way to describe her. I'm SO excited for what's to come! Yes, Meg is finally breaking up with Tim! Freddy is natrually pumped about this and theiur running group will have so many things to talk about now! I felt like so many moments this chapter were the epitome of each character. Like Maeve immediately going into worry mode and pulling out all kinds of sweets while Carson pulls out whiskey. Or like you said later in this, Carson and James' whole dynamic before practice! Carson and James are at a point where they're just super fun to write right now! Like everything is new and good between them so it's just fun and flirty and they're all good and high on each other so they can have all these opinions about everyone else's relationships now, even though theirs is like barely a month old (coughMaeveandLouiscough)! Thanks for reviewing Taylor! Hope to have the next chapter up sometime early next week!



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 18 Jul 2018 06:20 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: three

Man. The way Carson speaks about her mother makes me a bit sad. Why was her mother so cold--for lack of a better word--when Carson was around? If Carson is in her care, it's her responsibility to make sure she's happy and healthy. 

 

At least she's got a better family now. 

 

The scene at Platform 9 3/4 was so funny!

 

Carson's personality attracts a lot of friends, it seems. I would not have been able to do that. (It took me two months to make friends when I moved.)

 

First day of classes has gone smoothly, and all of the relationships have been set up. 

 

I'm excited to see what comes next! xx



Author's Response:

Ahh, Carson's mom is a big issue for her! So much more on that to come (it's actually getting to be like a central plot point on what I'm writing now haha)! But yes, much better things now! The realtionships have been set up and her friendships have been formed and we're off! I'm glad you've enjoyed what you've read so far and hope you continue to do so! Thanks for reading and reviewing (and organizing the swap)!



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 18 Jul 2018 06:17 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: two

Carson is amazing lmfao.

 

I really like her sense of humor and easygoing personality. She seems to be fitting in well with her ‘new' family. I wonder how she'll get along with James and Fred.

 

I'm also concerned about what was in Stepdad #14's (I'm still cracking up that she calls her stepdad's by numbers she's assigned them) letter? It seems to be bothering her a lot.

 

I must keep reading! xx



Author's Response:

Aw, I'm glad you like Carson! She's definitely got a good sense of humor (and a big dose of sass)! She fits in with her "new" family pretty well--she's spent time with them all before, but it's a bit of an adjustment living there full time for her. More with James and Fred next chapter when she goes off to school! Glad you enjoyed!



Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 17 Jul 2018 09:34 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: one

Hi! Here for our review swap.

 

I’m interested by the predicament I’m immediately put into at the beginning of the story. So we know that Carson has divorced parents, and they both had custody of her. I wonder what happened that her mum was forced into giving up custody of Carson?

 

I’m also interested in Oliver and Rachel’s relationship; I wonder how they happened. No doubt it was one of those boom and bust relationships, the fast and quick kind.

 

Okay, so I breezed through the chapter, sorry lmfao.

 

Carson is interesting so far, and I think you have a good set up for the story that might come. There was emphasis on her biological parents’ relationship and divorce, so I’m assuming that being the child of two divorcees might have given her a skewed perspective on relationships, or maybe a lack of ability to make meaningful relationships?

 

I don’t know. I’ll read on!

 

Lovely first chapter! xx



Author's Response:

Ahhh Carson's mom...she's a piece of work, as I'm sure you can tell just by this chapter already! Oliver and Rachel were definitely fast and quick--that kind where you think things are perfect and then things kind of settle down and you realize that they're not. But by that point they'd already gotten married and had Carson, so there's just that extra complication to make things a little more tricky for them and for her, becuase yes, she does have some trouble with relationships and opening up to people! Glad you liked the first chapter!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 11 Jul 2018 12:52 PM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty one

Yes, I called it!! Uncle Justin's reaction makes it 10x better too - 'just take a shot with me and I won't tell your dad.' He's the ultimate cool uncle and I love him so much. (Also, on that note, it's really rare that I read a fic and am like 'oh yeah the parent figures are some of my favourite characters' but I just love Oliver and Alicia and Justin so much in this story.)

 

Oh no, Meg's run-in with Tim was so awkward! Of course, it's rare that a run-in with an ex (or an... almost ex at this point) isn't weird. Also, I'm going out of order but Lou and Maeve omg!! That's such a sticky situation, and for both of their sakes I hope they get it sorted out soon. I know Maeve's too nice for this but wow would it be satisfying for her to just walk up to Lou and be like, 'you told me you loved me while you were blackout, so you should probably explain yourself now.' (But tbh if anyone's gonna confront Lou like that, my money's on Carson.)

 

Omg Alicia and Angelina making suggestive comments about Carson and Freddy was funny, but Coop and Fitz doing so was even funnier. That whole situation was hilarious, and I love that it just culminated in Carson finally saying something about her and James because while she wants it on the down low,  the idea that she's dating Freddy is literally so much worse than that so she's just like screw it, this is the only way to get them to shut up.

 

Also, Liam was definitely my favourite reaction this chapter - he had so many gold lines, from 'holy shit!' *knocks inkwell over* 'shit!' to 'you should probably get that date' to 'Carson's never had an anniversary to get into'... the boy was on fire this chapter, truly.

 

Loved it, as always!!! <3



Author's Response:

Haha Uncle Justin is Carson's go-to guy for those little things Carson can't talk to her dad about (aka her new boy that she's not ready to talk about yet). I'm glad you like all the adults. They are a fun bunch! Run-ins with exes are always tough but for Meg it's especially rough right now, because she's in this awkward in-between spot. And yes! Lou and Maeve! Maeve is defintiely too nice, but ugh somebody needs to shake some sense into that boy, and soon! It was one thing for their mom's to think they'd make a cute couple, but totally another for their friends and Carson was not about to listen to practice after practice of that nonsense. Better to just nip that one in the bud early on. Glad you enjoyed this! Next one will (hopefully) be up shortly! Had some trouble with one of the scenes but think I've worked past it to get it together! Thanks for reviewing Taylor! :)



Name: gryffinclaw (Signed) · Date: 11 Jul 2018 06:05 AM · starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty one

I read this on the train and laughed so much people moved seats.



Author's Response:

Oh my gosh, this is such a wonderful compliment! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! Thanks for reading and reviewing and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!



Name: StarFeather (Signed) · Date: 10 Jul 2018 09:47 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: four

Oh the owl letter might be filled with condoms from Oliver? Hmm, Alicia would think it hilarious... a funny family. The boys including Freddie and James must have felt hilarious.

 

Quodpot! I need to check it. Has 'Quidditch through Ages' explained about the sports?

 

Carson is a daughter of Oliver Wood. She is definitely a talented player for Gryffindor team. I like the tryouts scene. And I felt happy that you let James say about his mum.

 

On the beach scene, I felt your American taste with bikini girls. J.K.R has never written the boys and girls enjoy swimming near beach in summer. I think totally it's okay. The earth gets hotter and hotter year by year due to global warming. I saw a picture people (mostly Muggles) enjoy basking under the sun on the beach in Britain recently, so often. :)

 

K



Author's Response:

Haha yes, that first letter home was definitely an adventure in the Wood family relations. One more example of the differences of Carson's relationship with her dad compared to her mom, but also how it may compare with other parent-child relationships. I found Quodpot when I googled "American quidditch." It is apparently what they play there and there's a whole backstory to it. I believe it is in Quiddith through the ages, but it's definitely able to be googled for at least a short version! I'm glad you enoyed the tryouts scene! We're starting some Quidditch scenes here and it was fun to get that rolling. I hope you continue to enjoy them! I thought the beach scene was just a good example of them being teenagers! Some time for them all to relax before they really get deep into the school year! 

Thanks for reading and reviewing!



Name: ShadowRose (Signed) · Date: 05 Jul 2018 11:02 AM · [Report This]
Story:Home Chapter: twenty

Given the way the last chapter ended, one would expect the dramatic stuff to happen at the start of this chapter but nope, you saved it for the end!! I love cliffhangers in which someone has been caught doing something they shouldn't (aka snogging in the Quidditch Hall of Fame) but you have no idea who caught them. I have my guesses (for some reason I'm set on Uncle Justin, given the wording, but Alicia also seem like a viable option).

 

Anyways, I loved Meg's reaction first thing in the morning, like, so much? Like honestly, of course she was even more excited than Carson was about her and James. Also I just really really love the image of Carson doing finger guns at Victor Krum?? That's so completely her and I love it so much. And Carson and James together are still so dang cute and so dorky about Quidditch and it's just absolutely wonderful.

 

Excellent chapter as always!! <3



Author's Response:

Haha yes, threw things for a loop by holding the drama for the end. Just Meg being dramatic to start, but that's nothing unusual. To be expected, really. It's so Meg to be more excited about Carson's relationship than Carson and it's so Carson to be like eh whatever. I'm glad you enjoyed Meg's little commotion. Oh my gosh, Carson is truly so awkward sometimes. She hides it well sometimes, but no. I loved getting the chance to really show off James and Carson's nerdy Quidditch sides! This was such a good opportunity for them to be dorky about another aspect of Quidditch we don't see at school! Before Carson started talking too much (typical) and James had to shut her up (again, typical). Hoping to have next chapter (and the answer to who caugh them doing something they shouldn't be doing) up shortly! Thanks for reviewing Taylor!



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