So I read this and I was SO CONFUSED about who you were talking about. My first thought was Lily Potter because of Karen Gillan on the banner (and also because Lily Potter is always my first thought in everything), but it doesn't quite seem to fit her. So I peeked at your review responses and saw that you didn't have anyone specific in mind and everything made sense again!
And after I had cleared up my silliness, I really liked the fact that you didn't name a character, and that you didn't have anyone in mind when you wrote it. I really like stories that are ambiguous in that way, I feel like it almost allows the reader to connect more with the character. Possibly because it allows you to project on to the character, or make it whichever character you relate to the most. It's an interesting concept and I think you did an excellent job of it here.
As usual, your writing is simply gorgeous, and I loved reading every second ofit. When I peeked in the reviews I saw that there was a narration of this floating around somewhere, and you can bet I'm going to go find it ASAP! This is so melodious and poetic and just lovely, I'll bet it's jaw dropping when read aloud!
The first sentence itself is just so pretty.
"The screaming, the terror, the fighting and crying."
The content is not so pretty, but the meter and the way it flows is perfect. I could actually probably analyze every single line of this to tell you how wonderful it is, but I think I'd probably run out of characters.
This is just gorgeous, I'll definitely have to come back to read some more of your work!
Transferred from HPFF
Hufflepuff CtF Review
Haha, you get story ideas while washing up as well? I do too! Plenty in the shower, but I think more while brushing my teeth somehow XD
I spent a moment trying to figure out whose perspective this story was from, but that uncertainty didn’t bother me for nearly as long as it normally would. This story is from anyone’s perspective, from everyone’s perspective, and it reads really well that way.
A line that really gets me is “The silence that spread across the entire world, causing everyone to stop. But no one rejoiced. No one stood up and cheered.” We’ve spent seven years building towards this victory and people have been fighting for it since before Harry was born, but it feels impossible to celebrate. All of the loss suffered aside, “The world is not as terrible place as it was going to be” is hardly above neutral on the negative-positive scale. Even for the few who scraped through without a huge personal loss, I imagine most of what they’d feel is exhausted.
You make a very good point that what is told by history as a victory rarely feels worth celebrating in the moment.
Okay, so at the end there you do make this from a specific person’s perspective, someone who has lost their entire family. I wonder who you meant that to be. Were you thinking of a specific character for that?
This ended super heavy. I really felt the sense of there being no hope for moving forward, to the point that I almost didn’t want to keep reading, that was how successful you were at creating a sense of drained hope in the reader. I’ll mark that one down as a yikes/well done.