Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 15 Apr 2018 02:42 PM · starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Story:Breath of Fresh Air Chapter: Breath of Fresh Air

One of the many things that she admired about your best friend.Hey, Abbi! Here with the first prize review for my Peter challenge! :)

Okay, so, this was just so cute!

I love the way you describe Katie's feelings here, the way she interrogates herself over her feelings and the way she slowly comes to understand them. I think it's adorable how she's always felt that her friendship with Alicia was special, different from the other friendships she had, and that little detail of her inviting her to take the bed next to hers and calling her Kat. I love how she always blushed when she was with her.

I was a bit confused about the timing at first, but I guess I was just not very focused because it's very clear now. I did catch a typo, though, I think:

One of the many things that she admired about your best friend. I suppose you wanted to say that you admired

I really loved your use of second person, btw. It was very effective. And I loved all your description. Great job on this!

Maybe, if I really wanted to give you CC, is that I would have loved this to be a bit longer, more expanded? But it's really lovely the way it is, don't mind me... :P

Lots of love, my dear! And thank you again for participating in my challenge and congratulations for winning it! :)


Submit a Review